Pygmalion (1938)-SD

Windy Channel

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00:14:49 As you see my dear pig, the human ear is a perfect recording and amplifying apparatus.

00:14:53 Well, tired of listening to sounds?

00:14:59 Amazing.

00:15:01 Do you know I rather fancied myself because I could pronounce 24 distinct vowel sounds.

00:15:07 Your 130 beat me, I can't hear any difference between most of them.

00:15:12 Oh, it comes from practice, you know.

00:15:15 Do you know I rather fancied myself because I could pronounce 24 distinct vowel sounds.

00:15:19 Good heavens.

00:15:20 Your 130 beat me, I can't hear any difference between most of them.

00:15:23 Conceal microphone.

00:15:25 For unsuspecting victims.

00:15:28 What is it Mrs. Pierce?

00:15:30 It's a young woman wants to see you sir.

00:15:32 Young woman, what she wants?

00:15:33 She says you'll be glad when you know what she's come about.

00:15:35 She's a very common girl sir.

00:15:37 I'd have got rid of her only you see such queer people sometimes.

00:15:40 All right, has she an interesting accent?

00:15:42 Just dreadful sir.

00:15:44 Good, show her up at once.

00:15:46 You know this is really a bit of luck.

00:15:52 Well, instead of talking I'll take it down in my phonetic shorthand.

00:15:55 Now we'll get her on the machine.

00:15:57 You can turn her on as often as you like.

00:15:59 Come away.

00:16:00 Here's the young woman sir.

00:16:02 Oh, it's you.

00:16:06 Oh, she's no use.

00:16:08 I've got all the records I want with the Listen Globe lingo.

00:16:10 Be off with you, I don't want you.

00:16:12 Don't you be so saucy.

00:16:14 You ain't heard what I come for yet.

00:16:16 Did you tell him I come in a taxi?

00:16:19 Do you think a gentleman like Mr. Higgins cares what you came in?

00:16:21 We are proud aren't we?

00:16:23 Well, he ain't above giving lessons, not him heard him say so.

00:16:26 And if my money's not good enough I can go elsewhere.

00:16:28 Good enough for what?

00:16:30 Good enough for you.

00:16:31 So now you know don't you?

00:16:33 I'm come to have lessons I am.

00:16:37 And to pay for them too, make no mistake.

00:16:39 Well, I say pickering.

00:16:42 Shall we ask this object to sit down or shall we throw her out of the window?

00:16:46 I won't be called an object when I've offered to pay like any lady.

00:16:49 What is it you want my dear?

00:16:51 I want to be a lady in a flower shop instead of selling in Piddly Circus.

00:16:55 They won't take me unless I can talk more genteel.

00:16:58 What he said he could teach me.

00:17:01 Here I am, I'm ready to pay, I'm not asking any favours.

00:17:04 And he treats me as if I was dirt.

00:17:07 I know what lessons cost and I'm ready to pay.

00:17:10 How much?

00:17:12 And now you're talking.

00:17:14 I thought you'd come off it when you saw a chance of getting back a bit of the money you checked at me last night.

00:17:18 You'd had a drop, hadn't you?

00:17:20 Sit down.

00:17:21 What? If you're going to make a compliment of it.

00:17:24 Sit down. What's your name?

00:17:26 Eliza Doolittle.

00:17:29 Won't you sit down, Miss Doolittle?

00:17:31 I don't mind if I do.

00:17:35 How much do you propose to pay me for the lessons?

00:17:38 I want no odds rights.

00:17:40 A lady friend of mine, she gets French lessons at 18pence an hour from a real French gentleman.

00:17:45 Well you wouldn't have the nerve to ask the same for teaching me my own language as what you would for French.

00:17:50 So I won't give you more than a shilling.

00:17:52 Take it or leave it.

00:17:54 I, um, I'll take it.

00:17:58 You know Pickering, a shilling to this lady is a good thing.

00:18:02 You know Pickering, a shilling to this girl is worth 60 or 70 pounds to a millionaire.

00:18:07 It's handsome, it's enormous, it's the biggest offer I've ever had.

00:18:10 60 pounds? What are you talking about? I never offered you 60 pounds.

00:18:13 - Oh you can't. - Well I ain't got 60 pounds.

00:18:15 Oh dear, nobody's going to touch your money.

00:18:17 Somebody's going to touch you with a broomstick if you don't stop snivelling. Sit down, will you?

00:18:20 Sure, anyone would think he was my father.

00:18:22 He didn't. I'm interested.

00:18:24 What about that boast of yours that you could pass her off as a duchess at an ambassador's reception?

00:18:28 Well, what about it?

00:18:29 I'll pay you the greatest teacher alive if you make that good.

00:18:32 I'll bet you all the expenses of the experiment you can't do it.

00:18:35 And I'll pay for the lessons.

00:18:36 Oh, you're real good.

00:18:38 - Come here. - Oh, thank you, Captain.

00:18:40 Come here, sit down.

00:18:43 This is almost irresistible.

00:18:48 She's so deliciously low.

00:18:51 So horribly dirty.

00:18:53 Oh, I ain't dirty.

00:18:56 I wash my face and hands before I come out, did.

00:18:58 I shall make her duchess of this draggle-tailed gutter-snipe.

00:19:01 Oh!

00:19:03 In six months, in three, if she has a good ear and a quick tongue, I'll take her anywhere and pass her off as anything.

00:19:08 We start today, now, this minute.

00:19:10 Mrs. Pierce, take her away and clean her. Take off all her clothes and burn them.

00:19:13 Ring up and order some new ones. Wrap her up in brown paper till they come.

00:19:17 You're no gentleman, you ain't, to talk of such things.

00:19:19 I'm a good girl, I am. And I know what the likes of you are, I do.

00:19:22 We want none of your slum-proudry here, young woman. You've got to learn to behave like a duchess.

00:19:26 Take her away, Mrs. Pierce. If she gives any trouble, wallop her.

00:19:28 Now, call the police on her.

00:19:29 I've no place to put her.

00:19:30 Put her in the ash can.

00:19:31 You can't take a girl up like that, as if you were picking a pebble off the beach.

00:19:34 Why not?

00:19:35 She may be married.

00:19:36 There you are, as the girl very promptly says, "Gah!"

00:19:38 Who would marry me?

00:19:39 By George Eliza, before I'm done with you, the streets will be strewn with the bodies of men shooting themselves for your sake.

00:19:45 Oh, yeah, he's obviously chump, he is. I'm going. I don't want no loonies teaching me.

00:19:49 Oh, I'm mad, am I? Very well, Mrs. Pierce, don't order those things. Throw her out.

00:19:52 Stop, Mr. Higgins. I won't allow it. Go home to your mother, girl.

00:19:55 I ain't got no mother.

00:19:56 There you are, she ain't got no mother. Very well, then the girl doesn't belong to anybody. She's no use to anybody but me.

00:20:01 What's to become of her? Is she to be paid anything? Do be sensible, Mr. Higgins.

00:20:04 Now, what on earth would she do with money? She'll get her food and her clothes. She'll only drink if you give her money.

00:20:08 It's a lie. Nobody ever saw the sign of liquor on me.

00:20:11 Doesn't it occur to you, Higgins, that the girl has some feelings?

00:20:14 Oh, I don't think so.

00:20:15 Have you, Eliza?

00:20:17 I got my feelings the same as anywhere else.

00:20:19 You see the difficulty, Pickering?

00:20:21 What difficulty?

00:20:22 To get her to talk grammar.

00:20:23 I don't want to talk grammar. I want to talk like a lady.

00:20:26 Will you please keep to the point, Mr. Higgins?

00:20:28 What's to become of her when you've finished with her teaching?

00:20:30 What's to become of her if we leave her in the gutter?

00:20:32 That's her business, not yours, Mr. Higgins.

00:20:33 Well, when we've finished with her, we throw her back in the gutter.

00:20:35 You've no feeling art in you. You haven't.

00:20:38 I'm going away. I've had enough of this.

00:20:40 You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

00:20:42 Hey, hey, hey, Eliza.

00:20:44 Eliza.

00:20:46 Come here, Eliza. Here, here, here.

00:20:48 Here, Eliza.

00:20:50 Have a chocolate, Eliza.

00:20:56 How do I know what might be in them?

00:20:58 Have heard of girls being drugged by the like of you?

00:21:00 Oh, you had your good faith, Eliza.

00:21:03 Oh, I wouldn't have liked it.

00:21:05 Only I'm too lazy like so it doesn't mean much.

00:21:07 You shall have boxes of them, Eliza.

00:21:09 You shall live on them.

00:21:11 Now listen to me, Eliza.

00:21:16 You're going to live here for six months

00:21:18 and learn to speak beautifully like a lady in a forest shop.

00:21:21 If you're good and do whatever you're told,

00:21:23 you shall sleep in a proper bedroom,

00:21:25 have lots to eat,

00:21:27 money to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis.

00:21:30 If you're naughty and idle,

00:21:33 you shall sleep in the back kitchen among the Black Beatles

00:21:36 and be walloped by Mrs. Pierce with a broomstick.

00:21:39 At the end of six months, you shall go to Buckingham Palace

00:21:43 in a carriage, beautifully dressed.

00:21:46 If the king finds out you're not a lady,

00:21:50 you will be taken by the guards to the Tower of London

00:21:52 where your head will be cut off

00:21:54 as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls.

00:21:57 But if you are not found out,

00:21:59 you will receive a present of seven and sixpence

00:22:02 to start life with as a lady in a shop.

00:22:04 If you refuse this offer,

00:22:06 you will be a most ungrateful and wicked girl

00:22:09 and the angels will weep for you.

00:22:13 Now are you satisfied, Pickering?

00:22:15 Can I put it more fairly, Mrs. Pierce?

00:22:17 Bundle her off to the bathroom.

00:22:19 You're a great bully, you are.

00:22:21 I won't stay here if I don't like it.

00:22:23 I never asked to go to Buckingham Palace. I didn't.

00:22:25 If I'd known what I was letting myself in for,

00:22:27 I wouldn't have come here. I wouldn't be a good girl.

00:22:29 Go away!

00:22:30 Dirty! You washed my face and hands before I come, aren't you?

00:22:33 I shall make a duchess of this draggle-tailed gutter-snag.

00:22:36 Oh!

00:22:37 Oh, no, take that! I've never had a bath in my life!

00:22:39 Not what you call a proper bath!

00:22:41 Nonsense, Eliza.

00:22:42 Don't you want to be sweet and clean and decent like a lady?

00:22:45 You know you can't be a good girl inside if you're a duck to girl outside.

00:22:48 Now, I'll wait in your room and take off all your clothes.

00:22:50 Oh, Mother Puddin's a tough and decent!

00:22:52 Nonsense, Carol.

00:22:53 Don't you take off all your clothes every night before you go to your bed?

00:22:56 No. Why should I?

00:22:58 I'd catch me death.

00:22:59 I'll take off me skirts.

00:23:01 Eliza, now be a good child.

00:23:03 No! No! No!

00:23:05 Now go and take your things off at once and come back to me.

00:23:07 If I knew what was happening,

00:23:08 you must have been clean after the mirror!

00:23:10 I didn't know when I was well off or I didn't!

00:23:13 It ain't decent!

00:23:15 Oh!

00:23:17 (HORN HONKING)

00:23:20 (HORN HONKING)

00:23:46 (ALL TALKING AT ONCE)

00:23:49 Now, come away and tell me if the water's hot enough.

00:24:05 No, Mrs Peele, don't!

00:24:06 No! No!

00:24:08 No, Mrs Peele, stop it! I'm getting weak!

00:24:10 This has never happened to me before!

00:24:12 Oh, now, stop!

00:24:14 (SCREAMING)

00:24:16 Oh, help! Help!

00:24:18 Oh, I've never been treated like this before!

00:24:21 Stop it! Help!

00:24:24 (SCREAMING)

00:24:26 Help!

00:24:28 (SCREAMING)

00:24:30 Higgins, excuse the straight question,

00:24:40 but are you a man of good character where women are concerned?

00:24:45 Have you ever known a man of good character where women are concerned?

00:24:48 Yes, very frequently.

00:24:50 Well, I haven't. I find...

00:24:52 Breakfast is ready, sir.

00:24:54 I find that the moment I let a woman make friends with me,

00:24:56 she becomes jealous, exacting and a confounded nuisance.

00:24:59 So I'm a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain one.

00:25:02 Coffee? Thanks.

00:25:04 You know what I mean.

00:25:06 I've always understood that no advantage is to be taken of her position.

00:25:10 What, that thing?

00:25:12 Sacred, I assure you.

00:25:14 I've taught scores of American millionaires to speak English.

00:25:17 The best-looking women in the world, I'm seasoned.

00:25:20 They might just as well be blocks of wood.

00:25:23 Excuse me, Mr Higgins.

00:25:27 I'd like to trouble you, if I may. Yes?

00:25:31 Will you be very particular of what you see before the girl?

00:25:34 I'm always particular about what I say.

00:25:36 Oh, no, sir. It doesn't matter before me. I'm used to it.

00:25:39 But you really must not swear before the girl.

00:25:42 I never swear. What the devil do you mean?

00:25:44 That's what I mean.

00:25:46 I don't mind your damning and your blasting...

00:25:48 Mrs Pierce.

00:25:50 ...but there's a certain word I must ask you not to use.

00:25:52 The girl used it in the bath because the water was too hot.

00:25:55 It begins with the same letter as "bath".

00:25:57 I cannot charge myself with ever having uttered it.

00:26:00 Except perhaps in moments of extreme and justifiable excitement.

00:26:03 Only this morning, sir, you applied it to the boots, the butter and to the brown bread.

00:26:08 Oh, that. A mere alliteration. Natural to a poet.

00:26:11 Is that all?

00:26:12 No, sir.

00:26:13 You'll have to be very particular with this girl as to her personal cleanliness.

00:26:17 Yes, certainly, certainly. Most important.

00:26:19 Might I ask you not to come down to breakfast in your dressing gown...

00:26:23 ...or not to use it as a table napkin if you do.

00:26:26 And will you please remember not to put the porridge saucepan onto the clean tablecloth.

00:26:31 I hope you're not offended, sir.

00:26:33 No, not at all. Not at all, Mrs Pierce.

00:26:36 Is that all?

00:26:37 Oh, no, sir.

00:26:38 I really don't think I can put the girl back into these.

00:26:42 Might she wear one of those Chinese garments you brought back from abroad?

00:26:46 Certainly, certainly.

00:26:48 What the devil's that?

00:26:50 Oh, don't burn that. We'll keep that as a souvenir.

00:26:53 (LAUGHS)

00:26:54 You know, that woman has the most extraordinary ideas about me.

00:27:02 Here am I a shy, diffident sort of man.

00:27:05 Yet she's firmly persuaded that I'm a bossy, arbitrary, overbearing kind of person.

00:27:10 How do you account for that?

00:27:11 I can't imagine.

00:27:12 I can't imagine either.

00:27:14 I'm afraid I've got to tell you, sir, that the trouble's beginning already.

00:27:17 There's a dustman outside, Alfred Doolittle.

00:27:20 He says you've got his daughter here.

00:27:22 I don't like the looks of him, sir.

00:27:24 Throw the blackguard in.

00:27:25 He may not be a blackguard.

00:27:26 Of course he's a blackguard.

00:27:28 We may get something interesting out of him.

00:27:30 What about the girl?

00:27:31 No, no, I mean his dialect.

00:27:33 Doolittle, sir.

00:27:34 Professor Higgins?

00:27:45 Here. Good morning.

00:27:47 Sit down.

00:27:50 Morning, Governor.

00:27:52 I've come about a very serious matter, Governor.

00:27:55 Brought up in Hounslow. Mother Welsh, I should imagine.

00:27:58 What do you want, Doolittle?

00:28:01 I want my daughter. That's what I want.

00:28:04 Well, of course you do.

00:28:06 I'm glad to see you have some spark of family feeling left.

00:28:10 Your daughter's upstairs.

00:28:12 Here. Take it away at once.

00:28:14 What?

00:28:16 Ah, look here, Governor. Is this reasonable?

00:28:19 Is it fairity?

00:28:20 The girl belongs to me.

00:28:22 You've got her.

00:28:24 Where do I come in?

00:28:26 How dare you come here and try to blackmail me?

00:28:28 You sent her here on purpose.

00:28:30 No, Governor.

00:28:31 This is a plot. A plant.

00:28:32 An attempt to extort money by threats.

00:28:34 I shall telephone the police.

00:28:35 Have I asked you for a brass farm?

00:28:37 I'll leave it to the gentleman here.

00:28:40 Have I said a word about money?

00:28:42 What else did you come for?

00:28:43 Well, I'll tell you if you don't let me get a word in.

00:28:45 I'm willing to tell you.

00:28:48 I'm wanting to tell you.

00:28:50 I'm waiting to tell you.

00:28:52 You know, Pickering, this fellow has a certain natural gift of rhetoric.

00:28:55 Observe the rhythm of his native wood notes wild.

00:28:58 I'm willing to tell you.

00:28:59 I'm wanting to tell you.

00:29:01 I'm waiting to tell you.

00:29:03 There's a Welsh strain in him.

00:29:04 How do you know the girl's here if you didn't send her?

00:29:06 Well, she sent back for her luggage, Governor.

00:29:08 And I heard about it.

00:29:09 Luggage? What luggage?

00:29:10 There was a musical instrument,

00:29:13 a few pictures,

00:29:14 a trifle of jewellery,

00:29:17 and a bird guide.

00:29:19 Hello.

00:29:20 She said as I was she didn't want no clothes.

00:29:23 What was I to think from that?

00:29:26 I ask you as a parent, what was I to think?

00:29:30 So you came to rescue her from worse than death?

00:29:32 Yes, that's right.

00:29:34 Mrs. Pierce, this is Eliza's father.

00:29:37 He's come to rescue her from worse than death.

00:29:39 Give her to him.

00:29:42 No, no, I...

00:29:43 Take her away, Mr. Higgins.

00:29:44 How can he?

00:29:45 He told me to burn all her clothes.

00:29:47 That's right.

00:29:48 I can't carry the girl through the streets

00:29:50 as if she was a blooming monkey, can I?

00:29:52 Where's the clothes she come in?

00:29:54 Did I burn them, or did your missus here?

00:29:57 Listen, Governor,

00:30:00 you and me, we are men of the world, aren't we?

00:30:04 Oh, we're men of the world, are we?

00:30:06 You'd better go, Mrs. Pierce.

00:30:07 I should think so indeed.

00:30:09 The floor is yours, doolittle.

00:30:11 I thank you kindly, Governor.

00:30:13 Tell you the truth,

00:30:15 I've taken a sort of fancy to you.

00:30:17 Well, then.

00:30:18 And if you want the girl,

00:30:22 I'm not so certain having her back home

00:30:24 as to what we might be hoping to in an arrangement.

00:30:27 Regarding the light of a young woman,

00:30:29 she's a fine, handsome girl.

00:30:31 As a daughter, she ain't worth a keep,

00:30:33 I tell you straight.

00:30:35 All I asked from you is my rights as a father.

00:30:38 And you're the last man in the world to expect me

00:30:40 to let a girl for nothing.

00:30:41 You're one of the straight sort you are.

00:30:43 Oh, I can see that.

00:30:44 Well,

00:30:46 what's a five pound note to you?

00:30:49 And what's Eliza to me?

00:30:52 I think you ought to know, Mr. Doolittle,

00:30:57 Mr. Higgins' intentions are entirely honorable.

00:30:59 Of course they are, Governor. Of course they are.

00:31:01 If I thought they wasn't, I'd ask 50.

00:31:04 Why, you callous rascal.

00:31:06 Do you mean to say you'd sell your daughter for 50 pounds?

00:31:09 No, no, not in a general sort of way, I wouldn't.

00:31:12 But to oblige a gentleman like you, I'd do a good deal, I do assure you.

00:31:16 Have you no morals, man?

00:31:18 I can't afford 'em, Governor.

00:31:20 Well, neither could you if you was as poor as me.

00:31:24 I don't mean no harm.

00:31:27 But if Eliza's going to have a bit out of this,

00:31:29 well, why not me too?

00:31:31 It's a matter of morals, you know.

00:31:33 It's a positive crime to give this chap a farthing.

00:31:35 But I do feel there's a sort of rough justice in his claim.

00:31:37 That's right, Governor. That's all I say.

00:31:39 It's a father's art, as it were.

00:31:41 Well, I know the feeling, yet it hardly seems right.

00:31:43 No, no, don't look at it that way, Governor.

00:31:45 What am I, Governor's Welf?

00:31:48 I ask you, what am I?

00:31:50 Well, what are you?

00:31:51 I'm one of the undeserving poor.

00:31:53 That's what I am.

00:31:55 Well, think. Think what that means to a man.

00:31:57 It means he's up against middle-class morality all the time.

00:32:01 If there's anything going, I puts in for a bit of it.

00:32:06 It's always the same story.

00:32:08 You're undeserving, so you can't have any.

00:32:11 And yet my needs is as great as the most deserving widder's.

00:32:15 They'd never got money out of six different charities in one week

00:32:18 for the death of the same husband.

00:32:20 I don't need less than the deserving man, I need more.

00:32:23 I don't eat less heartily than he does.

00:32:25 And I drink a lot more.

00:32:28 So I puts it to you as two gentlemen down, down, play that game on me.

00:32:31 I'm playing straight with you.

00:32:33 I ain't pretending to be deserving, I'm undeserving.

00:32:36 And I mean to go on being undeserving, and likes it.

00:32:39 Sit down, do a little.

00:32:41 Would you tie into a man the price of his own daughter?

00:32:48 What he's brought up, he's fed,

00:32:51 he's clothed by the sweat of his brow,

00:32:54 until she grow big enough to be interesting to you two gentlemen.

00:33:02 It's five pounds unreasonable.

00:33:05 I puts it to you, I leaves it to you.

00:33:09 Pickering.

00:33:10 Here, shall we give him a fiver?

00:33:12 He'll make bad use of it, I'm afraid.

00:33:14 No, no, sweat me, don't be frightened.

00:33:16 I shan't save it, spare it, I live hard on it.

00:33:19 There won't be a penny of it left for Monday.

00:33:21 Just one good spree for myself and the, the missus.

00:33:26 This is irresistible. Come on, let's give him ten.

00:33:29 No, no, thank you, kind again.

00:33:31 Ten pounds is a lot of money.

00:33:33 Makes a man feel prudent-like, and then goodbye to happiness.

00:33:37 Just give me what I ask, governor.

00:33:40 Not a penny more, not a penny less.

00:33:42 You're sure, you're sure you won't take ten?

00:33:45 No, not now, governor.

00:33:47 Come on, come on, come on.

00:33:48 No, another time, folks. Thank you kindly, governor.

00:33:51 Thank you, governors both.

00:33:56 Pardon, miss.

00:33:58 Garn, don't you know your own daughter?

00:34:01 Blimey, it's Eliza.

00:34:03 I never thought she'd clean up so good-looking.

00:34:08 She's a credit to me, ain't she, governor?

00:34:11 She'll soon pick up your free and easy ways.

00:34:14 Yeah, I'm a good girl, I am.

00:34:16 And I won't pick up no free and easy ways.

00:34:18 Eliza, if you say again you're a good girl, your father shall take you home.

00:34:21 You don't know my father.

00:34:22 All he come here for was to touch you for some money to get drunk on.

00:34:25 Well, what else would I want money for?

00:34:27 Put in the plight in church, I suppose?

00:34:29 Don't you give me none of your lip.

00:34:32 Don't let me hear you giving any of these gentlemen either.

00:34:35 You'll hear from me about it. See?

00:34:37 Have you any further advice to give her, doolittle, before you go?

00:34:39 Your blessing, for instance?

00:34:41 No, governor, not me.

00:34:43 I'm not such a muggers to put up my kids to all I know myself.

00:34:46 If you want Eliza's mind, improve, governor.

00:34:48 Do it yourself. With a strap.

00:34:51 Well, so long, gentlemen.

00:34:54 (door opens)

00:34:56 Who?

00:35:14 Ah. Ah. Like father.

00:35:20 E. E as in machine.

00:35:24 Repeat after me. A. A.

00:35:33 A. A.

00:35:35 The rain in Spain.

00:35:37 The rain in Spain.

00:35:39 Stays mainly in the plains.

00:35:41 Stays mainly in the plains.

00:35:43 The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains.

00:35:47 The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains.

00:35:51 Now, Eliza, you see these three marbles?

00:35:58 I want you to put them in your mouth.

00:36:00 Yes. One, two, three.

00:36:03 Now, don't be alarmed. It's just an exercise.

00:36:06 Now, then, repeat slowly after me.

00:36:08 The shallow depression in the west of these islands

00:36:10 is likely to move slowly in a westerly direction.

00:36:14 The shallow depression in the west of these islands

00:36:17 is likely to move...

00:36:19 No, I've swallowed one.

00:36:23 Don't worry. We have plenty more.

00:36:25 The shallow depression in the west of these islands

00:36:27 is likely to move slowly in a more easterly direction.

00:36:31 Hampshire, Hereford, Harford.

00:36:34 Hampshire, Hereford. Go, Lummi, it jumps.

00:36:37 So it will, Eliza, every time you say "ha" correctly.

00:36:40 Now, then, try once again.

00:36:42 In Hampshire, Hereford and Harford,

00:36:44 hurricanes hardly ever happen.

00:36:47 In Hampshire, Hereford, Harford,

00:36:50 hurricanes hardly ever happen.

00:36:53 Hardly ever happen.

00:36:55 Hardly ever happen.

00:37:00 [music]

00:37:04 [music]

00:37:30 How do you do?

00:37:32 Bad, bad, bad.

00:37:34 Do it again. You aren't trying. Do it again.

00:37:36 Oh.

00:37:38 That's not good, Eliza.

00:37:40 It's not bad.

00:37:42 Now's the time to try her out on somebody.

00:37:44 Well, uh...

00:37:45 I know. My mother.

00:37:47 Henry.

00:37:50 Hello, dear.

00:37:51 What are you doing here today?

00:37:52 This is my at-home day.

00:37:54 You promised not to come.

00:37:55 Oh, bother.

00:37:56 Go home at once.

00:37:58 But I've just come here on purpose.

00:37:59 You see, dear, I've picked up a girl.

00:38:00 You mean a girl has picked you up?

00:38:01 No, no, no, no. This isn't a love affair.

00:38:02 Oh, what a pity.

00:38:03 Why?

00:38:04 You never fall in love with anyone under 45.

00:38:06 Oh, I can't waste my time with young women.

00:38:08 They're all such idiots anyhow.

00:38:10 You know what to do if you really love me, Henry.

00:38:13 Get married, I suppose.

00:38:14 No.

00:38:15 Stop fidgeting.

00:38:17 And take your hands out of your pockets.

00:38:19 Don't sit on that table.

00:38:21 You'll break it.

00:38:23 Come and tell me about the girl.

00:38:25 Look here. She's coming to see you this afternoon.

00:38:28 Really?

00:38:29 I don't remember asking her.

00:38:30 No, you didn't, and you wouldn't have if you'd known her.

00:38:32 Indeed? Why?

00:38:33 She's just a common flower girl.

00:38:35 I picked her up in Covent Garden.

00:38:36 You've asked her here?

00:38:38 Oh, don't worry.

00:38:39 I've taught her to speak properly.

00:38:40 She'll stick to two subjects only,

00:38:42 the weather and everybody's health.

00:38:43 You know, fine day, how to do and all that.

00:38:45 Oh, that's a blessing anyway.

00:38:47 Well, it is, and it isn't.

00:38:51 Now, what do you mean by that?

00:38:53 You see, dear, I've got her pronunciation all right,

00:38:56 but you've got to consider not only how the girl pronounces,

00:38:58 but what she pronounces.

00:38:59 Mrs. and Miss Ainsworth Hill, Mr. Ainsworth Hill.

00:39:02 Oh, heavens.

00:39:03 So good of you to come.

00:39:05 My dear, my dear.

00:39:06 Freddie.

00:39:07 Hi, dear dear.

00:39:08 You know my son.

00:39:09 Oh.

00:39:10 My son, Henry.

00:39:12 Miss Hill.

00:39:15 Delighted.

00:39:16 Mrs. Hill.

00:39:17 Enchanted.

00:39:18 Mr. Hill.

00:39:19 Thank you.

00:39:20 Your celebrated son.

00:39:21 I've always so longed to meet you, Professor Higgins.

00:39:23 But I've seen your face somewhere before.

00:39:24 I haven't the ghost of an ocean where.

00:39:26 Well, it doesn't really matter. Sit down.

00:39:28 Mother, look here.

00:39:29 I'm sorry to say my celebrated son has no manners.

00:39:31 You mustn't mind him.

00:39:33 I don't.

00:39:34 Colonel Pickering.

00:39:35 How do you do, Mrs. Higgins?

00:39:36 The Reverend from Mrs. Birchwood.

00:39:38 What, more of them?

00:39:40 How do you do?

00:39:42 Flicker.

00:39:43 Have you told your mother what she's come for?

00:39:44 No, we were interrupted, dammit.

00:39:46 Oh, are we in the way?

00:39:47 No, not at all.

00:39:48 No, by George, we need two or three extra people.

00:39:51 You'll do.

00:39:52 You'll do as well as anyone else.

00:39:53 Sit down.

00:39:54 Will you excuse me?

00:39:55 Colonel Pickering.

00:39:56 Henry.

00:39:58 What are you doing in my hat?

00:40:00 Colonel Pickering, I must know.

00:40:02 What is the exact position in Wilminghole Street?

00:40:04 Is this girl a servant?

00:40:05 If not, what is she?

00:40:06 Major Mrs. Rawcross.

00:40:08 My dear Mrs. Higgins, I really must tell you,

00:40:09 the whole thing is extraordinary.

00:40:11 Extraordinary.

00:40:12 My dear, this is the most absorbing experiment

00:40:13 I've ever tackled.

00:40:14 Yes, this girl regularly fills our lives, doesn't she, Peter?

00:40:16 Yes, you're always talking, Eliza.

00:40:17 Teaching Eliza.

00:40:18 Dressing Eliza.

00:40:19 What?

00:40:20 She has the most amazingly quick ear you've ever heard of.

00:40:21 Yes, just like a parrot.

00:40:22 My dear Mrs. Higgins, I assure you,

00:40:23 that girl is a genius.

00:40:24 She plays the piano.

00:40:25 I've taught her classical piano.

00:40:26 She's taken her to classical concerts.

00:40:27 She's been in all the dialects.

00:40:28 Everything in dialects.

00:40:29 Everything in dialects.

00:40:30 She plays everything she's heard,

00:40:31 whether it's Beethoven or Brahms, the art of life.

00:40:32 Six months ago, she'd spent as much as she'd ever been in her life.

00:40:34 You see?

00:40:35 Oh, yes, it's quite clear to me.

00:40:37 Miss Doolittle.

00:40:39 How do you do, Mrs. Higgins?

00:40:41 I'm so sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:43 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:44 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:45 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:46 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:47 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:48 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:49 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:50 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:51 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:52 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:53 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:54 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:55 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:56 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:57 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:58 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:40:59 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:00 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:01 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:02 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:03 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:04 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:05 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:06 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:07 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:08 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:09 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:10 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:11 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:12 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:13 I'm sorry, I've been out of order.

00:41:39 Mrs. Hill, Miss Doolittle.

00:41:43 I feel sure we've met before, Miss Doolittle.

00:41:45 I remember your eyes.

00:41:47 How do you do?

00:41:48 My Georges, it all comes back.

00:41:49 My daughter, Clara.

00:41:50 Come and go.

00:41:51 How do you do?

00:41:52 What a confounded thing.

00:41:53 My son, Freddie.

00:41:54 How do you do?

00:41:55 How do you do?

00:41:56 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:41:57 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:41:58 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:41:59 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:00 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:01 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:02 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:03 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:04 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:05 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:12 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:21 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:22 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:23 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:24 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:25 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:26 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:27 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:28 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:29 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:30 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:31 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:32 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:33 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:34 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:35 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:36 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:37 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:38 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:39 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:40 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:41 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:42 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:43 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:44 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:45 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:46 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:47 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:48 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:49 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:42:50 I'm sure I've had the pleasure of somewhere.

00:43:14 I do hope it won't turn cold.

00:43:26 There's so much influenza about.

00:43:28 It runs right through our family every spring.

00:43:31 My aunt died of influenza.

00:43:34 So they say.

00:43:38 But it is my belief as how they done the old woman in.

00:43:48 Done her in?

00:43:49 Yes, Lord love you.

00:43:51 Why should she die of influenza when she'd come through diphtheria right enough the year

00:43:55 before?

00:43:57 Perhaps it wasn't diphtheria.

00:43:58 You see, Vicar...

00:43:59 Oh, but I saw her with my own eyes.

00:44:03 Fairly blue with it she was.

00:44:07 They all thought she was dead.

00:44:09 But my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat till she come to so sudden that she

00:44:15 bit the bowl off the spoon.

00:44:17 Dear me!

00:44:18 Now, what call would a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza?

00:44:26 Ah.

00:44:27 And what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me?

00:44:32 Well?

00:44:33 What?

00:44:34 Somebody pinched it.

00:44:35 And what I says is, them what pinched it done her in.

00:44:44 Done her in?

00:44:45 Could you tell me?

00:44:47 No, just the new slang, Vicar.

00:44:50 But you surely don't believe that your aunt was killed, do I not?

00:44:56 Them she lived with would have killed her for a hat pin.

00:45:00 Let alone a hat.

00:45:01 But it couldn't have been right for your father to have poured spirits down her throat like

00:45:06 that.

00:45:07 Now, that might have killed her.

00:45:08 Not her.

00:45:09 Gin was mother's milk to her.

00:45:12 Besides, he'd poured so much down his own throat that he knew the good of it.

00:45:17 Oh, how terrible for you.

00:45:19 Oh, it never did him no harm what I could see.

00:45:22 He was always more agreeable when he had a drop in.

00:45:26 When he was out of work, my mother used to give him a two and a kick and tell him to

00:45:31 go out and not come home until he drunk himself cheerful and loving like.

00:45:36 Charming.

00:45:37 There's lots of women has to make their husbands drunk to make them fit to live with.

00:45:46 Here, what are you sniggering at?

00:45:51 The new slang.

00:45:52 You do it so awfully well.

00:45:54 If I was doing it proper, what was you laughing at?

00:45:58 Have I said anything I oughtn't?

00:46:02 No, not a thing, Miss Doolittle.

00:46:04 Well, that's a mercy anyhow.

00:46:08 What I always says is...

00:46:11 Ahem.

00:46:13 Well, I must go now.

00:46:23 Goodbye, Mrs. Higgins.

00:46:26 So glad to have met you.

00:46:28 Goodbye, my dear.

00:46:30 Goodbye, Vicar.

00:46:33 Goodbye, Colonel Pickering.

00:46:36 Goodbye, Miss Doolittle.

00:46:39 Good...

00:46:40 Goodbye, all.

00:46:42 Excuse me, Miss Doolittle, but would you be walking across the park?

00:46:47 Because if so, I...

00:46:48 Walk?

00:46:49 Not bloody likely.

00:46:50 I'm going in a taxi.

00:46:57 Oh, it's no use.

00:47:06 I shall never be able to bring myself to use that word.

00:47:10 Oh, don't.

00:47:12 It isn't compulsory, you know.

00:47:18 You can say what you like, but I was ashamed.

00:47:22 You ought never to have done it.

00:47:23 Oh, perhaps you were a bit hasty, but I'll soon put that right.

00:47:26 It's no use, Higgins.

00:47:27 You'll have to face it.

00:47:28 It isn't fair on the poor girl.

00:47:29 You'd better call the whole thing off.

00:47:32 Nonsense.

00:47:33 I said I'd pass the guttersnipe off as a Duchess, and pass her off as a Duchess I will.

00:47:37 Here.

00:47:38 You see that?

00:47:39 It's an invitation from the Transylvanian Embassy.

00:47:42 I'm going to take her there.

00:47:43 You're mad.

00:47:44 I tell you, Pick, that girl can do anything.

00:47:46 Eliza!

00:47:47 Eliza!

00:47:48 Stop snivelling, girl.

00:47:49 Eliza, shall I give you another chance?

00:47:50 Will you work?

00:47:51 Good.

00:47:52 No, no, no.

00:47:53 Do it again.

00:47:54 I'll try.

00:47:55 No, no, no.

00:47:56 I've told you 500 times.

00:47:57 You drive me mad, girl.

00:47:58 Come, Higgins, be reasonable.

00:47:59 Once more.

00:48:00 No, no, no.

00:48:01 I'll try.

00:48:02 No, no, no.

00:48:03 I've told you 500 times.

00:48:04 You drive me mad, girl.

00:48:05 Come, Higgins, be reasonable.

00:48:06 Once more.

00:48:07 No, no, no.

00:48:08 I'll try.

00:48:09 No, no, no.

00:48:10 I've told you 500 times.

00:48:11 You drive me mad, girl.

00:48:12 Come, Higgins, be reasonable.

00:48:13 Once more.

00:48:14 No, no, no.

00:48:15 I'll try.

00:48:16 Once more.

00:48:17 No.

00:48:18 I'm Mr. Freddy Hill to see Miss Doolittle.

00:48:23 I'll enquire, sir.

00:48:25 Thanks.

00:48:26 Throw him out.

00:48:27 Now listen, Eliza.

00:48:29 She's engaged.

00:48:30 Miss Doolittle.

00:48:31 Off.

00:48:32 Why can't you do it like this?

00:48:33 He's here again.

00:48:34 Throw him out.

00:48:46 Throw him out.

00:48:47 Come on, now.

00:48:48 Both together.

00:48:49 One, two, three.

00:48:50 That's better.

00:48:51 Now listen carefully, Eliza.

00:48:52 How kind of you to let me come.

00:48:53 Now listen.

00:48:54 Say it.

00:48:55 I'm not going to let you go.

00:48:56 I'm not going to let you go.

00:48:57 I'm not going to let you go.

00:48:58 I'm not going to let you go.

00:48:59 I'm not going to let you go.

00:49:00 I'm not going to let you go.

00:49:01 I'm not going to let you go.

00:49:02 I'm not going to let you go.

00:49:03 Say it.

00:49:04 How kind of you to let me come.

00:49:05 Now listen.

00:49:06 Listen again.

00:49:07 How kind of you to let me come.

00:49:08 Oh, it's, uh, Mr.

00:49:09 I know.

00:49:10 He's here again.

00:49:11 No good, sir.

00:49:12 May I have the pleasure, Miss Doolittle?

00:49:13 Get up, girl.

00:49:14 Get up.

00:49:15 Yes, I'll be delighted.

00:49:16 I'll be delighted.

00:49:17 All right.

00:49:18 Come on, then.

00:49:19 Oh, I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:20 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:21 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:22 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:23 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:24 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:25 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:26 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:27 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:28 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:29 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:30 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:31 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:32 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:33 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:34 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:35 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:36 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:37 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:38 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:39 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:40 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:41 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:42 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:43 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:44 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:45 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:46 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:47 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:48 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:49 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:50 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:51 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:52 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:53 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:54 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:55 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:56 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:57 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:58 I'm so glad you're here.

00:49:59 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:00 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:01 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:02 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:03 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:04 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:05 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:06 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:07 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:08 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:09 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:10 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:11 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:12 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:13 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:14 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:15 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:16 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:17 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:18 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:19 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:20 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:21 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:22 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:23 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:24 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:25 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:26 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:27 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:28 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:29 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:30 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:31 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:32 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:33 I'm so glad you're here.

00:50:35 Now then, Eliza, we'll start all over again from the beginning.

00:50:37 An ambassador.

00:50:38 An ex-prince.

00:50:39 An archbishop.

00:50:40 Your grace.

00:50:41 The queen.

00:50:42 Your majesty.

00:50:43 An archduke.

00:50:44 I'm the...

00:50:45 A cardinal.

00:50:46 Your readiness.

00:50:47 Come on, Eliza.

00:50:48 I don't know.

00:50:49 It's half past four, Mr. Higgins.

00:50:54 We'll now start the whole thing over from the beginning.

00:50:58 Oh, I can't. I can't.

00:51:00 Look here, if I can do it without a splitting headache, you can do it.

00:51:03 No, but I've got a headache. I can't.

00:51:05 Here, well, take this then.

00:51:07 Now then, an ambassador.

00:51:11 Oh, his excellency.

00:51:13 Come, Higgins, be reasonable.

00:51:15 I'm always reasonable.

00:51:19 Now then, Pickering, the time has come.

00:51:23 Send the dressmakers, hairdressers, make-up artists, manicurists, and all the rest of the parasites.

00:51:27 Did you ever see the bank?

00:51:29 Oh, I have it.

00:51:31 Camellia, camellia, camellia.

00:51:33 There. Do you see?

00:51:35 No.

00:51:36 A little spray of flour.

00:51:37 No, no.

00:51:38 More mud there.

00:51:54 Aren't you ready yet?

00:51:57 Almost.

00:51:58 Nervous?

00:52:00 Yes, very, aren't you?

00:52:01 Oh, not a bit of it.

00:52:03 Not a bit of it.

00:52:09 Not a bit.

00:52:11 [Train sounds]

00:52:14 [Train sounds]

00:52:16 [Music]

00:52:28 [Music]

00:52:30 Maestro! Maestro!

00:52:51 You remember me?

00:52:54 No, I don't. Where have we met?

00:52:56 But I'm your pupil, your first pupil, your best and greatest pupil.

00:52:59 I've made your name famous throughout Europe.

00:53:01 You teach me phonetics, you cannot forget me.

00:53:03 I am a little Aristide Carpati.

00:53:05 What, are you Aristide?

00:53:06 Why the devil don't you cut your hair?

00:53:08 Oh, if I cut my hair, nobody notices me.

00:53:10 I have not your imposing appearance, your chin, your brow.

00:53:14 Tell me, what are you doing here among all these swells?

00:53:17 I am indispensable at these international parties.

00:53:19 You can place a man anywhere in London the moment he opens his mouth.

00:53:22 I can place a man anywhere in Europe.

00:53:24 Excuse me, sir, I want it upstairs.

00:53:26 Her Excellency cannot understand the Greek gentleman.

00:53:28 Oh, indeed, I'll come at once.

00:53:30 This Greek diplomat who pretends he cannot speak or understand English,

00:53:35 he cannot deceive me.

00:53:38 A tout à l'heure, mon vieux.

00:53:40 Is that Carpati fellow really an expert?

00:53:44 My best pupil.

00:53:45 But heaven help the master who is judged by his disciples.

00:53:48 But if he mutualizes, we're done.

00:53:49 Don't let's bother about the bit, let's go home.

00:53:51 Oh, rubbish, that idiot.

00:53:53 (MUSIC PLAYING)

00:53:55 Well, Eliza, now we're in for it.

00:54:13 Are you ready?

00:54:15 Come on, then.

00:54:20 Darling, how nice to see you here.

00:54:23 I can't say that much on you.

00:54:25 That fellow found out about Eliza, he'll blackmail us.

00:54:32 Let him try.

00:54:34 Her Grace, the Duchess of Cairn.

00:54:37 Admiral Sir Charles Brown-Halby.

00:54:47 Miss Elizabeth Doolittle, Colonel Pickering.

00:54:51 Professor Higgins.

00:54:54 Admiral Kuhn-Watt and Miss Doolittle.

00:55:01 How do you do, Colonel Pickering?

00:55:04 How do you do?

00:55:05 May I present Miss Elizabeth Doolittle?

00:55:07 How do you do?

00:55:09 How kind of you to let me come.

00:55:12 Oh, not at all.

00:55:16 Sir Mrs. Milker.

00:55:18 Good evening.

00:55:19 Oh, Professor, good evening.

00:55:21 Who is this charming girl you've brought?

00:55:23 Is she a relation?

00:55:24 Not of mine, no.

00:55:25 She has such a faraway look, as if she always lived in a garden.

00:55:30 So she has a sort of garden.

00:55:32 There is one thing I have observed about the English, Duchess, and that is...

00:55:36 Oh, yes, I adore observing the English.

00:55:39 Let's go and observe them now.

00:55:41 Come along, George.

00:55:43 Oh, dear, such a bore about the English.

00:55:46 And quite wrong, like every ambassador.

00:55:49 Oh, look, there's dear old Lillith Antale with a whole of Kew Gardens on her head.

00:55:53 You have a rival here tonight.

00:55:55 He introduced himself as your pupil.

00:55:57 Is he any good?

00:55:58 He can learn a language in a fortnight.

00:56:00 Knows dozens of them.

00:56:01 A sure mark of a fool.

00:56:02 Your Excellency is interested in Miss Doolittle?

00:56:06 Yes.

00:56:08 Could you find out who she is?

00:56:10 Excellency.

00:56:12 Lord Wilsham and Lady Wilsham.

00:56:16 I feel rather like Noah standing on the bridge watching the loading of the ark.

00:56:19 You know, two of everything.

00:56:22 Colonel Pickering, tell me more about your Greek gentleman friend, would you?

00:56:26 A gentleman? He's the son of a clerk and a washmaker.

00:56:29 He speaks English so villainously that he dare not utter a word of it without betraying his origin.

00:56:34 I help him to pretend, but I make him pay through the nose.

00:56:38 I make them all pay.

00:56:42 And now, Professor Higgins, I should be delighted if you would present me to this Miss Doolittle.

00:56:48 No, no, you don't. Can't you see she's talking to a Duchess?

00:56:53 Professor Higgins.

00:56:55 The very man I've been dying to meet. I'm Isabella the Sun.

00:56:58 Fair field of the glow.

00:57:00 What extraordinary people seem to get in everywhere nowadays.

00:57:03 Extraordinary.

00:57:05 Colonel Pickering, unfortunately we were interrupted.

00:57:08 Would you be so kind as to introduce me to Miss Doolittle?

00:57:11 You remember you so kindly addressed the Guild of the Daily Artisans?

00:57:14 Excuse me, but I must...

00:57:16 Now, this time of hour, you've got long words.

00:57:18 Enchanted.

00:57:22 I don't believe it's true.

00:57:30 Miss Doolittle has a delicious sense of humour.

00:57:34 One thing more, Professor, do tell me.

00:57:37 Miss Doolittle, I have found out all about her.

00:57:40 When?

00:57:41 She's a...

00:57:43 Well, now go on.

00:57:50 I say, Pickering, you know what's happened.

00:57:53 I've been told that you've been in the Guild of the Daily Artisans.

00:57:56 Oh.

00:57:58 I say, Pickering, you know what's happened.

00:58:02 (LAUGHTER)

00:58:06 (MUSIC)

00:58:10 Charming.

00:58:35 Miss Doolittle.

00:59:01 My dear fellow, I hope you don't think I introduced that cowpathy chap to you, Eliza, to win my bid.

00:59:05 Nonsense, but the game's all up, Pickering. He's found out all about her.

00:59:09 I say, Pick, look at that.

00:59:18 (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

00:59:22 Who is she? I can't imagine.

00:59:34 I child, my son would very much like to dance with you.

00:59:37 If I may be allowed the honour.

00:59:42 (MUSIC)

00:59:47 (MUSIC)

00:59:51 (MUSIC)

00:59:55 (MUSIC)

01:00:22 When he gives the game away to the ambassadors, there'll be the noose of a row.

01:00:25 I wouldn't miss it for words. Excuse me.

01:00:29 Come on, Aristide, you've got to tell us.

01:00:41 Yes, tell us all you know about this Miss Doolittle.

01:00:43 No, no, that is my secret.

01:00:45 But I will tell Your Excellency.

01:00:47 She has a right to know who Miss Doolittle is.

01:00:49 Well, who is she? She is a... Don't start.

01:00:52 Oh, no. She's a fraud. A fraud? No.

01:00:55 Yes, yes, she cannot deceive me. Her name cannot be Doolittle.

01:00:58 Why? Because Doolittle is an English name and she is not English.

01:01:02 Oh. But she speaks it perfectly.

01:01:05 Too perfectly. Can you show me any Englishwoman who speaks English as it should be spoken?

01:01:09 There is no such thing. The English do not know how to speak their own language.

01:01:12 Only foreigners who have been taught to speak it, speak it well.

01:01:16 Is there something in there? But if she's not English, what is she?

01:01:19 Hungarian. Hungarian. Yes, Hungarian.

01:01:22 And of royal blood. I am Hungarian. My blood is royal.

01:01:26 Did you speak to her in Hungarian? I did. She was very clever.

01:01:29 She said, "Please speak to me in English. I do not understand French."

01:01:32 French? She pretended not to know the difference between Hungarian and French.

01:01:36 Nonsense. She knows both. And the blood royal, how did you find that out?

01:01:40 Instinct, maestro. Instinct.

01:01:43 Only the Hungarian, the Madjar race, can produce that air of the divine.

01:01:47 Those high cheekbones, those resolute eyes.

01:01:50 She is a princess.

01:01:54 Now I know who it is. Who?

01:01:57 Dow. Yes. Look at her profile. It's the old Duke, exactly.

01:02:02 I am the Duke of Havana.

01:02:05 I am the Duke of Havana.

01:02:08 I am the Duke of Havana.

01:02:11 I am the Duke of Havana.

01:02:14 I am the Duke of Havana.

01:02:17 I am the Duke of Havana.

01:02:20 Look at her profile. It's the old Duke, exactly.

01:02:23 What do you say, professor? Aye.

01:02:41 I say an ordinary Cockney girl out of the gutter.

01:02:44 I place her in Covent Garden.

01:02:47 Maestro, maestro. You are mad on the subject of Cockney dialects.

01:02:52 The London gutter is the whole world for you.

01:02:55 This girl is undoubtedly a... A princess?

01:02:58 Have it your own way, maestro.

01:03:03 Have it your own way.

01:03:06 (Dramatic music)

01:03:09 (Chatter)

01:03:14 I say, pick up, will you? It's time to get going.

01:03:27 I have. Mrs. Pierce can have the bed. You don't want anything else, shall we?

01:03:30 No, no, no. I say, Mrs. Pierce will arrive and leave things lying about here.

01:03:34 Oh, she'll pick 'em up. She'll think we were drunk.

01:03:36 Yeah, we are. Slightly.

01:03:38 Were there any letters? Didn't look.

01:03:41 Heavens, what an evening. What a crew.

01:03:46 What silly tomfoolery. Thank God it's all over.

01:03:49 What the devil are my slippers? Well, you won your bet.

01:03:52 Eliza did the trick and something to spare.

01:03:54 It was interesting enough at first, but afterwards I got deadly sick of it.

01:03:57 The whole thing's been a perfect ball.

01:03:59 Come, the reception was frightfully exciting. For the first few minutes.

01:04:02 I thought you were going to win hands down. I lost interest.

01:04:05 No more artificial duchesses for me.

01:04:08 Oh, they're there, are they? I must say, Eliza did it awfully well.

01:04:12 You see, lots of the real people can't do it at all.

01:04:14 Ha, ha. The silly fools don't even know their own silly business.

01:04:17 Anyhow, that's all over and done with. Now I can go to bed without dreading tomorrow.

01:04:20 Well, I shall turn in too. Still, it's been a great triumph for you.

01:04:23 Yes, it has rather, hasn't it? Marvellous. Good night.

01:04:26 Good night, my friend. Good night, Eliza.

01:04:29 (HUMMING)

01:04:32 Put out the lights, Eliza.

01:04:37 Tell Mrs Pierce not to bring me coffee in the morning. I'll take tea.

01:04:40 (HUMMING)

01:04:42 (HUMMING)

01:04:46 (HORN BLOWING)

01:04:50 (HORN BLOWING)

01:04:53 (HORN BLOWING)

01:04:56 (HORN BLOWING)

01:04:59 (HORN BLOWING)

01:05:28 Firstly, I put my slippers.

01:05:31 There are your slippers, and there!

01:05:37 Take your slippers! And may you never have a day's luck with them!

01:05:40 What's the matter? Anything wrong?

01:05:45 No. Nothing wrong with you. I've won your bet, you haven't I?

01:05:49 That's all that counts. I don't matter, I suppose.

01:05:53 You won my bet. You, you presumptuous insect. I won it.

01:05:58 Why did you throw those slippers at me?

01:06:01 Because I wanted to smash your face in.

01:06:04 I'd like to kill you, you brute.

01:06:07 Why didn't you leave me where you found me, in the gutter?

01:06:10 You thank God it's all over and that you can throw me back again there now, do you?

01:06:14 Well, well, well, the creature is nervous after all.

01:06:17 How would you? Don't you dare show your temper to me. Sit down and be quiet.

01:06:21 What's to become of me? What's to become of me?

01:06:24 How the devil do I know what's to become of you? What's it matter what becomes of you?

01:06:27 You don't care, I know you don't care. You wouldn't care if I was dead.

01:06:31 I'm nothing to you, not so much as them slippers.

01:06:33 Those slippers! Those!

01:06:35 Slippers.

01:06:37 I didn't think it made any difference, no.

01:06:41 May I ask whether you complain of your treatment here?

01:06:45 No.

01:06:46 Has anyone behaved badly to you? Colonel Pickering, Mrs. Pierce, any of the servants?

01:06:51 No.

01:06:52 I presume you don't pretend that I've treated you badly.

01:06:55 No.

01:06:59 Ah, well I'm glad to hear that anyway.

01:07:01 Probably you're tired after the strain of the day.

01:07:05 Here, have a chocolate.

01:07:09 No!

01:07:10 No?

01:07:12 No!

01:07:13 Thank you.

01:07:15 Well, it's all over now. Nothing more to worry about.

01:07:18 No.

01:07:20 Nothing more for you to worry about.

01:07:23 Oh God, I wish I was dead.

01:07:33 Why? In heaven's name, why?

01:07:37 Now listen to me, Eliza.

01:07:41 All this irritation is purely subjective.

01:07:46 I don't understand. I'm too ignorant.

01:07:49 It's only imagination. Low spirits, nothing more.

01:07:52 Nobody's trying to hurt you, nothing's wrong.

01:07:55 Now you go to bed like a good girl and sleep it off.

01:07:58 Have a little cry and say your prayers and that'll make you comfortable.

01:08:03 I heard your prayers. Thank God it's all over.

01:08:08 Well, don't you thank God it's all over?

01:08:10 Now you're free, you can do what you like.

01:08:12 What am I fit for? What have you left me fit for?

01:08:17 Where am I to go? What am I to do?

01:08:20 What's to become of me?

01:08:26 Oh, so that's what's worrying you, is it?

01:08:28 Oh, you'll settle down somewhere or other.

01:08:31 But I hadn't quite realized that you were going away.

01:08:40 You might marry, you know.

01:08:42 You're not bad looking.

01:08:45 Quite a pleasure to look at you sometimes.

01:08:48 Of course, now you've been crying, you look as ugly as the very devil, but...

01:08:52 when you're quite all right and yourself, you're what I should call attractive.

01:08:57 That is to people in the marrying line, you understand.

01:09:00 Now you go to bed, have a good night's rest.

01:09:04 I'll see you tomorrow.

01:09:07 Now you go to bed, have a good night's rest.

01:09:09 Get up in the morning and look at yourself in the glass.

01:09:12 You won't feel so cheap.

01:09:14 I dare say my mother could find some chap or other who'd do very well.

01:09:20 We were above that in Covent Garden.

01:09:22 What do you mean?

01:09:24 I sold flowers. I didn't sell myself.

01:09:28 Now you've made a lady of me, I'm not fit to sell anything else.

01:09:32 I wish you'd left me where you found me.

01:09:35 But you don't have to marry the fellow if you don't like him.

01:09:38 - What else am I to do? - Well, lots of things.

01:09:40 How about your old idea of a florist shop?

01:09:42 Pickering could set you up in one, he's got lots of money.

01:09:45 Oh, you'll be all right.

01:09:47 I must clear off to bed, I'm devilish sleepy.

01:09:56 By the way, I came here for something.

01:10:03 Forget what it was.

01:10:05 Your slippers.

01:10:08 Oh, yes, of course.

01:10:10 You shied them at me.

01:10:12 - Before you go, sir... - Eh?

01:10:21 Do my clothes belong to me or to Colonel Pickering?

01:10:24 What the devil use shall they be to Pickering?

01:10:27 You might want them for the next girl you pick up to experiment on.

01:10:31 - Is that the way you feel towards us? - I don't want to hear any more about that.

01:10:35 All I want to know is what belongs to me and what doesn't.

01:10:38 - My own clothes were burnt. - What's it matter?

01:10:41 Why need you start bothering about that in the middle of the night?

01:10:43 I want to know what I may take away with me.

01:10:45 - I don't want to be accused of stealing. - Stealing?

01:10:49 Eliza, you shouldn't have said that.

01:10:52 - That shows a want of feeling. - I'm sorry.

01:10:55 I'm only a common, ignorant girl, and in my station I have to be careful.

01:11:00 There can't be any feelings between the like of you and the like of me.

01:11:04 Will you please tell me what belongs to me and what doesn't?

01:11:07 Oh, you can keep the whole confounded house full if you like.

01:11:10 All except the jewels. They're hired.

01:11:12 - Will that satisfy you? - Stop, please.

01:11:15 Will you take these to your room and keep them safe?

01:11:18 I don't want to run the risk of them being missing.

01:11:21 Hand them over.

01:11:24 If these belonged to me instead of the jeweler, I'd ram them down your ungrateful throat.

01:11:29 This ring...

01:11:31 It isn't the jeweler's.

01:11:36 It's the one you bought me in Brighton.

01:11:40 I don't want it now.

01:11:44 - Don't you hit me! - Hit you, you infamous creature!

01:11:49 How dare you accuse me of such a thing? It's you who have hit me.

01:11:52 You've wounded me to the heart.

01:11:54 I'm glad. Glad!

01:11:56 I've got a little of my own back anyhow.

01:11:59 You've caused me to lose my temper, a thing that's hardly ever happened to me before.

01:12:03 I prefer to say nothing more tonight. I shall go to bed.

01:12:06 You'd better leave a note for Mrs. Pierce about the coffee, because she won't be told by me.

01:12:16 Damn Mrs. Pierce and damn the coffee and damn you and damn my own folly

01:12:20 in having lavished hard-earned knowledge and the treasure of my regard and intimacy

01:12:24 on a heartless gutter-snipe!

01:12:27 (door closes)

01:12:29 (footsteps)

01:12:31 (door closes)

01:12:38 (rain falling)

01:12:40 (soft music)

01:12:53 (soft music)

01:12:56 (soft music)

01:12:58 (music intensifies)

01:13:11 (music intensifies)

01:13:13 (music intensifies)

01:13:15 (music intensifies)

01:13:17 (music intensifies)

01:13:19 (music intensifies)

01:13:47 What are you doing here?

01:13:49 Nothing. As a matter of fact, I spend most of my nights here.

01:13:53 It's the only place I feel really happy.

01:13:56 Don't laugh at me, Miss Doolittle.

01:13:58 Don't you call me Miss Doolittle. Eliza's good enough for me.

01:14:01 Where are you going?

01:14:03 - To the river. - What for?

01:14:04 - To make a hole in it. - To make a hole in it?

01:14:07 Freddie, you don't think I'm a heartless gutter-snipe, do you?

01:14:10 No, darling. How can you imagine such a thing?

01:14:13 I think you're the most wonderful, the loveliest...

01:14:17 (sighs)

01:14:18 Now then, now then, now then.

01:14:21 This isn't Paris, you know.

01:14:23 No, sorry, Constable.

01:14:25 Eliza. Eliza. You let me kiss you.

01:14:31 Well, why not? Why shouldn't someone kiss me?

01:14:34 Why shouldn't someone be in love with me?

01:14:36 Kiss me again. Kiss me again!

01:14:39 All right.

01:14:41 Now then, you two, what's this?

01:14:43 Were you annoying that young lady?

01:14:45 No, no, Constable, certainly not.

01:14:47 Move along then. Double quick.

01:14:49 As you say, sir.

01:14:51 (man shouts)

01:14:53 (man shouts)

01:15:09 Well, if you don't...

01:15:11 I beg your pardon, miss.

01:15:18 Buy a flower for poor girl?

01:15:24 (men laughing)

01:15:26 (indistinct chatter)

01:15:35 (indistinct chatter)

01:15:37 (dramatic music)

01:15:51 (door slams)

01:16:19 Sir.

01:16:21 Your coffee, sir.

01:16:23 Didn't Eliza tell you to bring tea?

01:16:28 She didn't wait to tell me.

01:16:30 She's gone.

01:16:32 Gone?

01:16:33 I said gone, and I meant it, every word of it.

01:16:36 Mrs. Pierce!

01:16:40 Where the devil's my engagement book?

01:16:42 I don't know any of my appointments.

01:16:44 Eliza would know.

01:16:46 But she isn't here, damn it.

01:16:47 Then you'd better find her, damn it.

01:16:49 What does that Aspen inspector say?

01:16:52 Have you offered a reward?

01:16:54 Shh!

01:16:55 What?

01:16:56 You can't help us find her?

01:16:58 What are the police for, in heaven's name?

01:17:00 Why really think they suspect us of some improper purpose?

01:17:03 Of course, I don't care what becomes of her.

01:17:06 Where the devil can she be?

01:17:08 (dramatic music)

01:17:12 (train whistle blows)

01:17:14 Have you seen Eliza Doolittle?

01:17:25 No.

01:17:26 I say, mother, here's a confounded thing.

01:17:37 Good morning, my dear.

01:17:38 What is it?

01:17:39 Eliza's boat is...

01:17:40 Good morning, Colonel Pickering.

01:17:42 Eliza's boat is... What am I to do?

01:17:44 Do without, I'm afraid, Henry.

01:17:45 The girl has a perfect right to leave if she chooses.

01:17:48 Something may have happened to her.

01:17:49 It can't let her go like this. What are we to do?

01:17:51 You've no more sense, either of you, than two children.

01:17:53 You must have frightened the poor girl.

01:17:55 Frightened her? I hardly said a word to her.

01:17:57 Did you bully her after I went to bed?

01:17:59 Certainly not. Exactly the other way about.

01:18:00 She threw the slippers in my face.

01:18:02 The moment I entered the room, the slippers came bang in my face

01:18:04 before I'd uttered a word.

01:18:06 And she used the most perfectly awful language.

01:18:09 I can't say I'm surprised.

01:18:11 And you mean to tell me that after all her hard work,

01:18:13 and after doing this wonderful thing for you

01:18:15 without making one single mistake,

01:18:17 you two sat there and hardly said a word to her?

01:18:20 Well, we... we didn't make speeches, if that's what you mean.

01:18:23 You didn't thank her, pet her, admire her?

01:18:27 And she only threw the slippers at you.

01:18:29 I'd have thrown the fire irons at you.

01:18:32 Mr. Henry, a gentleman wants to see you, most particular.

01:18:37 Oh, bother, I can't see anybody now.

01:18:39 He's been sent on from Wimpole Street.

01:18:41 Who is it?

01:18:42 Mr. Doolittle, sir.

01:18:44 Doolittle? A dustman?

01:18:46 Dustman? Oh, no, sir. A gentleman.

01:18:50 All right, show him in.

01:18:52 By George Pick, this is some relative of hers she's gone to.

01:18:55 Someone we know nothing about. Gentile relations.

01:18:58 Now we shall hear something.

01:19:00 Doolittle!

01:19:04 Ha, ha, ha! What the dickens has happened to you?

01:19:07 Henry Higgins, did you see this? Look at this.

01:19:10 You've done this. Done what, ma'am?

01:19:12 Look at this hat. Look at this coat.

01:19:14 Good morning, Mr. Doolittle. Won't you come in?

01:19:16 Thank you, ma'am.

01:19:18 What has my son done to you?

01:19:20 He's ruined me, destroyed me happiness,

01:19:23 tied me up and delivered me into the hands of middle-class morality.

01:19:27 You're raving, you're drunk, you're mad. I gave you five pounds.

01:19:30 After that, I had two conversations with you at half a crown an hour

01:19:33 and I've never even seen you since.

01:19:35 Oh, mad am I? Drunk am I?

01:19:37 Tell me this. Did you or did you not write to an old blighter in America

01:19:40 to say the most original moralist present in England

01:19:43 was Alfred Doolittle, a common garbage man?

01:19:46 Ezra D. Wannafeller, Jr.?

01:19:48 Oh, I remember making some silly joke of the kind.

01:19:51 Oh, you might well call it a silly joke.

01:19:54 It's put the lid on me right enough.

01:19:56 Just give him the chance he was looking for

01:19:59 to show Americans isn't like us,

01:20:01 to recognize and respect merit in whatever class of life,

01:20:04 however humble.

01:20:06 Them words is in his blooming will,

01:20:08 in which he leaves me 3,000 pounds a year,

01:20:11 on condition I lecture for the Wannafeller Moral Reform League

01:20:15 as often as they ask me, up to six times a year.

01:20:17 But this solves the problem of Eliza's future.

01:20:20 You can provide for her now.

01:20:22 Yes, I'm expected to provide for everybody now at 3,000 a year.

01:20:26 He shan't provide for her. She doesn't belong to him.

01:20:28 I paid him five pounds for her.

01:20:30 You're either an honest man or you're a rogue.

01:20:32 A little of both. Henry liked the rest of us.

01:20:34 The point is, have you found Eliza?

01:20:36 - Have you lost her? - Yes.

01:20:38 Blimey, you have all the luck you have.

01:20:40 No, I ain't found her, but she'll find me quick enough.

01:20:42 Now, that's what you done to me.

01:20:44 Now, you listen to me. I...

01:20:45 Would you wait here for a moment, Mr. Doolittle?

01:20:47 Henry, I have a surprise for you.

01:20:53 Do you really want to know where Eliza is?

01:20:55 Yes, where is she?

01:20:56 She says she's willing to meet you on friendly terms

01:20:59 and let bygones be bygones.

01:21:01 Is she by God? Pickering, where is she?

01:21:04 Now, promise to behave yourself, Henry.

01:21:07 Good morning, Colonel Pickering.

01:21:12 Quite chilly this morning, isn't it?

01:21:14 Oh, how do you do, Professor Higgins?

01:21:23 Are you quite well?

01:21:25 But of course you are. You're never ill.

01:21:28 Won't you sit down, Colonel Pickering?

01:21:30 Don't you dare try this game on with me.

01:21:37 Get up and come home and don't be a fool.

01:21:40 Very nicely put indeed, Henry.

01:21:42 No woman could resist such an invitation.

01:21:44 Let her speak for herself.

01:21:46 There isn't an idea that I haven't put into her head.

01:21:49 I tell you, I've created this thing

01:21:51 out of squashed cabbage leaves in Covent Garden.

01:21:54 Now she pretends to play the fine lady with me.

01:21:57 Will you drop me altogether now the experiment is over, Colonel Pickering?

01:22:01 Oh, you mustn't think of it as an experiment.

01:22:04 Oh, I'm only a squashed cabbage leaf.

01:22:07 But I owe so much to you that I should be very unhappy if you forgot me.

01:22:12 You see, it was from you that I learned really nice manners.

01:22:15 And that's what makes one a lady, isn't it?

01:22:17 Ha!

01:22:18 And that's what makes the difference, after all.

01:22:20 No doubt.

01:22:22 Still, he taught you to speak, you know, and I couldn't have done that.

01:22:25 Of course, that was his profession.

01:22:27 It was just like learning to dance in the fashionable way.

01:22:31 Nothing more than that in it.

01:22:33 But you know what began my real education?

01:22:35 No.

01:22:36 Your calling me Miss Doolittle

01:22:38 that day when I first came to Wimpole Street.

01:22:40 That was the beginning of self-respect for me.

01:22:43 You see, the difference between a lady and a flower girl

01:22:47 isn't how she behaves.

01:22:49 It's how she's treated.

01:22:51 Now, I know that I should always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins

01:22:55 because he always treats me as a flower girl and always will.

01:22:58 Don't grind your teeth, Henriette.

01:23:01 But I know that I can be a lady to you

01:23:04 because you always treat me as a lady and always will.

01:23:06 Well, it's very nice of you to say so, Miss Doolittle.

01:23:10 I should like you to call me Eliza now, if you would.

01:23:13 Thank you.

01:23:14 Eliza.

01:23:17 Of course.

01:23:19 Of course.

01:23:20 And I should like Professor Higgins to call me Miss Doolittle.

01:23:27 I'll see you damn first.

01:23:28 Henriette. Henriette.

01:23:30 But you're coming back, aren't you?

01:23:31 You'll forgive Higgins.

01:23:32 Forgive? Will she, by George? Let her go.

01:23:35 Let her find out what it's like to be without us.

01:23:37 In three weeks, she'll relapse back into the gutter without me at her elbow.

01:23:40 You won't relapse, will you, Eliza?

01:23:42 No. Never again.

01:23:44 I don't believe I could utter one of those old sounds if I tried.

01:23:48 Ow!

01:23:50 Ha-ha! What did I tell you?

01:23:53 Victory!

01:23:54 Victory!

01:23:56 Ow! Ow!

01:23:58 Ow! Ow! Ow!

01:24:01 Hit me! Ow!

01:24:03 Eliza, it's all my fault. You stepped on my boot.

01:24:07 Henriette. Look, Henriette.

01:24:10 Colonel, I'm getting late for the wedding.

01:24:14 Wedding? What wedding?

01:24:15 Mine.

01:24:16 Yours?

01:24:17 Yes. In spite of all I've said and done to my wife.

01:24:20 She's going to marry me.

01:24:22 I'm feeling uncommon nervous about the ceremony, Governor.

01:24:25 I wish you'd come and put me through it.

01:24:27 But you've been through it before. You were married to Eliza's mother.

01:24:30 Who told you that, Governor?

01:24:31 Well, nobody told me, but I concluded naturally.

01:24:34 That ain't the natural way, Governor.

01:24:36 That's only the middle class way.

01:24:38 But don't tell Eliza. She don't know.

01:24:41 I always had a sort of delicacy about telling her.

01:24:43 You're quite right.

01:24:45 Will you come to the church and see me through straight?

01:24:47 With pleasure, as far as a bachelor can.

01:24:49 May I come too, Mr. Doolittle?

01:24:51 I'd be very sorry to miss your wedding.

01:24:53 We should indeed be honoured by your condescension, ma'am.

01:24:56 My poor old woman, she'd look upon it as a tremendous compliment.

01:24:59 She's been very low, likely.

01:25:01 Thinking of the happy days that are no more.

01:25:04 Eliza.

01:25:09 Your stepmother's going to marry me.

01:25:12 Will you come to the church and see me turned off?

01:25:15 I've ordered the car, dear. Wait for me.

01:25:18 Colonel Pickering can go with the bridegroom.

01:25:20 Bridegroom.

01:25:22 What a word.

01:25:24 Makes men realise his position somehow.

01:25:28 So long.

01:25:32 See you at the church.

01:25:34 Middle class morality climbs its victim.

01:25:40 (BIRD SQUAWKS)

01:25:42 Eliza.

01:25:48 Well, Eliza, you've had a bit of your own back now, as you call it.

01:25:56 You had enough, and you're going to be reasonable, or do you want some more?

01:25:59 You want me back only to put up with your tempers...

01:26:01 and pick up your slippers and fetch and carry for you.

01:26:04 I haven't said I wanted you back at all.

01:26:06 - What are you talking about? - About you, not about me.

01:26:09 If you come back to me, I shall treat you just the same as I've always treated you.

01:26:12 I can't change my nature, and I don't intend to change my manners.

01:26:15 My manners are exactly the same as Colonel Pickering's.

01:26:17 That's not true.

01:26:19 He treats a flower girl as if she were a duchess.

01:26:21 I treat a duchess as if she were a flower girl.

01:26:24 I see. The same to everyone.

01:26:26 Oh, I don't care how you treat me.

01:26:31 I don't mind your swearing at me.

01:26:34 I don't mind a black eye.

01:26:36 I've had one before this, but...

01:26:39 I won't be passed over!

01:26:41 Then get out of my way, for I won't stop for you.

01:26:44 - You talk of me as if I were a bust. - So you are a bust.

01:26:47 All bounce and go and no consideration for anyone.

01:26:49 Once for all, understand that I go my way and do my work...

01:26:52 without caring what happens to either of us.

01:26:54 So you can come back or go to the devil, whichever you please.

01:26:57 - And what am I to come back for? - For the fun of it.

01:27:01 That's what I took you on for.

01:27:03 And you can throw me out tomorrow if I don't do everything you want me to?

01:27:06 And you can walk out tomorrow if I don't do everything you want me to.

01:27:09 And live with my stepmother?

01:27:11 Yes, or sell flowers. Or would you rather marry Pickering?

01:27:14 I wouldn't marry you, if you ask me.

01:27:16 - And you're nearer my age than what he is. - Than he is.

01:27:19 I'll speak as I like.

01:27:23 You're not my teacher now.

01:27:31 I don't know the Pickering wood, though.

01:27:33 He's as confirmed an old bachelor as I am.

01:27:36 That's not what I want, and don't you think it.

01:27:38 I've always had chaps enough wanting me that way.

01:27:41 Freddy Hill writes to me twice and three times a day.

01:27:44 - Sheets and sheets. - Blast, he's impudent.

01:27:47 He has a right to if he likes the poor lad. And he does love me.

01:27:50 - You have no right to encourage him. - Every girl has a right to be loved.

01:27:53 - What, by fools like that? - Freddy's not a fool.

01:27:55 If he's weak and poor and wants me...

01:27:58 maybe he'd make me happier than my bettors who bully me and don't want me.

01:28:04 I can do without you. Don't think I can't.

01:28:08 You've never asked, I suppose, whether I could do without you.

01:28:17 You'll have to do without me.

01:28:24 I can do without anybody.

01:28:28 I have my own soul, my own spark of divine fire.

01:28:32 But I shall miss you, Eliza.

01:28:37 I confess that humbly and gratefully.

01:28:40 I've become accustomed to your voice and appearance.

01:28:45 I even like them, rather.

01:28:48 Well, you have them both on your gramophone and in your book of photographs.

01:28:52 When you feel lonely, you can turn the machine on.

01:28:54 It's got no feelings to hurt.

01:28:56 I can't turn your soul on.

01:28:59 Oh, you're a devil.

01:29:06 You can twist the heart in a girl as easily as some can twist her arms to hurt her.

01:29:11 I want a little kindness.

01:29:16 I know I'm only a common, ignorant girl, but I'm not dirt under your feet.

01:29:22 What I done, I... What I did, it wasn't for the dresses and for the taxes.

01:29:29 It was because we were pleasant together and because I come...

01:29:33 Came to care for you, not forgetting the difference between us

01:29:38 and not wanting you to make love to me, but...

01:29:42 Well, more... More friendly, like...

01:29:45 Of course, Eliza. That's exactly how I feel.

01:29:51 And how bickering feels.

01:29:53 Eliza, you're a fool.

01:29:57 That's not a proper answer to give me.

01:29:59 If you can't stand the coldness of my sort of life and the strain of it, go back to the gutter.

01:30:04 Oh, it's a fine life, the life of the gutter.

01:30:06 It's real, it's warm, it's violent.

01:30:09 Not like science and literature and classical music and philosophy and art.

01:30:14 You find me cold, unfeeling, selfish, don't you?

01:30:18 Very well, then, marry some sentimental hog or other

01:30:21 with a thick pair of lips to kiss you with and a thick pair of boots to kick you with.

01:30:25 If you can't appreciate what you've got, you better get what you can appreciate.

01:30:28 I won't care for anyone who doesn't care for me.

01:30:30 Oh, Eliza, you're an idiot.

01:30:32 I waste the treasures of my Miltonic mind by spreading them before you.

01:30:35 Oh, I can't talk to you. You turn everything against me.

01:30:38 You know very well that I can't go back to the gutter, as you call it,

01:30:41 and that I've no real friends in the world but you and the Colonel.

01:30:44 You think I must go back to Wimpole Street because I've nowhere to go but Father's.

01:30:47 But don't you be too sure that you have me under your feet to be bullied and talked down.

01:30:51 I'll marry Freddy, I will, as soon as I'm able to support him.

01:30:54 What, that young fool?

01:30:57 You shall marry an ambassador. You shall marry the Viceroy of India.

01:31:00 I won't have my masterpiece thrown away on Freddy.

01:31:03 You think I like you to say that, but I haven't forgotten what you said a minute ago.

01:31:07 If I can't have kindness, I'll have independence.

01:31:09 Independence? That's middle-class blasphemy.

01:31:12 We're all of us dependent one on another, every soul on earth.

01:31:14 I'll let you see whether I'm dependent on you.

01:31:16 If you can preach, I can teach.

01:31:19 I'll go and be a teacher.

01:31:20 What will you teach in heaven's name?

01:31:23 What you taught me. I'll teach phonetics.

01:31:26 I'll offer myself as an assistant to Professor Carpacci.

01:31:29 What, that humbug? That imposter? That toadying ignoramus?

01:31:33 You take one step in his direction, I'll wring your neck, you hear?

01:31:37 Wring away! What do I care? I knew you'd strike me one day.

01:31:40 Now I know how to deal with you.

01:31:45 Oh, what a fool I was not to think of it before.

01:31:48 That's done you, Henry Iggins, it has,

01:31:51 and I don't give that for your bullying and your fine talk.

01:31:56 When I think of myself crawling under your feet

01:32:01 and being trampled on and talked down

01:32:04 when all the time I'd only to lift my finger to be as good as you are,

01:32:07 oh, I could just kick myself.

01:32:10 By George Eliza, I said I'd make a woman of you, and I have.

01:32:14 I like you like this.

01:32:16 Yes, you make up to me now that I'm not afraid of you and I can do without you.

01:32:19 Of course I do, you little fool.

01:32:22 Five minutes ago you were a millstone round my neck.

01:32:26 Now you're a tower of strength, a consort battleship.

01:32:30 Goodbye, Professor Iggins.

01:32:37 Goodbye, George Eliza.

01:32:41 (car horn honking)

01:32:44 (car horn honking)

01:32:47 (engine rumbling)

01:32:58 (engine starts)

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