EastEnders 22nd April 2025
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00MUSIC
00:27No ifs.
00:29no buts fail this test and you have to kill yourself
00:39enough gloom and doom it's christmas after all so right let's stop
00:46in uh night of the living dead what substance did they use to make fake
00:50blood come on you know this one
00:54i thought it's smoky and abandoned all right cheers i was just coming to find
01:02what is this hey what is this some sort of sick joke it's just a precaution no it ain't
01:06a precaution it's you you planning to kill yourself
01:18folks just sat there watching cartoons on the tablet won't talk about it because she's watching
01:23cartoons are you worried a man she hardly knows just try to drag her off down the street she could be
01:29you know emotionally damaged she is emotionally damaged her dad died what happened with nigel
01:34is small potatoes in comparison fine if you think it's nothing then i guess it's not no i'm not saying
01:39it's nothing harvey but what happened isn't his fault and i'm not going to demonize him and i don't want
01:45the kids in the house to do that either he's sick and he needs compassion and support you should know that
01:59i know this must be a shock for you but what you saw the video don't mean i'm actually planning to do something
02:17you're gonna have to kill yourself old pal that that is what you said only if i fail the test but
02:25maybe i won't maybe your cooking will do for me first
02:31i'm scared phil scared of losing myself of becoming different and more than that
02:53i'm scared that i won't even notice this makes me feel less scared means that every every now and
03:03then i i can i can do this cognitive test you know when i feel worse or have a bad day
03:10like today and check that i'm okay what if you ain't what if you ain't you're talking about killing
03:21yourself because you can't answer one poxy question it's almost like you want to do it no no of course i
03:26don't but these are facts that i know off the top of my head or should do if i'm of sound mind
03:34i'm not saying i'd i'd do it straight away but i i would start making preparations yeah to kill
03:45yourself to kill yourself we'll call it what it is yeah i know how hard this must be for you
03:54what you went through in the arches and before with your mum no i don't
04:00right don't let's don't talk about her now you said this this video was made at christmas
04:09so all that stuff you said in the arches that night telling me to keep going because life life
04:14was worth living i should keep fighting you didn't you didn't believe a word of it i meant every
04:18single word how could you when you was already planned our situations aren't the same
04:24there's no getting better for me all right well in that case why don't you just top yourself
04:29right why don't you stop yourself and get it over and done with you you are a hypocrite you know that
04:36you're a hypocrite and i'll wash me hands here
04:50you got an interview i've just had a phone call from the mayor's office they want a photo up at
05:03paradise park me in the mouth breaking ground look nick i know you've had some reservations about the job
05:12because of dartford and harry but that is all behind us and this this is going to be massive for us
05:20yeah of course let's just hope it goes ahead eh because these things they have a tendency of falling
05:27through well we start work later this week this week yeah why wait junior's got the groundworks team
05:35in place the plants are on site and ross well he's as keen as mustard he's already started hiring
05:40fellas everything's ready to go you okay oh yeah yeah i've just got an headache that's all look uh like
05:48i said i i know you've had your doubts about the whole thing but well your support means everything to
05:54me i'll tell you what why don't you go and get your glad bags on and come with me be a much better photo
06:00with you innit no like i said i've got an headache all right no worries i'll send you a pic me in the
06:07mouth spades in the ground see you bye
06:23i'm just about to nip over to the vic see how they're getting on
06:26you're about to come in and see how your room is i don't want to go back to live at the vic
06:34well come on mate you know we couldn't stay here forever it's gonna be fun at the vic you know
06:39there's fresh paint squishy carpets i don't care about squishy carpets i like the carpets here it's too
06:47noisy in the vic i want to stay here you can't i mean this isn't our home people online are going to be
06:54moving in with their new baby so so i can live on my own no i mean your family so you belong with us
07:06but i'll take into consideration everything you said and try and make sure it's an environment
07:12that's comfortable for you all right promise
07:15i told you he won't listen well maybe you'll listen to me
07:30i know it's last minute but i was thinking we could hire a singer like a tribute act thing
07:35i've seen this shirt woman on insta mum loves a bit of shirt doesn't she she's north london based but
07:41i reckon she'd come east if we chuck her a few extra quid
07:46you're thinking about her aren't you who
07:49ma
07:49avani
07:51they told me you two were hanging out her old man's a nutter but she seems all right
07:56you should get in there get in there yeah ask her out what have you got to lose
08:02my pride our friendship friendship i'm not being funny barn but that's just what blokes call it
08:08when they ain't getting any oh god you are so unevolved she is my friend like today she said that
08:18i made her feel normal for the first time in ages that's friendship no that's tragic is what that is
08:25seriously barn if you like her and i know you like her why do you want to just make her feel normal
08:33it was a compliment she's been through a lot yeah and you've been there for her and you've been a
08:37good friend and yada yada yada come on barn why are you just settling for being her mate you fancy her
08:45so ask her out
09:00now that's something i haven't heard in a while
09:02what are you doing here avoiding home ignoring my messages
09:06how else am i meant to check my little girl's okay so i'm fine dad look at you smiling and everything
09:16because i just seen barney it made me feel a bit more like myself i guess so
09:24come here
09:24you know i'm proud of you right
09:36dad
09:39is this like a moment
09:44is this something that i'm gonna look back on years from now when you're dead
09:48and you're gone it's a moment but it ain't all that
09:54it's a moment now you're feeling more like yourself why don't we celebrate
09:59we could go on a trip get you away from here
10:05what like a foreign holiday
10:09yeah we could um yeah we can go on a short holiday yeah a holiday a short break okay i'm excited
10:19no you're gonna have to buy me new dresses i'm gonna need skirts a bikini
10:24do you know what yeah you're right let me have a think
10:30so i was just passing and thought i'd pop in and see how you are i'm fine
10:39so how's hope oh she's fine water for ducks back
10:42if you want me to go just tell me to help it oh nope sorry easter puns on the brains for kids
10:53yeah it's uh an exciting day for them yeah we've had that one a few times as well
10:58yeah so um i actually came around to give you this because you said you loved horror films
11:05oh night of the living dead is one of my faves oh well there you go then i was thinking about it
11:12just today there's a scene in it where the um the zombies are eating bodies in the back of a burnt
11:18our truck but actually they use roast ham smothered in chocolate sauce i like ham and chocolate
11:28well we could put it on there if you like
11:30do you know um that would be lovely oh if kojo feels that he's ready to live alone then we owe
11:40it to him to explore that don't we even if he was ready renting is expensive we haven't made any
11:48income for months i will find a job yeah exactly and it doesn't have to be a big place he just
11:54he wants to be in control of his environment i want my own front door yeah having your own front
12:02door isn't everything you know being safe is really important and the promise i made cobb and i i take
12:08very seriously it's my job to make sure you're okay you think i'm a child i'm not a child i'm a man and i
12:19will prove it hey joe everything all right my own front door like this front door
12:32yeah i'm sorry about that but i really should go after him i mean have a night if you like
12:36oh no sir linda i want to see you you got a minute yeah of course stick the kettle on shall i
12:42are you even listening to me yeah so there's this girl that i follow right and she went to this hotel
12:53resort type thing in marbella beautiful pool lovely food and you could do all of these trips like you
12:59could swim with dolphins you could even go on a sunset cruise yeah and you know what else i've only yeah
13:03that's more sounds great but when i was thinking about a short trip i wasn't actually thinking about
13:08you know jumping on the plane oh so then what was she thinking oh no maybe a trip to bournemouth or
13:17something where have you been now i've left you about half a dozen messages i don't care what you've
13:28been up to if i leave you a message you call me back aries barn one hour dad you told me to think about
13:36a holiday no i said a short break yeah of my heart avani avani i just don't have the money for that
13:46kind of thing right now i don't really know why i'm here here in this kitchen or here on this planet
14:02just so i know what kind of chat we're in for
14:08i think you know you can tell me anything after what we've been through together
14:16is this about nigel i heard what happened out there it's about him yeah it's about it's about my mom
14:23it's about me it's about what happened to me he's been a big support to you hasn't he
14:34and after today you're starting to see what he's declining starting to imagine him not being there
14:43how this might end i know i know it's going to end he told me
14:50he's making plans to kill himself
14:59we'll be all right here we'll be all right here until someone comes to rescue us but we'll have to
15:04work together you'll have to help me now i want you to go in and get some wood so i can boil the place up
15:08you understand okay oh you don't have to watch it if you don't want to no no no it was nice having a
15:17a distraction and nothing distracts like a like a zombie child eating her dad
15:26um thank you for coming
15:30sitting with me i appreciate it
15:32uh wasn't sure what i was gonna do with myself if i'm honest i'll stay with you till phil comes back
15:46do you know where he's gone hmm have you and phil had a row
15:54oh i hope he wasn't crossed with you about what happened he should know that it wasn't your fault it's
15:58difficult sometimes you know for dealing with something like this for everyone it's not his
16:04fault no but i would expect him to be supporting you you know like i said before if you ever need
16:12anyone to talk to because i do know what it feels like to you know feel that you're a burden to your
16:18friends and family i mean there are times when i felt my illness was crushing the people closest to me
16:25so i do understand and you'll never be a burden to me i never wanted to be a burden to anyone
16:32as soon as while i was diagnosed that was my primary thought that's why i i walked away from
16:43from
16:47i didn't want to drag anyone down
16:49i don't want to drag anyone down do you feel like you're dragging phil down because believe you
17:00me many people have tried but phil mitchell is tough as old boots
17:05are you okay
17:21yeah i'm fine um it's just today
17:27i'm tired of course yes i'll make myself scarce and then you can rest
17:41jean thank you for everything
17:57you told him to get on with it i'm not proud of it all right how could you even think to say
18:04something like that i wasn't thinking straight i wasn't thinking at all all right i just
18:09i suppose it hit a nerve it hit a couple of nerves if i'm honest
18:17i think about her that night at the arches probably think about it more than i should but i
18:22think about what you said enough i think about what he said to me you know that he needed
18:27me to be alive to help him get through this and he does
18:32but he's not even gonna try which which makes a mockery of what he said before because i i i took
18:37him seriously
18:40the later on late one in um in the mental health unit i told myself that i would be there for him to
18:47to help him get through it you know he gave me he gave me something to hold on to and i
18:51i made him a promise you know in my head a vow
19:01then you feel let down
19:04he's not trying to hurt you he's just scared think about the people left behind
19:11that's what you said to me that night at the arches to think about my family
19:21and i'm on i'm all the family he's got and i don't i don't want him gone just like
19:27just like i didn't want my mom gone nothing that's why that's why it hit me like a dip because
19:35you know what he told me there i was it in the same house sat in the same chair that i was
19:41nine years earlier watching some boxy film while all the time my mum's upstairs alone
19:47i'm dead in her bed
19:52i let her i let her down i let her down because i let her die alone
20:01and part of me blamed myself and part of me part of me blamed her for leaving me alone
20:11and then he is in that same house
20:23why do you come here today phil
20:27i don't know just
20:28i'm trying to understand this as well i don't know just to talk and i i'm glad you did
20:40but you know there's someone else you really need to be talking to
20:46i mean why would anyone tell someone to think about something that they really want
20:55just to tell them that they can't have it it just makes no sense
20:58hey look fair enough maybe a week in marbs was a bit too much but i don't know i just feel like i'm
21:04getting my mojo back and i fancy going somewhere fun i mean you could come to my mum's party tomorrow
21:11if you like and though i don't really know how much fun that'll be just me and my family and stuff
21:18so it would be me and you watching a load of old people get drunk and dance terribly
21:26yeah yeah that's pretty much it
21:30well i could do with a laugh
21:31i'm in yeah yeah i'll see you later yeah all right i'll see you later
21:43you took your time i'll take a beer gorgeous slap around the head if you don't change your tongue
21:49so why am i here do you remember telling me the paradise park wouldn't be dug up
21:56they sold it for housing they start digging later this week
22:04oh i'm glad you're smiling i need to move the body
22:12you killed her not me this ain't my problem oh i think you'll find it is your problem
22:20you buried her you're up to your eyeballs mate they find her they'll come for you
22:29no i don't think so do you remember that diamond bracelet you lost way back you didn't lose it
22:39i needed some insurance just in case you've tried to pin everything on me
22:42it's buried with the body and if they find her they find here and then they find you
22:56right either you help me i'll take you down with me i will tell them everything yeah knock yourself
23:05about no sign that i was ever there is there no motive nothing so
23:16dollar fane cow cow what three words that's where she is i'd crack on if i were you
23:35i don't know i wasn't timing myself all right what can i do for you i want you to give me a job
23:56all right what so you just walk in here and ask for a job how can i get a job if i didn't ask
24:02yeah fair point do you know anything about cars i know everything about cars back in ghana
24:10i used to pair cars for my uncle's car business now i need a job so i can make money to pay for a flat
24:18and she'll call me that i'm independent well that's good motivation right there if we need anyone i'll be
24:24in touch how will you be in touch i don't know i'll i'll come around your house and knock right
24:32well like i'll wait for you knock good luck fixing that alternator mate no mate it's the starter motor
24:39where you try and turn it over multiple clicks alternator
24:47now why didn't i think of that maybe it's because you're not as good with cars as i am
24:52do you know what i'm going to be run off my feet tomorrow you fancy helping me out
25:10time for quick chat really why couldn't help hearing what you said before outside with your
25:26daughter hey look there's no need to be embarrassed you know it's tough times for everyone right now
25:32i might know where you can make a little extra cash if you want i thought you got out of drug game
25:39i did don't touch drugs no more this is just a little job that i can't do on my own
25:48big strong man like you well you wouldn't break a sweat
25:51suit yourself you know where i am if you change your mind
26:21knowledge knowledge knowledge
26:51Nigel?
27:21Homeless loser, innit?
27:36Not what?
27:40Homeless or a loser?
27:42What's in the bag?
27:44Let go!
27:46Let go!
27:48We need to go tomorrow.
28:06Details of organisations offering information and support with dementia, mental health or
28:11feelings of despair are available on the Action Line pages of the BBC website.
28:18Thank you so much.