The Bubble. Episode 4.

  • 4 months ago
First broadcast 12th March 2010.

David Mitchell

Sue Perkins
Marcus Brigstocke
Julia Hartley-Brewer

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Take three celebrities.
00:05Send them off to a remote house in the country.
00:11Then seal them in.
00:13With no computers, TVs, newspapers or mobile phones,
00:17they'll be completely cut off from the outside world.
00:20So how will they know what's been going on while they've been in...
00:24..the bubble?
00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:31Good evening. I'm David Mitchell and welcome to The Bubble,
00:34the show where we ask three celebrities to spend the week
00:37completely cut off from the outside world.
00:39No newspapers, no TV, no internet, nothing.
00:42So they haven't heard the news this week
00:44that Bill Gates is no longer the world's richest man,
00:47after he foolishly emailed his bank details to a Nigerian businessman.
00:51Anyway, let's see how they've been coping with the isolation.
00:55WHISTLING
00:57WHISTLING
00:59So don't worry.
01:03Be happy.
01:05As you can see, they're in some distress, so we'd better let them out.
01:10But before we set them free,
01:12we're going to show them a selection of news reports.
01:14Some of them are genuine, some of them have been faked.
01:16But will they be able to tell the difference?
01:18So let's meet tonight's guests straight from the bubble.
01:21Please welcome Julia Hartley Brewer, Marcus Brigstock and Sue Perkins.
01:25APPLAUSE
01:38Welcome. Welcome to you all.
01:40Just to confirm, you've seen nothing in the news all week?
01:43No. And news for us has been, what kind of cake is it today?
01:46Oh, right.
01:47I have been fed like a suckling pig for slaughter this week.
01:50It's been wonderful.
01:51So you've heard about round four? Yeah.
01:54The karaoke after that lovely version of Don't Worry, Be Happy
01:59sort of gained momentum
02:01and we did accidentally crack another one of Sue's ribs.
02:05Sue, your experience in the bubble was delayed by a week, wasn't it?
02:09Yes, it was.
02:10Because Andy Hamilton pushed you down some stairs.
02:12He did, yeah.
02:13I fell over my own foot, David.
02:15It's good that you're such a committed comedian
02:18that you still do slapstick in private.
02:20LAUGHTER
02:23And have you thought about what news you've been hoping
02:26might have happened while you've been away?
02:28Has Abu Hamza been officially announced for Dancing On Ice yet?
02:32Well, I can't tell you. That could come up.
02:35If I look pleadingly at you and I can notice the dilation in your eyes
02:38in a sort of Derren Brown way, I can see that's not happened.
02:41Yeah. When you say in a Derren Brown way,
02:43of course, that's how he says he does his tricks,
02:45but in fact, he's a conjurer.
02:48I thought you were going to call him something else entirely.
02:52We were just told not to use the C word.
02:55That's bizarre.
02:56The C word in this case, conjurer.
02:58He's a massive conjurer.
03:02To be honest, it means the same thing, in a way.
03:06So, let's begin.
03:08I'm about to show you a selection of TV reports
03:10and newspaper articles from recent days.
03:12All you have to do is decide which are the real stories
03:14and which are the fakes.
03:15So let's start with some TV news stories.
03:17You're going to see three news reports,
03:18but only one of them was genuinely reported on the TV news
03:21while you were inside the bubble.
03:23The other two are fakes.
03:24Can you spot the real story?
03:26Let's have a look at story A.
03:30At just 4ft 5in tall,
03:32Jamie Legge's more used to being bowled over
03:35than doing the bowling himself.
03:37Jamie's one of six dwarves acting as the pint-sized pins
03:40in the UK's first-ever dwarf bowling competition
03:43on Wednesday and Saturday night.
03:46Competitors will use special oversized plastic balls
03:49and there are six pins, or dwarves, to knock over.
03:52But the country's smallest people
03:54have sparked a giant human rights debate.
03:57Human rights campaigners want the game banned outright.
04:00It's nothing more than a sick stunt.
04:02A dwarf throwing was rightly outlawed by Parliament in the 1990s
04:05and it's a sad indictment of our society
04:07that this sort of thing still goes on.
04:09So we're calling on Rochdale Council
04:11to stop this event from happening.
04:13But the dwarves say it's just one way
04:15for them to get work in a tall person's world.
04:18Just coming off Panto, work is very slack,
04:21so you can take a walk as far as I'm concerned.
04:24I want the money, I need the money.
04:27So far, there's no reaction from the council,
04:30so Saturday's competition looks like it will go ahead.
04:33And if it does, Jamie says he's ready for whatever comes his way.
04:39The dwarves aren't too worried about being hit by the ball,
04:42it's just those metal pincers that come and pick them up.
04:45Why are they practising the throwing element
04:47when ultimately they're going to have things hurled at them?
04:50Anyone can do falling down, Sue, can't they?
04:56I think, yes, that wasn't obviously the dwarf bowling event,
04:59that was just him recreationally enjoying normal non-dwarf bowling.
05:04I don't think it's the first time that event's taken place.
05:07That's such a good idea that that would have happened before.
05:11Throwing objects at little people.
05:13Oh, yeah. We do it in my house.
05:15What's the point of having kids otherwise?
05:18I'm very convinced by this.
05:20I think that must definitely be real.
05:23I've got tickets.
05:26Well, just in case it's not, do you want to have a look at...
05:30No, I don't need to go any further.
05:33Sorry, you'll have to pointlessly look at Report B.
05:37Sea levels.
05:39Many experts predict they could rise dramatically over this century,
05:43spelling the end for island provinces like the Maldives and Micronesia.
05:47But new research from the Scripps Institute of Oceanography
05:51has shown that recent seismic activity
05:53could be countering any man-made change to ocean levels
05:56by creating a deep trench in the Pacific Ocean floor.
05:59Scientists have examined the fault line
06:02between the Pacific plate and the Antarctic plate
06:05using ROGER, their unmanned geological surveying submarine.
06:09The Pacific plate is descending, going down into what we call a subduction zone,
06:14and it goes down and forms a trough on the seabed,
06:17creating a space into which new sediments and water can come.
06:21By 2100, it's predicted the newly created Pacific Trench
06:25should be able to accommodate up to 3 million cubic kilometres of water.
06:29If this happens, it'll be enough to offset
06:32all but the most extreme projections for global rising sea levels,
06:36easing the fears of those worried by climate change.
06:41Marcus, what do you make of that?
06:43Yes. Well, as someone who's been something of a busybody
06:46where climate change is concerned,
06:48using it is little more than an excuse to wag my finger
06:51at people who I didn't like anyway.
06:53I'm just... I'm not convinced by the science of it
06:58on account of that would mean
07:00that some new land had appeared somewhere else
07:03in order to make a substantial size of trench.
07:06It would mean that a new hill would have to form above sea,
07:09and as far as I'm aware, there aren't any new hills that have been reported,
07:13but perhaps they have been in the last few days.
07:16So I think it's a massive load of old bollocks.
07:18So they basically...
07:20That's a scientifically biased theory.
07:22I mean, hills can... I mean, isn't Iceland sort of appearing?
07:26No, Iceland is arguing, or Greenland...
07:29This is so dull, I'm going to shut up.
07:33If only this had happened in the last week!
07:36Wow.
07:37So you've had a lot of discussions in the house about climate change.
07:40We did a lot of topics.
07:41They argued and argued and argued,
07:43and at night I drugged them, got into their beds
07:46and told them the truth in their ears.
07:48I like to think of it... I thought of it as sexual tension.
07:51No, we did a lot of topics. We did...
07:54We did... We did...
07:57We did a lot of topics.
07:59We did politics, world religion...
08:02We did a lot of topics.
08:04We did world religions, astrology, the environment, politics, Europe,
08:08and that was before we'd left Zone 1.
08:10Well, hopefully we can return to all, if not none, of those topics later.
08:15So let's have a look at Report C.
08:19There's has been a love affair which has enthralled France and the wider world.
08:24Carla Bruni and her French president controversially met and married
08:29within three months.
08:31A famed supermodel, a successful singer-songwriter,
08:34and always in the public eye.
08:36But now their fairy tale marriage is under scrutiny,
08:39with rumours that both are having an affair.
08:42Their pasts are no doubt colourful.
08:45Carla is Sarkozy's third wife,
08:47and she famously dated Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton.
08:51Whatever the truth of the rumours,
08:53leading French commentator Jacques Relland says
08:56the French public might not find the situation as scandalous
08:59as their neighbours across the Channel.
09:02In the case of Sarkozy, if it was known that he had affairs on the side,
09:06people would say, well, that's normal, that's par for the course,
09:09it's typical of him, is it a go-getter?
09:13And he obviously has a fairly strong sex drive, so that's fine.
09:18If I was like him and in his shoes, I would do the same.
09:21It seems President Sarkozy is certainly gaining a reputation
09:25for mixing his politics with so much showbiz and so much pleasure.
09:32Nicolas Sarkozy is said to be sleeping with his ecology minister.
09:35Just imagine Gordon Brown shagging Ed Miliband.
09:39So...
09:41He's not implausible?
09:43He seemed overly French, that commentator.
09:46You know.
09:48So you think we just hired some extra from alohaloh?
09:52I've said it from the beginning,
09:54there's only one story here which rings true,
09:57and that is the little people getting smashed.
10:00And you don't mean Sarkozy at a party.
10:03If sea levels do rise significantly,
10:06it is the little people who will suffer the most.
10:10Well, I think the time has come to vote.
10:13Is it A, dwarf bowling night planned in Rochdale,
10:17B, a giant trench is forming in the Pacific,
10:20or C, Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni
10:23are both rumoured to be having affairs?
10:25Which is a real story. Please vote A, B or C now.
10:31Sue and Julia, you've gone for B, the giant trench,
10:34and Marcus, you've gone for Sarkozy's affair.
10:37And I have to say, Marcus, you're right. Well done.
10:44So is there a big furore about Sarkozy and Bruni having a...
10:48Well, it's been in a lot of the papers.
10:50The rumours have abounded about these affairs,
10:53but according to The Independent,
10:55they may have become as a hoax by a trainee journalist
10:58who wanted to see how easy it was to get an unverified assertion
11:01from Twitter into the mainstream media.
11:03Meanwhile, in other parts of the media,
11:05they're saying Sarkozy chartered a plane
11:08to bring Bruni back from Thailand,
11:10where she was with her alleged lover.
11:12Can I say, I would be very touched if my husband
11:14was willing to charter a plane to remove me
11:16from the arms of a French scarf-wearing man.
11:18There was one that arrived at the house, to be honest,
11:20but I sent it packing, you know,
11:22what with all that chemistry between you and me.
11:26Too hot to handle. What a gooseberry I felt.
11:30I sort of hope that it's true,
11:32because I think Carla Bruni was a bit of a nightmare
11:35for poor old Sarkozy. Do you think?
11:37Remember last year, she makes him jog and diet,
11:41and he fainted when he was jogging cos he's so tired.
11:45The President of France is hardly full-time, is he?
11:49I mean, the French are not really willing to do anything
11:52if they don't want to, so as President you go,
11:55could we maybe do something? And they go, non.
11:59And he goes, OK, I will go for a run
12:01and fuck this beautiful woman.
12:06Both.
12:07Two of you thought that the giant trench
12:09forming beneath the Pacific was real.
12:11Yeah.
12:12In fairness, Julia ought to get a point,
12:14because she does work for the Express,
12:16and they have to contractually deny that climate change
12:20may be a problem.
12:22Deny that climate change may be a problem at any opportunity.
12:26So she really had no choice.
12:28She's not well even interfacing with the question, to be honest.
12:31Please don't make this go on any longer than necessary.
12:35Look, I've not been in the house. I need to catch up.
12:38What kind of cake is it now?
12:40The planet is not getting warmer, David.
12:43It's a rather bitter cake of facing the truth.
12:46It was a very...
12:49The bitter Battenberg of environmental responsibility for you.
12:53So you reckon there's no climate change?
12:55I'm not going there. You're not going there?
12:57No. You're not going to say whether or not you believe in climate change?
13:00Because we'll get to fisticuffs again, it will go horribly wrong,
13:03and then we'll have to do karaoke again.
13:05I only hit you once. I only hit you once.
13:08Well, at the end of that round, only Marcus gets a point.
13:12Shame.
13:15APPLAUSE
13:17OK, next we move on to the newspapers.
13:20Three stories, and again, only one of them genuinely did feature
13:23in the newspapers while you were inside the bubble.
13:25The other two are fakes. Can you tell the difference?
13:28Here is story A.
13:30Here we have the shock news that Gordon Brown asked to appear
13:33on Match Of The Day 2, but had his offer rejected by the programme.
13:37Presumably they were worried he'd bring down the mood
13:40after the Hulvey Bolton Highlights package.
13:44That's Adrian Charles in the middle, is it? Yeah.
13:47Who's the fella in the green shirt?
13:49I think he played for Arsenal or something.
13:52Oh, right. I think he did. Is that right?
13:55I don't get extra points for that.
13:57This is now getting to that round in Question Of Sport,
14:00where you have to recognise a sportsman who makes a piece of toast.
14:03I think that's a well-known jockey, somebody who knows.
14:07You have never watched a Question Of Sport ever?
14:09Of course I've watched a Question Of Sport ever.
14:12This is the 1980s, where what you did as a child
14:15was watch whatever was on television,
14:17even if it was a Question Of Sport.
14:20Sitting there thinking, what am I doing?
14:23Who's Willie Carson?
14:26I don't understand.
14:28And why aren't people bowling him?
14:32Shall we have a look at story B?
14:34This is the news that up to 150 highly dangerous criminals
14:38may have been released from jail as a result of the Ministry of Justice
14:41mixing up a list of prisoners to be released early
14:44with a list of highly dangerous criminals.
14:47On the plus side, they are highly dangerous criminals
14:49with a history of being caught.
14:51Which do you think came first, being criminal
14:54or having a face of a criminal?
14:57With those faces, what are they going to do?
15:01I don't think that headline has ever been written.
15:04It's a slightly ponderous headline for a story that serious.
15:08If it were in the mail, they'd have just gone with,
15:11I knew this would happen if you didn't kill them.
15:18Well, let's have a look at story C, then,
15:21which is the news that Sir David Frost fell asleep while on air.
15:27So, is that how many Zs are in Al Jazeera?
15:30I suppose they're just adding it for zidding comedy effect.
15:32Is that what they've done there? Is that the hilarity of the...?
15:34Yes, I think the way they've spelled Al Jazeera there, Sue,
15:37as a professional comedian, is hilarious.
15:42I think it's time to vote.
15:44Is it A, Match Of The Day 2 turned down an appearance request
15:47from Gordon Brown,
15:49B, Ministry Of Justice mistakenly released dangerous criminals,
15:52and C, Sir David Frost falls asleep on his own TV show.
15:56Vote A, B or C now, please.
16:00Oh, right, two of you, Sue and Julia,
16:02have both gone for David Frost falling asleep.
16:04Oh, no, not again!
16:06So, B, Match Of The Day 2 turning down Gordon Brown.
16:09Well, once again, Marcus, you're right.
16:11Oh, no! That was my second choice!
16:15It emerged this week that last November,
16:19Gordon Brown approached Match Of The Day 2 and asked to go on,
16:22and that early on was refused by the BBC
16:25because they thought it might infringe their impartiality
16:29in the run-up to the election.
16:31However, I should mention at this point,
16:34that the other two party leaders are also twats.
16:39In fact, Cameron has also been on TV this week.
16:42Do you know who he's been on with?
16:44The Lord Sith?
16:46No.
16:48His mentor in life and also death?
16:50The worlds of Hades and beyond?
16:52There are always two.
16:54They come as a pair.
16:56No, you're close, though. Alan Titchmarsh.
17:00The Gardening Sith.
17:04The third unknown gardening Sith.
17:07Now, none of you went for the Ministry of Justice's cock-up, did you?
17:11I just thought maybe there would be one week where it didn't happen.
17:15I think it's more likely to be the week it didn't.
17:17They look like a pretty unlikely gang to me.
17:20It said, this gang of dangerous criminals.
17:22They look... Putting those four people together.
17:25They are actually all four people who work for the production company
17:28that make this programme.
17:30You may have been slagging off or complimenting a future channel controller.
17:35Can I just say, bottom left,
17:37I don't care whether you become the head of the BBC,
17:40you look like a right wrong-un.
17:44So, Julia, you believed that David Frost had fallen asleep on his own show?
17:48Oh, completely.
17:50Poor old David Frost. He does look tired, doesn't he?
17:53Absolutely worn out.
17:55Maybe just for a second, his ears had opened up to hear the dribble
17:58and that's long enough for him to render himself unconscious.
18:02Whoa, whoa, what?
18:06On his show, when he asks people to email in their thoughts,
18:09they're all just, you all right, mate?
18:14Al Jazeera, you're famous for getting all of the first tapes from Al Qaeda.
18:20And David Frost is famous for securing interviews
18:23with people who won't otherwise give interviews with anyone.
18:26So I hope he stays awake and alive long enough
18:30to get that caveside interview with Bin Laden
18:33and then goes really soft on him.
18:35Inevitably, he gets an interview with Bin Laden
18:38and just asks him about his new book.
18:41Tell me about the normal Bin Laden day.
18:45You wake up in the morning, what do you have for breakfast?
18:50Well, anyway, at the end of that round, once again, Marcus gets a point.
18:57So, you three have been living together all week. What did you do?
19:01We went for a very bracing walk across the Lincolnshire fields.
19:05Which was nice.
19:07Occasionally, a bird would just come out of the hedgerow,
19:10Marcus would go, woodcock or pheasant!
19:13We watched quite a few episodes of The Wire,
19:16so for a lot of the time while we were in there,
19:18we did all talk as if we were Baltimore drug dealers.
19:21We have a bit of that when you were playing co-chair.
19:24Let's have a look at that.
19:27OK, one, two, three.
19:31It's magic!
19:33Do you feel me?
19:35Oh, my gosh, and then Ace came down on a flop.
19:38You feel me, though?
19:43There is a possibility that someone in the house
19:45has been watching an episode of The Wire today.
19:50Look at the stack there.
19:52Words you don't hear every day.
19:54Look at the stack of Birkins.
19:58I'm very impressed, actually.
20:00Every week, people are like, last week they played Bridge,
20:03the week before Scrabble.
20:05Genuinely, you're sort of making your own entertainment,
20:08like in the old days.
20:10The thing I didn't understand was the house slept, I think, 18,
20:12and yet they put us all in the same bedroom.
20:14Yeah, I thought it was a bit strange.
20:16Cost me a fortune, but it was worth it.
20:22Anyway, I'm glad you had a nice time.
20:24Thank you.
20:25Fantastic food. Everyone loves it.
20:27Apart from Germaine Greer, who was Margie.
20:29Germaine Greer said that the food was too salty.
20:32Everyone else has liked the food.
20:34You know, I don't know what that says about feminism.
20:41Anyway...
20:42It gives you a very salty palate.
20:44LAUGHTER
20:48Moving on, and it's time for a round-up of more news
20:51you've missed while you were in the bubble.
20:53Have a look at these three quick reports.
20:58Story A. A cash-strapped German village
21:01has put its many potholes up for sale
21:03in order to finance the repair of its crumbling roads.
21:07A pothole costs about 50 euros,
21:10and everybody who wants to buy some could buy some.
21:15Story B. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin
21:19has put a man in hospital after a judo move went wrong.
21:23This was an unfortunate accident.
21:25Prime Minister Putin tried a manoeuvre
21:27and his opponent landed badly,
21:29sustaining considerable spinal damage.
21:34And Story C.
21:35Former Deputy Police Commissioner Brian Paddock
21:38is going to join the cast of The Bill.
21:40The Bill go to tremendous trouble
21:42to make sure everything is authentic.
21:44They get things from the police.
21:46They find out where the suppliers are
21:48so that everything looks exactly like it does at work.
21:53So, three stories there.
21:54Only one of them genuinely featured on TV News Reports
21:57while you were in the bubble.
21:58Other two were fakes.
21:59So, Marcus, what do you think about the Paddock story?
22:02I don't know. I mean, I don't think...
22:04I'm not sure he'd actually go on The Bill, would he?
22:06Wouldn't the election then hit in on that
22:08if he's a well-known Lib Dem?
22:10Would that not... Would the same rules apply
22:12as for Match of the Day and Gordon Brown?
22:14They'd need to find a Tory and a Labour copper.
22:16So, sort of Ann Widdecombe in casualty.
22:18Now, that's a thought.
22:20And, Sue, the judo Putin story, how did that...?
22:24So, he crushed this guy's spine?
22:26He was head of the KGB.
22:28I mean, this won't be the first time he's done this.
22:30No. The thing is, I don't believe it,
22:32cos we know Putin's a nice man
22:33because there was an interview with his wife once
22:35and she said he was a good husband
22:37because he doesn't beat me.
22:39Sometimes he make judo with me,
22:41but always he ask his permission.
22:46Only once, only once, he accidentally break my spine.
22:50Just accident.
22:52My fault for missing matting.
22:54Yeah.
22:56And the potholes story?
22:58I'm quite keen on the idea of sponsoring,
23:00because we've got a lot of potholes in the UK now
23:02after the very hard winter.
23:04I'd quite like to sponsor a pothole, I think.
23:06Would you?
23:07Yeah, it's the idea of my face lying in the road
23:10so that I could tut at people in big cars.
23:15Sort of thing we environmentalists enjoy.
23:20I'll recap the stories.
23:21They are A, that Germans can now sponsor their own pothole.
23:25Oh, yeah.
23:26B, Vladimir Putin puts a man in hospital.
23:28Or C, Brian Paddock joins the cast of The Bill.
23:31And how many are true and how many are false?
23:34I don't know why, I can never remember this.
23:36In this round, Julia, one of them is true again.
23:42There's a pattern developing, isn't there?
23:44OK, you ready to vote?
23:45Yeah.
23:46OK, please vote A, B or C now.
23:50What's wrong with you people?
23:51Now, come on, no copying.
23:54Oh, and you've all gone for the Germans sponsor their own pothole.
23:58You're all right.
24:00Yes, a point!
24:0450 euros for your name to be written in concrete as it sets
24:08next to some local lad's drawing of a cock.
24:13So, Julia, how would The Express have covered that story?
24:17Did pothole kill Diana?
24:25The Putin judo thing, I thought that was...
24:27Yeah, I was very drawn to that.
24:29Oh, my God, in the way the French like their leaders to be,
24:32sort of, to have affairs, the Russians like their leaders
24:35to be brutes, don't they?
24:37Killers.
24:38Or pissed.
24:39Yeah.
24:40They'll settle for pissed if not brutish.
24:42But, you know, often the two come together.
24:44Yeah.
24:45Ah, you've been to a Wetherspoons.
24:49And you didn't go for Paddock.
24:51No.
24:52He wouldn't do anything, Paddock, wouldn't he?
24:54Poor Brian Paddock.
24:55The thing about The Bill, the thing that made it seem plausible
24:57that only Brian Paddock is someone you imagine would do
24:59something like that.
25:00The Bill is also the most unexceptional television programme
25:03ever made in terms of it being neither loved nor hated by anyone.
25:07It's just a normal programme.
25:10Is that still going?
25:11Yes.
25:12I have no opinion.
25:15Well, on that note, I'm happy to say that all of you get a point.
25:20Yay!
25:21APPLAUSE
25:24Now, our final round is on the buzzer.
25:27I'll read you some news stories from the last week
25:29that may or may not be real.
25:31If you're first to buzz, please answer real or fake.
25:34If you're right, you win a point.
25:36If you're wrong, you lose a point.
25:38And I can tell you it's very close at this stage,
25:40but, Marcus, you're in the lead.
25:43Close.
25:44So, let's begin with...
25:46Graffiti artist Banksy has been revealed to be
25:49Neil Buchanan from Art Attack.
25:53Marcus.
25:57Fake.
25:58That is fake.
26:01A Japanese man has married a pillow.
26:04Real.
26:05Real.
26:07A chef from New York is selling cheese made from his wife's breast milk.
26:11Marcus.
26:12Real.
26:13Real.
26:15Delicious.
26:17Lazy cheese, at last.
26:20In a town in Romania, traffic signs have been put up
26:23warning motorists of drunks in the road.
26:27Fake.
26:28It's real.
26:30Anna Nicole Smith The Opera
26:32is to open at the Royal Opera House next year.
26:35Julia.
26:36Fake.
26:37Real.
26:39A man from Lancaster has found the face of Jesus in his frying pan.
26:43Marcus.
26:44Real. Always real.
26:45Yes, real.
26:48And, finally, over the last month,
26:50John Prescott has received more than 100 anonymous letters
26:54which say only,
26:55Hit me with your rhythm stick.
26:59He got them, then.
27:02Fake.
27:03That's fake, yes.
27:04So, the winner is...
27:05Marcus.
27:10Let's have a look at some of the things you got wrong in the quickfire round.
27:14Julia, you didn't believe that, in Romania,
27:16they had traffic signs warning motorists against drunks in the road.
27:20We actually have the sign, so...
27:26Marcus, you rightly believe the story about the man from Lancaster
27:29who's found the face of Jesus in his frying pan.
27:31We've got a picture here.
27:32Yeah, I mean, you can always rely...
27:34Whoever claims they've found the face of Christ
27:37in a food or, you know, on a shoe or whatever,
27:41they almost always have, on account of they've put it there.
27:45Yeah.
27:46But I have to say, I don't think that's true.
27:48I think, usually, when they say they've found the face of Christ,
27:50you see someone and you go,
27:51and you can sort of go, well, I can see what you mean,
27:53but that's clearly just random symbols,
27:55whereas that's the face of Christ.
27:58I'm not, I'm not Christian, but I think if...
28:01But now, though, you are!
28:04And I believe.
28:05Everyone, since you've been in the bubble, everyone saw that,
28:07everyone's Christian now.
28:09But if Christ wanted to send a message or, you know,
28:13just an image of his face,
28:15do we think, really, that he would choose the base
28:18of quite a dirty-looking frying pan in Lancaster?
28:21Well, no, I wouldn't have expected that, but he has.
28:24Yeah.
28:25No, sure, yeah.
28:26Anyway, on that note, thank you to my guests,
28:28Sue Perkins, Marcus Brigstock and Julia Hartley Brewer.
28:30Join me next week.
28:31A day earlier, due to sport relief,
28:33when coming out of the bubble will be Katie Brand,
28:35Josie Long and Nicholas Sarkozy.
28:37Although I may have made one of those up.
28:39Goodnight.
29:07APPLAUSE