A mum felt “disappointed” after finding out she was expecting a baby girl, “numb and disconnected” when she was born and had therapy to come to terms with not having a boy.
Emily Duncan, 26, had her heart set on having one of each and felt sure she was pregnant with a boy after the birth of her eldest daughter, Sophia, four.
The eldest of six girls, Emily felt "pressure" to be the "supplier of a grandson" and was shocked when she found out she was having another girl at her gender reveal.
She spent the rest of her pregnancy "digesting" the news, did therapy and painted the nursery pink to help her "heal" - and now couldn't imagine having boys.
Emily gave birth to Alice in July 2022 but felt "numb and disappointed but so determined to love her".
Now the mum-of-two is "very happy" with her daughters and no longer feels any disappointment.
Emily, a stay-at-home-mum, from Santaquin, Utah, US, said: "I’d always pictured having a little girl and having a little boy.
"I had this expectation for my life and that I was going to have a son.
"When we opened up that box and saw the little pink balloons it was quite shocking and not just to me but everyone in the room.
"I went straight to bed and bawled my eyes out.
"Everyone around me told me it was silly and stupid, and I should just be grateful for having a baby.
"I never felt ever like I didn’t love my child.
"I only ever felt disappointed.
"When she was born, I was numb and disconnected but so determined to love her.
"Now my daughter, Alice, is my best friend.
"It’s a joy and pleasure to raise two baby girls. I'm not disappointed at all."
Emily was "surprised" to fall pregnant with her first daughter after being told it would be unlikely she would have children due to her polycystic ovary syndrome - which affects how the ovaries work.
She said: "I’ve always been a dreamed of being a mum.
"I really wanted one of each.
"I am one of six.
"We have a joke that we have a generational curse.
"I was very excited about having my first baby. I wasn’t upset as I wanted a girl first."
After having Sophia in January 2019, Emily and her husband, Koby, 27, a city inspector, tried for their second child.
They struggled to conceive naturally again so tried intrauterine insemination (IUI) - a fertility treatment that gives sperm a better chance at fertilising an egg.
Emily fell pregnant in October 2021 and was certain she was having a boy.
She said: "I already had a daughter.
"It was important to break the curse.
"There was a lot of pressure put on me to be the supplier of a grandson.
"We were sure it was a boy.
"I had different cravings - my demeanour was different - I checked off every single one of the old wives' tales."
But at the gender reveal in December 2021 the couple found out they were having another girl - which disappointed Emily and her family.
Emily Duncan, 26, had her heart set on having one of each and felt sure she was pregnant with a boy after the birth of her eldest daughter, Sophia, four.
The eldest of six girls, Emily felt "pressure" to be the "supplier of a grandson" and was shocked when she found out she was having another girl at her gender reveal.
She spent the rest of her pregnancy "digesting" the news, did therapy and painted the nursery pink to help her "heal" - and now couldn't imagine having boys.
Emily gave birth to Alice in July 2022 but felt "numb and disappointed but so determined to love her".
Now the mum-of-two is "very happy" with her daughters and no longer feels any disappointment.
Emily, a stay-at-home-mum, from Santaquin, Utah, US, said: "I’d always pictured having a little girl and having a little boy.
"I had this expectation for my life and that I was going to have a son.
"When we opened up that box and saw the little pink balloons it was quite shocking and not just to me but everyone in the room.
"I went straight to bed and bawled my eyes out.
"Everyone around me told me it was silly and stupid, and I should just be grateful for having a baby.
"I never felt ever like I didn’t love my child.
"I only ever felt disappointed.
"When she was born, I was numb and disconnected but so determined to love her.
"Now my daughter, Alice, is my best friend.
"It’s a joy and pleasure to raise two baby girls. I'm not disappointed at all."
Emily was "surprised" to fall pregnant with her first daughter after being told it would be unlikely she would have children due to her polycystic ovary syndrome - which affects how the ovaries work.
She said: "I’ve always been a dreamed of being a mum.
"I really wanted one of each.
"I am one of six.
"We have a joke that we have a generational curse.
"I was very excited about having my first baby. I wasn’t upset as I wanted a girl first."
After having Sophia in January 2019, Emily and her husband, Koby, 27, a city inspector, tried for their second child.
They struggled to conceive naturally again so tried intrauterine insemination (IUI) - a fertility treatment that gives sperm a better chance at fertilising an egg.
Emily fell pregnant in October 2021 and was certain she was having a boy.
She said: "I already had a daughter.
"It was important to break the curse.
"There was a lot of pressure put on me to be the supplier of a grandson.
"We were sure it was a boy.
"I had different cravings - my demeanour was different - I checked off every single one of the old wives' tales."
But at the gender reveal in December 2021 the couple found out they were having another girl - which disappointed Emily and her family.
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FunTranscript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 There's this standard set expectation
00:25 that we should just be grateful immediately
00:28 when we're pregnant, when we have a baby,
00:30 whether the gender is our ideal gender or not.
00:33 Like everything should just be so bright and sunshiny
00:37 and so happy because we're pregnant
00:39 with our rainbow baby after so long.
00:42 Our life is perfect now, right?
00:44 Wrong.
00:45 Just because I was disappointed does not mean
00:47 that I don't love and want and cherish this baby.
00:50 It's just that I've always pictured my life with a son
00:54 and I've always wanted a son.
00:56 And I have five sisters.
00:59 So I was really excited to like break the chain
01:03 and give my husband a son
01:06 and my dad finally give him a baby boy.
01:10 And so there's a lot of emotion attached
01:12 to this gender reveal.
01:14 (upbeat music)
01:16 (upbeat music)
01:19 It's okay to feel those feelings.
01:32 What's not okay is to shame other moms
01:35 for feeling feelings.
01:37 That's not okay.