No Females Allowed Records: On Surviving An Abusive Mother [[ Explicit ]]
Transcript
00:00This is No Females Allowed Podcast.
00:07Today I'm going to talk about surviving an abusive mother.
00:12I just wrote a Terry First Hand story about it, which is fiction, but I'm going to tell
00:16y'all the real story right now.
00:22So if you sitting in your house and you listening to this podcast, you might want to go and
00:26get some popcorn.
00:28Because I'm about to explain to you what it's like surviving an evil, cruel, abusive
00:34mother.
00:37First of all, I have an abusive mother.
00:41My mother spies on me.
00:43I live in the house with my mother.
00:47All y'all need to know that.
00:50Sometimes I live on the streets.
00:52I sleep in my car.
00:53I live in a tent.
00:55But for the most part, I'm staying with my mother.
00:58I don't like calling her a mother.
00:59Just calling her mom makes me feel disgusted.
01:04Calling somebody that fake a mother feels violated.
01:09But for the sake of humanity, I'm going to call her mother.
01:13Just for the sake of the internet and having humanity and not getting banned, I'm going
01:18to call her that.
01:20She spies on me.
01:22It's like having a nanny cam in my room and I'm 30 something years old.
01:28Can you imagine living in the house with your mom and they spying on you?
01:34Like you're scared to take off your clothes.
01:36You're scared to even breathe.
01:38You're scared to have a conversation on the phone.
01:40You're scared to do anything because you're always being watched by somebody who's never
01:44at work.
01:46Do you know what that feels like?
01:48It feels sickening, okay?
01:50I go through that every day.
01:53I've been going through this for a long time.
01:56I've been trying to run away and get rich and become a millionaire and live on my own,
02:01but I just keep getting unallied by these people all day long.
02:11It's like they're killing me over and over and over and over and over.
02:18It sucks.
02:19It's like they're just killing me while I'm alive.
02:26I think I wrote a story a long time ago about having an anti-spy device and running it through
02:36the house and the hotel rooms and the thought cabins and stuff that I was staying in to
02:42make sure nobody's spying on me.
02:45In the story, that time I had told my audience that I ran the anti-spy device in my room
02:53and it went off.
02:56Then I threw that anti-spy device in the trash and I bought another one and that one went
03:01off too.
03:02Then I threw that anti-spy device in the trash and then I bought another one and then that
03:06went off too.
03:08I told my audience that a long, long time ago, like two or three years ago, and that's
03:13still going on now.
03:15I told the audience that I had called a private investigator because I'm all bugged out and
03:20freaked out by how many cameras and wires people be wearing when they snitching to the
03:25cops.
03:26They wear a lot of wires and they plant a lot of devices and they plant a lot of hidden
03:30cameras and stuff so they can catch somebody in the act.
03:33If somebody was to go around the city and say that I'm a prostitute, people might try
03:38to plant a camera so they can see if I'm prostituting or not, you know what I'm saying?
03:42Or if somebody spread a rumor and say that I'm a pedo or something, that's completely
03:47false.
03:48Somebody might try to plant a camera on me so they can have an excuse to spy on me and
03:52they know that I don't do stuff that nasty.
03:56So that's what people do to me.
03:58I called the private investigator and he said that he was going to charge me $400 to search
04:10each room.
04:11I was like, what?
04:12$400?
04:13I didn't have $400 for him to search each room.
04:15So I just continued using my anti-spy device and it went off every time.
04:19So I never got a chance to invite a private investigator over.
04:23First of all, if I'm living in a house with an abusive person, how am I going to call
04:28a private investigator?
04:30An abusive person is not going to allow a private investigator into their home.
04:39So how would I ever get a private investigator over here to see if I'm being bugged out or
04:44not?
04:45That's all I want to know, if I'm being bugged out.
04:47I want the private investigator to search for hidden cameras and eavesdropping devices
04:52and tapping devices on my phone and all that type of stuff.
04:56That's what they're supposed to be looking for.
04:58I'm not snitching on anyone.
05:00I'm not snitching on my fake ass mom.
05:04I'm just trying to see if I'm being spied on to that level.
05:08That's all.
05:12I've been trying to get a private investigator to search my room for like three or four years
05:20and I've never been able to get one over here.
05:23So that's kind of bothering me.
05:27And I'm telling y'all where I'm at because I ain't afraid of y'all niggas.
05:33I ain't afraid of y'all niggas.
05:37If you unallow me, then you'll put me out of my misery.
05:45People are probably wondering why I'm sitting up here saying all this to the internet.
05:50I don't care.
05:52I've heard people say stuff to the internet.
05:54They just say, what's the problem?
05:59My mother forces religion on me.
06:03That's another thing she does.
06:05That's wrong.
06:08You shouldn't force religion on people.
06:10I'm not a Christian.
06:12I've been saying this for so many years it's not even funny.
06:16I'm not a Christian.
06:18I do not believe in God.
06:21And just because you believe in God, it does not make you a better person than me.
06:28I've seen a lot of celebrities believe in God and regular people believe in God.
06:33And they still end up in jail for being a predator or a faggot.
06:38So what does God have to do with anything?
06:42The Bible says that people are going to be abusive.
06:46If people are going to be abusive anyway, what's the purpose of believing in God?
06:52The Bible says that people are going to be greedy and jealous and abusive and all that.
06:57So if they're going to be that way, what do I need God for?
07:02What do I need God for if they're going to continue to be that way?
07:10My mother told me I'm not allowed to burn candles in the house.
07:13And I snitched on myself when I posted a video on my Instagram of burning candles in her house.
07:22And she found out and told me that I need to put the candles out or get out.
07:31That's sickening as a bitch.
07:34I'm 30-something years old.
07:35Shouldn't nobody always be having to tell me what to do.
07:38That's gay.
07:39That's stinky.
07:41Having a woman tell me what to do at 30-something years old feels gay as hell.
07:47That don't feel natural.
07:50That don't feel natural.
07:52And then she started picking on my old man and started saying,
07:57who was that nigga in the picture and all this type of stuff.
08:00What the fuck does that have to do with you?
08:07What the hell does a nigga in a picture and me burning a candle have to do with you?
08:12I'm a celibate woman.
08:15I don't fornicate.
08:18I have fornicated before this year, but I don't really do it like that.
08:24I'm a celibate person.
08:26So why would somebody be coming at me about stuff that petty?
08:35Why is somebody on me about a candle still?
08:40People was bullying me over a candle back in 2019.
08:47Why is they still bullying me over a candle now?
08:53When I was in that hotel in Washington, D.C. at the Bay's Inn back in 2021,
09:00and that lady that worked at the front desk was complaining about the candles,
09:04just like my mother.
09:06Another mother acting the same way.
09:09That shit nasty.
09:11Everywhere I go, these little women bitching about some candles being burned on their property.
09:15Please, stop.
09:20That is so petty.
09:22You should be glad that somebody is celibate.
09:25If you are somebody's mother, you should be glad that they celibate
09:30and talking to somebody that's not taking their innocence and stuff like that.
09:36Not worried about somebody burning a candle.
09:40I'm sick of these women.
09:42That's why I don't allow women in my presence.
09:45It's women like my mother is the reason why I don't invite women in my presence.
09:50They're too controlling.
09:52I'm a grown woman.
09:54I don't want some woman controlling me.
09:56I'm a grown woman.
09:58I don't want some woman controlling me.
10:00That's emotional incest.
10:02Please, stop.
10:03It feels disgusting.
10:07Every time my mother does something to me, I go run somewhere like a shelter
10:11or start calling 2-1-1 and asking them if they have space for a bed.
10:15Then when I get to those programs, those women in there are acting like my mother.
10:21That's nasty, bro.
10:23That is no way to live, bro.
10:25That is no way to fucking live.
10:28That is not right.
10:31Another thing my mother do is lies on me.
10:34She try to make me look like I'm worse than I really am.
10:40She'll act like I'm worshiping the devil and stuff like this.
10:43I do not worship the devil.
10:45Yes, I write songs about the devil.
10:50I say it in my song that I have to pray to the devil.
10:54How many times on The Rough Outdoors, I wrote a song about praying to the devil.
10:59But I don't really worship the devil to the extreme that somebody is trying to make it out to be.
11:05Like I'm some sick, twisted fuck that's into everything.
11:09My mother looks at me like I'm into everything.
11:12That's bitch.
11:13Why the hell would I want a mother that's looking that far down on me?
11:17That is absolutely disgusting.
11:20Why would I want a mother that's looking that far down on me?
11:28You think I'm into everything.
11:30You running around here telling me, acting like I worship the devil and stuff like that.
11:35Man, get out of here.
11:37Another thing she does, she snitches on me.
11:42She's called the police on me so many times and she's always encouraging me to call the police.
11:46I don't call the police.
11:50I don't call the police for anything.
11:53If I call the police, they're going to tell me that whoever is bothering me has a right to do it.
12:01I don't call the police.
12:04Calling the police is like calling another mother.
12:09It's like calling another cult leader or a Christian or a cult person that's trying to drag me down.
12:19Into a cult that I can't get out of.
12:22That's all they're trying to do.
12:25They want to drag me into the nastiest and be as sickening and stinky as possible towards me.
12:33They want to treat me bad forever.
12:35They don't ever want to stop degrading me and bullying me and ratting me out.
12:41They don't ever want to stop.
12:46Can you imagine what it's like being around a snitch?
12:49You're snitching your own mom.
12:52I've seen stories on the TV.
12:58I've seen stories on the TV where niggas going to jail behind they mom.
13:07They confess something to their mother and then their mother tells the cops that their kid did that.
13:13That's stupid as fuck.
13:15I don't tell my mom anything anymore.
13:19She is nosy.
13:20She inviolates my privacy and knows stuff that she shouldn't know.
13:25I never told her.
13:27I don't sit down with my mother and talk about my personal problems.
13:30This conversation I'm having with the internet right now, I wouldn't have it with my mother.
13:36I can't sit down and tell my mother how my day went or anything.
13:41I don't have that kind of mother.
13:44So when I try to sit down and start talking to my mother, she starts bullying me and charging at me and coming for me.
13:50Because she doesn't like me.
13:55She frames me for stuff I didn't do.
13:57Another thing she does, she frames me for stuff I didn't do.
14:00She makes me look like I assaulted her.
14:03That's not true.
14:04That's disgusting as fuck.
14:05I didn't lay a finger on my mother.
14:10People running around here think I'm that gay and lame.
14:15For no reason.
14:18For absolutely no reason.
14:20Another thing she does, she takes everybody's side but mine.
14:24I can't talk to my mother about my personal problems.
14:28For example, if I sat down with my mother and said,
14:34Mom, so and so just beat me up earlier today.
14:38That's why my eye is black.
14:42What you mean that's why your eye is black?
14:45You should have never went around that person.
14:48Why you didn't stay in the house?
14:50Why you going around people like that?
14:52You ain't have no business going around people like that anyway.
14:56What you mean why your eye is black?
14:58You should have turned to Jesus.
15:00If you turned to Jesus, your eye wouldn't be black.
15:05I don't want to hear stuff like that.
15:08I just don't.
15:10I'm not interested in hearing all that.
15:13So I keep my problems to myself.
15:14If somebody was to knock my eye out and turn it black today,
15:18I wouldn't sit down and tell my mother about it.
15:20Because that wouldn't be a wise idea.
15:22That's stupid.
15:24That's a stupid idea.
15:28Another thing my mother does to me is isolate me.
15:32Every time I used to tell her back in the day
15:35that I wanted to go somewhere and do something,
15:37she would isolate me.
15:41How are they living?
15:43Are they living for Christ?
15:45If they're not living for Christ,
15:47then you don't need to be around them.
15:48You should only be concerned about me
15:50and the people in this house.
15:52I'm the only person you should be concerned about.
15:55That sounds gay, bro.
15:57Why is my mother telling me
15:59that she's the only person I should be concerned about?
16:03Why has she been saying that to me all my life?
16:06I'm the only person you're supposed to be concerned with
16:09people in the house.
16:10I'm not supposed to be concerned with anyone else.
16:12That's isolating.
16:14You isolate me to the point
16:16where I can't say anything to you
16:18I can't say anything to anybody else
16:20because you've already snitched on me
16:22and defamed me and made me look gay and nasty
16:24so no one wants to deal with me because of you.
16:28So you isolate me
16:30like I'm being held captive,
16:33like I'm being kidnapped or something.
16:35I'm isolated like somebody
16:37that's being thrown in a basement
16:39and locked and thrown away the key.
16:41That's how isolating it feels
16:43having a mother that fake.
16:46People turn against me
16:48behind, another thing they do
16:50is people turn against me
16:52behind my mother all the time.
16:55People, they turn their back on me.
16:58These people, I don't know
17:00they kiss their mama's asses out here.
17:02I don't kiss my mother's ass.
17:04The Bible says you should obey your parents.
17:06Some parents are insectuous and gay
17:08and stinky and lame
17:10and they beat their children up
17:12and sleep with them and rape them
17:14and throw them away and snitch on them
17:16and I should obey that?
17:18That's another reason why I'm not a Christian
17:20because the Bible says
17:22you should obey your parents.
17:24I don't feel like you should obey your parents
17:26if your parents are gay and nasty.
17:31Obey your parents
17:33and your parents are that fake
17:35and nasty and hateful?
17:37I don't think so.
17:39It's a lot of parents sitting behind bars.
17:41Should they be obeyed?
17:43Should the parents
17:45sitting behind bars be obeyed?
17:49Why should parents
17:51that ain't living right be obeyed?
17:53Why should parents that are abusive
17:55towards their children be obeyed?
17:57I don't agree with that.
17:59A lot of people turn on me
18:01behind their momma.
18:03They look nasty as hell.
18:05Them people look,
18:07they look really nasty bro.
18:10Them people that
18:12turn on me for that
18:14look really very nasty.
18:16Another thing you should do
18:18when somebody abusively abuses me.
18:22Every time I stop shopping
18:24somebody that knows he knows
18:26and then they can see
18:28that I'm saving money
18:30and then they start acting funny
18:32like they want to put me out
18:34so I can't reach the level
18:36that I need to
18:38so I can be safe when I leave.
18:40If people really cared about you
18:42then make sure you have enough money
18:44to leave them.
18:46They don't try to put you out
18:48when you need something.
18:50That means they want you to die.
18:52They want you to die in the streets.
18:54They don't give a fuck about you.
18:56If they're not letting you stack any money
18:58so you can move into an apartment
19:00they don't give a fuck about you.
19:02If they want you to go to jail
19:04or get shot
19:06they don't care about you.
19:08My mother doesn't care about me
19:10because she doesn't want me to save anything
19:12so I can move into an apartment.
19:14She wants me to die or go to jail.
19:16Another thing she does
19:18I put out a movie
19:20last summer
19:22called The Darkest Death.
19:24Like two or three weeks ago
19:26I asked my mother to watch that movie.
19:28She said she's not going to watch it.
19:30I gave her a DVD
19:32Blu-ray disc
19:34and she said she's not going to watch it.
19:36She didn't read my book either.
19:38I gave her a copy of my book
19:40she didn't read that.
19:42I didn't give her I'm Still Absent.
19:44I gave her Living Around Dangerous Human Prejudice
19:46and How to Survive
19:49I could go through and edit a movie
19:51and put beeps
19:53and edit censor the whole movie
19:55so there ain't no curse words in it or anything.
19:57She still wouldn't watch it.
19:59And then she had the audacity
20:01to invite me to a movie.
20:03I would never go to a movie
20:05with somebody that's not watching mine.
20:08She doesn't support me getting a college education.
20:11She doesn't support my music.
20:13She doesn't support my writing,
20:15my book, anything.
20:17Acting career, none of that.
20:19My mother does not agree.
20:21I used to beg for her support
20:23and she used to tell me no.
20:25So I don't ask her anymore.
20:27I'm not asking somebody that
20:29whack and disgusting
20:31to read my book or watch my movie ever again.
20:35And y'all can say I'm defaming my mother all I want.
20:38You can still suck her ass.
20:40I do not care.
20:42Y'all people are gross
20:44and that's what I gotta deal with.
20:46I gotta take up for my mother instead of me.
20:48Do you.
20:50Be gross towards me.
20:52Molest me.
20:54Violate me.
20:56Make me cry.
20:58Torture me.
21:00Laugh at me.
21:02Pick on me.
21:04Do whatever you have to do
21:06to get your nuts off.
21:08My mother controls my every move.
21:10That's another thing she does.
21:12Every time I try to go somewhere
21:14she wants to know where
21:16I can't afford anything.
21:18Nothing.
21:21I told her I had to go to a film festival
21:23in Newark, her hometown, right.
21:27And she said don't go up there.
21:29She's been telling me not to go up there
21:31my whole life.
21:33I'm not going up there.
21:35First of all the festival got canceled.
21:37And second of all
21:39if somebody that nasty to me
21:41telling me not to go somewhere
21:43to a city like that
21:44it's probably a bunch of herds.
21:49It's probably women like herds
21:51on every single block.
21:54That's disgusting bro.
21:56I wouldn't want to be in the middle
21:58of that infestation
22:00of a whole bunch of women
22:02acting like my mother.
22:04Hell no.
22:06Hell to the no.
22:08Still traumatized by Monique
22:10in the movie Precious.
22:12Still traumatized.
22:17I'm not biting that movie.
22:19I really go through this stuff.
22:21People gonna say I'm biting
22:23because I mention it.
22:25That's why I don't like
22:27mentioning celebrities.
22:29They're too rich.
22:31And I'm too poor.
22:33The richer get richer
22:35and the poor get poorer.
22:37And when I mention their name
22:39I get poorer and poorer.
22:42Another thing my mother does
22:44is beats me as a child.
22:46As a child she beat me.
22:48She beat me with a paddle
22:50and she beat me with her bare hands
22:52and I wasn't even a bad kid.
22:54I had honor roll.
22:56I was not dumb.
22:58I was not special ed.
23:00I was not on a short yellow bus
23:02ever a day in my life.
23:04I was smart and I got beat by my mother
23:05and I got beat.
23:07I ran to New York City
23:09and I started getting pimped out
23:11and tricked out by a bunch of pimps
23:13and they started selling me as a minor.
23:15I got sold to men that was
23:1720-something years old
23:19and I was only 15.
23:21I was being molested
23:23and sold as a sex slave
23:25when I was 15, 16 years old.
23:28That's how I became pregnant.
23:32And all of this was because
23:33my mother kept beating me
23:35and I had to run away.
23:38I was being beat
23:40like I was having sex or something
23:42like I was out there
23:44cussing her out, calling her a bitch.
23:46I wasn't doing none of that.
23:48I don't even know what the beatings was for.
23:50I think it had something to do
23:52with my lunch or something.
23:54Saying that,
23:56lying to get free lunch
23:58or something from school
24:00or something like that.
24:01That was a reason why I got beat
24:03about some school lunch.
24:09I used to tell people
24:11that the babysitter
24:13that I won't be fed or something
24:15so I can eat my lunch
24:17and get extra food or something like that
24:19and I got beat for that.
24:21That was not a reason to beat me
24:23and force me to run away
24:25and get sold to men
24:27that was over 20-something years old.
24:29That's nasty
24:31and them men sold me all the way up
24:33until I was 32.
24:35The last time I got sold
24:37was in fucking California in 2020
24:43and I got sold
24:45to a bunch of fucking men over there.
24:48That human trafficking
24:50lasted for two decades almost
24:54and I'm still trying to hide
24:56from them niggas.
24:58They still trying to throw me away.
25:02These niggas still trying
25:04to throw me the fuck in the trash.
25:10Another thing,
25:12I don't eat my mama fucking pussy.
25:16All y'all niggas out there
25:18that tell me that's your mama
25:20you should be on her side.
25:22You niggas suck.
25:24I don't eat my mama pussy.
25:26Y'all niggas looking like y'all do.
25:28I'm still kissing y'all mama ass like that
25:30and y'all mama ain't nothing.
25:34These ain't no yo mama jokes.
25:39Last year around November
25:41I went in the liquor store
25:44and a lady that worked there
25:46called me a tard.
25:48I posted a video on my Vimeo
25:50last year but I deleted the video
25:52because I didn't want to get
25:54a nasty bitch no more free exposure
25:56so I ended up deleting
25:58that fucking video.
26:00But the pain is still there.
26:02I haven't went in that liquor store since.
26:04That used to be my favorite liquor store
26:06and I could not go in there no more.
26:08That is not the first time
26:10a woman that worked in there
26:12started bullying me.
26:14The reason why she called me a tard
26:16was because she said something to me
26:18and I didn't speak.
26:20I didn't respond.
26:22When I didn't respond
26:24I think she said have a nice day
26:26or something and I didn't say anything
26:28but when I did say she was like
26:30oh yeah you heard what I just said
26:32I'm not repeating it
26:34and then I went off on the lady
26:36and then I was never able
26:38to go back in the store again.
26:41And then she was like
26:43she said yo mama.
26:45She was going back and forth
26:47and she started saying yo mama.
26:49Stuff like that I can't deal with.
26:53You bitches that's always
26:55taking y'all mama's side
26:56it's not like you sleep
26:58in a bed with your mama.
27:00My mama made me sleep
27:02in a bed with her
27:04when I was around
27:0611-12 years old.
27:08I had to sleep in a twin sized bed
27:10with my mother.
27:12Now that I think about it
27:14that was very fucking gay bro.
27:16That was gay.
27:18I should not have been sleeping
27:20in a bed with my mother
27:22at 11-12 years old.
27:24I heard stories of celebrities
27:26that ain't all that okay.
27:28Like I heard
27:30Nipsey Hussle brother
27:32saying something like that
27:34on an interview on YouTube
27:36a couple of days ago.
27:38Black Sam or whatever
27:40was saying something about
27:42sleeping in a bed with
27:44Nipsey Hussle as a child
27:46or whatever.
27:48I didn't think nothing
27:50of it when he said that
27:52but my situation is a lot
27:54different.
27:55I had to sleep
27:57in a twin sized bed
27:59that was uncalled for.
28:01I should have had my own bed
28:03in my own bedroom
28:05and I shouldn't have been
28:07scared of anything.
28:09If somebody couldn't afford
28:11for me to have my own bed
28:13I didn't need to be my parent.
28:15I should have got sold off
28:17to a foster parent
28:19or a fucking adoptive mother
28:21if somebody couldn't afford
28:23for me to have my own bed.
28:25I'm still a child
28:27and I'm still being abused.
28:30People think that people
28:32that have siblings
28:34are the only ones
28:36getting abused.
28:38That's not true.
28:40People that grew up
28:42as the only child
28:44get abused too.
28:46Not just people that
28:48live in a house
28:50with a whole bunch
28:52of brothers and sisters.
28:53People that live in a house
28:55as a single parent household
28:57as the only child
28:59and still get bullied
29:01by their fucking parents.
29:08My mom is just
29:10very flat out mean.
29:12She's just mean.
29:16I don't know
29:18if it's because
29:20of where she was born
29:21and to have a mother
29:23growing up
29:25I don't know who my grandma is.
29:27My grandma was dead
29:29before I was born.
29:31I've never met my grandma
29:33and that's probably
29:35why my mother is so mean.
29:44My mother's family is gay.
29:46That's another thing
29:48that's wrong with it.
29:49My family is nasty.
29:51I used to try to
29:53call them back in the day
29:55and see if they would help me
29:57when I was in need
29:59and they were being
30:01stinky and mentally challenged
30:03towards me.
30:05They acted like they couldn't
30:07do anything for me.
30:09It was just nasty.
30:11Like no, no, no to everything
30:13and no you can't come around.
30:15They were just stinky
30:17and sloppy, obese,
30:19if I was in a situation
30:21where like for example
30:23when my father died
30:25didn't nobody put nothing
30:27in my GoFundMe account.
30:29They should have donated
30:31some money to me
30:33so I didn't have to go
30:35to Skid Row when I was in Cali.
30:37They should have donated
30:39some money to me
30:41so I didn't have to live
30:43like a fiend.
30:44They should have donated
30:46some money to me
30:47because I don't like
30:49doing that stuff.
30:51I'm not that type of girl.
30:53They got me fucked up.
30:55I don't like being sold.
30:57They got me that fucked up.
30:59I'm not some bad ass broad
31:01that glorify showing ass
31:03and stripping and tricking
31:05and sleeping with a bunch
31:07of different men.
31:09I don't glorify that.
31:11They got me fucked up
31:13and think I like living like that.
31:15They the type of people
31:17that change something
31:19and get out of it.
31:21But we can't help you.
31:23That's the type of people
31:25they are.
31:27Get out of it on your own.
31:29They can't do a fucking thing
31:31because they too mentally
31:33challenged and stinky
31:35and sloppy.
31:37Another thing I don't like
31:39the police.
31:41The police are always
31:43siding with people mamas.
31:45Why?
31:48Why the police that gay?
31:50Why every time somebody
31:52complain about their mama
31:54they try to force them
31:56to live in the house with them?
31:58Why every time somebody
32:00try to run away from their mama
32:02they try to force their mama
32:04abusive ass mama on them?
32:06Why?
32:08Why can't somebody
32:10just live in peace
32:12away from their dysfunctional
32:14ass family?
32:15Why every time
32:17somebody turns to the police
32:19they a motherfucking ass
32:21try to force their fucking
32:23gay ass and sexual ass
32:25family relatives on somebody?
32:28Why is the police
32:30that stinky?
32:34I hate the police.
32:36Okay?
32:38They my ops.
32:40They're not my friends.
32:42They're not my protection.
32:43They're my ops.
32:45They've been my ops
32:47all my life.
32:49If my mother was bullying me
32:51the police would lick their ass.
32:53If a man was beating me up
32:55if a man was abusive
32:57towards me and blackening my
32:59everyday the police would
33:01kiss their ass too.
33:03The police will kiss
33:05anybody ass that's harming me
33:07and that's gay.
33:09I don't fuck with the police
33:11at all.
33:13So far I don't fuck with them.
33:15I don't know no police.
33:20Another thing my mother does
33:22is irritate me on purpose.
33:24Like I said
33:26constantly bugging me about
33:28some candles being burned
33:30and not worshiping God
33:32and not going to church
33:34every Sunday is petty.
33:36To irritate somebody
33:38year after year about
33:40the same petty thing
33:41I can go to hell
33:43if I don't go to church
33:45and be a Christian.
33:47I can go to church
33:49and be a Christian
33:51and still die and go to hell.
33:53I can pray and worship
33:55the Bible all day long
33:57and still die and go to hell.
33:59What do I need God for?
34:01Everybody's going to die
34:03one day.
34:05So what do I need God for?
34:07If everyone's going to die
34:09one day
34:11I can go to church
34:13every Sunday and worship God
34:15and still die.
34:17If I could stop doing
34:19street rap and demonic rap
34:21and horrorcore
34:23and Santa Muerte rap
34:25right now and started doing
34:27Christian rap I could still die.
34:29So what's the point?
34:31I'm never going to be
34:33a Christian rapper.
34:35Even if I was a Christian
34:37rapper my mama is so fake
34:39that she wouldn't support it.
34:41Why are you doing
34:43Christian rap to that kind of beat?
34:45That sounds secular.
34:48If you're living for God
34:50why are you using those types of beats?
34:52Why are you using the beats
34:54and the sounds that people
34:56of this secular world use?
34:58That's the type of mother I would have.
35:00Why are you complaining
35:02about something like that?
35:04You should be happy
35:06that I switched to being a Christian
35:08and stopped cursing in my raps
35:09about how a beat sounds
35:11how secular something sounds.
35:14That's the type of mother I have.
35:16She wouldn't be happy
35:18because I switched to Christian music.
35:20She would start complaining
35:22about something else.
35:24She would start complaining
35:26about how secular the beats sound.
35:32I'm young.
35:34Why the hell would I want
35:36my music to sound like
35:37Christian music?
35:42When you're talking to your mother
35:44you still have to keep in mind
35:46of your age.
35:48Why is your mother
35:50not having any consideration
35:52for their child's age?
35:54They're numb to their child's age.
35:56They don't care how old
35:58or young their child is.
36:00They're still stuck in their ways.
36:02If your child is young
36:04why would you force a young child
36:05to listen to music that old?
36:07If your child is old
36:09why in the heck
36:11are you forcing your business
36:13into their personal relationships?
36:15Why can't a parent draw a boundary
36:17and have some respect
36:19for their child as well?
36:21Why is it always one sided?
36:23Respect your parents.
36:25Listen to your parents.
36:27And the police ain't going to care
36:29if you don't listen to your parents.
36:31They're just going to throw
36:33your little young ass in jail.
36:35Some of them are flawed
36:37and sexualist and fake and abusive.
36:39And if they're not physically
36:41and sexualist they're emotionally
36:43and sexualist.
36:45They try to isolate their child,
36:47bully their child, pick on their child,
36:49spy on them, try to watch them
36:51and bully them and sexually
36:53harass them and stuff
36:55but they still didn't physically
36:57molest them.
36:59That's still just as violating
37:01as anything else.
37:06Another thing my mother does
37:08is make me lose my appetite.
37:12Sometimes I starve.
37:14Every time my mother tries to bully me
37:16I starve myself for a long time.
37:18Like I go a whole two or three days
37:20without eating where I eat
37:22like a bag of chips or something
37:24and that's it.
37:26I'm sick of that.
37:28Should nobody be bullying me
37:30to the point where I have to starve.
37:32Should nobody be making me
37:33feel that's fake bruh.
37:35That's not right.
37:40I don't like being defamed.
37:42I don't like some people
37:44being one-sided.
37:46People degrading me and defaming me.
37:48They're still trying to make me
37:50look like I was gay.
37:52I was never gay.
37:54I just have a gay family.
37:56Those people in my family
37:58are stinky and sloppy and gay.
38:00I don't fuck with them.
38:01People still saying that I was gay.
38:03I was never gay.
38:05I've never slept with a woman
38:07ever a day in my life.
38:09I'm a victim of emotional incest
38:12not physical incest.
38:14And it's just harmful
38:16and degrading and violating.
38:18I'm a victim of a shit load
38:20of emotional incest.
38:24Non-stop emotional incest.
38:27I won't let anybody molest me.
38:28So don't think that I've been
38:30molested by a female
38:32physically molested
38:34because that has never happened
38:36and it never will.
38:38And every time I say stuff like that
38:40people get jealous of me
38:42because I defend myself
38:44and catch a charge.
38:46They get jealous of that.
38:52They get real jealous
38:54when I try to protect myself.
38:58People still won't buy my merch.
39:00That's another thing.
39:02I don't know.
39:03They're too Christian.
39:04They're too gay.
39:05They're too incestuous.
39:06They're too selfish.
39:07They're too tight.
39:08Whatever reason it is
39:09that they won't buy my merch
39:11people still won't buy it
39:12and they're still supporting
39:14millionaires instead of me.
39:16They're still giving their heart
39:18on check to a bunch of rich people
39:20that's already rich.
39:22I think they're stupid
39:24for not supporting me
39:26but that's okay.
39:28They're narcissists like they are.
39:30They don't have to support anything.
39:32I do.
39:39And last but not least
39:41I don't like mama's boys
39:43that suck their mama
39:45that look like they suck their mama tits.
39:47I don't like niggas that look like
39:49they're sucking on their mom's tits.
39:51That's gay to me.
39:53I don't like niggas
39:55that's close to their damn mom.
39:57I don't like niggas like that.
39:59If you one of them type of niggas
40:01please stay away from me.
40:03I'm not close to my mama like that.
40:05The reason why I can't get away
40:07is because I'm being defamed
40:09and framed and snitched
40:11and lied on and told on
40:13and isolated.
40:15Not because
40:17I do stuff that's stinky.
40:19That's not why I'm stuck
40:21in the house with my mother.
40:23I'm not stuck in the house with my mother
40:24because I do that type of stuff.
40:27I'm stuck in the house
40:29because I was set up by people
40:31that are constantly
40:33infesting me with emotional incest.
40:37And that's all I have to say.
40:39This podcast is nearly over.
40:41I've spent 40 minutes
40:43talking about having an abusive mother.
40:45I hope you learned something.
40:47Whoever's listening to this podcast
40:49if you have an abusive mother
40:51I hope you learned something.
40:52I hope you recognize the signs
40:54and the red flags
40:56of having an abusive mother
40:58and do something about it.
41:00I hope you put your foot down
41:02and stand up for yourself
41:04and try to make a change
41:06and break the chains of abuse.
41:08Go to www.nofemalesallowed.com