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00:00Welcome to Mojo Plays and today we're looking over the unluckiest of souls dotted around
00:11the lands between. Get ready for spoilers and sorrow.
00:30Iron Fist Alexander
00:37There's not a lot of goodwill to be found in the land across the fog, but we'll be
00:41damned if this living jar isn't a great source of comfort and comedy.
00:51Obsessed with becoming a great warrior, Alexander is a noble soul who unfortunately fails to
00:56live up to his ambition, no matter how many demigods he throws himself against or how
01:00many volcanoes he meditates in.
01:06This all culminates in a proposed deathmatch, asking us to give him the glorious send off
01:10he's been craving.
01:20Irina
01:21It's a classic set up. A fair maiden asks the brave tarnished to lead a one man assault
01:31on Castle Morn, that has since come under siege by the misbegotten, and save her father
01:36in the process. Hence we slay our way through every beastman in our path, best the boss,
01:42find her father, and convince him to return to his daughter's side.
01:50And what's waiting for us upon return? Irina's bloodied remains, having been struck down
01:56while we stormed the castle. Hers is a short and sour story that manages to cast quite
02:00the shadow.
02:25Pride comes before the fall, and not even our enchanting sorcery instructor could do
02:29anything to save herself from slipping over the edge. After forming a bond, you can choose
02:34to aid Selene in recovering her real body and escaping her pursuers, allowing her to
02:38continue her studies into glintstone magic.
02:41Sadly, her newfound freedom comes at a hefty price, as the next time you see her, all that
02:46magical meddling has turned her into an abomination made up of gigantic faces. Not exactly a pleasant
02:52way to spend the rest of one's life.
03:12There really are no happy endings in the Lands Between. Affected with the Scarlet Rot, choosing
03:17to save Millicent will give her the chance to follow in the footsteps of Melania, who
03:21she believes to be her kin in some way. This journey of discovery leads the Redhead Beauty
03:25to reflect on what may befall her, should she continue to exist as Melania has, potentially
03:30becoming a diseased Deathbringer in the process. Hence, come the end of her questline, she
03:35chooses to let the Rot finish her, and die as her own person.
03:42We tried to help, and it still wasn't enough.
03:54So here's the thing. Originally, this entry was dedicated to Mikala. Since everyone had
03:59rightly assumed, Moog had kidnapped him, with plans to turn him into his consort, and create
04:04a new dynasty from their union. Creepy evil, the works.
04:08And then Shadow of the Earth Tree turned everything on its head. Turns out, Moog was
04:13enchanted by Mikala's magic, compelled to love him against his will.
04:28And after we slew him, what did Mikala do with his remains? Use them to bring back Radan,
04:34the brother he actually wanted as his consort. Now I feel awful for all those Chris Hansen
04:39jokes we've been making. Sorry Moog.
05:05Cursed as an omen, Morgoth likely never knew love, despite his status as a demigod, and
05:11yet, he may just be the most loyal among them. Even with his affliction, he's the only one
05:15that chooses to guard the entrance to the Earth Tree, to ensure his family's legacy
05:19remains protected, and that none can take the title of Elden Lord.
05:27It's certainly noble, and while he's in many ways the arch-nemesis of the Tarnished, his
05:31actions are borderline commendable, despite receiving no respect nor thanks from those
05:36he sheds blood for.
05:49Renala
05:50The carrion queen, master of the full moon, adept sorceress. Renala was all of these,
06:11as well as the first wife of the legendary warrior Radagon. Their union brought an end
06:16to war, and by all accounts, they were very happy together, until Radagon skedaddled to
06:26become Marika's second consort, shattering Renala to such an extent that her heartbreak
06:31drove her to the fringes of madness. Knowing what we now know about Radagon and Marika
06:36being the same person, it's clear Renala was used from the start, painting an even
06:40bleaker picture. Rani's mama didn't deserve this!
07:01Had things been different, this general could very well have been the hero of the story,
07:05a great warrior whose strength was only matched by his heart. Seriously, he learned gravity
07:10magic just so he could continue to ride his beloved tiny horse. Following his battle
07:14with Melania that consumed the land in Scarlet Rock, Radagon was turned into a bloodthirsty
07:19beast with no hope of recovering his mind. His boss battle, while epic in scope, is portrayed
07:24as a mercy, to finally give the gallant warrior the peace he deserves.
07:34My eyesight has been weak since birth, you see. I can't tell which way I'm supposed
07:38to go next. How much bad luck can one person have? Dreaming
07:43of becoming a fingermaid despite her blindness, Hayeta comes across as a sweet girl who wishes
07:48to aid the tarnished. To do this, she seeks peculiar grapes to help lead her to the so-called
07:53distant light. As it happens, the grapes are actually eyeballs belonging to followers of
07:58the Lord of Frenzied Flames. Disgusting, we know. Undeterred, Hayeta will stay by our
08:03side until we ultimately become the vessel for the Frenzied Flame itself. As a result,
08:08she finally gets to live out her wish of being a fingermaiden… for all of five seconds
08:12before the flames incinerate her from within.
08:29Alive.
08:30Who goes there? Kale sent you, did he? Never the bloody busybody. Hmm. Maybe to him you
08:38don't seem so strange.
08:40This half-wolf is many things. Guardian of Rani the Witch, dependable sword bro, and
08:46responsible for an intense amount of thirst among certain gamers. Yet, for all of this,
08:51his story is one of woe. As a creation of the greater will, it ultimately controls him,
08:57so when Rani embarks on her crusade to remove all outer gods and their influence, they send
09:01Blythe to kill her. In turn, Blythe's loyalty to Rani is so absolute that the internal conflict
09:07causes his mind to break, leaving him as a feral killer that we, tragically, have to
09:13put down.
09:14I'm in need of a fitting end to this tale.
09:17Which Elden Ring character do you think deserved better? Let us know in the comments.