It's Trucker Thursday on Dave and Chuck the Freak. The show asks all the truck drivers listening to share their craziest story from being out on the road.
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00:00all right it's now trucker thursday here on dave and chuck the freak let's go to z hall
00:11how you doing oh how's she going how's she going so as a trucker what's one of the craziest stories
00:19that you can share so i actually texted the story in a couple years ago and it made the peep show
00:25but it is a true story so uh i deliver all kinds of stuff to nursing homes i'm delivering to the
00:30back of the nursing home and this guy was backing out kind of crazy so i honked the truck horn at him
00:36and uh he still hit me a little bit but uh long story short he ended up having a heart attack and
00:42dying right there your truck horn killed him it killed him it gave him a heart attack oh and uh
00:51yeah his heart gave out on him and i had to stick around and yeah that was it for him oh man you're
00:56a killer yeah this is we probably i don't remember the peep show but i'll say this i guarantee that we
01:03would have said dave almost killed our whole uh you know i thought the same thing yeah yeah
01:09it's guaranteed what it was said because that's where i wanted that's what i want to say
01:13yeah thanks man thanks it's deadly it can be deadly they're so loud right yes they're so loud
01:26and an old guy backing out at a nursing home wasn't expecting that can handle it no the only thing
01:31louder are those train horns that every once in a while people install it's crazy to think your heart
01:37is hanging by such a thin thread yeah that a loud noise can just kill you that's how i feel
01:43that's how i feel i'm walking on pins and needles over here
01:48yeah that is insane oh that poor guy do you have he didn't sound like he was that guilty
01:56i mean okay i mean he keeps calling and telling us the story yeah he's not afraid of it he's not
02:02afraid of it you're right how bad he feels about it no i feel bad wouldn't you feel bad i would feel
02:08bad if if i just honked a horn i could just honk my whole life being like i've killed a man yeah
02:16what did you do i honked a horn at him and he died i hear you're a killer i am i get like a teardrop
02:24me too i once had to kill 17 men in a in a large room with my bare hands mine was a bit different i
02:33just honked a horn at a man and his heart gave way what but i've killed him i also have killed a
02:39man i call in a lot this guy says i uh pull into a purdue plant drop my empty trailer go park
02:47sit right next to a little pond um about three in the morning i hear
02:53tapping on the passenger side door okay i get up jump up look at the window expecting to see someone
03:01no one there i think oh god i must have been hearing things go lay back down soon as my head
03:08hits the pillow except now it's on the driver's side yep same thing as before i jump up look out
03:17the window nothing's there double lock my doors because i have no idea what's going on at this
03:23point after about 15 minutes along the driver's side of the truck i hear splat splat what the hell
03:32i slowly get up terrified look out the window then there's a thud from the roof of the cab nope
03:41i stop they're here grab a tire iron ready myself for whatever the hell is going on aliens a mother
03:50effing goose falls off the top of the truck and lands on my hood stupid goose it stands up waddles
03:56back and forth looks at me we make eye contact it takes the hell off the pond i parked you i guess
04:03had a ton of them just dicking around yeah but i didn't see that in the middle of the night that makes
04:07some sense yeah it's like they're like what the f is this thing hitting it with its beak
04:13get out of here i just i went and had a nice conversation with that thing
04:18we'll never see it again yeah i thought it was a lot lizard ghost coming oh my god yeah it's a
04:24great horror movie i'll blow you oh that's terrifying i'll do it for free
04:30it just comes through the top uh someone said my trucker husband has had so many pervs
04:39look over the bathroom stall at the truck stop on him once some dirty bastard looked over the top
04:46and my husband pulled out a knife and threatened that he was going to cut his dick off guy ran out
04:51quick as hell with my husband chasing him damn yeah i mean uh it's crazy you gotta have a knife ready
04:59when you're pooping that's all you guys don't do yeah he's just like ready i almost stabbed dave
05:05it was lucky it was you dave it was not lucky it was me he would have had a knife during that
05:15situation oh my god that would have been crazy jumped up oh i'm stabbed i stabbed dave
05:22so confusing a pantsless chuck just stabbed me caught me with my toilet knife yeah i nakedly
05:28stabbed dave nakedly oh that'd make a horrible day even worse oh yeah driving through an abandoned
05:37section of baltimore at three in the morning my cb radio turned itself on and crackled for a bit
05:44out of nowhere some voice in a deep southern drawl said i ain't got no panties on oh no
05:54no i could see up and down the interstate for miles not one other set of headlights
05:59was the creepiest moment i've ever had well haven't we heard that there are
06:05like some of these lot lizards that will have cb radio i think they get on cb radio yeah and they'll
06:12be like this is my like from their home or whatever and they say like this is where i'm at
06:16and then they're just trying to so they're just constantly piping out that they don't have panties
06:23on and they're hoping that one of these dudes that'll take anything 10-4 what's your 20 10-4 what's
06:29your 20 that's it i think it really happens and bill that panties thing you say is some sort of code
06:36yeah it's gay drivers looking for other gay drivers that's what they say when you hear that on the radio
06:44i don't have panties on they wanting other dudes that's what that is thank you for that code yeah now i
06:52know what to say on my cb i ain't got no 20 years and that's really and how did you find that out
07:01well you make a mistake uh got told when i started driving over 20 years ago okay yeah so that's like
07:08one of the things like like when you go to the truck driver training school they're like all right
07:12every once in a while check this out someone's gonna say i have no panties on what's it mean
07:21that means uh that means that it's a it's a gay but gay trucker that wants to have sex with me
07:27that's right you got it
07:29gay truckers sweet good job he did it you got he's so good that's why he's gonna make thousands of
07:38dollars that's right well that probably has misled some fellas through the years uh yeah yeah and then
07:47i think that some of these guys are just like oh no panties there's no panties mouth is a mouth
07:54tom's in tennessee we're talking about your uh story for trucker thursday what is it tom
07:59yeah hi uh yeah i pull into a vince lombardi rest area in new jersey notorious prostitutes
08:06and uh waiting for some of my trucks and a prostitute walks up to me which is an undercover cop
08:10so he goes hey baby you want a good time i'm like no thank you officer she's like i'm not a cop i'm
08:15like you most definitely are a cop how can you tell i said sensible shoes french nails and a dental
08:20program yeah that's the best thing i've ever heard
08:29sensible shoes fresh nails and a dental program
08:36and a dental program yeah because i had perfect teeth i'm like yeah truck stop or uh yeah
08:42not today yeah not today
08:45yeah that's yeah he's right that was one of my better ones
08:50yeah that's great tom thanks dude thanks for coming
08:53french nails and a dental plan oh my god
08:58oh yeah that would never you'd never see any of that on a lot lizard no my goodness she should
09:05have dressed the part yeah she messed up what are they gonna do knock three of her teeth out
09:09yeah i don't know what you do about the teeth when your teeth are great there's nothing you can do
09:13oh yeah those like it looks like a halloween costume right like those aren't real