Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about the time a co-worker claimed to be making them homemade sugar cookies and found out they were actually bought at a store.
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00:00Someone poured through the Google data to see which Christmas cookies are exceptionally popular in each date,
00:10and I gotta say that I don't know what's going on here.
00:13There's a lot of real healthy cookies topping the list.
00:20I don't like to see it.
00:21What's wrong with the world?
00:23Healthy cookies, what's that?
00:25It's an agenda. There's an agenda. My healthy cookie.
00:28The most popular Christmas cookie in four states, Maine, Minnesota, Montana, and Wisconsin, gluten-free Christmas cookies.
00:37Get out of here.
00:39Wisconsin, gluten-free?
00:41Yeah, right.
00:42That's how you know.
00:44Like the home of gluten. That's where gluten originated.
00:47I think I know where the scientists came from.
00:49There's some regular stuff on here.
00:51I don't know. Maybe you guys know what this is.
00:52In six states, this was number one, Christmas cookie fudge.
00:55I like the sounds of it.
00:58Is it like a sugar cookie kind of fudge?
01:00I know, but I'm worried about it.
01:01Alabama, Indiana, Kentucky, Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Tennessee.
01:05Big people love it, so it's gotta be good.
01:07Oh, yeah.
01:08Well, it's...
01:09Christmas cookie.
01:11It's like the most alternative cookie list I've ever heard.
01:13The pictures are delicious.
01:14Oh, my God.
01:15Oh, yes.
01:16So it's like a big chunk.
01:18Oh, look, it looks like half cookie, half fudge.
01:21Yeah.
01:23Yes.
01:23I thought it was just fudge that had like a cookie look.
01:25Well, I think it is just fudge, Chuck.
01:27Oh, okay.
01:27I think if you look closer, it's just fudge, but it has like a little icing on top.
01:30I thought like it looked like...
01:31So it's sugar cookie...
01:33Sugar?
01:33Whatever.
01:34Sugar cookie flavored fudge with like a little frosting and sprinkles on top.
01:38Oh, that looks fine.
01:40I'm in.
01:40Could be my new favorite cookie.
01:41I know, right?
01:42By the way, I love anyone who tuned in right in time to hear Dave say, oh, my, oh, yes,
01:46give it to me.
01:49That's how I feel about sugar cookies.
01:51Oh, yeah, that's true.
01:52That's true.
01:53He gets very sexual.
01:53I do, because I haven't had a good one this year.
01:56Oh, not yet.
01:57I am always on a quest for one delicious, like something you'd read about in a book.
02:02Right.
02:03It's that good.
02:04Yeah.
02:04Like Martha Stewart made it.
02:06Perfectly cooked sugar cookie with the perfect frosting and right amount of sprinkles.
02:10I've yet to find it.
02:11I don't find that a good cookie, really.
02:13Thanks, Lisa.
02:14It's my Christmas cookie quest.
02:16It's the right amount of sprinkles.
02:18That's all you need in life.
02:19He counts the sprinkles, you know.
02:21He does.
02:22He's like, oh, God.
02:24I don't know.
02:24There's five cookies here.
02:27That one looks good.
02:28Let me count it.
02:29One, two, three, five, four, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five,
02:33and ten.
02:33That's 50.
02:34I'm not a Christmas cookie snob.
02:36Like, you know, there's a chick we worked with years ago who lied to us.
02:40Yeah, I would lie.
02:40And claimed she made these cookies, and they were great.
02:42They were great.
02:43Oh, my goodness.
02:44They were like-
02:44She lied?
02:45She totally lied.
02:46Yeah, she lied every time.
02:47So she claimed she made them from scratch, and it turns out it was Gordon Food Services
02:52pre-shaped Christmas cookie molds that you just throw in the oven.
02:56How did you find out?
02:57Um, I saw them.
02:59Yeah.
02:59I saw them at Gordon Food Services.
03:01I'm like, oh, it's a scam.
03:03I told him.
03:04I'm like, Chuck, it's a scam.
03:05He legitimately, you know, like, it takes a lot for Dave to call me.
03:09Like, it does.
03:10It takes a lot.
03:11Like, something.
03:11I called him from Gordon Food Services.
03:14I am standing.
03:14Generally, it's like a bit, you know.
03:16You're shocked, Chuck.
03:17It's all a lie.
03:18Christmas is a lie.
03:19No, listen.
03:20Generally, it's like, hey, Chuck, just to let you know, I quit for us today.
03:24I'm like, oh, okay, all right, all right, that's cool.
03:28Give me a call later.
03:28I'll see you tomorrow.
03:30This was on that level.
03:32Chuck, you're not going to believe this.
03:36I'm in Gordon Food Services right now, and I just saw those cookies.
03:40What?
03:41Yes, I just saw the cookies.
03:42No.
03:43I did.
03:44It's a lie.
03:45It's always been a lie.
03:46She never made them.
03:47She never made them.
03:48I just bought five dozen of them.
03:50I did, so what did I do?
03:51What did you do?
03:51I bought them with the icing that was right beside it, which is what she bought, and I
03:56made them.
03:57Did you bring them in?
03:58And I brought them in.
03:59Yeah.
04:00What was the reaction?
04:00And she apologized.
04:01She was like, yeah, because it was busted.
04:04She had, yeah.
04:05Oh, my God.
04:06It's a shame.
04:07It was a shame.
04:08It was high levels of shame.
04:10I paid her to make some for my parents.
04:13You paid her?
04:14I paid her.
04:15I'm like, I'll give you the money for the ingredients.
04:17My parents would love your homemade cookies so much.
04:20That's the, uh-huh.
04:21Did you, did she give you the money?
04:23No, that's not.
04:24That was the Christmas before.
04:26Oh, my God.
04:27Who does that?
04:28Oh, my God.
04:28That's the best.
04:30Oh, my God.
04:31Oh.
04:31I guess she got caught in the lie.
04:33She couldn't keep, she couldn't stop it.
04:34Oh, it was.
04:35She got in a cookie, sugar cookie lie.
04:37Yeah, she absolutely was.
04:39What a scandal.
04:40Yeah, I know.
04:41It was pretty intense.
04:42The cookie scandal.
04:44I wish I was there for the reveal of the, like, you bring in the cookies.
04:47Oh, I was so excited that morning.
04:49I'm like, wait till I unveil the Christmas cookie disaster.
04:52Yeah.
04:53Yes.
04:54I was like, oh, God, here we go.
04:56Yeah.
04:57Everything was right.
04:58Like, all she did was pick up a box of frozen cookies, grab the ice, and grab the sprinkles.
05:01They were right, they all sat out there, right in the Gordon-Puncher aisle.
05:04I will say, though, I will say.
05:05Really good?
05:06It's really good.
05:08They are.
05:08They're amazing.
05:09No, I will say.
05:10I mean, if you want to not get it wrong.
05:11They're like stars, trees, and something else.
05:14That's how you knew.
05:15You're like, they're not the exact shape.
05:17So, it's like.
05:19It comes right up.
05:21GFS is great.
05:21There it is, right there.
05:23Yeah, that was it.
05:24You get 72 in a box.
05:25Look at that.
05:26No, like, honestly, God, it's bringing back memories of those cookies.
05:30They're delicious.
05:31Oh, they're so good.
05:32If you want, like, the perfect flavor and consistency.
05:36Yeah, it's cheap, too.
05:36Look at that.
05:37Yeah, it's $9.99 for 72.
05:39Wow.
05:40How much did you pay for your parents' cookies?
05:43$30.
05:44No, the profit that was made.
05:47I know.
05:47She probably only gave you half.
05:50Oh, yeah, there was like 20 cookies in there.
05:52What?
05:52Oh, yeah, that's right.
05:54I can't believe that woman's still alive.
05:55Well.
05:56She gave you, like, beating the devil with a flip-flop or something.
05:59What?
06:00What?
06:01Who does that?
06:03Well.
06:03You would think that she'd say, no, here, just I'll make them for free.
06:07I won't.
06:07You don't have to pay me.
06:08Did you insist on paying?
06:09Oh, yeah.
06:10I said, no, no, I don't want you to do it.
06:11Because I felt bad.
06:11Like, she's going to go make all these cookies for my parents.
06:13Labor of these cookies.
06:14Yeah.
06:15Like, this must take forever.
06:16Perfect shapes.
06:17Like, she does it so well.
06:18Yeah.
06:19Like, I mean, they were all perfect.
06:20My parents were so impressed.
06:21They're like, did you get these professionally made?
06:24I'm like, no, just this crazy girl I work with.
06:26Yeah.
06:27Yeah.
06:28This is like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.
06:30It's so exciting.
06:31It's totally a Curb episode.
06:33Like, Larry would find out that the cookies weren't real.
06:36Like, that's what it sounds like.
06:37It was incredible.
06:39I can, I, this is how messed up these cookies.
06:42No, like, I can feel what it feels like to bite into one right now.
06:47It was honestly like our favorite day of the holiday season when she'd bring in her cookies.
06:51We were so excited.
06:52I'd bring in a bottle of Bailey's.
06:54We'd get wasted with coffee.
06:55We'd have our Christmas cookies.
06:57Yep.
06:57And it was all a lie.
06:59All of why you lie.
07:00Yep.
07:03All of why you lie.
07:04All of why you lie.
07:05All of why you lie.
07:06All of why you lie.
07:07All of why you lie.
07:08All of why you lie.
07:09All of why you lie.
07:10All of why you lie.
07:11All of why you lie.
07:12All of why you lie.
07:13All of you lie.
07:14All of you lie.
07:15All of you lie.
07:16All of you lie.
07:17All of you lie.
07:18All of you lie.
07:19All of you lie.
07:20All of you lie.
07:21All of you lie.
07:22All of you lie.
07:23All of you lie.
07:24All of you lie.
07:25All of you lie.
07:26All of you lie.
07:27All of you lie.
07:28All of you lie.
07:29All of you lie.
07:30All of you lie.
07:31All of you lie.