CONQUERING GUILT!

Stefan Molyneux
Stefan Molyneux
  • 5 months ago
"Hey Stef, what are some things you wish you knew in your 20s?"

"hello Stefan... how do u overcome guilt? Feeling bad is a norm for me.....if I'm not feeling bad because of a situation I feel angry instead..."

Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!

NOW AVAILABLE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING' - AND THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI AND AUDIOBOOK!

Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!

See you soon!

https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022
Transcript
00:00 Good morning everybody, Stephen Molyneux from Free Domain. Hope you're doing very, very well.
00:04 freedomain.com/donate if you would like to help out the show it would be most,
00:09 most, most appreciated. Now, two important questions this morning. Number one,
00:15 Steph, what do you wish you had known in your 20s that you know now? What do you wish you'd known in
00:25 your 20s that you know now? The answer is nothing. Nothing. I am so immeasurably pleased with my life
00:38 and so happy at where I am. I mean, I get to wake up, live with wonderful people, live a life of
00:45 meaning and purpose and depth and philosophical power and carving my thoughts into the atomic
00:53 structure of the universe on a daily basis with your very kind help and participation.
00:57 Honestly, I couldn't do better. I can't do better. I mean, I'm obviously going to keep trying to be
01:03 better at philosophy over time, but I can't do better. I can't improve where I am. And so,
01:09 if I can't improve where I am, why would I want to change anything that led me here?
01:13 Now, this doesn't go back to my childhood. I'm not talking about justifying abuse and violence,
01:19 but until you said my 20s, right? So, my concern is that if I say, "Well, I wish I'd known this in
01:25 my 20s," that would be a way of saying, "I wish I was someplace else or in some other circumstance
01:32 or situation than I am, and I would not want to be in any other circumstance or situation."
01:37 It's really important in life. Nostalgia is when you look back and wish you'd been happier.
01:46 "Oh, I didn't know how good I had it. I didn't know how," whatever, right? It's like this old
01:50 cheesy thing I read on the show years ago about sunscreen. And one is like, you look back at
01:56 photos of yourself in a bathing suit in your 20s, and you just didn't understand how great you looked.
02:03 So, I don't want to look back and say, "I should have been happier." And so, I really do try to
02:13 suck the bone marrow of happiness out of every moment of every morsel of every day.
02:19 Because dissatisfaction is part of progress, dissatisfaction is part of life,
02:24 dissatisfaction is why we improve. So, a little bit of that friction is okay. I mean,
02:29 sometimes I'm dissatisfied with what I do in terms of, "Am I concise? Am I vivid enough?
02:39 Have I wielded language in the right ninja way?" And so, I work to improve. But even that
02:45 dissatisfaction is part of the happiness. Because if I was never dissatisfied, I wouldn't have
02:51 anything to improve, and everything would be repetition, and there would be nothing to aim for,
02:55 and I would feel listless. So, it would be like right after you've worked out, you don't want to
03:01 work out again, right? Because you're satisfied, and it's good, and it's happy, and it's right.
03:06 So, yeah, as far as my 20s go, I wouldn't go back. I'm not saying there's any
03:13 meanness in your question, but it is a form of trying to provoke dissatisfaction in the present.
03:21 You know, you play the hands you're dealt, man. Life's just going to deal you some hands, right?
03:28 I mean, I was dealt, obviously, my sex. I was dealt my race. I was gifted the language in terms
03:37 of speaking English, which is kind of fortunate in that it's one of the most spoken, if not the
03:40 most spoken, language in the world, and ideal for podcasting. I was gifted a little bit of an accent,
03:45 which some people find appealing. I was gifted a pleasant voice and some pretty good raw
03:52 intelligence and creativity. So, I was gifted all these things. I think it's important to
03:58 enjoy all of that and appreciate all of that and pay back the universe for the gifts you're given
04:05 by helping others live better, be happier. So, "Oh, I wish I'd known this in my 20s," is a way
04:13 of saying, "I wish I were somewhere else now, and I don't wish I was somewhere else now."
04:18 I do feel occasional twinges of envy, you know, like someone's always going on some big speaking
04:23 tour. And so, I get all of that. But also, it's better that I spent time with my family. I'm in
04:34 the tail end of parenting my daughter. It's really important that I do this kind of work and talking
04:40 about really deep philosophy with people. I couldn't do this kind of stuff in a speech, right?
04:44 It's more formal. So, I think this is the best use of my time and resources and abilities.
04:50 I don't want anything to be different. I mean, can you say that? I don't want anything to be
04:56 different. Even the occasional dissatisfaction with what I am doing and what I produce, I don't
05:02 want that to be different because that gives me something to aim for and something to improve.
05:06 I mean, every morning, I'm like, "Okay, I'm going to go and answer some questions. I'm going to
05:11 make this the best. I'm going to really, come on, let's get all our horses in the line. Let's pull
05:16 some real meaty syllables out of the deep brain," right? That's sort of what I mean.
05:21 So, I'm very happily married. I have a great relationship with my daughter. I've got good
05:27 friends. I have the most meaningful thing that can be done with a life I get to do on my own
05:34 schedule with my own topics. I get to work with really good friends. I mean, honestly,
05:41 my health is great. I can't do better. And so, it's the butterfly effect, right? Or the delicate
05:48 sound of thunder, that old Ray Bradbury story. It's just, if I go back and change something,
05:52 I'm somewhere else. So, I don't wish I knew something in my 20s that I know now. And honestly,
06:01 I think that's kind of a trick to regret where you are now. And if you regret where you are now,
06:07 work like hell to change it. Work like hell to change it. So, be careful of those kinds of
06:14 questions. And don't look back later on and say, "Gee, I didn't know how good I had it back then."
06:19 You don't know how good you have it right now. I really feel like I'm in the prime of my life
06:24 right now. I mean, I'm physically strong enough to do anything. I don't feel like my mental
06:29 acuities have ever been sharper. The one thing that's great about the brain is that, you know,
06:33 like a singer's voice wears out. You listen to Paul McCartney these days, and he sounds like a
06:38 deflating helium balloon. No disrespect to old Mac, but it's kind of rough. If you've ever heard
06:46 Barbara Streisand in her 70s, she still sounds fantastic, but then she's really worked to
06:50 preserve her voice. Whereas, of course, Paul McCartney's been a bit of a screamer. And he
06:54 noticed this even in his 20s, you know, that, "Oh, darling," that he did. He said he could have
07:00 done it better even a couple of years before, but his voice had already started to shred in his 20s.
07:04 So, yeah, love where you are, man. Love where you are. It only gets better from here for me.
07:12 It only gets better. Like, I ripped off this great speech last night, and it's a really delicate
07:17 thing because you've got to ride the surf of the language that's coming out. Shape it a little bit
07:23 consciously. You can't summon the words. And if you shape the words wrong, if you get distracted,
07:30 if you go off on a tangent, if you shape the words wrong, the inspiration just stops. The
07:34 words are coming out, and you do just a little bit of a tweak to get them out with the right
07:38 phrasing and the right pauses so that it really lands and hits home. So it's a really delicate
07:45 and powerful process to go through. I'm honored to go through it, and I'm absolutely thrilled
07:51 that it's recorded. And I'm always aiming to climb beyond what I perceive of as the summit
07:59 of language, of what can be contained and communicated in a non-technical way. I'm not
08:05 going to hide behind polysyllabic nonsense, right? How can wisdom be boiled down in a way
08:14 that moves like a gut punch from soul to soul and wakes it up, including mine? It's a wild process.
08:23 It's a beautiful process. It's a thrilling and challenging and exciting process. I am responsible
08:28 for maybe 10 or 15 percent of it, right? Just that little phrasing that may be a little bit of a
08:35 pause, but I am riding a wave. And the surfer, of course, adjusts to the wave, and there's skill in
08:44 it, but he sure ain't the wave, and he sure ain't the board. He's just trying to have a fun ride
08:51 getting from shore to shore. All right. So be careful of nostalgia. Nostalgia is a sign that
08:59 you're not happy enough or appreciative enough in the present. So another question I had is,
09:05 "Steph, how do I handle guilt? I feel guilty. How do I handle guilt?"
09:11 So all guilt arises from the absence of apology. When you look, you feel guilty in yourself,
09:19 you see guilt in another, all guilt arises from the absence of apology. And this is a two-sided
09:27 coin. So if you've done something wrong to someone, you apologize, right? And that's the
09:38 cure for the guilt. The guilt is there to say you've done something wrong and you need to apologize.
09:44 When you apologize, you will feel better. So the wrongness is the wound, and the apology
09:51 is the dressing. It's the stitching. It's the healing. And you keep apologizing, and you keep
09:56 reminding the person that you are thinking about it so that they know it's not going into the void.
10:01 So slapping a bandage on something that needs stitching is not good, because it needs stitching.
10:10 It's going to heal ragged. It's going to heal incorrectly. It's going to heal in an
10:14 uncomfortable and painful way. It may need to be recut and restitched, right?
10:17 So a lot of times, apologies are an inelegant way of just telling someone to shut the hell up,
10:24 right? "Hey man, I apologize. What more do you want from me?" Right? It's a way of slapping a
10:30 band-aid on something that needs stitches. It's a way of putting makeup on a skin condition that
10:36 needs treatment. It's another form of aggression. So if you've done something wrong to someone,
10:42 and let's say it's been significant, then you need to remind that person for days or weeks or months
10:49 that you're still thinking about it, and you're still working on it, and it hasn't vanished from
10:53 your mind. Because the only way to regain trust after someone has hurt you is for that person
11:00 to keep the wrong and the restitution in his or her mind. So be alert, be aware, as far as that
11:13 goes, right? So an apology is not a statement. An apology is a process that is at least half as long
11:22 as the wrong. So let's say you lied to someone about something important for a month. You need
11:27 at least two weeks of constant, "I'm thinking about it. I still feel bad. Here's what I'm doing,"
11:34 right? So that it's not one and done, you know, "I did an apology, and that's it. I don't need
11:39 to think about it again because I already apologized. And if you bring it up, you have
11:43 the problem, and you're not accepting apologies, and you're intransigent, and you're trying to
11:47 bully me," right? Then you just know there's no change. There's no change. Nothing's going to
11:51 change. Nothing's going to get better. It's all lies and nonsense, manipulation and bullying.
11:56 No improvement, no change, no bettering. So guilt is when you've done something that harms someone.
12:05 You've done something that's wrong, and it could be you've harmed yourself, right? You've betrayed
12:11 your own values. You've not risen to the occasion. You've avoided something necessary. You've done
12:18 something you know is bad or wrong. So then you need to apologize to yourself and figure out how
12:25 to do better without rage, hostility, contempt, right? Aggression solves nothing but aggression,
12:33 right? If someone aggresses against you, then you could be aggressive back.
12:37 But wounds are not solved by aggression. Aggression is for escalation in self-defense.
12:45 But if you've harmed yourself, getting angry at yourself is putting yourself
12:48 in a situation of aggressive self-defense, which is further splitting your personality and alienating
12:53 core parts of your identity. "I am the enemy." Slashes in two, sets against each other. Slashes
13:00 in four, eight, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1048. So yeah, it's not good. Spot the guy raised on
13:10 computers. Now, so I said it's a two-sided coin. So all guilt is a marker for a necessary apology
13:23 and restitution that's absent. You do something wrong to someone else and then you avoid restitution,
13:28 which really doesn't just harm, it pretty much wrecks the relationship. If you've done something
13:36 significantly wrong and you avoid apologies and restitution, then you're saying, "I prefer
13:43 status and dominance over the other person." And one of the reasons you don't apologize to people
13:50 is because you are certain or you've convinced yourself, maybe you're right, I don't know.
13:56 But one of the reasons you don't apologize to people is that you are certain that the people
14:02 you apologize to will abuse the vulnerability of your apology. So if you apologize to someone
14:09 and then they always bring it up later, "Oh, you're right. You're certain now, just like
14:13 that time you were certain before. It turned out you had to grovel before me and apologize and
14:17 you were so wrong. Oh, you're so certain now," or whatever it is. Or the restitution they demand
14:25 from your apology will be grinding you down for eternity. Because to apologize is to put yourself
14:34 in a state of vulnerability, in a state of lower status. And historically, of course,
14:40 the slave has to grovel before the master, the master never has to grovel before or apologize to
14:46 the slave. So if you feel sorry for something, but you feel a reluctance or fear to apologize
14:55 because you believe that someone will abuse your apology and use it to dominate and bully you,
15:03 then there's not a real relationship. There's a power play, there's a power structure.
15:08 It's win-lose. Win-lose is never a relationship. Win-lose is slavery. You go and work for some
15:17 place, they pay you 20 bucks an hour, you're winning 20 bucks an hour, they're winning
15:23 by making more than the 20 bucks they're paying you. Win-win, beautiful. But if it's win-lose,
15:30 it's not a relationship. It's an exploitation, it's a power play, it's a dominance and submission.
15:36 It is to relationships as slavery is to capitalism, to the free market. It's win-lose.
15:44 It's mutual, historical, entrapped status reinforcement. So if you're around someone
15:52 who's higher status than you and they keep you around to feel higher status,
15:55 then if you apologize to them, they will take that as a mark of their higher status,
16:00 of their dominance, of their superiority, and will use your apology to grind you down.
16:04 And thus you avoid apologies because apologies don't bring gratitude and recognition and intimacy
16:11 and closeness and trust. They bring bullying and dominance and subjugation and humiliation
16:16 and so on. Now, sorry, finally getting to the second side of the coin. The second side of the
16:22 coin, when I say that guilt is a manifestation of the absence of an apology, that also means that
16:31 the apology is owed to you by someone else. So if, you know, let's take sort of the classic
16:38 scenario of the manipulating or devouring mother. So the classic scenario of the manipulating or
16:43 devouring mother is the mother who inflicts guilt on her son for various things and says the son
16:54 owes her because she gave up everything and she sacrificed everything and she just thinks of him
17:01 morning, noon, and night. And so he owes her. And if he doesn't pay her back with time, attention,
17:06 money, resources, massaging her feet when she gets old, and if he doesn't basically
17:12 bow down his life before the altar of her bottomless needs, then he's a bad person and
17:18 he's selfish. And so she inflicts guilt on him in order to manipulate and control him. So she infects
17:25 him with a sickness, a spiritual sickness called guilt. And she says that you are cured of the
17:38 spiritual sickness called guilt only insofar as you serve me. It becomes like diabetes, right?
17:48 Like diabetes, when it's advanced, you got to take your insulin and if you don't take your insulin,
17:53 you get sick and die. You lose feet or eyes or whatever happens, right? Some Ella Fitzgerald
17:57 thing. So you get inflicted with a curse, a sin, a spiritual sickness, a self-hatred called guilt.
18:08 And then other people say, "Hey man, I'm going to give you this painkiller called obedience.
18:16 And with this painkiller called obedience, I'm not going to activate the spiritual sickness
18:20 called guilt." The little button there, right? Remote control, a detonator, so to speak, right?
18:28 I'm not going to activate this remote control called guilt. Just keep obeying me. And in some
18:35 of the more corrupt superstitious practices of the past, of course, you would be infected with
18:43 a spiritual sickness called sin and you would have to keep paying for and obeying the witch doctor
18:50 in order to be absolved of this perpetual incurable but only manageable through giving money,
18:57 time, resources, and obedience to the witch doctor. And only then can you be temporarily
19:02 or momentarily cured of the spiritual sickness called sin. So to inflict and infect you with a
19:14 curse and then be daily paid for the neutering of that curse is foundational to exploitation
19:25 through guilt. Now if people have exploited you through guilt, you're a bad person unless you
19:30 obey me. You're a selfish monster. You're ungrateful. You only think of your own pleasure
19:36 and your own needs. It's all projection, of course. But if you are infected with guilt in order to be
19:42 controlled, manipulated, bullied, and exploited, then the person who infected you with guilt owes
19:46 you an apology and the guilt is still a marker of the absence of apology. It is just the absence of
19:54 the apology on the part of the person who's infected you with guilt. Of course it's one of
20:00 the oldest tricks of power to inflict upon you a negative and then cure it on a perpetually
20:08 subjugated basis. By perpetually subjugating you and controlling you and taking your resources. So
20:13 people who don't have anything positive to offer will inflict negatives upon you until you comply.
20:20 People who have positive things to offer will exchange in a voluntary way value for value.
20:26 So a car dealership has a car to offer and you have twenty thousand dollars to offer and so you
20:36 exchange value in a voluntary fashion. However a thief who has neither a car nor twenty thousand
20:43 dollars will simply steal the car because he doesn't have anything to offer in exchange for
20:48 the car. So release from a negative, this is what kidnappers do, right? They'll take your pet or a
20:55 loved one and they will hold that until you pay them. They don't have anything of value to offer
21:00 other than the cessation of a negative, which is your agony at having your pet or loved one kidnapped.
21:06 Blackmailers do the same thing. They try to take your reputation hostage and have you pay them in
21:12 perpetuity. You know like those emails like "Bad news for you, I've gotten control of your
21:17 devices and I've seen what you've been doing" like "Whoop-de-doo, you've seen me check bitcoin
21:23 five times a day" so that is pretty foundational to understanding what guilt is.
21:30 So if you've done something wrong you owe someone an apology. If someone else has inflicted guilt
21:36 on you in order to control you they owe you an apology. Now in the first instance you have
21:43 control over the cessation of guilt like if you've done something wrong you have control over the
21:48 cessation of guilt because you can apologize. You have control over the cessation of guilt
21:57 because you can apologize. Now in the second instance let's say you have a mother who inflicts
22:02 guilt upon you in order to bully, control, manipulate and exploit you, you have control
22:08 over the guilt. You have control over the guilt which is in the first instance where you've done
22:17 something wrong you demand an apology from yourself. In the second instance when someone
22:24 else has wronged you, you demand an apology from them. Now of course you're in control
22:30 of whether you get an apology from yourself but you are not in control of whether someone else
22:37 apologizes to you. So if you've done something thoughtless and inconsiderate and hurtful
22:45 to a much beloved mother then you apologize to her. If a not so beloved mother has guilted and
22:54 bullied you for years with guilt and accusations and verbal abuse then she owes you an apology.
23:01 In the first instance you control whether you can apologize to your mother. In the second instance
23:06 you can't control whether your bad mother apologizes to you and where restitution has
23:11 become impossible apologies will either be absent or hollow. This is really, I understand this.
23:17 So let's say that your mother has been mean to you for 25 years. 25 years! Oh is there restitution
23:26 for that? Nope there's no restitution for that. Even if she accepts and acknowledges all the
23:32 wrongs you need seven times the good to overcome the bad. Right? You need seven times the good
23:39 to overcome the bad. So 175 is that? Seven times 25? Eight times 25 would be 200. So yeah you need
23:49 175 years of perfect behavior just to match the first 25 years of bad behavior not even including
23:55 the fact that first impressions tend to count a whole lot more. That the first 25 years counts
24:00 a whole lot more in the relationship than the time between 150 and 175 years. So it's never
24:06 functionally possible to restore. This is why when you do something wrong you try to sort it out as
24:11 quickly as humanly possible. Right? You try to sort it out as quickly as humanly possible because
24:16 otherwise you're accruing a significant debt to put it mildly. So if you have been wronged
24:25 if you have been wronged by again we'll just go with the traditional mother thing she says
24:30 you're selfish and ungrateful if you don't do what she wants. Well it's universal which is why
24:36 adulthood is important in these matters. It's universal right? So if you're selfish and mean
24:41 for not doing what your mother wants and you want her to apologize then she's selfish and mean for
24:47 not doing what you want because it's universal. Right? The principle is it is selfish and mean
24:53 to not do what other people want. Okay? So that's circular right? And given that she chose to have
24:58 you but you didn't choose her as a mother and if you can think of times when as a child and I'm
25:04 sure you can if your mother was mean where she did not do what you want she didn't even inquire
25:09 what you want. Right? So if the mother says you're selfish and mean for not doing what I want
25:14 then you would say or you could say what is it that I want in this relationship? What is it that
25:19 I want in life? What is it that I like? What are my preferences? And of course a really selfish
25:24 person just won't know. I've already said a narcissistic person that just won't know these
25:28 things. So it's like okay so I'm bad for not doing what you want but you don't even know what I want.
25:33 Isn't that even more selfish to not even inquire for what I want? Well it's your job to tell me
25:38 and it's like well is it? So you have no idea what I want even though you carried me in your
25:45 womb gave birth to me raised me for 20 years you have no idea what I want. None. Not even a bit.
25:52 Well that just indicates that you don't know me at all. Right? So when people fail to meet your
25:58 needs and they're mean people they will always tell you that it's your problem your issue your
26:04 fault for not telling them explicitly what you need which is far from ideal. But of course
26:12 people inflict negatives on you by definition because they can't motivate you with a positive.
26:19 You know if my mother were to ask me to do things I would feel sort of resentful and negative because
26:25 of the prior history and current circumstances of abuse. Whereas you know I mean other people in my
26:30 life ask me to do things that I care about I'm like yep absolutely totally happy to happy to help
26:37 happy to help because there's love and respect and mutuality and all kinds of good stuff going on.
26:43 So guilt is really really important you look in your heart and you say did I do wrong? So it really
26:51 comes down to and this sounds very analytical and abstract it's really very powerful when you get it
26:57 it comes down to are you willing and happy to accept in your life asymmetrical relationships?
27:05 Asymmetrical relationships are where the principles that dominate the relationship
27:10 are opposites. So you have to do what your mom wants if she's dysfunctional and bullying you
27:18 have to do what your mom wants or you're mean and selfish. But your mom doesn't have to do what you
27:23 want and coincidentally if you try to get your mom to do what you want you are also mean and selfish
27:31 right? So it's an asymmetrical relationship it breaks your brain because you have to ignore that
27:35 basic hypocrisy. If you don't do what I want you're mean and selfish. If you try to make me do what you
27:42 want you're mean and selfish and dominant and controlling right? So that's terrible. It's
27:50 more than asymmetry just that means sort of things are out of whack but this is like opposite you have
27:55 to ignore the opposite that it's one rule for you obey or be abused but it's another rule for your
28:04 mother which is you're abusive if you try to make her obey. She has legitimate needs that you're mean
28:14 and selfish for denying her all your needs are illegitimate and you're selfish and mean for
28:22 trying to impose them upon her. If you don't do what she wants you're dysfunctional but you're
28:29 also dysfunctional for trying to get her to do what you want. If she doesn't get her needs met
28:38 in the relationship it's your fault for being selfish and withholding. If you don't get your
28:44 needs met in the relationship it's because your needs are greedy and irrational and abusive.
28:52 So if she doesn't get her needs met it's your fault. If you don't get your needs met
28:58 oh look it's also your fault right? So this is just terrible stuff. Terrible stuff. So yeah with
29:06 regards to guilt look for the absence of the apology. If you've wronged others it's because
29:10 you haven't apologized. If others have wronged you it's because they haven't apologized and in order
29:15 to cover up their lack of apology they inflict guilt upon you. To keep you doubting yourself
29:21 guilt is doubt right? Guilt is doubt. If you've done the right thing you don't doubt. Guilt is
29:26 doubt and there's nothing wrong with doubt. If you confidently do the wrong thing then guilt is your
29:30 way of saying your brain's way of saying "ah not so sure not so quick there bucko not so certain
29:35 don't be don't be so certain and we think you did the wrong thing. I think you did something wrong."
29:39 So guilt is a way of putting on the brakes and re-evaluating the situation and touching the GPS
29:45 and re-centering and right because you might have done something wrong. Guilt is doubt. It's good.
29:48 Doubt is fine and you should also doubt whether the guilt is legitimate because the guilt
29:55 because it's such a powerful control mechanism particularly for Christians for reasons that are
30:00 fairly clear you have to be doubtful whether or not the guilt is just and the way that you find
30:09 that out is you do that ninja reversal. If the principle of your relationship with a dysfunctional
30:15 mother is you have to do what she wants or you're a bad person then that's a universal principle.
30:22 Can it be reversed? If she doesn't do what you want is she a selfish person? But if she wriggles
30:28 out of that then it's not a principle it's a control mechanism. She's got no principle and
30:34 the only way that guilt works is if you think it's a principle. Once you see it if it's manipulative
30:38 once you see it as a manipulative control tool your soul will be disgusted be revolted that your
30:44 virtues and your moral sensitivity have been used to bully control and exploit you that somebody is
30:49 so corrupt that they've taken your virtues and turned them into vices that serve them that
30:56 they've exploited your caring for that person in order to bully control manipulate and exploit you
31:04 your soul will revolt. Your soul will revolt because it is revolting to take your virtues
31:13 and use them to bully and exploit you to strip mine your caring for another person
31:17 to get you to serve their bottomless endless victim full narcissistic needs. It's repulsive
31:25 it is revolting it's like the people who pretend to be injured by the side of the road and then
31:32 rob beat rape and assault people they're taking the kindness and exploiting it they recognize
31:40 that you have virtue and they target the virtuous whereas the careless are safe from them right if
31:45 you don't care about people by the side of the road if you're that kind of selfish you're fine
31:49 you're safe right so it is repulsive when you see it and then you're owed an apology
31:56 and that apology will never come because once you've repeatedly exploited someone for their
32:03 virtues with no intention of reciprocity your soul is beyond saving. I'm talking years and
32:11 in particular talking parents because there's no restitution possible when you have exploited
32:17 virtues and turned them to self-serving vices. freedomain.com/donate to help out the show hugely
32:24 would appreciate it and it is kind of a necessary thing so if you could help out I know times are
32:30 tough so man listen if you don't have money if you're broke if you're between jobs enjoy the
32:34 content don't worry a fret about it a single bit but if you could help out I would hugely appreciate
32:40 it freedomain.com/donate or you can sign up for a subscription at freedomain.locals.com
32:45 or subscribestar.com/freedomain talk to you soon bye