Big Train - 203 [couchtripper][U]
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00:00Excuse me, excuse me. Have you heard of the Sumatran tiger?
00:03It's that is it? Yep. It's only 500 left in the world at the moment, right?
00:06It's really dangerous. They are dangerous. Yeah, which is that's why we're trying to get rid of them because they're so dangerous
00:11Oh, right. I thought I assumed you were gonna say no God. No. No, we're gonna drown them
00:18Yeah, we're just gonna get like an abandoned reservoir. Yeah, and then we're gonna
00:22Put them all in the reservoir and then fill up the reservoir, right?
00:26It doesn't they I mean they look quite dangerous. They are dangerous, you know, they're really dangerous and they shit everywhere
00:33And getting everyone's tits, right? So let's you know, let's put a stop to it. Yeah
00:37Yeah, what I have to do just sign them sign the paper. They'll be great
00:55Oh
01:25No
01:33Thank you
01:51Bastards
01:56Can I ask you just to keep my baby just for a second while I run to the loo
02:10What are you doing here all on your own
02:17And you got a wife
02:19I
02:32I'm gonna get you
02:35Thank you so much, that's really kind
02:39Thanks. Bye
02:40I'm gonna bite your legs
02:42Oh
03:00I'm Dan Davis
03:12You
03:29Come on you
03:30So with another 20% I want to see those Victoria wait
03:35They're gonna be badly out of focus. I can't zoom in any closer Dan
03:43Another 20% come on. All right, but it won't take it
03:57Snapped couldn't take the strain
04:02You Dan you're trying a hundred percent enlargement nobody's gone beyond 70 before
04:07Oh
04:11Dan you're working too hard. This is a 56 job today. Look at you. You're popping pills like there's no tomorrow
04:17Oh
04:36Ladies leave us
04:39Now
04:41Then
04:46You and Ken Morse were at the top of the rostrum camera game for a long time everyone knew that
04:52But you've fallen off the ladder
04:54It's not the 60s anymore
04:57Anybody who doesn't know a rostrum camera from a sky digibox knows who Ken Morse is you mention that name again?
05:03And I'll put your head through the fucking wall
05:06People say you're losing it Dan that you're popping pills. You're drinking too much
05:11Your marriage is in trouble. Don't you bring Margaret into this?
05:16All right
05:25You've gone from being Dan Davis to Dan dildo
05:30Cough Greg, well works my life. Do you see me lying on the beach somewhere getting a fucking suntan?
05:38You
05:40Know they're saying the same thing about you a channel for a doodle do I got a fucking I TV
05:45You're living in the past in those. I've made a documentary since the world at war
05:55Come back in six months, you'll be a new man
05:58You
06:01Do you know about documentaries your backgrounds in sport
06:06Dan that's enough. Let's do we forget Dan
06:10fucking rats
06:13Fucking balding bearded
06:27Oh
06:43Do you want your photograph take a souvenir of your trip to London?
06:51Yes
06:54All right, well what you need to do is lie down flat and keep still under my rostrum camera
07:01You're later
07:03What a time you stupid bitch
07:06That's it under that's it that that's it right middle
07:10I mean, I'm not supposed to do if you're not in the middle. Let's get this down here a bit. Keep still
07:18What you doing do you keep still I need it
07:23But you
07:53You
07:55You
08:20Yeah, we're just trying to we're gonna get them
08:23Basically, thank you. Thanks very much. Yeah drown. We did the same with the Filipino tortoises. So did you wipe them out in the end?
08:29We bombed them
08:32If you got any change
08:41Number two engines on fire skip shut it down that man shutting down
08:53Now a good time sir. Oh, hello Topsy
09:03I've never been in the cockpit of a Lancaster before
09:11But a lid on it man, come on James don't be shy let's have a look
09:14Shall we now this might look like a lot of old dials and whatnot, but really that's the fellow
09:18We like to keep our eye on there. That's the altimeter. That's the one that's spinning round and round
09:22Oh
09:24Usually that stays constant at about 10,000 feet
09:32Come on man, pull yourself together now James. Have you given any thought to what you might like to do when you leave school?
09:41Exciting see James
09:53So skipper and co-pilot have bought it we're on our own in occupied France
09:59So who should we try to contact?
10:02That's right James
10:06That means hands up James
10:11That's his I'm pretty sure figure have a while if Snoke in uniform is what's forbidden with
10:18It
10:22Is this correct
10:27That means get a move on James
10:32You're right
10:37That looks nasty, yeah, you know me around blood
10:42Vendors in that first stage thing
10:48No, there's nothing there well, I'm going to have to leave you to it is making me feel a bit sick
10:55Tissue
11:01I'll cut your finger. Yeah, you should put a bandage on that. It's not bandages in the
11:07I
11:14Should be enough. Thank you. Yeah some scissors to cut the
11:21There's no more bog roll
11:30Come on David finish your egg. Oh, but it's too hard the soldiers won't go in
11:36Well, then you just spoon your silly sausage. Who's a silly sausage telegram for you, darling?
11:40You can take your pick with these two
11:43And you haven't finished your kipper for a start young lady
11:47Don
11:49What is it? What on earth's happened? Nothing. Nothing
11:54It's about Billy, isn't it?
11:56Yes. Yes it is
12:07Regret to inform you Billy no longer in top 20 stop
12:11The arch-rival Christina ugly hair is set at number one. Stop
12:16It's from the Billy Piper fan club
12:19David take your sister into the garden, please
12:23We can play on the swing
12:27Listen John, it still went top ten. Look. I know you had high hopes for the single. No
12:33Darling I I know what you're trying to do, but it's no use
12:38It's always the same. You know, they go in at number seven one week. They're out the next
12:42It was the same with Wakefield Debbie Gibson Adam Rickett
12:48As far as brother beyond and big fun
12:52It's only a matter of time before the record company drops
12:55Darling
12:56Even if it is over for Billy, she's still married to Chris Evans
13:00I mean, she certainly won't have to make hats like Sonia. Oh darling. Don't you see it's the worst of it
13:06She'll still be in the limelight
13:08Clinging to his arm at premieres and so on
13:12Creatively she'll be finished
13:15It's like Patsy Kenz it all over again
13:18Patsy makes the occasional film does she does she really look darling?
13:24Why don't you go and have a lie down? I'll call the bank and tell them you're not feeling too well
13:29You could always listen to Billy's first album
13:32Yeah
13:34Yes, things will seem much brighter
13:54I
13:58Was Patrick here in a bit I like on Tom
14:04Madeleine the past it would let us along with his enemies and the review on top as a party of a mass
14:09She listened to such a visa que je serais peut-ĂȘtre partie avant son arrivĂ©e
14:17Je pense maintenant
14:19Elle acceptait ce fait
14:22Et ne peut plus hier et trop fatigué
14:31So sorry, I'm afraid I don't speak French
14:51I
15:22Oh
15:25Hello, I'm scuse miss me. Yeah
15:30Any of these do something? Yeah, they are a bit funny. Um
15:34The people are nice though, especially the ladies. Well, that's kind of what I meant
15:37Oh Jesus these muppets aren't exactly on the board of drinks. Are they? Yes
15:43Would you hear that speech?
15:45And
15:48Careful is behind me. It was boring
15:51Yattering on and on and on at least when I make a speech we get to the point. Yeah, you know stand up speak up
15:56Oh, shut up. Hey
15:59I just wondered if you'd like to come and join our group. Oh, thanks. Yeah seem to get busier and busier
16:06Excuse me
16:08What were you saying? Oh, we were just talking about an orgy. We might be having later
16:13If you fancy joining in I didn't know it's gonna be one of those sort of night. All right. Yeah, I'll be good
16:19They've got the jacuzzi book
16:44It's really good, you know, what's he like just like you see what you go to art school then Rob? No, I've always liked drawing
16:54Fished
17:01Really can't keep it. Oh
17:04Morning all
17:06Selling okay, Rob. I mean, all right. Yes. Thank you. Could you get me Brian Stafford? Yes
17:11Rob's a really good cartoonist. It's just the one of Jeremy. Yeah, look
17:16You should do a report
17:19You go on what's that long? Yeah, it's all right. Don't try and flatter me just cuz I'm boss
17:27What's the secret then Rob
17:30Well, you just got to try and get the essence of the person really just as
17:35Simply as possible
17:39Sort of it
18:05Oh
18:35I
19:05Oh
19:07Oh
19:30Where am I you awake? I'm Toby. This is Tasha. Hi
19:37That that boy you trapped me we're in the park, you know, that's how we ended up here we've been here two years now
19:44two years
19:47We've got to get out of here. Well, yeah, but how
19:51They're just kids. We just grab the one with the key and knock him about it. He gives us a key hit a child. Yes
19:58To my leg, they've locked up for two years
20:02The kick is in order you always haven't got kids of your own
20:05Oh
20:27Well, we think what you're doing setting an appalling example to the next generation, oh really what should you
20:35I
20:37See we do not understand each other after all other appraisal for this one man's action
20:43Every tense one of you be taken out and shoot it
20:47Actually Josh, it's taken out and shot. Don't correct him Toby. You'll stifle him
21:05Oh
21:07Oh
21:09Oh
21:34The police caused the violence they come down here with their lights and I start flashing
21:40Just leave us alone then
21:42Just because we like, you know mattress look here, you know
21:46Oh, right
21:47It doesn't mean that we're different to you or anyone else for that matter if I want to try and get a part of me
21:51I think I should be allowed without getting stopped
21:54And a lot of it a lot of it is just prejudice because they're different people are always going to have a go at them
22:00It's a very sad side of human nature
22:04They do get a lot of hate mail and some of it is very unsavory
22:08this came through the letterbox on Monday and as you can see, it's a postcard and
22:15Originally, it just says come to the Tower of London
22:18somebody
22:20And we think we know who?
22:23Nameless has written don't underneath
22:27Don't come to the Tower of London
22:31I mean it's filth
22:33Especially a sick mind would do that
22:35I wouldn't use the word beginning with s but don't poo on your own doorstep would be
22:40You know, you've all you've already pooed on your own doorstep. Don't go and poo on other people's
22:46Death threats we've had be impaled on a spike. Yes, you know horrible Mary Queen of Scots
22:53Amberlynn you'll be next
22:55Was written on a small axe and block that came through
23:00A dead what they thought was a dead raven came through the letterbox was actually a crow
23:07Some ravens muck crows muck some vegetarian burgers
23:29I
23:59I
24:29I
24:59I
25:04Both fighters have been showing great form lately and obviously we're delighted that Oliver's come over to Britain to fight
25:11But Dave, yeah, I'd like to ask Jenny. Do you feel you've been pushed into this fight by your parents?
25:21Could I just add that this is entirely Jenny's own decision and lots of little girls these days play football so why not box
25:30Tonight's the tour. Sure. Don't see why not
25:37You ain't gonna take me down girl
25:59I
26:01I
26:25Really like Vegas for me whenever I'm the world title now, listen Jenny pay attention
26:30Um, mummy and daddy don't want you to try quite as hard tonight as you normally do but it's a title fight
26:36Mommy, I know that Jenny. It's just that
26:40Some men have offered mummy and daddy lots of money to buy you presents
26:44but only if you're a very good girl and take a dive I
26:50Don't want to now don't start that with me madam
26:52It might work with your father, but it doesn't wash with me
26:55You will take a dive in the seventh and that's an end to it no just do it or I'll give you what for
27:02Let's do as your mum says
27:26And
27:29So ladies and gentlemen, that's a true story of why I never became the world's champ after all
27:36I didn't want mummy and daddy to be beaten to death with baseball bats. Did I?
27:42And now the moment you've all been waiting for the stripper
27:47Nice set Jenny. Yeah
27:55Have a seat, it's Fiona
27:58Chris
27:59Derek and you know Nick we met at Tom Bingley's. I saw you actually recently
28:04Yeah, I hope you weren't trying to avoid me because you couldn't remember my name
28:15I'm Colin by the way, of course Colin. Yes. Hi again
28:25You