Guns Of Batasi
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:06 [WHISTLING]
00:00:26 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:31 [WHISTLING]
00:00:35 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:40 [WHISTLING]
00:00:44 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:51 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:54 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:58 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:01 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:06 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:10 [WHISTLING]
00:01:14 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:21 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:24 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:28 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:31 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:34 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:38 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:41 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:49 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:07 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:11 [SINGING]
00:02:18 How's he singing, June?
00:02:22 [SINGING]
00:02:25 [LAUGHTER]
00:02:29 Hey, Ben, you know, I was just thinking,
00:02:33 back home they wouldn't let me drive a scooter
00:02:35 without taking a test.
00:02:37 Marvelous, isn't it?
00:02:38 Marvelous.
00:02:42 Here, Ben, look.
00:02:47 [HONKING]
00:02:48 Get out of it, you bunch of stupid--
00:02:50 [HONKING]
00:02:54 [HONKING]
00:02:57 Ooh, Lonnie.
00:03:03 He was exceeding the speed limit.
00:03:05 Hey, watch the road.
00:03:07 [CRASHING]
00:03:10 [SHOUTING]
00:03:17 [HONKING]
00:03:34 [HONKING]
00:03:37 [SHOUTING]
00:03:44 You say that this reckless abuse of power must stop now.
00:03:49 [HONKING]
00:03:52 [SHOUTING]
00:04:00 [HONKING]
00:04:04 [SHOUTING]
00:04:11 Sorry, gents, no passengers allowed.
00:04:29 [ENGINE REVVING]
00:04:32 Hey, Ben, what do you reckon they're up to?
00:04:36 I don't know.
00:04:38 They got rid of our government.
00:04:40 Perhaps they want to get rid of their own.
00:04:42 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:04:51 [HONKING]
00:04:55 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:05:00 [HONKING]
00:05:03 Come on, lads, let's be having you.
00:05:26 Retreat, Sergeant.
00:05:27 Dusty, get them cracking with the unloading corp.
00:05:30 Yes, Sergeant.
00:05:31 Corporal, Corporal, when you've done that,
00:05:32 here's the mail for the officer's mess.
00:05:34 Right.
00:05:35 [INAUDIBLE]
00:05:36 End of place.
00:05:37 [HONKING]
00:05:40 You got any mail for me?
00:05:42 Bowed right to you, dick.
00:05:43 Blimey, I'd forgotten what women smelt like.
00:05:46 Where's it from?
00:05:47 Ha ha, Sydney.
00:05:48 [LAUGHING]
00:05:49 One, two, one, two, one--
00:05:52 Ben?
00:05:53 Ben!
00:05:54 Nothing this time, muscles.
00:05:56 Sorry, mate.
00:05:57 Come on, load yourselves up.
00:05:58 One, two, one, two.
00:06:00 So our head man is the prime minister.
00:06:04 Your head man is the--
00:06:05 President.
00:06:07 Now, our prime minister works in Parliament.
00:06:09 Your head man works in--
00:06:11 House of Assembly.
00:06:12 Good, splendid.
00:06:13 Now, one of our members of Parliament
00:06:15 is coming to this camp.
00:06:17 I'm sure she'll want to talk to you.
00:06:19 She, sir?
00:06:20 Oh, yes, a woman, a woman member.
00:06:22 Oh, women in Parliament have their uses, you know.
00:06:24 What use is there?
00:06:25 To carry water?
00:06:26 [LAUGHING]
00:06:27 Yes, well, uh, we won't go into that one now.
00:06:31 Class dismiss.
00:06:33 [LAUGHING]
00:06:34 [CHATTER]
00:06:36 Fire!
00:06:37 [GUNSHOTS]
00:06:38 [CAT MEOWING]
00:06:41 Hey, Ben, is that for me?
00:06:43 Yeah, what is it, then?
00:06:46 Good, that's my degree course.
00:06:47 Oh, blimey.
00:06:48 Haven't you had enough education?
00:06:50 Come on, Abbo, what about that dirty great pint
00:06:52 that got a mouth on me like a gorilla's armpit?
00:06:54 Ben, school eat?
00:06:55 No, thanks.
00:06:55 All right, just a quick one.
00:06:56 Been down to the railhead?
00:06:58 80 miles of dust track, enough to boil your brains.
00:07:01 There's something queer going on down in Battersea.
00:07:04 When we came through the main square just now,
00:07:06 it was choked up with Africans running all ways and hollering.
00:07:09 Fill her up, Abbo.
00:07:11 Char.
00:07:12 Some of them tried to stop us and all.
00:07:14 Probably celebrating something.
00:07:15 Maybe one of those dare bars.
00:07:16 No, these characters were dead serious.
00:07:19 They were really giving it big licks,
00:07:21 banners and drums and all.
00:07:23 Look out, here comes the RSM.
00:07:24 We'll have to get changed.
00:07:27 He comes in and catches us like this, he'll do his tech.
00:07:29 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:07:32 There's a man there!
00:07:51 Come here!
00:07:52 When you pass a commission officer,
00:08:03 you don't wave your end about like a pregnant penguin.
00:08:08 You execute a salute in the following manner.
00:08:11 Raise the right hand by the longest root
00:08:13 till the second finger rests one inch above the right eye.
00:08:14 At the same time, turn the head and your eyes
00:08:16 in the direction of the officer.
00:08:17 When one face past the officer, return the eyes to the front
00:08:18 and your hand to the right side by the shortest root.
00:08:20 Is that clear?
00:08:21 Yes, sir.
00:08:25 Right.
00:08:27 Let's see you do it then, lad.
00:08:28 Come along, come along.
00:08:30 Salute in my numbers.
00:08:32 One, two, one, two.
00:08:40 Put that in the fire, will you?
00:08:41 A message from command, sir.
00:08:47 Thank you.
00:08:49 You'd better wait.
00:08:50 Sir?
00:08:50 Order!
00:08:51 Go in.
00:09:02 Priority signal from command, sir.
00:09:04 Read it out, Tony, will you?
00:09:06 Yes, sir.
00:09:08 Serious political riots reported in the capital.
00:09:11 For the duration of these disturbances,
00:09:13 British personnel will retire to their respective messes
00:09:16 and take no part in regimental activities.
00:09:18 British officers commanding African formations
00:09:21 will hand over command forthwith to senior African officer
00:09:24 and await further instructions from this HQ.
00:09:26 It's all right, we made it.
00:09:32 He's still at it.
00:09:33 One, two, a lovely swig of--
00:09:37 Lovely hour, Roger.
00:09:38 A pint, please, Digger.
00:09:38 Right.
00:09:39 And the usual for Ben.
00:09:40 Well, this will be my last Queen's birthday dinner.
00:09:44 So you really are.
00:09:45 They won't let you extend?
00:09:46 No, mate, too bloody old.
00:09:48 Well, we'll come and see you off at the airport.
00:09:49 I want to sink a few pints that day.
00:09:51 I reckon old Ben's got himself a smashing job out there.
00:09:54 They've got no time for hairy old soldiers in Civvy Street.
00:09:56 No, mate, you'll be all right once they
00:09:58 see you standing up there straight as a ramrod,
00:10:00 holding your guts in, slamming your feet down, they'll say--
00:10:02 Give this man a kick in the crutch out of it.
00:10:05 Why don't you become a doorman, Ben?
00:10:06 I know a bloke who's knocking off 16 pounds a week.
00:10:09 Stand around a doorway all day saluting every stray bastard
00:10:12 that comes and goes.
00:10:14 Not likely I'm chocker with that bloody lark.
00:10:16 Never mind, Ben, the great British public
00:10:18 will see that you get your reward.
00:10:19 [INAUDIBLE]
00:10:21 Slam your foot down, slam it down hard.
00:10:24 RSM's getting carried away out there.
00:10:26 He's 3 and 1/2 minutes late.
00:10:28 Must have fractured his elbow by now.
00:10:30 He wouldn't let a little thing like that hold him up.
00:10:32 You won't get away with that.
00:10:38 You'll spot it in two minutes.
00:10:40 You want a bet?
00:10:41 Fight's all round.
00:10:42 You're on.
00:10:44 There's nothing for you, old man of muscle.
00:10:47 Now, leave off.
00:10:49 Why don't you call me muscles like everybody else?
00:10:52 Muscles?
00:10:53 You notice anything different?
00:10:55 Well, what's going on?
00:10:56 Evening, gentlemen.
00:11:00 Evening, sir.
00:11:00 Sir.
00:11:13 What's it going to be, sir?
00:11:15 I'll have a whiskey for me.
00:11:16 Sir.
00:11:18 How's the marriage prospects, Corporal Abbou?
00:11:19 Oh, very fine, thank you, sir.
00:11:21 Very fine.
00:11:22 Dodger, weren't you supposed to have the lawnmower repaired?
00:11:24 Yes, sir.
00:11:25 I tried it this afternoon.
00:11:26 I regret to say it wouldn't cut off butter.
00:11:29 We'll have to get some more table mats.
00:11:31 Down at Command HQ, they've got some new ones
00:11:32 stamped with the regimental crest.
00:11:35 These old ones are shabby.
00:11:36 They're a disgrace.
00:11:39 Silver to do with the polish, too, Corporal Abbou?
00:11:42 Sir.
00:11:43 Anybody got a light?
00:11:45 Yes, sir.
00:11:46 Now tell me which bloody fool among you
00:11:53 removed Her Majesty's portrait.
00:11:55 I'm afraid that was me, sir.
00:11:56 I bet Ben pints all around you wouldn't
00:11:58 spot it under two minutes.
00:11:59 Put it back.
00:12:00 Yes, sir.
00:12:03 I'll have proper respect shown in this mess.
00:12:07 You may think you know me, gentlemen.
00:12:08 You may think you can see me coming.
00:12:10 But let me tell you this.
00:12:12 There's no alteration, celebration, no argumentation,
00:12:15 and no qualification in this mess that escapes my little eye.
00:12:19 Read, learn, and inwardly bloody digest.
00:12:22 I've seen cow cut up.
00:12:25 I've eaten camel down.
00:12:26 My knees are brown.
00:12:27 My navel is central.
00:12:28 My conscience is clear.
00:12:31 And my will is with my solicitors short and curly.
00:12:33 I believe you're in the chair, Dodger.
00:12:37 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:12:41 Dodger, stand at ease.
00:12:49 [GUNSHOT]
00:12:50 [MOTORCYCLE ENGINE]
00:12:54 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:12:57 Come in.
00:12:58 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:13:01 Is that for me, sir?
00:13:02 Yes, Captain Abraham.
00:13:05 Take a look at that.
00:13:08 Serious political riots in the capital.
00:13:12 British personnel will take no part
00:13:15 in regimental activities.
00:13:18 Few political hotheads, sir.
00:13:20 We'll hand over command to senior African officer.
00:13:26 He will assume command of this battalion as of now 1,900 hours.
00:13:32 This is quite a shock, sir.
00:13:34 I'll call my officers together.
00:13:37 Right.
00:13:39 I would welcome your advice, sir.
00:13:42 Of course, anything I can do.
00:13:44 Thank you, sir.
00:13:45 All right, Abraham.
00:13:48 Come on, Charlie.
00:13:49 [HORN HONKING]
00:13:57 [SHOUTING]
00:14:01 Move!
00:14:22 Come on, [INAUDIBLE]
00:14:24 Move!
00:14:25 Move!
00:14:26 [GUNFIRE]
00:14:27 [INAUDIBLE]
00:14:28 [GUNFIRE]
00:14:31 [SHOUTING]
00:14:34 I'll get staffed.
00:14:36 Don't seem to like us very much.
00:14:38 Of course they do.
00:14:39 It's just their way of expressing themselves.
00:14:41 [SHOUTING]
00:14:55 Proud as a peacock he was, saluted like a guardsman.
00:14:58 Thought I was back at the depot for a minute.
00:14:59 Except for his color, of course.
00:15:01 That's what you need in the army.
00:15:02 Isn't that so, Ben?
00:15:03 Pride.
00:15:06 Remember the church parades in Singapore before the war?
00:15:09 Everybody marching through the town on a Sunday morning
00:15:11 behind the band and drums, bags of swank.
00:15:14 Sea of ease, Catholics, anti-Baptists,
00:15:16 every bloody thing.
00:15:19 There was a man, name of Smith, 279.
00:15:23 Refused to go to church on the grounds he was an atheist.
00:15:25 Like to whip him up in front of the colonel, of course.
00:15:27 Old Colonel Killingbeck, it was.
00:15:29 He was a wicked old larson.
00:15:31 When Smith said he was an atheist,
00:15:33 old Killingbeck said his documents.
00:15:35 You stated you were church--
00:15:37 you stated you were Church of England when you enlisted,
00:15:43 he says.
00:15:45 Smith says, I know, sir.
00:15:48 But I've changed my mind in the meantime.
00:15:50 In this regiment, says old Killingbeck,
00:15:53 only the officers change their mind.
00:15:55 And even they have to get permission in writing.
00:15:59 28 days glass house they gave him,
00:16:01 which was something to shout about in those days.
00:16:03 Wonderful station, Singapore.
00:16:05 What was your favorite station, Muscles?
00:16:07 The best station I ever knew was Malta before the war.
00:16:11 The Navy used to go on fleet maneuvers
00:16:12 and leave their wives behind, all soft and pink.
00:16:16 Willing.
00:16:19 We made sure they never got lonesome.
00:16:20 [LAUGHS]
00:16:23 You didn't have time to wipe your boots.
00:16:26 [LAUGHS]
00:16:29 You couldn't beat India, though, you know, Ben.
00:16:31 Jewel of the East, they used to call it.
00:16:33 What a pity they had to go and give it away.
00:16:35 Well, gentlemen, do you all understand the new situation?
00:16:38 Yes, sir.
00:16:39 Yes, sir.
00:16:40 Good.
00:16:41 I just want to remind you of one thing.
00:16:44 It is your duty to carry out the orders
00:16:46 of the elected government.
00:16:48 It is not for us to concern ourselves with politics.
00:16:52 That quite clear?
00:16:53 Yes, sir.
00:16:54 Very well.
00:16:55 So I want to see you all again at 9 o'clock
00:16:57 sharp tomorrow morning.
00:16:59 That is all.
00:17:00 Boniface.
00:17:09 Sir?
00:17:11 Bernie, your company is on duty tonight.
00:17:14 Yes, sir.
00:17:15 Travel all pickets with guards on the arms and ammunition
00:17:18 stewards.
00:17:20 Don't issue any ammo except on my instructions.
00:17:24 Somebody might shoot somebody.
00:17:27 Recall A and B companies.
00:17:31 Here's the signal.
00:17:33 Will that be all, sir?
00:17:35 For the moment.
00:17:37 You'll come back later.
00:17:38 We'll do rounds together.
00:17:39 Sir.
00:17:44 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:17:47 Well, the battalion seems to be in very capable hands.
00:18:00 I'll put Mr. Lauderdale in the picture,
00:18:02 and then we can get changed for the party and relax.
00:18:05 [DOOR OPENS]
00:18:06 [PHONE RINGING]
00:18:08 Hello?
00:18:10 Yes. Yes, he's here right now.
00:18:11 It's for you, sir.
00:18:12 Oh, thank you.
00:18:15 Colonel Deal speaking.
00:18:18 Yes, well, I could be there in a couple of hours, sir,
00:18:20 but--
00:18:21 well, won't he wait until morning?
00:18:23 Very well, Sir William.
00:18:29 Damn.
00:18:30 What's the trouble, sir?
00:18:31 The deputy commissioner wants to see me tonight.
00:18:35 Oh, uh, phone Mr. Lauderdale and say
00:18:37 I'll call in on my way.
00:18:39 Right, sir.
00:18:41 Last, I nearly forgot, the Barker-Wise woman.
00:18:47 She wants to spend an evening in the sergeant's mess.
00:18:51 Lay on the transport, will you?
00:18:53 With pleasure, sir.
00:18:55 What bad luck, sir, you having to go off this evening.
00:18:58 I mean, with the nurses coming to dinner and everything.
00:19:01 Yes, it is bad luck.
00:19:04 To you, too, Tony, you're coming with me.
00:19:09 Now, you wouldn't credit a sausage fly at brains,
00:19:12 would you?
00:19:12 But this little beast landed on my shoulders
00:19:14 three times running.
00:19:15 Real tame, he is, sir.
00:19:16 How do you know it's the same one?
00:19:17 Well, I can tell, can't I, sport?
00:19:19 European sergeant's mess?
00:19:21 One moment, sir.
00:19:22 Sergeant Major Lauderdale, it's for you, sir.
00:19:25 Here, let's try and see if we can get him plastered, shall we?
00:19:27 Anything else ought to meet you up?
00:19:29 Get your laughing gear around that, mate.
00:19:31 Very well, sir.
00:19:32 CO's on his way over.
00:19:33 Ben, be ready to offer him a drink as soon
00:19:35 as he comes through this door.
00:19:36 Yeah.
00:19:37 [HORSE NEIGHING]
00:19:38 Good evening, Mr. Lauderdale.
00:19:43 Evening, sir.
00:19:44 Would you care to come in for a drink, sir?
00:19:46 There's nothing I'd like better,
00:19:47 but I'm afraid I'll have to keep.
00:19:49 The war office have got a flap on.
00:19:52 What again, sir?
00:19:53 [GUNFIRE]
00:19:55 [SHOUTING]
00:19:59 [GUNSHOT]
00:20:01 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
00:20:03 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
00:20:05 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
00:20:07 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
00:20:14 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
00:20:15 [GUNFIRE]
00:20:18 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
00:20:23 [GUNFIRE]
00:20:26 [GUNFIRE]
00:20:35 In the meantime, you will be responsible for the safety
00:20:38 of the members of your mess.
00:20:40 There shouldn't be any complications
00:20:42 if we keep our heads down until this little spot of bother
00:20:44 blows over, and then we can carry on as usual.
00:20:48 Yes, sir.
00:20:49 Oh, and don't forget what I told you about Miss Barker-Wise.
00:20:53 She's a member of Parliament, so tell your chaps
00:20:56 to be a bit diplomatic.
00:21:00 I'll tell them, sir.
00:21:01 [ENGINE REVVING]
00:21:04 Ah, look.
00:21:07 He can hardly walk straight.
00:21:10 He's got the hiccups now.
00:21:12 Up!
00:21:13 Little bastard bit me.
00:21:14 [GUNSHOT]
00:21:15 [LAUGHTER]
00:21:16 Have the old joint off.
00:21:18 If I'd had the colonel with me, I'd have bit you.
00:21:20 You were so long, sir, we couldn't
00:21:21 think what was happening.
00:21:22 Does the gallant colonel bring good news from the front, sir?
00:21:24 He does. Marvelous news.
00:21:25 News to set your little ears a tingling.
00:21:27 I'm late for everybody's--
00:21:28 Now, now, now, now.
00:21:29 And, Shen, you're all confined to the mess
00:21:32 till further notice.
00:21:34 Well, what have we done, sir?
00:21:35 I think you've done.
00:21:36 It's due to the political situation.
00:21:38 Well, how long till further notice, sir?
00:21:40 In this case, till order's restored down in the town.
00:21:43 Oh, marvelous, isn't it?
00:21:44 Bloody marvelous.
00:21:46 Two hot chocolate mechanics chuck bricks at each other,
00:21:48 and the whole British Army's immobilized.
00:21:49 May I remind you, Son Brown, they're
00:21:52 not hot chocolate mechanics.
00:21:53 They're Africans.
00:21:54 And you're not the old of the British Army.
00:21:56 Thank God.
00:21:58 Oh, Blabberwoot.
00:21:59 Sir, I want an extra place laid for dinner.
00:22:01 We shall be entertaining a lady.
00:22:02 Yes, sir.
00:22:03 A lady?
00:22:04 Blimey, a woman?
00:22:05 Not one of those nursing bits from the hospital.
00:22:06 We're entertaining a member of the House of Commons,
00:22:08 Miss Barker-Wise.
00:22:09 Oh, Blabberwoot.
00:22:09 Right, I want this place tidied up.
00:22:10 Digger, sling those empties over the bar.
00:22:12 - Sir. - Muscles.
00:22:13 Sir.
00:22:14 Get rid of these pinups.
00:22:15 Schooley, hide these disgusting magazines.
00:22:18 Dodger.
00:22:19 Sir.
00:22:19 Make it over useful.
00:22:20 Come along, come along.
00:22:21 And remember this.
00:22:23 If I catch any member of this mess
00:22:25 drifting about the hardships of a soldier's life
00:22:27 into the ear all over certain member
00:22:29 of Her Majesty's government--
00:22:30 You're sure she's not a member of the opposition, sir?
00:22:32 I don't care if she's a member of the Royal Belly.
00:22:34 If I catch anybody belly--
00:22:37 bellyaching, it'll be harder after she's gone.
00:22:40 The Army's a great life, and don't you forget it.
00:22:44 Right, here she is.
00:22:46 Now, I want you all behaving like little old Fonteroys.
00:22:49 No blasphemy, no obscenity, and above all, no bad language.
00:22:53 [DOOR CREAKING]
00:22:57 Who the bloody hell are you?
00:23:01 Evening, Sergeant Major.
00:23:03 Step aside.
00:23:04 Let's have a look at you.
00:23:05 Evening, all.
00:23:22 What's your name, lad?
00:23:24 Wilkes, Private Wilkes.
00:23:26 I shan't be Private Wilkes for much longer.
00:23:28 Oh, really?
00:23:31 What will you be then, Field Marshal Montgomery?
00:23:33 [CHUCKLES]
00:23:34 [YELLING]
00:23:39 Identification card.
00:23:39 Yes, well, Private Wilkes 714.
00:23:50 What are you doing here?
00:23:51 In transit, back to England for DMO.
00:23:53 Sir!
00:23:54 Sir!
00:23:54 What's this?
00:24:01 Well?
00:24:02 This is Miss Erickson, sir.
00:24:07 She's, um-- she's on her way back to Paris.
00:24:10 She got stranded at the airport, same as me.
00:24:14 No planes taking off.
00:24:16 That's right.
00:24:17 Mr. Wilkes was kind enough to look after me.
00:24:19 [SIGHS]
00:24:22 Oh, this is, uh, all highly regular.
00:24:26 This is a military establishment, not a hotel.
00:24:29 Well, I-- well, I couldn't do much else, could I, sir?
00:24:31 She's, uh-- she's with the United Nations.
00:24:34 And, uh, well, we're supposed to keep in with them.
00:24:36 [SNORING]
00:24:38 Well, they are on our side, aren't they?
00:24:43 I-- I came out as a secretary with a team
00:24:45 of United Nations observers.
00:24:47 And I-- I stayed on for a little holiday.
00:24:49 Yes, well, we'll, uh, talk about that later.
00:24:55 If you'd like a-- a clean up.
00:24:57 Yes, please.
00:24:58 Then we'll see what we can arrange.
00:25:00 Ben?
00:25:02 Ben!
00:25:03 Here, show her the ablutions.
00:25:05 This way, miss.
00:25:11 Reg, will you stand fast?
00:25:14 When are you due for discharge?
00:25:16 Day after tomorrow.
00:25:17 Doesn't look as though you're going to make it, lad,
00:25:18 does it?
00:25:19 It's all highly irregular having a private soldier
00:25:21 in the sergeant's mess.
00:25:23 You better keep down in the ration store through there.
00:25:27 Yes, sir.
00:25:28 Wilkes!
00:25:32 Sir?
00:25:32 Hang on to your card, lad.
00:25:34 Never move without your B2601.
00:25:35 Chin up, chin up!
00:25:38 Now, understand this, Wilkes.
00:25:41 I can always stomach a good soldier, whatever his faults.
00:25:44 What I can't stomach are Bolsheviks, Skivers,
00:25:46 Skrimshankers, and Boghouse baddisters.
00:25:49 I've broken more of them than you've had eggs for breakfast.
00:25:53 If I take a liking to you, lad, I'll be
00:25:56 your good friend and counselor.
00:25:58 If you offend me, I'll pull out your sausage-like intestines,
00:26:03 hang them round your neck, and prick them every so often
00:26:06 like they do real sausages.
00:26:07 Good evening.
00:26:08 Evening, ma'am.
00:26:13 Regimental Sergeant Major Lord Odell.
00:26:15 You're Miss Marker-Wise.
00:26:16 I do hope I'm not interrupting anything.
00:26:19 No, ma'am.
00:26:20 We're just having a discussion on discipline.
00:26:24 May I introduce Sergeant Preeto?
00:26:25 How do you do?
00:26:26 Sergeant Brown, Sergeant Drake, Sergeant Dunn,
00:26:28 Colonel Sergeant Smith.
00:26:29 How do you do?
00:26:30 And this is--
00:26:31 these are me.
00:26:33 Private Wilkes.
00:26:34 How do you do?
00:26:35 Take your cap off.
00:26:36 Won't you sit down, ma'am?
00:26:37 Thank you.
00:26:38 What about a noggin?
00:26:39 May I have a whiskey?
00:26:41 Go for that, Wilkes.
00:26:42 Large whiskey.
00:26:43 What about you, Wilkes?
00:26:44 Well, that's very kind of you, sir.
00:26:45 I'll, uh-- I'll have a large whiskey too, please.
00:26:50 And the usual, orders corporal.
00:26:51 Sir, come on, lads.
00:26:52 Come on.
00:26:53 Quite informal.
00:26:54 Well, this is the first time we've
00:26:55 had the honor of entertaining ladies in this mess.
00:26:58 Ladies?
00:26:59 Yes, come on, lads.
00:27:00 Sit down, sit down.
00:27:01 Yes, there'll be another one out in a minute.
00:27:02 Typist got stranded at the airport.
00:27:04 This is quite an occasion.
00:27:06 Indeed.
00:27:07 Well, it's an occasion for me, too.
00:27:08 It's not often one gets the chance
00:27:10 of seeing things for oneself, especially
00:27:12 the new African army.
00:27:14 Perhaps after dinner we could all sit round,
00:27:16 and I'll fire questions at you.
00:27:19 Yes, well, as long as we don't come up
00:27:21 against the official secret act, of course.
00:27:23 Oh, I don't think we shall do that.
00:27:25 No, what I'm most interested in is how you get along
00:27:28 with your African colleagues.
00:27:30 How soon they'll be ready to take over completely,
00:27:32 you know, that sort of thing.
00:27:34 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:27:37 Come in.
00:27:52 Everybody, ready for runs.
00:28:02 What the--
00:28:03 Captain Abram, you are under arrest
00:28:11 in the name of the new government.
00:28:13 Ah, now, he's got it.
00:28:15 Discipline.
00:28:16 You can't run anything without discipline from an army
00:28:18 down to a coffee stall.
00:28:20 That's the trouble with the world today, isn't it, Ben?
00:28:22 They don't know the meaning of the word.
00:28:24 When the first church parade I was ever on, I fainted.
00:28:26 Dropped a old slap in front of General Ironhead.
00:28:28 What does the general do?
00:28:29 Has me charged with leaving the appointed place of parade
00:28:31 without permission.
00:28:32 Section 40 of the Army Act.
00:28:34 I never fainted again.
00:28:35 [CHUCKLING]
00:28:38 Well, now they've abolished church parade,
00:28:40 the general must feel quite frustrated.
00:28:43 Oh, he's dead.
00:28:45 Got blown off the seawall at Ramsgate in a gale.
00:28:47 Broke his neck.
00:28:48 Very sad.
00:28:48 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:28:52 [BIRDS CHIRPING]
00:28:55 It's a bit cooler out here, isn't it?
00:29:17 Hm.
00:29:18 You going over that taxi ride yet?
00:29:20 Just about.
00:29:21 But I'm glad you were with me.
00:29:24 I couldn't have done much if they got the door open,
00:29:26 except--
00:29:27 except bark at them.
00:29:28 They were very angry, weren't they?
00:29:31 Yeah.
00:29:33 Laughing their heads off the next minute.
00:29:35 I take it, Sergeant Major, that you do not
00:29:37 believe that all men are equal.
00:29:40 Equal may I am, but different.
00:29:42 Now, you take the Orson Zebra.
00:29:48 They're equal in a manner of speaking.
00:29:51 But if you was to plonk them down side by side,
00:29:54 feed them on the same grub in the same climate,
00:29:58 one of them would turn his toes up, wouldn't he, ma'am?
00:30:00 But there are thousands of Africans
00:30:02 living in our climate, eating our food,
00:30:04 and they don't turn their toes up.
00:30:06 My group entertains dozens of them every weekend.
00:30:09 Like your own Lieutenant Boniface has been
00:30:11 to my house on many occasions.
00:30:13 And you'd hardly suggest he was incapable of inventing
00:30:16 the wheel.
00:30:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:30:21 [HORN HONKING]
00:30:24 No one is allowed to leave the confines of the mess.
00:30:32 Is that understood?
00:30:34 Who the hell are you to issue orders?
00:30:36 I have an armed platoon surrounding the building.
00:30:38 I don't have to remind you of the penalty
00:30:39 for armed mutiny, Mr. Boniface.
00:30:42 No, you don't.
00:30:44 But this isn't mutiny.
00:30:46 Let us call it a change of structure.
00:30:48 You can call it what you like.
00:30:51 I advise you to go back to your party
00:30:53 and await further orders.
00:30:54 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:30:58 What do you think?
00:31:06 Get on the sounds, Matt.
00:31:07 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:31:10 [LAUGHTER]
00:31:16 [GUNSHOTS]
00:31:19 Hello.
00:31:26 Line's dead.
00:31:29 He's got us.
00:31:30 I've a gun in the place, an arm cord and all around,
00:31:33 and a dozen nurses on our hands.
00:31:35 He might keep us here for days.
00:31:37 Now, that's a thought.
00:31:38 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:31:42 Young Mulsi, this one, ma'am.
00:31:45 Lives on milk and bull's blood.
00:31:46 Damn good fighter.
00:31:47 This chap, he comes from the northern district,
00:31:49 one of the Turkana chiefs.
00:31:50 Well, the--
00:31:51 [GUNSHOT]
00:31:53 Yes, well, time for dinner.
00:31:55 Roger, tell the bugler to sound the mascot.
00:31:58 Sir.
00:31:59 That's a good one, Wilkie.
00:32:03 What's his name?
00:32:05 It's Archie, our company mascot.
00:32:08 Go on, make him talk.
00:32:10 [BARKING]
00:32:12 [LAUGHTER]
00:32:13 I don't wish to interrupt the entertainment, Wilkie,
00:32:17 but you haven't seen a bugler anywhere, have you?
00:32:21 A what?
00:32:22 A bugler, Wilkie, you know, a man that plays the bugle.
00:32:25 There's been no one here but Wilkie, Private Wilkes,
00:32:27 and myself, Sergeant.
00:32:30 Right.
00:32:31 Well, thank you, miss.
00:32:32 Thank you.
00:32:33 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:32:35 That private's going to get there first,
00:32:39 if somebody doesn't watch it.
00:32:41 The bugler hasn't reported, sir.
00:32:43 Hasn't reported?
00:32:45 Put him on company orders in the morning.
00:32:46 Yes, sir.
00:32:48 Ah, Private Wilkes, you don't, amongst your many
00:32:50 other accomplishments, happen to play the bugle, do you?
00:32:54 No, sir.
00:32:55 No.
00:32:56 I'm pretty good in the harmonica, though.
00:32:57 You having me on?
00:33:02 No, sir.
00:33:06 The prestige of the British Army's
00:33:07 taken a bit of a paste in in the last few years,
00:33:10 but it's not going to think to having its bugle calls played
00:33:12 on a spindle track.
00:33:13 Still, we can't go into dinner without a missed call.
00:33:18 - Marshall. - Sir.
00:33:24 Put on that record, bugle calls of the British Army.
00:33:26 It's got the missed call on that.
00:33:27 Well, there's a lot of others.
00:33:28 First, Sir Jenker's, last post, and--
00:33:30 Never mind. Never mind.
00:33:30 Shove it on.
00:33:31 Sir.
00:33:32 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:33:35 My handbag.
00:33:36 Marvelous, isn't it?
00:33:40 The privates get the crumpet, the officers get it.
00:33:44 Look what we get.
00:33:45 Oh, I don't know.
00:33:50 She's looking better every minute.
00:33:52 [BIRDS CHIRPING]
00:33:55 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:33:57 Nothing to be ashamed of, muscles.
00:33:58 Turn it up so people can hear it.
00:33:59 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:06 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:10 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:13 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:20 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:24 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:27 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:31 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:34 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:38 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:34:40 Sergeant Major, take these men to the guard room.
00:34:42 Sir.
00:34:43 Keep them under double guard.
00:34:44 Tomorrow, they'll be taken to Bartosian charge.
00:34:46 Charged with what, Mr. Butterfis?
00:34:48 Treason.
00:34:49 Against the new people's government.
00:34:50 Sergeant.
00:34:51 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:34:55 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:34:58 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:01 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:05 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:08 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:12 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:15 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:19 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:20 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
00:35:21 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:25 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:28 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:32 [SCREAMING]
00:35:35 [SCREAMING]
00:35:38 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:41 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:45 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:48 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:35:50 [GUNSHOTS]
00:35:52 [GUNSHOTS]
00:35:56 [GUNSHOTS]
00:35:58 [SCREAMING]
00:36:01 [BIRDS CHIRPING]
00:36:05 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:36:08 [GROANING]
00:36:11 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:36:39 [LAUGHTER]
00:36:42 [GUNSHOTS]
00:36:49 [BIRDS CHIRPING]
00:36:52 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:36:56 [GROANING]
00:36:59 Everybody got a little something in their glass?
00:37:01 Yes, Sergeant.
00:37:02 Good.
00:37:05 Well, now, this is a very special occasion, you know.
00:37:10 Sit still!
00:37:13 Down, sit down.
00:37:14 What's going on out there, Sergeant Major?
00:37:23 Night firing exercise on the range, ma'am.
00:37:30 Well, as I was saying, this is a very special occasion.
00:37:36 This is the first time, I think, that we've
00:37:37 had the company of ladies in the mess on the occasion
00:37:41 of Her Majesty's birthday.
00:37:42 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:37:45 [DOG BARKING]
00:37:48 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:37:51 Yes, well, we mustn't let the talking interfere with eating,
00:37:54 as they say.
00:37:55 But before we get down to it, as
00:38:00 president of this mess, it falls to me
00:38:02 to have the honor to propose the loyal toast.
00:38:05 Therefore, if your glasses are charged,
00:38:08 perhaps you'd all care to be upstanding.
00:38:11 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:38:15 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Her Majesty--
00:38:19 [GUNSHOTS]
00:38:22 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:38:26 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:38:29 [GUNSHOTS]
00:38:32 Do what you can for him, Ben.
00:38:33 Right.
00:38:34 Give him a hand, Muscles.
00:38:35 Schooling, first aid kit.
00:38:36 Sir.
00:38:37 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:38:40 Abu, you and your boys are out of sight, Steve.
00:38:42 Come along, Ned, come along.
00:38:45 Dig up.
00:38:48 Don't you with them, lads.
00:38:49 Sir.
00:38:49 See if it's clear out the back.
00:38:51 Can I help, Sergeant Major?
00:38:52 I've had training.
00:38:52 Thank you, ma'am.
00:38:53 Thank you very much.
00:38:54 Dodger, those rights in there.
00:38:55 Sir.
00:38:58 Wilkes.
00:38:58 Sir.
00:38:59 Get your rifle.
00:39:02 Got a pair of glasses in my kit bag.
00:39:03 Right, get them.
00:39:04 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:39:10 Good, follow me.
00:39:11 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:39:14 [GUNSHOT]
00:39:16 [SCREAMS]
00:39:20 Mm.
00:39:20 [WATER FLOWING]
00:39:25 Can't recognize the bastards.
00:39:26 [DOOR CREAKING]
00:39:31 Don't make the way it came.
00:39:32 Probably the company HQ.
00:39:33 [DOOR CREAKING]
00:39:40 All right, Wilkes, you stay out here.
00:39:42 If you see anything moving, yell.
00:39:44 You don't have to be polite and wait for me to stop speaking.
00:39:47 Yell.
00:39:49 Right, sir.
00:39:52 Dodger, your truck still out the back?
00:39:53 Yes, sir.
00:39:54 Get away from that window.
00:39:55 Get it started, quiet as you can.
00:39:58 What's going on out there, sir?
00:39:59 Did you spot anything, sir?
00:40:00 See anything out the back, Digger?
00:40:01 No, sir, nothing.
00:40:02 Hello?
00:40:02 He's pretty rough.
00:40:03 Hello?
00:40:04 Say who did it?
00:40:05 Not a Diggie bird, still unconscious.
00:40:07 [GUNSHOT]
00:40:14 Mutiny, Ben.
00:40:17 It's like the Loch Ness Monster.
00:40:19 Heard of it, but never actually run across it.
00:40:21 What are you going to do, sir?
00:40:23 Well, before I do anything, we're going
00:40:26 to get a hold of some weapons.
00:40:27 How are we going to do that?
00:40:29 Drive up to the arms store and draw 'em.
00:40:31 Just like that?
00:40:32 Just like that.
00:40:33 Bluff it out.
00:40:34 Uh, truck's started up, sir, but I don't understand--
00:40:36 You don't have to understand.
00:40:37 You have to drive.
00:40:38 How are we off the spud bags, Ben?
00:40:39 Plenty in the store room.
00:40:40 Take 'em out to the sand bunker and get 'em filled.
00:40:42 Schoolie will give you a hand.
00:40:43 Drive to Wilkes.
00:40:44 Oh, Ben, before you go, I'll need your keys.
00:40:46 Muscles, Digger, you're coming with me.
00:40:47 Sir, trust me.
00:40:48 Now they lay 'em.
00:40:49 Keep your eyes skinned.
00:40:50 You're on your own for a bit.
00:40:53 Yes, sir.
00:40:54 I suppose you know how to use that thing.
00:40:56 Well, I know how to use it, but I never
00:40:58 get far one in anger, as they say.
00:41:01 God, what alarm.
00:41:04 You're with me, lads.
00:41:05 Watch out.
00:41:06 Get in the sack.
00:41:09 We're not building sand castles.
00:41:10 Come on.
00:41:13 Come on, get a move on.
00:41:14 We'll be here all bloody night with you.
00:41:16 Oh, give us that before you rupture yourself.
00:41:20 I'll shovel and you grunt.
00:41:21 [ENGINE STARTS]
00:41:23 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
00:41:36 [ENGINE STARTS]
00:41:43 [ENGINE STARTS]
00:41:44 Slow down, Roger.
00:41:48 Come on, get out of the way.
00:42:00 You've seen my face before.
00:42:01 Lieutenant Boniface said no.
00:42:06 Come on, come on.
00:42:09 Right.
00:42:11 [ENGINE STARTS]
00:42:12 Hmm, that was Corporal Matimba.
00:42:17 Never make a sergeant.
00:42:18 No initiative.
00:42:19 [DOG WHINING]
00:42:25 [ENGINE STARTS]
00:42:38 [ENGINE STARTS]
00:42:39 Halt!
00:42:43 Who goes there?
00:42:46 Free.
00:42:47 Open up, digger.
00:42:48 Take your thumb off the bolt, private Juma.
00:42:50 How many times have I told you, right standard east lead.
00:42:53 You cannot go in there, sir.
00:42:55 Lieutenant Boniface gave me orders.
00:42:56 Here.
00:42:57 Let's have a look at that.
00:42:58 Aye, Sargini.
00:42:59 Doesn't look clean to me.
00:43:00 You hold this bolt.
00:43:01 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
00:43:02 You'll have to do better than that, Juma.
00:43:08 [DOG WHINING]
00:43:09 Corporal Matimba!
00:43:14 Brents, first digger, three of them.
00:43:20 Hustle, see to the ammo.
00:43:21 Sir.
00:43:22 Keys.
00:43:24 Digger, burnings.
00:43:26 Digger, magazine.
00:43:29 Roger.
00:43:30 You want?
00:43:34 [RATTLING]
00:43:35 [DOG WHINING]
00:43:47 [RATTLING]
00:43:48 Quiet a minute.
00:44:04 Right, you two carry on.
00:44:08 I'll lock up after you.
00:44:09 [RATTLING]
00:44:10 Watch your back.
00:44:36 Watch your back.
00:44:37 Corporal Matimba!
00:44:41 Come any closer, you'll get brambles up your pipe.
00:44:45 Right, let's get back.
00:45:05 [DOG WHINING]
00:45:06 Oh, that.
00:45:14 The old man missed the siege of Tobruk.
00:45:15 That's his trouble.
00:45:18 Don't hang around doing nothing, lads.
00:45:20 Get those bags onto the verandah and start
00:45:21 setting up some firing posts.
00:45:22 This isn't a penitentiarity camp, you know.
00:45:24 Right, get a wiggle on.
00:45:27 Come on, come on.
00:45:33 Here they are.
00:45:36 Stay with him, will you, Miss Erickson?
00:45:38 Yes, of course.
00:45:39 Don't strain yourself.
00:45:42 Oh, so you're back.
00:45:44 Get these guns cleaned, lads.
00:45:45 Dodger, I want that one first.
00:45:47 Muscles, get the grenades out of the truck.
00:45:49 Sir.
00:45:50 Now, ma'am.
00:45:51 Health care grenade, ma'am.
00:45:52 I demand to know what's going on.
00:45:53 What exactly are you doing?
00:45:55 Well, at this precise moment, ma'am,
00:45:56 I'm charging an SMG magazine.
00:45:58 Has it occurred to you that the rebels,
00:46:00 or whatever you choose to call them,
00:46:01 were leaving us alone because we were unarmed?
00:46:04 That what you were doing can only provoke more bloodshed?
00:46:07 Well, that's a matter of opinion.
00:46:09 I'm surprised at you, ma'am.
00:46:10 I thought you believed in all men being equal.
00:46:12 Of course I do.
00:46:13 That's exactly the point.
00:46:15 Well, they had guns and we didn't.
00:46:18 That wasn't very equal, was it?
00:46:19 Sir.
00:46:20 Private Wilkes.
00:46:21 Sir.
00:46:22 Put this safety catch on next time, Dodger.
00:46:23 Know what this is?
00:46:24 Yes, sir.
00:46:25 It's a Sterling SMG.
00:46:26 I've even fired one.
00:46:27 Well, that doesn't make you unique.
00:46:28 Everyone in this room's fired one,
00:46:29 except Miss Barker-Wise, of course.
00:46:30 Take it and get back on guard.
00:46:31 There must be some way to stop this madness.
00:46:33 Why don't you at least make an attempt
00:46:35 to contact the other side?
00:46:36 I've already done that, ma'am.
00:46:38 You have?
00:46:39 Give me another box of 9mm.
00:46:40 No, no, didn't you tell me what happened?
00:46:41 What's the matter with that?
00:46:42 This barrel's in a hell of a state.
00:46:43 Have a look.
00:46:44 Give it another pull through and take a chance.
00:46:47 Will you tell me what happened?
00:46:49 Nothing much, ma'am.
00:46:50 We ran into Lieutenant Boniface's party
00:46:52 down the ammo dump.
00:46:53 Bonnie, is he in charge?
00:46:55 Rust!
00:46:56 I'll have somebody on a fizzer when this lot's over.
00:46:58 Dodger?
00:46:59 Is Lieutenant Boniface in charge?
00:47:01 Well, he gave me that impression, ma'am, yes.
00:47:03 Thank God, thank God.
00:47:05 I wouldn't be too hasty about doing that.
00:47:07 Let me go and talk to him.
00:47:08 He's a civilized and cultured man.
00:47:10 He'll listen to me.
00:47:11 Please arrange the transfer.
00:47:12 You'll be safer here for the moment, ma'am.
00:47:14 Safer?
00:47:15 In the middle of this...
00:47:16 this gunpowder plot you're organizing?
00:47:19 Very well, I'll walk.
00:47:20 That's all. Stand by the door.
00:47:22 Do you intend to keep me here by force?
00:47:28 (GUNSHOT)
00:47:29 Now, listen to me, ma'am.
00:47:33 You're not in Parliament now.
00:47:35 This isn't England,
00:47:36 and I know more about these people than you do.
00:47:38 And don't run away with the idea that I've got a down on them
00:47:41 because their skin isn't the same color as mine.
00:47:43 Their best is as good as our best.
00:47:45 But their bad's as rough as ours,
00:47:47 and that's pretty rough.
00:47:48 Now, I'm responsible for your safety
00:47:50 while you're in this mess,
00:47:51 so while you're here, you'll obey my orders!
00:47:57 If you don't like it, you'll have to lump it.
00:47:59 This is intolerable.
00:48:00 I agree, ma'am.
00:48:01 But don't blame me.
00:48:02 Blame your harmless little Africans.
00:48:04 Blame them?
00:48:05 Who put guns into their hands?
00:48:06 Who taught them to shoot? You!
00:48:08 And if it wasn't for people like us,
00:48:09 you wouldn't be able to walk around
00:48:10 spouting your smarmy, silly, bloody, half-baked ideas!
00:48:14 That remark, Sergeant Major, may well cost you your rank.
00:48:19 Stay with her, Muscle, so she quietens down,
00:48:21 so she doesn't leave the mess.
00:48:22 (GRUNTS)
00:48:23 What a rotten old cat.
00:48:25 No wonder the officers dumped her onto us.
00:48:27 (CHUCKLES)
00:48:28 All those nurses up there,
00:48:29 I bet they don't mind being cooped up for a year.
00:48:32 As long as somebody can knit.
00:48:35 (CHUCKLES)
00:48:37 You must admit, the old bag's got guts.
00:48:39 I only hope to God she doesn't get to be Prime Minister.
00:48:43 (BABY CRYING)
00:48:47 (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
00:48:51 Muscle!
00:48:52 Colonel Deal.
00:48:53 Glad you've arrived.
00:48:55 Sir William's waiting to see you.
00:48:56 You're in for a long party tonight.
00:48:59 I'm afraid so.
00:49:00 The change of government can affect an awful lot of people.
00:49:03 Is it as close as that?
00:49:04 Yes, I think so.
00:49:06 (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
00:49:10 All right, keep me informed.
00:49:15 Hello, John.
00:49:17 Sir William.
00:49:18 -Tanny. -Hello, sir.
00:49:20 -Well, you made good time. -Oh, yes.
00:49:22 -Well, you made good time. -Well, it sounded serious.
00:49:24 Yes, it is.
00:49:25 Things have happened fast since I spoke to you.
00:49:27 -Whiskey? -Oh, fine. Thank you, sir.
00:49:30 To put it mildly, the position is, well, delicate.
00:49:34 I've just had the buzz that the President is on his way out of the country.
00:49:38 I'm taking his wives with him.
00:49:40 That'll leave the rebels a clear field.
00:49:42 I think we should get out of the habit of calling them rebels.
00:49:45 By the morning, they may well be the government.
00:49:47 That's fantastic. In less than 36 hours.
00:49:50 Yes, well, no doubt it was well prepared.
00:49:52 First, Harry Jobel is sort of that.
00:49:54 Seems to be no stopping him now.
00:49:56 (PHONE RINGS)
00:49:57 Oh, excuse me.
00:49:58 Yes?
00:50:01 When did you hear this?
00:50:03 All right. Ring me back.
00:50:06 The Afro-Britannia mines.
00:50:09 Huh.
00:50:10 The new boys have just taken over.
00:50:12 You know what that means?
00:50:14 The wealth of this country.
00:50:16 No, no. Harry Jobel is no fool.
00:50:19 Doesn't make sense.
00:50:21 Five years in jail and within six months of coming out,
00:50:24 he's on his way to the President's palace.
00:50:26 He spent that six months here as a gardener.
00:50:28 Got to know him pretty well.
00:50:30 Lousy gardener.
00:50:31 Hope he'll make a better President.
00:50:33 Anyway, going to jail is considered a shortcut to power these days.
00:50:36 I hope it never happens in the army.
00:50:38 (KNOCKING)
00:50:39 Come in.
00:50:40 A radio message from the airfield, sir.
00:50:43 Jobel's men are in control.
00:50:44 Any casualties?
00:50:45 -No, sir. -Good.
00:50:47 Get on to the camp, Tony. Is that all right, sir?
00:50:49 Yes, yes. Use this one.
00:50:51 I want to talk to Captain Ibrahim.
00:50:53 Get me Batasi camp, please.
00:50:56 What's going to happen?
00:50:59 In the future, I mean.
00:51:01 I should think that once the position is stabilized,
00:51:03 they'll want us to carry on as usual.
00:51:05 Jobel will need all the support and advice he can get
00:51:08 if he's going to fulfil some of those promises he's made.
00:51:11 The thing to do is to hang on,
00:51:13 and above all, keep our noses clean.
00:51:15 Excuse me, sir.
00:51:16 There's something wrong with the line to the camp.
00:51:18 They can't make contact.
00:51:19 Give me that.
00:51:22 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
00:51:24 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
00:51:26 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
00:51:28 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
00:51:30 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
00:51:36 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
00:51:55 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
00:51:57 Halt! Who goes there?
00:52:10 (YELLS)
00:52:11 Halt!
00:52:12 Sergeant Major?
00:52:14 I'm party. It doesn't matter.
00:52:20 Who goes there?
00:52:24 Lieutenant Boniface.
00:52:25 Advance, sir, unarmed and be recognized.
00:52:29 You two, come with me.
00:52:35 -Muscles. -Sir?
00:52:37 Go back and keep your eyes on Miss Barker-Wise.
00:52:40 See she doesn't come in till these people are gone.
00:52:42 -Understand? -Sir.
00:52:43 Good evening, Sergeant Major.
00:52:51 I hope this call isn't too inconvenient.
00:52:53 It's a pleasure, sir.
00:52:56 Let us hope it will remain one.
00:52:59 Indeed, sir.
00:53:02 Good evening, gentlemen.
00:53:08 -Evening, sir. -Evening, sir.
00:53:10 Now, sir.
00:53:15 Sergeant Major,
00:53:18 I've come to inform you that I've taken over command of the battalion from Captain Abram.
00:53:22 You'll therefore regard me as your commanding officer.
00:53:25 I've only got one CO, sir. That's Colonel Deal.
00:53:31 As far as I'm concerned, Captain Abram is in temporary command of the battalion.
00:53:35 As far as I'm concerned, Captain Abram is a traitor.
00:53:37 And anyway, he's dead.
00:53:39 I'll believe that when I see it in casualty return.
00:53:42 In the meantime, sir,
00:53:44 will you please remove your headdress while in the sergeant's mess and request your escort to do the same?
00:53:48 Leave them on.
00:53:49 Sergeant Major, I'm not interested in points of etiquette at the moment.
00:53:54 Mr. Boniface!
00:53:55 I've been a member of this mess for 23 years, sir.
00:53:59 In all that time, I've never seen anybody, man, woman or child,
00:54:03 sergeant, one and other, a field marshal or prime minister,
00:54:06 walk into this mess with his hands upon his head!
00:54:13 I do not see you now, sir.
00:54:15 All right.
00:54:19 If it worries you.
00:54:21 Now, sir,
00:54:33 can I be of service?
00:54:36 I wish you to understand, Sergeant Major,
00:54:39 that I will give you protection if you cooperate with me.
00:54:42 Your future in my country is very limited, you must appreciate.
00:54:45 Limited, did you say, sir?
00:54:48 That's a very elastic word.
00:54:50 No doubt you'll be sent back to your own country in due course.
00:54:52 At this very moment, the new president is considering the matter.
00:54:55 And where do you come in, Mr. Boniface?
00:54:58 You was a loyal officer, sir. Where do you come in?
00:55:00 Loyal to whom?
00:55:01 To the corrupt lackeys your government left to lead us
00:55:04 when they granted us our so-called independence?
00:55:09 So you consider that soldiers should not be revolutionaries?
00:55:12 Your Cromwell was a soldier, wasn't he?
00:55:15 Did he not grab Ireland, Sergeant Major?
00:55:18 Well, you know, sir, it was only for their own good.
00:55:23 The mix have always been obstinate, sir, very obstinate.
00:55:26 As for myself, I'm a soldier.
00:55:30 I don't understand politics.
00:55:31 Well, I do understand them, Sergeant Major.
00:55:33 And for my political education, I'm obliged to one of your compatriots.
00:55:37 Miss Barker-Wise.
00:55:38 However, I did not come here to discuss politics.
00:55:41 I've come to tell you all that you must remain here
00:55:44 until I receive further instructions from the new government.
00:55:47 My men will surround the mess and they will shoot anyone who tries to leave.
00:55:51 In the meantime, I am taking possession of the camp in the name of the new republic.
00:55:56 Sergeant Major, you will deliver to me all your arms and ammunition.
00:56:02 And I will be responsible for your safety.
00:56:04 Is that understood?
00:56:06 Also, I shall withdraw your servants who will be required to carry arms.
00:56:09 Corporal Abel, Private Daniel.
00:56:12 You will collect all the mess silver and your kit and report to me in the orderly room.
00:56:26 Do you hear me?
00:56:35 Yes, sir.
00:56:36 Yes, sir.
00:56:39 Yes, sir.
00:56:40 [footsteps]
00:56:42 [footsteps]
00:56:44 [footsteps]
00:57:13 Now, Sergeant Major.
00:57:14 If you leave all your weapons on the veranda, I will send a squad of men to collect them.
00:57:19 I will inform you of any later developments.
00:57:22 Just one moment, sir!
00:57:23 If you please.
00:57:25 Well?
00:57:28 Now you listen to me, Mr. Barney, first.
00:57:33 I'm a professional soldier, born across the road from Wellington Barracks.
00:57:37 I enlisted when I was 17.
00:57:40 By the time I was 24, I was a sergeant serving on the northwest frontier of India.
00:57:43 Sometimes, Mr. Barney, first, I'd lay awake in my tent with a hurricane lamp.
00:57:47 Sometimes in the middle of a blizzard, reading about the exploits of other British soldiers.
00:57:52 Sometimes I'd be lying there in my freezing cold tent, actually sweating.
00:57:57 Beads of sweat pouring down my face from a battle 200 years old.
00:58:01 And later on, I had a little active service of my own to take notice of.
00:58:05 Now, what I'm coming to, sir, is this.
00:58:09 All this experience of warfare, imaginary and otherwise,
00:58:12 gives me a certain amount of experience to face this little misunderstanding with a certain amount of song.
00:58:16 Fly!
00:58:18 It's a fly on the wall, sir, a fight with a feather!
00:58:21 - Silly! - No, I refuse to listen!
00:58:22 As far as the weapons are concerned,
00:58:24 I was ordered by my CO to keep them to swap flies with.
00:58:29 And until I get further instructions from the same source, I intend to hang on to them.
00:58:34 - Now, look here, sir, I didn't... - Will you please listen to me?
00:58:36 You seem to have gained control of this battalion by an act of mutiny.
00:58:41 Very well!
00:58:42 You're entitled to the mess, servants, because they're your countrymen, not mine.
00:58:47 You're entitled to the mess property, because it stands on your soil.
00:58:52 But if you think for one moment that I'm going to hand over the lives of these people
00:58:58 to the custody of a half-cooked, jumped-up, sad little black bald body of life,
00:59:05 you're very much mistaken!
00:59:07 Do I make myself clear?
00:59:10 Absolutely clear, Sergeant Major.
00:59:16 I always knew that one would turn out to be a savvy boy.
00:59:28 Well, that fixed him for a bit.
00:59:32 Provided the servants don't tell him we've got Abraham.
00:59:35 Abu won't. Abu's the same tribe as Abraham.
00:59:38 Boniface comes from the coast.
00:59:41 Abu's people look on all the coastal tribes as several grades lower than Bushrat.
00:59:46 Let's hope you're right.
00:59:48 Sergeant Major, what right has this man to keep me confined to that room?
00:59:55 My authority, ma'am.
00:59:58 Am I under arrest, then?
00:59:59 Not yet, ma'am. Not yet.
01:00:02 Sergeant Major, I can end this ridiculous nonsense in five minutes
01:00:07 and get Captain Abraham to hospital.
01:00:09 I implore you, please send me to Boniface.
01:00:12 No, ma'am. And for a very good reason.
01:00:16 It'd be a waste of time. He's already been to see us.
01:00:19 That boy? You mean he's been here?
01:00:22 He left a few moments ago.
01:00:25 He wanted to tell me that he'd seized control of the battalion by mutiny
01:00:28 and that if we'd all be good little boys and girls,
01:00:31 he'd see we didn't come to any harm.
01:00:33 I sent him off with a flee in his ear.
01:00:35 You did what, you bloody fool? Why didn't you let me talk to him?
01:00:38 I know Boniface like my own son.
01:00:41 Did you tell him about Captain Abraham?
01:00:43 - I did not. - Why?
01:00:45 If you'll excuse me, ma'am, I've got to get on with battalion orders.
01:00:48 If he doesn't get a doctor, he'll die.
01:00:50 We've all got to die sometime, ma'am.
01:00:53 If I handed him over to your little pal Boniface,
01:00:55 he wouldn't stand a hope in hell.
01:00:57 Nonsense. He's a very humane man.
01:00:59 These principles are very sound.
01:01:01 They've all got a bullet up the spout.
01:01:03 Let me tell you this.
01:01:05 Your stupidity is placing all our lives in danger.
01:01:08 When you talk of principles with a bullet up the spout,
01:01:11 that's a perfect example of your own mentality.
01:01:13 You're a living gun.
01:01:15 They've turned you into a human rifle.
01:01:17 They've taken away your personality, Sergeant Major,
01:01:20 bit by bit down the years.
01:01:22 And replaced it with a sort of military stuffing.
01:01:24 Left, right, about, turn, obey, fight, kill.
01:01:27 - Don't be impudent, ma'am. - That's all you know.
01:01:30 You're an instrument, ready primed to put to someone's shoulder
01:01:34 a royal trigger in waiting.
01:01:36 Yes, and just you be careful, ma'am, that I don't go off.
01:01:39 What's your life?
01:01:41 A dull routine round a bootlicking, waiting for a war.
01:01:45 The only way you'll ever fulfil yourself is to die in action.
01:01:50 What are you huddling about there for like a brood of wet hens?
01:01:52 Wilkes, get back on guard.
01:01:54 Scully, get that ammo stone away.
01:01:56 Miss Erickson.
01:01:59 - You cook? - Oh, yes.
01:02:02 I'd expect the dinner's spoiled by now,
01:02:04 but perhaps you do what you can.
01:02:06 Yes, sir.
01:02:08 Muscles, dig up.
01:02:10 Get that table tidied up.
01:02:12 - Yes, sir. - And you, Miss Erickson,
01:02:14 get the table tidied up.
01:02:17 Get that table tidied up.
01:02:18 It's the Queen's birthday.
01:02:20 And even if we have to have paraffin and brick dust sandwiches,
01:02:23 we're going to celebrate it.
01:02:25 With or without our distinguished guest.
01:02:28 Dodger, don't stand there like a spare wick at a wedding.
01:02:34 - Get me a drink. - Sir.
01:02:38 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:02:40 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:02:42 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:02:43 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:02:55 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:02:56 (TIRES SCREECHING)
01:03:16 (TIRES SCREECHING)
01:03:20 (TIRES SCREECHING)
01:03:21 What the hell do you think you're doing?
01:03:49 Now just do what you're told and you'll have nothing to worry about.
01:03:52 Throw down your revolvers, both of you.
01:03:55 Oh, no. By what authority?
01:03:58 The authority of the new government.
01:04:00 Now, you listen to me.
01:04:04 This revolver is staying where it is
01:04:08 until I see some signed order from a legal member of your government.
01:04:15 (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
01:04:16 All right, Colonel. Now get moving.
01:04:25 Meanwhile, you might get your men to change that wheel.
01:04:33 (PEOPLE CHATTERING)
01:04:38 (PEOPLE CHATTERING)
01:04:39 -Colonel Wilkes! -Sir?
01:05:02 You better hear this.
01:05:04 I've drawn up guard detail and battalion orders for tomorrow.
01:05:08 Right, now about the sleeping arrangements.
01:05:10 Miss Erickson will go in your room, Dodger.
01:05:12 You go in with Digger.
01:05:14 First time I get a bird in my room, I'm posted absent.
01:05:17 Ben, Miss Barker-Wise will be in your little nest
01:05:20 and you can go in with Muscles.
01:05:22 That's a happy release.
01:05:23 Schoolie, you stand fast and I'll be in here.
01:05:25 Now, you'll all sleep fully clothed and that includes boots.
01:05:28 If anything does happen, I don't want anybody to get a burst up the backside
01:05:32 when you're bending down looking for your perishing boots.
01:05:35 Provide you with the usual time, no 600 hours,
01:05:37 the last men on guard can have a nice long name till half past.
01:05:40 Right.
01:05:42 Ben, as soon as you change over your kit, you relieve Wilkes.
01:05:44 Can you all?
01:05:45 Come on, darling, let's go to camp.
01:05:49 -Yeah. -All right.
01:05:51 Come on.
01:05:52 Come on.
01:05:54 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:05:56 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
01:05:58 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
01:05:59 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
01:06:02 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:06:10 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
01:06:19 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:06:21 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
01:06:47 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:06:49 I suppose you realise that this is strictly against Queen's regulations.
01:07:00 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:07:07 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:07:09 (SNORING)
01:07:24 Better be getting back in.
01:07:33 Ben.
01:07:34 Um...
01:07:36 You know what you want to do if it gets too hot in your bedroom?
01:07:42 No. What?
01:07:44 Just...
01:07:48 Just leave your window open.
01:08:01 (SNORING)
01:08:02 All right, all right, all right, Wilkes. I'm relieving you.
01:08:20 I've put a pallet ash in the ration store, so you'd better go and get some kip.
01:08:23 Well, I... I think I'll just take a stroll before I turn in.
01:08:27 What? Take a stroll?
01:08:29 I mean, you've been strolling up and down here for two hours.
01:08:31 What's the matter with you?
01:08:32 Insomnia.
01:08:34 What?
01:08:35 Chronic insomnia.
01:08:36 Now, wait, wait, wait a minute. You want to see a quack about that, you know.
01:08:39 You might get rings under your eyes.
01:08:41 Good night.
01:08:43 Good night.
01:08:45 Good night.
01:08:47 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:08:53 (FOOTSTEPS)
01:08:54 You crafty basket weaver.
01:09:03 Who is it?
01:09:07 It's all right. It's only your blind Uncle Charlie.
01:09:13 Hello, Wilkie.
01:09:15 Hello.
01:09:16 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:09:18 Now, wait a minute.
01:09:37 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:09:39 (DOOR SLAMS)
01:10:05 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:10:07 (BIRDS CHIRPING)
01:10:28 (CAT MEOWS)
01:10:29 (FOOTSTEPS)
01:10:33 (FOOTSTEPS)
01:10:34 -Scooby. -Huh?
01:10:45 (CLEARS THROAT)
01:10:48 All quiet, Scooby?
01:10:49 Quiet as the proverbial grave, sir.
01:10:51 Yes, never mind the proverbs. I didn't get my rank on a proverb.
01:10:55 -No, sir. -Unless it's God helps them that help themselves.
01:10:58 Miss Barker-Wise?
01:11:00 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:11:02 (FOOTSTEPS)
01:11:22 Will you please tell these men to take their hands off me?
01:11:26 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
01:11:28 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
01:11:29 You must forgive them. I gave orders no one was to leave the mess.
01:11:34 Please, sit down.
01:11:36 Thank you, Bonnie.
01:11:38 I had to come and see you.
01:11:40 -What about, ma'am? -Captain Abraham.
01:11:43 Captain Abraham?
01:11:46 He arrived at the mess last night. He'd been wounded.
01:11:49 Perhaps it was an accident. I don't know.
01:11:51 But he must have immediate medical attention.
01:11:56 That's no problem. I'll see that he's removed immediately.
01:11:58 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
01:12:03 There.
01:12:09 That's settled.
01:12:11 Thank you, Bonnie. I knew it was only a matter of common sense and reason.
01:12:15 Now, if you'll give me an escort,
01:12:18 I'll go and see that Captain Abraham is ready for the ambulance.
01:12:20 I'm afraid I can't allow that. I must ask you to stay here.
01:12:23 Asghari!
01:12:25 I don't understand.
01:12:26 Squad, halt!
01:12:31 Is that how you're going to fetch Captain Abraham?
01:12:38 If necessary.
01:12:40 What's going to happen to him?
01:12:42 He'll be charged with treason. If he's found guilty, he'll be shot.
01:12:45 But what has he done?
01:12:47 He's known to have opposed the National Unity Party.
01:12:49 Is that all?
01:12:53 I forgot you're a member of Parliament.
01:12:55 Well, we do things a little differently here. Perhaps we're in more of a hurry.
01:12:58 But, Bonnie, I...
01:13:00 I don't understand. You...
01:13:03 When you were in England, you were...
01:13:06 So different.
01:13:08 Yes, I was one of your African mascots then, wasn't I?
01:13:11 Sitting at your feet, listening to you talk.
01:13:13 My God, how you talked.
01:13:15 No one talks better than the British. They drug you with talk.
01:13:18 When you wake up, they still have their heel on your neck.
01:13:22 I feel excused.
01:13:23 But, Bonnie!
01:13:25 Now, you just listen to me, the lot of you.
01:13:28 I won't do a gross piece of negligence to bark a wise woman who's escaped from the mess.
01:13:32 I don't blame one man any more than the rest.
01:13:34 You've all been walking around in your sleep, so watch it!
01:13:37 Keep your eyes rolling and your minds ticking.
01:13:40 And be sure to check your guns.
01:13:42 Excuse me, sir.
01:13:44 Very well, dismissed. Now, what do you want?
01:13:48 Mr Boniface is here, sir. With an armed party.
01:13:51 Come on, come on.
01:13:52 Come on, come. No muscle, come.
01:13:54 He's coming in on his jack.
01:13:58 Don't hang around the windows. Disperse yourselves around the room.
01:14:02 Dig a muscle. On the other side.
01:14:04 Good morning, gentlemen.
01:14:13 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:14:14 Sergeant Major, I'll come quickly to the purpose of this visit.
01:14:26 I understand from my friend Miss Barker-Wise that she's been kept here under duress.
01:14:30 For her own safety, sir.
01:14:32 And I'd be obliged if you'd have her restored to my custody.
01:14:35 She insisted on returning to Batasi, Sergeant Major.
01:14:38 (GLASS SHATTERING)
01:14:39 There is something more important for us to discuss.
01:14:46 You have here a wounded officer. Captain Abram, not so?
01:14:52 Miss Barker-Wise informs me that this is so.
01:14:55 Well, she must have been mistaken.
01:14:58 Women of her intelligence do not make such mistakes!
01:15:00 I understand that Captain Abram is badly in need of medical treatment.
01:15:06 If you'll hand him over to my custody, I'll see that he...
01:15:08 (GLASS SHATTERING)
01:15:09 There is no officer of that name here.
01:15:15 Now, don't waste my time!
01:15:17 I insist that you hand over Captain Abram.
01:15:19 He's required to answer for crimes against the new republic.
01:15:22 That's his hardship, not mine.
01:15:24 Or being very stupid.
01:15:26 The affair of Captain Abram is the affair of government.
01:15:29 You will hand him over at once!
01:15:31 Mr. Boniface,
01:15:34 suppose for the sake of argument Captain Abram was wounded
01:15:36 and had come to me for protection.
01:15:38 In that case, sir,
01:15:40 I wouldn't be at liberty to hand him over
01:15:42 without a direct order from Colonel Deal.
01:15:44 Well, appreciate that it is I who give the orders
01:15:46 and you who will obey.
01:15:48 For the first time in the history of my country, Sergeant Major,
01:15:51 it is the African who is putting the shell into the breach
01:15:53 and giving the orders to fire!
01:15:55 Really, Mr. Boniface?
01:15:58 I don't think I've ever come across a misfit
01:16:00 of your size and quality before.
01:16:03 You've missed your vacation,
01:16:04 so you ought to be in high park!
01:16:06 If you do happen to go putting a shell into the breach, sir,
01:16:10 I sincerely hope that you'll remember
01:16:12 to put the sharp end to the front!
01:16:14 You are in great danger!
01:16:19 All of you!
01:16:21 You have already refused to give up your weapons.
01:16:23 Now you refuse to hand over an officer
01:16:25 who is wanted for treason!
01:16:27 Sergeant Major, I will give you an hour to change your mind.
01:16:30 If you haven't delivered Captain Abram into my charge
01:16:32 by that time, I will destroy the Sergeant's mess
01:16:34 and everyone in it!
01:16:36 One hour, Sergeant Major.
01:16:43 (SHOUTING)
01:16:52 Do we get near?
01:17:01 Do we get near danger money for this caper?
01:17:03 Ah, probably bluffing.
01:17:05 Bluffing like bloody hell he was.
01:17:07 Well, they can't do this to us.
01:17:09 Can they stop him? But it's not in Queen's regulations.
01:17:11 It's there somewhere, boy.
01:17:13 They've got everything taped in there.
01:17:15 We ought to let him have Captain Abram
01:17:17 on a written guarantee of safe conduct.
01:17:19 Then we're in the clear!
01:17:21 Safe conduct? How long do you think that'll last?
01:17:23 Well, it's no skin off our nose!
01:17:25 We can always say they broke their promise.
01:17:27 It's no concern of ours.
01:17:30 (SCOFFS)
01:17:31 You stupid...
01:17:33 Put your man into the arms of a firing squad
01:17:35 and you say it's no concern of ours?
01:17:37 You're bloody keen, aren't you?
01:17:39 What's he ever done for you, Captain Abram, or any of 'em?
01:17:41 -I'll tell you what he did for me! -Men!
01:17:43 Look.
01:17:51 I had a skinful one night.
01:17:54 Around four o'clock in the morning I felt somebody shake me
01:17:56 while I was sleeping and off it was Abram.
01:17:59 -Well... -Now, I'll tell you what he said.
01:18:00 He said, "Color Sergeant, I just had a very strange dream.
01:18:02 "I dreamed that I went to the arm store
01:18:04 "and helped myself to 100,000 rifles.
01:18:06 "Now, I didn't need an exacting telling, boy.
01:18:08 "I got up and belted around the armory
01:18:10 "and found I'd forgot to lock it.
01:18:12 "Now, if it was anyone bar Abram on duty,
01:18:14 "I'd have got court-martialed for negligence.
01:18:16 "Now, you tell me one European officer
01:18:18 "that wouldn't have stuck it on his report.
01:18:20 "Just tell me one you know of!"
01:18:22 Thank you, Sergeant.
01:18:24 You all right, sir?
01:18:26 You shouldn't be walking about.
01:18:28 (GROANING)
01:18:29 I'm sorry, sir.
01:18:34 I can't allow you to leave the mess.
01:18:37 You cannot prevent it, Sergeant Major.
01:18:39 Don't you see that while I remain,
01:18:46 I'm involving you in my own affairs?
01:18:48 Is that good ethics?
01:18:51 I'm not interested in good ethics or bad ethics.
01:18:53 Or politics, I trust.
01:18:56 Well, you're lucky.
01:18:57 Thank you for your hospitality.
01:19:01 Ben!
01:19:05 Before you go, sir.
01:19:11 Yes, Sergeant Major.
01:19:14 What is it?
01:19:16 I've given you the protection of this mess, sir.
01:19:19 If you insist on going against my advice,
01:19:21 I'll have to take you to court.
01:19:24 If you insist on going against my advice,
01:19:25 would you please sign a chit to say you'll do so willingly?
01:19:27 All right.
01:19:31 But I must ask you to hurry.
01:19:34 Yes, of course.
01:19:39 "I, Captain...
01:19:53 "Abo...
01:19:54 "Abo...
01:19:57 "Abo...
01:20:04 "Do hereby...
01:20:07 "Declare that I...
01:20:17 "Leave thee...
01:20:21 "European...
01:20:22 "Sergeant's mess...
01:20:27 "At my own...
01:20:30 "Consistency."
01:20:37 Now, sir.
01:20:48 Now, sir.
01:20:49 Could you please sign this, sir?
01:20:55 Just here.
01:20:58 I've signed for many things in the Army, Sergeant Major.
01:21:09 First time I've signed for myself.
01:21:14 (SIGHS)
01:21:15 Wait!
01:21:32 Russell, get my hand!
01:21:34 I'll take you to my cushion.
01:21:42 I thought for one nasty moment he was going to get off the hook.
01:21:44 There are more ways of killing a cat than sticking a poker in his ear, lad.
01:21:49 I think I'll have this framed.
01:21:56 Sir, take a look at this.
01:22:10 The cat gun is the bofus.
01:22:11 That's what the basket man, when he talked about putting a shell in the breech.
01:22:18 The only weapons in this battalion...
01:22:26 Capable of burning salt and blazes.
01:22:29 Not that the gunner's very smart, but...
01:22:32 You can't better or miss a sergeant's mess at 100 yards in broad daylight.
01:22:37 Now...
01:22:38 The quickest way to put a bofus out of action is to shove a 36 grenade in the breech.
01:22:41 Simple as that.
01:22:43 It's two guns, so it'll need two of us.
01:22:47 Now, I know you're all itching to get out there and get stuck in.
01:22:51 So I'll offer it to the first volunteer.
01:22:53 Well, come along, lads. Come along. Don't be shy.
01:23:04 What's the matter with you? Lost your tongue?
01:23:05 Surely I don't have to detail somebody, eh?
01:23:07 Oh, gentlemen.
01:23:15 You amaze me.
01:23:17 You honestly amaze me.
01:23:20 I do honestly declare to you that I've never seen anything like this in all of my service life.
01:23:26 Holy suffering!
01:23:33 The first chance we get...
01:23:34 Have a bit of action.
01:23:36 Instead of sitting on our duffs like a lot of prized billy goats.
01:23:41 And there's not a man among you...
01:23:44 Not one man who's even got the guts to admit he's a coward.
01:23:48 I'll tell you what it is, sir.
01:23:53 In the war, all you had to do was go out and find the enemy and give them the chopper.
01:23:59 But these blokes are supposed to be on our side.
01:24:02 Well, we don't know if we're on foot or horseback.
01:24:06 I'll go.
01:24:08 - Come on, let's toss. - I said I'll go.
01:24:10 All right, steady on, Ben.
01:24:12 I'll go.
01:24:14 I mean, after all, Ben, you've got to use your loaf. You're a bit old for this job.
01:24:17 - I'm what? - Well...
01:24:19 - Drop it, Dodger. - Get a hold of...
01:24:21 Now, Ben.
01:24:23 You have only got ten days to do in the army and I take that into full consideration.
01:24:27 So if you want to leave it to Dodger or Digger, that's all right with me.
01:24:30 Leave it to them. They couldn't fix a rat in a drainpipe.
01:24:33 Sir?
01:24:35 - Yes, what is it? - It would be simpler to toss for it, wouldn't it?
01:24:38 Well, is anybody against tossing up for it?
01:24:42 All right, get a move on.
01:24:45 Ben?
01:24:56 Russells?
01:24:57 Dodger?
01:24:59 Digger?
01:25:01 Wilkes?
01:25:06 A queen. God bless her.
01:25:20 Right, then. That's you and me.
01:25:25 Now's your chance to get smothered in glory.
01:25:27 Wilkes.
01:25:29 Come on!
01:25:31 Come on!
01:25:32 Come on!
01:25:34 Come on!
01:25:35 Come on!
01:26:04 Thirty-sixes are ready, sir.
01:26:05 Right, we'd better take two each just in case any one of us gets through.
01:26:09 Lay out to the camp, sir.
01:26:18 Good. We'll meet Wilkes.
01:26:20 Sergeant's mess is here.
01:26:26 The guns, there.
01:26:28 Now, if we come up from the front, they'll make jam of us.
01:26:32 So we go out of the back and round there.
01:26:34 - Right. - How are you going to get across the road?
01:26:36 Will you stick a boomerang in that grey Aussie cake over yours till I've finished?
01:26:39 They're just lining up on us.
01:26:53 Right. We come out the back where there's plenty of cover and make our way round to there.
01:26:58 Now, this is the tricky bit.
01:27:00 Ben, give us two minutes to get here.
01:27:02 Then I want you to attract their attention.
01:27:04 And if you can hold it for even five seconds, we'll be across this road.
01:27:07 How about some cover fire, sir?
01:27:09 What, with two bofors sticking right up our jumper?
01:27:11 No, no, no. Make out you're otherwise engaged.
01:27:13 A fight, party, I don't care. Do a dance.
01:27:15 Wilkes. All right so far?
01:27:17 Yes, sir.
01:27:19 I wonder they didn't make you a sergeant.
01:27:20 I had a strike once.
01:27:21 Lost it after a fortnight.
01:27:23 After this little lot's over, you'll probably get it back.
01:27:24 Not too late to stay on and change your mind, you know, lad.
01:27:27 Now then, once we're across this road, we'll make our way through the firing butts.
01:27:30 And then?
01:27:32 Well, there's plenty of cover there. We'll play it by ear.
01:27:34 Now, Ben, we'll be at the end of the buildings in two minutes.
01:27:37 And then we'll wait till you start your frecker.
01:27:40 And keep it going till those guns go up.
01:27:43 I make it...
01:27:46 ten seconds short of 0633.
01:27:50 So zero from...
01:27:52 Now.
01:27:56 Come on, Wilkes.
01:27:57 Good luck.
01:27:59 Give me a hand with the piano.
01:28:03 Give me a hand with the piano.
01:28:05 [Tires screeching]
01:28:07 [Tires screeching]
01:28:09 [Tires screeching]
01:28:11 [Tires screeching]
01:28:30 [Birds chirping]
01:28:32 Right, Wilkes.
01:28:39 A minute and a half to go.
01:28:51 [Tires screeching]
01:28:54 [Tires screeching]
01:28:57 [Tires screeching]
01:28:59 [Tires screeching]
01:29:02 [Tires screeching]
01:29:05 [Tires screeching]
01:29:07 [Tires screeching]
01:29:10 [Tires screeching]
01:29:13 [Tires screeching]
01:29:15 [Tires screeching]
01:29:17 [Tires screeching]
01:29:19 [Tires screeching]
01:29:21 [Tires screeching]
01:29:23 [Tires screeching]
01:29:26 [Tires screeching]
01:29:27 Wilkes.
01:29:29 Sir?
01:29:30 Put it in.
01:29:31 [Gunshot]
01:29:32 Come on, quick.
01:29:37 [Chatter]
01:29:40 Whoa.
01:29:41 Ali?
01:29:46 Ali?
01:29:53 Ali?
01:29:54 Right, come on.
01:30:05 [Helicopter whirring]
01:30:14 [Chatter]
01:30:16 [Helicopter whirring]
01:30:19 [Gunshot]
01:30:21 [Gunshot]
01:30:22 [Gunshot]
01:30:27 [Gunshot]
01:30:31 Ten seconds.
01:30:37 Digger, open those windows.
01:30:39 I want them to get the full benefit of the choir.
01:30:41 Schooley, come and do your stuff.
01:30:43 Three, two, one.
01:30:48 [Chanting]
01:30:51 [Chanting]
01:30:55 [Chanting]
01:30:59 [Chanting]
01:31:03 [Chanting]
01:31:07 [Chanting]
01:31:11 [Chanting]
01:31:16 [Chanting]
01:31:19 [Chanting]
01:31:23 [Chanting]
01:31:27 [Chanting]
01:31:31 [Chanting]
01:31:35 [Chanting]
01:31:39 [Chanting]
01:31:44 Now then, through the trench.
01:31:46 The danger flexer.
01:31:47 Well, keep your head down, then.
01:31:49 [Chanting]
01:31:53 [Chanting]
01:31:57 [Chanting]
01:32:00 They won't get in the top ten with that little number.
01:32:02 What?
01:32:03 [Chanting]
01:32:06 [Chanting]
01:32:10 [Chanting]
01:32:12 [Chanting]
01:32:15 [Chanting]
01:32:19 [Chanting]
01:32:23 [Chanting]
01:32:26 That'll teach me to go peeping through keyholes.
01:32:29 Right.
01:32:31 Let's get out of here before they send someone to set the targets up again.
01:32:34 [Chanting]
01:32:37 [Chanting]
01:32:41 [Chanting]
01:32:44 [Chanting]
01:32:48 [Chanting]
01:32:52 [Chanting]
01:32:56 [Chanting]
01:33:00 [Chanting]
01:33:04 [Chanting]
01:33:09 [Chanting]
01:33:12 [Chanting]
01:33:16 What do we do now, sir?
01:33:18 Charge?
01:33:19 That's Tornet.
01:33:31 His nibs.
01:33:32 [Chanting]
01:33:37 [Chanting]
01:33:40 [Chanting]
01:33:44 [Chanting]
01:33:48 [Chanting]
01:33:52 We couldn't have done it better if we'd asked him.
01:33:55 [Chanting]
01:33:58 [Chanting]
01:34:02 [Chanting]
01:34:06 [Chanting]
01:34:09 [Chanting]
01:34:13 [Chanting]
01:34:17 [Chanting]
01:34:21 [Chanting]
01:34:25 Good morning.
01:34:29 Is Mr. Lord a day about?
01:34:36 Um, he's, uh...
01:34:38 He's doing something outside, sir.
01:34:41 I take it you've heard the news.
01:34:46 News, sir? What news?
01:34:50 That we've a new government.
01:34:53 The old lot have already surrendered.
01:34:56 We've got through the crisis without being involved. Damn good show.
01:35:02 Tell Mr. Lord a day I'd like to see him when he's finished, would you?
01:35:06 Oh, go on, Color Sergeant, go on.
01:35:13 Get out! I've got to get out! Get out!
01:35:31 Get out!
01:35:32 God's name.
01:35:45 I, uh...
01:35:51 I think the sergeant major's finished, sir.
01:35:54 Yes, sir.
01:35:55 - Right, Wilkes. - Sir.
01:36:09 Put your beddy on. You're about to have...
01:36:12 Well, Miss Derrickson, thank you very much for all your help.
01:36:15 - Goodbye, Sergeant Major. - Bon voyage.
01:36:22 Bye, sir.
01:36:23 Uh, Wilkes.
01:36:26 Remember, some folks sleep light.
01:36:30 Next time, don't sling your boots around, lad.
01:36:33 - Morning, Sergeant Major. - Morning, ma'am.
01:36:48 I'm leaving you today.
01:36:49 I trust your fact-finding tour has provided you with a few facts.
01:36:52 Perhaps one or two concerning Lieutenant Boniface.
01:36:54 Colonel Boniface, Sergeant Major.
01:36:57 And if it's any consolation to you, I disapprove of his methods as much as I do of yours.
01:37:02 - Colonel Boniface. - Yes, Mr. Lauderdale.
01:37:04 I see that you're already dressed for the ceremonial parade this afternoon.
01:37:08 Yes, sir. What's it all about, sir?
01:37:10 Well, it's a bit of a rush job, actually.
01:37:13 It's to celebrate the coming to power of the new government.
01:37:17 Colonel Boniface will be taking the salute.
01:37:19 He's now military governor of the province.
01:37:22 I think under the circumstances,
01:37:26 it might be better if you handed over the parade to the, um, color sergeant, hmm?
01:37:32 Very good, sir.
01:37:36 Well, you'll be glad to hear that the new government is elected to stay in the Commonwealth.
01:37:41 So, of course, we shall be carrying on as before.
01:37:44 Very well, sir.
01:37:46 What's going to happen to Captain Abrams, sir?
01:37:48 Oh, the new president has given him safe conduct out of the country.
01:37:55 That's good, sir.
01:37:58 Yes, but we, um, had to compromise.
01:38:04 General McClellan told me this morning that Boniface had demanded
01:38:09 that you leave the country within 48 hours.
01:38:14 The general considers the request completely unjustified.
01:38:18 Boniface also wants us to take disciplinary action against you.
01:38:23 What does that mean, sir?
01:38:29 Court-martial?
01:38:31 No, no, no, no, no. Of course, he won't come to that.
01:38:34 We've asked for time to consider the matter, naturally.
01:38:38 But the general thinks it would be wise,
01:38:41 if you were on the first available plane back to England.
01:38:46 Very well, sir. I'll get my gear together.
01:38:55 I don't suppose there's any comfort to you, Mr. Lauderdale.
01:38:59 But in your place, I'd have done exactly as you did.
01:39:04 Step for step.
01:39:07 (HORSE GALLOPING)
01:39:10 (HORSE GALLOPING)
01:39:12 (ENGINE REVVING)
01:39:23 (PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
01:39:29 (DOOR OPENS)
01:39:31 - Muscles. - Sir.
01:39:44 - Ready to go? - Sir.
01:39:46 Get the weapons back to the stall.
01:39:48 - Schooley. - Sir.
01:39:51 Get busy and empty them sandbags.
01:39:53 Yes, sir.
01:39:55 - Job. - Sir.
01:39:58 Check your vehicles and let me have a list of deficiencies.
01:40:01 Yes, sir.
01:40:03 Sir.
01:40:08 See what you can do about the meth silver, will you, please?
01:40:14 And, Ben.
01:40:18 You'll be taking the parade this afternoon.
01:40:22 (SIGHS)
01:40:24 - Pour me a whiskey, will you, please, Corporal Abou? - Sir.
01:40:31 That'll be all, lad.
01:40:42 (DOOR OPENS)
01:40:44 (CRASHES)
01:40:56 (GLASS SHATTERING)
01:41:08 (GLASS SHATTERING)
01:41:10 (HORN HONKING)
01:41:29 (HORN HONKING)
01:41:31 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:41:42 (HORN HONKING)
01:41:44 (HORN HONKING)
01:41:46 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:41:49 (HORN HONKING)
01:41:51 (HORN HONKING)
01:42:11 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:14 (HORSE GALLOPING)
01:42:17 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:20 (HORSE GALLOPING)
01:42:22 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:25 (HORSE GALLOPING)
01:42:27 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:29 (HORSE GALLOPING)
01:42:39 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:41 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:44 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:47 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:49 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:51 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:54 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:57 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
01:42:59 (dramatic music)
01:43:02 [BLANK_AUDIO]