Taskmaster NZ Season 5 Episode 3
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00:00Hello.
00:01And two.
00:02Come on!
00:03Woohoo!
00:04That's for the haters.
00:05Come here.
00:06Come here.
00:07Take a little tea.
00:08Oh!
00:09Yeah!
00:10Kia ora koutou katoa and welcome to the second episode of Second Opinion.
00:39Season 5 of Taskmaster New Zealand.
00:42My name is Jeremy Wells and while you may have seen me playing Call of Duty Modern Warfare
00:473 under the pseudonym Deathlord69, here in this room I am known by the far more threatening
00:54title of the Taskmaster.
00:57Tonight five comedians will compete in a series of absurd and pointless tasks in a desperate
01:05bid to get their hands on this, a beautiful golden trophy made to look exactly like the
01:12head of late 90s television icon Newsboy.
01:17Competing for this trophy, and what remains of their dignity, we have Abby Howells, Ben
01:25Hurley, Hayes Sproul, and Tom Sainsbury.
01:33And tonight, representing Te Whingathepulea'i here in the studio, she's a winner of life
01:38and a loser of Taskmaster, Madeleine Sámi.
01:45And to my left is the person who answers the question, what if you combined Siri and Alexa
01:50and turned them into a single human man with sadness in his eyes?
01:54Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Williams!
01:57Alright, what's the first task of the show?
02:01As always, we begin with a prize task.
02:03We've asked each contestant to bring in the secret to their success.
02:09Okay, hmm.
02:12Some very successful people up on stage here.
02:14Let's start with Ben.
02:15Sure.
02:16The secret to my success is a VHS of the 1986 movie starring Michael J Fox, The Secret to
02:22My Success.
02:23I actually still have this, I taped this off TV, probably somewhere in the early 90s.
02:31Early 90s on a repeat.
02:33So it also has half an episode of Knight Rider.
02:36Hayley, what did you bring in?
02:38I've actually brought in my mother, in the 90s specifically.
02:43And just a moment for the haircut.
02:46But I'm not going to give you my mother because I still need her quite a bit.
02:49I want to give you an audio of her yelling at me to practice my scales every day on the
02:55piano.
02:56I think we have a little clip of her.
02:58Turn that TV off and get on that piano.
03:03Beethoven didn't have a TV and that's why he's Beethoven.
03:08You slam that piano lid one more time and you're not going to Jessica's party.
03:14I didn't get to go to Jessica's party.
03:17Is it weird to anyone else that Hayley's mum is former Mother of the Nation, Judy Bailey?
03:22Very similar.
03:23I don't know why, but I've got a Judy Bailey having sex with Hilary Barry sort of vibe
03:27when I look at her.
03:30From what I know about you, that is your dream.
03:34Yeah.
03:37Let's move on to Natalie.
03:40The secret to my success, it's my mortgage.
03:44Yeah, it's what keeps me up at night.
03:47It's what wakes me up in the morning.
03:48It's the reason I'm on the stage right now.
03:52And the winner gets to take it home.
03:55I just found a loophole.
03:58At least I win.
03:59Tom, what did you bring in?
04:01Well, every morning when I wake up at 5am and I've written out my gratitude journal
04:05and just done some meditation, I like to have a sip of my homemade kombucha.
04:12Oh, OK.
04:14But it's got some special ingredients, so I think we'll just look at the ingredients
04:17that we've got there.
04:18So we've got guilt, shame, narcissism, people pleasing and may contain traces of
04:23imposter syndrome.
04:24So that's what, you know, you just have a sip of that and you're away.
04:28Very neurotically.
04:30Should it glow in the dark like the rod at the start of The Simpsons?
04:32Yeah.
04:34Gives me that beautiful kind of glow, I think.
04:37Abby.
04:38Yes.
04:38What did you bring in?
04:40I brought in my autism assessment sheet.
04:47So I have it and I think my best qualities are my autistic qualities.
04:52I know heaps about cool stuff, like the Titanic and Phantom of the Opera.
04:57And I can't tell a lie and I take everything very literally.
05:02As part of the prize, does the autism come with or just the confirmation?
05:07You wish.
05:09I just want the Titanic knowledge.
05:11Yes, aye.
05:12Oh my gosh, honestly.
05:14Oh, you've started it.
05:15I want to get into it.
05:17It wasn't just the rich people that survived, eh?
05:19It wasn't, that's a bit of a fallacy.
05:21Yes, a lot of rich people died.
05:22A lot of the rich men actually died.
05:24Oh, boo.
05:25Yeah.
05:25Yeah.
05:27So devastating.
05:28Sometimes I make myself cry just thinking about being in that situation.
05:32You know, it's like you're on the boat and all the men are very gentle.
05:36Sorry.
05:37All the men are very gentle.
05:38No, the men were nice.
05:39The men were good.
05:40Men are nice, they get a rough time.
05:41There were some baddies though.
05:43Billy Zane's character.
05:45Yeah, he wasn't good.
05:46Yes, that's a really funny joke, but actually it's not historically accurate.
05:53Duh, Paul.
05:54Paul.
05:56Okay, should we score it?
05:58We should.
05:59Oh, one point's going to me, Madeline.
06:01Oh, no one wants that.
06:03It's just a bit of a downer with the mortgage.
06:05Ben's going to get two.
06:07Two.
06:08Hayley's going to get three.
06:10Okay.
06:10Four points for Tom.
06:13For the kombucha.
06:13And Abby's going to get five points.
06:16Let's get to the first proper task of the episode, shall we, Paul?
06:19Let's see how our contestants stack up in this one.
06:30Hi, PW.
06:31Hi, TS.
06:32You all right, Paul?
06:34Yes.
06:35Hello, Rainy Paul on a ball.
06:37Hello, Rainy Hayley on the lawn.
06:39It's a shame you couldn't be on the show.
06:42Hello, Rainy Hayley on the lawn.
06:44It's a shame you couldn't get that to rhyme.
06:46All right.
06:48Don't push that over, please.
06:52Remove the blocks from the tower and place them back on top.
06:55You must follow the instructions written on every block you remove.
06:59Blocks must be removed one at a time.
07:02Most blocks removed before the tower topples wins.
07:05You have 20 minutes or until the tower topples.
07:09Your time starts now.
07:11OK, I guess we're underway.
07:17So, am I allowed to say this is basically just a game of Jenga, isn't it?
07:21No.
07:22It's legally very different from Jenga.
07:25Jenga famously three blocks across.
07:28This is four, so it's a completely different thing.
07:30Totally.
07:31OK.
07:32Well, who are we going to see play this brand new game that you've invented?
07:36Up first, it's Hayley, Hurley and Howells.
07:41OK.
07:42Right.
07:45Give the next three blocks a name and introduce them to Paul.
07:49Paul, I'd like you to meet Diane.
07:52Hello, Diane.
07:53Diane's very well to do.
07:55Oh, that one came out nice and easy.
07:57Write a beautiful poem and read it out while removing the next block.
08:02Block, block, you never mock.
08:05Just like a nice warm sock.
08:09Barrel the camera as you remove the next block.
08:16I'd like you to meet Paulette.
08:18She's Diane's sister.
08:20She's also quite fancy.
08:21Quite racist as well.
08:23Sing a brand new original song about removing blocks.
08:27I love to remove blocks every day.
08:30I like to live my life in a precious way.
08:34Can I just do the poem in musical form?
08:37Block, block, you never mock.
08:39Just like a lovely warm sock.
08:42This is Gavin.
08:43Gavin is down and out.
08:45I've been there. I am there.
08:48The next block may only be pushed.
08:51The next block you remove must be yellow.
08:53Remove the next block with your feet.
08:56The next block you remove must be orange.
08:58Pat yourself on the back before removing the next block.
09:02Well done old chap.
09:04Remove the next block while standing at least one metre away.
09:12Remove the next block while repeatedly doing high kicks.
09:19Remove the next block standing on one leg.
09:22Remove the next block wearing a blindfold.
09:25Freeze for 20 seconds while halfway through removing the next block.
09:33Remove the next block while standing at least two metres away.
09:36Oh, come on.
09:38Can I have the tennis balls?
09:40Imagine if this just flies out.
10:03Oh!
10:05Oh!
10:07Oh no!
10:12Did you see that coming?
10:14Maybe one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.
10:17The risky one.
10:23Heads.
10:28Watch out.
10:31Oh, I didn't get it out.
10:33I still can't believe you threw the tennis ball and hit it out.
10:36I say this as a proud father of two daughters,
10:38but it's the greatest thing I've ever achieved.
10:47Unreal.
10:50I think I speak for everyone here.
10:52I say that is possibly the greatest thing that's ever happened
10:55in the history of New Zealand.
10:57To be honest, yeah, I kind of wanted to just retire from Taskmaster at that point.
11:01Like, leave on a high.
11:02Retire from life, man.
11:04Yeah, true.
11:05Valhalla awaits.
11:11Hayley, you were tasked at one stage with giving the blocks names.
11:15Yeah, Paulette and Diane.
11:17You ended up giving them full personalities with backstories.
11:19One was racist.
11:21Yes. I think that's Paulette. She's quite racist.
11:23She'll happily take you into the home if you are brown,
11:26but she'd like to take a photo.
11:30This is very triggering for me.
11:32Come, darling. I'll make you a fine sandwich, darling.
11:35I'll do anything for free food.
11:37There you go. I'm a stereotype.
11:39Abby, talk us through the creative process of writing the song
11:43I love to remove blocks every day.
11:45I like to live my life in a precious way.
11:49Quite a few times I would do a task
11:51and then come back and sit in my little room and think,
11:53am I insane?
11:57And that was one of those moments, I think.
12:00So the stats.
12:01Yes.
12:02Hayley removed 18 blocks.
12:04That's good.
12:05Ben, 20 blocks.
12:06OK, that's better. That's better.
12:08Abby, 28 blocks.
12:10Oh, my goodness.
12:11She was speedy.
12:12Oh, who's talking about the ball now?
12:15All right, well, that is the end of part one.
12:18Join us for part two in just a moment
12:20where our comedians will probably just be playing a game of Monopoly.
12:24We'll see you then.
12:38Kirikou to ano.
12:39Welcome back to Taskmaster,
12:41a show that is now witnessing a slow decline
12:44after it peaked when Ben Hurley threw a tennis ball.
12:48What are we doing now, Paul?
12:50Our comedians were removing blocks from a tower
12:53and following the tasks written on the blocks.
12:56We've seen Abby, Ben and Hayley,
12:58so now it's time for Tefinga and Tom to tackle the tumbling tower.
13:02Ooh!
13:03Yep.
13:04Right, Paul, to do the next block for you.
13:07I'll be your friend if you can move this block.
13:09What does that mean, be your friend?
13:11I never liked you right from the start.
13:13Ben, do it so you can help me with the tasks.
13:15I'll be a real friend, like a genuine friend,
13:17if you can move this block for me.
13:20Which block?
13:21That one there.
13:23Remove the next block wearing a blindfold.
13:28The next block you remove must be green.
13:32Oh.
13:33Put this block back where you found it.
13:37OK, next one.
13:39Borrow the camera as you remove the next block.
13:46LAUGHTER
13:50Remove the next block while standing...
13:53One metre away.
14:08Are you serious?
14:16Yeah!
14:18I've stabbed the clock.
14:19Are you kidding me?
14:21It was quite a strong wind, but you did take one of the bottom blocks.
14:27Are you happy with that?
14:29No.
14:32Don't stab the duck.
14:33I'm not going to stab the duck.
14:35Hi, honey.
14:36APPLAUSE
14:40Be honest, Tom, were you going to stab that duck?
14:42Yeah, pretty much.
14:44The wind was against me.
14:46I refused to lose.
14:48How many blocks did Tom end up getting?
14:50Tom, three blocks.
14:53Tofinga, six blocks.
14:55OK.
14:56How many friends did you get?
14:58One.
14:59Did you?
15:00That was a big day for you.
15:01Do you guys keep in touch now?
15:03Let's just say it might not be by blood, but we are brothers.
15:06LAUGHTER
15:08APPLAUSE
15:10That's beautiful.
15:12OK, so how are we going to score that?
15:14That means one point for Tom, two points for Tofinga,
15:18three points for Hayley, four points for Ben,
15:21and five points for Abbey.
15:23APPLAUSE
15:25That's good.
15:26OK.
15:27So where does that leave our scores for the episode so far, Paul?
15:31Great question, Jeremy.
15:32Out in first, with a perfect ten points, it's Abbey Howells.
15:36APPLAUSE
15:39All right.
15:40What do you reckon about showing us another task then, Paul?
15:43I reckon, great idea, Jeremy.
15:45I enjoyed this task more than anything in the world
15:48and I simply cannot wait to relive it.
15:59Ma'am?
16:00To you, sir.
16:01Knock, knock.
16:02Who's there?
16:03Orange.
16:04Orange who?
16:05Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
16:07I never said banana.
16:08Oh.
16:09Right, let's do this.
16:10Relive the best moment of your life.
16:13Most amazing reliving of the best moment wins.
16:18You have 30 minutes, your time...
16:20Starts...
16:21Now.
16:23Oh, man.
16:25That was the best moment of my life.
16:28APPLAUSE
16:31So, are we doing the reliving here?
16:35Am I going to be judging the reliving part
16:37or are we judging the best moment?
16:39Who had the best moment?
16:40Best reliving.
16:41OK, right.
16:42All right, let's get stuck into it then.
16:44Meeting this person was a top five moment of my life.
16:47It's Hayley Sproul.
16:50Best moments of my life.
16:52Meeting my fiancée.
16:55Meeting your fiancée.
16:57Yeah, I hate women, don't I?
16:58I like that.
16:59Although I will say one of my best moments was meeting your fiancée.
17:03That was one of the best moments of your life?
17:06Let's do the moment I met my fiancée.
17:08OK, this is how it happened.
17:10I was sitting in a drama school meeting
17:12and he walked in and he's six foot six
17:14and I went like this.
17:16And then my friend looked at me and laughed
17:19and then I turned to her and I said,
17:21that's mine.
17:22OK, OK.
17:24All right.
17:25Bit of a warm-up.
17:27Before my scene in King Lear.
17:30My liege!
17:31My liege!
17:34Fausseuse, my liege!
17:35That's it.
17:36That's it.
17:37Now she's found it.
17:38Fausseuse, my liege!
17:55Mine.
17:57Mine.
17:58I wish somebody would come smoke a cigarette with me
18:01out on the smoker's steps.
18:03I will.
18:06OK.
18:08That's a big boy.
18:10That's a big boy.
18:15Wow.
18:18So Hayley, you went from hating women
18:21who say that their greatest moment was meeting their fiancée
18:24to actually re-enacting it with Paul.
18:26Well, I felt terrible for saying it
18:28because love is lovely, isn't it?
18:30And then Paul was so fizzed over my fiancée as well.
18:33I was like, well, let's do a fantasy for both of us.
18:37I didn't get why you were dressed like an apprentice witch.
18:42Because it's drama school.
18:43Where did you study drama, Hogwarts?
18:47Honestly, not that dissimilar.
18:49So who have we got next, Paul?
18:51Meeting this person was a top five moment of my life.
18:54It's Abby Howells.
18:57What was the best moment of my life?
19:00I know what it is.
19:01It was when I played the lion in my high school production
19:05of The Wizard of Oz.
19:08I came out at the end and I got, like, the biggest cheer.
19:11And my mum actually told me afterwards
19:13that I needed to tone it down a bit when I came out.
19:16But I didn't.
19:18The other cast members might watch this
19:20and they might think that you got bigger cheers.
19:22It was the lion's share, baby. Everybody know it.
19:25Okay.
19:26Okay. Let's do it.
19:53More lion, more lion.
19:56Did someone say more lion?
20:06Lion, lion, lion, lion, lion.
20:14Good morning.
20:15Really great.
20:16If that was a true reflection of what actually happened,
20:18I'd totally see what your mother was saying.
20:22I've never seen someone so happy with themselves.
20:25All my life.
20:26Yeah, that's what my mum said.
20:29Did you do the voice, like in the movie?
20:31100% I did the voice.
20:32Can we get a little taste of it?
20:35Put him up, put him up.
20:37Oops. Good.
20:39Paul, so far we've had two drama students hooking up
20:42and one of them getting a round of applause.
20:44Do you think maybe we should go to one of the comedians
20:46who's actually had a child or something?
20:48Meeting this person was one of the top five moments of my life.
20:51It's Tofinga Fepelea'i.
20:54Best moment of my life?
20:58Having my kids.
20:59Having your kids do what?
21:01Can they report?
21:02Oh.
21:03You can be my wife.
21:05Okay.
21:06Use the bed upstairs.
21:08Okay.
21:10To film the thing, not to mate the baby,
21:13but, you know, you giving birth to the baby.
21:16Okay.
21:17Okay?
21:18Aren't you excited? I'm really excited.
21:20It's our first child.
21:21I'm excited.
21:22So excited.
21:23Ah.
21:26You're doing fine.
21:27Ah.
21:28Yeah.
21:29Ah.
21:31I can see the feet.
21:32I can see the feet, yeah.
21:33Ah.
21:34Oh.
21:36Wow.
21:37Hey, he looks like his mum.
21:40Okay.
21:41What do you feel with your neighbour?
21:45I'm not sure.
21:48He's beautiful.
21:51Round two.
21:52If you can make it quick.
21:53Okay.
21:54Because there's an important rugby game.
21:55Oh.
21:57Wow.
21:58Our second son.
22:00Last one.
22:01Should be easy peaches like that.
22:02Just one push and boom.
22:05Ah.
22:07Oh, let's come back in.
22:08Let's go again.
22:09Ah.
22:14Hey.
22:16Wow.
22:17Most incredible moment of my life.
22:20I'll tell you what, that was my second time on Taskmaster New Zealand giving birth after
22:29I gave birth to Angela Dravid in season one.
22:32And I'll tell you what, it doesn't get any easier.
22:36I really enjoy the angelic way in which you screamed the pain.
22:41Ah.
22:42Yeah.
22:43Very interesting interpretation of how a woman gives birth to a child.
22:47Well, in fairness, I've only been at one birth.
22:49Right.
22:50And I was very young.
22:54I was split seconds old.
22:55Yeah.
22:56I'd love to see more, but it's time for me to enjoy the best moment of my life, which
23:00is throwing to an ad break during Taskmaster for the 47th time.
23:04Here we go.
23:05It's time for the ads.
23:20Welcome back to Taskmaster.
23:21Before the break, we were watching comedians re-enact the best moments of their lives,
23:25and it turns out they haven't done much.
23:28Who have you got next for me, Paul?
23:30Meeting this person was a top five moment of my life.
23:33It's Tom Sainsbury.
23:37It's the best moment of my life.
23:39Do you know what it was?
23:40What?
23:41I don't know if we can do this legally.
23:42Can we re-enact Little Ship of Horrors?
23:44We could probably do like a...
23:46Version of it.
23:47Were you in the play?
23:48No, I was watching it.
23:49Oh, you watched the play.
23:50I watched it as an eight-year-old, and it stuttered me on my...
23:53It fired off everything in my brain.
23:56Okay.
23:57Okay, let's do this.
23:59Where did you come from, strange little plant?
24:03Please get bigger for me.
24:13Please get bigger for me.
24:25Please, Paul Moore, give me plasma.
24:33It's so funny.
24:35I'm a Venus flytrap from deep in the galaxy.
24:42I want you inside me, Paul Moore.
24:44I want you inside me.
24:54Small boutique terror.
24:59Woo-hoo!
25:06Wow, this theatre thing is amazing, Papa.
25:09I think I've been put on a different path in this lifetime.
25:21I would like to say, for legal reasons, that was not Little Shop of Horrors.
25:25It was, what was it called?
25:26Small Boutique of Terrors.
25:27That's right.
25:30I was in a production of Little Shop of Horrors.
25:32Me too.
25:33For Onehunga High School.
25:34It was pretty cool.
25:35Same, Harbour High School?
25:36Yeah.
25:37I was the dentist, but I guess in your production I'd be like the podiatrist or something.
25:40Yeah.
25:41No, the orthodontist.
25:42I've never been in it.
25:44Oh, we should do it, all of us.
25:46Stay tuned for tickets for our performance of Little Shop of Horrors.
25:50I absolutely can't wait for that.
25:52What was it?
25:53What was it?
25:54What was it?
25:55What was it about Little Shop of Horrors?
25:56A horror?
25:59A shop?
26:00A shop.
26:01No.
26:02The musical element to it, a play, a horror, in the play they all get eaten by the plant
26:07and that just...
26:08Spoiler.
26:11That just wonderfully excited me.
26:12Can a vegetarian eat a carnivorous plant?
26:15Oh, good.
26:16It's self-defence.
26:21Wouldn't it be?
26:22It ought to be self-defence.
26:23If you got eaten by a broccoli...
26:24If I got eaten by a broccoli, I'd be like, it was worth it.
26:28Me too.
26:29Me too.
26:30So we've only got one comedian left and I know that he has two beautiful, healthy children,
26:35so I think it's safe to assume he's going to relive that.
26:40Meeting this person...
26:44I've met him.
26:47It's Ben.
26:49The best moment of my life was when I knocked that Jenga thing out with a tennis ball.
27:01Man, that was quite something.
27:04We've got the blocks.
27:06Yeah.
27:07And the ball.
27:09Okay.
27:11Good luck, Ben Hurley.
27:13You'll never be able to knock a block out of a tower with a tennis ball from way back there.
27:17Darn you, Paul.
27:18Why do you got to make these tasks so gosh darn hard?
27:22Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
27:45That's the kind of thing I do all the time.
27:49It's unbelievably cool.
27:53There's nothing left for me here now.
27:58Good luck with all your future endeavours, earthlings.
28:04Thought so.
28:06Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
28:21Okay, so everyone's seen what happened earlier on in the episode.
28:25Now we've seen your remembering of it, and everyone's seen the other.
28:28You think the two, can you see how they might not?
28:31Really, in life, there is no true objectivity, Jeremy.
28:35Everything is seen through a lens, and that was my lens.
28:39I feel like the second one was objectively worse.
28:42I agree.
28:43It's sort of like doing a remake of a movie too soon.
28:46You know what I mean?
28:47Give it time.
28:48Yeah, we need like 20 years in between, not just straight away.
28:51It almost makes the first task seem shit now.
28:54Do you know what I mean?
28:55Hey!
28:56You're right, actually.
28:57You don't even go here.
28:58Sorry, I don't even go here.
28:59I'll go, I'll go.
29:01How do you want to score it?
29:02This is going to be quite difficult.
29:04I think Ben definitely gets one point.
29:08Because I just saw the original, and there's just nothing like it.
29:12It's too fresh.
29:13There's nothing there for me.
29:15Toffinger, I will give two points to.
29:17I thought it was a great performance, but there were three moments.
29:20I think, Hayley, three points for you.
29:22Great turnaround on what you thought was how you hated people that did things,
29:26and you became one of those people very quickly, so I appreciate that.
29:29Tom, I think four points for The Little Shop of Horrors.
29:32And, Abby, five points.
29:35Well done, Abby.
29:37Thank you, Hayley.
29:38Well done.
29:39It was very moving.
29:40It was very moving.
29:41Yes, believe me.
29:42Okay, I'm about ready for another task.
29:43You got something for me, Paul?
29:44It's time for the first team task of the season.
29:48But also, it's time for the first top secret mission of the season.
29:54Hi, Paul.
29:55Hello, Ben.
29:56Hello, Paul.
29:57Hello, Abby.
29:58What do I do?
29:59Oh, in here?
30:00Yeah.
30:01Over here.
30:02Look.
30:03Oh.
30:04He got really nervous.
30:05Be the most excited to meet your new family member.
30:08Okay.
30:09Okay.
30:10Okay.
30:11Okay.
30:12Okay.
30:13Okay.
30:14Okay.
30:15Okay.
30:16Okay.
30:17Okay.
30:18Okay.
30:19Okay.
30:20Okay.
30:21Okay.
30:22Be the most excited to meet your teammates.
30:25They can't know about this task.
30:27One person on the other team has received this task.
30:30If you're more excited than them, your team wins.
30:33Your time starts when you meet your teammates.
30:36Do you understand the task?
30:37Be excited?
30:38Yeah.
30:39Woo!
30:42Quite excited?
30:43Yeah.
30:44No problem.
30:45No problem.
30:47I'm quite excitable.
30:49Okay.
30:50I'm going.
30:51Thank you, Ben.
30:52Woo!
30:56Hey, Paul.
30:57Ciao, Torfinger.
30:58Hi, Paul.
30:59Ciao, Hayley.
31:00Hello.
31:03Hi.
31:04Hello.
31:06Hi.
31:08No surprise?
31:09Hi.
31:10Big fan.
31:11Big fans.
31:12Yeah.
31:13Do you have a task for me?
31:14I do.
31:15Can I have it?
31:16Not quite.
31:17Why not?
31:18This is the best.
31:19This is the best.
31:20Woo!
31:21Not too bad.
31:22No.
31:23Hi.
31:24Hello.
31:25Hi.
31:26I'm Evie.
31:27Nice to meet you.
31:28Hello.
31:29So lovely to meet you.
31:30Nice to meet you.
31:31What a cute outfit.
31:32Your outfit looks so nice.
31:33You're looking for such cute outfits.
31:34Yeah.
31:35I love it.
31:36Did I?
31:37Boo!
31:38Did I?
31:39Boo!
31:40Boo!
31:41Boo!
31:42Boo!
31:43Boo!
31:44Boo!
31:45Boo!
31:46Boo!
31:47Boo!
31:48Boo!
31:49Boo!
31:50Boo!
31:51Did we just become best friends?
31:52Yeah!
31:53Nice to meet you.
31:54Nice to meet you as well.
31:55Nice to meet you.
31:56So nice.
31:57Oh my God.
31:58I feel a little sheepish.
31:59I know.
32:00Break dancing.
32:01What the hell are you doing?
32:02Break dancing.
32:03I'm so happy.
32:04Pow!
32:05Do you know when you hugged me, you popped my bra strap?
32:08That's how excited we are.
32:11I see it there.
32:13Yep.
32:14That's for real.
32:15So, before I score that, how do you think you went, Abby?
32:25I got stage fright, because I'd never met Toppinger before, and I was like, oh, he's
32:31going to think you're a big, silly goose if you go, oh, oh, oh, oh.
32:35It was already an awkward situation when Tom had walked in, and then by the time you arrived
32:39there, there was, like, triple awkward going on.
32:42Well, you think Captain Autism is going to make that less awkward?
32:45Yeah.
32:46What'd I do, baby?
32:50So, Hayley, how do you feel about Ben now that you've watched that?
32:53Honestly, so betrayed.
32:59I wouldn't have done the streamer or the breakdancing, but I would have done everything else, normally.
33:03It all just feels like a lie to me now, and I don't trust you anymore.
33:07That's a good old-fashioned trouncing, that one.
33:09That's...
33:10How do you want to score it?
33:111-5 trouncing.
33:12There's no other way you can do it.
33:14So, 1 for...
33:15Abby and her team.
33:16Tom and Toppinger, yeah.
33:17I'm sorry, team.
33:18And then she's a 5 for Ben and Hayley, because that was next level from Hayley.
33:21Really, it was a lie.
33:22Is this the first time you've not got an A?
33:27She was perfect this episode.
33:29Oh, is this the first time you've talked to a woman?
33:35Second, and the first one's underwear fell off.
33:43So, that's not the team task, obviously.
33:45No, of course.
33:46So, I actually can't wait to find out what the actual team task is.
33:49And we're going to learn together in a few minutes.
33:51Act excited.
33:52It's another ad break.
33:53We'll see you soon with more Taskmaster.
34:05Welcome back to Taskmaster.
34:07What's going on, Paul?
34:08We are in the midst of our first team task,
34:11which began with a secret mission to act excited.
34:15Ben acted extremely excited,
34:17and I think Abby forgot about the secret mission.
34:20Right, can we see the actual task now, please, Paul?
34:23Si.
34:27Make a leaning tower of dry pasta.
34:30If you break one of the three secret rules,
34:34you must step away from the tower,
34:36and Paul will trigger a punishment.
34:38You cannot interfere with the punishment devices.
34:41Best and most leaning pasta tower wins.
34:44You have 25 minutes.
34:45Your time starts now.
34:46Oh, my God, you didn't delay.
34:47I always delay before I say your time starts now,
34:49so I can think about it for free.
34:51I do too, usually, but I'm just...
34:52OK, what have you done?
34:53I'm so excited it's Hayley.
34:57So, what's the idea here?
35:00We've got pasta, I heard pasta, and I heard secret rules.
35:03Yes, so the aim is to make the best and most leaning tower,
35:07but that is made harder if they break my secret rules.
35:11How do they know about the secret rules?
35:13They don't know about the secret rules.
35:15That's why they're secret.
35:16That's mean.
35:23So, we don't know the rules, Paul?
35:25No.
35:26If we accidentally break one, there's a punishment.
35:28Yeah, OK.
35:29Step back, please.
35:33Can we leave the lab?
35:35Oh, yeah, good idea.
35:36Make a leaning tower of dried pasta.
35:38Step back, please.
35:39Oh, no.
35:42So, that's one of them, you can't leave the lab.
35:44I didn't say that.
35:45What about, like, a pyramid?
35:47Step back, please.
35:50Is it, like, P words or something?
35:53The problem with pasta is it's dried, so...
35:55Step back, please.
35:58OK.
36:00You're just going to not talk any more?
36:03It's not talking.
36:05We know it's not talking, Paul.
36:07Oh, for...
36:10We can't say another P word, either.
36:13Oh, penis.
36:15Step back, please.
36:17Everything started with that letter, eh?
36:19Don't say Paul again.
36:20No, it's P words.
36:21Pyramid, Paul.
36:23Pasta, see?
36:25It's all right, we're in purgatory.
36:27Oh, for God's sake!
36:29OK, you've figured it out.
36:30Where would you recommend on the seam?
36:33Seam of what?
36:34The seam of the two...
36:36Materials.
36:38You're not going to get us that easily, Paul.
36:43Sorry, everyone.
36:44Is there going to be stuff on the outside now?
36:46Like little...
36:47Po.
36:49Step back, please.
36:50Oh, Hayley.
36:51Tom, this is excellent.
36:53Mamma mia, this tower has really taken shape.
36:58That is so sturdy.
36:59That's not going anywhere.
37:00Not going nowhere.
37:03Step back, please.
37:06Oh, come on!
37:10I don't think we're allowed to touch.
37:12You and me?
37:13Mm.
37:14What about our undeniable chemistry?
37:16I know!
37:17And afterwards, we can cook it.
37:18Just like how my nonna does back in Italy.
37:22It's architecturally interesting, I think.
37:26Step back, please.
37:3012 minutes.
37:33Friend?
37:34What do we do?
37:35How do we play the role?
37:36I don't know.
37:37I think that guy was just being a prick.
37:39Mm.
37:40Oh!
37:41Oh.
37:46If we just put the things in...
37:52What are you...?
37:53Oh!
37:55Wow!
37:57Ooh.
37:58And that's got a lane?
37:59Mamma mia, what a tower.
38:05Mm.
38:06It's...
38:1040 seconds.
38:12Stay.
38:13Let's try and get a bit more height.
38:1516 seconds.
38:16I'm going to try.
38:17I'm going to try.
38:19Oh!
38:20Oh, perfect.
38:21Yes!
38:22It's definitely bleeding.
38:25I mean, now we just...
38:27Just make it look pretty.
38:32Bring it on!
38:37We did it!
38:38Yeah!
38:39Can you tell us the third rule?
38:41No.
38:42OK.
38:43He never says anything.
38:44No.
38:53APPLAUSE
38:55OK.
38:56So, am I meant to judge them before
38:58or after they're hit by that wrecking ball?
39:00Before.
39:01OK.
39:02So, the third rule was if they spoke in an Italian accent,
39:05a giant meatball would swing down and destroy their tower.
39:08Oh!
39:09So, I was kind of trying to prompt them...
39:12You were?
39:13Just made you look like a psycho.
39:15No, yes.
39:16It was about the leaning tower.
39:18The idea was that it was the best leaning tower, wasn't it?
39:20Yes.
39:21And I thought that Abbey, Tom and Tefinga's one
39:24actually looked slightly like that.
39:26I mean, it looked like a giant phallus coming out of the leaning tower.
39:29Here's the...
39:30There's a phallic part to it slightly on the right there,
39:32you've got to say.
39:33Works good.
39:34I would like to point out that we used nothing but pasta.
39:37We didn't have glue or tape or any kind of aid.
39:39That was just a self-contained pasta structure.
39:42That's a rubber band.
39:46Made entirely from slightly sucked pasta.
39:50OK, I will go two points for Hayley and Ben
39:53and four points for Abbey, Tefinga and Tom, OK?
39:57Glue.
39:58Glue and tape.
39:59Glue and tape, who knew?
40:00Glue and tape.
40:01So now that we've followed the three rules of Pasta Towers,
40:04it's time for you to follow the three rules of advertising.
40:06Buy, buy, buy.
40:08We'll see you after this.
40:21Tena koutou.
40:22Welcome back to Taskmaster.
40:24It's almost time for our live task, which could decide it all,
40:27but first, Paul, how's our scoreboard looking tonight?
40:30In first place, it's Abbey Howells on 20 points.
40:37Interesting.
40:38Everyone, please make your way to the stage for the live task.
40:46OK, Paul, who's reading the task tonight?
40:49Madeline Sami on behalf of Tefinga.
40:51Thank you so much.
40:52And can I just say it's a privilege to be here and...
40:55Go, season one, Taskmaster!
40:57OK, here we go.
40:58Fan out your flame.
41:00You cannot move from or move your mat.
41:04You may not throw items.
41:06If your candle falls, you are disqualified.
41:09Fastest fanned out flame wins.
41:14Contestants ready?
41:15Yes.
41:19Feet back, Tom, foot back.
41:22Hayley, foot back, please.
41:29Hayley, Hayley, foot back.
41:32Tom, foot on the mat, please.
41:34Come on, Mads, come on, Mads, be a friend.
41:36Come on, Mads.
41:38Foot back.
41:50Ah!
41:52Are we going to battle out for one point?
41:54Oh, no, yeah, I will.
41:56You couldn't have scripted this, Jeremy.
41:58It's nerd versus jock.
42:04Oh, my gosh.
42:06Go out!
42:09She's practising sorcery.
42:13Yeah, this is...
42:20LAUGHTER
42:23You're flaming it, you're inflaming it, you're adding oxygen.
42:26Oh, no!
42:28APPLAUSE
42:32Abby, would you like to blow out your flame?
42:36LAUGHTER
42:40CHEERING
42:42Come back down and let's see how that's affected the scores.
42:46APPLAUSE
42:49CHEERING
42:54So, based on that live task, Abby gets one point,
42:58Ben gets two, Tom gets three, four for Hayley,
43:01and the winner of the live task with five points,
43:04representing Tofinga, was Madeline Sami.
43:07CHEERING
43:09Well done.
43:11Great use of the jacket. Thank you.
43:13OK, so where do we sit, though, for the episode?
43:15Our winner by one point.
43:17Second place was Hayley, first place is Abby Howells.
43:21Congratulations, Abby.
43:23You're now the proud owner of five success-inducing secrets.
43:27Go up and enjoy your bounty, please.
43:29So close! Well done, Abby.
43:31Thank you for joining us for another episode of Taskmaster tonight.
43:35We've learned how important it is to really make something of your life
43:39so that your single greatest achievement
43:41isn't watching an amateur production of Little Shop of Horrors
43:44or chucking a tennis ball at a block of wood.
43:47But most importantly,
43:49we've learned that the winner of Taskmaster Season 5, Episode 2,
43:53is Abby Howells.
43:55CHEERING
43:57I've been Jeremy Wells. We'll see you next time.
43:59Goodnight. Ka kite anō.
44:01CHEERING
44:04CHEERING
44:17OK, Paul, should we get down to business?
44:24That's five points from me.
44:27Yes! You're under arrest!
44:29He can't help with being alpha.