GRAVEDALE HIGH Episode 6 The Grave Intruder Staring Rick Moranis
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LifestyleTranscript
01:30Now, you printing, Boneyard? Our student body is awaiting this issue with bated breath.
01:37Our student body stopped breathing years ago.
01:44Please, class, settle down!
01:52And that means no pizza frisbee, Frankenpike.
01:55What pizza, man?
01:57Bon appétit, petit gars.
02:04C'est la vie, Cleo.
02:05Monster Beats Magazine décrit New Squids on the Block
02:08comme le plus révoltant acte de l'année.
02:10Oh, ouais?
02:11Eh bien, c'est de la merde comparé à mon gars, Rap Master Tut.
02:15Hey!
02:16J'assume que vous étiez en train de discuter d'idées pour notre projet de classe.
02:19Comme nous le savons tous, c'était l'assignement d'aujourd'hui.
02:23J'ai un projet délicieux, professeur, gars.
02:26Allons tous se battre pour un autre pied.
02:30La pizza est bien, mais j'avais plus en tête quelque chose sans des anchovies.
02:33Tu sais, quelque chose d'éducatif.
02:37Est-ce que je peux vous conseiller de construire un modèle de mon monstre 1 space probe?
02:41Alors que toute la classe pourra visiter d'autres planètes.
02:44Je vais y aller. Je n'ai jamais acheté de planètes.
02:47Pensez-vous qu'ils prendront le chargeur monstre?
02:49Ne laissons pas la Terre sans nous.
02:51Pourquoi ne pas tous investir dans des bonbons?
02:53Alors que nous pourrions voir votre argent se transformer en déchets.
02:57Pourquoi ne vous pas tous donner une vie?
03:00Comment ça pour un projet?
03:02Le projet de donner une vie.
03:04Je prends ça en considération, douceur.
03:08Qu'est-ce que c'est?
03:09Le Gravedale Gazette?
03:11C'est ça, Mr. Schneider.
03:13C'est ce qu'il nous faut.
03:15C'est ce qu'il nous faut.
03:17C'est ça, Mr. Schneider.
03:19C'est ça, Mr. Schneider.
03:21Commencez à les faire sortir.
03:25Qu'est-ce que vous faites?
03:27Hey, qu'est-ce que c'est que le noir et le blanc et tout ça?
03:30Le Gravedale Gazette.
03:32Yo, je peux utiliser un nouveau capteur, hein?
03:34Je suppose que tu ne peux pas attendre pour ton capteur, douceur.
03:37Oui, Schneider, mes oiseaux vont juste fourrer dessus.
03:41Le Gravedale Gazette
03:46Cette douceur, toujours avec ses blagues.
03:48Douceur, j'ai l'impression que vous n'appréciez pas votre capteur de l'école.
03:53Tu as raison, c'est un gros dégueulasse.
03:56Et je suppose que tu pourrais faire mieux.
03:59Bien sûr, tu m'assures que je peux.
04:02Très bien, alors d'ici à maintenant, tu sortes le Gravedale Gazette.
04:06Et tu devrais voir ce qu'elle fait.
04:10Le Gravedale Gazette
04:13Ce sera un plaisir, madame Crone.
04:16Eh bien, les garçons, regardez sur le bon côté.
04:18Au moins, nous avons tous un projet de classe, n'est-ce pas, douceur?
04:21Tu as raison, Schneider. Et selon l'ancien Ironhand, je mène le défilé.
04:27Ok, écoutez-moi. Voici votre assignement.
04:30JP, vous gardez le boulot.
04:32J'aime donner le boulot aux gens.
04:35Vinnie Nightlight
04:36Yo, j'ai fait le changement de graveyard.
04:40Sid, tu seras le rapporteur d'entretien.
04:42Super, je peux me donner une bonne revue.
04:45C'est la performance de l'année.
04:47Je mène le monde selon Sid.
04:49Waterman Sports, Blanche Society, Moon Geek Science, Rank Tank Photographer, Clio Food.
04:54Bien sûr, comment ça se passe avec les pâtes au chocolat?
04:57Prends ton temps, Clio. Je veux que tu écrives sur la nourriture, pas que tu manges.
05:02Je dois dire, douceur, que je suis vraiment impressionné de ton attitude de charge.
05:06Hey, quelqu'un doit montrer à l'arbre de croûne comment c'est fait.
05:09Maintenant, si vous m'excusez, j'ai un papier à courir.
06:01Wouhou!
06:06Blobby, la prochaine fois que je te vois s'éloigner de classe tard, je vais te mettre dans la froide profonde.
06:12Comment va le business du journal, Mr. Schneider?
06:16Eh bien, les presses sont presque prêtes à rouler.
06:18Je dirais que Douceur fait un bon travail.
06:20Elle devrait le faire, parce que je te garde personnellement responsable.
06:27Et dimanche, je sers du Crab-Monster.
06:31Fais un déjeuner de cette beauté.
06:36Dimanche, Crab-Monster.
06:38Comment va mon petit journaliste?
06:40Eh bien, le menu de dimanche et de dimanche sont vraiment délicieux.
06:44Tu appelles un menu stupide une histoire?
06:47Tu devrais avoir un grand scoop!
06:50Oh, je vais te donner un grand scoop.
06:53Très spécial aujourd'hui.
06:55Irispew.
06:58Ils ressemblent à des histoires solides. Bien joué, les gars.
07:01Merci, Mr. Schneider.
07:03Et Frankentype, ces photos sont très artistiques.
07:06Ouais, mec, je suis un vrai Andy Warthog.
07:13Eh bien, je suppose que tu n'as pas besoin de moi ici.
07:15J'ai un rendez-vous à l'université.
07:18Oh, Deuzer!
07:20Je regardais juste les histoires.
07:22C'est de la bonne chose.
07:24All right, let's see what the Dweeb Patrol brought in.
07:26In the Swim by Gil Waterman.
07:28Full Moon Report by Reggie Moontrout.
07:30A Dead Night in the Cemetery by Vinnie Stoker.
07:33The Torture Chamber Orchestra Reviewed.
07:36Shall I start the press?
07:39I think we're about ready to put this paper to bed.
07:42Oh yeah? This stuff is about to put me to sleep.
07:46Hey, what about my pictures?
07:48Mr. Schneider said my glossies were great, man.
07:51Frankly, Frankentype, your glossies are dull.
07:54Just like the stories.
07:56I won't print any of this.
08:00Boneyard, stop the presses!
08:02I never started them.
08:04What are you reading that's so interesting?
08:07Shocking Exposé, Godzilla to Wed Madonna.
08:10What is this?
08:12The Real Paper, the National Midnight Star.
08:16Available at finer convenience stores everywhere.
08:19Man sees spots after dating Dalmatian.
08:22Woman finds Michael Jackson's real nose in a can of soup.
08:26Now these are stories!
08:28I completely disagree.
08:30These stories are totally false, contrived and made up.
08:33No respectable newspaper would print them.
08:35What's respect got to do with it?
08:37I hear that rug has over 2 million subscribers.
08:40I can respect that.
08:42Right, now is this the kind of paper we want or what?
08:48Absolutely not!
08:50That settles it.
08:51Now let's see if we can put some zip in these stories.
08:54And if you can't make them interesting, make them up!
08:56This kind of hack journalism is an insult to the integrity of the Gravedale Gazette.
09:01The Gravedale Gazette is dead meat, Moonface.
09:05From now on, it's the Grave Intruder.
09:12Extra, extra, get your Grave Intruder here.
09:16Intruder exclusive.
09:18Pet mistress can't keep hands off human honey.
09:21Read all about it.
09:29Are we a mega hit or what?
09:32Are we a mega hit or what?
09:34The Gazette never had this many readers.
09:37Yes, if my heart had circulation this good, I might still be alive.
09:42Here's the thought, JP.
09:44Congratulations, kids.
09:46I hear your first edition of the Gravedale Gazette is a sellout.
09:49I couldn't even get a copy.
09:51Yes, it's already a collector's item.
09:53Care to buy mine?
09:55No, but I'll borrow it.
09:56Hey, this isn't the Gravedale Gazette.
09:58You got that right, Schneider.
10:00The Gazette is dead and buried.
10:02Check out the new improved Doozify Grave Intruder.
10:05Doozer, what is this?
10:07Uh, it's called a newspaper, teacher dude.
10:10No, I meant this phony story about me and Headmistress Crumb.
10:13Great headline or what?
10:15Doozer, this is sensationalistic hogwash.
10:18Yeah, well the hogs around here are sure slopping it up.
10:21In fact, our entertainment reporter is getting the scoop right now.
10:25Excuse me, what do you think of the Grave Intruder?
10:28I just love it. Intruding minds wanna know.
10:32The whole school is buzzing over it.
10:35It makes a good flyswatter.
10:37Help me!
10:39Did I tell you, Schneider?
10:41The intruder's what's happening.
10:43Well, what happened to those nice stories I read and approved?
10:46Gack!
10:49Yo, Teach, we ought to get an A for this class project, eh?
10:53An A for awful. The intruder has no class.
10:57Still life, Moonbrain. Every monster loves the Grave Intruder.
11:05That old battle-axe crone must be more desperate than I thought,
11:09falling for that human loser.
11:12I love this rag.
11:15Huh? Coach Cadaver's secret shame?
11:18He's got a human brain?
11:20What? That's a lie!
11:23This brain is all monster.
11:25Somebody's gonna pay for this.
11:27I love the intruder.
11:31Wrong face, Roy has rabies.
11:33I rule rock...
11:36I'll rip that little rat right and right.
11:39Get a load of this.
11:41That bloodsucker Stoker said our cemetery is dead at night.
11:45Yes, and he called us a bunch of stiffs.
11:53Intruder exposé.
11:55Sound cleans kitchen?
11:57Roaches leave in protest?
11:59That's a load of garbage.
12:01My kitchen's as filthy as ever.
12:03Oh, I'll make him eat those words.
12:05Sure, I believe in a free-press doozer,
12:08but that doesn't mean you're free to make up any old story and print it.
12:12A lot of people could get very upset.
12:14Get a life, Schneider.
12:16Everybody loves the intruder.
12:18I don't see anybody upset but you.
12:23Mr. Schneider, what's the meaning of this?
12:27Um, well...
12:29Well, gee, Headmistress Krohn, you see...
12:32We'll discuss it in my office.
12:45Oh, the grave intruder is so cool.
12:48Yeah, can we have your picture?
12:50Hey, Cleo man, we're famous.
12:53Yeah, little dude, this reporter stuff is way radical.
13:01Hey, you reporter types want some seconds?
13:04Sure, Sal.
13:05This newspaper business does have its perks.
13:09Hey!
13:10No one says Sal's kitchen is clean and gets away with it.
13:15Hold the poles, Cleo man.
13:17I want a shot of that for our next edition.
13:26Manjog! Manjog, man!
13:32Slow down, little dude.
13:34I'll get a picture of you in the newsroom.
13:36Waterman, did you write this story about me?
13:39Yeah, Coach dude. Pretty awesome, huh?
13:42I'll show you awesome.
13:45No one says I'm not a hundred percent monster.
14:01Oh, I was afraid this might happen, Vinnie.
14:05It's a bridge.
14:14I'm gonna get you, fish lips.
14:16Bring it, right now!
14:19See, Vinnie? The power of the press is not to be taken lightly.
14:23Hey, no big deal, Reg. They'll get over it.
14:26We won't get over this, Vinnie Stoker.
14:29You can't call us a bunch of stiffs and get away with it.
14:32Uh, yo, so I exaggerated a little.
14:35You're not a bunch of stiffs, okay?
14:40Yo, let go!
14:41Ouch!
15:11It's beautiful in the springtime.
15:13Very nice.
15:14But really, Headmistress Crone, you and I both know I'm not your human honey.
15:19But you could be.
15:21Actually, I find you less repulsive than most living things.
15:29Gee, you're quite a wonderful dead person yourself.
15:32And I would hate to see you upset by this foolish nonsense.
15:35I'll have Doozer print a retraction at once.
15:39Oh!
15:40I've always wanted a honeymoon in Transylvania.
15:47Where's my staff, Boneyard?
15:49Don't those dweebs know I've got deadlines?
15:52Well, I can't stay late.
15:54I've got a hot date tonight.
15:56Get real, Boneyard.
15:58Where'd you dig up a date?
16:00Right here, in the National Midnight Star Personals.
16:04Now excuse me while I press my suit.
16:09Well, it's about time.
16:11I hope you're all out getting stories.
16:13Yeah, and this one's short and sweet.
16:15We quit.
16:16Yeah, those trashy stories of yours got us trashed, man.
16:21Just look at my shirt.
16:23And my dress is ruined.
16:27I warned you, Miss Editor-Ma'am.
16:29Publishing lies can only lead to trouble.
16:31Get lost, wolf-breath.
16:35In fact, all of you get lost.
16:37I can handle the Grave Intruder by myself.
16:40Hey, yo, talk about a monster ego, huh?
16:43Yeah, man.
16:44Who wants to work for that snakehead anyway?
16:47Well, Boneyard, looks like it's just you and me.
16:50Doozer!
16:51And Schneider makes three.
16:53I demand a retraction.
16:55Thanks to your phony story,
16:56Headmistress Crone is hounding me for a honeymoon.
16:59Don't croak or anything, Schneider.
17:02What do you want me to say?
17:03Tell your readers the truth, Doozer.
17:05Headmistress Crone means nothing to me.
17:10Extra! Extra!
17:11Read all about him, the Grave Intruder!
17:14Schneider, confess it!
17:16Crone means nothing to me!
17:22Wow, is this paper hot or what?
17:27Well, Doozer, where's the retraction?
17:29Sorry, Schneider, sold out.
17:31Wait! Come back!
17:33Let me get one last look at you, Schneider,
17:36while you're still in one piece.
17:38What are you mumbling about, Coach Cadaver?
17:44Oh, no! Doozer!
17:47Wait till old Ironfist finds out that you dealt him.
17:50So I mean nothing to you, eh, Mr. Schneider?
17:54I'll teach you to trifle with my affections!
17:58Ah, this is all a terrible mistake!
18:01Yes, and you made it!
18:12Yo, Doozer was right.
18:14She don't need us to help publish this trashy newspaper.
18:17Get a load of this headline, huh?
18:19Yeah, man. When Crone sees it, Mr. Schneider's gonna get trashed.
18:24Yeah!
18:26Are you all right, Mr. Schneider, sir?
18:28No!
18:30But you said we'd be married!
18:34I never said that!
18:36Doozer made it up!
18:40Smile!
18:42Oh, Doozer!
18:44We need a serious talk with Mr. Schneider.
18:47I'll be right back.
18:53Talk!
18:56I'm dead serious!
19:05Stop!
19:07Whoa! Teacher Deed's heading for a major wipeout!
19:11Yeah! Crone's gonna turn Schneider into another Gravedale stiff, man!
19:16And it's all Doozer's fault!
19:18Hmm, there might be a way to teach her that the power of the press is a two-edged sword.
19:31Don't stop now, Mr. Boneyard, sir.
19:33We've got to get out this special edition of The Grave Intruder.
19:37And I've got to get to my date.
19:40But we're out of ink. Hand me a squid.
19:49I know you're in there somewhere, Mr. Schneider!
20:04Doozer!
20:12Wait till my next issue hits the stand!
20:16Boneyard, start the presses! I've got to...
20:18Huh? What are you dweebs doing in my office?
20:21Come to beg for your old jobs back?
20:23Not exactly, but we came up with a hot scoop that's right up your alley.
20:29Doozer loves Frankentyke? That's a lie!
20:34Didn't know you cared, man!
20:41No monster in their right mind would believe this story!
20:44Why not? They believed everything else.
20:47We'll just let your readers decide.
20:50Okay, I get it.
20:52What's it going to take to keep that paper from ever leaving this dungeon?
20:55We want you to make this newspaper a class project again.
20:59And that means we bury the Grave Intruder. Together.
21:03But headmistress Crone, you don't understand.
21:07I understand perfectly, you male chauvinist human!
21:12Can I have him when you're done? Huh? Can I? Can I?
21:15There won't be anything left when I'm done!
21:18Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
21:21Intruder expose! Schneider's secret love!
21:24Hey man, read all about it!
21:30Secret love? Why that two-timing?
21:36Max Schneider reveals his heart belongs to the kids in his class?
21:40Then what about those stories about him and me?
21:43Made him up!
21:44Loser! You're fired!
21:47Get a life! I quit!
21:49Can somebody let me down, please?
21:52Mr. Schneider, I guess I owe you an apology.
21:58Well, even though our little publishing venture bombed,
22:01we still learned a lot about the power of the press
22:04and how it can affect our lives.
22:06Ah, well, no power on Earth could ever make me be the bride of Frankentyke.
22:10Maybe so, man.
22:12But I'm still saving this headline for a souvenir.
22:15I've got a headline for you, you little jerk!
22:27It's fun with ghosts and goblins on a special Halloween episode of Parenthood.
22:33That's tonight, and it's only on NBC.