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FunTranscript
00:00 [music]
00:23 Uh-huh. All right, Simon. I'll tell them. Goodbye.
00:29 What did you hang?
00:33 Your rich cousin, Simon.
00:34 Simon? Where is he?
00:36 In Hatherville. The darling of the family is in between trains for an hour, so he's coming out by cab from the station.
00:42 Oh, my. So I better take myself off and straighten up the house and change myself.
00:47 Molly, for Simon, don't bother. You're going to impress a rich man with a split level.
00:51 David, please. I've got to make myself presentable.
00:54 Well, I am getting ready to leave. My train is going within the next 45 minutes.
00:59 David, darling, maybe you'll take a later train and spend a few hours with Simon.
01:03 Sorry, Molly, dear. My Sally the doctor, my grandchildren are more important to me than cousin Simon.
01:08 Did Simon say why he's coming?
01:10 Oh, to me, not. But I'm sure if he's coming, it's something for you to do for him and not vice versa.
01:16 David, is that something to say?
01:18 I said it and I mean it and I'll say it again.
01:21 If Simon is coming, it's something for you to do for him.
01:24 Coming. One minute. Goodbye, Molly, dear.
01:30 Goodbye, David. And give my love to the children.
01:32 I will.
01:33 And kiss everybody. Have a wonderful time.
01:35 I will.
01:36 And David, don't eat sandwiches on the train.
01:37 I won't.
01:38 Bye.
01:39 Simon?
01:44 Well, all I have to say is if your cousin Simon is coming, it's something for him, not for you.
01:49 You don't have to say your cousin Simon. You can say cousin Simon.
01:53 He happens to be your cousin Simon by marriage also.
01:56 Which delights me no end.
01:58 Thank you.
01:59 Rosalie?
02:00 Yes, Ma?
02:01 Oh, you're standing yet with your hair on your head?
02:04 Cousin Simon will be here any minute.
02:06 If cousin Simon is coming, Ma, it's something for him, not for you.
02:13 Very nice. Daughter like father, exactly.
02:16 Rosalie, this minute I demand silence and go upstairs and come down because he'll be here immediately.
02:21 All right, Ma.
02:23 Simon is here.
02:25 Jake, you're reading?
02:28 Whose cousin is it?
02:29 Jake, now is not the time to discuss, but remember.
02:32 Well, hello, Molly. How are you?
02:36 Hello, Simon.
02:37 And how are you, Jake?
02:38 Hello, Simon. How are you?
02:39 Glad to see you.
02:40 Give me a hat and coat.
02:41 Certainly.
02:42 Good to see you, Simon.
02:43 Well, it's good to see you.
02:45 How is everybody?
02:46 Fine, fine.
02:47 And the old man?
02:48 Yes, everybody is fine, sure.
02:50 Well.
02:52 Well, well.
02:54 Nice.
02:56 Very, very nice.
02:58 We're coming up in the world, eh, Jake?
03:00 It's a far cry from your Bronx apartment.
03:03 It's modest, but we call it home.
03:05 Hello, cousin Simon.
03:07 Oh, hello, Rosalie. How are you?
03:10 Say, Haverville is certainly making you bloom.
03:13 Thank you.
03:14 Where's Sammy and Uncle David?
03:15 Sammy lives at the dorms now in college,
03:18 and Uncle David went for a few weeks to his Sally the doctor.
03:21 Rosalie, bring in a little snick snack, huh?
03:24 Oh, I almost forgot.
03:26 Here's a housewarming gift for you, Molly.
03:28 Oh, Simon, you shouldn't.
03:30 I picked it up at the railroad station.
03:32 I don't like to come to a new house empty-handed.
03:35 Thank you. Sit down, Simon.
03:37 Thank you.
03:39 A very nice present, Simon.
03:41 It's nothing.
03:42 Molly, I have a real housewarming gift for you.
03:47 Oh, Simon, you shouldn't.
03:49 The candy was enough.
03:51 Oh, no. This is something special.
03:53 Yes.
03:54 You know, this Park Avenue apartment house I live in
03:56 is going to be torn down for an office building.
03:58 But my new apartment is not going to be ready for four weeks.
04:01 So I'm going to Europe.
04:02 The continent.
04:03 Yes.
04:04 So?
04:05 So, what am I going to do with my help?
04:08 I've got a couple working for me.
04:10 Francoise and Mignon.
04:12 He's a chauffeur butler, and she's a cook.
04:15 Jewels.
04:16 Absolutely jewels.
04:18 I've never had help like that before.
04:20 What are you getting at, Simon?
04:22 At this, Jake.
04:24 I'm not going to be able to use them for four weeks.
04:26 I'm going to be in Europe.
04:28 Now, if I don't pay them,
04:29 they'll find another job, and I'll lose them.
04:31 So, I thought as long as I'm paying them,
04:34 I might as well send them up here and let them work for you.
04:37 I'll pay their salaries.
04:38 They can drive up in my car.
04:40 And for four weeks, you have a chauffeur, a cook, and a limousine.
04:44 Oh, my.
04:46 I'm telling you, folks,
04:48 you will really learn what it is to really live.
04:52 This is my housewarming gift to you, Molly.
04:56 You mean it, Simon?
04:57 If not for you, Jake, for who?
05:00 Favorite members of my family?
05:02 Simon, I'm beside myself.
05:05 Don't be beside yourself, Molly.
05:07 Just say you accept.
05:09 Simon, a butler, and a maid, and a limousine.
05:14 [laughing]
05:16 Jake.
05:17 We accept, Simon, with many thanks.
05:19 You will have the time of your life.
05:22 [chatter]
05:24 [music playing]
05:26 Ma, I can't find any single sheets for your twin bed.
05:30 I don't think you will find.
05:32 I have double sheets for Uncle David's bed, Ma.
05:35 You don't have to change all the linen, do you?
05:37 Only the bed in Uncle David's room, I thought,
05:39 if that's where they're going to sleep.
05:41 I want all the beds changed.
05:43 Ma, why all the general cleaning?
05:46 I thought that's what the servants were for.
05:49 Rosalie, please, I don't want them to be embarrassed when they help walk in.
05:52 Upstairs in the linen closet, you'll find all the linens you want.
05:55 Will you see if you can look, please?
05:59 Good morning.
06:00 Good morning.
06:01 Good morning, Papa darling.
06:02 Where's Mama?
06:03 In the kitchen.
06:05 Molly, I-- Molly, this moment, up from that floor.
06:09 Jake, please, let me do it my way.
06:11 For four weeks, I'll be a lady of leisure.
06:13 But do you have to kill yourself first so you won't enjoy your leisure?
06:16 Jake, please.
06:17 What is this revolution you're stirring up?
06:19 What is it?
06:20 You think we were entertaining the Duke and Duchess of Marlborough Castle?
06:23 Please, the help are coming, and I want my house parked.
06:26 What time are they coming?
06:28 They'll come time today.
06:30 Well, if they come in time, Molly, send the chauffeur down to pick me up and drive me home tonight.
06:35 Goodbye, Molly darling.
06:36 Goodbye, dear.
06:38 Bye.
06:39 Bye.
06:42 Come in, whoever.
06:43 Walk very lightly on my floor, please, whoever.
06:50 Are you the lady of the house?
06:52 Oh, yes.
06:55 Excuse my appearance.
06:58 Rosalie?
06:59 I am Francois Gravet, and this is my wife, Mignon.
07:03 We were sent in by Mr. Simon.
07:05 Oh, yes, I know.
07:06 Yes, ma'am.
07:07 Ma, this is the daughter of the house.
07:09 Mademoiselle.
07:10 Rosalie, take the folks up to the east wing.
07:19 What do you mean, wing?
07:21 Do you mean Uncle David's room?
07:22 Yes, yes.
07:41 [speaking french]
07:47 Are they wrong, not right?
07:49 It's a three-quarter bed, ma.
07:51 When we work, madame, we need our rest.
07:54 Of course.
07:55 We are used to sleeping each in a bed.
07:57 Surely.
07:58 Rosalie, take the folks up to the west wing.
08:04 Where's the west wing?
08:06 Our room.
08:07 Where are you and Papa going to sleep?
08:09 In Uncle David's room.
08:10 So go.
08:11 All right.
08:15 David.
08:16 David.
08:18 The baby has the whooping cough, and my son
08:21 is taking the family to Atlantic City,
08:23 and I don't like the seashore.
08:27 Uncle David, you're back.
08:29 Yes, Rosalie, I'm back.
08:31 Ma, now what are we going to do?
08:33 Where are you going to sleep?
08:36 We'll sleep on the convertibles.
08:38 Why can't they sleep on the convertibles?
08:41 Guests sleep on the convertibles.
08:44 Not in my house.
08:47 So you see how we divide our duties, Mignon and I.
08:50 And that is the manner in which we will take care of the house,
08:53 with madame's approval, of course.
08:55 Wonderful.
08:56 Bon, merci.
08:57 Now, we have been making an inventory
08:58 and there are a great many essentials that madame
09:00 has undoubtedly forgotten to order.
09:02 Oh, I'm sorry.
09:03 Excuse me.
09:04 Pas de quoi.
09:05 Mignon, s'il vous plaît.
09:06 We need de la mayonnaise, du laurier, de la moutarde,
09:09 du thym, du persil, des échalotes, de l'ail, des capres,
09:12 des oignons rouges et des petits oignons blancs,
09:14 des anchois, des sardines, du pâté de foie gras,
09:17 des truffles, du poivre en grain, de l'huile d'olive,
09:19 du vinaigre et de la pâte d'anchois.
09:21 That's all?
09:22 Oh, I suppose this will be sufficient to begin.
09:25 Then I will take care of that.
09:27 Oui, madame?
09:28 Now, for tonight's dinner,
09:29 would madame care to glance at the menu?
09:31 Oh, yes.
09:34 [music]
09:44 Oui.
09:45 Merci, madame.
09:47 At what time would madame care to dine?
09:49 Well, usually--
09:50 Mignon, dinner will be at eight, of course.
09:53 N'est-ce pas, madame?
09:55 N'est-ce.
09:57 Now, has madame any preferences in wine?
10:00 Although I don't know what vintages are available in Haverville.
10:04 Well, your preference goes very well.
10:07 Merci, madame. A votre service.
10:09 Now, if madame would be so kind as to call the butcher,
10:11 the grocer, and the wine merchant
10:13 to authorize the necessary purchases.
10:15 Yes.
10:16 Merci, madame.
10:17 Merci, madame.
10:19 [music]
10:23 Oui.
10:25 [music]
10:34 [clears throat]
10:35 New style?
10:36 Why not?
10:37 Very nice.
10:39 Why don't you change, David?
10:41 Not me.
10:42 An old dog, he can't learn new tricks.
10:45 [chuckles]
10:46 [knocking]
10:47 Rosalie, you look lovely.
10:50 Very nice.
10:51 I love getting dressed for dinner.
10:53 It's like going out.
10:54 Uncle David, you have a cutaway.
10:56 Why don't you put it--
10:57 Not me.
10:58 If you don't want me to sit on the table,
11:00 I'll go next door to Lucy or Daisy.
11:02 Uncle David.
11:04 [music]
11:08 Molly.
11:09 Ma, Mr. Howard.
11:10 Molly, you look gorgeous.
11:12 My, oh my, oh my.
11:15 Molly, you too?
11:17 Well, Minion laid me out on the bed, so I put it off.
11:20 Ma, you look beautiful.
11:21 I do?
11:22 I never saw you look prettier, Molly darling.
11:24 The last time I wore this dress was at Freda's wedding.
11:27 At what time is dinner being served?
11:29 Dinner at 8.
11:31 Who wants to wait until 8 o'clock for dinner?
11:33 I'm hungry.
11:34 Shh.
11:35 [music]
11:38 Sit down.
11:40 You?
11:41 It's you.
11:42 My seat.
11:44 Thank you.
11:45 That was it?
11:46 Uh-uh.
11:47 [music]
11:50 What's this?
11:51 Don't ask.
11:52 Drink.
11:53 Well?
11:54 [music]
11:59 That's your medicine.
12:02 Thank you.
12:03 [music]
12:05 It's you.
12:06 My seat.
12:09 Thank you.
12:10 [music]
12:16 Wonderful.
12:17 Madam, dinner is served.
12:19 Thank you.
12:20 Come.
12:21 Everybody sit on the table.
12:22 OK.
12:23 I'm hungry already.
12:25 So come.
12:26 My dear.
12:27 [music]
12:33 Mian?
12:34 Mm-hmm.
12:35 What's the name, please?
12:36 Artichaut Vinagret.
12:38 [music]
12:57 Mm.
13:02 That's something to eat.
13:04 What is this soup called, Francois?
13:06 Potage Saint-Germain.
13:08 It is a specialty of Mignon.
13:09 [music]
13:16 Special.
13:17 [music]
13:26 Oh, Bob.
13:28 [laughs]
13:30 [music]
13:35 [speaking french]
13:41 The fragrance.
13:43 Beautiful aroma.
13:46 Merci, madame.
13:47 It is [speaking french]
13:53 I hope madame enjoys it.
13:55 Oh, mentally.
13:57 What's [speaking french]
14:00 I don't know.
14:01 [laughs]
14:07 Mm, delicious.
14:08 Merci, monsieur.
14:10 Mm, it has a beautiful--
14:13 Je ne sais quoi.
14:15 Exactly.
14:16 That is because it is cooked in fine wine, madame.
14:19 Au vin.
14:21 Well, my soup.
14:25 Brasile, you're only 17.
14:29 Not too much old man.
14:31 [laughs]
14:36 Tell me the truth, Molly.
14:37 Did you ever eat soup?
14:39 Never.
14:40 Never.
14:41 Never.
14:42 Je ne sais quoi.
14:43 [speaking french]
14:44 Quiet.
14:45 Where's the extinguisher?
14:46 Where is it?
14:47 [music]
14:52 [laughing]
14:55 Oh, mental.
14:57 [laughing]
14:59 I hope madame enjoys cerise flambée.
15:02 Oh, je ne sais quoi.
15:05 Je ne sais quoi.
15:08 [speaking french]
15:10 Oui, oui.
15:11 [laughing]
15:14 [speaking french]
15:16 [laughing]
15:19 [speaking french]
15:22 [laughing]
15:25 [speaking french]
15:28 [laughing]
15:31 [speaking french]
15:34 [laughing]
15:37 [music]
15:43 Bonjour, madame.
15:45 Bonjour.
15:46 Bonjour, monsieur.
15:48 Bonjour, Jake.
15:50 Bonjour.
15:51 In a moment.
15:52 Oui, madame.
15:53 Bonjour, madame, monsieur.
15:54 Sure.
15:56 Jake, hurry.
15:58 Hurry, Jake.
15:59 Oh.
16:00 [music]
16:13 Bon appétit, madame.
16:14 Bon appétit, monsieur.
16:15 Merci.
16:17 [music]
16:30 Madame.
16:31 Monsieur.
16:32 [laughing]
16:34 [music]
16:42 Will madame be using the car this afternoon?
16:44 Yes, I'll be going to the super.
16:47 The super?
16:48 And where is that place?
16:49 The supermarket.
16:50 Oh, madame, all your marketing has been taken care of for you.
16:53 Oh, then I'll let you know.
16:55 Merci, madame.
17:02 Molly, how much longer?
17:04 How much longer?
17:05 For two weeks now, vinaigrette à la flambée, cookies and jacks, oranges à la docks.
17:12 Molly, give me your noodle soup, your plain boiled chicken.
17:18 So what can I do, David?
17:20 You can't look a gift in the mouth?
17:22 Oh, David, leisure is only a pleasure in the dictionary.
17:26 So where would you like to go riding?
17:28 Not me.
17:30 I get seasick in that car.
17:32 I'll call Daisy.
17:34 Daisy's busy marketing.
17:36 Mrs. Peterson.
17:38 She's doing general cleaning.
17:39 Mrs. Clauston.
17:41 She's baking her leg in the clinic.
17:48 Has madame decided yet?
17:50 Prepare the limousine.
17:52 I'll be out presently.
17:56 So where will you ride, Molly?
17:59 Around.
18:00 Around where?
18:02 Around and around.
18:12 Come in.
18:17 Jake, I want to speak to you.
18:20 Can I wait till tomorrow, Harry?
18:21 I don't want to be late for dinner and the car is waiting.
18:23 Jake, I think you ought to know what's going on.
18:26 What happened?
18:27 What is it?
18:28 Do you want to give your stenographer a raise?
18:30 Are you in a financial position to increase your showroom staff?
18:33 Why are you asking me foolish questions?
18:35 You're the bookkeeper.
18:36 Of course not.
18:37 Then I suggest you stop coming to business in a limousine with a chauffeur.
18:40 Why?
18:41 Why, he asks.
18:43 Everybody thinks you came into a lot of money.
18:45 Harry, you know better.
18:47 Believe me, Jake, this is no laughing matter.
18:49 But, but, but...
18:53 Mrs. Temple, if you'll stop talking, you'll let me talk,
18:56 so maybe you'll hear what I have to say.
18:59 Molly couldn't talk to you because the help was present.
19:03 But today's the day off and she'll be able to talk to you freely.
19:07 Yes.
19:08 Oh, please, don't get mad and don't hang.
19:11 Oh, here is Molly.
19:12 She'll talk to you like a person.
19:14 Hello?
19:15 Hello?
19:16 Hello?
19:17 Oh, she hung.
19:19 Who?
19:20 Mrs. Temple.
19:21 She's mad.
19:22 Mad?
19:23 Can you imagine?
19:24 Everybody's mad.
19:25 Mrs. Temple, Mrs. Peterson, Mrs. Gary.
19:27 Millionaires we are all of a sudden.
19:29 That's the consensus of opinion of the whole community.
19:32 Something has to be done, David.
19:34 Francois and Mignon have to go.
19:36 And Simon's present?
19:37 I can't afford such presents, David.
19:39 What time is it?
19:40 They'll be back soon.
19:41 It's their day off.
19:42 Oh, but they come back for supper and then they go out again.
19:45 Filet Mignon they order for supper.
19:47 David, I don't know what I'm going to do with the bills.
19:49 I don't know how I'll pay the bills from the market.
19:51 Steaks and steaks and shops and pheasants
19:53 and truffles and schmuffles and caviar.
19:55 I told you.
19:57 And Mrs. Stillman said that she heard that you're building
19:59 a new 10-room house with three bathrooms.
20:01 Only three?
20:02 Mrs. Carey heard five.
20:05 Molly.
20:07 Molly, why did you let me do it?
20:09 Did you hear the latest rumor?
20:10 What?
20:11 We're building a mansion on top of Flower Hill.
20:13 And I heard we are building in the valley.
20:15 Here.
20:16 Here, look at these bills from the garage.
20:17 Gasoline, Simonizing, washing the car, oil.
20:20 And from the liquor store.
20:22 Champagnes, vintage wines, 20-year-old scotch,
20:25 50-year-old brandy, dramboui, cherry herring.
20:28 I'll be in debt for the next six months.
20:30 Your cousin Simon gave us some presents.
20:34 Ma.
20:36 Who told Joan's mother that we're buying the Judge Gray
20:39 estate, the one with the swimming pool?
20:41 Nope.
20:42 Not with the estate.
20:43 The grocer wants to know if you got your bill.
20:46 I did.
20:47 He said not to worry.
20:48 He's in no hurry.
20:49 He only wishes he had more customers like us.
20:51 I believe him.
20:52 Molly, this can't go on.
20:54 Bonsoir, madame.
20:56 We have just returned.
20:58 Excuse me, but I can't seem to find the fillets
21:00 I ordered for our dinner.
21:02 Oh, the fillets arrived, Francois.
21:04 You'll find them on the second shelf in back
21:06 of the Petit Defoe grouse.
21:08 Merci, madame.
21:10 Well, how many more weeks before your cousin Simon
21:13 returns and will be released of the rich man's burden?
21:15 Two weeks.
21:16 Two weeks?
21:17 Fine.
21:18 I'm calling Pincus Pines.
21:19 We're going there for two weeks.
21:20 Jake, please.
21:21 I'm not leaving the house.
21:22 We're only still in school.
21:23 Do you have a better idea?
21:25 Let me think and let me ponder.
21:27 Well, think and think fast, Molly.
21:28 This is beyond the poor man's pocket.
21:30 [doorbell]
21:32 Harry.
21:35 Evening.
21:37 Well, Jake, we lost our cutter.
21:40 What do you mean?
21:41 Just what I said.
21:42 He gave me an ultimatum, a raise or else.
21:44 But didn't you explain that the limousine and chauffeur
21:46 belonged to my cousin Simon?
21:48 Uh-huh.
21:49 I'm afraid you wouldn't believe me.
21:50 Well, how is that possible?
21:51 The man knows what's coming into the shop.
21:53 I'll tell you something else, Jake.
21:55 I'd like a raise, too.
21:56 But Harry, you know our financial status.
21:58 How can I afford to give you or anybody a raise?
22:01 How can you afford to build a 15-room house
22:03 in the country club section?
22:04 I'm building--
22:05 I got it on very good authority, Jake.
22:08 Harry!
22:09 All right, Jake.
22:11 Maybe my wife's theory is not so wrong.
22:14 What theory?
22:16 You can know a man your whole life and not know him.
22:19 Now stop before you say another word, Harry.
22:21 I'd better stop before I say more than I should.
22:23 Good night.
22:24 Good night.
22:25 Good night.
22:28 Can you imagine?
22:30 My honesty is in question.
22:33 Call in Francois.
22:34 Wait, Jake.
22:35 Don't call.
22:36 I think I have a better idea.
22:38 Hey, Donald said you wanted to go to the museum.
22:45 Oh, yes.
22:46 [speaking french]
22:47 Excuse me.
22:48 Oh, please.
22:50 Do you have everything you want?
22:52 Oh, yes.
22:53 Merci, merci beaucoup.
22:54 Drawing, have you been there?
22:56 Mm-hmm.
22:57 Very much.
22:58 Oh, goodness.
22:59 Not looking so well.
23:00 Maybe you want to have a little circle, sir?
23:02 I feel fine.
23:03 Yes?
23:04 Mm-hmm.
23:05 Well, maybe our present climate in this continent
23:08 don't agree with you.
23:10 Oh, we are-- we are fine.
23:12 Yeah.
23:13 Mm-hmm.
23:14 Would you like to go to Switzerland?
23:16 Oh, of course.
23:17 Yeah.
23:18 Well, we also have mountains in the United States,
23:21 just like Switzerland.
23:23 They have lakes and rowboats and trees.
23:26 And if you'd care to go, Mr. Goldberg would only
23:29 be too glad if you went on a two-week vacation.
23:32 [speaking french]
23:33 [speaking french]
23:34 [speaking french]
23:35 [speaking french]
23:36 [speaking french]
23:37 [speaking french]
23:38 [speaking french]
23:39 Oh, my gosh.
23:40 Oh, of course.
23:41 [speaking french]
23:42 Thank you very much, madame.
23:43 [speaking french]
23:44 Oh, very well.
23:45 [speaking french]
23:46 [speaking french]
23:47 Thank you.
23:48 [speaking french]
23:49 [speaking french]
23:50 All right, operator.
23:51 I'm holding.
23:52 Who are you calling?
23:53 We're going to Pincus Pines for two weeks.
23:55 Jake, please.
23:56 Hello, Pincus?
23:57 May I please, if you will, kindly thank you?
24:00 Hello?
24:01 Hello, Pincus?
24:02 This is Mrs. Goldberg.
24:04 Yeah, the old belle.
24:06 Listen, I want to make a reservation under the name
24:09 of Mr. and Mrs. Brevet.
24:12 I'll hold.
24:13 Brevet?
24:14 They're having the vacation.
24:17 Yes, Pincus?
24:20 What do you mean-- what do you mean you're all filled up?
24:24 Not even one room?
24:26 So what do you have available?
24:29 Oh, my gracious.
24:32 Only the bridal suite.
24:33 Molly, who can afford it?
24:35 Well, just a minute, Pincus.
24:37 Hold, please.
24:38 Just a minute.
24:39 Can you afford-- can you afford steaks?
24:41 And chops and pheasants and pheasants?
24:43 And-- and-- and-- and-- and-- and flambés
24:45 and cherished jubilees and-- and vintages and wines?
24:48 And Pincus?
24:49 And champagne?
24:50 Pincus, reserve the bridal suite.
24:53 [music playing]
24:57 [theme music]
25:00 [music playing]
25:03 [music playing]
25:06 [music playing]
25:09 [music playing]
25:12 [music playing]
25:15 [music playing]
25:18 [music playing]
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