1987 Real Men FULL HOT MILF MOVIE
A womanizing CIA agent and an insecure insurance agent are paired together to make sure a deal goes through with aliens for the future of mankind.
Transcript
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00:01:21rrohrro wrrrrrr
00:01:23He's dead.
00:01:24How could something like this happen?
00:01:26Keep your voice down.
00:01:28An inside job.
00:01:30Our own people? C.I.A.?
00:01:32It would have to be.
00:01:34This was just a run-through.
00:01:36What are we gonna do next Friday night?
00:01:38Pillbox was the one they expected to make the exchange.
00:01:40It's worse than that. Whoever killed him got the map.
00:01:42We have to get that map back.
00:01:44If our courier isn't in exactly the right spot,
00:01:46there'll be no exchange.
00:01:48They'll just keep on going.
00:01:50Well, what'll we do?
00:01:52They'll pass the map several times
00:01:54before they try to get it to D.C. for the exchange.
00:01:56We'll have to intercept it.
00:01:58We'll send in Pirandello.
00:02:00We're not gonna let him loose.
00:02:02Why not? He's the best we've got.
00:02:04He's always one step ahead of everybody else.
00:02:06He's uncontrollable. He's a wild man.
00:02:08His methods are totally unpredictable.
00:02:10I don't care. He'll get the job done.
00:02:13I'll give you what you want.
00:02:15Deliver it.
00:02:17Here you go, young man.
00:02:19Oh, thank you.
00:02:21Thank you.
00:02:23You're welcome.
00:02:25Thanks.
00:02:30Here's some perks for you.
00:02:32Just cook it before you eat it.
00:02:34That's not me. That's for you.
00:02:36Just take care of it.
00:02:38I'll buy you some.
00:03:08Yes!
00:03:30You okay? It didn't hurt you, did it?
00:03:32There you go.
00:03:34Sit down. Relax. Let's talk.
00:03:37Jesus Christ!
00:03:39You're Nick Pirandello.
00:03:41You're the guy who went in and took out the Russians' V-47.
00:03:44Don't make a big thing out of it.
00:03:46Oh, man. It's an honor to meet you.
00:03:48I saw you make the pass,
00:03:50and I want to know where you're gonna pick up the map.
00:03:53I think you understand I can't tell you that.
00:03:55Frankly, no, I don't understand.
00:03:57I want to be every bit the agent that you are.
00:04:00Ha-ha-ha!
00:04:02Ha-ha-ha!
00:04:07Oh!
00:04:09Just swallow that.
00:04:14What did I just swallow?
00:04:16That's the 607 new painful death kit.
00:04:18It's an interrogation technique.
00:04:20You see, the theory behind it is
00:04:22that with that kind of painful death in front of you,
00:04:24you'll do anything to get the antidote.
00:04:26Care to?
00:04:28What kind of a painful death?
00:04:30What difference does it make? You're tough!
00:04:32You're not gonna talk?
00:04:34You're not gonna let me die some horrible death, are you?
00:04:37Sure I am!
00:04:39We're both Americans!
00:04:41Well, you got about another minute before you, uh...
00:04:44die.
00:04:46Here. You might want to lay down.
00:04:48It'll make it much easier on you.
00:04:50Easier?
00:04:52Nah, you're right. Probably not.
00:04:54Forget what I said. So anyway...
00:04:56All right, all right!
00:04:58I'm supposed to go to the Hideaway Hotel, room 505.
00:05:01Okay.
00:05:03Hey! What about the antidote?
00:05:05What antidote?
00:05:07The poison!
00:05:09What poison? Where's your button?
00:05:11♪
00:05:41♪
00:06:01Russians.
00:06:03♪
00:06:33♪
00:07:03♪
00:07:13♪
00:07:23♪
00:07:33♪
00:07:43♪
00:07:53♪
00:08:05You've done your country a great service.
00:08:07Would you like me to do it again?
00:08:09Maybe later.
00:08:11Here.
00:08:13Take care of it.
00:08:23Hey, did you get the map?
00:08:25Yeah, I got the map.
00:08:28I'm with them.
00:08:30We've got the map, and you'll never get it back.
00:08:33Henderson was with them?
00:08:35Yeah. He didn't get the map.
00:08:37What was that?
00:08:39It was a message, telling them to give up.
00:08:41I know who their leaders are.
00:08:43Who are their leaders?
00:08:45I don't know.
00:08:47Okay, Nick. Tell you what we do now.
00:08:49We go to the Hideaway Hotel, room 505.
00:08:51We go to the Hideaway Hotel, room 505.
00:08:53We go to the Hideaway Hotel, room 505.
00:08:55Tell you what we do now.
00:08:57Part of the agency is broken off.
00:08:59They want...
00:09:01Yeah. And they've got...
00:09:03Most of the agency, the boys in the street,
00:09:05budget, personnel, support in the state.
00:09:07There's more.
00:09:09Russians are on to it.
00:09:11That's right, Nick. Now, we can't let this happen.
00:09:13Here. Look at this.
00:09:15Looks like pillbox.
00:09:17How'd you know it wasn't pillbox?
00:09:19There's a certain weakness in the eyes.
00:09:21He's a lookalike.
00:09:23The computer pulled him.
00:09:25Looks like a paper pusher.
00:09:27Yeah. In an insurance company.
00:09:29Nick, they're expecting pillbox,
00:09:31and it's too late for us to switch him with someone else now.
00:09:33We need somebody to escort him.
00:09:35You've been in touch with him,
00:09:37so you know how important this thing is.
00:09:39His name's Bob Wilson.
00:09:41We want you to get him to Washington by Friday
00:09:43for the 8 o'clock rendezvous.
00:09:45You want me to train him?
00:09:47No. You're pulling him out of his environment, Nick.
00:09:49That can be a big strain on him.
00:09:51He gets confused when they find out what's really going on.
00:09:53Nick, watch out for him.
00:09:55Circle back for him.
00:09:57Baby him along a little.
00:09:59Build up his confidence.
00:10:01You want me to be sensitive to this guy's feelings?
00:10:03And his life, yeah.
00:10:07Promise me you'll try?
00:10:09I'll try.
00:10:13What kind of guy is he?
00:10:15Average.
00:10:17Maybe a little less.
00:10:21I don't know.
00:10:51♪
00:11:21What is it?
00:11:23Bob,
00:11:25those kids that hang around the Magruder's garage,
00:11:27they yelled terrible things at Heather
00:11:29when she came home from school.
00:11:31You know what they said to me, Dad?
00:11:33And Bobby's new bike is missing.
00:11:35They stole it, Dad.
00:11:37You don't know that, son.
00:11:39You can't go around making accusations.
00:11:41You can't prove.
00:11:43I think you should go down there and talk to them.
00:11:45Yeah, Dad.
00:11:47Go down there and kick their butts.
00:11:49We're civilized people, Bobby.
00:11:51We don't kick people's butts.
00:12:05Hi, guys.
00:12:09You haven't seen a two-wheeled bicycle
00:12:11that belongs to my son Bobby, have you?
00:12:13No. Your kid lost his bike or what?
00:12:15Yeah, it disappeared.
00:12:17I thought it might be down here.
00:12:19That pink one right over there looks a lot like his.
00:12:21No, that's Oph's bike.
00:12:23Oph?
00:12:25Yeah.
00:12:27Looks a little small for Oph, don't you think?
00:12:29Yeah, well, you know, Oph likes a small bike.
00:12:31But listen, your kid lost his bike, huh?
00:12:33Yeah.
00:12:35Well, Oph's got this new bike.
00:12:37You need a bike,
00:12:39we got a bike we don't need.
00:12:41You want me to ask Oph if he'll sell you the bike?
00:12:43Well, that's very nice of you,
00:12:45but why don't I just check the serial number
00:12:47and make sure that's not Bobby's bike?
00:12:49Yeah, well, I can't let you do that.
00:12:51You see, the paint's not dry yet.
00:12:53But I tell you what,
00:12:55I can see you got a real hard-on about this bike.
00:12:57Why don't you just give me $250,
00:12:59and I'll get Oph to give you the bike?
00:13:01Okay, that's it.
00:13:03Hand over the bike.
00:13:05Hey, what's that?
00:13:07Guy bashed right into me.
00:13:09You bumped right into Oph.
00:13:11Let me give you a hand there, huh?
00:13:15Okay.
00:13:45Okay.
00:14:15Aah!
00:14:37Aah!
00:14:45Aah!
00:15:03Yes!
00:15:15That was good.
00:15:17That thing with the cabinets,
00:15:19it was terrific.
00:15:25Nick Perandolo, CIA.
00:15:27And you're Bob Wilson, right?
00:15:31You know, while I was looking around
00:15:33for something to work with...
00:15:35Oh, I hope you don't mind me using some of your stuff.
00:15:37Anyway, I came across this guy
00:15:39and I thought,
00:15:41Oh, I hope you don't mind me using some of your stuff.
00:15:43Anyway, I came across the letters
00:15:45you wrote your wife before you were married.
00:15:49You're beautiful, Bob.
00:15:51Some of the sentiments blew me away.
00:15:53One question, though.
00:15:55What was that thing that she did in Santa Barbara
00:15:57that you keep pleading with her to do again?
00:15:59Bet it felt pretty good, huh, Bob?
00:16:03What do you want?
00:16:05Well, the point is, Bob,
00:16:07I think we'd make a great team.
00:16:09Uh, if you don't mind me working while we talk to you,
00:16:11I'm under a little time pressure here.
00:16:15I can see you're a sensitive guy.
00:16:19You know what?
00:16:21I've never even been to college.
00:16:23And you never will.
00:16:25Unless you apply yourself.
00:16:27They've got, uh, application forms.
00:16:29You're gonna have to fill one out.
00:16:31I'm aware of that.
00:16:33Every line.
00:16:35Okay, no big deal.
00:16:37Oh! You sure?
00:16:39You kidding? Welcome. Nice to see you.
00:16:41Yeah?
00:16:43Maybe if I let you hold the gun,
00:16:45you'd feel more comfortable.
00:16:47I don't know. Maybe.
00:16:49Well, why don't you try?
00:16:51Yeah? Yeah.
00:16:53Thank you.
00:16:55There you go. You're welcome.
00:16:59You don't have to test it, Bob. The gun is empty.
00:17:01Really?
00:17:04This one's loaded.
00:17:09You want to be very careful
00:17:11with this one, Bob.
00:17:13Okay. You feel better?
00:17:15Oh, much. Thank you.
00:17:17Go over to the window.
00:17:21See that man in the suit
00:17:23with the submachine gun up in your tree, Bob?
00:17:25You ever see a man like that
00:17:27in your neighborhood before?
00:17:29No, I don't think so. What about him?
00:17:31Well, he shouldn't be in that tree
00:17:33between us and the light.
00:17:35He should be in one of those trees down the street.
00:17:37You want me to go out and tell him to move?
00:17:39You got a good sense of humor, Bob.
00:17:41I like that in a man.
00:17:43What do you like in a woman?
00:17:45Big tits.
00:17:47They say you're not sensitive.
00:17:49Ah, it's only a few people, Bob.
00:17:51Now, our problem is
00:17:53we're gonna get to Washington
00:17:55by 8 o'clock on Friday.
00:17:57We got plenty of time.
00:17:59It's only Monday.
00:18:01Maybe we could leave tomorrow.
00:18:03Oh, no. We're gonna take a long scenic route, Bob.
00:18:05That's nice.
00:18:07Why are we going?
00:18:09Well, I'll tell you.
00:18:11You're gonna have to trust me on that part.
00:18:13But when you find out what it is,
00:18:15you're gonna be so thrilled to be a part of it.
00:18:17But there are some people
00:18:19who don't agree with what we're doing.
00:18:21Like the man in the tree?
00:18:23You catch on quick.
00:18:25They're not gonna be a problem, though.
00:18:27Get out there, deal with them,
00:18:29and get to Washington on time.
00:18:31Uh, gee, I-I can't, mister.
00:18:33Uh, uh...
00:18:35Nick.
00:18:37I wish you'd caught me earlier on this one, Nick.
00:18:39I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pass.
00:18:41I can't go.
00:18:43Why not?
00:18:47I got a lot of work at the office.
00:18:49My boss won't let me.
00:18:51Oh, well, it's important.
00:18:53I'll explain to your boss when we get back.
00:18:55I'm not gonna give you a weapon
00:18:57your first time out.
00:18:59But I never want you to say I've been too tough on you.
00:19:01I'd never do that.
00:19:03Probably not.
00:19:05But you're new to this.
00:19:09And it's your first time,
00:19:11so I just want you to watch,
00:19:13enjoy yourself.
00:19:15If you feel like helping, jump in.
00:19:17You're gonna make a few mistakes.
00:19:21But don't you...
00:19:23worry about it.
00:19:31Okay, partner.
00:19:33Let's go out there and take them out.
00:19:35They're gonna shoot us, aren't they?
00:19:37Probably, Bob.
00:19:39It's what they brought the guns for.
00:19:41Let's go!
00:19:49Don't worry about your family, Bob.
00:19:51I put them with the neighbors.
00:19:57They're destroying my shots!
00:20:03He missed you.
00:20:09I'm not with him!
00:20:11I'm not with him!
00:20:13I'm not with him!
00:20:17I'm not with him!
00:20:21I'm not with him!
00:20:31You son of a bitch!
00:20:33You draw fire,
00:20:35and you save my ass.
00:20:37I'm buying a tombstone, Bob,
00:20:39and you're pulling a stunt like that.
00:20:43You saved my life, Bob.
00:20:47That's something I'm never gonna forget.
00:20:50They thought I was with you.
00:20:52Bob, you are with me.
00:20:56Now, Bob, it'd be easy for me to lie to you
00:20:58and tell you that we're not on a dangerous mission here.
00:21:03You sound terrible.
00:21:05Where did he hit you?
00:21:08It looks like the Adam's apple.
00:21:11God, I hope he didn't knock it loose.
00:21:13If it's floating around in there,
00:21:15it could fold over at any time and choke you to death.
00:21:18It's a terrible way to go, Bob.
00:21:20Did it feel like it hit you pretty hard?
00:21:22Pretty hard.
00:21:24Let me see.
00:21:28I don't know. I'm no doctor, Bob,
00:21:30but it sounds loose to me.
00:21:32Look, put your fingers over it like this
00:21:34for the next couple of days.
00:21:36Don't talk and don't breathe any more than you have to,
00:21:38and you'll be fine.
00:21:40Now, come on.
00:21:42Now, be careful.
00:21:44There could be more of them out there.
00:21:47Come on, Bob.
00:21:57Some fun, huh?
00:21:59You're enjoying yourself, I can tell.
00:22:01Come on.
00:22:07Doc, get up!
00:22:09You're gonna be very good, Bob.
00:22:18What are we doing in Mr. Goodman's house?
00:22:20I left a special map that's vital to the mission in here.
00:22:23Oh, what's so vital about it?
00:22:25Well, it shows us exactly where we want to be
00:22:27Friday at 8 o'clock.
00:22:29Oh, that's vital, all right.
00:22:31Sure is.
00:22:33Hey, while we're here,
00:22:35let's chow down, huh?
00:22:37Who knows when we're gonna get another chance?
00:22:39What if those guys come back?
00:22:41Oh, Bob, we're as safe here as anywhere.
00:22:43How safe are you?
00:22:45We're as safe here as anywhere.
00:22:47How safe is that?
00:22:49Oh, not very.
00:22:53Oh, my God.
00:22:55It's only the third full.
00:22:57What's wrong?
00:22:59It's gotta be at least three days old, Bob.
00:23:01So?
00:23:03Well, when I went over to your house,
00:23:05in your refrigerator,
00:23:07I had some of the freshest cottage cheese
00:23:09I ever tasted.
00:23:11And all your milk containers were full.
00:23:13So what?
00:23:15Jesus, Bob, don't you see?
00:23:19The milkman is making extra stops
00:23:21at your house.
00:23:23Your wife is home,
00:23:25alone,
00:23:27all day, by herself.
00:23:33I know what you're thinking.
00:23:35I know how you feel.
00:23:37I know what's going through your mind, Bob.
00:23:39He's got her in all different kinds of positions.
00:23:41She's telling him about your sexual inadequacies.
00:23:43They're laughing their heads off about it.
00:23:45Oh, he's chasing your wife
00:23:47through that.
00:23:51Your wife did that to you?
00:23:53No, I'm not married.
00:23:55I went through it on the other side.
00:23:57But it's the same thing.
00:23:59All right.
00:24:01Can I let you up?
00:24:05Oh!
00:24:07Oh!
00:24:12You feel better?
00:24:14You get that out of your system now?
00:24:27Come on.
00:24:29Come on, Bob.
00:24:41Come on.
00:25:07Hi.
00:25:09Hi. I'm Bob Wilson.
00:25:11I live at...
00:25:16You were supposed to hold the fence for me, Bob.
00:25:19You did a good job of distracting them.
00:25:21But you don't want to use the same trick every time.
00:25:24What am I talking about?
00:25:26You're doing fine.
00:25:28Forget what I said.
00:25:30Did I tell you you're doing a great job today?
00:25:32Huh?
00:25:35Ugh!
00:25:37She's gonna be a tough one.
00:26:05Heather, Heather, this is Dad.
00:26:07I'm all right. Listen very carefully.
00:26:09I'm in Las Vegas at a place called Lucky Lady Liquor...
00:26:12Mom! It's Dad!
00:26:14It's time for the mental hospital!
00:26:16What mental hospital?
00:26:18Dad, they caught all the terrorists
00:26:20that attacked our street.
00:26:22What terrorists?
00:26:24Hi, honey.
00:26:26I can barely hear you because of the wind.
00:26:28I'm sorry.
00:26:30I'm sorry.
00:26:32I can barely hear you because of the workmen.
00:26:34Is the hospital nice?
00:26:36I'm not in a hospital!
00:26:38Sweetheart, there is no shame in having a medical problem,
00:26:40especially after what you've been through.
00:26:42Barbara, listen.
00:26:44I was kidnapped by this crazy lunatic who claims he's a C.I.A.
00:26:49Hello, Mrs. Wilson. This is Dr. Stilwell.
00:26:52Bob shouldn't be talking to anybody yet.
00:26:55It would have been better if he hadn't have made this call at all.
00:26:58But I want to assure you that he's fine
00:27:01and he'll be coming home soon.
00:27:07I hope I haven't messed anything up.
00:27:09Me too.
00:27:11Come on.
00:27:13Look, you're gonna feel a lot better about it
00:27:15once we get moving again
00:27:17and you get a little wind in your face.
00:27:19Hey, we switched cars for a diversion.
00:27:21I stepped us up.
00:27:23I stole a Torino.
00:27:25Oh, that's great.
00:27:27I thought you'd be pleased.
00:27:32Ah!
00:27:38That was beautiful, Bob.
00:27:40Caught me totally unaware.
00:27:42Hey, you're gonna make a very good agent.
00:27:44You know that?
00:27:46Okay, now, we gotta get going,
00:27:48so why don't you get in the other car?
00:27:50I'm not going anywhere.
00:27:56Okay.
00:28:02Ah!
00:28:07Bob?
00:28:09You sure you don't want to come out?
00:28:11You can get awfully hot just sitting in the car like that.
00:28:14I'm not coming out.
00:28:16Okay.
00:28:18Look, you're upset.
00:28:20Don't try to hide it.
00:28:22Hey, look, you're not crazy about the mission.
00:28:24You didn't like it from the start.
00:28:26Totally understandable.
00:28:29You're gonna feel a lot better about it
00:28:31once we get to Washington.
00:28:35You know what?
00:28:37I'm gonna introduce you to the president.
00:28:39Now, isn't that gonna be exciting?
00:28:41Don't treat me like a child.
00:28:43Fine.
00:28:53I'm coming out!
00:28:56I'm coming out!
00:29:00All right, I'm willing to listen.
00:29:02That's great, Bob.
00:29:04Okay, what is it?
00:29:06We have been negotiating
00:29:08with men and UFOs for seven years.
00:29:11If we don't get to Washington by Friday,
00:29:13the whole deal will be off.
00:29:15Drive me home.
00:29:17Bob, you said you were willing to listen.
00:29:19Negotiating with UFOs?
00:29:21Yes.
00:29:23Space men, men from outer space,
00:29:25alien beings, UFOs.
00:29:27We've been negotiating with men from outer space
00:29:29for seven years.
00:29:31That's right. Come on now, you've heard about it.
00:29:33There are no UFOs.
00:29:35Bob, that's what they tell the general public.
00:29:37You're right.
00:29:39How are you supposed to know?
00:29:41I mean, they've been lying to you for so many years,
00:29:43you don't know what to believe.
00:29:45What are you talking about?
00:29:47What is that?
00:29:49Read the inscription.
00:29:51Come on.
00:29:56To Nick from his friends far away.
00:29:58They gave it to me, the UFOs.
00:30:00This is your proof.
00:30:02Read it and weep. Come on.
00:30:04From his friends far away.
00:30:06Yes.
00:30:08Take me home.
00:30:10You're one hell of a skeptic, aren't you, Bob?
00:30:12All right, you want proof?
00:30:14I want proof.
00:30:16I'll give you proof.
00:30:21I'll give you proof.
00:30:52Can we go now?
00:30:54What is that, the inner workings of your mind?
00:30:57You saw it.
00:30:59I hammered it through the baseball
00:31:01and the outer space pen still writes.
00:31:03I saw that in a commercial on television.
00:31:05They sell pens over the phone that can do that.
00:31:08All right, all right, all right.
00:31:10There's one thing that the pen does do.
00:31:13You willing to watch?
00:31:15Watch.
00:31:17Watch.
00:31:19Watch.
00:31:21Pay attention.
00:31:49Watch.
00:32:05Can a pen on TV do that, Bob?
00:32:08It's a homing pen.
00:32:10It goes right back to their galaxy.
00:32:12They probably think I'm in trouble or something.
00:32:15I hope they don't think I didn't like the pen.
00:32:17You can't give it back?
00:32:19Oh, no, that's it. The only one I had.
00:32:22Oh, boy, I hate to lose a memento like that.
00:32:25A real collector's item, a pen like that, Bob.
00:32:27And you just threw it into outer space.
00:32:30Bob, you were demanding proof.
00:32:32I had to give you proof.
00:32:34I hear something!
00:32:36I hear something!
00:32:38I hear something!
00:32:43Come on.
00:32:46Oh, God!
00:32:55Who's shooting at us?
00:32:57The Russians.
00:32:59The Russians? What do they want?
00:33:01The map. They killed just to get a chance to talk to the UFOs.
00:33:05So I noticed.
00:33:08Oh, yeah.
00:33:10Oh, yeah, definitely gonna be a tough one.
00:33:13Hey, Bob, you got any special skills?
00:33:18Is there anything you're good at?
00:33:21You know, anything you want an award for?
00:33:24Well, I was an alternate on the debating team in high school.
00:33:28You want to go out there and argue with them, Bob?
00:33:31We're definitely gonna have a transportation problem.
00:33:42They're sending in Dolowski, their top negotiator.
00:33:51I'm gonna go get him.
00:33:53I'm gonna get him.
00:33:55I'm gonna get him.
00:33:57I'm gonna get him.
00:33:59I'm gonna get him.
00:34:15Dolly.
00:34:17Good to see you again.
00:34:19You're looking as lovely as always, Dolly.
00:34:23Your macho charm is not going to get you out of this one, Nicky.
00:34:27I don't know about that, Dolly.
00:34:29Your own people are not going to let you get to Washington.
00:34:32Give us the map. We'll protect you.
00:34:35Where? In some gulag in Siberia?
00:34:37You're up against us and your own people.
00:34:39It's suicide. You're a pro. You knew the risks.
00:34:43But, uh, why did you have to take this poor Slovnychki with you?
00:34:48Bob, she's just trying to divide us.
00:34:50What's a Slovnychki?
00:34:52A pissant little nothing. Don't take it personal.
00:34:55Bob here can take care of himself.
00:34:57If there's gonna be any rough stuff, you can bet he's gonna be the first to go.
00:35:00Listen, Nicky, we trust you.
00:35:03If you give us the map and your word, you keep quiet.
00:35:06We forget about the whole thing.
00:35:09What about Bob? Yeah, what about Bob?
00:35:12We don't know him. We'd have to have guarantees he wouldn't talk.
00:35:15I wouldn't talk. What kind of guarantees?
00:35:18We'd want him dead.
00:35:20Nick, Nick, we can't live with a deal like that.
00:35:23You wouldn't be able to, Bob. I couldn't.
00:35:25Bob, let's at least listen to her, okay? Just listen.
00:35:28Shh, let me handle it. Come on.
00:35:30If I were to sell out, what kind of compensation could I expect?
00:35:33A million dollars in cash.
00:35:35A million dollars for Nick? No, that's insulting.
00:35:38Bob, it's not so insulting.
00:35:41Look, it's a negotiation technique. They're gonna start low.
00:35:45Let me handle it, all right?
00:35:48Dolly, I'm gonna consider your offer.
00:35:51But quite frankly, I consider it a bit on the low side.
00:35:53Let's see this thing through, Nick.
00:35:55Nothing matters but our getting to Washington.
00:35:57I think it's important to save the world.
00:35:59Don't get hysterical.
00:36:01What kind of position could I expect in the KGB?
00:36:03Colonel. Colonel? Uh-uh.
00:36:05No, that's a deal-breaker. Bob, it's fine.
00:36:07You can never accept a deal like that.
00:36:09Bob, don't get us... That's it. The deal is over.
00:36:11Forget it. Take a walk, Ski.
00:36:13And, Nicky, there would be other...
00:36:17compensations if you came over to us.
00:36:26Wait here, Bob.
00:36:29Dolly, can I speak to you privately back home?
00:36:33Just for a moment.
00:36:48Uh...
00:37:02Well, Nick, one last thing.
00:37:05All of us at KGB are dumping our genetics, Doc.
00:37:09No, no, Dolly.
00:37:11They're getting that Defense Department contract.
00:37:13It was a good tip.
00:37:15Four boys out the cabinet, Dad.
00:37:18We have a White House tap.
00:37:20They're not going to get the contract.
00:37:27I'm sorry, Nick.
00:37:32We gotta get out of here.
00:37:34What do you think they're trying to do?
00:37:36Trying to murder me.
00:37:38They know I can't afford a loss like that.
00:37:41I didn't know you smoked.
00:37:43Thanks, Bob. I'm trying to give it up.
00:37:45Well, at least you don't smoke that much.
00:37:47Eh, about a pack a day.
00:37:49That'll kill you.
00:37:51It won't kill you, but it'll make you very sore.
00:37:56I want to check the back.
00:37:59You want the good news first or the bad news?
00:38:02Give me the bad news.
00:38:04There's no way out of here alive.
00:38:06What's the good news?
00:38:08It doesn't look like we're going to be here for long.
00:38:15All right, we got one more thing to do.
00:38:18We got to get out of here.
00:38:20We got to get out of here.
00:38:22We got to get out of here.
00:38:24We got to get out of here.
00:38:26All right, we got one chance.
00:38:29Stay close and do exactly what I do.
00:38:35Bang!
00:38:41Bang!
00:38:49Bang!
00:38:52I think the man and the UFO are helping us.
00:38:55We need all the help we can get.
00:38:57Bang!
00:38:59Let's go.
00:39:03Bang! Bang!
00:39:06Bang! Bang! Get down!
00:39:08Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:39:14Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:39:16Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:39:18You got a quarter?
00:39:20Bang! I said you got a quarter!
00:39:22No! Damn!
00:39:24Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:39:26Wait here. I'll cover you.
00:39:29Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:39:31Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:39:33Stop it!
00:39:38Bang!
00:39:40Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:39:42Bang! Bang!
00:39:47Bang!
00:39:49Whoo!
00:39:51Bang! Bang!
00:39:53Nick, I got one.
00:39:58Keep it covered.
00:39:59Bang.
00:39:59Bang.
00:40:01Here, right here.
00:40:02You call that cover?
00:40:03I've only got two hands.
00:40:05Give me the corner.
00:40:09Bang.
00:40:10Hello, Mike?
00:40:12Sell Tenerex as quick as you can.
00:40:13Thanks.
00:40:17Oh, I can relax.
00:40:19I'm out.
00:40:24What is it?
00:40:32Lunch.
00:40:33They just break for lunch?
00:40:35Yeah, they're not as dedicated as we are, Bob.
00:40:37You know, they have no incentives, no motivation.
00:40:40Can we just walk away?
00:40:41Yeah.
00:40:42Come on.
00:40:43Come on.
00:40:44Come on.
00:40:47Here.
00:40:48Come on.
00:40:52Nick!
00:40:53Nick!
00:40:54Come on.
00:41:01What do these spacemen want from us?
00:41:02I mean, what are we negotiating for?
00:41:05I mean, is it a good deal?
00:41:06Is that what you want to know?
00:41:07Yeah, I want to know.
00:41:08What, are you trying to second guess the negotiating team,
00:41:10Bob? Is that it?
00:41:11I just want to know if it's worth
00:41:12the trouble I'm going through.
00:41:13I don't want to waste my time if all we're going to get out
00:41:15of it is a few pictures of space or something.
00:41:17OK, OK, I'll tell you.
00:41:19Here, write this down.
00:41:21You got something to write with?
00:41:22I used to have a pretty good pen, Bob.
00:41:25I think I've got something.
00:41:29OK, what is it?
00:41:30All right, all the flowers, all the trees,
00:41:36all the little birdies, oh, and all the children.
00:41:39All right, so what is this all about?
00:41:41Well, it seems like the guys in Chemical Warfare
00:41:45dumped this stuff in the ocean by mistake.
00:41:48Now, this stuff kills a special algae,
00:41:50and that kills us bacteria, and it
00:41:53goes right up the food chain.
00:41:55Well, to make a long story short, Bob, all life on Earth
00:41:59is going to be dead in five years.
00:42:01All life on Earth will be dead in five years?
00:42:03Unless we do something about it.
00:42:05OK, what if we do do something about it?
00:42:07Well, then everything would be fine.
00:42:09We just don't know what to do.
00:42:11So that's where the UFOs come in, Bob.
00:42:14You see, they're going to give us this good package, which
00:42:16includes a formula that will reverse the whole thing.
00:42:19Now, skip over to the other side and write this down.
00:42:21What's this?
00:42:22This is what they want.
00:42:23Just write it down.
00:42:25A glass of water.
00:42:27That's it?
00:42:28Yep.
00:42:29They want anything with the water?
00:42:31Like what?
00:42:32A cracker or something?
00:42:34No, Bob, just the water.
00:42:38What's this?
00:42:40It's a vinyl map to show us where
00:42:41we're going to pick them up.
00:42:43We better not lose this.
00:42:45I'd say, Bob, the whole world would
00:42:47be doomed, wouldn't you think?
00:42:50It's time to get that safe car, Bob.
00:42:53Where do we get one of those?
00:42:55Well, there's always one place that you know
00:42:59you're always going to be safe.
00:43:01Where's that?
00:43:02Right here.
00:43:05Nicky!
00:43:05Mom, how are you?
00:43:07Oh, Nicky, oh, come on in.
00:43:10Come on in.
00:43:11Who's mom?
00:43:12She's my mother.
00:43:22Dad is home from the hospital.
00:43:25That's great.
00:43:26How does he look?
00:43:27Oh, he looks just great.
00:43:29Oh, ma, that's wonderful.
00:43:32And Grace is here, too.
00:43:34That's wonderful, too, ma.
00:43:36Oh, this is Bob.
00:43:38We're working together.
00:43:39Oh, it's very nice to know you.
00:43:42I'm fine.
00:43:43Bob, Bob, yes.
00:43:44Oh, I've got coffee and sandwiches in the kitchen.
00:43:48So, Nicky, why don't you come and have coffee with us?
00:43:51OK, I'll help you.
00:43:52I'll help you.
00:43:53Bob, you stay right there.
00:43:54We'll be right back.
00:44:13Bob, my name's Bob.
00:44:16I probably shouldn't even be here.
00:44:18I, uh, I don't know.
00:44:21Oh, excuse me.
00:44:22Excuse me.
00:44:23Sorry about that.
00:44:26Wait, I don't think you got the right guy.
00:44:29Oh, excuse me.
00:44:32Excuse me.
00:44:33Excuse me.
00:44:34Excuse me.
00:44:35Excuse me.
00:44:36Excuse me.
00:44:37Excuse me.
00:44:38Excuse me.
00:44:39Excuse me.
00:44:40Hi.
00:44:41Uh, excuse me.
00:44:44Oh, my God.
00:44:50Happy New Year.
00:44:51Oh, thank you.
00:45:04Dad.
00:45:07How are you, Dad?
00:45:10God, you look great.
00:45:13Will you look at the tits on this guy?
00:45:16Huh?
00:45:17Look at him.
00:45:18Dad, I'm real proud of you.
00:45:23Oh, did you meet my new partner, Bob?
00:45:25Bob, this is my father.
00:45:27We've already introduced ourselves.
00:45:31Good to meet you, Dad.
00:45:33Dad just had a facelift.
00:45:35Doesn't he look great?
00:45:37Let me tell you about my dad.
00:45:39We're real proud of him.
00:45:41You know, a lot of guys,
00:45:43when they come to that midlife crisis,
00:45:45they feel like they've missed something.
00:45:47They flip up.
00:45:48They don't know what to do.
00:45:50But not Dad.
00:45:51He knew what to do.
00:45:53He hopped right on a plane,
00:45:55flew to Sweden,
00:45:56and had the operation that is allowing him
00:45:59to experience the side of life that he missed.
00:46:02Now, a lot of people in the family
00:46:05didn't understand what Dad was doing.
00:46:08Mom, at first,
00:46:11you were pretty confused, weren't you?
00:46:14Oh, well, sure.
00:46:18Admit it.
00:46:19Well...
00:46:21And we finally realized that Dad was right.
00:46:26He had done what was right for him.
00:46:28And hell, it's opened up a whole new life for him.
00:46:31Now, I'll bet you my dad looks better now
00:46:34today than any of the other guys
00:46:36he fought with in Iwo Jima.
00:46:46I enjoyed meeting you, Bob.
00:46:49Thank you, Dad.
00:46:50Oh, one thing, Mom.
00:46:52I'm in a bit of a jam.
00:46:54I need a safe car.
00:46:55Can I borrow yours?
00:46:57Oh, of course, Nicky.
00:46:59Oh.
00:47:01Thanks, Mom.
00:47:03You're welcome.
00:47:04Drive safely.
00:47:06Okay.
00:47:16This is what you call a safe car?
00:47:18You'll feel better when we get some seatbelts, Bob.
00:47:21I'll feel better when we get some seats.
00:47:28Why are people in the CIA
00:47:30trying to stop us from saving the world?
00:47:33Oh, well, they want the big gun.
00:47:35You see, the UFOs have weapons, too.
00:47:38They have a big gun that can blow a whole planet away.
00:47:41And there's a faction in the agency
00:47:43that's willing to trade for it.
00:47:45Well, if it can blow a whole planet away,
00:47:47who are they gonna use it on?
00:47:49Oh, what do you think, Bob?
00:47:51The Russians.
00:47:52Wait a minute.
00:47:54If it can blow away a planet, that would kill us, too.
00:47:56What about the end of the world?
00:47:58That's not their problem, Bob.
00:48:00Their job is protecting the United States.
00:48:03Getting the gun is their job.
00:48:05But doesn't anyone think enough to take in the big picture?
00:48:09I don't know, Bob. That's not my department.
00:48:14You sure you don't want anything?
00:48:16The package with the three different colored luncheon meats look good.
00:48:19No, thank you.
00:48:22Ooh, ooh, ooh.
00:48:25Happy pie, huh?
00:48:28You want one? You sure?
00:48:31It's got a guaranteed shelf life of three years.
00:48:34Still got one more to go.
00:48:36I don't feel like a happy pie, okay?
00:48:38You don't look like a happy pie.
00:48:43These things are beautifully packaged, you know that?
00:48:45Think about it, Bob.
00:48:47All life on Earth can be dead,
00:48:49and these pies will still be fresh.
00:48:51Technologically, we're supper.
00:49:01Mm?
00:49:03Mm?
00:49:05What?
00:49:09Do you have a bathroom?
00:49:15It's for my friend.
00:49:20They know all about the negotiations.
00:49:22Look at this. They printed the whole thing.
00:49:24It's a free country, Bob. They can do that.
00:49:27Hey, all these articles are straight out of the CIA files.
00:49:37What are we going in here for?
00:49:39I gotta take a leak.
00:49:41Again?
00:49:43Yeah, again.
00:49:45Do you mind?
00:49:49Nick? What?
00:49:51You know, I've been thinking.
00:49:53Doesn't the government have special guys to take care of this stuff?
00:49:56Yeah, we are those special guys, Bob.
00:49:58Nick, I don't think I'm right for this mission.
00:50:00Sure you are!
00:50:02I want to get off.
00:50:04Gee, you know, Bob,
00:50:06if you left the mission, I'd have to shoot you.
00:50:09I saved your life, Nick. You said you'd never forget that.
00:50:12And, Bob, I never will.
00:50:15It was right in front of your house.
00:50:18Wait here. I'll be right back.
00:50:48I'll be right back.
00:50:50That idiot lets me run off with the vital map.
00:51:20Okay, let's get a move.
00:51:50Oh, no.
00:52:04Moved the car.
00:52:06You moved the car?
00:52:08Yeah, it was out in the open.
00:52:10And what about me?
00:52:12Did you give any consideration to how I was treated?
00:52:15No, I didn't.
00:52:17And what about me?
00:52:19Did you give any consideration to how I would feel
00:52:21when I came back from taking my leak and found the car was gone?
00:52:24I guess not.
00:52:26I guess not, you son of a bitch!
00:52:28I've been running up that road for a mile, you stupid imbecile!
00:52:30You endangered the whole mission.
00:52:32I've got the map. Did you know that?
00:52:34No, I just thought...
00:52:36The one time I depend on you and you're not there.
00:52:38Do you know how important this mission is?
00:52:40I think so.
00:52:42Why don't you act like it?
00:52:44Don't be sensitive to anybody else's feelings.
00:52:47Get in the car.
00:52:59Look, just...
00:53:01Get in that car!
00:53:14Well, I don't suppose you'd accept my apology.
00:53:18Well, I want you to know that...
00:53:22I'm sorry.
00:53:24And nothing like this will ever happen again.
00:53:27Huh. Right.
00:53:29I thought, you know...
00:53:31I thought you didn't want to go on this mission.
00:53:34I didn't understand how you felt.
00:53:38I underestimated you.
00:53:40Okay, we're gonna forget about it.
00:53:45Hey, look, I got to apologize.
00:53:47I... I wasn't taking a leak.
00:53:49I tried to run off.
00:53:51I know, Bob.
00:53:53I was watching you.
00:53:55You were watching me?
00:53:57Yeah.
00:54:01You didn't say anything.
00:54:05You came back, Bob.
00:54:07A lot of guys would have kept on running.
00:54:09Whoo-hoo!
00:54:14Whoo-hoo!
00:54:31What's this?
00:54:33Oh, we got to get the glass to put the water in.
00:54:36It's a publicity thing, you know.
00:54:38They put a presidential seal in the glass.
00:54:41That way, when they travel through the universe,
00:54:43we get a little publicity.
00:54:45You're kidding. What idiots think up something like that?
00:54:47I don't know, Bob.
00:54:49I think there's a special department of idiots in the White House that do that.
00:54:54This should be it here.
00:54:57Yeah!
00:54:59Here is the special glass for the water.
00:55:02This is where they keep it?
00:55:04Yeah. This way it doesn't attract any attention.
00:55:06What if it broke?
00:55:08Bob.
00:55:10Whatever you do, there are going to be risks.
00:55:15Who are those clowns?
00:55:19Holy shit! Clown attack!
00:55:23Clown attack?
00:55:25Yeah. It's a clown unit.
00:55:27They're putting in some of the CIA's best agents in clown suits,
00:55:29so they won't be recognized.
00:55:31So they won't be recognized?
00:55:33Yeah. They've gone bad.
00:55:35Bad clowns?
00:55:38Oh, boy.
00:55:40What?
00:55:46Oh, it's Pinks.
00:55:51What?
00:55:56Oh, Jesus. It's Hartman.
00:55:58Hartman?
00:56:00You know, next to me, he's the best agent in the world.
00:56:04Oh, Jesus.
00:56:06What?
00:56:08The way they're doing this is beautiful.
00:56:10I wish I could watch it from the sidelines.
00:56:12So do I.
00:56:16Okay, Bob.
00:56:18You ready?
00:56:25Bob, why are you crying?
00:56:29Bob, it's a challenge. Of course it is a challenge.
00:56:32We can do it.
00:56:34I'll take out three, and you take out the two on the right.
00:56:37You have to take out the two on the right, Bob.
00:56:41Bob, please stop crying.
00:56:43It's eating away at my confidence, Bob.
00:56:47Come on!
00:56:53I guess I can tell you now.
00:56:55Tell me what?
00:56:57I didn't just pick you out of a crowd like I said.
00:56:59You're Russia's number-one agent in the United States.
00:57:02What are you talking about?
00:57:04Bob, they hypnotized you.
00:57:06Just like in the movies.
00:57:08They give you a cold word, and you activate.
00:57:10Activate, boom. You're out of the house, blowing up a nuclear plant.
00:57:13You're very good, Bob.
00:57:15With your training, you could take me out any time.
00:57:18I'm not a Russian agent.
00:57:20Sure you are.
00:57:22No, I'm not.
00:57:24Bob, look deep inside yourself.
00:57:26Look at me.
00:57:28I'm an American agent.
00:57:30What do you feel about me?
00:57:33I want to kill you.
00:57:35See?
00:57:38I just thought you'd like to know before you die.
00:57:44Let's take him.
00:57:47Boom!
00:57:57No hitting in the nuts, all right?
00:58:09Come on.
00:58:11I don't believe it.
00:58:13I'm working with a bunch of clowns!
00:58:17Boom!
00:58:29Oh!
00:58:32Oh!
00:58:35Oh, jeez!
00:58:41Holy shit!
00:58:43You got them all.
00:58:45I just saw the first part.
00:58:47You came charging down the alley,
00:58:49and pinks hit you,
00:58:51and you went wild.
00:58:53And then you took out Hartman and Bindle
00:58:55before I could even get out here.
00:58:57And then I was trying to help you,
00:58:59but I ran into the dumpster and knocked myself out.
00:59:02What happened after that, Bob?
00:59:05Oh, I must have taken them all out
00:59:07and been programmed to rest.
00:59:09You know, like in the movies,
00:59:11Save My Energy?
00:59:13I saw this movie once where this guy was hypnotized...
00:59:16What are you talking about, Bob?
00:59:18You're not a Russian agent.
00:59:20I just said that to build your self-confidence.
00:59:22I'm not a Russian agent?
00:59:24Of course not. How can you believe that?
00:59:26That's ridiculous.
00:59:29And I took out all these guys?
00:59:32Well, yeah, that part's true.
00:59:34I took them all out?
00:59:36Boy, I'm pretty amazing.
00:59:38Would my kids be proud of me
00:59:40if their dad took apart a CIA all-star team?
00:59:45They never learn.
00:59:50You decked Hartman?
00:59:52Of course. You were right.
00:59:54All I needed was a little self-confidence.
00:59:58Apparently.
01:00:11You're one hell of a guy, Bob.
01:00:19Sorry.
01:00:34What are we doing here?
01:00:36Getting us laid.
01:00:38I thought I forgot about that.
01:00:40What about getting to D.C. Friday night?
01:00:42Bob, it's only Thursday.
01:00:44We get there early, we're just gonna have to sit around and wait anyway.
01:00:50I still think we should be getting to Washington and saving the world.
01:00:53Bob, we need to take time to learn and grow
01:00:56and develop a decent relationship.
01:00:59Will you look at the tits on this one?
01:01:02Well, you're definitely becoming more sensitive.
01:01:04I know. I can feel it.
01:01:06Bob, you've been very good for me.
01:01:08You've changed me.
01:01:10And I want to thank you for that.
01:01:30You know what I see, Bob? What?
01:01:32The possibility of a great and long-term relationship.
01:01:36Be right back.
01:01:44Thank you.
01:01:50Yeah. Wow.
01:01:52You know, you just attracted the best-looking guy in the place.
01:02:02That was my seat.
01:02:07You want to do something about it?
01:02:12If I have to.
01:02:22Uh, well, we thought you'd left.
01:02:25Is your friend coming back?
01:02:27He might.
01:02:29Can we buy you a drink?
01:02:31Don't you think if I wanted you to buy me a drink,
01:02:34I would have told you to buy me a drink?
01:02:37Huh? Right.
01:02:39Get lost.
01:02:41Right. You too.
01:02:46Double bourbon straight to the rim.
01:02:49Now.
01:02:51Yes, sir.
01:03:05That's better.
01:03:07You're probably saying to yourself, why me?
01:03:10Why me?
01:03:12Why you? Because I like you, that's why.
01:03:15And I'll be honest with you.
01:03:17I'm going to spend the night with you, and I'll be gone in the morning.
01:03:20Can you handle it?
01:03:22I'll try.
01:03:24I knew you could.
01:03:26Do you have a car?
01:03:28I'll follow you.
01:03:31Move. Come on. Go.
01:03:35Oh, Bob!
01:03:46Wish me luck, Bob.
01:03:48Wait! What?
01:03:50It's another attack.
01:03:52They're not CIA agents, Bob. Don't worry.
01:03:54Who are they?
01:03:56They look like burglars to me.
01:03:58I'll be back as soon as I can.
01:04:29This is going to be a tough one, isn't it?
01:04:31On your knees, slave!
01:04:35Okay.
01:04:37You're one of those feminists, aren't you?
01:04:39Silence!
01:04:41All right, now, look. You're going to get rough with me,
01:04:43I can get rough right back.
01:04:49You miss me?
01:04:59Go for it.
01:05:09That was good.
01:05:11I was very impressed.
01:05:13That was very good, Bob.
01:05:15I'm impressed.
01:05:17I'm impressed.
01:05:19I'm impressed.
01:05:21I'm impressed.
01:05:23I'm impressed.
01:05:25I'm impressed.
01:05:27That was very good what?
01:05:29That was good, uh, mistress?
01:05:32Oh, that was good mistress!
01:05:34Ow!
01:05:36Oh, God, that was great!
01:05:38You know, you're one of those girls
01:05:40that are a lot different at the office
01:05:42than you are at home, aren't you?
01:05:54Oh, it hurts!
01:05:56It hurts!
01:05:58I haven't hit you yet.
01:06:00Oh, sorry, mistress.
01:06:02When do I get my turn?
01:06:04This is your turn.
01:06:08Don't you think maybe we could have a little dinner first or something?
01:06:11You know, candlelight wine.
01:06:13Ow!
01:06:20Ow!
01:06:22Oh, God!
01:06:24Ow!
01:06:26Admit your pain. Admit your weakness.
01:06:28No!
01:06:30No!
01:06:32Yes! Yes!
01:06:34Oh!
01:06:36Ah!
01:06:50Ah!
01:06:52Oh!
01:06:54Oh!
01:06:56So she rejected me.
01:06:58I put myself out on the line again,
01:07:00and I was hurt.
01:07:04I said, okay, I'm 12, and you're 34.
01:07:07You're married to my uncle.
01:07:09I think we could have something special.
01:07:12She said she didn't think so.
01:07:16You know how that hurts?
01:07:18Yeah!
01:07:21You're not seeing anybody on a...
01:07:25regular basis, are you?
01:07:34You got him, boys?
01:07:36Yes, sir, Mr. Wilson. Thanks again, Bob.
01:07:38Don't make a big thing out of it.
01:07:40What a guy, huh? Acts like it was nothing.
01:07:42What do you think about what he told us about the clown thing, huh?
01:07:44Incredible.
01:07:51What was that?
01:07:53Nothing. Ready to go?
01:07:59I guess so.
01:08:01I don't know what's happening.
01:08:03I...
01:08:05This woman has become very important to me, Bob.
01:08:08I left my phone number.
01:08:10You think she'll call?
01:08:12How should I know?
01:08:16I don't know.
01:08:19I think that, you know, I won't see her for days.
01:08:22She's sure to meet other men.
01:08:26I think I love her, Bob.
01:08:28You think you love her?
01:08:30So, if I don't pay attention to my feelings,
01:08:34who will?
01:08:39So I think I should get off the mission.
01:08:42Okay, that's it.
01:08:49Get out!
01:08:51What?
01:08:53You want off the mission? Okay, you little wimp.
01:08:55Get off! You're out!
01:08:57Hey, Bob.
01:08:59I am getting a little sick and tired of your pissing and moaning.
01:09:01I came to do a job, and I'm gonna do it.
01:09:03You think this mission is easy for me?
01:09:05You think I don't want to go home, too?
01:09:07But you hear me complaining all the time?
01:09:09No. We've got an important job to do, and I'm gonna do it.
01:09:12Listen, I didn't...
01:09:14I think I respected you once.
01:09:16You know, I even wanted to be like you.
01:09:18Just remember who saved your ass back there
01:09:21when those clowns were all over you.
01:09:23Yeah, well, I'll have you know... What?
01:09:28I'm grateful.
01:09:30Very grateful for that, Bob.
01:09:32I just want you to know that I'll be using
01:09:34that same kind of ability to back you up
01:09:36at every stage of this mission.
01:09:40Are you gonna behave?
01:09:42Yes.
01:09:44Close the door.
01:09:55Listen, I got you one of your pies that you...
01:10:07I love her. Forgive me. I can't do it.
01:10:10I want to live before I die. Nick.
01:10:15Figures.
01:10:17Pissant little nothing.
01:10:44Come on.
01:11:02Donald! The kids are ready.
01:11:10Stupid son of a bitch walking around dressed like that
01:11:13and asking for shots.
01:11:35Oh!
01:11:38Shit.
01:11:42Oh, shit.
01:11:50Nick!
01:11:54What are you doing here?
01:11:58I was worried about you.
01:12:03You know, you're something, Bob.
01:12:05Coming in here, outgunned, outnumbered,
01:12:08going up against guys who have more experience than you.
01:12:14You're a hell of a guy, Bob.
01:12:17I'm a hell of a guy. What about you?
01:12:19I don't make a big thing out of it.
01:12:21It is a big thing to care about someone.
01:12:24Not to sell them out or give up on them,
01:12:26to stick by them even when they're a pain in the ass.
01:12:29I think that's plenty big.
01:12:31I ran off on you.
01:12:33You came back.
01:12:36Okay, make a big thing out of it.
01:12:39I wouldn't be out of line
01:12:41if I asked you if you needed a little help, would I?
01:12:43Hell, no. I could use your help.
01:12:45Yeah? Well, there is one thing, Bob.
01:12:48You never want to carry your weapon like this.
01:12:52You always want to put it on the other side with the butt out.
01:12:55So if they shoot off your right arm,
01:12:57you can always grab it with your left.
01:12:59Oh, yeah. That is a big help.
01:13:01Well, shall we go in there and take care of the situation?
01:13:04Hey, anything you say, partner.
01:13:07One thing, though.
01:13:09I think it would be a good idea
01:13:11if you had a loaded weapon.
01:13:14That'd be nice.
01:13:16Yeah, in case they shoot at you.
01:13:32Come on, Nick! Come on!
01:13:45Let's go!
01:13:54It's Mahoney!
01:13:56He's going to help us.
01:13:58I'm with you, Nick!
01:14:01I don't think so.
01:14:17Did I tell you you're doing a great job today?
01:14:21No.
01:14:23You are.
01:14:25Thank you.
01:14:28The water's got to be here.
01:14:34Glass?
01:14:38What kind of water is that?
01:14:40Don't worry, Bob. It's a good bottled kind.
01:14:44All right, we go this way.
01:14:58Don't try it.
01:15:00Throw the guns away.
01:15:02Come on, throw them away.
01:15:04Come on.
01:15:07We want the big gun, Nick.
01:15:09Miller, you were behind it the whole time, weren't you?
01:15:12That's right, Nick.
01:15:14All right, Wilson.
01:15:16Walk out there and ask them for the big gun.
01:15:18Like hell I will.
01:15:20I'm shooting Nick unless you do what I tell you.
01:15:24Go ahead and shoot him.
01:15:28What are you talking about?
01:15:30He's kidding.
01:15:32I'm going to shoot him.
01:15:34Go ahead. He's tough. He can take it.
01:15:36Bob, I've changed. A lot.
01:15:38You think I'm bluffing?
01:15:40I don't care.
01:15:45See?
01:15:47Sorry, Nick. This is bigger than both of us.
01:15:50Kill him. It's still not going to get you the gun.
01:15:53Bob, what are you talking about?
01:15:55This is a professional agent here. He's serious.
01:15:57Look, he'd be glad to go out there and get you the big gun.
01:16:00No, I wouldn't.
01:16:02Bob, don't be the hero.
01:16:04It's okay, Nick. I'll take care of this.
01:16:06Yeah? Like how?
01:16:08Time's up.
01:16:20That's incredible.
01:16:22How do you do something like that?
01:16:25Don't make a big thing out of it.
01:16:32All right, Bob.
01:16:34They're here.
01:16:36Go make your rendezvous.
01:16:39Oh!
01:16:51You're just like us.
01:16:53Yes. We were all like in this universe.
01:16:56Have you decided?
01:16:58Do you want the good package or the big gun?
01:17:02We want the good package.
01:17:05You are a wise people.
01:17:09We got the baseball you sent us.
01:17:12We are learning to play.
01:17:14And we're going to win.
01:17:16We're going to win.
01:17:18Do you want to write a book?
01:17:20I'll write a book.
01:17:22I'll send it to you.
01:17:24I'll send it to you.
01:17:26You'll write a book?
01:17:28You'll write a book.
01:17:30You'll write a book.
01:17:32You'll write a book.
01:17:34You'll write a book.
01:17:36We are learning to play. It is a wonderful game.
01:17:39Thank Nick.
01:17:45A gift for you.
01:17:53And here is Nick's back.
01:17:56Thank you.
01:18:00Thank you.
01:18:06Thank you.
01:18:26It's a thrill, isn't it, Bob?
01:18:28You never forget the first time you saved the world.
01:18:31Tremendous thrill.
01:18:36Dad's home.
01:19:00Dad's home.
01:19:03Dad's home. Hi, Dad.
01:19:05Hey, guys. I missed you.
01:19:07How's the hospital?
01:19:09Everything's fine now, son.
01:19:11They fixed up the house great, huh, Dad?
01:19:14They owed us that, didn't they, sweetie?
01:19:16It's good to have you home, Bob.
01:19:18It's good to be home. Hey, you kids wait here.
01:19:33They did a good job.
01:19:37Come here.
01:19:39Listen, I've been thinking.
01:19:43Haven't we been getting a little too much milk lately?
01:19:49I didn't want to tell you this before.
01:19:52I know how you hate conflict, but...
01:19:55I can't get the milkman to stop delivering.
01:19:58He comes around every day, and he's been bothering me,
01:20:01making a lot of suggestive remarks.
01:20:04I've tried to discourage him, but...
01:20:06Don't give it another thought. I'll take care of it.
01:20:09You're not going to do anything violent.
01:20:11That shouldn't be necessary.
01:20:13Sometimes all it takes is a word or just a look.
01:20:16I'll take care of it.
01:20:29Wait here.
01:20:31You decided to pay up, huh?
01:20:34No, I decided to get my boy's bike back.
01:20:37Listen, dipstick, didn't you get enough of this last week?
01:20:40I guess not.
01:20:42Come on, Dad.
01:20:44Yeah, Dad, let's just go.
01:20:46It's too late, scumwad.
01:20:48Look, we don't want any trouble.
01:20:51You nailed it.
01:20:53Here!
01:20:56All right, we're going to give you your kid's bike back.
01:20:59Of course you are.
01:21:01You're going to have to pay to have it repainted.
01:21:04Remember this?
01:21:06Dad, I'm really proud of you.
01:21:09I hope it's not because of what I did back there.
01:21:12No, it's because you stood up for us.
01:21:15Good girl.
01:21:17Hey, your father's quite a guy, huh?
01:21:20Hey, Nick, you don't think I over-responded, do you?
01:21:23No, not at all.
01:21:25You were flawless, Bob.
01:21:27Called for a little force, you used a little force.
01:21:30The appropriate amount, and it was very controlled.
01:21:33Thank you.
01:21:35You're doing a good job, Bob.
01:21:37Well, I gotta go.
01:21:39I got a date.
01:21:41I mean, uh, I'm putting in time
01:21:44to develop a meaningful relationship.
01:21:50So long, kids.
01:21:53Adios!
01:21:58Dad, that guy is flying away in a helicopter.
01:22:02Don't make a big thing out of it, son.
01:22:04Hey, Bob! Bob!
01:22:07Your house looks great from here!
01:22:10They did a great job!
01:22:17Ooh!
01:22:20Ooh!
01:22:24Try to be more sensitive.
01:22:49♪
01:23:19♪
01:23:49♪
01:24:19♪
01:24:29♪
01:24:39♪
01:24:49♪
01:24:59♪