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AmusantTranscription
00:00 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:02 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:04 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:06 ♪ Let's start that time again ♪
00:08 ♪ Let's take a look and see what's happened ♪
00:11 ♪ Oh, the close surprise ♪
00:13 ♪ Close surprise ♪
00:15 ♪ It's life with Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
00:18 ♪ Life with Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
00:22 ♪ It's life with Loveable, Loveable ♪
00:24 ♪ Completely Huggable ♪
00:27 ♪ It's life with Louie ♪
00:31 - When Principal Hollerin made a visit to our classroom,
00:35 it usually meant one of two things.
00:36 Either Glenglyne had been caught mixing pencil shavings
00:39 into the cafeteria food again,
00:41 or we were having a substitute.
00:43 - Mr. Lambert will not be here this week.
00:47 Now I want everyone on their best behavior for Miss Robertson.
00:51 - Hello. Top of the morning to you, class.
00:53 - Hmm? I see we'll have to have a little chat
00:56 about the dress code.
00:58 - Let's say we begin by introducing ourselves, shall we?
01:00 I'm Miss Robertson, and you are?
01:02 - Uh... - Doing?
01:04 - Uh...
01:05 - Eep!
01:09 - My! Aren't we the studious one?
01:14 - That's me, Mr. Studious.
01:16 - Oh, brother.
01:18 You really are stuck on her, aren't you, Mr. Studious?
01:21 - Why would you say that?
01:23 - Because you just put all of your books in my locker.
01:26 - They were lonely.
01:27 (tambourine)
01:29 - Oh, shovel one, shovel two,
01:32 shovel three, save us from the communists!
01:35 Oh, 600? Ha! Time to hit the showers.
01:39 - ♪ Rub-a-dub-dee, rub-a-dub-dee ♪
01:41 ♪ Morning is the greatest time of the world ♪
01:43 - Who's in here?
01:45 - Top of the morning, Dad.
01:46 - Louie? Aren't you the one
01:48 I have to yank out of bed every morning?
01:50 - That one's the old Louie, Dad.
01:53 - Is that so?
01:55 - Natural scent.
01:56 I thought the idea was to get rid of the natural scent.
01:59 ♪ ♪ ♪
02:01 ♪ ♪ ♪
02:04 - My goodness, you look handsome this morning, Louie.
02:08 Is it class picture day?
02:09 - Geez, I drag a comb through my hair,
02:12 and suddenly it has to be class picture day?
02:15 - You'll have to change out of those fancy duds after school,
02:17 'cause we've got a project to finish.
02:19 - Oh, good, you're finally taking down
02:21 Mrs. Stoneman's Christmas lights?
02:23 - Yeah, right.
02:25 - Andy!
02:26 - Louie, I need your help with my bomb shelter.
02:29 Besides, you're the oldest.
02:31 - Well, Danny's the oldest. Why don't you ask him?
02:34 - Oh, yeah, sure, Dad. I'll be right there to help you.
02:37 Have fun. (laughs)
02:39 - Need I say more?
02:41 - You know, Andy, that dirt hole in the yard
02:43 has become a real eyesore.
02:45 - Why don't we just fill it with water
02:47 and have a pool party?
02:48 - And my bomb shelter?
02:50 Next thing you know, you'll want to be swimming
02:51 with the enemy.
02:53 - And another thing, I don't see how we're going
02:55 to squeeze all our neighbors in there, Andy.
02:57 We can't just leave them out, you know.
02:59 - Why not? They didn't invite me to their canasta tournament.
03:03 - Hm, their loss, huh, Dad?
03:05 - Well, besides, if the unspeakable happens,
03:07 there's strength in numbers.
03:08 - Ah, I think you got something there, Hora.
03:12 ♪ ♪ ♪
03:15 - Gracious me, you're here early.
03:17 Crumpet?
03:18 - I'm more of a donut man myself.
03:20 But I'll give it a shot.
03:22 - It was a perfect moment.
03:23 Just me, a crumpet, and the woman of my dreams.
03:28 - Morning, Miss Robertson.
03:29 - Oh, thank you, Michael.
03:31 That's quite thoughtful.
03:32 - I thought so.
03:33 - Hey, those are my mom's petunias.
03:37 - The flower shop was out of my way.
03:39 - It's one of my dad's formaldehyde jars.
03:41 He's a pathologist, you know.
03:42 - Oh, how unusual.
03:44 Um, let's put it here for safekeeping.
03:48 We wouldn't want it to break.
03:49 - Well, that'd be a heartbreaker.
03:51 - It's Oricon.
03:52 I made it from a night sniffer comic.
03:54 - Hey, that's the one I loaned you.
03:57 - Obviously, I wasn't the only one
03:59 trying to impress Miss Robertson.
04:01 - It's two-ply.
04:02 - Thank you.
04:03 This morning, I'd like to introduce you
04:05 to a very special author.
04:07 His name is William Shakespeare,
04:09 and he wrote some of the world's most beautiful stories.
04:12 - Hmm. - Oh, no, not him.
04:14 - Ugh. - Huh.
04:16 - Can anyone name one of them?
04:18 - Um, there's the one about the guy,
04:20 and, uh, other guy.
04:22 - Oh, you must mean two gentlemen of Verona.
04:25 Well done, Louie.
04:26 - Even though I didn't know the answer,
04:28 I didn't feel silly.
04:29 Miss Robertson had a way of making me feel special.
04:32 I imagine she had the same effect on the other boys.
04:35 - I love daisies.
04:37 - Nice day for a ride, huh?
04:39 - Louie, Louie,
04:42 wherefore art thou, Louie?
04:45 - Oh, Louie, this is a rough gig.
04:49 - Louie, Louie.
04:51 Louie, are you with us?
04:53 - Oh, yes.
04:55 - I'm just gonna tie my shoe.
04:58 - You weenie.
05:01 - Let Groomrolls bring her flowers
05:03 and Scott, formaldehyde jars.
05:06 I was gonna learn Shakespeare
05:08 and be Miss Robertson's star.
05:10 - Left, left, left, right, left,
05:16 and hut, about face.
05:19 Geez, if you men were in the trenches,
05:22 we'd have never finished that bridge over the river quite.
05:25 - How about a break, man?
05:26 These bricks are heavy.
05:28 - Sorry, guys, Flanagan was all out of styrofoam bricks.
05:32 - Hey, Anderson, what are you doing?
05:34 Burying a bone?
05:36 - Very funny, Jensen.
05:39 But that's exactly what'll be left of you
05:42 when the big one hits.
05:44 Meanwhile, we'll be sitting pretty
05:46 in our temperature-controlled, radiation-proof,
05:48 air-tight bomb shelter.
05:51 (rire)
05:53 - Oil! I struck oil!
05:56 I'm rich! I'm rich!
05:59 (cris de joie)
06:02 - Right might be a more appropriate description, Anderson.
06:06 (cris de joie)
06:09 - After Dad's brief career as an oil tycoon,
06:12 the busted sewer pipe forced him to venture into plumbing.
06:15 And since any trip to the hardware store
06:17 was considered part of my formal education,
06:20 I was recruited.
06:21 - Hey, Andy!
06:23 How's your bomb shelter coming along?
06:25 - I drafted some of the neighbors.
06:27 We'll have it finished in no time.
06:29 - Take a gander at my baby.
06:31 Walnut paneling, track lighting, sauna.
06:34 I'm thinking of moving in.
06:36 - Hey, Mr. Flanagan, got any Shakespeare around here?
06:39 - Shakespeare? You're not into that, too.
06:42 My oldest has them teaching that nonsense
06:44 down at the Cedar Knoll Military Academy.
06:47 - But I thought he was a military man.
06:49 - He is. He runs the joint.
06:51 - So what's with the Shakespeare?
06:53 - Well, that's what I keep asking him.
06:55 Those kids should be learning something useful,
06:57 like caulking, riveting, or grommeting.
07:00 - Oh, yeah, grommeting.
07:03 There's a skill you can apply every day.
07:05 What a piece of work is man.
07:08 How noble and... - Speaking of work,
07:10 are you gonna help the old man with the shelter later?
07:13 - Tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow.
07:15 - Not tomorrow, today.
07:17 - Thy enemy's wrath shall wait, my father,
07:20 for I must tend to issues present.
07:23 - You had an easier time understanding
07:24 the Germans in Salerno.
07:26 Who's teaching him this garbage anyway?
07:28 - Why, the fair maiden, Miss Robertson.
07:32 - For crying out loud,
07:33 she ought to be teaching him the four R's--
07:35 reading, writing, arithmetic, and reconnaissance.
07:38 - I believe it's the three R's, Andy.
07:40 - What? She took away one of the R's?
07:43 ♪ ♪
07:46 - Questions, anyone? - Why didn't Shakespeare
07:48 give anyone a normal name,
07:50 like Bob or Phil or Ted or Cindy?
07:53 - Splendid question, Louis.
07:55 Well, I believe "Romeo and Juliet"
07:59 is a more romantic title than "Bob and Juliet."
08:02 I'm glad to see you're taking such an interest
08:04 in your reading.
08:05 - This Shakespeare stuff isn't so hard.
08:08 How's this?
08:09 Something's rotten in the state of Denmark,
08:11 and I think it's...
08:12 (imitates farting)
08:13 (laughing)
08:16 - Thank you for that interesting interpretation.
08:19 Can anyone help Mr. Glenn out?
08:21 - Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
08:25 Heaven will direct it.
08:27 - Very impressive, Louis.
08:30 For your exceptional knowledge of Shakespeare,
08:33 I crown you King Louis Lear.
08:36 There, perfect fit.
08:38 - Things couldn't have been any better...
08:39 until...
08:42 (air horn)
08:43 - Come on, chirps, move it, move it, move it!
08:45 - It's really necessary, Andy.
08:47 - Move what? Where?
08:48 - This is an air raid, private.
08:51 Move your tail to the shelter!
08:53 Double time!
08:55 Pitiful, just pitiful.
08:57 Officially, we're all goners.
08:59 - Good. Maybe now we can all rest in peace.
09:02 - All right, everybody, spread out!
09:03 Come on, now!
09:04 Give me some elbow room!
09:06 - Move out of the way!
09:08 - Move it, Waffle Noodle!
09:10 - Oh!
09:12 I thought this shelter was supposed to protect us
09:14 from the enemy.
09:15 - Hey, I sweated like a pig building this place.
09:19 And what? What, I can't even get a seat?
09:21 - There's no room for my in-laws!
09:23 - This isn't a hotel, Grunwald.
09:25 It's a bomb shelter.
09:27 - Well, I'm not telling my mother-in-law to leave.
09:30 Talk about World War III.
09:31 - Hey, what about my family?
09:32 - All right, all right, already.
09:34 Hold it down.
09:35 - Friends, Romans, countrymen,
09:38 lend him your ears.
09:40 - Lend 'em? What?
09:42 - What is he talking about?
09:44 - What the kid's trying to say is that we need a system.
09:46 You know, families with the last names A through M
09:50 have the shelter Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays,
09:53 and N through Z the other days.
09:55 - Ooh, good idea, Louie.
09:57 - Ha! Smart kid you got there, Andy.
10:00 (laughing)
10:01 - Yeah, yeah, he's a real gem.
10:02 - Cookies, anyone?
10:04 - Oh, yeah, cookies.
10:05 That's a great idea.
10:06 Exactly how we did it in Normandy.
10:09 - Come, Father.
10:11 Yon breakfast awaits.
10:13 - Well, you sure are chipper this morning.
10:16 - I'm a morning person now.
10:18 - Really?
10:19 I'll be sure to let the enemy know
10:21 so they can bomb us any time after dawn.
10:24 - Hey, Dad, where are all your helpers?
10:27 - After last night's little milk and cookie party,
10:30 we decided it's every man for himself.
10:33 - So much for strength in numbers.
10:36 - Well, you and I make two,
10:38 and that's all the numbers I need.
10:41 - Sorry, Dad, I'm busy.
10:43 I gotta finish my oatmeal.
10:44 And after that, I gotta brush up on my Shakespeare.
10:47 - Does Shakespeare keep a roof over your head
10:49 and food on the table?
10:50 Does Shakespeare pay your allowance?
10:52 - But, Dad, I'm in the middle of King Henry IV.
10:56 - Well, around here, I'm the king,
10:59 and King Andy I says he needs help.
11:03 - Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.
11:06 - And that means?
11:07 - It means go easy on your kids,
11:10 or they'll take over your kingdom.
11:13 - That's mutiny!
11:14 Who's teaching you this track?
11:16 Ora!
11:17 I'm back!
11:19 ♪ ♪ ♪
11:22 - Wow, this is a surprise, huh?
11:24 I haven't seen you in, what, two whole hours?
11:26 - I didn't do it, I swear!
11:28 - You know the routine.
11:31 - I'm telling you, she's teaching a mutiny.
11:34 - I hardly think Shakespeare.
11:37 - It's chaos.
11:38 - A man can't run a family unit like that.
11:42 - Mr. Anderson, a family is a group of people
11:44 living together to offer one another
11:47 love, support, and understanding.
11:50 Not an elite tactical squadron.
11:52 - Well, I say she's filling his head with all sorts of ideas.
11:56 And it's your job to get rid of her.
11:58 - Ah!
11:59 - Excuse me, nature calls.
12:02 - Hello, Mr. Anderson.
12:03 Let me start by saying how much I enjoy
12:05 having Louis in my class.
12:07 - So you can brainwash him with all that
12:09 Shakespeare propaganda?
12:12 - Shakespeare's plays are hardly--
12:13 - Don't get me wrong.
12:15 I'm for higher learning as much as the next guy.
12:18 But not when it interferes with national security.
12:22 - National security?
12:23 - He's got no respect for who's boss,
12:25 and it ain't going over too good with me.
12:28 - "Ain't" is not a word, Mr. Anderson.
12:31 - What do you know, anyway?
12:33 You're a principal, not a teacher.
12:35 - You sound exactly like my father.
12:39 You must be a military man.
12:41 - Fighting 5th Regiment, and proud of it.
12:43 - Then I was an army brat myself.
12:46 Father was a full bird colonel.
12:48 - Well, I'll bet my purple heart,
12:50 four citations, and three traffic violations
12:53 that he doesn't go for this Shakespeare stuff either.
12:56 - On the contrary, Mr. A.
12:58 He's a big fan.
12:59 Especially Richard III and Henry V,
13:02 Macbeth, anything with a sword
13:04 and a battlefield or two.
13:06 - Shakespeare wrote about war?
13:08 Huh. Was he a marine or something?
13:10 - Not exactly, but you'd have a hard time
13:13 finding an author who wrote about war
13:15 as vividly as William Shakespeare.
13:17 You know, "A horse, a horse!
13:19 My kingdom for a horse!"
13:21 - Horse? Why didn't he just use a tank?
13:24 - They didn't have tanks in those days.
13:26 Just bows, arrows, and the occasional cannon.
13:29 - You call that warfare?
13:31 Let me tell you about the time I single-handedly
13:34 tracked down 80 regiments of Germans.
13:37 - Hey! Over here!
13:39 Hey, Louis' dad is a Benedict Arnold!
13:41 - Oh, you're okay, army brat.
13:44 - Oh, you're the scream.
13:46 (laughing)
13:47 - Any chance of getting you to replace Howler in here?
13:50 - Excuse me?
13:51 - I know.
13:53 These crumpets keep coming up on me too.
13:55 (burps)
13:56 Excuse me.
13:57 So what about it?
13:58 How about giving Miss Robertson a full-time job?
14:02 - I'm sorry, Mr. Anderson, but we just can't afford it.
14:06 - Howler in here is just a little, uh...
14:09 How would the Bard put this?
14:10 Oh, yeah. Cheap!
14:12 - Hey, never!
14:13 - But I know someone who might be able to use you full-time.
14:16 Make some rail dough, huh?
14:18 - That would be smashing.
14:21 - My pal's son runs the Cedar Knoll Military Academy.
14:25 Would that interest you?
14:26 - Would it?
14:28 - I love men in uniform.
14:30 - Let me see what I can do.
14:32 - Here's to you, Mr. Anderson.
14:35 - Now, here's to you, Miss Robertson.
14:38 - Please.
14:41 (sonnerie)
14:43 (sonnerie)
14:44 - Oh!
14:45 - Oh, come on! I hate him!
14:47 - He's back!
14:49 - Well, it's nice to see you too.
14:53 - What are you doing here?
14:55 - Good news.
14:56 I passed my stone.
14:59 - Where's Miss Robertson?
15:01 - She's moved on.
15:03 Now, let's open our math books and begin.
15:07 - Yeah, Louie, way to go.
15:08 - What were you thinking?
15:10 - Geez, what'd I do?
15:12 - Monkey bar's 3.30, and don't be late.
15:15 - Ow!
15:16 - I'll set my watch.
15:18 (bell ringing)
15:19 (music playing)
15:22 - It's noogie time!
15:25 - Leave him alone.
15:27 - Why should I?
15:28 King Louie here got Miss Robertson fired!
15:31 - I did not!
15:33 - Why would Louie do a thing like that?
15:35 He worshipped her.
15:36 - Hey, I may have hung on every word she said,
15:39 but I did not worship her.
15:41 - Well, I heard his dad tell Mrs. Halloran
15:43 he wanted her executed.
15:45 - He did not.
15:46 Executed?
15:47 - Well, fired.
15:49 I was standing right outside her office.
15:51 I heard the whole thing!
15:53 - Good enough, Glen Glen.
15:55 - Ah! Escape from the jaws of death!
15:57 - Miss Robertson!
16:00 You came back!
16:01 - Well, just to get my belongings.
16:03 - So you are leaving.
16:05 - Oh, I don't want to,
16:07 but they've offered me a full-time job
16:09 at the military academy.
16:10 - Great! That's where I'm going when I get out of this place.
16:13 - Of course you'll be 21 by then.
16:16 - Where's my little Romeo?
16:18 - Musclehead here chased him off.
16:20 (door opening)
16:22 - What's the matter, Louie?
16:24 - Dad got Miss Robertson fired!
16:27 - He what?
16:28 - Hey, sport, how was school today?
16:30 What's the matter?
16:32 The cat got your tongue?
16:33 - Not too brute.
16:35 - Hey!
16:36 What do you call me names for?
16:39 What do you call me?
16:40 - You got my favorite teacher fired!
16:42 - Your father did no such thing.
16:44 Did you?
16:46 - I like to think of it as guiding her career.
16:49 - I knew it. You ruined my life!
16:51 Who's gonna teach me Shakespeare now?
16:54 - Wow, that kid really loves his Shakespeare.
16:57 - It's not Shakespeare he loves.
17:00 You know, Louie, everyone gets a crush on a teacher
17:03 at least once in their lives.
17:05 - I don't have a crush on her.
17:07 - It's hard when someone you like so much
17:09 has to go away, isn't it?
17:11 - Why couldn't Mr. Lambert be the one who got fired?
17:14 It can't be Romeo if he's Juliet.
17:17 - I remember when my favorite art teacher left.
17:20 I thought I would never enjoy life drawing again.
17:24 But after a short time, I noticed my drawings
17:26 became richer and more complicated.
17:29 - And this somehow relates to me.
17:32 - The truth is, I remembered what he taught me
17:35 long after he was gone.
17:37 - And, Mom, the point is...
17:39 - Well, I wouldn't be surprised at all
17:41 if Shakespeare became your favorite author.
17:44 - Even without Miss Robertson?
17:46 - Because of Miss Robertson.
17:48 - Hello, Miss Day. How are you doing?
17:50 - Hey! How you doing there, Army brat?
17:53 - How's your shelter coming along?
17:55 You love my dad.
17:56 - Miss Robertson, I'm sorry my dad got you fired.
17:59 - Your dad give me the old heave-ho?
18:01 Blimey, not at all.
18:03 - He didn't?
18:04 - No. He got me hired at the academy.
18:08 Full-time and everything.
18:09 - But I thought... - Oh, no, Louie.
18:12 Mr. Lambert was coming back as soon as he got well anyway.
18:15 Your dad has been a great help to me.
18:18 - My dad?
18:19 - I hope you're gonna keep reading Shakespeare.
18:21 - I don't know.
18:23 Sometimes he's a little hard to understand.
18:25 - I'll tell you what.
18:26 Anytime you get stuck, you just come round the academy,
18:29 and we'll figure it out together.
18:31 How's that? - You mean it?
18:33 - Absolutely.
18:35 Toss me in the Thames if I don't.
18:37 Here.
18:38 - "To my favorite king, Louie I."
18:43 Whoa!
18:45 Thanks, Miss Robertson.
18:47 - You're welcome, Louie.
18:48 And thanks again to you, Mr. A.
18:50 - So long, Brad.
18:52 Parting is such sweet sorrow.
18:54 - That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
18:57 - (Rire)
18:58 Not bad, Mr. A.
19:00 - Ta-ta for now.
19:01 - You've been reading Shakespeare?
19:03 - Sure, I thought any fellow who wrote a book about war
19:06 was worth taking a peek at.
19:08 - Sorry, Dad.
19:10 I should have known you wouldn't have done anything
19:12 to hurt Miss Robertson.
19:13 - She's a real peach.
19:15 Makes pretty weak coffee, though.
19:17 So, you ready to help the old man with the shelter?
19:20 - Well, Dad, I was kind of thinking...
19:22 - We can go down to the donut shop after.
19:26 - There's a wise father who knows his own child.
19:30 - You got that right, kid.
19:31 - Dad and I finished the bomb shelter that afternoon.
19:34 There's nothing like a good incentive.
19:36 Thankfully, we never had to use it.
19:38 In fact, two weeks later, we turned it into a pool.
19:42 - Annie, my pool's clean.
19:44 - When thou diggest in thine own backyard,
19:47 yon hole is always best suited for a swimming pool.
19:50 And that's not Shakespeare.
19:51 That's Louis Anderson.
19:53 - Knock off the horseplay!
19:55 - I am, uh, Nora.
19:58 You're not listening to me.
20:01 Time to have the shower.
20:03 (panting)
20:05 Hey, what are you trying to do, burn me?
20:12 Hey, that feels pretty good.
20:14 (groans)