These Randy Marsh quotes are guaranteed to make you bust a gut. Welcome to WatchMojo and today we’re counting down our picks for the funniest, strangest, and most absurd quotes that Stan’s father has ever uttered.
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00:00What's up, bro? What, bro? Sup, bro? Take a swing, bro! Right here, bro!
00:04Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the funniest,
00:09strangest, and most absurd quotes that Stan's father has ever uttered. I'm not having a glass of wine.
00:16I'm having six. It's called a tasting and it's classy.
00:21Number 30. We have that, Stan.
00:24It's called Friday Night Kegger. A new kid, Gary, arrives at South Park Elementary.
00:29And all the kids want Stan to beat him up.
00:32All right, I'm gonna go kick his ass. Yeah, go, Stan!
00:34When Stan confronts Gary, he's shocked to find out that Gary is really nice.
00:39He invites Stan to have dinner with his family later that night. While there, Stan learns that Gary's family has
00:46family home evening, where they don't watch TV, but entertain each other by playing music and telling stories.
00:53Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love my family. My family is the best.
00:58Once Stan returns to his home, he asks Randy why they don't do the same type of activities.
01:03Randy insists that they do, but call them Friday Night Kegger.
01:07How come we never have a night where we don't watch any TV and we just do stuff together and eat and drink?
01:11We have that, Stan. It's called Friday Night Kegger.
01:13But that's just you and your friends. As Stan rightly points out, that's not family time, but good try, Randy.
01:20Number 29. Don't you see? Walmart isn't our enemy. It's our neighborhood friend.
01:27Walmart opens up in South Park and its residents are super excited.
01:31Look at it, honey. It's so big. It's like we're a real town now.
01:38Its arrival legitimizes the town and offers really good deals.
01:42What they don't realize at first is that the store is crushing the local economy as
01:48no one can compete with Walmart's low prices.
01:51Randy ends up getting a job since you can get an additional discount as an employee.
01:56Even though he'd make more money as a geologist, and even though he knows it's bad to shop there,
02:02he just can't resist the allure of Walmart, giving us this hilarious rationalization.
02:08You get a discount working here. Ten percent. That means the bargains are even better.
02:12Dad, you're a geologist.
02:14I'll make less money, sure, but as long as I buy everything at Walmart, it'll all even out. Don't you see?
02:20Walmart isn't our enemy. It's our neighborhood friend.
02:23Number 28. I don't have any change.
02:26South Park begins to attract the unhoused in large numbers.
02:30The town doesn't know how to deal with the problem,
02:33but is advised to not give them anything as it could encourage more people to show up.
02:38I do know that we must be extremely careful.
02:42If we give them anything, there could be more.
02:45Kyle gives $20 to an unhoused man and soon even more people show up.
02:50They all wander around the town asking for spare change.
02:53While trying to get to work, Randy is asked several times for change.
02:58Becoming increasingly panicked, he claims not to have any until he feels bad and gives some to an individual.
03:05This only encourages more people to ask for change,
03:09and he's comically overrun by people continually asking for change.
03:14I don't have any change! I don't have any change!
03:19Number 27. If we're still alive in the morning, then we'll know we're not dead.
03:24The town's folk are in a massive panic when it's revealed that Family Guy is going to air an episode
03:30that will depict the Islamic prophet Muhammad.
03:33Why would Family Guy so blatantly insult Muslims?
03:36Because Family Guy doesn't care who they insult. They only care about their precious money.
03:41Everyone takes refuge in the community center, but Stan can't see what the fuss is all about.
03:47The episode is reported to be airing that evening,
03:50and already protests are erupting in different parts of the world in response to Family Guy.
03:55Uncertain of what exactly will go down, people are understandably scared,
04:00prompting Randy to quip that if they're alive in the morning, they'll know they haven't died.
04:05Which is like, super obvious.
04:08We stay here through the night, wait it out to see if they do anything.
04:12If we're still alive in the morning, then we'll know we're not dead.
04:16Number 26.
04:18Don't you know every time you wave confederate flags around, you make the rest of us look stupid?
04:24Randy and Sharon have their own home renovation show called White People Renovating Houses.
04:29Our job is to deliver the maximum wow factor for the least amount of budget.
04:34There's never a dull moment.
04:36Guys, are you ready to see your renovation on White People Renovating Houses?
04:42Randy does the construction and Sharon is responsible for the interior design and decoration.
04:47It's a clear parody of the multitude of house flipping shows on HGTV.
04:52While trying to film, Randy is interrupted by a group of rednecks protesting in the street
04:58about Amazon's Alexa and other forms of automation taking their jobs
05:02while frequently waving the confederate flag.
05:05Don't you know every time you wave confederate flags around, you make the rest of us look stupid?
05:09Those things are replacing us!
05:12Put the flag down unless you want to get pepper sprayed.
05:14Randy confronts them about it and you'd think maybe he's concerned about their white nationalism.
05:19But nope.
05:20In a funny twist, he's concerned people will associate his show with their hatefulness.
05:26Number 25.
05:28Sup, witches.
05:29The week before Halloween is Witch Week, where Randy and several of his buds go up to Sentinel Hill to party.
05:36Hey Sharon, did you see the box of Jack Daniels?
05:39Oh no, you're not doing this again.
05:42What do you mean? Of course I am.
05:43Randy's at home getting ready before the other witches arrive to pick him up.
05:47It may seem like a harmless little event, but Sharon isn't thrilled about it
05:52since it's really just an excuse for everyone to get wasted.
05:55You know the week leading up to Halloween is always my witch party week with the guys.
05:59Yeah, and you guys get wasted.
06:01We have some drinks.
06:03She has good reason to be concerned, as this year an actual witch is released upon the town.
06:09We do, however, get a light-hearted moment when Randy's ride pulls up.
06:13He greets his friends with a fun little,
06:15Sup, witches.
06:17before getting into the car.
06:18Sup, witches.
06:21Alright, Randy's got the JD.
06:23Number 24.
06:25I'm so startled.
06:26It's a chaotic scene when Randy steps out of his house to find people running for their lives
06:32from gigantic guinea pigs.
06:34What's going on, Dad?
06:35Get back to your room, Shelly.
06:46What's going on?
06:47They're all over the place.
06:49At the same time, he started to videotape all his interactions,
06:52much to the annoyance of his whole family.
06:55In fact, he was about to be chewed out by Sharon before the guinea pigs attacked.
07:00Randy, I swear to God if you don't put that thing away.
07:02Sharon, you're going to be really glad I have all this footage of the family someday.
07:06I mean it, Randy. That's enough.
07:08You don't have to videotape every single...
07:09Well, caught in the rampage,
07:11Randy is filming the entire thing, so we get his POV of the carnage.
07:16As he tries to run away to safety,
07:18he turns the camera on himself,
07:20and in a deep panic tells us he's startled.
07:23Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
07:26Oh, God.
07:28I'm so startled.
07:31That's the understatement of the year.
07:34Number 23.
07:35Butterflies have no concern for such things.
07:38Stan, Mr. Mackey, and sheepherder Mr. Yellman
07:42have been identified as hoarders.
07:44In order to treat their condition,
07:46the three are put into a session of regression therapy
07:48to figure out the root cause of the hoarding.
07:51There's a psychological reason you're all doing this,
07:53and we're going to get to the bottom of it.
07:55We're going to do some regression therapy.
07:57I'll be taking you deep into your memories, into your past.
08:00OK, that sounds like it could be bad. OK.
08:03Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
08:05Stan and Yellman get pulled into Mackey's subconscious,
08:08where a younger version of Mackey is tormented
08:11by a boy named Billy Thompson.
08:13Outraged that Stan is trapped in his guidance counselor's mind,
08:17Randy decides he's going to go in to rescue his son.
08:20Once inside the dream world, Randy has become a butterfly.
08:24He suddenly no longer wants to help Stan
08:27and is humorously carefree.
08:30Did you come here to help me?
08:31I was gonna, but, ooh, this is fun.
08:34Dad, you got to stop Mackey and bring us back to reality.
08:36Butterflies have no concern for such things, Stan.
08:39I'm going to go find me some butterfly poon.
08:42Dad!
08:43Number 22.
08:45Winter is coming, Sharon, and I'm a sneaky little bee.
08:48Black Friday is a hectic time of year
08:51as tons of people flock to stores
08:53to try to get deals on products ahead of Christmas.
08:56As you know, Black Friday is the day shoppers
08:59go berserk for holiday deals.
09:02Last year, 26 people died and 461 were seriously injured.
09:08In South Park, it's pretty brutal
09:10as people will do almost anything for a discount.
09:13In an effort to get ahead of the madness,
09:15Randy gets a job at the mall as a security guard.
09:19When he's called out by Sharon,
09:21he claims it's to make some extra cash,
09:23but she doesn't buy it.
09:25She knows he's doing it for himself.
09:27Undeterred, Randy is going to go through with his plan
09:31and hilariously refers to himself as a little bee.
09:34Winter is coming, Sharon, and I'm a sneaky little bee.
09:38Number 21.
09:39They serve refreshments.
09:41Yes.
09:42PC Principal and several like-minded PC-type bros
09:46decide to form a fraternity to promote their ideals.
09:49We should all hang out.
09:50We should totally hang out.
09:52We should all get a house together
09:53and unite our tolerant views.
09:54They set up a frat house
09:56and their loud constant partying is annoying Randy.
09:59He decides to go over there to complain,
10:01but accidentally gets swept up in their pledge drive
10:04and fully commits.
10:06The next day, he's extremely hungover
10:08and is grilled about it by Sharon.
10:10You got home pretty late last night.
10:126 a.m.?
10:13He hilariously tries to explain away the hard partying
10:16by saying he joined a social awareness group.
10:19When she brings up if they serve alcohol,
10:22he states that they serve refreshments
10:24as though he only drank a nice cold glass of lemonade.
10:27We discuss and have meetings
10:29to better define and reinforce tolerance
10:31and acceptance of all groups of people.
10:34Hmm.
10:35And do they have booze at these meetings?
10:38Uh, they serve refreshments, yes.
10:41Number 20.
10:42Hey, Sharon, by far one of Randy's most iconic
10:46and recurring quotes is, of course, calling for his wife.
10:50Hey, hey, Sharon.
10:52Sharon, you gotta come see this.
10:55Sharon?
10:56Whether he's made a terrible mistake or achieved
10:59what he considers to be a great accomplishment,
11:01one of his big go-to moves is to call for Stan's mother.
11:05Randy and his wife often have
11:07the most hilarious exchanges in the show.
11:09So whenever Randy yells for Sharon,
11:12we know we're in for a good time.
11:14We've heard him say it many, many times
11:16throughout the series and it never fails to draw a laugh.
11:20That's pretty cool.
11:21Hey, hey, Sharon.
11:22Number 19.
11:23Time to show you some Tegrity.
11:25Randy's marijuana business, Tegrity Farms,
11:28was the focus of an entire episode in season 22.
11:32When Randy becomes fed up with changes in South Park,
11:35he convinces Sharon to sell their home
11:37and live on a cannabis farm.
11:39Let's move out to the country.
11:40Go back to simple living
11:41where things mattered like hard work and Tegrity.
11:44But soon after starting his business,
11:46he finds out that vaping has grown in popularity.
11:50In response, Randy decides to take down
11:52a nearby vape manufacturer
11:54and show them the true meaning of integrity.
11:57You're trying to take my way of life?
11:59Time to show you some Tegrity.
12:02Tegrity?
12:03Randy's pronunciation of the word integrity
12:05all throughout the episode is hilarious
12:08and this scene made it all the more memorable.
12:10Fight for your Tegrity.
12:12Don't forget to bring it down.
12:15Number 18.
12:16God, why do the economically challenged
12:19always have to screw up everything?
12:21When the town receives bad publicity,
12:23Randy becomes obsessed with having a Whole Foods market
12:26come to South Park to spruce it up.
12:29Yes, my name is Randy Marsh
12:31and we would like to try and get a Whole Foods in our town.
12:37First, however, the town has to prove to the inspector
12:40that it's worthy.
12:41This includes building a luxurious shopping district
12:43right around Kenny's home
12:45to give it a rustic feel and attract hipsters.
12:48Hearing that the owner of City Walk is using child labor
12:51and could ruin his plan,
12:53Randy lets his exact feelings be known.
12:56God, why do the economically challenged
12:57always have to screw up everything?
12:59Well, at least he said economically challenged, right?
13:02Number 17.
13:04There are a lot of boobs out there, son.
13:06After the boys of South Park notice Bebe's boobs,
13:09they quickly regress into caveman versions of themselves,
13:13grunting and fighting for dominance.
13:15Right, but first we have to go to the...
13:16Ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:19You guys, calm down!
13:20Randy is quick to realize what's going on
13:23and has to step in and talk to his son about life
13:26and the various types of boobs, or atta,
13:29that are likely to come and go.
13:30There are a lot of boobs out there, son,
13:32but they're just boobs.
13:33Your friends are forever.
13:34Seeing him give his son an abridged version
13:37of the birds and the bees talk is hilarious,
13:39but what's even funnier is how Sharon seems to think
13:42it's somehow romantic.
13:45Number 16.
13:46Celebrate good Obama.
13:48Come on!
13:49Randy often has his funniest scenes while drunk.
13:52When the town learns that Obama won the election,
13:54they have a drunken party in the middle of the street,
13:57waving signs that read,
13:58change and chugging from cakes.
14:01In case you couldn't tell,
14:02the town got really into Obama,
14:05but especially Randy.
14:07He showcases this by drunkenly stumbling through the street
14:10and butchering his own politically remixed version
14:13of Celebration by Kool and the Gang
14:16while filling up his beer.
14:18Celebrate good Obama.
14:21Come on!
14:23It's Obama, Obama.
14:26Randy really does seem like a college kid
14:28trapped in an adult's body sometimes.
14:31Number 15.
14:32This was something I made.
14:34Randy often goes all in on whatever crazy thing he tries,
14:39and this held true when he decided to set the record
14:42for the biggest crap ever taken.
14:44When he narrowly loses the world record
14:46for biggest crap to Bono,
14:48who's later revealed to be literal crap himself,
14:52it affects Randy far more than it should.
14:54Mourning the loss of the record,
14:56he expresses his feelings about his creation.
14:59This was something I made,
15:02something that came from me,
15:04that was a part of me.
15:07The only thing I ever made that was any good.
15:09What makes this even funnier
15:11is the fact that he says it directly to Stan,
15:14implying that he was prouder of the poop
15:17than of his own son.
15:19Number 14.
15:20We didn't listen.
15:22When Stan accidentally crashes a boat
15:24into the world's biggest beaver dam,
15:26it causes a disastrous chain reaction.
15:29Very large beaver dam, Stan.
15:34The water floods the nearby town of Beaverton
15:36and scientists assume it was the result of global warming.
15:40As panic spreads and people bemoan the fact
15:44that they ignored all the warnings,
15:46Randy feels compelled to join in while stuck in traffic.
15:49We didn't listen.
15:51We didn't listen.
15:53The funniest part has to be the fact
15:55that he goes through the trouble
15:56of rolling down his window, yelling,
15:59and rolling it all the way back up.
16:02Number 13.
16:03I wish Jaden Smith was my son.
16:06I wish Jaden Smith was my son!
16:08When the kids of South Park learn
16:09about salacious true crime shows that feature reenactments,
16:13Stan becomes afraid Randy will kill Sharon
16:16if his parents watch it.
16:17He blocks the channel with a question
16:19that no adult can answer.
16:21How do you tame a horse in Minecraft?
16:24What the, what the hell?
16:25Randy begs Stan to lift the lock,
16:28explaining that he would never kill his mom
16:30because, of course, he would leave too much evidence
16:34and get caught.
16:35Stan's refusal leads Randy to angrily list
16:38all the great things about Jaden Smith
16:40and what a cooler son he'd be.
16:42Well then maybe you should go live with Jaden Smith, Dad.
16:45I wish I could!
16:46I wish I could live with Jaden Smith so I could be rich
16:49and I wouldn't have to live in a boring, sexless marriage
16:51where all your mom and I do is piss each other off!
16:53Number 12.
16:54Creme fraiche.
16:56One of Randy's most entertaining traits
16:58is just how obsessive he gets with his interests.
17:01And the 14th episode of season 14
17:03encapsulates this behavior.
17:05When Randy gets into cooking, he really gets into it.
17:09And we're gonna top that with a little creme fraiche.
17:13Oh yeah.
17:14Oh.
17:15Randy's newfound obsession makes him quit his job
17:18and work in the boys' cafeteria,
17:20where he creates his own show entitled Cafeteria Fraiche.
17:24His show is complete with its own intro and theme song,
17:27which is basically Randy saying la-la-la and fraiche
17:31in an accented voice
17:32while being somewhat turned on by his own cooking.
17:36Creme fraiche.
17:38Cafeteria fraiche.
17:41La-la-la-la-la fraiche.
17:44Number 11.
17:45Water and bread and margaritas.
17:47When the recession hits South Park,
17:49many townspeople take to the streets
17:51to preach about the correct path forward.
17:53But Randy is the most successful of the bunch.
17:56He's the first to embrace minimalism
17:58and spread his expertise by preaching
18:01about buying only the necessities to the townspeople.
18:04While pointing fingers to those who are to blame, Steve.
18:08It is time to stop pointing fingers.
18:10Finger pointing gets us nowhere, Steve.
18:13Randy, dressed in a robe reminiscent of ancient times,
18:17declares the townspeople need to cut back on lavish expenses
18:21and only buy what they need to survive.
18:24Food, water, and of course,
18:26alcoholic beverages of the tequila-based variety.
18:29Cut spending to only the bare essentials.
18:32Water and bread and margaritas.
18:35Yay.
18:36Number 10.
18:37Stan, I've never been able to say this before.
18:40In one of the greatest South Park episodes of all time,
18:43the boys become obsessed with taking down
18:46an overpowered character in World of Warcraft
18:49who is so strong he can kill game masters and admins.
18:53Randy, not to be left out, starts playing the game at work.
18:56In the outside world, I'm a simple geologist.
19:00But in here, I am Falkorn, Defender of the Alliance.
19:04He's eventually tasked with an important mission,
19:07to deliver the Sword of a Thousand Truths to his son.
19:11Stan, I've never been able to say this before,
19:15but I love you, son.
19:18Dying in-game in the process,
19:20Randy delivers a heartfelt speech
19:22to Stan over his mic,
19:23complete with painful gurgles and death cries,
19:26all in the middle of a Best Buy.
19:29You have to love his commitment.
19:37Number nine.
19:38Why don't we have the players just wear bras?
19:41One of the funniest things about South Park
19:43is how unaware and dense the townsfolk are.
19:47This is put on full display
19:49after the town bans kickoffs in football
19:51to prevent injuries.
19:53Oh, yeah, we don't want our kids getting hurt
19:55playing football,
19:56but I think I have a way to make it even better.
19:59Why don't we have the players just wear bras?
20:02Randy sarcastically suggests making the sport even safer
20:05by adding bras and tinfoil hats,
20:08which the townspeople take seriously
20:10and make an actual sport,
20:12complete with a theme song.
20:14Randy continues to suggest more ridiculous ideas,
20:18with no one seeming to notice his sarcastic tone.
20:21But this country's number one priority
20:24should be making football safer.
20:30In normal South Park fashion,
20:32this joke goes way further than it should.
20:35And Randy somehow ends up head coach
20:37of the Denver Broncos sarcasta-ball team.
20:40Yeah, looking good, guys.
20:41Let's kick some butt.
20:43Give him hell, coach.
20:44Love and not shoving.
20:46Oh, yeah, good one.
20:48Number eight.
20:49I am Lord.
20:50The first time Lord is introduced in the show
20:53is at Stan's birthday party,
20:55where Randy appears to dress up as her.
20:57The adults seem to genuinely believe it's the real Lord,
21:01while the kids have some doubts
21:03regarding her singing skills and attractiveness.
21:06Randy takes the stage,
21:07simply saying that he's Lord again and again.
21:10Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:12I am Lord.
21:13Yeah, yeah, yeah, Lord, Lord.
21:14It's one of Randy's best moments
21:16because it showcases how ridiculous a character he is
21:20and the extreme lengths he'll go to.
21:22The show ended up running with the joke
21:24and making Randy the actual Lord in their world,
21:27which only makes this quote even better.
21:30Lord, Lord, Lord.
21:32Lord, Lord, Lord, I am Lord.
21:35Number seven.
21:36Stanley, you call your friend an asshole this instant.
21:39Joining the Mountain Scouts,
21:41the boys are placed in troop number 69
21:44with Big Gay Al as their scoutmaster.
21:46Some of the parents are worried
21:47about Big Gay Al's intentions, however,
21:50leading to distrust.
21:51Unfortunately, the boys have picked up
21:53on some of his habits,
21:55including his penchant for nicknames.
21:57In the car with their parents,
21:58Stan calls Cartman a silly goose.
22:01Cue Randy's extreme reaction of stomping on the brakes
22:04and yelling at his son
22:05to call his friend a more appropriate name.
22:08Stanley, you call your friend an asshole this instant.
22:11Asshole?
22:12That's better.
22:13What makes this quote so funny
22:15is just how serious Randy is
22:17about preferring that Stan cuss his friend out.
22:20Number six.
22:21There was a ghost.
22:22Randy has never been a particularly good liar,
22:25but some of his attempts at covering up the truth
22:28are worse than others.
22:30When Randy becomes addicted to a particular solo activity,
22:33the town's internet connection goes out,
22:36forcing him and his family
22:37to move into an internet refugee camp.
22:40Randy, where will you go?
22:42We're gonna head west.
22:43There's a rumor going around
22:44that there might be some internet out there.
22:46After sneaking into the computer cabin to get his thrills,
22:49the counselors and his family catch him in the act.
22:53Never one to admit fault,
22:54Randy comes up with the best excuse he can.
22:57Oh, uh, there was a, there was a ghost.
23:01It's obviously a lie,
23:02but that doesn't stop him from trying.
23:05Number five.
23:06Have you ever tried marijuana?
23:08Well, maybe it's time.
23:10One of Randy's signature traits
23:12is recommending worse ideas to his son
23:14when Stan does something he doesn't approve of.
23:17A prime example comes when the boys start a boy band
23:20called Finger Bang,
23:22which, let's be honest, is a red flag already.
23:25Randy, having personal experience in this domain
23:28due to his own failed boy band, The Ghetto Avenue Boys,
23:32desperately tries to deter the kids from continuing.
23:35He does this by recommending other pastimes instead.
23:39Have you ever tried marijuana?
23:40No.
23:41Maybe it's time.
23:42Leave it to Randy to recommend his son
23:44get into illegal drugs instead of forming a boy band.
23:48Number four.
23:49It's called a smorgasbord.
23:51The king of hypocrisy,
23:52Randy disapproves of Stan and his grandpa's new addiction
23:56to free mobile games that include microtransactions.
23:59He lectures them on their addictive tendencies
24:02while holding firm that his own drinking isn't a problem
24:05because it's classy.
24:07Randy blames the addiction on Stan's grandpa,
24:10even as he circles around to shots of beer
24:12and glasses of wine on the table.
24:14It's called a tasting and it's classy.
24:16Stan calls him out on this,
24:18but Randy shuts him down,
24:20defending his own problem by calling it elegance.
24:23I'm sampling a flight of gluten-free German lagers
24:26with a French wine pairing.
24:27It's called a smorgaswein and it's elegantly cultural.
24:30The best part is him dropping the shot glass in the wine,
24:33Jägerbomb style,
24:35and chugging it down afterwards.
24:37Classic Randy.
24:38Number three.
24:39Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan.
24:42When South Park gets medical marijuana for the first time,
24:45Randy is desperate to get a medical license.
24:48Well, so doctor, how do most people get cancer?
24:52Well, there's a lot of ways you can get cancer.
24:54Yeah, but what's the quickest way?
24:56The what?
24:57But since he needs a condition
24:58to get approved for a medical license,
25:01he comes up with the ballsy plan of giving himself cancer.
25:04He tries various methods of self-harm to accomplish this,
25:08such as microwaving his balls
25:10and frying himself in the sun.
25:12When Stan expresses concern and tells him to come inside,
25:15Randy reassures him and tells him not to worry.
25:18Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan.
25:21Leave it to Randy to assume
25:22that the benefits of having cancer,
25:24namely smoking marijuana, outweigh the risks.
25:27Number two.
25:29What seems to be the officer problem?
25:31For second place,
25:32we return to more drunk Randy shenanigans.
25:35While the boys attend a karate class,
25:38Randy has the idea to go drinking instead of watching.
25:41Thoroughly drunk, he decides to drive the boys home
25:44and is pulled over by a cop in the process.
25:47As the cop approaches,
25:48Randy confidently reassures the children
25:51he's got the situation under control,
25:53but proceeds to blow any semblance of sobriety
25:56with the first words that come out of his mouth.
25:59License and registration, please.
26:01What seems to be the officer problem?
26:03It was probably the worst thing he could have said,
26:06and for that reason,
26:07it remains one of the funniest and most iconic Randy quotes.
26:11Why?
26:11What'd I do?
26:12What'd I do?
26:14Before we continue,
26:15be sure to subscribe to our channel
26:17and ring the bell to get notified about our latest videos.
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26:24make sure you go into your settings
26:26and switch on notifications.
26:30Number one.
26:31I thought this was America.
26:33Drunk Randy also ends up topping our list,
26:36this time while attending his son's Little League games.
26:39For what?
26:39Arresting me for what?
26:41I'm not allowed to stand up for myself?
26:43I thought this was America.
26:45Huh?
26:45Isn't this America?
26:46I'm sorry, I thought this was America.
26:48Randy takes it upon himself to be a trash-talking dad
26:51who starts drunken brawls in the stands
26:54and trains to be the best fighter he can be.
26:57After these fights,
26:58Randy is dragged away in handcuffs,
27:00bloody,
27:01and in only his underwear,
27:02slurring his words as he yells to the cops
27:05about his country's freedoms.
27:06What?
27:07Is this a communist country or something?
27:09I thought this was America.
27:10The best part?
27:11He does this all over Colorado in different cities,
27:15always in his underwear,
27:17always bloody,
27:18and always exclaiming that he thought this was America.
27:21What?
27:22I thought this was a free country.
27:24What's your favorite quote by Randy Marsh?
27:26Let us know in the comments.
27:28Well, what was I supposed to do, Sharon?
27:29I thought I was going to make $30,000.
27:32Did you enjoy this video?
27:34Check out these other clips from WatchMojo,
27:36and be sure to subscribe and ring the bell to be notified about our latest videos.