Did Disney lie to us? Welcome to MsMojo, and in our minds we’re totally the leads of our own Disney movie. But today we’re remembering all the ways reality is constantly trying to remind us that we’re wrong.
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00:00 "We're married to the man she just met!"
00:02 "It's true love!"
00:03 Welcome to Ms. Mojo.
00:05 And in our minds, we're totally the leads of our own Disney movie.
00:08 But today, we're remembering all the ways reality is constantly trying to remind us
00:13 we're wrong.
00:14 "No?"
00:14 "No."
00:15 "Is that the only word that you know? No?"
00:17 Number 10.
00:21 We were told there would be a musical portion.
00:23 "Little town, full of little people, waking up to say..."
00:31 "Bonjour!"
00:35 "Bonjour!"
00:36 "Bonjour!"
00:36 "Bonjour!"
00:36 "Bonjour!"
00:37 We've been going to sleep doing vocal exercises, because if there's anything Disney taught us,
00:42 it's that every day should and will start with a song.
00:46 In fact, it turns out there's no occasion in life that can't be approached like a musical.
00:50 And out here in this confusing world, it's really the only way to be sure of anything.
00:55 "Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?"
01:04 How can any relationship work if you can't harmonize together?
01:08 How are you supposed to make major life decisions without singing out your deepest dreams and
01:12 desires?
01:13 Well, as other people start to glare at us, we put on our headphones and try to make it
01:18 work with an internal soundtrack.
01:20 Turns out the rest of the world isn't as in tune as Disney led us to believe.
01:24 "How does she know she's yours?"
01:30 "Don't sing, it's okay, you know, let's just walk."
01:33 Number 9.
01:34 The walls have ears and our belongings have complex personalities.
01:38 If you've ever bumped into your furniture and apologized,
01:41 it's probably got something to do with your Disney childhood.
01:43 "You can't grow up without a decent education, you know."
01:52 Who's to say?
01:53 Your household could be filled with cursed people who look like decor,
01:56 or maybe the house itself is a sentient entity.
02:00 Is it a little creepy to know you're always being observed?
02:03 Maybe, but there are benefits to the situation.
02:06 "I am a little hungry."
02:07 "You are?
02:08 Hear that?
02:09 She's hungry!
02:10 Stoke the fire, break out the silver, waste the charn."
02:13 If your house hasn't started taking care of you just yet,
02:15 the answer is probably to be even nicer to your surroundings so they feel valued.
02:20 After all, Disney has also shown us what happens when your belongings get angry,
02:24 and even worse, when they feel threatened.
02:27 It's better safe than sorry, that's all we're saying.
02:30 "And stay out!"
02:32 Number 8.
02:33 Parents really just don't understand.
02:35 We all went through a period where we were convinced that our parents
02:38 couldn't possibly know anything.
02:40 And honestly, all the wholesome animated movies they showed us as kids
02:43 only supported our righteous rebellion.
02:45 "I'm 16 years old, I'm not a child anymore."
02:48 "Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady!
02:50 As long as you live under my ocean, you'll obey my rules!"
02:54 Disney movies are filled with parents who want to lay down the law
02:58 and won't be reasoned with.
02:59 They do it in the name of love,
03:01 but the fact is that most of them are proven wrong by the end.
03:04 Prince Eric was a good guy.
03:06 Mulan saved China.
03:08 And don't even get us started on Elsa and Anna's parents.
03:11 "The gloves will help.
03:12 See?
03:13 Conceal it."
03:15 "Don't feel it.
03:16 Don't let it show."
03:18 We could do a whole list on this topic,
03:19 but you get the idea.
03:21 Adults can definitely be wrong,
03:23 but probably not as often as these movies had us thinking.
03:26 "I know my place!
03:27 It is time you learned yours."
03:30 Number 7.
03:31 Beware the extended family.
03:33 So, as per Disney, your parents are standing in the way of your destiny,
03:37 which may be why they're a semi-endangered species in the studios' movies.
03:41 But that's how we came to learn that the alternatives are even worse.
03:44 "You want me to be the bad guy?
03:46 Fine.
03:48 Now I'm the bad guy."
03:51 Stepmothers are definitely the worst of the bunch.
03:54 If you're lucky, they'll just use you for unpaid labor.
03:56 But it's also possible that they'll try and murder you on a deranged whim.
04:00 "I don't understand."
04:01 "She's mad.
04:02 Jealous of you.
04:03 She'll stop at nothing."
04:04 "But who?"
04:06 "The queen."
04:07 Aunts and uncles are suspect, too,
04:09 especially if your parents had any position of power.
04:12 You'll probably wind up collateral damage in their plans for domination.
04:16 The truth is that most people have perfectly lovely families.
04:19 But with examples like these, we understand the impulse to...
04:23 "Run away, Simba.
04:24 Run.
04:26 Run away and never return."
04:29 Number 6.
04:31 Run away to life-changing adventure.
04:34 Yeah, with all those unsatisfactory home dynamics,
04:37 it's no wonder so many of our Disney heroes leave home at some point.
04:40 And when we were protesting a clearly unfair vegetable-eating policy,
04:44 it certainly looked like a good option.
04:46 Those movies made it seem like the start of an incredible experience.
04:50 "Oh, I should like very much to cross swords with some real buccaneers."
04:54 "Yes, and fight pirates, too."
04:56 Maybe we would meet a charming stranger and feel a magical spark.
05:00 Maybe we would learn a deep truth about ourselves.
05:02 Or save a country from impending doom.
05:05 At the very least, we expected to make some zany new friends.
05:08 "Hakuna Matata?"
05:10 "It's our motto."
05:12 "What's the motto?"
05:13 "Nothing. What's the motto with you?"
05:14 Considering that running away is boring at best and dangerous at worst,
05:19 and it's not really something any kid should try,
05:21 but Disney often does make the idea look more appealing than it should.
05:25 "Woohoo! Best day ever!"
05:29 Number 5.
05:31 Real friendship is wild.
05:33 Feeling lonely? Maybe you're just not looking in the right places.
05:36 Instead of joining a club or something,
05:38 just take to nature, where the real ride-or-dies are waiting to be found.
05:42 "I've never done a thing on my own. I've never had any real friends."
05:46 "Well, now."
05:48 "Except you, Raja."
05:49 When rabies and lack of thumbs are no impediment,
05:52 Disney has shown us that human friends are no match for animal sidekicks.
05:56 People are so complicated and usually distracted with their own lives,
06:00 but animals offer total devotion no matter the circumstances.
06:03 "The single most humiliating day of my life.
06:06 I hope that you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady."
06:12 Of course, off-screen we have yet to find any critter
06:15 that is more interested in our human problems than their next meal,
06:18 and we definitely haven't seen any organized enough to run an atelier.
06:22 But is it wrong that we keep dreaming?
06:24 "And perhaps someday."
06:27 "The dreams that I wish will come true."
06:35 Number 4. True love.
06:40 Quick, easy, and good for what ails you.
06:42 One glance is all it takes.
06:44 Disney didn't invent this idea, but they definitely sold it the best
06:48 with the litany of couples who exemplify the trope.
06:51 You meet that person, and everything instantly falls into place,
06:54 and now you're happy forever.
06:56 "And now I know."
06:58 "And now I know."
06:59 "The key to all heaven is mine."
07:08 Anxiety, uncertainty, gone.
07:11 Not just from your love life, but from life in general.
07:13 Even death is no problem when you've got your romantic partner sorted out.
07:17 "Not in death, but just in sleep.
07:20 The fateful prophecy you'll keep.
07:22 And from this slumber you shall wait.
07:25 When true loves kiss, the spell shall break."
07:28 It's this knowledge that keeps us going through the trenches of modern dating.
07:32 It's weird though.
07:33 Even when it's going well, it sure seems like the rest of life
07:36 just keeps going, for better and worse.
07:39 Maybe we didn't do the first sight part right?
07:41 We'll try harder next time.
07:42 "This is kind of an off day for me.
07:44 This doesn't normally happen."
07:45 Number 3. Bad guys always pay the price.
07:49 Disney's villains go hard.
07:51 Ambitious and powerful, and a bit unhinged.
07:54 We have seen them do some terrible things in pursuit of their goals.
07:58 "Long live the king."
08:00 As traumatized as Scar or the Evil Queen left us,
08:12 we knew that justice would be served in the end.
08:15 Sometimes it's in the legal sense of the term,
08:17 sometimes it's more karmic retribution.
08:19 But we learned that evil doesn't pay.
08:21 "Oh, you sneaky old scoundrel."
08:26 Could someone give the real world that memo please?
08:32 Because from out here, it sometimes looks like the shadier someone is,
08:35 the more likely they are to be very successful.
08:38 Occasionally we get to see a villain get their comeuppance,
08:40 but we've definitely had to adjust our expectations from the much more
08:44 fair version of life that Disney presents us.
08:47 "Ha! You really should have thought of that before you became peasants.
08:50 We're through here. Take him away."
08:53 Number 2. Princess hair.
08:55 "Worry about my ice business. Worry about your hair."
08:59 "What? I just fell off a cliff, you should see your hair."
09:01 Anna's hair probably should be a mess, but of course it looks perfect.
09:05 In fact, for Disney heroines, even bad hair days look pretty good.
09:10 "Very nice."
09:10 "Oh, thank you. I can't do a thing with it in this humidity though, it's..."
09:14 Nothing frazzles these locks.
09:16 Remember Mulan shearing her hair into a perfect bob with one swipe of the sword,
09:20 and then flipping it straight up into a photo-ready top knot?
09:23 Or Rapunzel, whose misleadingly named film Tangled saw her running around
09:28 with a river of silky smooth hair no matter how crazy the situation.
09:32 Almost every Disney lady had a do that left us staring at the mirror in frustration,
09:37 trying to figure out where we were going wrong.
09:39 Forget curses and kisses, it's clearly the hair products that hold
09:42 all the real magic in the Disneyverse.
09:44 "Pretty."
09:45 "Beautiful. She's got these eyes that just... and this hair, wow."
09:50 Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
09:54 Take flight. No airplane required.
09:56 Umbrella, carpet, pixie dust, it's just a matter of finding the right method for you.
10:01 "It's easier than pie."
10:03 "He can fly."
10:05 "He can fly."
10:06 "He flew."
10:07 "Now you try."
10:10 Sleep is anything but a snooze.
10:12 Turns out it's pretty eventful, whether you're getting kissed awake
10:15 or falling into a magic fever dream.
10:17 "You sleep for yourself."
10:19 "Why, that's me! I'm asleep!"
10:23 Okay, but what is the deal with strangers?
10:26 Sometimes need to let them in the house or be cursed,
10:29 but sometimes they're trying to poison you.
10:31 We're getting mixed messages, Disney.
10:33 "Now, make a wish and take a bite."
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10:53 Number 1. Housework is fun, actually.
10:56 "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.
10:59 You find the fun and snap, the job's a game."
11:05 Mary Poppins, you lied to us.
11:07 Granted, some people really enjoy cleaning.
11:10 Even the neat freaks among us have discovered that no amount of cheerful
11:13 attitude can make some chores into a good time.
11:15 For one thing, they don't end.
11:17 You have to keep doing them over and over for the rest of time.
11:21 And not once have our local animals offered to help out.
11:24 Since cockroaches will outlive us all, the least they could do is pitch in.
11:28 "It's such fun to hum a happy working song.
11:31 A happy working song."
11:36 We've tried singing. We've tried snapping our fingers. Nothing.
11:39 The laundry, and the dishes, and the bathrooms just sit there waiting for us to roll up our sleeves.
11:44 This is the betrayal that cuts deepest, honestly.
11:47 "Will you be good enough to explain all this?"
11:49 "First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear."
11:53 "Yes?"
11:53 "I never explain anything."
11:56 Okay, maybe we should have seen that coming.
11:58 How did Disney leave you unprepared for life out here in the real world?
12:02 Let's commiserate in the comments.
12:04 "Forced to do it."
12:05 "No one will know the difference."
12:07 "Fine. Who cares as long as the work gets done?"
12:09 Do you agree with our picks?
12:11 Check out this other recent clip from Ms. Mojo.
12:14 And be sure to subscribe and ring the bell to be notified about our latest videos.
12:19 [Music]