Competition and stress in student life || Acharya Prashant, at ICT-Mumbai (2022)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...  ~~~~~  Video Information: 18.10.2022, ICT - Mumbai, Mumbai  Context: ~ How does stress effect our lives? ~ How to deal with stress? ~ Why is student life so stressful? ~ What should I do in a stressful situation? ~ How to not be jealous of others? ~ Is being competitive good?  Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Acharyaji Pranams. There are two facets that I would just like to discuss regarding students.

00:10One is the increasing stress which affects their performance and we are seeing that happening

00:16over a period of years and the second is the extensive competition which affects their

00:22camaraderie which is even more dangerous because this is the period of life where they need

00:27to build up friendships and at least I have been witnessing that it affects that.

00:37What is it that gives you stress? How many of you feel stressed let's say at least a

00:41couple of times in the week? Quite a few, alright. What is it you feel stressed about?

01:00Just speak up, I am hearing, without the mic just speak up. What is it you feel stressed

01:06about? GPA, deadlines, assignments, getting jobs, placements, train travels, commuting

01:21to and from the camp and performance in terms of grades. So that's okay. Not much has changed.

01:42Just the train part was not there, but everything else we too experienced. See, it's alright

02:02to have a particular level of stress. It keeps you disciplined. The problem is when stress

02:10becomes everything for you, when you lose sight of joy, of freedom, of attainment and

02:24start feeling overwhelmed by stress. Stress is okay. You must learn to crack jokes when

02:36stressed and those jokes will have a special flavor. There is tension in the mind and I turn

02:46my own tension into a joke on myself. So right now there is so much tension within me. Some

03:06kind of sponty PJ, close to the breaking point, something on the Young's modulus, stress and

03:18strain. Turn your own situation into a joke. It's okay. There is nobody who can live without

03:30stress and it is not even desirable that one lives with zero stress. You should have however,

03:42things in life that are bigger than your stress. You must know the right and relative place of

03:52everything. There is something you feel stressed about. The stress is alright, but then there are

04:04far more important things in life. Life and existence itself is more important than anything

04:13in life. So before I came here, I was at IIT Bombay. From there I went and checked into a

04:29hotel and then came here and yes, time pressure was there definitely. And this was actually

04:43scheduled at 5 p.m. Originally the time I was supposed to be here was 5 and then I was told

04:50a little later 5.30 then 5.45 and things happened. So that stress was there. You are not the only

04:59one who feels stressed coming to your institute. Even I experienced that tension coming to your

05:07institute. There is something special here. It's just that you probably take the train and I was

05:18in another vehicle and I was wondering, will I be here in time? Will the students be kept

05:26waiting for me? Bad thing. That's okay. How did I cope with the stress? My fellow passengers will

05:38tell you, I fell asleep. And then somebody woke me up. Sir, two more minutes, we are entering the

05:49campus. I said, okay. Who wants to live with stress? There are more useful things to do.

05:58There are better ways to utilize your time. Sleeping was a good way to utilize my time.

06:04Otherwise what's the point in just staring at the bumper and the number plates of the

06:12vehicle in front of you? And that's what you do in Mumbai all the time. If the eyes are open,

06:20all they'll see is the bumpers, the number plates and the chaos on the streets. Sleep.

06:30I'm not saying you must start sleeping. I deal in a lot of symbolism, so bear with me.

06:44If you deal rightly with stress, stress is a friend. It crystallizes something within you.

06:57It makes you stronger. But if you do not know the right place of stress in life,

07:07then stress becomes threatening. It becomes anti-life to the extent that it can lead to

07:28physical diseases and it reduces your ability to work, to concentrate, to think, to be meditative.

07:40All that will suffer. Next time you are in a stressful position or period, try to take it

07:54lightly. Try to turn it into a joke. Try to laugh at yourself. Try to remember all the previous

08:03instances when you were stressed out. What happened to those instances? They passed, right?

08:10So as the Sufis say, this too shall pass. I was stressed out for exactly the same reason last

08:22Sunday. What happened to all that stress? What happened to that episode? It passed. So this

08:31period too should not be too big on me. This too shall pass. Right? Competitiveness too is the same

08:44thing, much the same thing. Even I have been highly competitive. I think I still am. When I'm

08:54playing with someone, I do keep an eye on the scoreboard. When I'm playing with someone and

09:04I'm lagging, trailing, being defeated, I want to win. Right? Competitiveness should be used to bring

09:16out the best in you. The problem is when competitiveness brings out the worst in you.

09:25If you find yourself lagging behind someone, ask yourself, is it the best that I can be or is there

09:40hidden potential that I am not choosing to reveal, to manifest, to dig out? And let me assure each one

09:54of you, you are more powerful, beautiful and greater than you can ever imagine. But all that

10:08remains hidden within just as an unexpressed potential. You know what, most people die

10:19carrying that potential within without ever seeing it expressed. They do not even know

10:31what they were capable of and they die. Don't let that happen to you. When challenged,

10:46when defeated, when cornered, just remember that whatever is the level of your work,

10:56your performance, you can be far better than that. It depends on how much you want to put

11:03into it. It depends on your choice to commit yourself more to the thing you want to excel in.

11:12It depends on your choice to withdraw your inner resources from all the wasteful miscellaneous

11:20places and concentrate those resources on the one thing that matters. Are you getting it?

11:31This might cost me 200 rupees. And I might have 2000 rupees. But what if I have committed 500 to

11:47this, 1000 to that, 100 to this, 50 to that, this, this, this and I am left with just 10 rupees. And

11:52when this comes up as a challenge, as an opportunity, requiring rupees 200,

12:01what do I have to offer? Rupees? Rupees? We have inert guesses here or what? No reaction. How much

12:16do I have to offer? 10 rupees. How much do I have? 2000. What have I done with the 2000 that I have?

12:27I have squandered it here and there. I have so much. I have 10 times more than what it requires

12:37to win this one. But still I am being defeated. Why am I being defeated? Am I really so poor? No,

12:45I am not poor. I am just unwise. I am making bad choices. I am putting my money where it

12:53not really is needed or useful. How do I win this challenge? Withdraw my resources from the

13:05various places. Withdraw and concentrate. Or I could just get into a wild and petty negotiation

13:18with this one. You are not worth 200. Or I could say I want to break this into 20 pieces. You say

13:30this is 200. Out of the 20 pieces, each one would be rupees 10. And then I will be victorious because

13:4010 is what I have. And that's the worst that comes out of you when you are competitive. Instead of

13:50remembering your potential and concentrating your resources, you start destroying the challenger,

14:03the opponent, the competitor. That's what most people do usually. They don't want to remember

14:11that their worth is far greater than 10 rupees, that they can rise to 200 or 2000 from their

14:18current level of 10. They don't want to do that because that would involve making choices, that

14:25would involve withdrawing effort and attention from useless places. They don't do that. Instead

14:33they pull the competitor down. They say this one is competing with me. I will destroy it into 10

14:39pieces. Is that worth it? How has that helped you? You began at 10 and you remained at 10. Have you

14:53risen? Have you become richer? Have you become better? No. Instead you have consoled yourself

15:00with a petty victory. How has the victory come about? By attacking your opponent. Don't attack

15:14your opponent. Become greater than your opponent. And you can become greater than everything and

15:23everybody possible. It is in you. You just have to forget, you have to un-remember that you are

15:37small and petty and helpless and powerless. This feeling has gotten too deeply into us. Oh but I

15:48am a little person. But sir how will I fight the world? All I am is a little girl. How is it

15:55possible for me to tackle challenges? I was never very brilliant academically. I never secured even

16:0580% and here again I am trailing in my class and I am 5 feet 3 and you are telling me I am a world

16:16beater? Yes you are. Potentially. That potential in Vedanta is referred to as Anantata. What does

16:32that mean? Infinity. Your potential stops nowhere. At no point can a limit be set to your potential.

16:47You insult yourself, you degrade yourself when you limit yourself in any way. And one sure shot

17:05way of limiting yourself is by thinking of the opponent as great or very superior. That's the

17:17wrong kind of competitiveness. When your opponent beats you, ask yourself, how did I play so badly?

17:28When he hits a great shot, my coach once told me, when your opponent hits a great shot, that

17:37wasn't squash. Ask yourself, how did I allow him a loose ball? It's not that he has played a great

17:45shot. I gave him the opportunity to play a great shot. Had I not given him a loose ball, he wouldn't

17:52have been able to play a great shot. Don't tell yourself, oh my god, I have a ferocious opponent.

17:59I am surely going to be defeated. That's not the thing to be said. Yes, your shot is indeed great.

18:08Alright. I admire that. I concede you played a wonderful shot. But before you played that great

18:18shot, something else happened. What was that? I offered you an easy ball. I'm not going to do that.

18:27I'm not going to do that. That's real competitiveness. Real competitiveness introspects.

18:38Real competitiveness looks at oneself and tries to raise the bar within.

18:47Getting it?

18:51Pranam Acharya. Myself Snehal Kadam and I'm pursuing M.Tech at ICT Mumbai.

18:56And I'm very much thankful to you that you joined us. And already we have sorted so many questions.

19:03And that's based on the stress level. And I have the same question based on the stress level.

19:11That we are at the student level. We are facing educational problems. And at the same time,

19:18we have to deal with our personal stress. And at the moment, sometimes we can't deal with it

19:25very confidently. This tackles very badly on us. And we don't have to share our solid very

19:34sincerely or nicely. And at the moment, we are feeling like we can't do it after this. We can't

19:41forward it properly. And it will tackle our potential even though you have that much of

19:48strength. But it will affect very badly. So how can we deal with that?

19:55How is this question different from the previous one about stress?

20:04Yes. Because sometimes some situations come at the same time. Like overcome at the same time

20:11everywhere. Like the educational stress, personal stress. And like for example, some people are

20:18attempting suicides. And even though they have so much potential in that and they are

20:24leading their life. It might be happening in some people, very rare people or almost mostly.

20:31We can consider it like that. There are two things in it. One,

20:37prioritize. Second, disregard. All the material things that come to you,

20:46they are to be kept in one bracket. Within that bracket, you must prioritize.

20:56You must know that not all things are equally important. So if too many things

21:00are upon you in one particular instance, you can't tackle, you can't deal with all of them at once.

21:11Right? Keep a few things for tomorrow. This can wait. And before that can wait, try not

21:22to be in that situation where you have to suddenly deal with four deadlines at once.

21:32If you know that you have four assignments in the academic field plus two personal

21:39commitments all on the same date, why must you wait till that date?

21:50And if by chance it so happens that everything comes together,

21:53then prioritize. You'll have to leave something behind. That's the first thing. When I said

21:58prioritize, the second thing is all of these are all within one bracket. There is something

22:06far more important outside that bracket. One has to learn to have a healthy disregard for

22:15everything worldly. When worldly affairs and commitments and obligations start getting too

22:24much on you, then you have to suddenly snap your cord with the world and say, all right,

22:33no more stress beyond this point. Till this point it is okay. I'm trying, I'm fighting,

22:42but I cannot give all these things more importance than they really deserve.

22:51The greatest importance must be for your existence itself. If something becomes so important to you

23:01that it starts demeaning your existence, then how can that thing be good and important?

23:09Something is important only if it adds value to you. If these things that are important,

23:16that you call as important, instead of adding value to you are actually becoming a burden on you

23:22and causing you to get shattered internally, then they are certainly not important.

23:29So you have to draw a boundary somewhere and say, stress is good, giving importance to something is

23:37good, running after deadlines is good, but nothing beyond this point. Beyond this point, if I take

23:44the world too seriously, then I'm compromising on my own self. So that is what I'm calling as

23:51a healthy disregard. One, prioritize. Second, learn to disregard.

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