the ghosts of motley hall - season 3 episode 4
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01:04Oh, he's very late.
01:06I don't think he's coming.
01:08But we always play bridge on Thursdays,
01:10and Sir George wouldn't forget a thing like that.
01:12Maybe his sister won't let him come.
01:14Ugh, Alexandra.
01:16You've got to admit that, well, since she joined us,
01:19we ain't seen much of him.
01:20Well, I expect they've got a lot to talk about, you know.
01:23Old times.
01:25Old croaky matters.
01:27Do you reckon it was an accident?
01:29Oh, I can't imagine Sir George killing anyone on purpose.
01:32No, not even Alexandra.
01:34Do you reckon she'd have beaten him if he hadn't...
01:36Well, you know, if the accident hadn't happened.
01:39Oh, I'll never know now, will we?
01:41Come on, let's play a snap.
01:43Oh, yes, yes.
01:45Oh, I'm not...
01:47You're doing funny.
01:49Much good has, however, been effected in the colony
01:52by the schools and missions established for the benefit of the people,
01:57notwithstanding the combined efforts of the Kingdom of Darkness...
02:01Excuse me, Alexandra.
02:03..to prevent their influence.
02:05Excuse me, Alexandra, but they are expecting me.
02:07Let them.
02:09But to reckon a thing on Thursdays...
02:11Many hundreds...
02:13You always were a creature of habit, George,
02:15especially if it was a bad one.
02:17This gambling has become more than a thoughtless pastime.
02:20It's become an addiction, a disease.
02:24Where does this reckless dissipation take place?
02:29Where, George?
02:31Oh, in the, uh, bell tower.
02:37Stay!
02:46Stop!
02:48Ah!
02:52Give them to me.
02:54But we were just... Francis!
02:58Cards are the invention of the devil.
03:01Now, just one moment.
03:03I'm not in the habit of conversing with anonymous and unchaperoned females
03:07who gamble in their nightgowns.
03:09Nightgowns?!
03:11Nightgowns?!
03:25Ah, yes.
03:27That was my Lady Marjorie's delight.
03:29Now, here's an old favourite of Will Shakespeare's.
03:32Tickler in the Buttery.
03:36If you play that whistle thing again, I shall confiscate it.
03:41Oh!
03:48Don't dawdle, George!
03:53We've simply got to get rid of her.
03:55I feel sorry for Sir George now.
03:57I feel sorry for us all.
03:59Couldn't he help us?
04:01She never lets him out of her sight.
04:03He trots after her like a lap dog.
04:05He does everything she tells him.
04:07If only we could talk to him.
04:09Then let's play a dark little game.
04:13And furthermore, I insist that that young lout goes back to the tables immediately.
04:18Right, but...
04:19He has ideas about his station.
04:21It's on the front that he's in Motley.
04:23But... I dismiss that ill-bred Elizabethan
04:25and that insolent hussy who slummoxed about in her shift,
04:28if it were possible, but the boy must go.
04:31But... but, Alexandra, we're all the same now.
04:37The same?
04:39Yes, I mean that we're all in the same boat.
04:43I may be in the same boat,
04:45but I don't intend hobnobbing with the cabin boy.
04:48I love to drink and gamble
04:50I love to kiss Renelle
04:52I love to dance and sing and swell
04:54And I'm sure I'll go to...
04:56George! What is that?
04:58It sounds like vodka.
05:00This is an outrage!
05:02How drunk has drowned my father
05:04I'll admonish him. Stay!
05:06My brother, he'll drown his cares
05:08And worse his sisters too.
05:10Ouch!
05:11What?
05:12Come on, Sir George.
05:13I can't.
05:15Come on!
05:21So both men burn a candle
05:23To drive their cares away
05:25No need to fear tomorrow
05:28T'will be another...
05:32Day.
05:34Oh!
05:35And I swear
05:37I'll never behave badly again
05:40I'll even...
05:43Help Gudgeon to sell...
05:45Motley.
05:46I'll do anything you want
05:48If only you'll help me to get rid of Alexandra.
05:52We can't say we can't.
05:54We can't wait.
05:59All right.
06:05But are we going to do it?
06:07We'll never force her to leave.
06:09Never. Alexandra has a will of iron.
06:11Then we've got to persuade her.
06:13You might as well persuade a shark not to bite you.
06:15I don't know why you're so afraid of her.
06:17I always have been.
06:19Couldn't we bribe her?
06:21Give her a present?
06:23His head on a plate.
06:25She must have a weakness somewhere.
06:27A chink in her armour.
06:29I don't think so.
06:30Everybody has.
06:31Not Alexandra.
06:33Well, I'd better get back.
06:35She'll be wondering where I've got to.
06:37Stay there, Sir George.
06:39Fanny, go and find the chink.
06:44The chink?
06:46The chink in her armour.
06:48Discover her weakness.
06:50Must I?
06:52There's nothing to be frightened of.
06:55Take Mac with you.
07:04Oh.
07:06Hello.
07:08Good afternoon, Francis.
07:10Have you seen my brother?
07:12We...
07:14No.
07:18What's the book?
07:20Household Management.
07:22Oh, yes.
07:24Very good.
07:34Oh, yes.
07:36Common war, ain't it?
07:38The time of year.
07:40It is midsummer.
07:42Yes, yes. So it is.
07:45Stop procrastinating.
07:47Yes, I will.
07:49Where have you come?
07:51I just happen to be passing.
07:53It's a favourite haunt of mine.
07:55Ain't it, Matt?
07:57Don't prevaricate.
07:59No, I won't do that.
08:04Ain't you bored in Motley?
08:07I'm never bored.
08:09Besides, I have George to redeem.
08:12Since you passed on, you've let yourselves go
08:15and become idle and dissolute.
08:17But bringing me back has given me the chance
08:20to reorganise and reform,
08:22whatever I might prefer to do.
08:24Er...
08:26Prefer to do?
08:28Do you think I'd stay here from choice?
08:30Yes, he hasn't choice.
08:32George cut me off at the final hoop.
08:34It was an accident.
08:36Accident? For the first time,
08:38for the first time, I was beating him.
08:41His dreadful act denied me my triumph.
08:44Do you think you'd obey him?
08:46Such impertinence. I know I wouldn't.
08:49I think what Matt...
08:51I wish to be left alone, Francis.
08:53If you see Sir George, tell him to return here immediately.
08:56Yes, come on.
08:59But we haven't discovered...
09:01I think we have.
09:08I think I know what's brought her back.
09:10What? Croaky.
09:12I don't follow.
09:14She'd have beaten Sir George if he hadn't...
09:16You know, if the accident hadn't happened.
09:18Has she?
09:20Perhaps that's all she wants, to beat him at croaky.
09:23I don't think so. I'm sure of it.
09:25And I reckon if she wants, she'd go.
09:28Ah, thank you.
09:32Do sit down, Mr... Fortescue.
09:34Mr Fortescue.
09:36H.R. Fortescue.
09:38Oh, yes.
09:40Well, Mr Fortescue...
09:42I picked this up in your local bookshop.
09:44They told me the house is for sale.
09:46Sir Sheffield's History of Motley, yes.
09:48Could I see the place? I rather like the sound of it.
09:51You mean you might be interested in buying it?
09:54If that book's anything to go by.
09:56Yes, well, how about this afternoon?
09:59I don't think I've got anybody looking over it today.
10:02Accident!
10:04All Sir George has to do is let Alexandra win,
10:06she'll leave us in peace.
10:08Are you sure? I'm not sure, but it's worth trying.
10:10Do you think he'll let her? He don't like losing.
10:12Of course he'll let her. He wants to get rid of her, doesn't he?
10:15Where are you going?
10:17He can't play croaky without them hoops and things.
10:19I'd better go and make sure Gudgeon hasn't taken them away.
10:22Now, don't forget, if he wins, she'll stay.
10:24But if she wins, she'll go.
10:33If she wins, she'll stay.
10:36No, he'll stay, I think.
10:39And if he wins, she'll go.
10:54If he wins, she'll go.
11:14Well, did you discover her weakness?
11:17Yes. Good man.
11:19I think. What is it?
11:21Croaky. Croaky?
11:23She wants to play croaky with you.
11:26No, no. I couldn't. Not after what happened.
11:29Of course you can't.
11:31If she stays, you'll win.
11:34But if she wins, you'll go.
11:37I?
11:39Yes. No.
11:41No, that's not right.
11:43If you win... She'll go?
11:45Yes. And if she wins...
11:47She'll stay?
11:49Yes. Yes.
11:51So you've got to lose.
11:53No, you idiot. He's got a whiff.
11:55No, no. Lose.
11:57No, win, Fanny. If he wins, she'll go.
11:59And if she wins, you'll go.
12:02No. He can't go.
12:04If she wins, she'll stay.
12:07Something like that, yes.
12:09Have you told them? I think so.
12:11There's one problem. What's that?
12:13How's Sir George going to get outside?
12:15Well, I have been out.
12:17Only because you lost your temper.
12:19If that's the answer, you'll have to lose your temper.
12:21But I can't. You're always doing it.
12:23Not since Alexander arrived.
12:25A fella can't just lose his temper without being provoked.
12:28How much provoking do you need?
12:30Go on, Sir George. Off you go.
12:32Where to? To Alexander, of course.
12:34Must I? We don't want her back up here again.
12:37Besides, you're going to challenge her to a game of croaking.
12:40Bingo! You're right. Yes, of course.
12:43What if she doesn't want to play?
12:45She's dying to play. Oh, really?
12:47She wants to very much.
12:49But she's never beaten me.
12:51She's going to, isn't she?
12:53Whose side are you on? Yours, Sir George.
12:55Go on, Sir George. She's expecting you.
12:57That's it. Up the uproars!
12:59Up the uproars!
13:11Ah, there you are, George.
13:13Yes, my dear.
13:15Here I am.
13:17Where have you been?
13:20Writing me memoirs.
13:22How very boring.
13:24I can't imagine you ever doing anything worth writing about.
13:35Ah...
13:37Lovely day.
13:39Perfect day for a game of croaking.
13:42What was that?
13:44Huh? Oh, nothing.
13:46Don't lie, George.
13:48You said it was a perfect day for croaking.
13:50I was just thinking aloud.
13:52That's all. Sorry.
13:57Madge tells me the lawn's looking particularly good just now.
14:02Virgin's got it back to tip-top playing condition.
14:07Better yet... What?
14:09What? Oh.
14:11It isn't even worth thinking about.
14:13You're being very devious, George.
14:15Why don't you speak your mind?
14:17Well, I was just thinking it's a pity
14:19that our last game was so...
14:21undecided, that's all.
14:23Oh. If we played again, things would be very different.
14:26Then why don't we? Very well.
14:28Do you accept the challenge? I do. Right.
14:30To the croaking lawn!
14:38Sir George.
14:40Oh.
14:43Oh.
14:48Oh.
14:50It's no use.
14:52Yeah. You mean you ain't?
14:54Yes. Because, er...
14:56Because you're a weak-kneed, spineless shag.
14:58You're a cowardly jellyfish. You're a muckworm.
15:00You're a half-baked mop-squeezer.
15:02You're a scanty-faced ragbox. Yes.
15:04Mumbo-crusted lollipop.
15:06What's the matter with him? Why doesn't he get angry?
15:08Because he's been under a thumb so long, he's forgotten how to be.
15:11Oh, bugger, George, where's your spirit?
15:13Yeah. You ain't in general at all.
15:15You're a scrim-shagging malingerer.
15:17Trying to make me angry, ain't you?
15:19The trouble is, I agree with you.
15:21I can face shot and shell and the fuzzy wazzies,
15:25but one word from Alexander and I'm finished.
15:28But, sir George...
15:30Poké was the only way I could assert myself.
15:33I always beat her.
15:35That's how the accident occurred.
15:38She was cheating.
15:40I lost me temper and hit the ball too hard.
15:43Why don't you go out and beat her again?
15:45Go on. Go on.
15:47You'll wipe the lawn with her.
15:49Think of the snubs you'll have to put up with.
15:52You'll have to tempt her.
15:54You'll have to tempt her.
15:56Superior ass. Constant scorn.
15:58I told you.
16:00Her narrow-minded petty purity.
16:02Poisonous tongue.
16:04Her bigotry.
16:06I shall knife her.
16:08I shall cut her into the black of her heart.
16:10My other son will engulf her.
16:15He's got it!
16:21Yes!
16:23Listen, we'll get away fine.
16:30There you are, my dear.
16:37What's that?
16:39Call?
16:41Oh, heads.
16:45It's tails.
16:47So, eyes shall begin.
16:49Why not?
17:06What's that?
17:08What's that?
17:10What's that?
17:12What's that?
17:14What's that?
17:16What's that?
17:18What's that?
17:20What's that?
17:22What's that?
17:24What's that?
17:26What's that?
17:28What's that?
17:30What's that?
17:32What's that?
17:35What's that?
17:37What's that?
17:39What's that?
17:41What's that?
17:43What's that?
17:57Please...
17:59It wouldn't be easy.
18:01He's supposed to lose.
18:03Lose?
18:04Of course.
18:05If she wins, she'll go.
18:07But if he wins, she'll stay.
18:09Are you sure?
18:11It stands to reason.
18:13She's no need to stay on if she beats him.
18:15But if she doesn't, she'll remain here,
18:17making things miserable for all of us.
18:19Out of spite.
18:21So he's got to lose.
18:23He's got another hook!
18:26Dread.
18:27You must tell him.
18:28You must tell him at once.
18:30He won't listen now.
18:31You've got to make him.
18:42Sir George!
18:43Get off the log!
18:45Winning easily.
18:46You've got to lose.
18:48Lose?
18:50Fanny got it wrong.
18:51She'll leave Motley if she wins,
18:53not if you win.
18:55Don't you see?
18:56It's the only thing she hasn't been able to do to you.
19:00Fiend.
19:02So you say.
19:03I can't let her win.
19:04I can't. I can't.
19:05It's that.
19:06Or Alexandra forever.
19:08What?
19:14Oh!
19:15How inept.
19:26How inept.
19:56How inept.
20:27Congratulations, my dear.
20:29I've beaten you.
20:31Beaten you easily.
20:33Who's the better player now?
20:35My dear Alexandra,
20:37you are.
20:49Farewell!
20:51Farewell!
20:53Farewell!
20:55Farewell!
21:09You were right, Matt.
21:11She's gone for good.
21:18Free of Alexandra.
21:19Free to do as I please
21:21and say what I like.
21:22Free to haunt Motley.
21:25Free.
21:26Bravo, Sir George!
21:28You lost beautifully.
21:30No, he didn't lose. He let her win.
21:32Well, believe me, my friends,
21:34the sacrifice was well worth it.
21:36Scudgeoning another man.
21:40Looks like a buyer.
21:41A buyer, eh?
21:43Ah, Sir George, remember your promise.
21:46Yes.
21:47Oh, well.
21:48He can sell Motley if he wants to.
21:51Oh!
21:55No more howling or moaning.
21:57No more tricks.
21:58No more footsteps.
21:59No more clanking chains.
22:00No more moving things.
22:01No more anything nice and cheerful.
22:03I'd agree to warm and friendly,
22:05and honestly, I'm...
22:06No!
22:07No?
22:08It's very nice.
22:09I'm not saying it isn't.
22:10Very historic, of course,
22:12but it's not for me.
22:14But you haven't seen over the rest of the place.
22:16No.
22:17No?
22:18No.
22:19No.
22:20No.
22:21No.
22:22No.
22:23You haven't seen over the rest of the place yet.
22:24I know, but I'm looking for something really spooky.
22:29Something to fit my image as a writer of ghost stories
22:33and the macabre.
22:34I'm H.R. Fortescue.
22:36Oh!
22:37They came from your own tale.
22:39He's haunted.
22:40Motley Hall is haunted, Mr. Fortescue.
22:43It really is.
22:44No, Mr. Scudgeon.
22:45I'd never write another book
22:47if I lived in a warm and cheerful place like this.
22:50Right.
22:52But I've seen things here myself.
22:55I can assure you there's nothing here.
22:57Nothing at all.
22:58And I need somewhere strange and chilly.
23:02Right, all together now.
23:04Ooh!
23:05There!
23:06There, look at her!
23:09Nice try, Mr. Scudgeon.
23:11There are no ghosts in Motley Hall.
23:14And I am a sensitive.
23:18Very disappointed.
23:20Oh!
23:21Oh!
23:22There's no point, Janika!
23:24Go away!
23:26Oh!
23:50Oh!
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