Fake.2024.S01e02
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00How can a man sitting in a bar know what the woman approaching him contains?
00:13How is the woman approaching that man meant to know that she should turn around and run?
00:18Eyes.
00:19Do you know Susan Fulay?
00:22Sorry, Joe.
00:23This online thing is a bit weird for me.
00:27How did your date with the sheep farmer go?
00:29You don't want to do this forever.
00:31I'm not single through laziness, Mum.
00:34I do try.
00:35I think you need to get realistic about what's still out there.
00:39Is it strange I thought about you when I first woke up today?
00:42Do you have a boyfriend?
00:45I think so.
00:47I'm Birdie Bell.
00:48I'm writing a feature on the soup van for The Weeknd magazine.
00:52That's Montana, a doctor in Algeria.
00:55Medicine, Soil, Frontier.
00:57You heard of them?
00:58Did you see Joe at the bar?
00:59I haven't heard from him.
01:00On record, babe.
01:01Just be the cool girl for once.
01:02I am the cool girl.
01:03I'm so very sorry to leave you hanging.
01:07Some stuff with the family came up.
01:09Can I make it up to you with a trip to my shack next weekend?
01:16I thought you said you wore gloves.
01:17I can't wear gloves working with sheep.
01:23You were onto me early.
01:28I'm sorry.
01:29I'm sorry.
01:30I'm sorry.
01:31I'm sorry.
01:32I'm sorry.
01:33I'm sorry.
01:34I'm sorry.
01:35I'm sorry.
01:36I'm sorry.
01:37I'm sorry.
01:38I'm sorry.
01:39I'm sorry.
01:40I'm sorry.
01:41I'm sorry.
01:42I'm sorry.
01:43I'm sorry.
01:44I'm sorry.
01:45I'm sorry.
01:46I'm sorry.
01:47I'm sorry.
01:48I'm sorry.
01:49I'm sorry.
01:50I'm sorry.
01:51I'm sorry.
01:52I'm sorry.
01:53I'm sorry.
01:54I'm sorry.
01:55I'm sorry.
01:56I'm sorry.
01:57I'm sorry.
01:58I'm sorry.
01:59I'm sorry.
02:00I'm sorry.
02:01I'm sorry.
02:02I'm sorry.
02:03I'm sorry.
02:04I'm sorry.
02:05I'm sorry.
02:06I'm sorry.
02:07I'm sorry.
02:08I'm sorry.
02:09I'm sorry.
02:10I'm sorry.
02:11I'm sorry.
02:12I'm sorry.
02:13I'm sorry.
02:14I'm sorry.
02:15I'm sorry.
02:16I'm sorry.
02:17I'm sorry.
02:18I'm sorry.
02:19I'm sorry.
02:20I'm sorry.
02:21I'm sorry.
02:22I'm sorry.
02:23I'm sorry.
02:24I'm sorry.
02:25I'm sorry.
02:26I'm sorry.
02:27I'm sorry.
02:28I'm sorry.
02:29I'm sorry.
02:30I'm sorry.
02:31I'm sorry.
02:32I'm sorry.
02:33I'm sorry.
02:34I'm sorry.
02:35I'm sorry.
02:36I'm sorry.
02:37I'm sorry.
02:38I'm sorry.
02:39I'm sorry.
02:40I'm sorry.
02:41I'm sorry.
02:42I'm sorry.
02:43I'm sorry.
02:44I'm sorry.
02:45I'm sorry.
02:46I'm sorry.
02:47I'm sorry.
02:48I'm sorry.
02:49I'm sorry.
02:50I'm sorry.
02:51I'm sorry.
02:52I'm sorry.
02:53I'm sorry.
02:54I'm sorry.
02:55I'm sorry.
02:56I'm sorry.
03:13It's more like a shed really,
03:14but it's mine.
03:15It's a place to retreat to
03:17when the pressures of the world
03:18get a little bit too much.
03:25My day.
03:45Give a dog a bone.
03:46Wish it was you warming me up.
03:47Tender is the lamb.
04:06Jumping in the shower.
04:07I'll spare you my stink of diesel, sweat and maggoty fox.
04:16Virginia.
04:17Virginia.
04:18Virginia.
04:19She's a great character and I agree, it's such a tragic story.
04:23I'm sorry to raise it again, I just don't really...
04:25The soup van angle was already a push.
04:27I can't tell upstairs, their winter soup article is now about familial abuse.
04:33The over 50s female homelessness epidemic and a dying heroin addict.
04:39You know what they'll say.
04:42That you're championing the female agenda?
04:45Some women over 50 are one life event away from homelessness.
04:48Tell that to the Stevesburg.
04:49I don't really want to profile her last days.
04:52A depths of the human soul story.
04:55People don't want depths of the human souls on the weekend.
04:57She's not depressing, Virginia.
04:59She's inspiring.
05:02Okay, do your interviews.
05:06But first, you look up that Instagram guy I emailed you.
05:11Awful guy?
05:13What's the deal?
05:16Glorious guts.
05:18Thank you.
05:19Hey.
05:20Yep.
05:21Okay.
05:22Thanks.
05:23Oh.
05:24Hey.
05:49Were you just thinking about me?
05:51No.
05:52I was thinking about the over 50s female homelessness epidemic.
05:57Too bad.
05:58I, on the other hand, have been thinking about you a lot.
06:01And the wonderful weekend we're about to have together.
06:05Do you think I need to pack a shirt for dinner?
06:07Oh, it's completely off grid.
06:09I mean, there's not even a town, let alone a restaurant.
06:13Okay.
06:14I'll pick you up at yours.
06:15Unless you want to drive.
06:18Sounds perfect.
06:19You're going to a remote cape with a man you just met on a dating app?
06:29I'm reviewing a couples-only retreat.
06:33You want me to run a quick background check on him?
06:35What for?
06:36Ah, court records, land titles, searches, anything you can think of.
06:39The world's not as scary and mean as you think it is.
06:43Doesn't take a second.
06:44This is a love story, not an investigation.
06:48Hi, tiger.
06:53Teach me, tiger, how to kiss you.
07:00Show me, tiger, how to kiss you.
07:09Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
07:12Take my lips.
07:15They belong to you.
07:20But teach me.
07:22Hi.
07:23Hey.
07:24Where did you park?
07:25I didn't see your car.
07:26Oh, just down the road a little bit.
07:27You got much?
07:28Is this it?
07:29Mm.
07:30It's a trap of lies.
07:31Yeah.
07:33Oh.
07:34Oh, what is it?
07:35Hang on.
07:36I've just got to ring Harry's swim coach.
07:41Yeah?
07:44Oh.
07:45Oh, is he OK?
07:48Right.
07:49And what have you rung Mary?
07:52Oh.
07:54I'm about to drive out of town for the weekend.
07:59Yeah.
08:00Yeah, yeah.
08:01I understand.
08:02OK.
08:04Mm-hmm.
08:05All right, I'm on my way.
08:06OK, bye.
08:09Everything all right?
08:10No, there's been an accident.
08:11Harry was running by the side of the pool.
08:13He slipped and he split his head open.
08:14He's at the hospital.
08:15Mary's gone AWOL.
08:16Right.
08:17Well, is he OK?
08:18Yeah, he's conscious.
08:19They're running tests.
08:20But I'm going to have to.
08:22Oh, you've got to be with your boy.
08:23No, of course.
08:24You've got to go.
08:25I was looking forward to a weekend.
08:26And I feel awful.
08:28No, don't.
08:29Don't even worry about me.
08:30Just go.
08:31OK, will you still go?
08:32Yeah, no, I don't know.
08:33Yes, probably.
08:34Look, I'll follow as soon as I find out what's going on.
08:36Will you?
08:37Yes, yeah.
08:38OK.
08:39I'm so sorry.
08:40It's OK.
08:41Let me know how he is.
08:42You go.
08:43Yeah.
08:44Poor Harry.
08:45Yeah, OK.
08:46I'll be in touch.
08:47Yeah.
08:48The
09:13boy's asleep.
09:14Still no sign of Mary.
09:16She has health issues related to a thyroid and has these episodes often.
09:20It's hardest on the children.
09:22I guess I'll have to put my own wants and needs aside to sort out this latest bit of
09:27WTF.
09:40The doctor let me know Harry actually slept because he was dizzy, a side effect of inflamed
09:45adenoids.
09:46Mary was supposed to organise for them to be removed, now they'll have to be extracted
09:50tonight.
09:51Oh, God.
09:52Siri, text Joe back.
09:53What do you want to say?
09:55Can he still be operated on with concussion?
09:58Send.
09:59OK, sending.
10:00It's not an issue.
10:16Stitches.
10:34Mary's arrived at the hospital and made a scene, abusing the nurses.
10:44Mary's been thrown out.
10:48Unfortunate timing for one of her episodes.
10:51It's terrible for the children.
10:53I need to be here to protect them while the meds level her out again.
10:57Looks like I won't be making it after all.
10:59I'm so sorry.
11:29I'm so sorry.
11:59I'm so sorry.
12:29I'm so sorry.
12:59I'm so sorry.
13:19I'm so sorry.
13:39What are you doing?
14:04It's the middle of the night.
14:06You said you weren't coming.
14:08Oh, Bertie.
14:09Oh, God.
14:10Have you got what you can do?
14:11Blame me for that thing.
14:12God, remind me not to mess with you.
14:14Don't mess with me.
14:15I'm not messing with you.
14:16Hey.
14:17I just didn't want to wake you.
14:20It's OK.
14:22Bertie, it's OK.
14:23It's OK.
14:26Where's your car?
14:27I didn't hear your car.
14:28I walked up the driveway.
14:30The night doctor who lives in the area who just dropped me off the road.
14:34Didn't think it was a good idea for me to drive after such an emotional night.
14:39Oh, Mary made a scene.
14:41I ordered pizzas for the old bloody ward to thank the nurses for their help and their, you know, their patience.
14:50You OK?
14:54It's OK.
14:55God, you wouldn't believe what I've had.
14:57Yeah?
14:58All good?
14:59All good?
15:00Bertie?
15:01Bertie?
15:02Boo!
15:03Jesus!
15:04Stop it!
15:07You all have a drink?
15:33Bertie?
15:58Bertie?
16:01You make me feel things I didn't think I'd feel again.
16:19What's this?
16:23Broken collarbone.
16:25Pull off your horns, cowboy.
16:31You do no dork as a sheep.
16:36Mary.
16:38Mary broke your collarbone?
16:41Yeah, pushed me off a ladder.
16:44On purpose?
16:46Oh, yeah.
16:47She meant it, all right.
16:51Jesus.
16:54What about you?
16:56Hmm?
16:57Any bad exes?
17:01Are we talking about our exes?
17:03Yeah, I guess we are.
17:04I don't know.
17:05I didn't want to do that.
17:07Really?
17:08Yeah.
17:09I don't know.
17:10What, so it's just me who talks about bad exes?
17:12That's not fair.
17:16Well, there was my married journalism professor.
17:24Scandal.
17:25Oh, I was barely 20.
17:28It seemed like a big, exciting romance.
17:34I felt very worldly and grown up.
17:40Hindsight tells a different story.
17:45Yeah, well, there's a lot of predatory men out there.
17:51And, of course, there's Anton.
17:55I mean, he's not a bad ex.
17:58It is kind of silly.
18:00We dated for about six months at uni.
18:06I just thought he was a stylish dresser.
18:10Is it weird?
18:12Anton?
18:13No.
18:14No, no, no, he's like a brother to me.
18:18He's been part of the furniture at my place my whole life.
18:23He came out to my mum before his own.
18:27Mum thinks that Rory's basically her granddaughter.
18:32Why's that?
18:33Why, because she didn't get a grandchild from you?
18:39Well, no.
18:42Actually, they asked me to be an egg donor.
18:48But I thought I might still meet someone and have one of my own, so...
18:59Do you regret that?
19:04Rory and I are really close.
19:08I'm over there a couple of times a week for dinner.
19:11She's my goddaughter.
19:17What was Mary like before?
19:19The love of your life?
19:20No, she wasn't the love of my life.
19:24Who was?
19:31Tessa.
19:32Tessa Raine.
19:34Smartest woman I ever met.
19:38Yeah, I fell in love with her one day when she found me sobbing in the shower
19:44and she said, you poor thing.
19:47And then she just got in the shower and embraced me, fully clothed.
20:04I can relate.
20:08I've been on medication for anxiety for a few years now.
20:15Well, soon you won't need any of that stuff anymore.
20:34You want to go for a walk?
20:59I could take some pics.
21:03Apparently there's some wild oysters that we can take.
21:06They've left a bucket and a knife.
21:10Joe?
21:14Joe?
21:29Can you not?
21:31I've just got some work to do.
21:33Oh, sorry.
22:01Okay.
22:10See you soon.
22:24See you soon.
22:54See you soon.
23:24No.
23:39No.
23:53Fuck you.
24:06Joe, do you want to leave?
24:09Oh, you're back.
24:11God, you were gone for so long.
24:14Hey.
24:15Gone for so long I thought you'd left me.
24:18Hey, please don't leave me.
24:21I love you.
24:25You know, sometimes my life is pure chaos and I shouldn't take it out on you.
24:34I love you.
24:43I love you.
25:01I love you.
25:07I love you too.
25:31Check out's at two o'clock.
25:33We should probably get going.
25:36I've got a surprise for you.
25:39What?
25:41A night at Crown Towers.
25:44Tonight.
25:47Don't you have to get back for Harry?
25:50No, no, I've got it on Tim.
25:51He's right as rain.
25:52He's even aiming a sleepover at one of his friend's places tonight.
25:57Here you go.
26:00You book it.
26:01You can even get the, get a grand suite if you like.
26:04I'll put the...
26:06Oh, that'll be expensive.
26:08Oh, don't worry about it.
26:09It's all good.
26:11Well, they just, they'll need a credit card to...
26:13Yeah, it's okay if you use your credit card.
26:15I don't have a credit card.
26:16I refuse to pay the bloody bank fees.
26:18I just might not have enough in mine.
26:20No, no, no.
26:21I've got cash.
26:22Bill, give me the cash when we get there.
26:52Hey, it's Cookie from All Angels Chapel.
27:11Tina has been taken to the hospital.
27:13They are turning up her morphine and she might not make it through the night.
27:16So you might want to come see her as soon as you can.
27:19Okay, bye.
27:21Right this way, sir.
27:22Thank you.
27:28The All Angels Chapel just left a message.
27:30My subject's not doing well.
27:33They've moved her to palliative.
27:34Oh, that's awful.
27:35I hope she gets better.
27:43There's the thousand dollar a night view.
27:48We better get dressed for dinner.
27:49We're meeting Alan downstairs in half an hour.
27:53Alan's here?
27:54Yeah, he wants me to present at a high-level meeting tomorrow on wind farm technology
27:59with a delegation connected to the Chinese president.
28:02The Chinese president?
28:03The Chinese president's not going to be here himself, obviously,
28:06but his officials are interested in what we're doing with renewables.
28:11Oh, shit.
28:13I've done it again, haven't I?
28:15Oh, it just would have been nice to know.
28:17I'm sorry.
28:19Communication is not my strong suit, is it?
28:22I'm sorry.
28:25Okay.
28:26Come on, get ready.
28:48You brought a suit to the Cape?
29:10I'll be prepared.
29:11My grandfather taught me business 24-7.
29:16Well, how fancy is this restaurant, Joe?
29:18Because I brought nothing.
29:20Oh, shit.
29:21I thought we were packing for a beach weekend.
29:24Yeah, he's drained the shared bank account.
29:28He's only supposed to access it with a kid's school fees.
29:33If you use your credit card, I don't have a credit card.
29:35If you use your credit card, I refuse to pay the bloody bank fees.
29:53So we already hold the licences for the initial wind monitoring,
29:56and the measurements so far are very promising.
29:58The land value is going to skyrocket
30:00once the government announces the renewable energy zone for their 2030 targets.
30:16So you're looking at 3,000 to 4,000 per megawatt,
30:19which is what, 30,000 per turbine per year.
30:22Now, you put 10 of those gentle giants up,
30:24you're looking at a minimum of 300,000 per year
30:26for that piece of scrappy, unused land.
30:29So you're looking at 3,000 to 4,000 per megawatt,
30:32which is what, 30,000 per turbine per year.
30:35If you use your credit card, I don't have a credit card.
30:38I refuse to pay the bloody bank fees.
30:40Go to the bathroom.
30:43Oh, we just got a call.
30:45Your location is available.
30:47Oh, hello.
31:04I've got cash. I shall give you the cash when we get there.
31:12Here, he's trying the shared bank account.
31:43Oh, my God.
31:56Just keep the money all to himself.
31:58He's just enjoying himself.
32:00Or is it for free?
32:04Talk to the wife. Be honest.
32:07I never thought about it.
32:09I never realized that.
32:12Oh, no, no. It's never true.
32:14It's never true.
32:16Oh, yeah.
32:17It's all in cash.
32:18It's all in cash.
32:19You have to declare that.
32:20Oh, wow.
32:21It's not much.
32:22You can do it for fun.
32:28We pay, like, $60 per year.
32:30Thank you very much.
32:31Now, for free.
32:33Yes.
32:34Five years ago, it was still paid.
32:36Now, it's free.
32:38Yeah, you may want more hospital.
32:43Well, that went well.
32:47You thought I wouldn't be able to pay for dinner, didn't you?
32:58Here, that's good enough.
33:00Oh, I'm really happy to pay my share.
33:02Oh, you can pay for breakfast.
33:05It's included.
33:06It's included.
33:10I promise not to involve you in any more boring business meetings.
33:13Oh, no, it wasn't boring.
33:15It was just Alan, though.
33:18I did think there was something quite right.
33:21You really knew your stuff, though.
33:24Sustainability is a passion of mine.
33:26You know Wayne Swan, the ex-treasurer?
33:28He wants to meet me and talk about some of my ideas.
33:30Does he?
33:32Oh.
33:33What in particular?
33:35I don't know.
33:36A friend of mine who admires my business acumen set up a meeting.
33:40I'll go along, see what he has to say for himself.
33:50I do really want to be part of your life.
33:54Even the boring dinners.
33:59I'm sorry I doubted you.
34:06I want to be part of yours.
34:22Wayne!
34:23No!
34:24Wayne!
34:25Don't touch me!
34:27Don't come. No way.
34:29Go away.
34:32Don't touch me.
34:35Don't you come near me.
34:37Don't touch.
34:38Wake up.
34:39No.
34:40You hit me.
34:42No.
34:45No, I didn't.
34:46You hurt me, Doug.
34:47No.
34:49No, I didn't.
34:51It's OK.
34:53It's OK.
34:55It's OK. I'm sorry.
34:58I'm sorry.
35:00I'm sorry, Kirsty.
35:06I'm sorry.
35:08I didn't mean it.
35:10I didn't mean it.
35:12It's OK.
35:14Just go back to sleep.
35:16I should.
35:24It's a wide open road.
35:27It's a wide open road.
35:31It's a wide open road.
35:34It's a wide open road.
35:37And now you can go to any place that you want to go.
35:46Tina was more St Kilda than St Kilda.
35:52She was always so proud of her beautiful daughter,
35:55who, as she would happily tell anyone who asked,
35:58and possibly also everybody who didn't ask,
36:03was a doctor working with Medicine Sands Frontier.
36:08I was with Tina in her final moments
36:10and she talked about how proud she was of you.
36:14I'll miss you, Tina.
36:17Montana, would you like to say something?
36:24Yeah.
36:26I've got something to say.
36:30Whoever you are all eulogising,
36:34I don't recognise her at all.
36:37I work in a childcare centre in Chadston.
36:40I've never even been overseas.
36:45It's all fucking lies.
36:59It's all fucking lies.
37:29Well, I'm mentoring Alan through this Chinese deal, after all.
37:49I guess I'm always a sucker for the underdog.
37:52I should be at yours by 6pm. Save some dinner for me.
38:00Yeah.
38:06Yeah, Tessa. Tessa Raine.
38:10Smartest woman I ever met.
38:13Yeah, I fell in love with her one day when she...
38:16She found me sobbing in the shower and she said,
38:19you poor thing.
38:21And then she got in the shower and embraced me.
38:24Fully clothed.
38:26Yeah, Tessa.
38:28Fucking ridiculous.
38:59I love you.
39:02I love you too.
39:05I love you too.
39:28I love you too.
39:58I love you too.
40:28I love you too.