"Kung titingnan natin maigi 'yung engaging or committing yourself into a relationship, may mga kaakibat din 'yung costs, especially financial costs."
Hoping to find "The One" ka ba sa 2024? Hindi lang daw mature mind ang kailangan sa pagpasok sa romantic relationship, pero pati rin healthy na bulsa. Kailangan ba yumaman muna bago umibig? 'Yan ang pag-uusapan ni Doc Anna kasama ang financial literacy advocate na si Aivan Karl Parducho ngayon sa #ShareKoLang.
Hoping to find "The One" ka ba sa 2024? Hindi lang daw mature mind ang kailangan sa pagpasok sa romantic relationship, pero pati rin healthy na bulsa. Kailangan ba yumaman muna bago umibig? 'Yan ang pag-uusapan ni Doc Anna kasama ang financial literacy advocate na si Aivan Karl Parducho ngayon sa #ShareKoLang.
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00:00 How's your Christmas party, my dears?
00:04 #SMP ka ba?
00:06 Or the celebration of Christmas being cold because you're a team single?
00:11 Is your wish to have no more Santa all in the new year?
00:16 Maybe 2024 is your year and you'll find the one!
00:22 But wait, it's not just the heart that's preparing for entering a relationship.
00:29 Even our pockets?
00:31 How important is it that a person is financially stable before entering a relationship?
00:38 That's what Doc Anna and financial literacy advocate Ivan Parducho discussed in this episode of Shareko Lang.
00:53 Hello, my dears. I'm Dr. Anna Tuazon, your storyteller and psychologist in Shareko Lang.
00:59 We asked you if it's important to be financially stable before entering a relationship.
01:06 We'll talk to your partners, financial literacy advocate Ivan Parducho.
01:14 Hi, Ivan! Welcome to Shareko Lang!
01:19 Hello, Doc.
01:21 Hello, Ivan.
01:23 Our topic is interesting because we've been talking about it, debating and arguing on social media.
01:35 Is it important to be financially stable before entering a relationship?
01:41 Is there an intersection of love life or relationship in financial stability?
01:50 It's very important that we realize that deep inside, if we look at engaging or committing yourself into a relationship,
02:00 there are different costs, especially financial costs.
02:04 If we look at all our movements, for example, if we're going to work, we have to spend money on a massage or fuel for our car.
02:13 It's the same when we're on a date. We have to spend money.
02:16 If you're just going to the venue, you have to spend money.
02:20 If you're going to prepare yourself, you have to spend money on beauty products in order to look good.
02:27 We Filipinos love to bond. We can't bond without eating.
02:33 I would say if you're going to commit into a relationship, you also have to check if you can add to your financial responsibilities.
02:44 So, in today's debate on social media, Ivan, where do you stand?
02:50 Do you agree that you have to be financially stable before entering a relationship?
02:56 I do agree with that statement because it's also hard if, as others say, you're just borrowing money for your date.
03:03 You're asking your parents for money for your date.
03:06 In a way, if both of you are financially stable, you will be able to better present yourself.
03:14 For example, you're going to introduce your partner to his parents.
03:19 It's better if you're financially stable.
03:23 Love would put food on the table.
03:26 It's easier if you both contribute to the cost compared to just one individual who spends for it.
03:35 So, my point of view is that both of you should contribute to the relationship.
03:41 Not just emotionally, not just physically, but also in terms of financial aspects.
03:45 So, we asked our listeners if they really believe that being financially stable is important.
03:53 We received a lot of passionate comments on both sides.
03:59 We have listeners who agree with your point, Ivan.
04:05 It's important. It's a factor.
04:09 One of our listeners said, "Of course, that's what a couple usually argues about.
04:15 What is love if there's no rice to buy?"
04:20 And another one, "It's important whether single, in a relationship, or married.
04:27 We also need to define what are our needs and wants, and what's important for us.
04:32 Financial literacy is the key."
04:35 So, before we talk about it, what does it mean to be financially stable?
04:40 I think that's where it's at.
04:42 People think that you need to be rich before you have the right to date or love.
04:50 But that's painful, right?
04:52 If you're only rich, you can't love.
04:56 So, what does it mean to be financially stable?
05:02 I think the simplest definition I can give is that it's not hard to pay your bills at the end of the month.
05:09 You don't worry or feel that you're not lacking in support for your family.
05:14 And also, at the same time, you still have a part of that money that you save or invest every month.
05:19 So, it doesn't mean that you need to be rich or you'll get rich to date, right?
05:24 No, you don't need to be too rich to date.
05:27 You just need to know where to spend your bills.
05:33 That's why it's called stable, right?
05:35 It doesn't mean that you need to be an employee who has the exact same salary every month.
05:41 But you still have something to expect.
05:44 Enough income to pay for your bills and needs.
05:48 And obviously, if you're dating, a little bit more.
05:51 Unless, they'll just do house dates.
05:55 So, that's what's financially stable.
05:58 You mentioned earlier, right?
06:00 It's not just the expense of the date.
06:03 You mentioned earlier the scenario of getting introduced to your parents, your girlfriend, your boyfriend.
06:11 Then, your parents will tease you.
06:14 "What will you feed my child?"
06:17 Yes, how important is money for the impression of parents, in-laws, of your girlfriend?
06:27 Again, you don't need to be too rich to impress your in-laws.
06:31 Maybe, they'll see that it's enough if I'll pay my child here.
06:35 She doesn't want to live with me.
06:36 She doesn't want to support her needs and wants.
06:41 If I'll pay her, her lifestyle will not change drastically.
06:51 Because, parents only want what's best for their children.
06:55 So, it's very practical and logical to think,
07:00 "Why would I pay someone to support my child?"
07:03 I know that my child will have a hard time.
07:06 If you show your child's parents that it's okay,
07:11 that she can support her child,
07:13 it will be easier for them to accept you.
07:16 Less problems.
07:17 Because, there's not much issue.
07:21 Do you need to be financially stable?
07:25 Or is it important that you are financially stable or your partner is financially stable?
07:32 Because, if you say you're going to pay, you're going to support,
07:36 it's as if your partner is on their own.
07:39 They can't handle that lifestyle.
07:41 They need to have a budget for that lifestyle.
07:44 Of course, that's an extreme view.
07:48 So, when it comes to being financially stable,
07:52 For me, personally, it's better if both are capable and stable.
07:57 Of course, if you're both in the beginning, the expenses are less.
08:02 But then, when you start having children,
08:04 your partner is expensive.
08:05 So, they're in need of allowance, food,
08:07 milk is expensive, diapers are expensive.
08:10 So, they also have to consider that.
08:12 And although, there are other couples,
08:15 they're getting married, but they have jobs.
08:17 But then, eventually,
08:18 for example, if they have more children,
08:20 let's say, there are two already,
08:22 sometimes, there are cases where the wife needs to focus on the house.
08:26 "I can't work."
08:27 So, it doesn't mean, for example,
08:31 "Oh, what to do? I can't work anymore."
08:33 So, it should be, "Husband, you're the only one."
08:35 So, it's also like that.
08:37 They should also talk as a couple.
08:39 "How are we going to plan?"
08:41 Because usually, the husband and wife will also argue about financial problems.
08:47 So, it's better if both are stable.
08:50 But if, for example, there's only one who can afford it,
08:54 he can really support his wife.
08:58 Again, it doesn't have to be very rich.
09:02 But the needs of the children are fulfilled.
09:05 Right?
09:06 They're eating properly, they're studying.
09:10 So, it also depends on the conversation of the couple.
09:13 Now, let's go to the other one.
09:15 I said, this topic is very rich, right?
09:18 And not everyone agrees that it needs to be financially stable
09:22 before entering a relationship.
09:25 We have people who say,
09:27 "It's not financially stable as long as you're in agreement,
09:31 you're giving and you're both strong to fulfill your dreams.
09:35 You both want to get out of poverty,
09:38 even if you both started from nothing,
09:40 I will help you in everything.
09:43 Solve the problem."
09:45 The other one said,
09:47 "I don't think so. It's not important."
09:49 Not necessarily stable if you can't keep your means.
09:53 No money, no fancy dates.
09:55 Just walk along the beach and enjoy each other's arms.
09:59 Then go home when you're hungry.
10:01 Never ever go somewhere else where nobody else can see you.
10:05 If you lack enough self-control.
10:07 Okay, I think there's an added advice from Kapusa.
10:11 The other one said,
10:13 "You can try to love when you're nothing.
10:17 If you're nothing, will he still like you if you're not rich?
10:22 It's important to have a dream.
10:25 For Kapusa, it's a test of character.
10:28 Will you love me even if I don't have you?
10:31 We can't date to have a date, etc."
10:35 So what they're saying is,
10:38 "You're solving the problem, you have a dream,
10:43 you have a goal.
10:45 What can you say to what they said?"
10:49 In a way, they also have a point.
10:52 Of course, a relationship is not just about money.
10:56 Money isn't everything,
10:58 but money is something in a relationship.
11:00 But it's also important that the partners are also connected in the relationship.
11:05 But it's advisable if they're capable.
11:10 Now, if the situation is, as mentioned,
11:13 they think it's not important to have money,
11:17 or they meet someone who's not financially stable,
11:20 what I can say is,
11:23 I think it's okay to engage in such a relationship
11:27 as long as you see that your partner or you two
11:31 is working out to improve yourself.
11:35 Not just yourself, but even your financial capability.
11:39 Because those who are like, "I'm not rich yet,"
11:43 but they're in sync and they have dreams,
11:46 so they're still in the process of getting there.
11:49 There's no rule that says, "If the situation is like that,
11:52 you can't love each other."
11:53 There's no such thing.
11:55 So what I can advise is,
11:57 if the situation is like that, or your partner is like that,
12:00 and he doesn't have money yet,
12:03 but if you see that he's working out to improve himself,
12:07 that he's in a good condition, that he has an efficient skill set,
12:11 and you see that there's potential,
12:13 it's just that right now, he's still in the process.
12:17 Then, by all means, go ahead.
12:19 It really depends on the situation.
12:21 And financial stability,
12:24 at least not for everyone,
12:27 it's not something we're born with,
12:29 that you're either stable or not.
12:31 What I understand now, Ivan,
12:34 is that it is a financial journey.
12:37 You have a goal, and you have a goal to achieve.
12:41 So, in a romantic relationship,
12:45 even if we're not there yet,
12:49 our dreams overlap.
12:51 There's enough overlap.
12:53 Because, in a way, a relationship is a shared life.
12:57 Yes.
12:58 Right?
12:59 Unless it's really very limited.
13:02 Is there such a thing as a relationship dating?
13:04 It's just like this, Wednesday at 7pm,
13:06 we'll meet up, everything else.
13:08 It's up to you, it's up to me.
13:10 If I'm out, it's up to you.
13:12 It's not that compartmentalized.
13:14 If you love someone, you're just in love,
13:17 the tendency is you want to share that life together.
13:21 So, you want to make sure that your individual life plans
13:25 have a lot of overlap.
13:28 My dears, it's not okay to have the same life plans.
13:34 That's why there's overlap.
13:35 Because we should have our own things to do,
13:39 our own friends.
13:40 Now, if we combine that, Ivan,
13:42 in a financial journey,
13:45 it's the same, right?
13:46 Maybe some people are more capable,
13:49 others are not.
13:50 Some are stable right away,
13:51 and some are in their 20s.
13:52 Some are like, "Wait, 20s? I don't know yet."
13:55 What career, what income.
13:58 And yet, if they both have dreams,
14:02 this is the lifestyle I want to achieve in life.
14:06 And this is my plan to achieve that lifestyle.
14:11 One will arrive faster,
14:13 the other will arrive slower.
14:14 So, the most important thing is how you talk,
14:18 there will be an arrangement
14:20 based on the situation that you are in
14:24 within the relationship.
14:26 So, communication is really important.
14:30 Financial literacy and communicating to each other as a couple.
14:36 Not on the first date,
14:38 you ask your salary right away,
14:40 what's your plan for life.
14:41 Not like that.
14:44 Like, a little bit of flirting first,
14:47 a little bit of getting to know you,
14:49 and eventually,
14:50 because if we are too avoidant or in denial,
14:54 that the financial reality is the reality,
14:57 that's what causes a lot of problems down the road.
15:02 Now, let's help them Ivan,
15:04 because we said,
15:05 number one, you don't have to be rich
15:09 before you start a relationship or date.
15:11 Because if it's just a date,
15:13 what will you do when you're together?
15:16 You can do a lot, right?
15:19 The important thing is to adjust your lifestyle,
15:23 your current lifestyle to the means.
15:25 So, they have what they call the 60-20-20 rule,
15:32 is that right?
15:33 Yes, please explain it to them,
15:35 because we will help them, right?
15:37 Like, okay, even if you started with nothing,
15:39 it's still okay,
15:40 as long as you have a goal,
15:42 you have a plan.
15:44 So, the 60-20-20 rule,
15:46 it follows the,
15:47 you said earlier about the savings,
15:49 at least 10% when it comes to income.
15:52 So, in the 60-20-20 rule,
15:54 you divide the remaining amount,
15:57 after you reduce it,
15:58 you reduce the 10%.
15:59 So, aside from this,
16:00 in 10%?
16:01 Yes.
16:02 You really prioritize the 10%,
16:04 no matter what.
16:05 When it comes to income,
16:06 you say 10%,
16:07 at least 10%,
16:08 so you always have savings every month.
16:09 Then, what will you save,
16:11 you divide it there,
16:12 60-20-20.
16:13 So, the 60-20-20 is three financial activities.
16:17 The first one is operating activities,
16:20 you allocate 60%,
16:22 at least 60%,
16:25 at most 60% of your remaining salary,
16:29 you should allocate to operating activities.
16:32 What are operating activities?
16:33 So, this is where your monthly bills go in,
16:36 so, electricity, rent, internet, etc.
16:39 Just monthly expenses.
16:42 So, why do you need to allocate 60%?
16:45 You won't be able to get past that.
16:47 Because you'll have a hard time...
16:51 There are potential problems long-term,
16:53 if you pass that.
16:55 60-20-20% is the ideal starting point.
16:58 The ratio changes,
17:00 depending on where you are.
17:02 But, starting point for everyone,
17:05 so 60-20-20.
17:07 And then, the 20% is for investing activities.
17:11 Like what I mentioned earlier,
17:12 we also need to give our money a fighting chance
17:15 against inflation.
17:16 So, we need to have a part of our money
17:19 that we invest,
17:20 so that it has potential for growth.
17:22 Then, the last 20% is for leisure activities.
17:28 Leisure activities are fun.
17:30 This is where dating comes in.
17:32 Yes.
17:34 So, for leisure activities,
17:36 this is the amount of money you can spend
17:38 anywhere you want.
17:40 Because, it's boring if you're just paying bills.
17:42 If you're just paying bills,
17:44 you'll be like, "I don't have money."
17:46 So, we also need to enjoy our hard work.
17:49 But, like I said,
17:51 we also need to know
17:53 how much we can splurge every month
17:56 on what we're spending,
17:57 so that it won't affect our finances too much.
18:00 So, 20% for leisure activities,
18:03 you can use it for check-outs on online shopping,
18:06 for splurging.
18:08 You can use it for dates,
18:10 or if you want to travel,
18:12 you can get money from there.
18:14 So, spend it anywhere you want.
18:16 At least, you'll still enjoy the money you earn.
18:19 You'll still be able to use it.
18:21 So, that's the 50-20-20.
18:23 60% for operating activities,
18:26 20% for investing,
18:27 and then another 20% for leisure activities.
18:30 So, that's it.
18:32 So, this will help.
18:34 Again, I feel like it's easier said than done.
18:37 It's not necessarily that it's easy to do every month.
18:39 Because, 60% for expenses,
18:41 you can just buy electricity,
18:44 internet, cellphones, right?
18:47 Especially if you're the only one
18:49 who doesn't have a share in the budget.
18:52 You really need to...
18:55 In a way, we need to experience it
18:58 at least once or even more.
19:00 You'll realize, "Oh, that's it."
19:02 Right?
19:03 So, maybe our operating expenses are already 90%.
19:07 Yes, if you're like that.
19:09 Maybe you can reduce something.
19:11 For example, he's addicted to coffee.
19:13 Maybe you can reduce the cheaper brands
19:15 or reduce your visits to coffee shops.
19:18 That's what you'll check.
19:20 "Oh, I'll reduce this, I'll reduce that."
19:23 So, you can reduce your expenses.
19:26 So, you can enter the good ratio of 60-20-20.
19:29 And sometimes,
19:32 you'll really lack something.
19:35 So, that's what we advise.
19:37 Again, it's your choice.
19:39 But look for other sources of income
19:42 if you can afford it.
19:44 But it's better if you can afford it.
19:46 And maybe, again, when it comes to saving
19:50 to make sure you have a lifestyle
19:51 that you can afford to date.
19:53 Right, Lale?
19:54 Maybe the date we want.
19:56 Maybe the date we want is in Tagaytay.
19:58 Right?
19:59 Traveling, glamping,
20:01 it's popular now.
20:02 Right?
20:03 Staycation and glamping.
20:05 Maybe there's a way that even if you're not there yet,
20:08 people say,
20:10 "It's not romantic to be together."
20:13 "It's not romantic to be together."
20:16 "What do you want to do?"
20:17 But maybe, I think,
20:20 we can make it romantic.
20:22 We can make the process enjoyable.
20:25 So, Ivan, thank you so much.
20:29 Thank you so much for letting us talk about this.
20:32 Because it's all about romance.
20:35 Like, is it okay to love?
20:38 And yet, at the same time, it's okay.
20:41 And we have realistic factors and concerns.
20:47 Thank you.
20:48 If you want to talk about something,
20:50 just leave a comment below.
20:52 Or email us at sharekolang@gmainews.tv
20:57 We're also streaming on Spotify,
21:00 Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.
21:03 Thanks for tuning in!
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