Big Train - 201 [couchtripper][U]

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Transcript
00:00Oh
00:14Sorry, sorry, sorry Jesus. Are you okay?
00:18Are you okay? Are you all right?
00:21Speak to me. Can you hear me? I can't help you if you don't talk to me
00:30I
00:33Believe you from say
01:00a
01:06Big train
01:08So it's the big day Martin. Yeah, how do you feel now about meeting your birth mother?
01:13all sorts of things
01:15Feel great, and I would have been felt very wrong to met her when I well my adoptive parents were alive and now they've gone
01:25So you're ready to meet your mum
01:30Okay, Julie, can you bring Diane in please? Yeah, sure. Come in Diane
02:00Oh
02:31Oh
02:38Makes it all worthwhile Judith, you might want to come and look at this
02:54Sorry, how do you turn the sound up on this? Oh, yeah, I had it down a little bit
03:00Oh
03:07So in conclusion these cakes really are selling extremely quickly
03:11Selling like nobody's business. They're flying off the shelves these cakes. Maybe it's because we warm them up first
03:17I don't know, but I've been bought at a tremendous rate
03:20In fact, I don't think I've seen anything sell with such speed as these warmed through cakes
03:26It's snapping up these cakes like well like like they're going out of fashion
03:33Sorry, you could say they were selling like hotcakes
03:41Well, I think that's as good a place as any to end the meeting so thank you very much Steve and
03:57Peter I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let you go
04:03You you're firing me
04:07But why
04:09Because you're a smart Alec Peter
04:12Making glib remarks about cakes and I'm afraid up here what counts is how you make cakes and not what you say about don't
04:21Don't fire me, please. I'm committed to cakes
04:27Okay, look it's clearly not working out for you in this division, so
04:32I'm prepared to give you another chance. I'm gonna move you to another section, but I want you to cut out the smart remarks
04:39Okay, it's down to you Peter
04:41This represents the fat of broth and these figures represent the broth makers or cooks if you will
04:53There's a lot of them, isn't there? And it's this circuit of cooks that's having such a negative impact on the broth
05:00There's too many cooking staff and it's ruining the product
05:05Think wouldn't you that having so many cooks would make it better? But no, it's making it worse
05:11So to put it in simple terms
05:14Ratio of chefs to the amount of food being prepared is proving detrimental to the broth
05:24Say you bollocks it up
05:41I
06:11I
06:35Good work, son. Thank you. Very good
06:41A
06:46Teal there
06:48Just want to see how far oh, yeah fallen tree. Yeah. Yeah six of them, isn't it? Yeah
06:54I'm gonna get that
07:05How many times have I told you before hey, how many times have I told you before
07:11This is private sanctuary for ducks. Are you a duck? No, are you a duck? No
07:19Fuck off then. Come on
07:21Come on move yourself. Come on
07:39Next time it won't be me. It'll be the swans, right?
07:51I
07:53I
08:17Might buy a ball, please. Oh, sorry, sir. That's our balls
08:23You
08:27Right
08:40Oh
08:49You may leave us God
08:53How is the prisoner I am a man accustomed to injustice
08:57Have you thought more of our scheme? It is a plan not without danger. This evil Emperor must be
09:03Overthrown we have an army of 20,000 men awaiting you. I have certain demands
09:10Well, we will do everything in our power to see their met. I need fresh horses food for several days should be arranged
09:19also, I
09:20Have made a friend here
09:22Keith Emerson from Emerson Lake and Palmer
09:27Sentence for his part in the Thracian insurrection. I wish to bring him with us and grant him his freedom. What happened to Lake and Palmer?
09:35Palmer was drowned in a lake
09:37Lake is a slave in Palmer
09:41He says very little he communicates mainly through music is he a fighter the finest in all of Rome
09:53Oh
10:06As you can see Keith's fascination with the more elaborate end of prog rock has lumbered in with a vast array of keyboards
10:12I need 200 mules for the journey 200 mules
10:16impossible
10:17Keith Emerson, yeah
10:20Do you agree to leave this place without your complete keyboard collection
10:25Perhaps you could take a single Yamaha DX7 or the move synthesizer
10:31Keith will not travel without his entire collection
10:34Such a journey is not possible without roadies. The EOP road is was sold into slavery and craze. I
10:41Need 200 mules Maximus. No, I
10:45Will not leave without Keith and his entire keyboard collection Maximus
10:49I urge you to see reason those are my conditions and as usual the usual terms and conditions apply to these conditions
10:57Promise 200 mules, but I'll see what I can do
11:01Oh
11:13Emerson be quiet. I'm trying to think
11:17Contact you James
11:19Who Andrew Markham? He wanted to show you his new film script. So I gave him your number. Hope you don't mind
11:26He's with Benton Hamratty at the moment. Yeah, so he's feeling a bit frustrated
11:30Just a great ad for oven chips. Hmm. Oh, is that the one where they all dress like pens people? Yeah, brilliant
11:36Oh, oh, I read his treatment. I kept thinking Lenny Henry
11:42Not you mean but I thought Neil Pearson
11:45He went in to see big pictures
11:47You know, if Henderson's your company they offered him a deal, but I don't think it was very interested. Did he go to you?
11:56I
11:57Said the difference between big pictures and us is that we actually make films
12:19It's nice
12:27Something wrong max
12:31What have I done must know my first wife was a Mexican bandito
12:48Please please leave me
12:51You
12:56Damn you you're still laughing now, even from the grave
13:11Well, he must have been
13:13Yeah
13:21This is a friend of mine from work, this is Jim
13:25We just saw a guy Richie outside. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah the couple of bodyguards with it. Is that what they were?
13:30Oh, yeah, I saw Ray fines out there the other week. I want to get their suits made on here, don't I?
13:35Shall I go to bar?
13:38That's quite a best place best half me, please
13:42Hey, so what you work with Lenny then? Yeah. Yeah that thing you were saying about
13:49Bodyguards. Yeah, is that some sort of reference to me not being married?
13:55So that's that some kind of comment about me not being married
14:02No, because I'll tell you now if you ever say anything about me not being married again, I'll put you
14:07fucking head through the wall
14:11There we go, oh great one for you, you know tell Nick about the
14:17We were on we were on the train at the weekend. We tell him it's good story
14:22Yeah, you're on the train, yeah
14:25Yeah, well, yeah, we're on the train
14:27Yeah, we're in the carriage and
14:30What was it? Oh, yeah, there's a couple of kids kicking a can of coke about empty can and yeah
14:36Yeah, I know I know how this story ends ends with me not being married, isn't it?
14:43Do you think I don't know what you're talking about coke cans not tango coke cans you're talking about me not being married again, aren't you?
14:50No, I'm not. Oh, it's just some sort of coincidence
14:53Then is it you know that the kids are kicking a coke can not throwing kicking kicking marriage coke can me not being married
14:59You won't let go of it
15:01I'm not afraid of you
15:13I'm getting married in the morning ding-dong the bells are going to
15:20I
15:25Reckon that Hammond's got a good chance in a French. I wish I'm gonna go actually you watch him. Yeah, I want to go
15:30I want to go. Okay. All right
15:40You might be sick of will it could share with me
15:42Oh
15:58There's the spine
16:02Going right up to the head
16:13I
16:23Am very very sorry
16:29Well, that was as ever spectacular
16:35So how long she away I don't know
16:38Wife James, well, it just depends on on the shooters, you know boy check
16:42He'll keep them in that godforsaken jungle for six months if he has to
16:46You're a bastard James
16:49Mmm, well, you're no soup off yourself, are you?
16:53So what does Alex think you are this afternoon at home?
16:58He's got an appointment with the accountant
17:00It looks like he might lose the Savile Row shop. Well, I don't sort of Alex. He's all mouth and trousers
17:05That would seem he's all math without even the trousers
17:35And
17:44Now there's a quote in your book from Naomi Wolf
17:48It's not actually a quote from Naomi Wolf
17:50It's something that a friend of mine said was like something that Naomi Wolf might have said, right?
17:55So do would you agree with a quote or suggested quote to the effect that there's a gender bias in the media?
18:00Which could be equated with discrimination against Afro Americans in the 1960s?
18:04No, what I would say is that women are still not being listened to yes, but that's if I may finish
18:10Yes, of course. We have a platform in the media. I myself am a writer
18:15But as opinion formers, we still have a very long way to go. So do you think your opinions are?
18:22Valuable as a woman. Well, I think they're very important. They're more emotional than logical. No, of course
18:28I got a rather silly remark. Well, that's that's a kind of obvious observation
18:33Yeah, but could I could I just ask I you know to me that's the kind of
18:37observation if I could just ask
18:41Why is a woman so illogical
18:46Well, a man is rational and clear
18:51The feminine emotional response can be completely baffling I fear
18:58You see a
19:00Man will solve a problem with a minimum of fuss a woman on the other hand is quite different from us
19:07She'll scream and shout and stamper put in quite an alarming fashion while men would dress a problem with a minimum of passion
19:14Oh, why are they so infuriating?
19:19Irrational
19:24So frustratingly impossible
19:28So consistently maddening so deliriously hysterical or why aren't they just be more
19:36well like a man
19:41Well, if that's the level of debate that you're expecting us to have and really have nothing further to add that's quite ridiculous
19:48You
19:56Like that, how about this? Oh
20:00Yeah, I'm gonna gently
20:04You're gonna come there we go
20:10Good I've never had any complaint
20:12Oh
20:16Exhausted yeah, you would be
20:19How long's your wife away? I told you I don't know
20:22You didn't tell me didn't know. No. Well, I don't know. I
20:27Saw Alex and Jane this week
20:29She said that Alex was gonna have to shut the shop in Savile Row
20:33I've always thought of Alex. He's all mouth and trousers now, it would seem he's mouth
20:38without even the trousers
20:43Oh
20:45Yeah, I just thought of it now
20:49You said maybe we could get away this weekend Patrick left his Europe
20:54Yeah, well, I can't I've got to go to LA to meet John Travolta
20:56I really wanted to be in the film and he loves Patrick screenplay John Travolta Wow
21:03well
21:04He's the one that I want. Ooh
21:07honey
21:12I
21:42I
21:50Was Jensen, oh
21:52Hello, mr. Robinson. Thanks for calling back. I work at the Venus de Milo Health and Beauty Center
21:58The wife was in earlier today and we think she might have spent slightly longer than we would usually recommend on our sunbed
22:12I
22:17Did you have to ask if I read this one?
22:23That money put what you need let's do
22:26Okay, so
22:38So, what's going on?
22:48Michelle Javel intention to do
22:55Muji
23:04She did calculus. Oh, it's okay
23:13It could spark
23:16Sit in took contraception
23:20I
23:26Shouldn't be possible. I mean, you know, but there's one don't stop me. She's one
23:49Oh
24:19Oh
24:35Sofie
24:39She's gonna miss one of it, right?
24:43We
24:45Just soon
24:49Oh
25:04She's in the song
25:10She's in the song
25:12So if you make it would provide a gal are you to jail?
25:16Just be deaf. Oh, yeah
25:20I'm a blast
25:24Sophie
25:26Very beautiful to me. Well, I can always assume
25:30What you do for it? Oh, no, but it's a girl
25:35Just relax
25:37Oh
25:43You know their son, but we
25:48So fitting one
25:50Kiss keep up to don't miss if the mobile could you nip it up?
25:53No, it's not good. C'est la stabilité
25:56You know, it's really good. She left the peak on my parents. You know, it's a kiss and press it
26:01I
26:04Saw the people
26:06me
26:08It's paparazzi
26:11Deepens
26:13Incorporated
26:15sir, I can see it
26:18There's a list of fish
26:22To go and I'll see you so I like
26:30You
26:53It's on you tonight
27:00You
27:30You
28:00Oh
28:11Darling
28:13Oh
28:43You