Welcome to Plathville S6 Episode 8 - I Was Born on Highway 111
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00:00Larissa, do tell.
00:02Would you say you're looking for something specific with dating or are you just kind
00:06of like open to anything right now?
00:09The first date that I went on post-divorce, I did not suspect anything when he said, do
00:14you want to go home and meet my cat?
00:16So I very quickly learned that I don't really know a lot about a lot.
00:24Veronica and I are doing really good.
00:26I tried to hide for a while.
00:27It didn't work.
00:30I look at you and me as like we're basically married.
00:33It's like the commitment level that we have together.
00:36Is marriage in your future?
00:42That's awkward silence.
00:46I can't wait to hear your new album.
00:49It's been really hard for me to see Mariah go through another painful relationship breakup.
00:55This time though, she just picked herself up and she's just like, okay, I'm taking over
01:00the world now.
01:01I mean, I'm proud of that girl.
01:05Are you going in?
01:20Depends on how cold it is.
01:23It's cute.
01:24Oh my God.
01:25Look at the sailboat.
01:26It's so pretty.
01:27My mom would say, I want to be out there.
01:30We're at one of the beautiful beaches today here in our backyard.
01:34I think the last time she and I were at the beach was our second date.
01:38A year and a half ago.
01:39We go often.
01:42It's like when you live next to it, you take it for granted and never go and you just get
01:47busy.
01:48Right here?
01:49No.
01:50A little in.
01:51You want to sit on the edge?
01:52Yeah.
01:53Veronica and I have recently decided to take our relationship public and so far it's going
01:56good.
01:57Here.
01:58My biggest worry about going public is my privacy.
01:59Micah being in the public eye, he's sort of a tell-all book and I'm a book with a lock
02:00on it.
02:01But him being so open about his life and me being the complete opposite, we've learned
02:02to counterbalance each other.
02:03It's a lot of work.
02:04It's a lot of work.
02:05It's a lot of work.
02:06It's a lot of work.
02:07It's a lot of work.
02:08It's a lot of work.
02:09It's a lot of work.
02:10It's a lot of work.
02:11It's a lot of work.
02:12It's a lot of work.
02:13It's a lot of work.
02:14It's a lot of work.
02:17It's a lot of work.
02:18It's a lot of work.
02:19It's a lot of work.
02:20It's a lot of work.
02:21It's a lot of work.
02:22It's a lot of work.
02:23Alright, what do you love about Micah?
02:24OK, so what do I love about Micah?
02:25Oh my god, there's a lot of things.
02:26Go catch.
02:27What do I look like, a dog?
02:28There goes your shoes.
02:29Yes you were able to get out of the pool fast.
02:38There goes your shoes.
02:46First, I call it golden retriever energy.
02:48Like, I love his personality, his being, how he enters a room, his outlook on life.
02:53Veronica, catch.
02:55No.
02:58It doesn't hurt that he's good looking.
03:00But to be honest with you, one of the first things I thought about Micah was like,
03:04oh, he's not going to like me.
03:05I'm a little bit taller than him.
03:07But he does.
03:08We completely, like, don't look at that.
03:12We couldn't care less, so.
03:17In a lot of ways, we're opposite.
03:19I'm definitely more out of the box, more adventurous than my girlfriend is.
03:22She's the homebody.
03:24Yeah.
03:25What?
03:29OK.
03:29I don't like laying like this.
03:31Why not?
03:31It's very awkward.
03:32Lay on your side then.
03:33You're going to get covered in makeup.
03:36Veronica is definitely the most opinionated out of the two of us.
03:39She's not a pushover.
03:40You can't get your way around her.
03:44You got to earn.
03:46OK, let's see what good you are at this.
03:48Ready?
03:51No, I suck at this.
03:53Also, I love her work ethic.
03:55I find that very, very attractive.
03:57But she's a little bougier than I am.
04:02She likes electric vehicles.
04:04She likes pink.
04:05Paris Hilton, Taylor Swift.
04:06And I like, you know, motorcycles, diesel trucks, guy stuff, I guess.
04:11And she doesn't really care about those things.
04:16We got to recreate what we did on our second date.
04:18You tried to throw me in the water.
04:25I'm just kidding.
04:29Last time you weren't kidding.
04:30You chucked me in and I was like, who is this guy?
04:33I didn't.
04:33You did.
04:34It was the little pond in the middle.
04:36You threw me in.
04:37I didn't throw you in.
04:38I probably walked in there with you, but I didn't get you wet.
04:40I know I'm wet.
04:40You got me soaking wet last time.
04:42I would not have done that.
04:44No, you would have.
04:45Because you did.
04:46I would remember that.
04:48Because you did.
04:49You're frustrated sometimes.
04:50I know, don't you love it?
04:52Take your glasses off.
04:52I can't see.
04:54You're pretty without your glasses.
04:55I can't see.
04:58We have kind of this playful banter that we do a lot.
05:02I don't need to see anymore anyway.
05:05I like playing around and teasing and goofing off.
05:08Yeah, have a kick in your step and be happy and look on the bright side of things.
05:14You need to get that rock.
05:16Yes.
05:23Mine's nicer.
05:28Look at mine.
05:29Are you in love?
05:32Are we in love?
05:33He's not going to say.
05:33I'm waiting for him first.
05:39I'm going to give you some humility today.
05:44I think we're in real love.
05:46It's not all bliss, but we love each other.
05:50I think that's a good answer.
05:52It's a safe answer.
05:54Yeah.
05:54No, it's not all happy and roses 100% of the time.
06:00Yeah.
06:01But it is a lot of the time.
06:02I guess it's genuine love.
06:04Yeah.
06:08Oh, goodness gracious.
06:10Is this all one word?
06:13No.
06:14Where's the spaces?
06:17No!
06:20I win.
06:20What was it?
06:23That sucks.
06:24You didn't win.
06:24Yeah, I did.
06:25What was it?
06:26One guess left.
06:27What was it?
06:29This is what it was.
06:31Oh, I guessed L.
06:33No, you didn't.
06:34Yes, I did.
06:35You never guessed L.
06:37You guessed B-A-T-S and then V.
06:40I fell for you.
06:43No, I fell for you.
06:46Oh, thank you.
07:01It's so nice outside today.
07:03I literally just want to get some fresh air and run around in some poop and kick up some dust.
07:07It's insane.
07:07Milk and utter.
07:09Lydia Grace is in town for a few days and I thought it would be kind of fun to go out to a farm,
07:16milk some cows.
07:18I grew up on a farm and I've always missed it since I left.
07:23I was the one that oversaw all like the milking chores.
07:26That was my world.
07:28I think I was really scared to explore that when I was with Ethan because
07:34if I were to have said like, oh, I miss country life and the farm and all these things,
07:39he immediately would have taken that as I wanted to settle down in Cairo, Georgia
07:42and have 10 kids and be barefoot and homeschooling and all of this.
07:45And I didn't want that life.
07:47Now, being single, I feel like I'm in a place where I can be like, oh,
07:52I really miss nature and animals and the farm.
07:55And I really miss that hard work.
07:56And I don't want the life that I grew up in, but I want to revisit it in my own way.
08:03I told you about like the little get together we're going to have while you're here.
08:05Going to talk about sexy sex.
08:07Yeah.
08:07I don't even know exactly what this entails, but a friend of mine was like,
08:10hey, I know someone who does like little gatherings for like 20 somethings, whatever,
08:18I guess any age, but like all he all he had to tell me was that she would talk about sex.
08:24We would play games.
08:24There'd be swag bags for me to be like, yep, sign me up.
08:29Since being out and like dating, going on dates, hooking up,
08:34I'm realizing that I actually have way more handicaps than I thought I did.
08:38Yeah.
08:39What I knew about sex growing up was don't have it until you're married.
08:46And that resulted in so much misinformation, even as a teenager.
08:50Like I remember being a teenager and thinking I could get pregnant if I was literally like
08:53sitting too close to a guy.
08:56I've only been in one long-term relationship.
08:58And the fact that I was with someone who also came from the fundamental world,
09:02now being out on my own, I feel like I'm realizing for the first time
09:09how much purity culture really me up.
09:12Yeah. It affects you mentally, doesn't it?
09:13That's why I married the first boy that I held hands with.
09:17The other thing that I was told is like, once you are married
09:21and you can have sex and not go to hell, your job is to make him happy.
09:27Your job is to please him. It's about him.
09:29And so that worked being married for a few years
09:37because Ethan was told the same thing, but that doesn't work for me anymore.
09:43But there is this one guy that I've been on a few dates with who isn't like that.
09:46He's very understanding.
09:48As I've continued to see this guy on the East Coast, we've been on a few dates and
09:54I think the feeling of safety that I feel when I'm with him has enabled me to
10:01be a little bit more maybe honest with myself about insecurities I feel like I have
10:06and lack of knowledge that I have about sex.
10:10I want to face that head on because I don't want to struggle with that
10:14years and years down the road.
10:18Oh, red silos.
10:22Look at the little cow heads poking out.
10:24Oh, I'm so excited.
10:26I'm going to milk a cow and then I'm going to hug a cow.
10:33We got a pretty good fire going.
10:35I haven't gotten into anything with my little sisters about my divorce with Olivia.
10:39I feel bad about it because it's like a bad example
10:42and because I don't want that to ever happen for any of them.
10:46Everyone knows what we're doing tonight, right?
10:48I'm scared.
10:49Tonight we are setting up for a little sex education pizza adult night.
10:54What is the most sensitive part on the vulva and what is its purpose?
10:59Can I have a, the vulva, vulv...
11:16Girls, let's go get sticks.
11:17Yeah.
11:21Anything you guys can get, throw in the center.
11:28Today we're at the farm and I'm just gonna hang out with my little sisters.
11:35We need paper.
11:38I miss doing this.
11:39Yeah.
11:40Maybe that'll get going.
11:41My favorite memories at the farm were climbing trees, riding horses, and even to this day,
11:49me and Olivia getting married.
11:50We got married at the farm.
11:56And that's still in my memory.
11:58Just such a beautiful day.
12:01I don't think I've talked to you guys about it very much,
12:04but you guys do know me and Olivia aren't together anymore.
12:08Yeah.
12:11And we are officially divorced, right?
12:17Yeah.
12:19I've talked to all of my family members,
12:21and I've talked to my wife, and I've talked to my kids.
12:24And I've talked to my wife, and I've talked to my kids.
12:26And I've talked to my kids, and I've talked to my wife, and I've talked to my kids.
12:29I've talked to all of my family about my divorce with Olivia.
12:34I haven't gotten into anything with my little sisters about it, really.
12:37I feel bad about it because it's like a bad example,
12:40as their older brother, with my marriage not working out.
12:43I have to be a better example in the future.
12:47I don't want that to ever happen for any of them.
12:52I already knew that Ethan was getting a divorce,
12:53but part of me wants to, like, talk about it and, like, know,
12:57like, why and what that looks like and, you know, just details.
13:01But he's not that open of a person, you know?
13:03He doesn't talk that much about, like, himself.
13:06So I just wanted to be quiet, just in case he wanted to say anything.
13:10It's not something you really want to talk about.
13:11It's like you want to know, but it sucks to talk about.
13:14We got a pretty good fire going for how wet everything is.
13:19I feel like I have learned an immense amount from my divorce with Olivia,
13:24but I feel like there's still so much to learn.
13:27Every day, I'm scratching the corners of my mind,
13:31looking for things that I can take into the future so I don't make the same mistakes.
13:37For example, cooking is a way to a man's heart.
13:42There are roles that a man plays that are different than a woman plays.
13:47When's the last time you cooked a meal?
13:50I was not saying in any way that every woman in the world
13:54should be in the kitchen cooking three meals a day.
13:56That's not at all what I meant.
14:00Back when we first got married, when Olivia used to cook dinner...
14:05It's a little crispy because I was distracted, but there you go.
14:07That's fine, thank you.
14:09I felt taken care of for, and thought of, and loved.
14:12In the same way I took care of her cars and anything that needed to be fixed, you know,
14:17it was just what we did for each other.
14:20But by the time I said that, she hadn't cooked a meal.
14:24In two years.
14:25When she stopped, it just felt like...
14:32She didn't really care.
14:34My comment that I made was not about cooking three meals a day.
14:38I was not feeling loved, and I was very angry.
14:42If I could go back, I would say it differently
14:45and have a discussion in a very different way
14:48than just losing it and everything spilling out at once.
14:51It never had to go this way
14:57To the heart of me
15:00I want a quarter horse so bad.
15:01I want a piece of land, a dog, and a quarter horse.
15:14Here's a piece of land.
15:16Thanks.
15:17Thanks.
15:26Being back at the farm reminds me of all the good things from my childhood
15:30and the fun times that I kind of forgot about
15:33in all the drama of the last couple of years.
15:36Sun's starting to come out.
15:37What do you guys want to do?
15:39Go for a walk?
15:39Yeah.
15:40A little smoky.
15:41I've done a lot of thinking about what the true problem was
15:47with my family, me and Olivia.
15:50I mean, Olivia was just consumed with all these problems she saw with
15:54and the way we were raised.
15:55And I think what it comes down to is
16:00Olivia hated the way that she grew up with her family
16:05and the problems that her family had.
16:06And at the end of the day,
16:09was rewriting everything for herself and what she believed.
16:14And she had to reject everything else.
16:17This is nice.
16:18Pretty.
16:22It was just all negative.
16:24Very, very, very negative.
16:25And it doesn't have to be that way at all.
16:28Where's Ethan?
16:30He's right here.
16:32Hi.
16:33I'm hi.
16:34How are you?
16:37I feel like my childhood was mostly good
16:39and I would totally move back to Cairo at some point.
16:43Oh, Ethan, look at the cow.
16:45Look at the cow.
16:47Oh, my gosh.
17:08Hi, baby.
17:10Oh, I love you.
17:10Look at that big one out there.
17:13Hi.
17:14For all the things about my childhood that were not great,
17:18being outside with animals was great.
17:22And I love when I get to revisit that.
17:24Isn't it so nice to be back on a farm?
17:26What's your name?
17:28You don't have a tag.
17:29You don't have a tag.
17:31What's your name?
17:32Find some friends.
17:34Lots of friends.
17:35Lots of friends.
17:37I'm Olivia.
17:38I'm Zach.
17:38Nice to meet you.
17:39I'm Lydia.
17:40OK.
17:40Nice to meet you.
17:41Nice to meet you.
17:42We grew up on a farm.
17:42We had cows and goats, and we used to milk cows and goats.
17:46And recently, we've been having a debate about who
17:48knows how to milk a cow better.
17:49OK.
17:50So we kind of had to settle that score.
17:52OK, well, we've got a setup right now.
17:59Look at the little baby.
18:00So this cow is a beautiful, easy cow to milk.
18:02She's already leaking.
18:03Yeah.
18:05What I would suggest is you get one of you on each side
18:08and go for it.
18:09OK.
18:09One of you on each side and go for it.
18:12I told farmer Zach that I grew up on a farm,
18:15and so did my sister.
18:16And he was kind of like, all right, yeah, come on out.
18:20Like, can help feed the animals, maybe
18:23have a little friend time together, but also rivalry.
18:29You ready, Lyd?
18:30Yep.
18:30May the best woman win.
18:32So on the two buckets, there's like a line
18:34inside of these buckets.
18:36It's whoever gets to the line on that bucket first.
18:39OK.
18:43You're OK.
18:44You're OK.
18:49It very much is like riding a bike.
18:51Lydia, remember when we were kids
18:53and we would just squirt it directly in our mouth?
18:55I do remember that.
18:57Are you hinting at something?
18:59Man, I kind of do miss these days just a little.
19:02OK, if we're milking to the line in the bucket, I'm over mine.
19:04That is mostly foam, ma'am.
19:06No, it's not.
19:07See?
19:07You cannot see a sticker on mine.
19:09You see that sticker on that one there?
19:11But mine is not mostly foam.
19:13Lydia, it's the same amount.
19:14No, it's not.
19:14The same water, the same cow.
19:16You know it's not.
19:17You know, your sister is kind of blowing you out of the water.
19:19Yeah.
19:20I'm also just connecting with the cow.
19:21I guess I just didn't care about competing
19:23once I started milking.
19:25I just connected with that cow.
19:27That's what I want to do.
19:28So was I.
19:28That's why she let down really fast for me.
19:30I just want to connect to the cow,
19:31and I don't want to rush it.
19:32And yeah, I don't want to rush the beautiful things in life.
19:35You definitely won, and I will give you that.
19:37I really don't care.
19:39I thank you, because I do.
19:41I know you do.
19:42This is unbelievable.
19:44I can't.
19:45Call us anytime.
19:48It's so nice as adults to be able to come back to a farm
19:50and reconnect with animals.
19:54I feel like in some ways, my life has always been defined
19:57by who I needed to be for other people,
20:00whether that was a good daughter or a good wife
20:05or a good sister-in-law slash stand-in mom at some points.
20:10And this is the first time in my life
20:12that I don't owe anyone else a role.
20:14I don't have to fit a narrative.
20:17I can just be me.
20:19And that's both exhilarating and very scary.
20:23Can I let her out of the headlock?
20:26Farm work is dirty and sweaty and hard,
20:30and it's also, at the same time, so fun.
20:33So 10 years of my life, very formative years of my life,
20:36I was milking goats and cows and mucking barns
20:40and baling hay and doing all of these things.
20:45I want to integrate it back into my life in my own way.
20:48I can be a career woman, and I can
20:50live in a city that makes me feel invigorated
20:52and stimulated, and I can still go out to the farm
20:55and milk a cow and get my feet dirty
20:57and remember the simple, beautiful things in life.
21:01I can have both.
21:02And I've never felt like I could have both before.
21:05This has been so much fun.
21:06Did you get your fill?
21:07Uh, no, but no.
21:09Come by any time.
21:11Come by any time.
21:12No problem.
21:17Oh, my god.
21:19You're going to drink that whole thing.
21:22Everything to her is new.
21:24She called me during the Super Bowl
21:25and asked me who Usher was.
21:27I promise you I'll share.
21:28Oh, thank you so much.
21:30I'm going to laugh.
21:32What else do you expect?
21:34I said, who's Usher?
21:52Sydney!
21:55Look at you, Strauby.
21:57I met Sydney through the studio that I record at.
22:01We really hit it off, and we've been
22:02very good friends ever since.
22:04OK, are you ready for your life to be changed?
22:07Yes.
22:08We're going to go and get the best cinnamon roll
22:11you've ever had in your life.
22:13Any time I'm in Tampa, I just go down and see her.
22:17We want a cinnamon roll, and she wants a coffee.
22:21Sydney's like an older sister.
22:22She gives good advice, and she's like,
22:24she's a good person for that.
22:28Oh, my gosh.
22:31Oh, this looks so good.
22:33You're going to drink that whole thing.
22:36I love teaching Mariah new things,
22:40taking her to do new experiences,
22:42because everything to her is new.
22:46She called me during the Super Bowl
22:47and asked me who Usher was.
22:49So she's like a little kid.
22:51I just love being around her, because she makes everything
22:53feel like it's the first time again.
22:55I promise you, I'll share.
22:57Oh, thank you so much.
22:59I'm going to lean over for some, and it's going to be good.
23:03She said that the artist was Usher.
23:08I didn't.
23:10I'm going to laugh.
23:12What else do you expect?
23:14I said, who's Usher?
23:16Have you heard of Beyonce?
23:18Yeah.
23:19Have you heard of Taylor Swift?
23:22Yes.
23:23Do you know who she's dating?
23:25No.
23:28Who's Doja Cat?
23:29That's one.
23:33This is my first one of the year.
23:35Oh.
23:40I love you.
23:43Wow.
23:44I'm going to have icing all over me now.
23:46That is so good.
23:48So how have you been?
23:49Good.
23:50Good.
23:50We haven't seen you in what?
23:52I don't know.
23:53Tanya just asked me.
23:54She was like, when's the last time you saw her?
23:55And I was like, no.
23:56We talk on the phone every day.
23:57I'm talking to her.
23:59So it doesn't feel like it's been that long, but it really has.
24:02So you moved back home.
24:04And who do you live with?
24:05With my dad.
24:07OK.
24:07Pretty much, he has a huge household to himself.
24:08Your roomie?
24:09My dad is my roommate.
24:11How is that?
24:14Don't get me started.
24:17You're living with your bestie.
24:19He is my bestie.
24:20Yes.
24:21So back in September, that was my last month here in Tampa,
24:25I was going through a hard time and just was like, I need to be near my family pretty much.
24:32Yeah.
24:32And that's normal.
24:34I mean, you just have to, you know, getting heartbroken is a life situation.
24:40Yeah.
24:40Everybody goes through it.
24:42Just an experience in my life that was so private and no one,
24:45but it was the most damaging one ever.
24:47It was a situation that you went through and God got you out of it.
24:52I was in a relationship and I've never experienced that much like
24:57heartbreak and pain before.
25:00I love somebody else more than I loved myself.
25:03Maybe that's a good thing because it gave it my all.
25:06The man that I thought I knew was everything I ever wanted and more
25:11and would never, ever do what he did.
25:15I don't understand any of this and that's confusing to me.
25:21The thing that really keeps me going is like,
25:23I know for a fact that one day I'm going to look back and see why this happened.
25:27It's just the season.
25:28So it's like just trusting that that that's one day where I'll be.
25:31Yeah.
25:31And nobody has perfect seasons in life all the time.
25:34So just navigating through the tough one.
25:36And the most important part is don't like, yes, you can realize that it
25:43sucks and feel bad for yourself every once in a while,
25:45but don't let that consume you and don't just fall into that like
25:49victim mentality or whatever.
25:53I ended things with this person, not because I didn't love him.
25:59I still deeply loved him.
26:02But there's a lot of things I don't know, a lot of missing pieces,
26:05a lot of questions I have that I just feel like I'll never get the answers to.
26:09And I have to come to terms with that.
26:11But it is hard.
26:15It is hard trying to move forward with just all these questions in my head constantly.
26:21Did you love me?
26:22Did you care about me?
26:24Did you say, did you mean any of like what parts of it were true?
26:29What parts of it weren't true?
26:32I guess where I'm at with relationships, I guess.
26:35I mean, I'm not looking for anything for sure.
26:38I had fully placed my identity and in that person.
26:43It's easy to do that.
26:44And then it's hard to realize.
26:46Who am I apart from this person?
26:48Like they become your everything.
26:49Just make sure that like no matter who you're with,
26:52that they're not knocking you down.
26:54And like you just kind of unconsciously don't even realize it.
26:57That's what the one of my songs, I'm deserving talks about.
27:01Yeah.
27:03I've almost finished my album.
27:05And we're going to be shooting a music video soon.
27:09And I want as many of my family members that want to participate.
27:14I want them to participate.
27:16When I'm writing a lot of music, I want to show you.
27:19Make an album and get the air conditioned in your car.
27:22That would be a good idea.
27:29So we're going to be starting with an anatomy pop quiz.
27:33Who can tell me where the vagina is located on the vulva?
27:36Who can show me on the puppet?
27:38In between here.
27:40Where? You want to open it up?
27:41Oh my God, it opened.
27:57Let's go.
28:01Will's back in town.
28:02Will and I got really close when we were both living in LA.
28:05Will's one of the friends that I can talk to literally about anything.
28:11Will has met my girlfriend.
28:13And the first time he met her, Veronica and I were in like a little argument.
28:20Maybe a little bigger than a little.
28:21And then you're like, that's over with.
28:26Never happened again.
28:28Will, did you know that was a small one?
28:33What have you been doing?
28:35Um, you know, I got a job at the health care union.
28:38It's a lot tougher, but it's going well.
28:40I don't know. How about you though?
28:43What about you and your girlfriend?
28:48My girlfriend and I have had ups and downs.
28:53Yeah, so every relationship has them though.
28:56You're not alone there.
28:58My life has definitely changed a lot recently.
29:01Tied down.
29:03Not a untieable knot yet.
29:05I haven't tied the knot, you know what I'm saying?
29:09It's a lot of work.
29:11Because in the beginning, everything's bliss, you know?
29:14And when those first arguments come, then it's a little rocky.
29:19Like, I love her and I want to be with her.
29:23But it's a big learning curve.
29:26What's kind of been creating friction for you guys,
29:28like recently or over the past couple months?
29:30There's times where, like, I'll go out of town
29:33and my girlfriend will feel like I've abandoned her.
29:37Right.
29:38I don't see how she feels that way.
29:39Do you see where she's coming from or no?
29:41Not, I mean, maybe I don't talk to her as much
29:44because I'm hanging out with my family, doing stuff up there.
29:47Right.
29:47But I still call her like three times a day.
29:54Are you good?
29:57That's what Will suggests.
30:00Yeah.
30:03It's kind of funny because I'm the only person in my entire family
30:07that's, or at least the only guy that's in a relationship with my family.
30:11And of a lot of my friends, now I'm the only one that's in a relationship.
30:14So either I'm, I think I'm in the lead and you guys just got to catch up.
30:21But there are definitely some things I miss about, you know, being a little more free.
30:27What about your dad? Talk to him about it at all?
30:29I talked to him a little bit.
30:30His advice was, you just got to figure out if you're going to commit.
30:34Before he said that, I was kind of like, I have committed.
30:36What does commitment look like for you?
30:37Is it the move? Is it a ring?
30:39Like, yeah, I think I know the way my dad said it.
30:41He means a ring.
30:43So what are you thinking about that?
30:47I go back and forth.
30:50Before I settled down with Veronica,
30:53my friends would have called me, you know, a bit of a player.
30:55You know, I used to.
30:59I used to explore.
31:01It's a natural thing.
31:03And when I think about it, you know, I'm only 22.
31:05I am young.
31:07I am, you know, very adventurous and very free spirited.
31:11But she's the first girl that's meant this much to me.
31:15She is amazing.
31:19So, you know, there's pressure to like,
31:22and there's a lot running through my mind sometimes.
31:25It's like, am I making the right choice?
31:27Take it at your own speed.
31:29Yeah, I'm just, I'm just learning.
31:30Yeah, life is, life is interesting.
31:34Cheers to that.
31:50I don't have enough wine glasses,
31:51so I'm just going to offer people wine out of glasses.
31:54Yeah, that's fine.
31:55Can I give you one of the not so fun?
31:57Yeah, absolutely.
32:00Tonight we are setting up for a little sex education pizza adult night.
32:06Do you want more?
32:06A little bit of wine, hunks of sex, I'd go down a little bit better.
32:10Okay.
32:12Okay, as long as that's the only thing going down.
32:16As I've continued to see this guy on the East Coast,
32:20I've realized how little I know about sex.
32:24And I want to change that.
32:26There's a lot of ways I could educate myself.
32:30I could check out a book from the library and read a book.
32:32I could Google anything,
32:33or I could also just throw a little fun party.
32:35You know, sometimes the awkward things just need to be said.
32:38And I have the perfect friends to be awkward with.
32:42You want to dive in?
32:42Or should I eat it all?
32:44No, Kapisha, you're the delivery guy.
32:46You don't eat it.
32:47I'm the one who's supposed to eat this pizza, bro.
32:51Hello.
32:52Hello, everybody.
32:53Your hair looks so good.
32:55Thank you so much.
32:56Of course.
32:56Mariah and I met Hayden and Kapisha when we visited Micah in LA.
33:01All right, you guys ready?
33:04Well, that's you.
33:08It's really good.
33:10And when I moved out here, I reconnected with them.
33:13Okay, so Micah, do you guys still talk to him or no?
33:16I haven't heard from him in like ages.
33:19Me either.
33:20Fair enough.
33:21That's a good point.
33:23Everyone knows what we're doing tonight, right?
33:25I'm scared.
33:28Hi.
33:31Hi, my name is Jocelyn, and I'm a sexual empowerment coach and sex educator.
33:35So this evening with Olivia, Lydia, and her friends, I've planned a really fun sex workshop
33:40where we're going to be opening up a conversation around sexual anatomy and sexual preferences.
33:45All right.
33:49I feel like this is a magic bag.
33:51You're going to keep pulling stuff out that we're not expecting.
33:53Exactly.
33:55As I see Jocelyn unpacking her bag and taking everything out, I'm just like,
34:00is this for like a look kind of experience?
34:03Like you look at it?
34:04Or is this like a hands-on experience?
34:21So I just kind of want to go around and ask like,
34:25what do you want to get out of today's workshop?
34:28So who would like to go first?
34:30Hedden.
34:31No, I was going to say you.
34:34I can go first since I'm, it was my idea to do this.
34:38It's your fault.
34:39Kidding, kidding, kidding.
34:40Very excited.
34:41In like, in this period of my life, I'm newly divorced.
34:44I was talking to my sister a lot recently how we grew up in a home that just,
34:47sex was a taboo subject and didn't talk about it.
34:50Didn't know anything when I got married.
34:52And now I'm like out and dating again.
34:54And it's been something that's cropped up a lot in my life of like,
34:57oh, I still have residual shame.
34:59I think I didn't know what I didn't know prior to dating this guy on the East coast.
35:04And then seeing how comfortable he is with his sexuality and exploring it and having fun
35:11and how important it is to him in his life and how important it is to him in a partner.
35:15That's when I started to realize how many hangups I had.
35:18We are very physically compatible and I want to explore that a little bit.
35:23But there've been some moments when I would react and be like, oh no,
35:27I don't want to do that.
35:28Or like, oh, that doesn't, I don't know how to do that.
35:30So then that feels scary.
35:32Like, I don't know how to say what I like.
35:33I don't really know what I like.
35:35I am scared of looking dumb in front of someone who's a lot more experienced.
35:38All right, so who else?
35:39What do you want to get out of tonight?
35:40How are you feeling about tonight?
35:42Hidden.
35:42Go hidden.
35:43Go hidden.
35:44I, um, increase, um, my maturity in the matter.
35:49Amazing.
35:50I love that.
35:50I laughed when I saw the dildo.
35:55And you know, like maybe after this I'll see it and I'll be like, good.
35:59An old friend.
36:03I am actually very impressed by Hayden and Amanda
36:07coming to this party together, but then also learning together and laughing together.
36:12And I want that kind of like camaraderie and understanding and fun in a relationship.
36:19So we're going to be starting with an anatomy pop quiz.
36:23Oh, I know this.
36:24Okay, okay.
36:27All right, so we're going to start with female anatomy.
36:29This is my, not my vulva, but this is my vulva, my vulva puppet.
36:33Okay.
36:35Okay, great.
36:36So who can tell me what is the most sensitive part on the vulva and what is its purpose?
36:42Hayden.
36:43Um, can I have a, the vulva, the vulva is, is the whole thing.
36:52It's the clitoris.
36:53Yes, that is the clitoris.
36:55And what is its purpose?
36:57I have no idea.
36:59All right, cool.
37:00Well, you get a prize for saying the clitoris.
37:02That was true.
37:03It's like chocolate.
37:04Awesome.
37:05Okay, so who, so your hand was up too, right?
37:07So do you know what the clitoris' purpose is?
37:12Arouse it?
37:13More specifically.
37:15Arouse a specific person?
37:18Arouse what person?
37:21The person who has the clitoris?
37:22Yes.
37:25I don't think that Kapish knew that it was going to be this deep.
37:29Sex is a very taboo, like a very weird topic to talk about.
37:35And that's why I feel like Kapish was very uncomfortable today.
37:40But.
37:41Yeah, was he?
37:42How uncomfortable was he?
37:43I feel like he was very uncomfortable.
37:46Yeah.
37:49Do you think you could help him?
37:51Oh my God.
37:54Who can tell me where the vagina is located on the vulva?
37:57Who can show me on the puppet?
38:00In between here.
38:01Where? You want to open it up?
38:02Oh my God, it opened.
38:05Fun fact, you know when people get like their clitoris pierced?
38:08Yeah.
38:08It's not pierced on their clitoris, they pierce their clitoral hood.
38:12And the clitoral hood is the piece of tissue that's above the clitoris.
38:15So it doesn't hurt.
38:16Like if you pierce the clitoris, that would really hurt.
38:20There's a hoodie over the clitoris.
38:28And I didn't know that.
38:30And I'm glad I do, you know?
38:32Now you know where to look, under the hood.
38:33Yeah, you check under the hood, make sure everything is running okay.
38:36Yeah, exactly.
38:37See if they need an oil change, you know?
38:39Yeah.
38:40And then, you know?
38:42Just click sub though.
38:43Send them on their way.
38:46All right, what currently holds you back from being fully present
38:52and engaging in your sexual expression?
38:54The lack of men.
38:55No, I'm just kidding.
39:01I think honestly, like communication.
39:04After being taught for so long that the woman is made for the man,
39:08like there's this like fear of expressing needs.
39:11And I am proud to say that I am definitely working on that
39:14and experiences and experimenting around.
39:18And I think that's very important.
39:19How many of you have ever been in a situation
39:21where like you've shared something with someone sexually
39:24and they've kind of like freaked out on you?
39:27How did that feel?
39:31Unnecessary.
39:32That's a good word.
39:33Like why?
39:34Especially like in a monogamous relationship.
39:36You're like, wait, but you're the person I chose to be with
39:38and explore things with.
39:40And if you're not open to that, what do I do?
39:42Like total recalibration.
39:43I'm stuck.
39:44You know, it's actually one of the biggest things
39:46that I work with like with couples is that they fall in love.
39:49They're like so happy.
39:51Like in the beginning, they talk about finances
39:53and family and education and life dreams.
39:56But sex never gets brought up.
39:58So then they're in this long-term relationship
40:01and they're unhappy because they never address
40:02the compatibility piece around sex.
40:05Sexual compatibility is so important.
40:07Which is funny because if you bring it up,
40:09people will say like, oh, that's kind of shallow.
40:10But it's not shallow at all
40:12if it's such a big part of your life.
40:14No, because it's like, okay, if that piece isn't working,
40:16then like we need to talk about it, right?
40:19I think I am starting to feel less shameful about sex in general.
40:24And I think this guy I've been seeing
40:26has greatly contributed to that.
40:28Post-divorce, he's the only person
40:30that I have like gone on a date with
40:33that I've explained my background more fully.
40:36He's very encouraging and supportive.
40:38And to have someone meet me and be like, that's okay.
40:41Like I'll meet you right there.
40:43I think that gives me a lot of confidence to,
40:47yeah, I guess, own my sexuality more
40:49and become more educated
40:50and not feel so ashamed moving forward.
40:53Thank you so much for having me.
40:55Did you guys enjoy it?
40:56Did you guys have a good time?
40:57Yeah, okay, great.
40:58Does the guy you're seeing, does he have a name?
41:02The guy that I'm seeing, does he have a name?
41:06Yes.
41:07What's his name?
41:07His name is Brendan.
41:09Do you plan on seeing this Brendan again?
41:12I think I'll see this Brendan again.
41:15We've been on a few dates
41:16and obviously we're long-distance partners.
41:20And obviously we're long-distance right now
41:23and not exclusive, but I wouldn't mind if we were.
41:28All right, good night, y'all.
41:33Let's keep those questions going.
41:35Let's do it.
41:40Hello, hello.
41:41We're in Tampa at the rental that Mariah got
41:45for the whole family to help her make her music video.
41:49It's been a while since Barry and I slept under the same roof.
41:52You can have that room.
41:53You can stay with me.
41:55If fights break out, I'll just sit back and enjoy the show.
42:02All right, welcome to speed dating with The Next Fun Thing.
42:04I'm super excited you guys are here.
42:06I know that she's dating somebody now that she's serious about,
42:09but I feel like there's so much that life has to offer.
42:12There's a lot to experience when you're single
42:13and not attached to somebody.
42:15If you had one night with me, what would you want to do?
42:20These songs are birthed out of the pain she went through with that guy.
42:26I have never met a master deceiver like that before.
42:30I just had to get up and go because I didn't want to be there for them.