Matthew and Jason return with a brand new series of their dream team creation show, and this time they're building a team of England's greatest Euros players, from Rooney to Gascoigne to the concept of Jude Bellingham.
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00:00Maybe he didn't do voting loads. Obviously, you know, that first game he didn't even start, did he?
00:04He was keeping a trip here at left-back against Croatia.
00:08So I appreciate that there are arguments against him.
00:10But for the sake of just the pure elation that I felt in that moment
00:15and then for however many minutes it was afterwards until he equalised,
00:18I will always have a special place in my heart for Lucio.
00:22And for that reason and that reason alone, I would like to put him forward for this five-a-side.
00:27I absolutely get what you mean, both in terms of the elation of that moment,
00:31although it was a bit less for me because I had a major surgery the next day.
00:36So I was stone-cold sober, unable to eat, unable to drink,
00:39having to endure that moment, that match with no alcoholic assistance, quite frankly.
00:44It's not quite such a wonderful moment for me at any point.
00:47Hello and welcome to a brand new series of three added minutes, it's Fantasy Five-a-Side,
00:58the show in which we build the best possible five-man team
01:01according to some extremely specific requirements.
01:04With Euro 2024 looming, this series is going to have a distinctly continental flavour to it.
01:09So to kick things off,
01:10we're going to build our dream team of England's greatest Euros heroes of all time.
01:15To help me out, I'm joined, as always, by my three added minutes colleague, Jason Jones.
01:20Yeah, so here's how it works.
01:22Matt and I will take it in turns to propose an England legend from Euros history for each
01:26position on the pitch, argue briefly over who should make the final side,
01:29and eventually come up with our perfect team.
01:32As always, I have to start with the goalkeeper,
01:34and so I'm going to start things off, Matt, by proposing Jordan Pickford.
01:38Now, returning viewers of the show will know that when it comes to England's goalkeeping situation,
01:44I have a little bit of a bias.
01:47You know, as a sort of poorly equipped goalkeeper myself,
01:52I sort of live vicariously through Jordan Pickford.
01:56He is a player who I have a very big vested interest in.
01:59But I do think, in this instance,
02:01there are actually some pretty solid arguments to be made for him.
02:06Obviously, the most success that England have ever had at a European Championship came
02:11last time around Euro 2020, obviously pushed back because of COVID.
02:15And between the sticks throughout that tournament was Jordan Pickford.
02:19And I also think it's fair to say that throughout that tournament,
02:21he didn't really put a foot or a glove rather wrong.
02:26You know, I felt that for the most part, he was as dependable and solid a goalkeeping option
02:32as you could possibly want in a major international tournament,
02:35which, by the way, is kind of indicative of his performances for England writ large.
02:40I don't think he's ever really let England down in a tournament as yet.
02:46You know, obviously, he went all the way to Wembley last time around,
02:48came agonizingly close to winning the whole thing.
02:53And within that as well, you know, let's not forget that in that penalty shootout,
02:57save Jorginho's penalty could quite easily have been the hero of the day.
03:02Obviously, things didn't quite pan out that way.
03:04And we all know about the aftermath and how sort of how ugly that got.
03:09But there is a version of events where Jordan Pickford is
03:13the first international goalkeeper to win something for England since 1966
03:17and also plays a huge, huge part in that.
03:21You know, I think that...
03:22Sorry, go on, yeah.
03:23No, you can definitely, there's a world in which you can picture him
03:26lifting off that great big trophy with his tiny little arms.
03:30But like, I do take the point that if you,
03:32well, you know, if Jordan Pickford's England career ended tomorrow,
03:35and I know we're saying this ahead of another major tournament,
03:37where he's going to be number one.
03:38So God knows what'll happen.
03:39But if you were to, you know, his career was over tomorrow,
03:42the highlight reel for his time in England in major tournaments
03:44would be really quite short because he hasn't made any terrible errors.
03:47There's no, you know, Paul Robinson bobble moments or anything like that.
03:51Equally granted, there isn't really a, you know,
03:54Gordon Banks tipping Pele's header over the bar kind of moment.
03:56I guess maybe the penalty save against Colombia is the first thing that comes to mind.
03:59But yeah, he's just good, like throughout Euro 2020.
04:03I don't remember him being spectacular.
04:05Truth be told, apart from maybe the Georginio save,
04:07I'm not sure I can remember anything he does or anything he did rather.
04:11And as you brought him to the table here,
04:12I'm happy to be enlightened if I've forgotten something.
04:15But yeah, it's just, you can't really argue against Jordan Pickford at this point.
04:18He's just solid.
04:20I think nine times out of 10, where Pickford is concerned,
04:23and by the way, I completely refute the little arm slander as well.
04:26I think that's social media nonsense.
04:29But anyway, I just wanted to start this series by winding you up from the get go.
04:34But where Pickford's concerned, nine times out of 10, quiet is better.
04:38You know, I think he's a wonderful goalkeeper, but he does have a mistake in him.
04:42Let's be honest.
04:43You know, there have been some relatively high profile blunders.
04:47He just doesn't seem to commit them.
04:49And I say this going into a major tournament and not wanting to tempt fate,
04:52but he doesn't seem to commit them in an England shirt.
04:56And I think that, you know, given some of the goalkeepers,
04:59even ones that you've mentioned there, the likes of Paul Robinson, David James, Rob Green,
05:03the sort of goalkeepers that I grew up with in an England shirt,
05:07a little bit of dependability really goes a long way as far as I'm concerned.
05:11So my pick would be Jordan Pickford for this team.
05:14But I'd be interested to see who you put up against.
05:18As we know, we have basically two sort of key sort of elements of our personalities here.
05:22One is you're obsessed with Jordan Pickford, and the other one is I am old.
05:25And that means I immediately go straight to Euro 96.
05:28And that immediately, to me, means David Seaman.
05:30Now, he was there at Euro 2000 as well and played pretty well.
05:34He got injured after the first couple of games.
05:36But, you know, he wasn't responsible for the Romania thing, basically.
05:39He couldn't sort of, you know, he was not,
05:40maybe he wouldn't have made a difference against Romania's best player, Phil Neville.
05:43But at the same time, he was brilliant in Euro 96.
05:47And he wasn't culpable for Euro 2000.
05:50And yeah, you know, there's the penalty save against Gary McAllister.
05:53It was a really good save, which doesn't seem to get replayed as often against,
05:56I think it's Gordon Durie against Scotland.
05:58And yeah, just played really, really well, made a lot of good saves.
06:02Probably, arguably, at least the best goalkeeper of the tournament.
06:05I don't know if he was actually in the official team or not.
06:08But yeah, just, you know, he seems to be these days remembered largely as
06:12a haircut, the lob against Ron Aldenio in 2002 World Cup.
06:17By the way, that ponytail is a massively overrated part of his story.
06:20I mean, that was like two years.
06:22The years, it was the floppy barnet of the Nigel Mantle moustache.
06:25And I think that's how we should remember him.
06:27And yeah, he was just a fantastic goalkeeper.
06:29And I think Euro 96 was pretty much his peak.
06:34Yeah, I mean, I completely agree with you.
06:36I think he's almost become a little bit meme-ified, hasn't he, in recent years.
06:41And I do think that's unfair.
06:42Like, he was England number one for a long time for a very, very good reason.
06:48I just think that maybe it's a little bit of recency bias.
06:51I don't know.
06:52But for me, Pickford just about edges it.
06:55But I'm happy to defer it on this one.
06:57No, do you know what?
06:58This doesn't feel like a hill I'm prepared to die on just yet.
07:01Pickford did get to the finals.
07:02I've got hills I'm going to die on later.
07:04So I'll save it without Pickford in the team.
07:13OK, so in defence.
07:16Again, I'm going to show a little bit of perhaps recency bias here.
07:21The thing I should point out before we go into this, Matt,
07:23is that the first European Championship I actually remember is 2004.
07:29And then we were sort of pretty terrible as a blanket.
07:33You know, didn't qualify next time around.
07:37You know, 2012 and 2016 are probably best forgotten.
07:39So in terms of me being completely earnest about my selections,
07:43I only really have two tournaments to choose from.
07:462004 or Euro 2020.
07:49That being said, I don't know if I have ever been happier in my life
07:56than the moment that Luke Shaw scored in that final against Italy.
08:00I think that without being melodramatic about it,
08:03my life might have peaked, which is a little bit concerning.
08:07But, you know, hopefully they can bring it back around this time around
08:10and go one step further.
08:11But like I said, that moment, it just felt like it was happening, didn't it?
08:16You know, I know he scored very early in the game
08:17and I know that obviously everything transpired afterwards,
08:20but there was a window where it genuinely felt like this was going to come off
08:27and it was all down to Luke Shaw.
08:29Wonderful goal.
08:30I admit, you know, otherwise in the tournament,
08:33maybe he didn't do loads and loads.
08:35Obviously, you know, that first game, he didn't even start, did he?
08:38He was keeping Trippier at left back against Croatia.
08:41So I appreciate that there are arguments against him,
08:44but for the sake of just the pure elation that I felt in that moment
08:48and then for however many minutes it was afterwards until Italy equalised,
08:52I will always have a special place in my heart for Luke Shaw.
08:55And for that reason and that reason alone,
08:57I would like to put him forward for this five-a-side team.
09:01I absolutely get what you mean,
09:03both in terms of the elation of that moment,
09:05although it was a bit less for me
09:06because I had a major surgery the next day.
09:09So I was stone cold sober, unable to eat,
09:12unable to drink, having to endure that moment,
09:15that match with no alcoholic assistance, quite frankly,
09:18was not quite such a wonderful moment for me at any point,
09:20but it was an incredible moment.
09:23I'd also think, to be honest, your youth here, Jason,
09:26is not quite the big disadvantage you think it is,
09:28because I can add Euro 96 to our list of tournaments we talk about,
09:31but the rest of it was rubbish.
09:33You know, we crashed out in the group stages 92 and 88
09:36and didn't even take it seriously before that.
09:38So, you know, it's not like I've got some vast list of heroes
09:42you don't have access to.
09:43That being said, one you don't have access to,
09:45at least in terms of your personal memories,
09:47is Stuart Pearce.
09:48Now, Stuart Pearce was in the 92 squad as well,
09:52played really well.
09:52England defended really well in that tournament.
09:54They didn't win any games.
09:55We're straight out in the group stage, bottom of the group,
09:57classic England at the Euros performance,
09:59but they were actually pretty tough to beat.
10:01They just couldn't score goals to save their life.
10:03Pearce was fantastic.
10:04Euro 96, he wasn't even meant to be in the squad.
10:07He was 34, I think.
10:08He was past his prime.
10:09Graham Lassoe had got his spot by this point,
10:11but Lassoe got injured.
10:12So this sort of creaking old relic
10:14who was best known in international football terms
10:17for being the guy who missed that penalty
10:18against West Germany in 1990 comes in.
10:20And he was really, really good.
10:22He wasn't the best player of the tournament.
10:24He probably wasn't the best left back.
10:26He was, and I think this doesn't get mentioned very often,
10:28he was slightly culpable for Germany's equaliser
10:30in the semi-final.
10:30It was him that lost Stefan Gunz's run.
10:33But he will always, always,
10:35always have that penalty against Spain.
10:37And he scored against Germany as well, lest we forget.
10:39But that moment against Spain,
10:41that's his moment of personal redemption.
10:42Him sort of just putting his laces clean
10:46through that penalty,
10:48banishing all the demons from six years previously.
10:51Demons he wasn't supposed to have a chance to banish.
10:53That became the moment of Euro 96 for a lot of us.
10:56He was just like emblematic.
10:57He was the face of the whole thing.
11:00And I just put him forward for that reason alone.
11:02Was he necessarily the best defender
11:03in England's Euros history?
11:05Maybe, maybe not.
11:06But he became one of the best moments
11:08of any defender's Euros history.
11:11It's a tricky one here
11:12because I'm sort of willing to give you a PS.
11:15Largely because I appreciate the impact he had
11:18and also I massively appreciate his music taste.
11:21But then if we're talking about moments and moments alone,
11:24is there a better moment than scoring in a final
11:28at Wembley in front of a home crowd
11:30and taking England to within, you know,
11:32a couple of spot kicks of actually winning a trophy?
11:36All right, all right.
11:37Luke Shorten, you win again.
11:39That's the end of part one.
11:46We'll be back to fill out the rest of the team after the break.
12:09All right, my turn to go first.
12:11I'm going to pick Frank Lampard.
12:13You mentioned Euro 2004 being sort of
12:15one of your formative football memories.
12:17And yeah, this was in some ways
12:19kind of Frank Lampard's moment
12:20because he had over 100 caps for England.
12:24He was obviously a brilliant player in the Premier League,
12:25brilliant player in his own right many, many times.
12:29But he never really did it in major tournaments
12:30except for Euro 2004.
12:33It wasn't always his fault.
12:34There was the ghost goal against Germany,
12:35all this sort of stuff.
12:36But he was brilliant in that one tournament.
12:38That was when he really shone.
12:39That was his peak really,
12:41even though he was quite young when he sort of, you know,
12:43he was still sort of not established.
12:44He was kind of slightly below Paul Scholes
12:46in some pecking orders,
12:47but he just outshone most of the England team
12:50and a hell of a lot of other players.
12:51I think he was the team of the tournament.
12:53Scored three goals.
12:54The goal he scored against Croatia was brilliant.
12:57A really good header against France.
12:59You know, it's not the moment people remember
13:01so much from France, it's the late penalty,
13:02but he scored a fantastic opening goal.
13:05Scored a, you know,
13:06really good goal against Portugal as well.
13:08Like, you know, crucial equalizing goal.
13:10He was just, that was Frank Lampard of his purest.
13:13That was sort of, he just played really well.
13:16Like he's always been one of those kind of players
13:18he was never particularly flashy in a way.
13:21Like he didn't have that kind of gazzerish
13:23little bit of magic about him.
13:24He was just really damn good at what he did.
13:26He found space, beat, man, scored.
13:28Did it time again, wash, rinse, repeat.
13:31And that was probably prime Frank Lampard back in 2004.
13:34And yeah, just for that alone,
13:36that was the only Euros he ever played.
13:37Obviously in 2008, Wally with the brawley,
13:39we weren't even there.
13:402012, he got injured before the tournament.
13:42You know, by the time we get to 2016,
13:44he was, I can't remember if he was actually retired
13:46by that point, but he certainly wasn't
13:47in the England reckoning at all.
13:48But yeah, it's just, it was a short flash
13:51and pan Euros-wise for Frank Lampard,
13:53but he was a good one.
13:54Given that there aren't a whole load of alternatives,
13:58I want to suggest a little bit of a wild card.
14:00So my pick, I'm going to go with Jude Bellingham
14:03at Euro 2024.
14:05It hasn't happened yet, it hasn't happened yet,
14:08but he goes into that tournament.
14:10I think there is a very strong argument
14:12to be made for him being the best player
14:14in world football right now,
14:15in terms of what he produces on a weekly basis for Real.
14:18You know, we're looking at a La Liga winner,
14:20Champions League finalist.
14:22He is the fulcrum at club level
14:24and arguably now at international level as well.
14:28He has become an indispensable player
14:31for this England team.
14:32And I think that if England are to go all the way,
14:35and it is a huge, huge if, I appreciate that,
14:38but if England are to go all the way,
14:40he is going to be the man who takes them to it.
14:44I genuinely believe that.
14:45I think that Bellingham is,
14:47he has the potential to be the most special England player
14:51that we have seen in a generation.
14:53And while it hasn't happened yet,
14:54I'm saying this with my fingers crossed
14:57and with all the manifestation in the universe,
15:00that if we were to revisit this podcast in six months time,
15:05there would be absolutely no doubt about it.
15:07And Jude Bellingham at Euro 2024
15:10would force his way into this team.
15:12Can I just check,
15:13is this you dismissing the entirety of England's
15:15admittedly slightly patchy Euros history
15:17from, you know, Raheem Sterling
15:19right down to Brian Robson and David Platt,
15:22or are you claiming psychic powers?
15:24A bit of both really, a bit of clairvoyance.
15:28No, no, I get what you're saying.
15:30And there are some really good options
15:31and I do appreciate that, you know,
15:33Lampard gets in the team.
15:34I think that is indisputable.
15:37All I'm saying is,
15:39keep an eye on Jude Bellingham
15:40because word on the street is...
15:41That he's good?
15:44He's half decent.
15:45If you haven't heard of him yet, check him out.
15:47Oh yeah, yeah, check him out, yeah.
15:50I appreciate that Lampard still beats
15:52the concept of Jude Bellingham.
15:55Only just, only just.
15:57All right, next up we need someone else in midfield
16:07and I mentioned him briefly earlier,
16:09but as far as I'm concerned,
16:10when it comes to Euros memories
16:11and Euros heroes,
16:12there is only one name that deserves mention
16:14at this point.
16:14That is Paul Gascoigne.
16:16Now, Paul Gascoigne's obviously
16:18always had a bit of a weird career
16:19in the way that even though everyone knows
16:21he was a brilliant player.
16:23When people think about Paul Gascoigne,
16:25what they mostly think about
16:26is moments of weirdness or sadness
16:30or controversy.
16:32They think of, you know,
16:33his tears at the World Cup.
16:34They think of him bringing a bucket
16:36of fried chicken for Raoul Moult.
16:38They think of all this odd stuff that he did
16:40and they then think,
16:41the one moment they think of
16:43when people sort of talk about Paul Gascoigne
16:45is they think about that goal
16:47against Scotland at Euro 96.
16:48Now, he was fantastic for the rest
16:50of the tournament as well.
16:51He was brilliant against the Netherlands
16:52in that 4-1 win.
16:53He set up one,
16:54that was the header from a corner,
16:56that was his corner.
16:57Brilliant part of that wonderful move
16:59for the Shearer goal,
17:00the 3-0 goal,
17:01which is probably the best of them.
17:03You know, he was fabulous.
17:04His playmaking was brilliant.
17:06His passing was wonderful.
17:07He was absolutely on his peak
17:08and that was kind of his second
17:10and final peak as a player
17:11when he was really shining at ranges
17:13after a spell in Italy,
17:14all that sort of thing.
17:15And I know people remember that goal
17:17and they'll watch that goal endlessly.
17:19And, you know, it doesn't matter
17:20how any England fan,
17:21even if they were born 20 years
17:22after Euro 96,
17:24at some point before,
17:25he's probably seen that goal by now.
17:26Eight-year-old England fans
17:27have seen that goal.
17:28It's part of England's mythology
17:30at this point.
17:30And of course, you know,
17:31you add in the bit where he immediately
17:33did the dentist chair celebration.
17:34And so he did, of course,
17:35add a little bit of ridiculous
17:37gassiness on top of it.
17:38But that's just, you know,
17:40for all the wonderful things he'd done,
17:41that will be his moment.
17:42That's the single second
17:44that defines his career,
17:45when he flicks it up,
17:46puts Colin Hendry on his backside
17:47and slots into the back of the net.
17:49It was magic.
17:50It's one of those great moments.
17:51I think Gaz deserves to be in the team
17:53based on that alone.
17:55Yeah, I'm tempted to agree.
17:57I think that
17:59that is the quintessential Gazer moment.
18:02And I would argue that Gazer
18:03is the quintessential
18:05England Euro Championship figure
18:08for that moment.
18:09And so, you know,
18:10I'm not really going to disagree with you.
18:12I'm also not going to suggest a midfielder.
18:16Seemingly got a bit of a vendetta against him.
18:18I'm going to go for Wayne Rooney
18:21at Euro 2004.
18:22This felt like a proper arrival.
18:26This was the moment at which he went,
18:29OK, this lad is world class.
18:31Like, not just going to be brilliant
18:34in the Premier League,
18:34but is genuinely going to be dominant
18:36on an international stage
18:38for however many years that he wants to be.
18:40You know, just the brashness,
18:43the sort of casual arrogance
18:45of everything he did was just wonderful.
18:48It was just,
18:49there were moments in that tournament
18:50where he was unplayable.
18:52And to see him play,
18:54you would not have believed
18:55that he was as young as he was,
18:57that he was as relatively
18:58inexperienced as he was.
19:01You know, he just went in that tournament,
19:02he took it by the scruff of the neck
19:03and he was absolutely fabulous
19:06for large swathes of it.
19:07Now, obviously, it didn't end
19:10in the way that anybody
19:12would have wanted it to, you know,
19:13and you could maybe argue
19:16that had he been able to play
19:17a larger part, England might have been able
19:19to get further in that tournament.
19:21But even as it was,
19:24just on the fact that
19:26it felt like the unveiling
19:28of the Wayne Rooney
19:29that we all came to know
19:31over the next decade and a half.
19:34I don't know.
19:34I feel like tossing a coin here,
19:36but I'm in a good mood.
19:37So I'm just going to give you Wayne Rooney
19:38because I'm nice.
19:40Well, you know what, Marv?
19:42Can I shock you?
19:43I am also nice
19:44and I think we should go with Paul Gascoigne
19:46because I think it's just impossible
19:48to look past him.
19:49Boy, he did a Euro 96.
19:50So for the sake of diplomacy,
19:54I think we should go with Paul Gascoigne.
20:03OK, so final place,
20:05point of attack, centre forward.
20:07I'm going to go with
20:08England's current captain,
20:10the man who led them in Euro 2020,
20:12the man who's going to lead them,
20:13hopefully, touch wood,
20:15in Euro 2024, Harry Kane.
20:19Again, I've spoken a lot about moments
20:21on this pod already,
20:23and I just think that
20:25some of the moments that he provided
20:27in that tournament
20:28will always be etched in my memory.
20:31Just, you know, the goal against Germany,
20:33obviously the semi-final.
20:35There were just so many,
20:37like I say, just flashpoints
20:38in that tournament where Harry Kane
20:41turned up, did what Harry Kane does,
20:44was there at the right place,
20:46right time, got the goal,
20:47dragged England through
20:48in that manner that we've become
20:49so accustomed to
20:50over the course of his career,
20:52and was just everything
20:54that you would want
20:55in a centre forward in a tournament.
20:57Obviously, he's scored four goals
20:58over the course of the tournament
20:59as a whole.
21:01You could maybe argue
21:02that he went missing
21:03a little bit in the final,
21:05but it's a very harsh criticism, I think.
21:08And ultimately,
21:10he was one of, if not the main men
21:13for England at that tournament.
21:14And I think given how far they went,
21:16given how close they came,
21:17and given the fact that, again,
21:19to use the Pickford argument,
21:20on another day,
21:21he could have been
21:21the first England captain
21:22to lift a major trophy since 1966.
21:26You know, I think it's really, really hard
21:28to look past Harry Kane
21:29and the contribution
21:30that he made at that tournament.
21:31But I have a very strong feeling
21:34that I know who you're going to plump for here.
21:35And so I'm going to give you the floor.
21:38Yeah, it's like, you know,
21:40that sort of the Top Gear meme
21:42that goes around the internet
21:43and goes, this is great,
21:44but I like this, that one.
21:46This is great.
21:47That's Harry Kane.
21:48Alan Shearer is down there.
21:49And long-term viewers will know that
21:51any time that, you know,
21:52Sunderland or England come up,
21:54Jason will go for Jordan Pickford
21:55because he's horribly biased.
21:56I'm a Blackburn Rovers fan.
21:57Whenever there is an opportunity
21:58for Alan Shearer to come up,
22:00I'm horribly biased and I pick him.
22:02And I will refuse to allow him
22:03to not be in the squad
22:04under any circumstances.
22:06I mean, at least in this case,
22:06I've got a pretty good case
22:08because, you know, five goals
22:09and the golden boot at Euro 96,
22:11two more in the Euros history as well.
22:13So he's England's all-time top scorer
22:15in the Euros, a couple more in 2000.
22:18It's just, it's Alan Shearer.
22:19He's the best striker England has,
22:21well, ever had.
22:22You can have an argument,
22:23in my opinion.
22:24Yeah, let's not go too wild, Mark.
22:29Anyway, he's still one
22:31of the all-time greats,
22:32let's be fair here.
22:33And he was brilliant in Euro 96.
22:35You know, it wasn't just, you know,
22:37a couple of penalties,
22:38a couple of really good goals.
22:39That goal against the Netherlands,
22:40I mean, what a moment that was.
22:41Like, what a finish as well, by the way.
22:44Just absolutely sort of cut
22:44across the ball like that
22:45and smash it into the top right hand corner.
22:47It was really, the technique involved
22:49in that I think is underrated,
22:50as he so often is with Shearer
22:52because he usually absolutely
22:53spanned the ball and people forgot
22:54that he was also doing it
22:55in a very skilful manner.
22:57And yeah, the goal against Germany
22:59after, what, three minutes, four minutes,
23:00whatever it was, you know,
23:01just that wonderful bit of movement
23:02and just finding half the outer spaces.
23:04It's Shearer.
23:05He's just one of the greats.
23:07He's one of the best there's ever been.
23:08He's the best, you know, for me ever
23:11because I'm horribly biased
23:12and because I basically go to sleep
23:14dressed in Alan Shearer pyjamas
23:16with my Alan Shearer duvet case.
23:17This isn't true, by the way,
23:18although I do have a signed photo
23:19of Alan Shearer.
23:21But like, it's Shearer.
23:23And like Harry Kane, yeah, brilliant.
23:25Not scored as many goals as Shearer.
23:27Also not won a major tournament.
23:29So, you know, for me,
23:31I think if I let you have Jordan Pigford,
23:33I think this is where I've got to
23:34sort of buy my little hill to start,
23:36you know, to stand and die on.
23:37I'm picking Shearer.
23:39Yeah, I'll let you put your foot down here.
23:42I think the fact that he...
23:44Which is kind of oxymoronic in itself.