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00:00 [music ends]
00:02 [music]
00:26 Stand by everybody as we turn the calendar back 500 years and bring you the 123rd running of the Canterbury Tournament at Blunderstone Castle.
00:32 The weather is clear, the turf is fast, and it looks as if all attendance records will be smashed to smithereens this afternoon.
00:37 Yes sirree!
00:38 [music]
00:40 Spread out plum pudding, hot pudding too.
00:46 Get your plow clamps here folks, you can't hear one noise from another without a plow clamp.
00:52 To the winner of this world famous tournament today will go riches, honour and glory and the frail white delicate hand of the lovely Princess Esmeralda.
00:59 Fairest flower in all the kingdom.
01:01 [music]
01:03 Yahoo!
01:05 What a prize for stout-hearted knights to do and die for.
01:09 And now we take you to the dressing room of the challenger, Sir Loinstake.
01:12 14 points of brawn, muscle and courage.
01:14 Blonde and blue-eyed, ready to pit his strength against the champion for the heavyweight cast-iron slugging title of the British Empire.
01:20 [music]
01:22 And here we have the little man who ever since early morning has been preparing his knight for the big day.
01:28 Introducing Cedric, the loyal and humble servant who dreams of some afternoon when he too will become a knight and face death for the smile of a lovely princess.
01:36 [sigh]
01:38 But today Cedric's duty is to see to it that his master is completely overhauled.
01:41 Valves ground, new piston rings, brakes re-lined, body simonized and a complete change of oil.
01:46 [slurping]
01:48 [music]
01:50 [sniff]
01:52 [music]
01:55 The big moment is drawing close now. The crowd is on his toes and yelling for action.
02:06 And we go into final preparations for the big event.
02:08 The all-important last-minute touches that may very well snatch victory from defeat.
02:12 [music]
02:14 Uh-oh, hurry Cedric, hurry!
02:16 [music]
02:18 Get rid of it stupid, anywhere, under the rug.
02:28 There's no time to lose. Before you can say Jack Robinson, the two sturdy gladiators will be out there.
02:32 Hurry up Cedric. Slugging it out for the championship.
02:35 The betting is four to one in favor of the champion, but the challenger is going in there with all the confidence in the world.
02:39 And there may be an upset if Sir Loinstead can turn the tables.
02:41 It's only a matter of seconds now before the two arm-affliated contestants meet face to face on the field of honor.
02:45 The last minute preparations. But wait there, something's gone wrong here.
02:49 Sir Loinstead is out, completely out, a cold night.
02:51 There's been a slip-up and it looks as though the tournament may be off.
02:54 But there's still Cedric. Look here Cedric, you're in the armor now. Fate has smiled upon you.
02:59 Lucky stiff, this is your big chance.
03:01 Just imagine you Cedric can be a hero and win the glory, the riches and the honor.
03:05 To say nothing of the fair hand of the Princess Esmeralda.
03:08 Think of it Cedric, the chance of a lifetime.
03:11 [music]
03:13 And now coming out on the field, that night of knights, circumference, the champion.
03:18 [music]
03:21 Old iron pants they call him, never lost his seat in combat.
03:24 But many a gallant knight has gone down to defeat 'neath the hooves of his trusty war horse.
03:28 [music]
03:30 And here we have the challenger. It's the loyal Cedric doubling for Sir Loinstead, willing to do or die for his master.
03:36 Or could it be the fair Princess Esmeralda?
03:38 [music]
03:44 Looks like love at first sight. With an inspiration like this, how could anyone fail?
03:49 [music]
03:51 [cheering]
03:53 Easy there Cedric, easy does it.
03:56 And now the knights and horses are in the starting gate.
03:58 They're all ready. Battle stations, visors down, lances set.
04:01 Any minute now.
04:03 Although circumference the champion is the odds on favorite, ladies and gentlemen,
04:05 anything can happen out here this afternoon, and probably will.
04:09 The crowd is waiting for the starting signal. It's just a matter of seconds now.
04:12 The fans are on their toes, and here they go.
04:15 The champion is going to the front, and here comes Cedric the challenger.
04:18 Both boys are moving in at a furious pace. It's going to be ghastly.
04:21 They're moving closer now. Cedric is on the rail. Here's the champion.
04:24 They're coming up the line of scrimmage.
04:26 [music]
04:33 It's all over, it's all over.
04:36 With circumference the winner, and still champion.
04:40 Bravo, bravo.
04:43 Boo! Boo!
04:47 But just a minute folks. Hold your horses. What's this?
04:50 Yes, it is. Believe it or not, little old Cedric is in there again.
04:53 What a fighting heart.
04:55 And now the champion sets himself for another charge.
04:58 There's the wind-up, the pitch, and the champion connects.
05:01 A fine drive going over third base. No, a long foul ball into the left field reaches.
05:05 But little Cedric is right back in there again.
05:07 It's a hot night we have out there this afternoon.
05:11 But the champion is on his toes too, and that's a mighty fistful of sword he has there.
05:15 And this time he means business. He's going in for the kill.
05:18 Poor little old Cedric. This really looks like the beginning of the end, folks.
05:21 No night living could stand up under this powerhouse offensive.
05:24 It may be the kid's last ride, but he's right in their pitch.
05:27 And he connects. What a sock this little fella packs.
05:30 And the champ rocks back on his heels. Little Cedric sure sprung a surprise that time.
05:34 But the champion is splashing back now with a right and a left, a right and a left.
05:39 He's making every blow count. One, two, three, four.
05:42 No holes barred in this battle.
05:44 There's a smashing right, and Cedric loses his hip for a moment.
05:49 But now the champion takes one of the noggins.
05:57 The champ is taking a little more time now. He's lost a little bit of his confidence.
06:00 This challenger is no green button.
06:02 He moves in and lets fly with the whirlwind attack.
06:04 A left, a right, a left, a right, right, left, right, left.
06:06 The champ is throwing everything he's got at him, Cedric.
06:08 Now what's holding this kid up? He can't take this bombardment much longer.
06:11 Why doesn't somebody stop this slaughter? It just don't seem human.
06:15 It's unbearable. There ought to be a law.
06:17 Why, the whole suit will have to be scrapped, including Cedric.
06:21 But wait, the champion seems to be tiring.
06:23 Those sledgehammer blows are losing some of their steam.
06:25 The champ is breathing hard now.
06:27 Then again, we take you back inside with Cedric.
06:29 Let it cool, this boy.
06:31 But wait, something's happening out there. Let's have a look-see.
06:34 Could it be that old iron pants is beginning to weaken?
06:36 Yes, he reels in his saddle.
06:38 It looks like he's going down. Yes, he's down, he's down.
06:41 And that wraps it up, folks.
06:43 The winner and new champion of the World Championship,
06:46 little old Cedric.
06:48 Well, that's the way it goes, folks.
06:50 Champ one day, champ the next.
06:52 What a day for a night, and what a night for a day.
06:56 What a day for a night, and what a night for a day.
07:00 [music]