Fred's Head - Business is Business
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FunTranscript
00:00I
00:08Know teenagers need to sleep, but this is ridiculous
00:13You're gonna get bed sores, it's not even late it is so late. I made you meatloaf. It's dinner time
00:30I
00:37Gazing can sometimes
01:00Kids!
01:02Move!
01:04To!
01:06Mush! Lips and eyebrows!
01:12I've got to find something to do during the school break.
01:16Or else I'll be forced to pretend I want to help my dear parents with the spring cleaning.
01:21Helping with housework should be the desire of every teenager who idealizes his parents.
01:26Don't let my mother hear that.
01:28My mom just bought me the latest camera I wanted.
01:30You can finally shoot your rotting food in high definition digital.
01:35You guys are just so pitiful.
01:37Why don't you grow up?
01:39School break is a great time to be useful.
01:42Whoa, excuse me, Granola Bar.
01:44This is a private conversation.
01:46I snagged a junior reporter internship at this ecological weekly, the Raging Green.
01:51Look at me.
01:52Is this the face of someone who cares?
01:54Actually, I wouldn't mind finding a part-time job.
02:01How do you expect to get up in the morning? With electric shock?
02:04Good one.
02:06I need something that pays well and isn't exhausting.
02:09I have an inspired idea.
02:12Mom and Pop are going away for a few days,
02:14and I have the taxing but gratifying job of minding the clown shop.
02:18Why don't you come and work with me at the store while they're gone?
02:23It's nearly everything you've ever wanted in a job.
02:25It's exhausting, and it's underpaid.
02:28You've got to watch the meat grinder.
02:30It starts on its own.
02:32Oh, and steer clear of the tarantula in aisle three.
02:35You also have to avoid the cursed horoscope machine just to be safe.
02:39Other than that, you just have to feed the man-eating plant.
02:42But watch out, it loves tasty little fingers.
02:45Great.
02:46Gee, you don't seem overly excited.
02:48I am.
02:49Working in a clown shop and being amputated by a plant is a dream come true.
03:01Day one.
03:07Up and at them, Booz and Buddy. It's almost 4.31.
03:15I'm so proud of you, Sunshine.
03:17We're up at dawn to give you support.
03:19I'm proud of us, too, son.
03:22My baby is leaving the nest to fly with his very own wings.
03:27He'll meet a girl, leave home, and abandon his poor parents.
03:31It's a nightmare!
03:33On the other hand, I'll finally be able to clean his room.
03:37Are you always this weird at 5 o'clock in the morning?
03:42Make sure the clients pay, my little sugar keeper.
03:44Don't leave the fridge door open.
03:46Turn out the lights when you leave and take care of dear Uncle Laszlo.
03:52Bye-bye!
03:55Who's Uncle Laszlo?
03:57My father's uncle's brother and last owner of this shop.
04:00He had a record-breaking appetite.
04:02He could eat his own weight in frog's legs.
04:15Oh, yeah, watch the doors. They don't close well.
04:18And mind the cash. It doesn't open too well, either.
04:22Let me guess, it doesn't slide well?
04:24You'll catch on quick.
04:28I don't believe it.
04:30Good morning, Mr. LeBlanc.
04:32Can I help you?
04:33My canary, Hopkins, is having classic antisocial symptoms.
04:38The symptoms are a combination of anxiety,
04:41and classic antisocial symptoms.
04:44The same pathology you demonstrate.
04:47And?
04:48I want to get him a companion to help him overcome his antisocial state.
04:53Possible solution applicable to LeBlanc, a mating panda.
04:59Will this do?
05:00What is that horror?
05:01It's yellow and small with feathers.
05:06The subject uses irony to hide his incompetence.
05:12We just got in a shipment of meat we ordered on sale.
05:16We just gotta make room for it in the fridge.
05:18Okay.
05:19If something tickles your fancy, help yourself.
05:21My pop wants to give it all away.
05:22The noble duty of delivery awaits.
05:24Oh, and I'll be gone all day.
05:25What do you mean, all day?
05:27Oh, and mind Uncle Lazlo.
05:30But who's Uncle Lazlo?
05:41Whoa!
05:42Whoa!
05:43Whoa!
05:44Whoa!
05:45Whoa!
05:46Whoa!
05:47Whoa!
05:48Whoa!
05:49Whoa!
05:50Whoa!
05:51Whoa!
05:52Whoa!
05:53Whoa!
05:54Whoa!
05:55Whoa!
05:56Whoa!
05:57Whoa!
05:58Whoa!
05:59Whoa!
06:00Whoa!
06:01Whoa!
06:02Whoa!
06:03Whoa!
06:04Whoa!
06:05Whoa!
06:06Whoa!
06:07Whoa!
06:08Whoa!
06:09Whoa!
06:10Whoa!
06:11Whoa!
06:12Whoa!
06:13Whoa!
06:14Whoa!
06:15Whoa!
06:16Whoa!
06:17Whoa!
06:21Hmm.
06:22You must be Uncle Lazlo.
06:28You're in charge?
06:29I'm surprised.
06:30Got any coffee?
06:31I imagine we do.
06:33Ground or beans?
06:34I'm not too sure.
06:35It's fair trade coffee, isn't it?
06:37No idea.
06:38Where's Gigi?
06:39At least he knows his inventory.
06:41Maybe you could go find him for me.
06:43With a clerk like you in their store, the Piroskis will go bankrupt fast!
06:48The only reason they'd go bankrupt is because of clients who come in and then don't buy anything!
07:09Day 2
07:38Day 3
07:42Are you having fun at the shop?
07:44I can't remember ever having such fun.
07:47That's nice.
07:49The clients love me.
07:51They think I'm extremely helpful.
07:53Really?
07:55Actually, Gigi disappears for the day and I'm a pretty lame salesman.
07:59You're not lame!
08:00Don't say such bad things about my son!
08:02Day 4
08:07Hmm...
08:28Baldi!
08:29Inspector Larry Bouchard, Urban Health and Hygiene Department.
08:33We were called about a foul odor.
08:35And I'm not talking about your adolescent B.O.
08:38It's from the-
08:39I don't care!
08:40I'm closing the store due to public putrefaction!
08:43But you can't do that!
08:45Are you offering me a bribe in exchange for my silence?
08:49Isn't that called corruption, sir?
08:51Look, I don't want a lecture.
08:53I want an envelope with a small amount of cash inside.
08:56Small amount of cash?
08:58You could buy a swimming pool with this!
09:00Hey, good idea!
09:02So, I'll come around in a couple of days to pick up the dough.
09:24Gigi, I can explain everything.
09:26Isn't this the most wonderful day, my friend?
09:30The most wonderful day, my friend!
09:32I had a bit of a problem with-
09:33Madonna appeared before me and suddenly I was bent out of shape with admiration!
09:38Lovely.
09:39But we have a-
09:40Such femininity as woman.
09:42Eyes of steel behind velvet glasses.
09:45Listen to me!
09:46We have a mega problem!
09:47We've got to get rid of the meat!
09:49Catastrophe!
09:51Thanks for cluing in.
09:52I forgot to get a name!
09:54Don't forget to keep the humidity down for Uncle Ashlow!
10:01Shop's looking good.
10:03I'm even thinking of starting my own business.
10:25I wonder if the meat tastes anything like it smells.
10:32Reality surpasses fiction.
10:35Makes me want to film documentaries.
10:38Glad to be the inspiration for your career choice.
10:43Jean Beatrice.
10:45Oh, such a delicious name!
10:47What good is a delicious name?
10:49I'm trying on this dress and babysitting my nephew to practice being a mother.
10:54When my upcoming nuptials have just been canceled because my husband-to-be can't stand the podcast!
11:03Dry your tears, oh my divine one.
11:06And let me be the feather in your cap.
11:09Ah!
11:17I have no idea what's wrong with your monkey!
11:20This is a clown shop, not a chimpanzee clinic!
11:25Don't worry about your delivery.
11:27My colleague is on his way.
11:29He's been gone for three hours.
11:40Day number three!
11:44Mom?
11:46Yes, my sunshine?
11:48Say, a good friend did something really bad.
11:54And he needed a large sum of money.
11:58Yes?
12:00Do you think he should ask his parents for said large sum of money?
12:06Don't think so, no.
12:09So, do both of us still have to get up every day to show Fred our support?
12:15Couldn't we rotate?
12:31Hello, Mrs. Pierowski.
12:32Do you have any chopsticks?
12:34Uh, let me go see.
12:39Wow, you found them.
12:41I guess you know this place better than I do.
12:47Hello.
12:49To properly greet Japanese clients, you have to say,
12:52Kiyoko Tsukai!
12:54I'm certain I have something for you.
12:56Follow me!
12:57Excellent choice!
12:59Those hats are perfect for bright personalities!
13:03Dewa mata.
13:06You must always say, come again, to your honored clients.
13:09That way, they feel obligated to come back.
13:12See what I mean?
13:13So, you've reconsidered and want the lovely vase to be yours?
13:18Yes, I do.
13:19I'm sure you'll like it.
13:20I'm sure you'll like it.
13:21I'm sure you'll like it.
13:22I'm sure you'll like it.
13:23I'm sure you'll like it.
13:24I'm sure you'll like it.
13:25I'm sure you'll like it.
13:27Am I surprised, too?
13:33Not that.
13:34That's Uncle Laszlo.
13:35He's not for sale.
13:36I'll handle this.
13:37No, I will, thanks.
13:41I told them that object was the same color
13:44as the eternal flame of love.
13:45Soon, you'll be selling anything!
13:48Even cooked sushi!
13:49Oh, if we could sell all the junk Mr. Pirovsky
13:51wants to throw away, I'd be saved.
13:53Where's the washroom?
13:55Day four!
13:57Hey, I'm getting better at selling stuff.
14:00Hmm?
14:01To prove it, I'm gonna sell you a little gift for the beast.
14:05Ta-da!
14:06A magnificent fuchsia poodle jacket made of genuine latex.
14:11Sleek.
14:15A gift for a bride with allergies?
14:17How about a bouquet of synthetic flowers?
14:20Hypoallergenic guaranteed.
14:22Oh!
14:24Claude is awfully pale.
14:26He's gotta get more exercise.
14:28I have here a plate just his size, made to measure.
14:31Woo!
14:41At this rate, I won't have the money in for another three months.
14:46Moldy.
14:47Howdy, young man. I need meat. A lot of meat.
14:50I've been expecting a delivery, but the lazy lout hasn't shown up yet.
14:54You need meat? I had a bunch of it, but it's all rotting in the garbage bin.
14:58That's okay. It's to make hot dogs with.
15:01Do the words food poisoning mean anything to you at all, mister?
15:05No. Do green bags mean anything to you at all, kid?
15:20Why? Why does this happen to me?
15:39Clown shop.
15:40Sorry about the delay, but our delivery guy is backed up.
15:46No, I can't. I need to have someone in the store.
15:49I'll take care of the store.
15:51Are you sure you'll be able to handle it?
15:54Hello, um, I'm looking...
15:56The Fairtrade food section is in the back to the right.
16:00Okay, I'll deliver it. I'll be right there.
16:19Oh.
16:49Hmm?
17:20This crook wants money from our store!
17:23Assault on an inspector.
17:26This is gonna cost you, ouch, a lot, ouch.
17:29And damages, ouch. And interest.
17:31I want my money tomorrow. Or else.
17:35You! Leave Mrs. Pierowski alone!
17:38Or mark my words, I hunt you down like the dog you are!
17:42Do you know your bribe money will put an entire family out on the street?
17:46Do you know my bribe money will put my entire family in a swimming pool?
18:00Moldy.
18:04This is a nightmare.
18:05I don't even want to hear about it.
18:07Apparently the meaning of journalism internship means going to get everybody their stupid coffee.
18:12Soya, why do you always feel you have to speak to us?
18:15Hey, I know. Why don't you go and get us a couple coffees?
18:18Listen, girls, I think I might have a proposition for you.
18:30My love, I have some bad news to tell you.
18:34I... I got back together with...
18:37Oh, wow!
18:39I didn't mean to hurt you.
18:41I didn't mean to...
18:46Day 5
19:04A swimming pool for Larry! Courtesy of the Pierowskis.
19:08Don't quit your day job as a scam artist. You'll never make it as a singer.
19:11Give me my money.
19:13Oh, what a scam artist you are. Now you're trying to bribe me.
19:17You know, I think that's illegal.
19:19You think you're clever? I'm officially closing the store.
19:22Yet another example of corruption and bribery.
19:26An honest family business falls prey to an extortion scam by this greedy bureaucrat.
19:33Who's that?
19:34The greedy bureaucrat?
19:35That's you.
19:36Now we have the proof we need.
19:38Get out!
19:41The lizard who thinks he's a dragon always ends up burning his tongue.
19:47Die! Die!
19:53Laszlo!
20:01Sorry, Uncle Laszlo.
20:04Hey, didn't you used to work here?
20:06What's wrong?
20:08My Madonna has returned to the claws of her ex
20:13because he gave her a bouquet of synthetic flowers because she has allergies.
20:18Always good!
20:26What is it? What's wrong, Gigi?
20:28No, don't speak. Your face says it all.
20:32You happen to meet the girl of your dreams and following several delicious moments together
20:37you had a dinner of ribs and rolled around in a mini golf field.
20:41Then she left you and went back to the ex who left her at the altar.
20:45That's just about it. You left out one detail.
20:48She loves the polka.
20:50Mum and Pop just took one look at us and they knew exactly what we went through while they were away.
20:58So, how's our dear Uncle Laszlo?
21:01Actually...
21:04There he is. Never changes the old guy.
21:09Uncle Laszlo's last wishes were to repose in the shop which had given him so much happiness.
21:15So then, what's this?
21:17Here's ashtray. Uncle Laszlo smoked 40 packs a day.
21:20To show my appreciation for your wonderful work, I'd love to offer you a delicious snack of dairy meats.
21:34Oh, those hot dogs look delicious.
21:39Hard work keeps you healthy.
21:41But getting up early makes me sick.
22:33THE END