Shеrrу Vinе Vаriеtу Shоw S03Е01 (2024)
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00:00Oh, John Mark. Hi. How are you? Hey, have you heard anything about season two yet from
00:13OutTV? Feedback? I know as much as you. Let's hope for season three. Fingers crossed. Fingers
00:22crossed. I'm going to manifest it. Okay, you manifest it. I'm going to manifest it. All
00:27right, Sherry. I'm going to make it happen. All right, Sherry. I'm manifesting.
00:57Season three, season three. Oh, ladybugs, ladybugs, ladybugs, my way home. Okay, okay.
01:08Oh my God. Mirror, mirror, hanging on the wall. Who do I have to sleep with to get season
01:16three, damn it all? Okay, Sherry, first of all, please remember me, Inceptionary Reader.
01:24I mean, that's the way it's been done, like always, like the last thousands of years.
01:30September who was? No, septenary. That means seven syllables per line. Like mirror, mirror
01:36on the wall. Seven. Like, you got it? Got it. Because you were just creeping all over
01:42the place. And I'm not going to answer that anymore. I ain't got time for this shit. Copy
01:46that. And Ronnie Wall with the damn it all? Now, I just think. Loud and clear. And you
01:53don't have to sleep with anybody because quite frankly, nobody wants to fuck you. So
01:57stop asking, please. Well, it is the number one show on Out TV. Is it? It's one of the
02:02top comedies on Out TV. I mean, who said that? I didn't get you proving. It's my gay uncle's
02:0711th favorite show on Out TV. Okay. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I see it now. Yes, yes. Season three
02:15of the Sherry Vaughn and the Rioters show is coming to fruition in the near future.
02:21Oh, thank you, mirror. Oh, sorry. Thank you. Thank you, mirror wall. You don't have to
02:27do it when you sign off. And good Lord, next time you call me, can you please clean this
02:33damn glass? Because there's enough residual cocaine here for an eight ball.
02:41Season three. Season three. Oh, I knew if I had a vision board and manifested, it would
02:49happen. So much to do. So much to do. But first, horny. I don't care what the mirror
02:58says. Somebody out there wants to fuck me. Okay. Got to write. Got to come up with some
03:04songs, some looks, so much to do. But first, I'm going to get me some D.
03:11It's the Sherry Vine Variety Show starring Sherry Vine.
03:20Jackie Beat.
03:24Monet X Change.
03:27Alaska Thunderfuck.
03:29And now, your host, Sherry Vine.
03:41When I was a little girl, I liked to sing and dance. That was my chance to shine. And
03:54now when I feel those bright lights hit my face, the whole world becomes mine.
04:10I'm just a showgirl. That's what I do. I'm a showgirl. Let me entertain you. Feathers
04:30and sequins. Rhinestones galore. High heels and glamour. Baby, I've got more. If you are
04:39feeling down, we'll lift your spirits high. Right, boys? Yeah, yeah. Come on, take off
04:47with me. We'll fly across the sky. Right, boys? Yeah, yeah. This much is true. All through
04:57and through. I'm a showgirl. I'm just a showgirl. Everyone knows I'm a showgirl. From my head
05:14to my toes. Step, step, kick, kick. Shoulder now spin. And if you're real nice, I'll show
05:22you some skin. I'll start a fire with my boom, boom, boom. Right, boys? Yeah, yeah. When I
05:33hit the stage, stand back and boom. Right, boys? Yeah, yeah. So give me one night. Turn
05:44on the spotlight. And I'll knock you right out of your seat. Hey, world, look at me. I'm a
05:57showgirl. Yeah, yeah.
06:09Shari, could I see you for a moment?
06:11Do you need me to shave your back again?
06:14No, I want to discuss something with you. Listen, I sent you an email, and I haven't
06:20heard anything back yet.
06:21Well, I was scared to open it because the last one you sent had a virus.
06:24Now you're worried about viruses?
06:26What's that supposed to mean?
06:27Listen, I sent you a bunch of online reviews and comments from the first two seasons of
06:32your show, and how can I say this in a non-offensive and sensitive way?
06:36Have someone else say it?
06:38People love me. I am clearly the breakout star of the show, and as such, I have some
06:44demands.
06:45Demands?
06:46Demands. First of all, I'll be needing my own dressing room. This is a must, and 100%
06:52non-negotiable.
06:53Not gonna happen.
06:54Fine, but I will need this dressing room that we share to be painted, and according
06:59to my professional color draper, I'm a spring, and this particular shade is the most
07:04complementary to my skin tone. It's called Salmon Moose.
07:09Because you smell like a salmon and are built like a moose?
07:12Oh, Shari!
07:13Shari, Shari, Shari! Why can't you be this funny when the cameras are rolling?
07:18Because you're the breakout star, but enough about your skin. Anything else?
07:22Yes, I will need a fully catered, healthy kosher meal every day.
07:26You're not Jewish.
07:27It's not about the food, Shari. It's a gesture.
07:30So is this. I'll get you some granola bars at Walmart, okay? Shalom.
07:36Anything else?
07:38Yes. Working with you is very stressful. I will need a full body massage every day.
07:43Full body? That sounds very lengthy and expensive.
07:47Ah, body shaming, Shari? You know, other than those chicken legs, the only thing you
07:51really have going for you is the fact that you're supposedly the nice one.
07:55How about I massage your face with my hand?
07:58Oh, she just threatened me with physical violence. Thank goodness I am recording this.
08:02Fake news, fake news!
08:04Listen, Shari, now either you meet all my demands by midnight tonight, or this hits
08:10the internet and I publicly drag you, honey, in the mirror.
08:17You can't even drag yourself.
08:21Wait a minute. Where are you going? I still need you to shave my back.
08:27Hi. Welcome to Gape.
08:30Every space has a voice waiting to be heard, longing to breathe.
08:36Our Ethereal Mist room deodorizer isn't just a scent, it's an invitation.
08:43Bottled in the back room of a New York City leather bar, this deodorizer captures the
08:48very essence of a steamy, three-step process.
08:52This deodorizer captures the very essence of a steamy, 3 a.m. gangbang, mingled with
08:58the soft, subtle notes of unwashed jockstrap and man-ass.
09:04Using a base from distilled wine barrels, cedar, and amyl nitrate,
09:08Ethereal Mist transports you to a place where time lingers and the soul finds its song.
09:16Ah.
09:25With Gape, we don't just offer experiences, we offer moments that invite you to relax,
09:31release, and receive.
09:35Embrace the beauty of being and open up that fuckhole, pig.
09:41In 1973, something terrible happened to a little girl behind this door.
09:47Something so shocking, it broke the spirits of everyone involved.
09:52But it also broke box office records.
09:57Hey, assholes.
09:59Drag Race monster, Anita Exorcism, as you've never seen her before.
10:03In a strange bed, with my legs in the air, screaming obscenities.
10:07In a strange bed, with my legs in the air, screaming obscenities.
10:11No, anyone with a Wi-Fi connection has seen that.
10:14Fair enough.
10:15In a dramatic role so disturbing, so confusing, so hideous, it will make your head spin.
10:24Also starring the legendary Sherry Vine, as Anita's desperate mother.
10:30Your drag mother does brunch in hell.
10:34And the iconic Jackie Beat, as a non-denominational God-loves-everyone type of spiritual advisor,
10:40who is questioning their own faith.
10:43I'm sorry, but I really don't think I can help your daughter.
10:47As a matter of fact, after all the horrible things I've seen, I'm afraid I don't believe.
10:54In God?
10:56In drag.
10:57Why will you do this to me, Jackie?
11:01It's RuPaul meets Pazuzu, in the twisted mashup we didn't know we needed.
11:07Why are her lips so chapped?
11:09It turns out that dry lips are a telltale sign of demonic possession.
11:15Well, what is that all about? I mean, does she need an exorcism or just some chapstick?
11:20Right?
11:24Please, you've got to help. She peed on the rug.
11:27She threw Ross Matthews out of a second story window.
11:30And you don't even want to know what she'd do to my live, laugh, love sign.
11:34It's in here.
11:36We get it, son.
11:38Listen, your daughter doesn't just think she's some hunty from hell.
11:43She says she's Miss Thing herself.
11:48Booked and blessed, the time has come for you to levitate for your life.
12:00Please.
12:01I need you to use your cuteness, unicorniness, nudity, and tantrums to throw this succubus under the bus.
12:08Okurr, yes! I think I can make it work and slay this sickening demon.
12:15Okay, a little bit of that goes a long way.
12:18Look, I need to take a break. This has been incredibly stressful.
12:21Give me a little bit of me time.
12:23What?
12:25Okay.
12:27You in danger, squirrel.
12:29The power of Carson Crestley compels you!
12:32It burns!
12:33The power of Carson Crestley compels you!
12:36It burns!
12:37Does it? What is this crap? Read for Phil.
12:40Available now on alaskathunderfuck.com
12:44Shameless whore!
12:46It's The Exorcist, as you've never seen it before.
12:50Painted for the gods and tucked flatter than Sherry's singing voice.
12:55I heard that!
12:57I'm not tucked!
12:59Tuck me! Tuck me! Tuck me!
13:01Anita, shantay you stay. Satan, sashay away!
13:07The Exorcist in drag.
13:11Not today, Satan.
13:14Actually, today works pretty good for me. I have a pedicure at 2.30, so let's put a fire under this.
13:27The Exorcist
13:32The Exorcist
13:37The Exorcist
13:42The Exorcist
13:47The Exorcist
13:52The Exorcist
13:54The Exorcist
13:59The Exorcist
14:04The Exorcist
14:09The Exorcist
14:14The Exorcist
14:19The Exorcist
14:24The Exorcist
14:29The Exorcist
14:34The Exorcist
14:39The Exorcist
14:44The Exorcist
14:49The Exorcist
14:54The Exorcist
14:59The Exorcist
15:04The Exorcist
15:10Congrats on the spin-off.
15:13Hey, how was 54?
15:16Huh?
15:18Studio 54?
15:20I bet you don't even remember last night.
15:22Dancing with Liza, doing coke with Halston, getting barebacked in the balcony by a bisexual barback.
15:29What are you talking about?
15:31I stayed home with the kids last night.
15:34We watched The Muppets Take Manhattan. Two thumbs up.
15:38And I made us all English muffin pizzas.
15:41Thought I was in bed by nine.
15:43What?
15:44Alone.
15:45Honey, I am officially done with men.
15:48No!
15:54This better be good because the sex you just interrupted was great.
15:58Do you have kids?
15:59God, no.
16:00Are you drunk or high right now?
16:02Both.
16:03Are you alone?
16:04No, I'm with...
16:07Sorry, what was your name?
16:09Whatever.
16:11What's your name, honey?
16:13Pablo.
16:15I'm with Pablo and Vladimir, the bisexual busboys from Studio 54.
16:20Every hole filled, if you know what I mean.
16:23For your information, the phrase every hole filled is not really open to interpretation.
16:28I get it. See you in a few hours, slut.
16:33Can you believe she called me a slut?
16:42Oh, thank God.
16:47Good morning, Pepper.
16:49Good morning, Farrah. Did you have a good time last night?
16:52Am I walking with a limp?
16:54Yeah.
16:55Then I had a good time.
16:57What's new with you?
16:58Well, I'm a vegetarian now.
17:01You're working with sick animals.
17:03No, that's a veterinarian.
17:06A vegetarian is somebody who only eats vegetables.
17:09Obviously, this is another one of those nightmares.
17:12What?
17:16This is not a dream, you fucking bitch.
17:20Oh, great. Now I can't even eat vegetables.
17:23Pepper, Farrah.
17:25Now that we've got that incredibly long, way too cheesy, multiple dream sequence out of the way,
17:30I think I have what could be your most dangerous and challenging case ever.
17:36Unfortunately, we're all out of time.
17:39What?
17:40So I'm very sad to say this is.
17:43Oh.