eastenders
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00:00Fail this test, and you have to kill yourself, old pal.
00:09Nothing could have meant to do. Merry Christmas, after all.
00:13Sorry, right, let's stop.
00:16In Night of the Living Dead, what substance did they use to make fake blood?
00:21Come on, you know this one.
00:27In Smokey and Abundant...
00:28Cheers, officer. You're coming to find me.
00:32What is this, eh? What is this? Some sort of sick joke.
00:35It's just a precaution.
00:36No, it ain't a precaution, Night. It's you.
00:39You planning to kill yourself.
00:48Smoke's just sat there watching cartoons on her tablet.
00:51Won't talk about it.
00:52Because she's watching cartoons?
00:54Are you worried? A man she hardly knows just trying to drag her off down the street.
00:58She could be, you know, emotionally damaged.
01:00She is emotionally damaged. Her dad died.
01:02What happened with Nigel is small potatoes in comparison.
01:06Fine. If you think it's nothing, then I guess it's nothing.
01:08No, I'm not saying it's nothing, Harvey.
01:10But what happened isn't his fault.
01:12And I'm not going to demonise him.
01:14And I don't want the kids in the house to do that either.
01:17He's sick.
01:19And he needs compassion and support.
01:23You should know that.
01:25Look, I'm...
01:39I know this must be a shock for you, but...
01:43What you saw, the video, doesn't mean I'm actually planning to do something.
01:47You're gonna have to kill yourself, old pal.
01:51That, that is what you said.
01:53Only if I fail the test, but maybe I won't.
01:57Maybe your cooking will do for me first.
02:00I'm scared, Phil.
02:15Scared of losing myself.
02:18Of...
02:20Becoming different.
02:22And more than that...
02:25I'm scared that I won't even notice.
02:29This makes me feel less scared.
02:31Means that every...
02:33Every now and then I can...
02:35I can do this cognitive test.
02:38You know, when I feel worse or I have a bad day.
02:42Like today.
02:44And...
02:46Check that I'm okay.
02:48And what if you ain't?
02:50What if you ain't?
02:51You're talking about killing yourself.
02:52Because you can't answer one poxy question.
02:53It's almost like you want to do it.
02:55No, no, of course I don't.
02:58But these are facts that I know off the top of my head.
03:02Or should do if I'm of sound mind.
03:07I'm not saying I...
03:10Do it straight away, but I would start making preparations.
03:14Yeah, to kill yourself.
03:16To kill yourself. We'll call it what it is, yeah?
03:17I know how hard this must be for you.
03:23What you went through in the arches before with your mum.
03:29Oh, I don't.
03:31Oh, I don't.
03:33Just don't talk about her.
03:34Oh.
03:36Now, you said this video was made at Christmas.
03:39It's all that stuff you said in the arches that night.
03:42Telling me to keep going.
03:43Because life...
03:44Life was worth living.
03:45I should keep fighting.
03:46You didn't...
03:47You didn't believe a word of it, did you?
03:48I meant every single word.
03:49How could you?
03:50When you was already planned...
03:51Our situations aren't the same!
03:54There's no getting better for me!
03:56Well, in that case...
03:57Why don't you just top yourself, right?
03:59Why don't you just stop yourself?
04:00And get it over and come with.
04:01You!
04:04You are a hypocrite.
04:05You know that.
04:06You're a hypocrite.
04:08And I'll wash my hands here.
04:27Got an interview.
04:29I've just had a phone call from the mayor's office.
04:32They want a photo up at Paradise Park.
04:34Me and the mayor.
04:35Breaking ground.
04:37Look, Nick.
04:38I know you've had some reservations about the job.
04:42Because of Dartford.
04:44And Harry.
04:45But that is all behind us.
04:46And this...
04:47This is going to be massive for us.
04:50Yeah.
04:51Of course.
04:53Let's just hope it goes ahead, eh?
04:55Because these things have a tendency of falling through.
04:58Well, we start work later this week.
05:01This week?
05:02Yeah.
05:03Why wait?
05:04Junior's got the Groundworks team in place.
05:05The plants are on site.
05:06And Ross...
05:07Well, he's as keen as mustard.
05:08He's already started hiring fellas.
05:10Everything's ready to go.
05:13You okay?
05:14Oh, yeah, yeah.
05:15I've just...
05:16I've got an headache, that's all.
05:17Look, er...
05:18Like I said, I...
05:19I know you've had your doubts about the whole thing, but...
05:22Well, your support...
05:23means everything to me.
05:24I'll tell you what, why don't you go and get your Gladbags on and come with me?
05:29It'll be a much better photo with you, innit?
05:31Nah, like I said, I've got an headache.
05:33Alright, no worries.
05:34I'll send you a pic.
05:35Me in the mouth.
05:37Spades in the ground.
05:38See ya, bye.
05:39I'm just about to nip over to the Vic.
05:40See how they're getting on.
05:41Are you about to come in and see how your room is?
05:45I don't want to go back to live back to Vic.
05:46Well, come on, mate.
05:47You know you couldn't stay here forever.
05:48It's gonna be fun at the Vic.
05:49You know how there's...
05:50Fresh paint, squishy carpets.
05:51I don't care about squishy carpets.
05:52I like the carpets here.
05:53It's too noisy in the Vic.
05:54I want to stay here.
05:55You can't.
05:56I mean, this isn't our home.
05:57People are in the house.
05:58I've got to go back to live back to Vic.
06:01I don't want to go back to live back to Vic.
06:03Well come on, mate.
06:04You know you couldn't stay here forever.
06:06It's gonna be fun at the Vic.
06:08You know, there's fresh paint, squishy carpets.
06:12I don't care about squishy carpets.
06:15I like the carpets here.
06:17It's too noisy in the Vic.
06:19I want to stay here.
06:20You can't.
06:21I mean, this isn't our home.
06:23People in line are gonna be moving in with their new baby, so...
06:26Suck a little bit on my own.
06:28No.
06:32I mean, you're family, so you belong with us.
06:35But I'll take into consideration everything you said
06:39and try to make sure it's an environment that's comfortable for you.
06:43Alright?
06:44Promise.
06:53I told you.
06:54He won't listen.
06:56Well, maybe he'll listen to me.
06:58I know it's last minute, but I was thinking we could hire a singer.
07:03Like a tribute act thing.
07:05I've seen this shirt on my Insta.
07:07Mum loves a bit of shirt, doesn't she?
07:09She's North London-based, but I reckon she'd come in if we could check her a few extra quid.
07:16You're thinking about her, aren't you?
07:18Who?
07:19Huh?
07:20Avani.
07:21Dare to tell me you two are hanging out.
07:23The old man's a nutter, but she seems alright.
07:26You should get in there.
07:27Get in there?
07:28Yeah, ask her out.
07:30What have you got to lose?
07:32My pride and our friendship.
07:34Friendship.
07:35I'm not being funny, Barn, but that's just what blokes call it when they ain't getting any.
07:40God, you are so...unevolved.
07:44She is my friend.
07:46Like, today she said that I made her feel normal for the first time in ages.
07:51That's friendship.
07:52No.
07:53That's tragic is what that is.
07:55Seriously, Barn, if you like her, and I know you like her, why do you want to just make her feel normal?
08:03It was a compliment.
08:04She didn't feel a lot.
08:05Yeah, and you've been there for her, and you've been a good friend, and yada, yada, yada.
08:09Well, come on, Barn.
08:11Why are you just settling for being her mate?
08:14You fancy her?
08:15So ask her out.
08:29Now, that's something I haven't heard in a while.
08:32What are you doing here?
08:34Avoiding home, ignoring my messages.
08:36How else am I meant to check my little girls are okay?
08:39And I'm fine, dad.
08:41Look at you.
08:43Smiling and everything.
08:45Yeah, because I've just seen Barney.
08:48It made me feel a bit more like myself, I guess, so...
08:52Come here.
08:55You know I'm proud of you.
08:58Right?
08:59Dad?
09:00Mm-hm.
09:01Is this like a moment?
09:02Is this something that I'm going to look back on years from now when you're dead, and you're gone?
09:18It's a moment, but it ain't all that.
09:21Now you're feeling more like yourself, why don't we celebrate?
09:27We could go on a trip, get you away from here.
09:31What?
09:32Like a foreign holiday?
09:33Yeah, we could go on a short holiday.
09:34Yeah?
09:35A holiday?
09:36Short break.
09:37Okay.
09:38I'm excited.
09:39I have a thing.
09:40No, you're going to have to buy me new dresses.
09:41I'm going to need skirts, a bikini.
09:42Do you know what?
09:43Yeah, you're right.
09:44Let me have a thing.
09:45So, I was just passing and thought I'd pop in and see how you are.
10:06I'm fine.
10:09So, how's Hope?
10:10Oh, she's fine.
10:11Water for duck's back.
10:12Water for duck's back.
10:16If you want me to go, just tell me to help it.
10:19Oh, no, sorry.
10:20Easter puns on the brain as the kids.
10:23Yeah, it's an exciting day for them.
10:26Yeah, we've had that one a few times as well.
10:30So I actually came round to give you this
10:33because you said you loved horror films.
10:36Oh, Night of the Living Dead is one of my faves.
10:39Oh, well, there you go then.
10:40I was thinking about it just today.
10:42There's a scene in it where the zombies are eating bodies
10:47in the back of a burnt-out truck,
10:49but actually they use roast ham smothered in chocolate sauce.
10:54I like ham.
10:55And chocolate.
10:58Well, we could put it on now if you like.
11:01Do you know, um...
11:03That would be lovely.
11:05Oh.
11:07If Kojo feels that he's ready to live alone,
11:09and we owe it to him to explore that, don't we?
11:12Even if he was ready.
11:15Renting is expensive.
11:16We haven't made any income for months.
11:19I will find a job.
11:20Yeah, exactly.
11:21And it doesn't have to be a big place.
11:23He just...
11:25He wants to be in control of his environment.
11:26I want my own front door.
11:29Yeah.
11:31That would be your own front door, isn't everything, you know?
11:34Being safe is really important.
11:36And the promise I made Cobb and I, I take very seriously.
11:39It's my job.
11:41To make sure you're okay.
11:44Do you think I'm a child?
11:46I'm not a child.
11:48I'm a man.
11:49And that will prove it.
11:50Gojo, you everything all right?
11:56My own front door.
11:58Like this front door.
12:02Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
12:03But I really should go after him.
12:05Meet up mate, if you like.
12:07Oh, no, sir.
12:08Linda, I want to see you.
12:09You got a minute?
12:10Yeah, of course.
12:11Stick the kettle on, shall I?
12:12Are you even listening to me?
12:20Yeah.
12:21So, there's this girl that I follow, right?
12:22And she went to this hotel resort type thing in Marbella.
12:25Mm-hmm.
12:25Beautiful pool, lovely food.
12:27And you could do all of these trips.
12:29Like, you could swim with dolphins.
12:30You could even go on a sunset cruise.
12:32Yeah.
12:32And do you know what else you...
12:33Ivani, yeah, that all sounds great.
12:35But when I was thinking about a short trip,
12:37I wasn't actually thinking about, you know,
12:39jumping on the plane.
12:41Oh.
12:41So, then what was you thinking?
12:44I don't know.
12:44Maybe a trip to Bournemouth or something.
12:48Bournemouth?
12:51Dad.
12:52Where have you been?
12:54Now, I've left you about half a dozen messages.
12:57I don't care what you've been up to.
12:59If I leave you a message, you call me back.
13:03Harry's gone.
13:04One hour.
13:05Dad, you told me to think about a holiday.
13:07No, I said a short break.
13:08Yeah, of my heart.
13:11Ivani.
13:12Ivani.
13:14Ivani, I just don't have the money for that kind of thing right now.
13:24I don't really know why I'm here.
13:29You're in this kitchen or here on this planet?
13:33Just so I know what kind of chat I'm looking for.
13:38I think you know you can tell me anything after what we've been through together.
13:43Is this about Nigel?
13:48I heard of what happened out there.
13:50It's about him, yeah.
13:51It's about my mum.
13:53It's about me.
13:53It's about what happened to me.
13:56He's been a big support to you, hasn't he?
14:04And after today, you're starting to see what?
14:08That he's declining?
14:10Starting to imagine him not being there?
14:13How this might end?
14:14I know.
14:15I know it's going to end.
14:16He told me.
14:20He's making plans to kill himself.
14:23We'll be all right here.
14:31We'll be all right here until someone comes to rescue us.
14:33But we'll have to work together.
14:34You'll have to help me.
14:35Now, I want you to go in and get some wood so I can void the place up.
14:38Do you understand?
14:40Okay?
14:41Oh, I don't have to watch it if you don't want to.
14:44No, no, no.
14:45It's nice having a distraction.
14:48And nothing distracts like a zombie child eating her dad.
14:53Thank you for coming here.
15:00Sitting with me, I appreciate it.
15:04I wasn't sure what I was going to do with myself, if I'm honest.
15:09I'll stay with you till Phil comes back.
15:16Do you know where he's gone?
15:18Hmm.
15:20Have you and Phil had a row?
15:24Oh, I hope he wasn't cross with you about what happened.
15:26He should know that it wasn't your fault.
15:28It's difficult sometimes, you know, for dealing with something like this for everyone.
15:34It's not his fault.
15:35No, but I would expect him to be supporting you.
15:38You know, like I said before, if you ever need anyone to talk to, because I do know what it feels like to, you know, feel that you're a burden to your friends and family.
15:49I mean, there are times when I felt my illness was crushing the people closest to me, so I do understand.
15:57And you'll never be a burden to me.
15:59I never wanted to be a burden to anyone.
16:01As soon as I was diagnosed, that was my primary thought.
16:08That's why I walked away from, from, I didn't want to drag anyone down.
16:19I don't want to drag anyone down.
16:25Do you feel like you're dragging Phil down?
16:29Because believe you me, many people have tried, but Phil Mitchell is tough as old boots.
16:35Are you okay?
16:51Yeah, I'm fine.
16:54It's just, today, I'm tired.
17:02Of course, yes.
17:04Yes, I'll make myself scarce, and then you can rest.
17:11Jean, thank you for everything.
17:29You told him to get on with it?
17:31I'm not proud of it, all right?
17:32How could you even think to say something like that?
17:34I wasn't thinking straight, I wasn't thinking at all, all right?
17:37I just, I suppose it hit a nerve, it hit a couple of nerves, if I'm honest.
17:45I think about that, that night, how the arches.
17:50Probably think about it more than I should, but I think about what you said,
17:53and I think about what he said to me.
17:55You know, that he needed me to be alive, to help him get through this.
18:00But he's not even going to try it, which makes a mockery of what he said before, because I took him seriously.
18:08But later on, late morning, in the mental health unit, I told myself that I would be there for him to help him get through it.
18:19You know, he gave me something to hold on to, and I, I made him a promise, you know, in my head.
18:26A vow.
18:28And you feel let down.
18:34He's not trying to hurt you, he's just scared.
18:38Think about the people left behind.
18:44That's what you said to me that night at the arches.
18:47Think about my family.
18:51And I'm, I'm, I'm all the family he's got.
18:54And I don't, I don't want him gone, just like...
18:56Just like I didn't want my mum gone, nothing, maybe that's why I, that's why he hit me like a dip, because, you know,
19:05what he told me, there I was, in the same house, in the same chair that I was nine years earlier, watching some boxy film,
19:13while all the time, my mum's upstairs, alone, and dead, and in her bed.
19:22And I let her, I let her down.
19:26I let her down because I let her die alone.
19:31A part of me blamed myself, and part of me, part of me blamed her, for leaving me alone.
19:43And then we're just, in that same house.
19:46Why did you come in today, Phil?
19:57I don't know, I'm just...
19:59I'm trying, I'm trying to understand this as, I don't know, just, to talk.
20:05And I, I, I'm glad you did.
20:10But, you know, there's someone else you really need to be talking to.
20:16I mean, why would anyone tell someone to think about something that they really want, just to tell them that they can't have it?
20:27It just makes no sense.
20:29Hey, look, fair enough, maybe a week in Marbs was a bit too much, but...
20:33I don't know, I just feel like I'm getting my mojo back.
20:36And I fancy going somewhere fun.
20:38I mean, you could come to my mum's party tomorrow, if you like.
20:42But, I don't really know how much fun that'll be, just me and my family and stuff.
20:47So, it would be me and you, watching a load of old people get drunk and dance terribly?
20:56Yeah, yeah, that's pretty much it.
20:59Well, I could do with a laugh.
21:03I'm in.
21:04Yeah?
21:04Yeah. I'll see you later.
21:06Yeah, all right, I'll see you later.
21:13You took your time.
21:15I'll take a beer, gorgeous.
21:16You'd slap round the head if you don't change your tongue.
21:19So, why am I here?
21:23Do you remember telling me that Paradise Park wouldn't be dug up?
21:27They sold it for housing.
21:30They start digging later this week.
21:34Oh, I'm glad you're smiling.
21:37I need to move the body.
21:41You killed her.
21:44Not me.
21:44This ain't my problem.
21:46Oh.
21:48Oh, I think you'll find it is your problem.
21:51You buried her.
21:52You upped your eyeballs, mate.
21:55They find her.
21:57They'll come for you.
21:59No, I don't think so.
22:00Do you remember that diamond bracelet you lost way back?
22:07You didn't lose it.
22:09I needed some insurance just in case you've tried to pin everything on me.
22:15It's buried with the body.
22:16And if they find her, if they find her, if they find her, if they find her, then they find you.
22:26Right.
22:28Either you help me, or I'll take you down with me.
22:32I will tell them everything.
22:34Yeah, knock yourself out.
22:37No sign that I was ever there, is there?
22:39No motive.
22:40Nothing.
22:42So.
22:46Dollar.
22:47Faye.
22:48Cowgirl.
22:50What three words?
22:51That's where she is.
22:54I'd crack on if I were you.
22:55How long have you been stood there?
23:18I don't know.
23:20I wasn't timing myself.
23:22Alright, what can I do for you?
23:24I want you to give me a job.
23:26Alright.
23:27What, so you just walk in here and ask for a job?
23:30How can I get a job if I didn't ask?
23:33Yeah, fair point.
23:35Do you know anything about cars?
23:36I know everything about cars.
23:38Back in Ghana, I used to pay for cars for my uncle's car business.
23:44Now I need a job, so I can make money to pay for a flat, and she'll call me that I'm independent.
23:50Well, that's good motivation right there.
23:52If we need anyone, I'll be in touch.
23:55How will you be in touch?
23:57I don't know.
23:58I'll come round your house and knock.
24:01Right.
24:02Well, I'll wait for your knock.
24:04Good luck fixing that alternator, mate.
24:06No, mate, it's the start of the mobile.
24:09When you try and turn it over, multiple clicks, alternator.
24:17Now, why didn't I think of that?
24:18Maybe it's because you're not as good with cars as I am.
24:24Do you know what?
24:25I'm going to be run off my feet tomorrow.
24:27You fancy helping me out?
24:28Time for a quick chat.
24:51Really?
24:52Why?
24:52I couldn't help hearing what you said before.
24:56Outside with your daughter.
24:58Hey, look, there's no need to be embarrassed, you know.
25:00It's tough times for everyone right now.
25:03I might know why you can make a little extra cash if you want.
25:07I thought you got out of your game.
25:09I did.
25:10Don't touch drugs no more.
25:12This is just a little job that I can't do on my own.
25:18Big, strong man like you.
25:20Well, you wouldn't break a sweat.
25:28Suit yourself.
25:30You know where I am if you change your mind.
25:31I'm sorry.
25:42Knowledge.
26:05Knowledge.
26:05Knowledge.
26:42Nigel?
26:49Homeless loser, innit?
27:09Not what?
27:10Homeless or loser?
27:12What's the nut bag?
27:13Nothing.
27:15Let go!
27:16Let go!
27:16Ah!
27:21It's a date's over.
27:24Ah!