A new mum admitted she "felt nothing" when her baby girl was born after comparing herself to "perfect" Instagram families led to postnatal depression and psychosis.
Shannon Finan, 30, was excited when she found out she was expecting but, after feeling a pressure to be the best mum from Instagram posts, she "disconnected" from her bump.
Her mental health took a downward spiral and Shannon struggled to feel an immediate love when her daughter, Orlagh, now one, was born in June 2023.
The single mum even planned to take her own life before she was admitted to Margaret Oates Mother and Baby Unit, Nottingham.
Now Shannon feels "deserving" of her daughter and wants to normalise postnatal depression and psychosis.
Shannon Finan, 30, was excited when she found out she was expecting but, after feeling a pressure to be the best mum from Instagram posts, she "disconnected" from her bump.
Her mental health took a downward spiral and Shannon struggled to feel an immediate love when her daughter, Orlagh, now one, was born in June 2023.
The single mum even planned to take her own life before she was admitted to Margaret Oates Mother and Baby Unit, Nottingham.
Now Shannon feels "deserving" of her daughter and wants to normalise postnatal depression and psychosis.
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00:43I'm Shannon and I am ten months postpartum of having my daughter Orla.
00:49When I was six months pregnant something happened to me
00:52that many other women go through and I didn't,
00:58I didn't think it was going to happen to me.
01:00During this time my mental health started to decline
01:04to the point of no return.
01:08And unfortunately in the last three months of my pregnancy
01:11I planned ways to end my life.
01:15What I saw one morning completely changed everything for me
01:20and left me with postnatal psychosis.
01:26If you don't know what postnatal psychosis is,
01:28one in ten suffer it and I was that one in ten.
01:32I imagined things, I thought I saw things to the point where
01:38I acted on a lot of things that I usually wouldn't.
01:41Before I had Orla and after.
01:44When she was born I didn't love her.
01:50That's just so horrible to say.
01:53I knew I wanted to love her but I couldn't
01:57because everything was just so cloudy.
02:03In July of 2023 I was admitted to a mother and baby unit
02:07where I was given the treatment I needed
02:12to be able to form a bond with Orla.
02:15Every day is a battle but it's a battle worth fighting.
02:18It's actually a happy ending because I'm with my baby now
02:23but also her mummy gets to be with her
02:26because she didn't take her own life.