According to a man at the turkey place, Preston doesn't need to brine his turkey and likes when his wife wears a strap-on.
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00:01Hey Press, you said you might be able to find time to brine your bird?
00:06I am, yes. I am going to brine the bird.
00:08Actually, we went and picked up my bird yesterday.
00:11My wife had pre-ordered it, and the place that I went to, they had people directing traffic.
00:17Really?
00:18It was so busy, people picking up their fresh birds.
00:21Wow.
00:22I had asked while I was there, I said, hey, do you guys have any brine kits?
00:27You know, the bag and everything, and the gal goes, she's like, actually, we recommend against brining so we don't have.
00:32And an old guy standing in front of me turned around and goes, you don't need to brine that turkey.
00:37And I was like, excuse me?
00:40Shut up, old man.
00:42You want to know why? Because I'm your real father.
00:46I've been looking for you for years, Preston. I have a story to tell.
00:51I went a little bit on the defensive end.
00:53Of course. Mind your own business.
00:56You old fool.
00:57I was like, dude, I like brining.
00:59I'm like, I've done it a bunch of different ways.
01:00I've cooked them, you know, covering the bird in bacon.
01:02Oh, yeah, you like when your wife wears a strap-on, too.
01:05Wow.
01:06She's had all the stuff you like in your kinky little hellhole.
01:09You like your, oh, I like my turkey brine.
01:11I like my wife wearing strap-ons.
01:13Oh, I like all these things.
01:14You like figging, too?
01:16Wow.
01:17You know about figging?
01:18I know about figging.
01:19I invented it.
01:20I got the patent right here in my wallet.
01:22It's right next to my butterscotch candy.
01:25But he said it kind of snotty to me.
01:27Yeah.
01:28You don't need to brine that turkey.
01:29I'm like, I'll do what I want to.
01:32Take your meds and shut up.
01:33With the damn thing.
01:34Yeah.
01:35Shouldn't you be dead?
01:36In hindsight, later on, I was like, did I even need to get defensive with this guy?
01:41It was stupid.
01:42But I should have just got him.
01:43You should have pantsed him.
01:44Right.
01:45I was like, I didn't invite you into the conversation.
02:01Oh.
02:02Oh.
02:03Yeah.
02:04Bolton's is the name of it.
02:05Somebody texted him.
02:06113 in Silverdale.
02:07Yep.
02:08That's it.
02:09And this person lives across the street, they said.
02:10Well, I'm sorry I missed you.
02:11Go ask the old man about Brian Turkeys.
02:13So, anyway.
02:14But, yeah.
02:15I'm going to do it.
02:16Yep.
02:17I'm sorry, but did you engage the guy in conversation, or?
02:19No.
02:20I just said, look.
02:21I go, I've cooked it a bunch of different ways.
02:22I've cooked them, you know, wrapping in bacon, flipping it upside down, stuffed, not stuffed,
02:26and I like Brian, so.
02:27I'll get the hell away.
02:28Enjoy your dildo.
02:29Yeah.