Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em - 101 [couchtripper][U]
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00:30Betty! Castle for you. Thanks, Mum.
00:50Mum, do you know where Frank's gone? I know where he's been.
00:55Look, don't start picking on him again.
00:59God knows what he's done to that.
01:03Everything was alright before he came. Everything was alright before he came.
01:07That's right. Blame Frank. Everything's Frank's fault.
01:10You can't touch a single thing in this house without breaking it, bending it or losing it.
01:15I'm not listening. I've got enough worry with Frank's interview today and you don't care a bit.
01:25That's him. He's out there now, pulling the coal shed down.
01:30The door's gone already. And what's that door?
01:35It's for Frank. Well, someone has to look after him.
01:40Look after him? Who's going to look after us?
01:44Oh, shut up, Mum.
01:47His mother was just the same.
01:55Frank?
01:59Oh.
02:03Well, have you found it? Not quite.
02:06What do you mean? Not quite? Either you've found it or you haven't.
02:11I haven't quite found it.
02:16What are we going to do if it rains? I could put a bit of wood across it.
02:21It had a bit of wood across it. It was called a door.
02:26It was broken, Mrs Fisher. I know it was broken.
02:30You broke it and now you don't know where you've put it.
02:33I put it down the garden somewhere.
02:37You haven't got a spade, have you?
02:40You haven't buried it.
02:43I just thought I might do a bit of gardening later. Never mind the gardening.
02:47What about my coal shed door? I'm going to mend it, Mrs Fisher.
02:51I was just going through my tools.
02:59I haven't got very many at the moment.
03:03I'm getting a different one each week.
03:07This is the first week.
03:11When my husband got married, he was properly equipped.
03:17I'm properly equipped. You've only got an hammer.
03:21No, it caught me a bit on the hop.
03:25I wasn't really considering doing any serious building work. Serious building work?
03:29All I want you to do is find my shed door.
03:33It's just not good enough, Frank.
03:37I think I'll get a screwdriver next week.
03:47I'm just going upstairs.
03:51Get ready for my interview.
03:55What is it this time? I'm going to be an area sales manager.
03:59I think it's my lucky day.
04:07Good grief.
04:17Betty?
04:21Oh, your suit looks nice, Frank.
04:25Trousers feel a bit tight, though.
04:29No, they're not, honestly. When you walk in there, you look just like one of them.
04:37I'm a businessman, Frank. They'll expect you to wear a suit.
04:41I've bought you a little present
04:45for your interview.
04:49Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I've got nothing to put in it, though.
04:53I could put my sandwiches in it.
04:57Frank, you're only going 200 yards down the road.
05:01They might want me to start at once.
05:05Once I get down there, I don't want to stop. I don't want any delays.
05:09I want to get right in and get on with it.
05:13We had a lovely day for it, didn't we?
05:17We're going to have many, many lovely days, Betty.
05:21We could be together for another 50 years.
05:25Just think of that.
05:33Well, it hasn't been that bad, has it?
05:37No, of course it hasn't, Frank. You knew what I was like.
05:41Sorry, I don't know what came over me.
05:45It's just that sometimes, when I look at you, I get so...depressed.
05:53Well, what's the matter with me?
05:57Oh, it's not you, Frank. No, no, it's all of the others, isn't it?
06:01I mean, they don't give you a chance, do they?
06:05I mean, a man with all your, um, personality
06:09and we're moving into our new flat next week and we haven't got any money.
06:13Oh, Frank, you will try and get this job, won't you?
06:17Betty, I always try. I know you do, Frank.
06:21No-one could be more trying than me.
06:25I tried...tried on the post office.
06:29Mm. And the gas board.
06:33Mm. And then there was that factory, wasn't there, Frank?
06:37Mm. And the underground.
06:41Oh, you should have stayed on the underground, Frank. You made a good guard.
06:45Well, I kept forgetting to open the doors.
06:51But you were very careful, though, Frank.
06:55I mean, no-one ever fell out of your trains.
06:59No-one ever got out at all.
07:07Betty, Frank will be late for his interview.
07:13Interview? He doesn't go to work, he just goes for interviews.
07:20Yes, I think I'll make a cup of tea before we go.
07:24Where's the brown teapot?
07:27We haven't got a brown teapot. We've got a brown handle without a pot.
07:31We've got a blue pot with no handle.
07:35A coffee pot without a lid.
07:38Don't go on about it.
07:41You've done nothing but complain about Frank ever since the wedding.
07:45I mean, it's not his fault. Other people break things as well.
07:51Betty?
07:54I want my coal shed door back.
07:58I don't know where it is.
08:01Frank's put it somewhere.
08:03Well, if he's put it somewhere, he'll find it, won't he?
08:07Before we move into our new flat, we're going to have a special day
08:11looking for all the things that Frank has lost during the week.
08:16Oh, Mum, Frank is going through a very difficult period.
08:22We're all going through a very difficult period.
08:26It started the day he arrived.
08:29We should never have married him.
08:31Oh, Mum.
08:33His mother was a bit funny too.
08:36Mum, Frank isn't funny.
08:39She was always breaking things, just like Frank.
08:42And she was so strong. You don't upset her.
08:45Frank, tea.
08:47Oh, Mum, Frank wouldn't hurt anyone.
08:49Well, the vicar's been under sedation since the wedding.
08:55Well, that wasn't Frank's fault.
08:57He was on the church steps and the vicar was standing behind him.
09:00His mother was always slipping.
09:02Slipping and breaking.
09:04A family of slippers.
09:06Oh, Mum.
09:09Frank, here's your tea.
09:17Well, what's this job you're going for, then?
09:21Pipes.
09:23What?
09:25Pipes I'll be in.
09:29What's he talking about?
09:31Pipes and plumbing and things that go in the bathroom.
09:35That's what I'll be selling.
09:37Not to me you won't.
09:39Here.
09:41I suppose if you get this job, you'll be moving into your own home.
09:45Oh, yes.
09:47Oh.
09:49Oh, Mum. What is it now?
09:51I shall be all alone here.
09:54No, you won't.
09:56You've still got Dad, haven't you?
09:58And he'll be home in a couple of months.
10:01I mean, poor Frank, he didn't have anyone.
10:04Not even his funny mother.
10:09Funny mother about Frank's mother, wasn't it?
10:12She slipped, Mrs Fisher.
10:14There. I told you.
10:16She was always slipping.
10:18It happened during the carnival.
10:20She took a turn on the Sunday school float.
10:23And your father disappeared in Africa, didn't he, Frank?
10:27So Mum always said.
10:29I expect he slipped as well.
10:32Frank, you get your briefcase.
10:35I won't have your family insulted.
10:37Oh, Betty.
10:39Now you've let her go.
10:41I'm going to be all by myself.
10:44Goodbye.
10:46Oh, my little girl.
10:49My little Betty.
10:52We don't have to go.
10:59You didn't have to come with me, you know.
11:01Oh, I always come with you, Frank.
11:03I know, but I'm a bit...
11:05You take a good look, familiarise yourself
11:08and try and remember some of the prices.
11:10You'll have to know the price of everything
11:12if you're going to be a salesman.
11:14Now, that, for instance.
11:17Oh, I don't even know what that is.
11:19Oh, and another thing, Frank, don't forget to smile.
11:24Leave it in there.
11:26You see, you mustn't go in looking worried.
11:28I am worried.
11:30Well, Frank, you just go in there and do your best.
11:33And I'll be down here thinking about you.
11:35And I'll be up here thinking about you.
11:38And try and think about your pipes as well, won't you, Frank?
11:42And don't forget, smile.
11:50LAUGHTER
12:01Oh, excuse me, miss.
12:03Mr Lewis's office.
12:05Oh, yes, third floor.
12:06Thank you very much.
12:32Should be coming up now.
12:34How long's he been in there, then?
12:36I mean, I don't know how he did it.
12:38It's bleeding sabotage, if you ask me.
12:53Come in.
12:55Um, Mr Lewis, I'm...
12:57Oh, it's you.
12:59Mr Spencer, I am.
13:01Oh, yes, sit down, Mr Spencer. I'll tell Mr Lewis you're here.
13:12Just familiarising myself.
13:14I might be here permanently.
13:18Oh, my gosh.
13:20Um, Mr Lewis?
13:22Yeah, what is it, Linda?
13:23There's a Mr Spencer to see you about the vacancy.
13:26Well, it's a bit late, isn't it? Everybody else came at 11.15.
13:28Oh, Mr Spencer was here at 11.15, only he just got out of the lift.
13:32Yes, the maintenance men should have it working again by once.
13:34Oh, I see.
13:36Maintenance men?
13:38Well, they're working as fast as they possibly can.
13:40Things should be back to normal quite soon.
13:42Spencer? Spencer?
13:44Oh, yes.
13:46That's his application form.
13:49And he also enclosed his library ticket.
13:53All right, show him in, Linda.
13:56Mr Spencer?
13:59Oh, good morning, Mr Spencer. Nice to meet you.
14:14Your briefcase.
14:16It's new.
14:19All right, Linda, thank you. That'll be all.
14:21I'm Mr Lewis, general manager.
14:28Can I take your coat?
14:34Well...
14:37What's the joke?
14:41I beg your pardon?
14:43Well, I thought something was amusing you.
14:45No.
14:50Well, do sit down.
14:57Now, then, you'll be needing this library ticket.
15:01Have you got one here, then?
15:05One what?
15:07A library.
15:08No, no, no, Mr Spencer, that's your library ticket.
15:11Oh.
15:13Now, Mr Spencer, I'm not...
15:19Yes.
15:22Mr Spencer, I'm not quite clear about this application form.
15:25In previous occupation, you've answered yes and no.
15:32Yes.
15:34Yes.
15:36Yes, I have had a previous occupation.
15:38No.
15:39Yes.
15:41No, no, no, you misunderstand me.
15:43You have written yes and no.
15:45No.
15:49Yes, I have had a previous occupation,
15:53and no, I haven't got one now.
15:57You're unemployed?
15:59Today I am, yes.
16:01I asked yesterday?
16:02Yesterday.
16:05I was unemployed as well.
16:08How long have you actually been unemployed?
16:11Oh, it's difficult to remember offhand.
16:15Really?
16:16Well, experience isn't really necessary in this job,
16:18because we can always train you.
16:20I see.
16:21Well, some people we can train.
16:24Now, you'd be a company representative.
16:26You'd have to travel around, meet people.
16:28It would be at advantage if you'd done similar kind of work.
16:31Oh, well, I have done similar kind of work, yes.
16:33Oh, what was that?
16:34I was a postman.
16:37Mr Spencer, why do you want this particular job?
16:41Well, I feel that it would be an improvement.
16:44Oh, yes, an improvement, I see.
16:46An improvement on what?
16:49An improvement on my present position.
16:51But you don't have a present position.
16:54No.
16:56But if I did have one, it would be an improvement.
17:05Have I passed?
17:09Mr Spencer, I frankly don't think that you'd be quite...
17:12Please, Mr Lewis, all I want is a little chance.
17:20Well, if you really want the work,
17:22we do have similar openings for junior salesmen,
17:26door-to-door salesmanship.
17:28I could do that, all right, yes.
17:29Of course, you'd have to have a little training,
17:31though it's so simple that even you could.
17:34Well, you might have the temperament for it.
17:36We can soon find out.
17:37What we do is, you see, we give you a case
17:39full of samples of our smaller products,
17:41and then you just go round from door to door.
17:43Now, that should be easy enough.
17:46I've got a case here somewhere.
17:48Right.
17:49Ah, yes, here it is.
17:52Are you coming with me, then?
17:55You haven't got the job yet, Mr Spencer.
17:58I'm just testing you.
18:01You knock on the door, the door opens,
18:04and you hold out your card.
18:07You're holding up a card, not Tower Bridge, Mr Spencer.
18:11And then you smile.
18:14Yes, and that's something else
18:15that we are going to have to see to later.
18:18And then you begin.
18:19Good morning, I represent Lewis & Company,
18:21wholesale ironmongers,
18:22and I'd like to show you some of my samples.
18:24Now, that's easy enough, isn't it?
18:25Ah, yes.
18:27I won't really need any training for that, will I?
18:29Well, better to be safe than sorry, Mr Spencer.
18:32So you just take this, go outside,
18:34knock on the door, and we'll take it from there, all right?
18:37Could you take...
18:41Yes.
18:51I've got all day, Mr Spencer!
18:57What are you doing?
18:59Oh, just getting a sample in me hand
19:01so I'll be quick off the mark.
19:03Right, well, you've got it in your hand now,
19:04be quick off the mark.
19:05Now, come on, come on, I've got all day to waste.
19:07Come on, come on.
19:09I haven't knocked yet.
19:10Oh, good God, man, you don't have to go through the whole room!
19:13It's best to stick to the routine, aye,
19:15then we won't get confused.
19:17Confused? Oh, you've got to do it!
19:19All right.
19:20All right!
19:22It's best, aye.
19:29You'll have to learn to knock louder than that, Mr Spencer.
19:41That is a very expensive bathroom thermometer!
19:54I think it's 40.
19:57Well, it is now!
19:59Knock, knock, right?
20:00Right.
20:01You've knocked, right?
20:02Right.
20:04Oh!
20:08Good morning.
20:10Case, case!
20:12Case, case.
20:13Card, card!
20:14Card, card.
20:15Good God, I thought you were pulling your knife on me!
20:17I'll keep it in your hand, I told you, I told you!
20:19I've got it, I've got it all flashed in.
20:21Flashed it before you've even got into the room!
20:23I've got it now.
20:24Well, go on then, go on.
20:25Case, case.
20:26Card, card.
20:27Sample, sample.
20:31I'll show you.
20:34No, not out there.
20:39Forgot these.
20:46Come in.
20:49I represent Lewis & Company, wholesale ironmongers,
20:51and I'd like to show you some of my samples.
20:53Card, card!
20:56It's in me bloody hand!
21:04Are you allowed to swear at them?
21:09Here is my card.
21:11Do, please, read it.
21:14Yes.
21:17Lewis & Company, wholesale ironmongers,
21:2249 Lehigh Street.
21:23You've read the damn thing!
21:27I, um...
21:30I represent...
21:32Lewis & Company, shoo!
21:38Now, you do it!
21:43Are you ready, Mr Spencer?
21:45Mr Lewis, Mr Palmer...
21:46Get out!
21:49Well, don't just stand there staring, you stupid girl,
21:51haven't you got any work to do?
21:54Mr Lewis, I don't think you should talk to me like that.
21:55You mind your own business!
21:57Are these not the best pair of trousers you've got?
21:59They were all right when I came in this morning.
22:01I fell over in the shop window.
22:02Mr Spencer looked at me.
22:05I told you not to be funny with me, lad!
22:07I'm not being made a fool of!
22:11Mr Lewis, I'm ready.
22:17Good morning.
22:19I represent Lewis & Company,
22:21wholesale ironmongers.
22:25I'd like to show you a little sample.
22:29I'm not interested!
22:32I beg your pardon?
22:34I'm not interested, they're rubbish.
22:37Oh!
22:57Well...
23:00I expect you're right.
23:03What the hell do you mean you expect I'm right?
23:07I was just being tactful.
23:08Tactful? Tactful?
23:09I'm a potential customer, man.
23:11I've just told you they're samples of rubbish,
23:12but what are you going to do about it?
23:14Well, you can't just leave it at that!
23:16Well, convince me!
23:17Well, you some bloody initiative man!
23:21I don't think we should bother with the bad-tempered ones.
23:25Who's bad-tempered?
23:26I don't know.
23:27Who's bad-tempered?
23:28No, I mean, people like that.
23:29They just bring ill repute to the firm, won't they?
23:32Well, damn it all, man!
23:33Shouting and swearing like that and carrying on.
23:37I mean, we'd be better off without them.
23:48Twenty years in the business.
23:50I've never known anything like it.
23:51I've never known anything like it.
23:52I'll be better when I've had my training.
23:54I mean, you've only got days to call it a house.
23:56It just hasn't been one of my days.
23:57Say a few words.
24:00Anyone can do it.
24:05I've been very worried about the coal-shed door.
24:12Oh, Mr Lewis, it's about the lift.
24:14I've had harassment after harassment.
24:16Wait a minute!
24:18And you put that away!
24:22Yes.
24:23Right, now you see, we've cannibalised A lift
24:25in order to get B lift going with Holmes Pass.
24:27Right, good, good.
24:28We can't get A lift going together
24:30till we get the spare parts we need.
24:46Mr Spencer!
24:52My God, he's flattened.
24:53He's probably gone right through the floor.
24:56What's left of him?
24:57Well, lift it up, then!
24:58Lift it up! Lift it up!
25:28You let me know, then...
25:33What?
25:35About the job.
25:38I bet you want to think about me.
25:41Oh, yes, Mr Spencer, I'll think about you.
25:43I doubt if I'll ever think about anything else.
25:46About the lift.
25:47I was saying, about the lift.
25:49Well, I can see you're busy, but I'll just get my clothes.
25:52Look, it's going to be difficult because I can't get...
25:55This is my 11th resignation. I've had enough.
25:57No, we're going out of time with it.
25:59You won't be hearing from me again except through my solicitors.
26:02Yes, all right.
26:03Mr Lewis! Goodbye, Mr Lewis.
26:05We are in the hands of the Spares Department, you understand.
26:08Yes, all right.
26:09Goodbye.
26:10Yes, all right.
26:11We'll give it a proper going over tomorrow when we get the new equipment.
26:14I won't starve.
26:15It should be safe for today,
26:17providing some raving lunatic doesn't start mucking about with it.
26:22Mr Spencer!
26:26I want overtime for this. That's another 30 minutes.
26:28Will you shut up?
26:29Well, we'll try it again.
26:40Good morning.
26:43I represent Lewis & Company.
26:50Betty.
26:51Oh, Frank.
26:53What happened? How did you get on?
26:54I didn't know what to do.
26:55I've been home and back five times while you've been in there.
26:57No, he's going to think about me.
26:59Oh, that sounds promising.
27:02It is promising, isn't it, Frank?
27:04Er, I don't really know. He's a funny sort of chap.
27:07Oh, never mind. I expect you made an impression.
27:10I think I did, yes.
27:12I'm not spending the rest of my weekend working just because of that twit!
27:15You're doing your very own job!
27:18And did they notice your briefcase?
27:20Oh, Mr Lewis's secretary couldn't stop looking at it.
27:23I think she was impressed.
27:26I mean, with that Spencer fella, none of this would ever have happened.
27:28Don't you worry. I'll get your compensation. I'll make Lewis pay.
27:32You see, Frank, all you need is a chillance.
27:35Once you get a start, you'll go right to the top.
27:38You think so?
27:39Oh, Frank, firms like that are crying out for people like you.
27:43If only I could find that shed door.
27:46You will, Frank. You will.
27:48I bet Mr Lewis is in that office right now just thinking about you.
27:54Knock, knock.
27:56Case, case.
27:58Card, card.
28:00Anyone can do it.