Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em - 102 [couchtripper][U]
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01:50Frank, I keep telling you, you don't have to keep jumping through the doors like that.
01:55They're perfectly safe.
01:57My mother wouldn't have liked all these gadgets.
02:00I'm sure she'd have managed very well.
02:04She wouldn't even wear a hearing aid.
02:06In case it blew her ear off.
02:09I don't know how she'd have got on in that toilet.
02:12I spent half an hour in there looking for the chain.
02:15Well, there isn't one.
02:17Didn't you see the button?
02:19Oh, I thought that was a fire alarm.
02:23Well, you know that George's boss is coming this afternoon.
02:27He's bringing a Mr. Fletcher to look around the house.
02:30So we don't want any more accidents.
02:33Oh, did George tell you about my accident?
02:37You mean the one in the afternoon or the one in the morning?
02:40The one in the evening.
02:42I was halfway in the bathroom and the door jammed.
02:45How did George know?
02:46He was halfway out.
02:48We were stuck together for 15 minutes.
02:51He only had his pyjamas on.
02:53It was very embarrassing.
02:55You're not the only one to get embarrassed.
02:58I've spent the last two days apologising for all your behaviour.
03:02And what did you do with the waste disposal unit?
03:05It bit me.
03:08Well, you shouldn't put your hand in it.
03:11I just wanted to see how it worked.
03:13Well, when you finished with it, it didn't.
03:15No.
03:16Now, I think it would be best for everyone
03:18if this afternoon you went out for a nice little walk.
03:22And then you won't upset George.
03:25I'll just put me slippers on.
03:28I don't want this on.
03:35LAUGHTER
04:06Well, this is ridiculous.
04:09Oh, well...
04:11I'll jam it.
04:14LAUGHTER
04:20But I haven't even...
04:23LAUGHTER
04:27I'll leave it.
04:31It's jammed flat, stuck it on.
04:34LAUGHTER
04:42Well...
04:44Maybe if I put...
04:46Ah, it's still going.
04:49What, Mr Fletcher come in and they'll get upset and I'll...
04:52The cistern.
04:54Where's...
04:56Oh.
04:58Oh.
05:06A minute.
05:10Look, if Frank makes you that nervous,
05:12we'll just have to keep him out of the way.
05:15We could always pretend he wasn't here.
05:17If only I...
05:19Now, what am I going to say to Betty?
05:21Now, look, I know you're telling her this.
05:23I've just been talking to Frank
05:25and he's decided that he's going to go out for a...
05:28George.
05:30What's the matter?
05:32Look, uh, look, Betty.
05:34Betty, it's about Mr Fletcher's visit.
05:36Now, look, I cannot afford to have him upset by anyone.
05:40You're talking about my Frank, aren't you?
05:42I thought we could pretend he wasn't here.
05:44Wasn't here?
05:46Well, it wouldn't be for long. Fletcher just wants a quick look round.
05:49It's nearly three now. He's got to be back in London by four.
05:52George, couldn't Frank stay in the bedroom?
05:55Oh, no. Fletcher will want to go upstairs as well.
05:58What about the cellar?
06:00You're not putting my Frank in the cellar!
06:03Betty, Betty, Fletcher builds houses.
06:07If he likes the equipment in this house,
06:09he could give our firm an order worth thousands.
06:12But if Frank does any harm...
06:14Oh, what harm could Frank possibly do?
06:23Oh, my God.
06:25It's the ball cock.
06:38My... My slippers.
06:44I can't... Her mother gave them to me.
06:48Oh!
06:51Look, my fair gown.
06:56Oh, God, look at this.
07:03It's brash, it's brash.
07:05Oh, can we...
07:10It's leaking now, it's leaking.
07:13Tools. I've got to get a pot.
07:17Oh!
07:35There.
07:37So, the tools. I'll get some tools.
07:41Please be reasonable, Betty. George has worked hard for this.
07:45Well, as it happens, Frank is going out for a nice little walk,
07:49so you won't have to worry about anything, will you?
07:52They're here.
07:54Well, let's just hope that Frank behaves himself.
07:57I don't know why you keep picking on him.
08:00All he ever wants to do is help.
08:04Tools, tools, tools.
08:07Tools.
08:13Right in my trouble.
08:18It's not big enough.
08:23Oh, God.
08:29Help.
08:38Oh!
08:49Morning. Good day.
08:51Oh, Frank, I thought you'd gone out.
08:53No, I've lost my slippers.
08:56Oh, never mind about that now. I'll ask about them later.
08:59Someone's bound to know where they are.
09:01I know where they are.
09:03They're down the toilet.
09:06How did they get down there?
09:08I don't know.
09:10They just went.
09:11Well, don't worry. Put some shoes on and trot off.
09:15The slippers are bound to come out somewhere or other.
09:18No, they won't. They're jammed.
09:21Oh, Frank, what's George going to say?
09:23If you've messed anything up, he'll go round the bend.
09:29I tried to hook them up with a toilet brush,
09:31but I pushed them round the pipe.
09:32Round the pipe?
09:34Yes. I had a bit of bad luck.
09:38With the cistern.
09:39Oh, Frank.
09:43I keep telling you, don't have to keep jumping through the doors like...
09:47Frank, look at all that water.
09:50Oh.
09:52Frank!
09:53It's all right. I'm going to mend it. Don't worry.
09:56It's a hedgehog!
09:58It's not a hedgehog.
10:01That's the head of the toilet brush.
10:05Oh, my God!
10:07What have you got down there?
10:09Just the head of the toilet brush,
10:12a pair of slippers,
10:14and a ball cap.
10:18Frank, what's George going to say?
10:21I don't know.
10:24This is Mr Fletcher of Fletcher Construction.
10:27Hello. Very nice to meet you.
10:29I'm admiring your plants.
10:30Oh, do you like plants, Mr Fletcher?
10:31I do indeed.
10:32I have a lovely one upstairs. Most unusual.
10:34Please come in.
10:36Hello, Jack.
10:37Nice to see you again, Catherine.
10:38Wow. This is swell. Really swell.
10:41George here is our chief designer.
10:43You know, we have to look after him.
10:45Shall we sit down?
10:46Oh, thank you.
10:48Allow me.
10:53Well, well, that's really something.
10:56Each item, chairs, doors, lights, etc.,
10:59is controlled by a separate circuit with duplicate controls.
11:02So you can shut down anyone separately if there's any trouble.
11:05Oh, which there won't be.
11:07No, no, no. Of course not. I was just explaining.
11:10I don't see any television.
11:12Ah, excuse me.
11:19You see, we tried to think of everything.
11:22Well, it could suit the kind of houses we're planning to build.
11:25Well, everything has took a way out of sight.
11:27You see, there's not a wire showing.
11:29The whole thing's foolproof.
11:30Oh, it is. It is.
11:37Now, well, come.
11:40Look, do you think George would notice if he just had a quick look?
11:44Well, he could hardly miss it, could he?
11:47It looks like a collection for a jumble sale.
11:50Look, you move outside for a minute
11:53and pretend you've just come in. Keep away from that door.
11:56Now, have a quick glance down and see if it catches your eye.
12:03Yes, it does catch my eye.
12:06Oh, Frank!
12:08I'll have to do something about this water as well.
12:11This pot was only a tempering measure.
12:14Oh!
12:16I'll have to tell George.
12:18He'd want to be kept up with developments.
12:20No, Frank, no! Don't tell George anything.
12:23You're not supposed to be here.
12:25But George knows I'm here. He invited me.
12:28He doesn't want anyone else to know that you're here.
12:32Well, in that case, I'll just have to undertake the job myself.
12:36It's lucky I was here.
12:41Now, I think you'll find this control room rather interesting, Mr Fletcher.
12:45Yeah, what the hell's that? Looks like a damn hammer.
12:48Yes, it does, doesn't it?
12:50Now, watch this.
12:52Now, this is for the man who wants to find his tools in a hurry.
12:56Oh!
12:58Well, I wouldn't be in that much of a hurry.
13:01Well, George likes his little joke.
13:04Why don't we all go and have a drink?
13:06That's a good idea. After you, Mr Fletcher.
13:09It's no good, Betty.
13:13Thank you. I'll mend it again.
13:16Now, I can't turn the water off anyhow.
13:18I'll have to sneak downstairs and see if I can find the mains.
13:21No, Frank. No, let me go.
13:24No, you're not... I don't want you to be seen.
13:27Well, no. You stay here in case anyone comes up.
13:31And when I come back, I'll sing to you.
13:35Frank?
13:40What did you say?
13:42I'll sing. Be like a password, see, so you'll know it's me.
13:45So if anyone comes up and they're not singing,
13:47you'll know not to let them in and make a noise.
13:49But if I come up and I am singing,
13:51then you'll know it's me and you can open the door.
13:53See?
14:05Ow.
14:13When I'm calling you...
14:19It's Mr Downer, isn't it? I'm Betty, George's sister.
14:22We're having a bit of trouble.
14:24A strange man went into the lavatory.
14:26Yes, there is a strange man in the lavatory.
14:28But everything's under control.
14:30Oh, but... I'm in.
14:32I got this, laddie.
14:42Ah!
14:44Ah!
14:46It's not!
14:48I've been in the hole, Betty!
14:52Betty!
14:56I've got to stop that.
14:59Oh, come.
15:01Get back up.
15:06George is rather proud of his garden, Mr Fletcher.
15:08You must let him show you around.
15:10I'd like that very much indeed.
15:12They do say it's going to rain.
15:14What?
15:16The sky's clear enough.
15:18It's probably a small cloud overhead.
15:27I've got to throw that...
15:35Ow!
15:37My head!
15:39My head!
15:46Wait a minute!
15:48I've got to throw that...
16:00Betty, I can see my slippers!
16:05Somebody up there doesn't like you.
16:08There's no one up there.
16:12That was just a gag.
16:14Why don't we all go upstairs now?
16:16No! Hey, George!
16:18I'll... I'll...
16:20Let's all have another drink.
16:22Hey, George! George!
16:24Mr Fletcher hasn't got a lot of time.
16:26Here. There's nothing wrong, is there?
16:28Good Lord, no.
16:30Well...
16:32Well, to be... to be frank...
16:35I... I must be frank.
16:40Frank?
16:42Oh, Frank!
16:44Well, let's be frank by all means.
16:46Don't worry.
16:48I shall attend to the frank matter.
16:50Excuse me.
16:52George, what's going on?
16:54Maybe he doesn't want us to go upstairs.
16:56No. I mean, yes. No, no.
16:58Come on, George.
17:00What the hell have you got up there?
17:02Frank!
17:06Frank!
17:08Get me out!
17:14I swallowed it.
17:16Oh, Betty!
17:18They won't let us stop him.
17:20They'll be up here in a moment and you're not supposed to be here.
17:22Look, hide in the bedroom.
17:24But what about all that?
17:26Well, I'll stay in here and I won't let anyone in.
17:28But, Billy, the water, it's mayhem in there.
17:30Sounds like Niagara coming down.
17:32What?
17:34I'll make a noise to cover it up.
17:36Look, hurry up, Frank.
17:44Now, this plant I was telling you about,
17:46this is my pride and joy.
17:50These are the bedrooms
17:52and there's a bathroom and separate lavatory.
17:54Oh, hello.
17:56I'm in here.
18:00What is that noise?
18:02In here.
18:06There's a lovely huge garden from here.
18:08Is everything running smoothly?
18:10Oh, fine, fine.
18:14George, now,
18:16don't forget to show Mr. Fletcher the bed.
18:18Yes, the bed, of course.
18:24I'm sorry, George.
18:26I've wet the bed.
18:30There we go.
18:32Did you say something, George?
18:34George, George, show Mr. Fletcher the bed.
18:38I'll show him the one in our room.
18:40They're all the same. Now, come along, everyone.
18:42We don't want to waste any time.
18:44That reminds me, I have to get back to town by four o'clock.
18:46I'm still in here.
18:50Look, I can't stay any longer.
18:52My men have to deal with the plant.
18:54My men have to deal with the plant.
18:56They've got some very equipment.
18:58They've got some very equipment.
19:02Hey, you!
19:04I want you done up there.
19:06No, don't do that.
19:08I want you done up there.
19:10I want you done up there.
19:12I want you done up there.
19:22You couldn't fix it, then?
19:24Fixed it!
19:26Fixed it!
19:28Look at it!
19:30I can't find the mains.
19:32If I could turn the water off, I'd be a happy man.
19:34If I could turn the water off, I'd be a happy man.
19:36Well, it could be in the control room under the stairs.
19:38The control room?
19:40No, but George doesn't want you in there.
19:42Well, we go together.
19:44Then we can look after each other.
19:46I think you'll find this rather interesting.
19:48Yeah, but I want to know, can we...
19:50No, George, George.
19:52Has he signed yet?
19:54Well, no, not yet.
19:56Max sure he does. Fast.
19:58Could I refer you to this little area here, which I feel could be surely...
20:04Betty, I think that ball's affecting my ears.
20:06I can hear...
20:08I can hear the sea.
20:10It's not the sea, Frank, look.
20:12Well, where's it all coming from?
20:14Where do you think it's coming from?
20:16Well, we've got to switch everything off.
20:18Look, don't you touch anything.
20:20There.
20:22Yeah, well, let's get down to business, by all means.
20:24I'll put it back.
20:26Yes, put it back.
20:28And I sign right here.
20:36Give him a chair.
20:38Get him a pen, you fool.
20:40Is that part of the whole deal? I don't think so.
20:42A pen, a pen.
20:44I'm not so keen on a pen.
20:46I can't find the mines anywhere.
20:48Wait a minute, what's this?
20:50No, Frank!
21:02You'll blow us all up. Put it back.
21:04No, nothing's happened. There's no harm done.
21:12Are you all right, Mr Fletcher?
21:14I feel kind of dizzy.
21:16Well, get him some brandy, for God's sake.
21:18Frank, you'll have to tell George.
21:20I'll try and keep this water away from these switches.
21:22No, don't touch it.
21:24You'll electrocute yourself.
21:26If you stay here, we're bound to be.
21:28No, well, this is a man's job.
21:30My foot, I've crossed my foot.
21:32Leave it alone, Frank.
21:34Let me take this brandy.
21:36You'll short me.
21:38I've got a metal giver, my zip.
21:42Switch, I'll switch.
21:44Give me the switch.
21:48George!
21:56We've got a shock!
21:58Frank, come on!
22:14Have you done it?
22:16We can't go! We can't go!
22:18Frank!
22:28George, look at George!
22:30It's all right, Frank. I've found the main lever.
22:40I need a kiss.
22:44Help! Stop it!
22:46Help!
22:52Fuck!
22:54That bloody lunatic!
22:56Let him down!
22:58Frank's had a terrible shock.
23:00We need to find the kiss of life.
23:02Don't bother.
23:06Oh, Frank.
23:08Oh, Frank, say something.
23:10I want to go home, Betty.
23:12I think we should overstay our welcome.
23:14Oh, Frank.
23:18My house.
23:20My lovely house.
23:22George, Frank's going to be all right.
23:24All right?
23:26He's never been all right.
23:28Let me get out of this greasy house.
23:30No, but can I explain?
23:32Get your goddamn hands off of me!
23:34You should be in a giggle factory.
23:36I can't tell people to stand there.
23:38Frank, go away.
23:40George!
23:42George!
23:44Crazy! Get me out of this crazy house!
23:46Come on!
23:48Wait a minute!
23:50Wait a minute!
23:58I've got to get Mr. Fletcher back in!
24:00Wait a minute! Mr. Fletcher!
24:02All right, darling.
24:04Do you think they noticed anything?
24:06No, I don't think so, Frank.
24:08Good.
24:36Good.