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00:00 I don't care how sexy she is, how handsome he is.
00:05 You gon' hate you marry somebody you can't talk to.
00:10 You gon' hate that when you're ready to flow intellectually,
00:16 you gotta dummy it down so they can eat it.
00:20 You gotta smash it up like they're a baby.
00:23 You gotta intellectually become a midget
00:26 in order to maintain your marriage.
00:29 Welcome back to Dr. R.A. Burden TV, season three.
00:34 I need you to drop some fire in the comment, in the chat.
00:38 I need you to tell somebody, I need you to share it.
00:41 I need you to make a few calls, text a few people,
00:43 say you gotta hear it.
00:45 Part two, can we talk?
00:48 I thought last time we were together, it just went there.
00:53 It was like, what just happened?
00:55 It just got raw, it got real.
00:57 I'm arguing that the answer to every question you have
01:02 is not in the Bible.
01:03 I know that sounds heretical,
01:05 but those who have been trained formally
01:09 absolutely know what I'm talking about.
01:10 And even those of you that have read informally know
01:13 the Bible was never intended to give you every answer
01:16 to every question, particularly relationally.
01:18 It is our roadmap.
01:20 It is the closest thing we have on earth
01:23 to the revealed will of God.
01:25 So I have a very high value of Bible, sola scriptura.
01:30 Sola scriptura.
01:32 I believe the Bible is the most important document on earth.
01:36 By far I do.
01:38 But that said, everything's not in there.
01:40 I asked you last time we were together
01:42 because we're talking about communication.
01:43 We're talking about, can we talk?
01:46 Show me a chapter in the Bible
01:48 where a man is having a real conversation with his wife.
01:52 Tell me or show me a real conversation in scripture
01:55 where they're talking about home of origin issues,
01:57 what they need in the bedroom,
01:59 I mean, the song of Solomon,
02:01 you see some graphic stuff, it goes there a bit.
02:04 So it's just not biblically and theologically.
02:08 I need some teaching practically and experientially.
02:12 So this Biblecast/podcast, Bible podcast
02:17 is to give you some practical steps on how to stay married,
02:22 how to make somebody want to marry you behind,
02:24 how to be a good husband one day
02:27 to those brothers who are single,
02:29 to young ladies who wanna be found by a good man,
02:32 how to be a better parent, easier to talk to,
02:35 even for your grown kids.
02:37 You think because you're grown,
02:39 because they're grown,
02:40 your kids don't still need a soft place to talk?
02:43 Are you easy to talk to?
02:45 Are you a good communicator or a decent average?
02:48 Maybe not good at all.
02:51 Last time we were together, we started kicking it.
02:53 I thought I was gonna deal with sort of parental stuff
02:56 and we're going there.
02:57 This can't, we talk, we're gonna sit here for a minute.
03:01 Today, I wanna continue tonight,
03:03 whenever you're watching.
03:04 Last time we were together, I gave you some scriptures.
03:07 I gave you scriptures,
03:08 but I also gave you practicality on communication.
03:12 Ephesians 4, 29, "Watch the way you talk.
03:14 Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth.
03:18 Say only what helps each word of gift."
03:21 Somebody was thinking,
03:23 "Can I talk dirty to my wife in the bed?"
03:26 Talk dirty as you want, brother.
03:27 The bed is undefiled in marriage.
03:30 People ask me all the time about pornography
03:33 and all of that within holy matrimony.
03:36 The only thing you can't do as a couple
03:40 is add a third person.
03:41 On the TV, in person, no.
03:44 We don't need a third person.
03:45 That's not God's will.
03:46 We don't need somebody else to turn us on
03:49 or watching two other people.
03:50 No, that's when it gets to be demonic.
03:53 No, God does not need demonic stuff
03:56 to keep my bed off the chain.
03:57 No, I just need that girl to keep it tight, keep it right.
04:01 We communicate as to what she need, what I need.
04:06 You know what I mean?
04:07 Particularly for men, I'm not backing off this.
04:09 I get in trouble, it's polemical,
04:11 but I'm right and everybody else wrong.
04:13 I'm right, everybody else wrong.
04:15 My heterosexual brother who still liked to make love
04:19 need his woman to look good to him.
04:22 And let me be clear, to him.
04:24 That might be skinny, heavy, light, dark.
04:27 That's another thing.
04:27 Keep watching this.
04:29 I'm writing my book.
04:31 I'm writing the third edition of "10 Rules of Dating."
04:35 And this time the subtext is the rules have changed
04:39 because post-pandemic, dating now, DMs,
04:43 is different than a little black book.
04:45 Some of you go way back with me
04:47 when a bro had his little black book
04:49 and you saw a girl you liked,
04:50 you take out your little black book.
04:51 Look at Denzel.
04:53 He wasn't even born, Phil.
04:54 Yeah, gentlemen, you would take out your little black book.
04:57 Can I get your number?
04:58 And you write her number in your little black book.
05:00 There's some old players watching.
05:02 I need you to type in the comments.
05:03 Sounds like my daddy passed, so that's my daddy, them.
05:06 Now, how do we go from little black book to DM?
05:09 The rules have changed.
05:11 So this tour, 2024, is gonna be off the chain.
05:14 I'm coming to a city near you.
05:16 But I wanna talk about communication.
05:18 I wanna keep going.
05:20 If you missed it, I need you to watch last week's
05:22 Bible Cases right here on our YouTube channel.
05:25 It'll catch you up if you're watching for the first time.
05:27 You gotta watch last week.
05:29 But I wanna continue.
05:30 We were talking about communication
05:31 and how critical it is to substantive
05:34 and serious relationships.
05:36 Who needs to listen to this?
05:38 Those who want to be married,
05:40 those who used to be married,
05:42 those who are married,
05:44 those persons who have a child,
05:46 leaders who people listen to and want to be listened to by.
05:51 If that's you, this is the Bible cast for you.
05:56 We talked about some practical things.
05:57 Last time I told you when I'm talking to my wife
06:01 or anybody and they're saying something serious,
06:04 I need to lean toward them.
06:06 Remember that?
06:07 Leaning toward them says what you're saying
06:09 is significant.
06:10 What you're saying is significant.
06:12 I'm blocking out everything else on the peripheral.
06:15 Only you matter.
06:17 Then I told you when you could repeat back to me
06:19 what I said, that tells me that you were really listening.
06:22 Not just listening to respond.
06:26 Not just listening to respond.
06:28 Come on, you know that one more time.
06:30 Your husband's talking, you sitting there like, mm-hmm.
06:33 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
06:35 but that tells him you weren't listening.
06:39 You were just getting your arsenal ready to fire back at me.
06:43 People like that end up alone.
06:45 Or your spouse ends up with somebody
06:48 who will listen to them on the side.
06:50 That's real talk.
06:51 Your kids, you know, the Radcliffe,
06:55 who's one of our therapists on staff,
06:58 said that most kids only can handle 25 words.
07:03 Get your head around that.
07:04 After that, they're blocking you out if you're just fussing.
07:08 The average child can only handle 25 words.
07:11 I have a 13-year-old, a 17-year-old.
07:13 I've talked way too much at times.
07:15 I'm learning how do I get them to hear me,
07:18 to communicate with them.
07:20 So rather you be a parent, a grandparent,
07:23 an entrepreneur who has persons who work for you,
07:26 particularly any romantic interest that you have,
07:29 this is gonna be a life-changing teaching.
07:32 So last time we were together, I hit Colossians 4, verse 6.
07:37 "Be gracious in your speech.
07:39 "The goal is to bring out the best in others
07:42 "in a conversation, not put them down or cut them out."
07:46 And I said it, I meant it.
07:49 Every time you talk, you should build me up.
07:52 You're my wife.
07:53 You're not my enemy.
07:54 You're not my toxic mama.
07:58 You're not my daddy who had no training.
08:01 You're my husband.
08:03 Build me up.
08:05 Even if you have to say something truthful to me,
08:08 we understand what I've taught for years.
08:10 Look at me, write this down.
08:12 Positive, negative, positive.
08:15 We'll drop it on the screens.
08:16 Positive, negative, positive.
08:19 One more time, here it is.
08:20 Positive, negative, positive.
08:24 Whenever you have to say anything to anybody,
08:27 you start off positive.
08:29 Start off by saying something kind.
08:32 Start off with some sort of compliment.
08:35 Then you gotta say the hard part in the middle.
08:38 Then end with something again that's uplifting.
08:41 Listen, you know you're a great husband.
08:43 Honestly, you provide in a way
08:46 that I didn't even see my father provide.
08:47 You provide.
08:49 And I watch you get up every day
08:51 and kill it for me and the kids.
08:54 I just wanna tell you, baby, I'm proud of you.
08:56 I couldn't ask for a better provider.
08:58 At the same time, you seem not to care too much
09:02 about stewarding what we make.
09:04 You're kinda overspending.
09:06 You're not communicating with me.
09:08 And it's throwing our whole budget off.
09:10 You told me we were saving money, but you're spending.
09:12 You just bought another car.
09:13 You're buying clothes.
09:15 And it's putting us in a bad position.
09:17 Financially, I'm trying to budget our money,
09:19 but you're just doing what you wanna do,
09:20 and it's killing me.
09:21 Now, again, but I wanna tell you,
09:23 I appreciate how you're killing it, though.
09:25 And just, you know, with a few little changes,
09:27 we can be off the chain, but just know,
09:29 I love your grind, and I appreciate your grind.
09:32 Wow.
09:34 So I heard the positive.
09:36 You said what you had to say, but then you lifted me.
09:40 You built me.
09:41 You ain't breaking me down.
09:43 Wow, wow, wow.
09:44 That speaks to this.
09:45 And I said this last time we were together,
09:48 and I said this, and I just wanna reread
09:50 a little bit of it.
09:51 I said, "Your wife exists to bring glory to God
09:53 "by doing good to others.
09:55 "This means your task as a loving husband
09:58 "is to be committed and creative in helping her do this.
10:01 "It's your task to help her unleash her gifts,
10:05 "her talents, and her passions.
10:07 "Bring the best out your woman.
10:09 "Bring the best."
10:10 And I really mean it.
10:12 Husbands love your wives.
10:14 Husbands love your wives.
10:16 The Bible says, "Love her like Christ loved the church."
10:20 I said last time we were together,
10:23 the Bible doesn't even tell me to love my kids like that.
10:27 It doesn't.
10:28 It doesn't tell me to love my members like that.
10:32 Only place that says that is regarding my wife
10:35 and wives reverence your husband.
10:38 Can we talk?
10:39 Can we talk?
10:41 Are you easy to talk to?
10:43 Do we flow when we communicate?
10:47 Because at some point I need more than the bed.
10:50 And I'm not Reverend Buckwheat from Mama's Church.
10:54 I'm Dr. R.A. Vernon.
10:56 I have to be me.
10:58 And I don't minimize sexuality in my Christianity.
11:02 Number one, I'm a straight up bra.
11:04 I'm an alpha man in every sense.
11:07 But seriously, or should I say, but spiritually, folks,
11:11 biologically, anthropologically, I'm sexual.
11:15 Yeah, with one woman, with one woman.
11:18 And why are we afraid to talk about sex and money
11:21 when you know you want both of them?
11:22 Most people watch it.
11:24 All right, so for me, Lady Vernon, I picked right.
11:27 If I Googled a girl,
11:29 I would Google the woman I'm married to.
11:31 She's short, but she got all the, you know,
11:33 every bra got what he need
11:36 or should have what he need in his bed.
11:38 That's for free.
11:39 All single brothers.
11:40 I'm not, I'm not, why do you link?
11:43 Did I tell you I cover pastors all across the country?
11:47 Did I tell you literally pastors
11:50 call me from across the country?
11:52 Dad, pray for me.
11:53 I love her, but I'm just not sexually attracted.
11:56 So you married somebody you don't want to sleep with.
11:59 Yeah, you married, oh, you like big breasts,
12:03 but you married a girl with none.
12:05 And now you're going to play her and cheat on her
12:08 and watch pornography, commit adultery
12:11 because you didn't get what you liked.
12:13 That's unfair to her.
12:14 So, so I don't minimize picking right.
12:18 That's the upcoming Bible cast.
12:20 I'm coming to a city near you.
12:22 The one night stand for singles,
12:24 married couples are invited to,
12:27 I'm a be rough, I'm a be raw.
12:29 Yeah, you got to pick right.
12:30 It's the biggest decision you're going to make in your life.
12:32 Denzel, you hear me behind the camera?
12:34 Feel two single guys.
12:36 I ride them.
12:38 I hear they dating somebody.
12:39 I stop them and say, does she have enough behind?
12:41 You like big behinds or little behinds?
12:42 'Cause she got a little one.
12:44 Oh, you like little ones 'cause hers too big.
12:46 What do you like?
12:47 Because you get one.
12:49 Yeah, we not pimps.
12:51 We not players.
12:52 We're committed.
12:53 We only get one.
12:54 So get what you like, single men watching me.
12:58 Women too, but particularly single men, pick what you like.
13:01 That's a whole nother Bible cast.
13:04 Sexuality is critical, particularly for men,
13:08 for women too, is real.
13:11 But you stay married long enough,
13:12 you'll find out that right next to it,
13:14 it may be one A is communication.
13:17 Because if I don't like talking to you,
13:19 eventually I might not be attracted to you,
13:22 particularly for women.
13:24 You don't care who you are,
13:25 how much you got in your pants, any of that.
13:27 When a woman blocks you out,
13:29 and to you brothers who think you're the most well-endowed,
13:32 most sexual brother, you got so much,
13:35 can't no woman handle you,
13:37 don't ever forget a baby came out of there.
13:40 When I saw my wife have my first son,
13:45 I said, I ain't doing nothing.
13:47 I said, I better make this girl like me
13:50 'cause I ain't killing nothing.
13:52 A human being just came out of there.
13:54 Five have come out of there.
13:55 So if she don't like me, she can turn and tune me out
14:00 and whatever I'm doing on top of her is not gonna matter.
14:03 This is raw, this is a Bible cast.
14:06 Communication becomes critical.
14:09 Communication, my job is to communicate in such a way
14:13 that you feel heard by me.
14:16 When a woman feels heard, when a man feels heard,
14:22 when a child feels heard, when a employee feels heard,
14:27 it makes them give you their best.
14:34 Right?
14:35 And that's the goal of life, right?
14:36 To get people's best.
14:38 And so many of us haven't been the best communicators
14:42 in the past and this teaching is going to help you.
14:45 So I need you to share it, I need you to call somebody.
14:48 Let's go deeper.
14:49 Can we talk?
14:50 One of the rules of my first book on dating,
14:53 the 10 rules of dating was there must be connectivity
14:58 and compatibility, connectivity and compatibility.
15:02 Watch this, 1 Corinthians 2 verse 14 says,
15:05 "The natural person does not accept the things
15:08 "of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him
15:11 "and he is not able to understand them
15:13 "because they are spiritually discerned."
15:15 Let me read it from the message.
15:16 The message says, you'll love this.
15:18 "The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature,
15:23 "can't receive the gifts of God's Spirit.
15:26 "There's no," I love this, "capacity for them.
15:29 "They seem like so much silliness.
15:32 "Spirit can be known only by Spirit, God's Spirit
15:36 "and our Spirit and open communion."
15:39 Oh!
15:40 They have no capacity.
15:45 Please hear me single people.
15:47 If some of you marry couples that are struggling,
15:49 let me at least give you the reality of your situation.
15:53 You married somebody possibly
15:56 with not enough capacity for you.
15:58 Paul here in context is talking about a person
16:03 who has the Holy Spirit, who knows God,
16:07 trying to have a conversation with somebody who don't.
16:10 You're talking about the wonderful things of God.
16:12 You're talking about how you were praying
16:13 in tongues this morning.
16:15 You're talking about the joy of God
16:17 and everybody know your mother just died.
16:19 And yet God has given you a joy
16:21 that with the passing of your mother,
16:23 with tears in your eyes, you never lost your joy.
16:26 Paul says a person who does not have
16:29 the capacity spiritually to handle that,
16:32 that's folly, it's silly, it's crazy.
16:36 All right?
16:37 So now let's build a bridge.
16:38 Let's build a bridge of contemporization
16:41 from antiquity to modernity,
16:43 from biblical time to right now, all right?
16:47 In the same way to hook up with somebody
16:51 who doesn't have the mental, emotional,
16:54 or spiritual capacity to handle you is a long life.
16:59 That's a long life.
17:02 Oh, she's sexy, but she's just not that smart.
17:06 He's handsome, but cognitively he's slow.
17:12 I tell the story all the time.
17:14 Years and years ago, I'll never forget
17:17 one of the young ladies at my church
17:19 who I knew I had raised up in the Lord.
17:21 She was smart, had a master's degree,
17:24 great communicator, quick, witty.
17:28 She liked another guy at our church
17:30 who was handsome, good brother, but just a step slow.
17:34 Just need a minute.
17:37 You know the kind of person,
17:38 you say something they need to process,
17:40 just takes them a minute to flow.
17:42 And well, I said to her,
17:46 "I don't think he the one.
17:49 You too quick.
17:50 Yeah, your mind moves too fast, but pastor,
17:53 come on girls, y'all know how y'all are.
17:54 Once you like somebody, he all right."
17:57 I said, "Let me say this again.
18:00 I don't think he's quick enough for you.
18:04 I think he's too slow for you.
18:07 Your mind is fast, you're witty, you're intelligent.
18:10 He just need a minute.
18:11 Good hearted brother, but I can see yourself tiring
18:16 and being bored quickly."
18:17 They got married anyway, after I told her not to.
18:22 Two years later, she was cheating on him
18:25 because in a very real sense,
18:27 don't no woman want to sleep with her son.
18:30 He didn't have the capacity to handle her mentally
18:34 and she broke the covenant and she was wrong
18:37 because she made the choice to do what her pastor
18:40 told her not to do.
18:41 Please hear me, those of you who are single,
18:43 get somebody with the capacity.
18:46 When you're on this first date,
18:48 you are listening to how witty they are,
18:51 how quick they are.
18:52 That's not in the Bible.
18:53 This is not in the Bible.
18:55 It's not any place in the Bible, check and see.
18:58 So we think he that finds a wife.
19:00 No, you better find a wife who's smart enough
19:03 to keep you engaged.
19:05 Yeah, you need to have a real talk
19:07 with whoever you're married to.
19:08 Listen, I need you to read more.
19:09 Those who are married, listen, we can't undo our marriage,
19:12 but have real talks like, look,
19:14 I need us to read more of the same things.
19:17 I need us to engage more.
19:19 Now, sometimes it's difficult because it's hard
19:21 to pour a gallon into a pint.
19:22 I heard Bishop Jake say this years ago,
19:24 it's hard to pour a gallon into a pint.
19:27 Sometimes you just been fooled around and married a pint
19:30 and you're going to have to just live with it
19:32 and find out the good of them and embrace it.
19:35 Talk to your sister, talk to your mom.
19:37 And I love this parenthetically.
19:39 Sometime you want to be grown, you want to be a Christian.
19:42 Oh, you can run and get you another man
19:43 and be unbiblical and get divorced because you pick wrong.
19:47 You pick wrong.
19:48 You're a great person, but you pick wrong.
19:50 So now the world says, just get you another man,
19:53 but now there are kids involved.
19:54 There's houses involved.
19:56 There's God's word involved.
19:57 Sometime you have to be honest and say, you'll love this.
20:01 Oh, this is so good.
20:02 I'm just not going to get everything I need from my spouse.
20:07 So thank God I got my mom.
20:09 Thank God I got my sister.
20:11 Thank God I got some female friends, not a male friend
20:14 because a woman don't need to be friends with another man
20:17 because eventually if he's communicating right,
20:19 y'all would be in the bed somewhere.
20:21 So sometime your reality,
20:22 see this Bible cast is going to be about reality.
20:25 The reality is everybody didn't pick right.
20:27 Everybody watching this don't flow.
20:29 Some people got married too young.
20:31 Some people didn't pray enough.
20:32 Some people, the sex was good.
20:34 It was good in the bed,
20:35 not realizing it wasn't going to be no good for their head.
20:38 They were good in the bed.
20:40 They were good in the bed.
20:42 So you didn't realize they'd be no good for your head
20:46 and you bust a quick move.
20:48 As believers, we stick and stay, baby.
20:50 If there's no cheating, no beating,
20:52 we ain't just running out on our wife
20:54 because she's not quick as our secretary
20:57 or some other girl we've been talking to.
20:58 No, sometime you don't get everything at home.
21:04 Thank God for other relationships that have value.
21:07 But to single people, I'm telling you,
21:10 don't hook up with nobody who doesn't have the capacity.
21:13 Can I tell you 25 years of marriage,
21:16 me and this girl can talk theology.
21:19 We laugh, inside jokes.
21:22 We're thinking the same thing.
21:24 I can drop something on her.
21:25 Politically, we converse, okay?
21:28 Of course, the sexual thing is off the chain.
21:30 I'm just telling you the truth, at least for me.
21:32 You have to talk to her, but I love sleeping with her.
21:34 Hope she likes sleeping with me.
21:35 But I'm in love with every part of her.
21:38 But imagine somebody who talks for a living
21:40 with a woman who cannot intellectually stimulate me.
21:45 I'm a reader.
21:46 I think it's obvious my mind moves pretty quick.
21:49 I can't have nobody slow.
21:51 That would be a long life for me.
21:54 Oh, oh, we were in the hotel Texan Kirkus,
22:00 Texan Kirkus, out of the country.
22:04 And then the week before that,
22:07 we were in another city and it hit me.
22:09 We'd been in this room for 14 days
22:13 and not one day, let God be my witness,
22:18 did I not want her to be there.
22:21 Not one day of those 14 days was I thinking,
22:24 man, can you go someplace for a while?
22:27 Man, give me a day.
22:28 I'm just tired of looking at you.
22:29 We laugh so much.
22:32 I am an apologist for marriage.
22:34 I'm an apologist that when you hook up
22:37 with somebody singles, particularly bros here,
22:40 who number one, got the coldest body you need.
22:42 I don't care if it's slim.
22:43 I don't care if it's thick.
22:45 I don't care if it's heavy.
22:46 The coldest body you need,
22:48 the coldest body you need for 30 years,
22:52 this the only woman you're gonna sleep with.
22:53 So don't minimize how she look.
22:55 I'm never changing my mind.
22:57 Rule number one in my book is there must be
22:59 physical attraction, especially for men.
23:02 But rule number three in my first book is
23:05 there must be connectivity and compatibility.
23:08 At some point, I don't care how sexy she is,
23:13 how handsome he is, you gonna hate
23:18 you marry somebody you can't talk to.
23:20 You gonna hate that when you're ready
23:24 to flow intellectually, you gotta dummy it down
23:28 so they can eat it.
23:30 You gotta smash it up like they're a baby.
23:32 You gotta intellectually become a midget
23:35 in order to maintain your marriage.
23:38 Ooh, you have to intellectually become a midget
23:41 to maintain your marriage.
23:43 No, I wanna grow and go.
23:45 So communication becomes critical.
23:50 The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature,
23:53 1 Corinthians 2, 14, can't receive the gifts of God's spirit.
23:56 There's no capacity for them.
24:00 There's no capacity.
24:02 When you're on the first date, yes, yes, bros.
24:07 Yes, bros.
24:08 If you don't like my Bible cast, watch somebody else's.
24:11 I love you.
24:12 I've walked, did I tell you I've been pastoring almost,
24:15 yeah, over two decades.
24:18 I've counseled hundreds of couples.
24:20 Some pastors that you look up to call me spiritual daddy.
24:24 I've walked with them.
24:25 This is what I do.
24:27 And hear me when I tell you, hear me when I tell you,
24:31 it is critical.
24:34 There is nothing better in this world
24:37 than to be with somebody that has the capacity.
24:40 Can I tell you what's cold-blooded?
24:42 I was thinking the other day, and I'm wrapping this up.
24:44 The woman I love the most
24:48 is also the woman I lust the most.
24:51 So when I'm making love, I'm like, oh my goodness,
24:55 this is off the chain, and you my girl.
24:59 I mean, all of us who are straight up bros
25:02 can make love to a fine woman, have sex, it's not love,
25:05 and enjoy the sex.
25:06 Let's not play that game.
25:08 But most times, bros told me this.
25:11 One friend of mine told me he would get through with a girl.
25:14 And when she was in the bathroom, kind of cleaning up,
25:18 he'd take the sheets off the bed.
25:20 Some of you been there.
25:22 He'd take the sheets off the bed, which was to say to her,
25:26 you know, probably want you to go home now,
25:28 'cause now he's satisfied.
25:31 I don't love you, but I lust you, so the sex was great.
25:34 But now, you know, he would take the sheets off the bed,
25:38 which was her signal, you're not spending the night.
25:40 I don't love you like that.
25:41 Oh, to lust somebody and then get through making love,
25:48 and wanna lay there and talk the rest of the night,
25:52 because they have the capacity.
25:54 You're not bored, okay?
25:58 So those who are single become a,
26:02 okay, I'm gonna say this and then I'm done.
26:04 On the first date, if you are thinking to yourself,
26:08 she's not quick enough, you drop her off with respect
26:12 and say, I don't sense a divine connection.
26:15 So thank you for going out with me tonight,
26:16 but my pastor trained me
26:18 that if I don't sense a divine connection,
26:20 don't use a woman.
26:21 And so I'm not sensing a divine connection.
26:25 She is going to feel some kind of way when you say that,
26:30 especially that night.
26:31 But when she processes what you said,
26:35 she'll have to think to herself, he was right.
26:39 At least he didn't try to go to bed with me.
26:40 At least he didn't use me and play me.
26:42 It felt, it made me feel some kind of way,
26:46 but he did it right.
26:46 Same thing, vice versa.
26:48 The question on the floor is, can we talk?
26:52 Can we communicate?
26:54 I'll throw this at you,
26:56 because we're gonna talk way more than we have sex.
27:00 Yeah, we're gonna communicate way more than we kiss.
27:04 We are.
27:05 Yeah, I'm married.
27:07 It's constant talking and communicating and laughing.
27:11 And then the sex is just the icing on the top
27:15 because everything else is flowing.
27:16 We're praying in the Holy Ghost together.
27:19 We honor God together.
27:21 But yes, mentally and emotionally, we flow together.
27:26 I'm gonna stop.
27:29 How long I been up guys?
27:30 How long I been up?
27:31 - You have been up 27 minutes.
27:32 - Really?
27:33 Funny how time flies when you're having fun.
27:36 I'm gonna put a bow on it, wrap it up.
27:39 I'm gonna keep teaching on this, can we talk?
27:42 I haven't even gotten to communicating with your children.
27:46 I haven't even gotten to really digging deep
27:50 in communicating with others, friends, employees.
27:54 This is gonna be off the chain.
27:56 Would you share this with somebody?
27:57 Would you make a couple of phone calls right now
27:59 and say, girl, he keeping it raw and real.
28:02 There's some marriages that are in trouble
28:04 because of a lack of communication.
28:07 There's somebody getting ready to say I do
28:11 to somebody you shouldn't.
28:13 They just not quick enough for you.
28:14 Watch this, you'll love this.
28:16 Or they talk too much and you rather be quiet.
28:20 You're introverted.
28:22 And no matter how much you try,
28:24 you can't make an introverted person talk too much.
28:28 No matter how much you try,
28:30 you can't make somebody who's extroverted shut up.
28:34 So you need to make sure that you make the right decision
28:37 regarding who you say I do to.
28:40 Those of you who are married, this is the teaching.
28:43 We're gonna do some more with how to do it in marriage.
28:46 What has worked for us, where I've jacked up,
28:49 where I've messed up.
28:51 Yeah, what got us in trouble for a season
28:53 because I didn't understand it.
28:54 This teaching on Can We Talk is gonna bless your life.
28:57 I'm coming back next week.
28:58 Let's keep doing it.
28:59 I love you, I love you.
29:00 Whenever we come back, I know first Wednesday,
29:03 we stop, we do live Bible study.
29:05 By the way, shameless plug, every first Wednesday
29:07 at the word, there is no Bible cast
29:10 because 12 noon and 7 p.m. we're live
29:13 from the Junior Sanctuary.
29:16 And so the other three Wednesdays,
29:18 you can jump on right here.
29:20 Tell everybody I'm coming to a city near them.
29:23 Yeah, the one night stand for singles
29:26 and married couples can come too.
29:28 It's the one night stand
29:30 because when you wake up in the morning, I'll be gone.
29:33 I'm bringing my new book, "The 10 Rules of Dating."
29:37 The rules have changed.
29:38 That's the name of it.
29:39 "10 Rules of Dating."
29:41 The rules have changed.
29:43 Let's get it, field drop it.
29:44 Somebody give tonight and say,
29:47 "This teaching is blessing my life."
29:49 I cannot believe how many of you are mailing in gifts.
29:53 I didn't think, I thought maybe just some wonderful
29:55 grandmother in Louisiana would mail something.
29:57 Young people are still mailing gifts.
29:59 The easiest way of course is to give online.
30:02 But if you feel led to send an envelope, send a check,
30:04 help us, the Vernon Foundation,
30:07 make the check payable to RA Vernon Ministries.
30:09 But we also have the Vernon Foundation now,
30:12 the Vernon Family Foundation.
30:14 My girl is killing the game,
30:16 doing so much philanthropy in this city.
30:18 Oh, I love my girl.
30:21 And I love what she's doing
30:23 in terms of leading the Vernon Foundation,
30:25 connecting with people, partnerships, the Word Church.
30:28 I just love all that God is doing.
30:31 If you feel like this time with us,
30:34 if you're a part of Vernon's Village, I kind of call it,
30:37 Vernon's Village, you're part of the village,
30:39 type that in the comments.
30:40 I'm in the village, Pastor.
30:42 Dr. Vernon, I'm in the village.
30:43 If I'm your pastor, Pastor Vernon, I'm in the village.
30:45 Pastor, I'm in the village.
30:47 I want to use this Bible cast
30:49 to give you some raw and relevant teaching.
30:52 Watch this.
30:52 And some of it is not in the Bible.
30:56 Bible is not a document written to give you the practicality
31:00 of everyday life in every area.
31:03 It gives you the general understanding of life,
31:06 but you need somebody with experience.
31:08 You need the Holy Spirit.
31:10 You need practicality to succeed in communication,
31:14 marriage, singleness, being a good boss.
31:16 I love it.
31:17 Are you giving now?
31:18 Would you type in the comments, I'm giving.
31:19 Those who are watching it later,
31:21 it still comes to the same bank account,
31:23 so we don't have to be live for you to give.
31:26 I want to say this to you, and I don't say this every week.
31:28 I really want people to be grown
31:30 in this next season of my pastor.
31:32 I'm teaching people, particularly Christians.
31:34 If something blesses Victory Rose Vernon and myself,
31:38 we give money to it.
31:40 Yeah, you give me five minutes of advice
31:42 that changes the word church, I'm sending you a check.
31:46 That's why I'm successful.
31:47 If a waitress serves us, she getting a life-changing tip
31:51 at the level we can give.
31:52 You have to give it your level.
31:53 At the level we can give, we giving her a life-changing tip.
31:56 Somebody gives me advice that changes my life
31:59 or this ministry, they getting a check.
32:01 I want you to learn to sow and make exchanges
32:04 with what blesses you.
32:06 If something blesses you, not just me,
32:07 anybody you watch and you think, "That blessed me,"
32:10 make an exchange and give toward that.
32:12 If this Bible cast is blessing you every Wednesday,
32:17 partner with R.A. Vernon Ministries.
32:19 It's right there on the screen.
32:21 Text your gift to that number, mail it.
32:24 I promise you, we gonna keep killing the game
32:28 for the kingdom.
32:29 I love it!
32:31 I'm out of here.
32:32 Father, bless our wonderful Bible cast audience.
32:36 Somebody struggling in the area of communication.
32:39 Them and their spouse are going through.
32:41 They needed this teaching.
32:42 I pray they'll sit down with their spouse and watch it.
32:44 Some single person just got a revelation
32:47 that they're moving too fast.
32:49 Somebody's dating somebody who's just not quick enough
32:52 to be their spouse, plain and simple.
32:54 They have to make the hard choice to say, "You're cute,
32:57 but you're just not quick enough,"
32:59 and walk away with dignity and integrity.
33:02 Bless this Bible cast.
33:04 Thank you for my guys, Phil and Denzel,
33:07 my team, Ray, LaShanae, everybody,
33:09 Marco and Sound, who makes this a reality.
33:12 Bless their lives because of what we're doing together.
33:16 Bless them all, God.
33:17 Bless our audience!
33:18 And keep us all covered in your blood.
33:21 In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
33:24 Love you.
33:25 See you next time.
33:26 [BLANK_AUDIO]