Taskmaster AU Season 01 Episode 03
Fabulous Taskmaster Tom Gleeson puts five funny folk to the test, with Julia Morris, Luke McGregor, Jimmy Rees, Nina Oyama and Danielle Walker undergoing a range of ridiculous tasks for our amusement.
Fabulous Taskmaster Tom Gleeson puts five funny folk to the test, with Julia Morris, Luke McGregor, Jimmy Rees, Nina Oyama and Danielle Walker undergoing a range of ridiculous tasks for our amusement.
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00:00This is the best day of my life.
00:30Yes, hello, welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:37My name is Tom Gleeson and I am the aforementioned Taskmaster.
00:41For all those seeking entertainment, you've come to the right place.
00:44For those sickos amongst you who specifically take joy from seeing comedians humiliating themselves while earnestly trying their best,
00:53all while trying to win a golden replica of my large head, good news, that's kind of our whole deal.
01:00Oh, wow. It's lovely, isn't it?
01:03Competing for glory in our first season, we have four of Australia's finest comedians
01:07and one former children's TV host reinventing himself as a bad boy.
01:12Every time! Every time!
01:15They are Danielle Walker, Jimmy Reese, Julia Morris, Luke McGregor and Nina Riyama.
01:24Being a Taskmaster is a full-time job, one that I do for about ten days a year.
01:31It means I don't have time for things like admin.
01:34I leave that to my humble assistant.
01:36We have the same name, so just to clear things up, I'm Main Tom and he's Lesser Tom.
01:43It's Tom Cashman.
01:45APPLAUSE
01:46I'm personally just happy I'm not leased Tom.
01:52It's time for some dreaded admin, so take it away, Lesser Tom.
01:55So our first task is a prize task.
01:58Each of our contestants have been asked to bring in a prize.
02:00The best one will receive five points, second best four points and so on.
02:04And then the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
02:08OK. What have they brought in tonight?
02:10Tonight they've been asked to bring in the thing they'd most like to be buried with.
02:14I love a bit of coffin accoutrement, so let's start with Julia Morris.
02:19What would you take with you?
02:21I would like to take a really big lighter because I just want to be dust.
02:27I can't go in the whole ground with that stuff eating me.
02:31And here is the lighter.
02:35OK, so you're in the coffin with the lighter and then you're buried.
02:38Who lights you?
02:40That's a really good question.
02:42Do I have to be buried?
02:44Yeah, that was kind of part of it, wasn't it?
02:47You could argue it's the whole thing.
02:49All right, I appreciate your sentiment, but I'm pretty sure if you go to a crematorium,
02:52they don't just get a bick and singe your edges.
02:55There's a little curtain.
02:56You wouldn't know what goes on behind there.
02:58You think there's a person behind the curtain with a bick going,
03:00all right, here we go.
03:02I think there's heaps of people with lots of bicks.
03:04A guard of honour.
03:05A guard of honour with all...
03:06They've all got bicks.
03:07Yes, farewell.
03:08Showing their respect while they singe your edges.
03:10Don't make me cry, Tom.
03:11That's beautiful.
03:12Okay.
03:13Nina?
03:14I would like to be buried with some worms.
03:18Yeah.
03:19And why is that?
03:20I thought it would be a funny prank on some, like, worms in the ground if I already pre-wormed
03:24myself?
03:26And so then, like, the worms in the ground would try and move into my body, and then
03:30there would be some worms already there being like, no, like, get away from my house.
03:34And then they'd have a turf war over my dead body.
03:38All right.
03:38Okay, so quite like that one.
03:40What about you, Jimmy?
03:42Well, you didn't really specify if you were alive or dead, so I'd just take my phone,
03:46and call for help, and be done, and be able to...
03:48I thought you'd take your phone so you could do some viral TikTok videos in the afterlife.
03:59There'd be time for that, wouldn't there?
04:01Yeah.
04:02Did we mention whether you had to be dead or alive?
04:04No, we didn't.
04:05It's simply the thing they'd most like to be buried with.
04:08Looking back, I should have said Brad Pitt.
04:10All right, Danielle, what would you like to be buried with?
04:16I bought a treasure map.
04:18Well, because I thought it would be fun for somebody to dig me up and then be sent on
04:24a wild goose chase for some treasure.
04:28I'm just a bit of a prankster.
04:30All right, so this is a more detailed prank than Nina's, which I quite like.
04:33I feel like, is the treasure near you, or...?
04:35No, no, no, it's wherever.
04:36This map I found on the internet.
04:38I've been there.
04:41It's actually a Hungry Jack's.
04:45Luke, what do you have for us?
04:48Mine's similar to Jimmy's.
04:49Mine's sort of practical, but I was worried about battery life and not having reception.
04:53So if I get buried and I happen to be still alive, I brought a shovel.
05:03It's also good, because if I find Danielle's map, I can dig for the treasure.
05:06OK, how do you picture that working out?
05:10In practicality, you're underground, you're alive, you've got your shovel.
05:12Yeah, I was thinking that, because if I'm buried with a shovel in the coffin, I actually
05:15need to get out of that first before I, um...
05:18And you can imagine what an idiot I'd feel once I'm inside the coffin with the shovel going...
05:22Of all the things.
05:24Yeah, I didn't think this through enough.
05:25Because once I'm out of the coffin, I'm home free.
05:29But actually getting out is a problem.
05:30So, yeah, I, uh, I admit there are flaws.
05:35I must say, I think this is really hard to score, because they're all equally a bit shit-ass.
05:40I think I'm going to have to put Julia last with a lighter, because, first of all, it wouldn't
05:43really cremate you, and also, it's just very small, quite boring.
05:47I think Jimmy with a phone as well.
05:49What?
05:49I think it's a good idea, if you're buried alive, to have a phone.
05:52But I think Luke was exactly right.
05:54There'd be no reception.
05:55Nina?
05:56I mean, I did like the prank, but again, worms is probably the first thing you think
05:59of when you think of being buried.
06:00So you're on three points.
06:01Luke with the shovel, and Danielle, five points for the pirate treasure map.
06:08These scores aren't for nothing.
06:10We're tallying them across the whole season.
06:12Tom Cashman, how do things stand in the race for my golden noggin?
06:17Winning the season so far, it's Danielle on 37 points.
06:24You're right.
06:24I'm ready for the first task, Lester Tom.
06:27All right.
06:28Don't forget, everyone, when you go outside, it's important to flip, flop, flap.
06:47Hello, Tom.
06:49Tom.
06:51Ooh, what do we get here?
06:52Okay, that's not something you normally see on a table.
06:56Okay, here we go, sir.
07:06Fly this thong the furthest.
07:08The furthest thong wins.
07:10You have 20 minutes.
07:11Your time starts now.
07:14Okay.
07:16Thong flight.
07:17What are you thinking?
07:17Uh, I'm thinking that I got a small food stain on my flight suit over lunch and I'm embarrassed
07:22to stand up.
07:23Oh, right.
07:24Where, where is the stain?
07:26It's here and here.
07:27That's shameful to you?
07:29I don't know if the camera can even see it, but let's go fly this thong.
07:33It's a pretty simple task.
07:38What's the furthest you've flown a thong, Tom Cashman?
07:41Probably in my luggage to Europe in 2011.
07:44I went backpacking with a few friends and my ex-girlfriend at the time and, yeah, yeah,
07:48looking back was probably one of the best times of my life.
07:52Is that it?
07:53Mm.
07:53I don't care, yeah?
07:57All right, shall we watch some thongs take flight?
08:00One of them fears the beach.
08:02The other is wearing a thong right now.
08:03It's Luke and Jimmy.
08:07What about some sort of, like, catapult launching device?
08:11Mm.
08:12Like a...
08:13So the plan is you stand there with a cricket bat.
08:17Okay.
08:17And then I'll throw the thong.
08:18Okay.
08:19And then with the bat, you hit it even further, so it's still technically in the air.
08:23Okay.
08:24How accurate do you think you can be?
08:25Don't worry about me, buddy.
08:26You worry about your bat.
08:27I am worried.
08:29Okay, well, worry...
08:30Okay, I'll worry about...
08:30Okay, well, yeah, I'm worried as well.
08:32I'm going to try this first and then I'll just hoik it as far as I can.
08:38Okay, that's okay.
08:40Oh!
08:42How far do you think that is?
08:43I'm going to say, like, 11 basketballers standing on each other's heads and lying down.
08:48Okay.
08:4911.
08:4911 what?
08:5011 Jimmy steps.
08:51Okay.
08:52Okay, buddy.
08:53I'm pretty confident we can do it in one.
08:55Here we go.
08:59Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
09:02Nope.
09:02I'm just going to throw it, aren't I?
09:04That's going to be the furthest...
09:06Like, this is going to work.
09:07I'm going to move this.
09:08I think...
09:09I think this was the problem.
09:14Like, I like the catapult idea, but maybe I just need a...
09:17Nope.
09:18Nope.
09:21Oh, okay.
09:22Okay.
09:24Oh, no, I farted at the same time.
09:25I'm sorry.
09:26I put myself up because I farted at the same time.
09:29I wonder how far I can jab with it.
09:31Thanks, buddy.
09:43Hey, I'm tied, too.
09:44Throwing it is really hard.
09:45I know.
09:46Don't slip on me.
09:47Oh, yeah, that's pretty good.
09:5030 seconds.
09:53Oh, no.
09:57I mean, that's a hit.
09:59It's shorter than the other.
10:00Yeah, that's a good point.
10:0211, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
10:11Yeah, Luke, did you ask Tom if he plays cricket?
10:21Tom, do you play cricket?
10:22No.
10:24So even if you could throw it accurately, which you couldn't,
10:29Tom probably couldn't hit it very far.
10:32Now that you bring it up, that would have been a good question
10:35to ask up top.
10:37Yeah.
10:38You kind of came to that conclusion, too, Jimmy.
10:40Do you think that just throwing it would have been better
10:42rather than getting distracted?
10:43I attached it to a stupid oar, which was way heavier than the thong,
10:46and just tried to javelin it.
10:48I tried to become an Olympic javeliner,
10:51just like in 20 minutes, you know,
10:52when I wasted eight minutes trying to be an Olympic javeliner.
10:57Just quickly, what was the top hat for, Jimmy?
10:59I just thought I'd look...
11:01I was going to say cool doing it, but I think it enhanced my embarrassment.
11:06Jimmy managed to fly his thong 28.19 metres
11:10implementing his chucking-while-bouncing method.
11:13Luke registered a flight of 40.38 metres.
11:20OK, it's time for a break.
11:21More unidentified flying javeliners will take to the skies when we return.
11:26APPLAUSE
11:26Hello again.
11:38Welcome back to Taskmaster.
11:40It's the third episode, and I'm getting the hang of it.
11:43Our contestants, hard to say.
11:45Quick reminder of the task in play, Tom Cashman.
11:48Well, the task is to fly a single thong as far as you can
11:51while using whatever ingenious method you could come up with,
11:54using your limitless imagination,
11:56and so far, two of them have chucked it.
11:59Surely we can do better than that.
12:01You'd hope so.
12:02Much like a thong, these two keep you on your toes.
12:05It's Nina and Danielle.
12:06APPLAUSE
12:07What have you got here?
12:10Oh, I've got the thong.
12:12OK.
12:12And, um, I want to glue some googly eyes on it.
12:15Yep.
12:15If you have the time, why not make things slightly aesthetic?
12:20Mm.
12:20What I would like to do is put a heap of matches on the back of him
12:24and then light them on fire, and then he'll fly.
12:28This is what we say.
12:29Nina, it's a pretty good effort to have, like, a little gold wing.
12:33I think it's aesthetic.
12:35OK.
12:35He'll go out and go up to space, actually.
12:39I'm going to take him to space.
12:40OK.
12:40Actually, he's going to go all the way to Planet X
12:42and then come back.
12:44I'm going to tie this rope to this guy.
12:49Yeah.
12:49Do you reckon that'll fully light on fire, right?
12:52What, 30 matches all bunched together?
12:54Yes.
12:55Then I'm going to tie it to that tree,
12:57then the gravity will make the thong go down.
13:00Right.
13:01So what knot is this?
13:03Well, I kind of just figured if I tied it a bunch around the tree...
13:08Yeah.
13:09I'm ready to go set him off.
13:12OK.
13:14What's the plan here?
13:15I'll light him on fire,
13:18and then that will help shoot him off like a rocket.
13:20OK.
13:21I'm actually, like, shaking at the thought of doing this.
13:25Oh, there we go.
13:26All right.
13:27Are we ready to take flight?
13:30Oh.
13:31Oh, come on.
13:43Come on.
13:44Come on.
13:46Yeah.
13:47Let's go.
13:49Go.
13:49Oh, wait.
13:50It's going down, sort of.
13:52Is it?
13:53All right.
13:54There we go.
13:54OK.
13:56And then he's off.
13:57Time's up.
14:12You've really burnt that.
14:13Yeah, don't read that in.
14:14That's sexually toxic.
14:15Danielle, I feel like if you were part of the NASA program
14:20and you had to put man on the moon,
14:22you'd be like, let's do craft.
14:24That's sort of what science is, I think.
14:26Oh, craft?
14:27You just get to light shit on fire and be like,
14:29oh, what's going to happen?
14:31Probably more fire.
14:32Are we going to accept CGI?
14:35How do we feel about that?
14:36I feel pretty good about it.
14:39We're going to make the leap of CGI
14:40and pretend that your thong went to Planet X.
14:44First of all, we have to know Planet X exists.
14:46It does exist.
14:47Tom, it does exist, right?
14:49Not necessarily.
14:50What do you mean?
14:51It's still a thing.
14:53Danielle, I hate to tell you,
14:56the scientific community thinks that Planet X
14:58is simply a hypothetical concept.
15:02Oh, so you pretended to make your thong
15:04go to a hypothetical concept.
15:07How far away is a hypothetical concept
15:09when you're pretending?
15:11Zero metres.
15:12Oh, OK.
15:14That's rough.
15:17Nina, do you think your string was, like,
15:19downhill or horizontal?
15:21Because it's a fine line between a flying fox
15:23and just hanging something on a clothesline.
15:27I also think there wasn't enough weight on the thong.
15:29Like, if the thong was weight...
15:30Like, maybe I should have jumped off with the thong.
15:34And I would have won and also died.
15:37Nina's flew 9.12 metres.
15:39OK.
15:40Let's wrap up this task with one more, shall we?
15:42We saved the best till last, or the worst.
15:45Actually, quite often we do leave the worst till last.
15:48Let's find out which this one is.
15:49It's Julia Morris.
15:53Why?
15:54Do you know what I'm saying?
15:59No.
16:02In the fly.
16:03So now I can just go as far as I want.
16:05OK.
16:06And now it's flying.
16:07OK.
16:09Where are we going?
16:09See you later.
16:13I'm going to take you cross-country, babe.
16:15Watch out for your right.
16:15And it is technically flying.
16:19I'm not touching it.
16:20I think I'm going to go cross-country again, Tom.
16:23OK.
16:25All right, I'm still going.
16:27Woo!
16:27Didn't touch it.
16:29I tell you what.
16:30Wish I was fitter.
16:32I want to go further.
16:33But I feel it's going to fall out of my fly.
16:38I'm still going.
16:38I think the running ruined it.
16:40Woo!
16:43I think the song's going to flop.
16:45This is the...
16:46Ah!
16:46Ah!
16:53Was this genius or just loose word association?
16:56Oh, very, very loose.
16:59Yeah.
17:00Now, if you're looking for genius,
17:01you can go to any of these other people,
17:03I'm not on that location.
17:05Because, honestly,
17:06I've said it before and I'll say it again,
17:07every single task that I did,
17:08I was just trying to make go quickly
17:10so we'd get an early mark.
17:12I really like that interpretation.
17:14I think that works.
17:15I think it can't be faulted, can it?
17:18It was in the fly.
17:19Would you like to know how far the thong travelled?
17:23269 metres.
17:24Wow!
17:26That means Danielle is on one point,
17:28Nina has two,
17:29Jimmy three,
17:29Luke on four,
17:30and the winner of the task
17:31is Julia with five points.
17:35Well, I think this is a great point for us.
17:37Can we get an update on our scores thus far?
17:40The winner thus far in the episode
17:42is Luke with eight points.
17:47Luke the dark horse,
17:48and by dark horse,
17:49I mean fair horse.
17:51Tom Cashman,
17:52give me another task.
17:53As you request.
17:55Here's our first team task of the season.
17:57Oh.
17:57Oh.
18:12Hey there.
18:13Hey.
18:13Hello.
18:14How are you?
18:15Not too bad.
18:16Long time, no see.
18:17oh my god did you do that no was that part of did you do that would you know a fun fact about today
18:38oh my god do we open the task now i think are we mad if we don't let's all do it at the same time okay
18:51okay we should do it okay thank you my sweet no worries transform into triplets into twins most
18:58convincing transformation wow the most convincing transformation wins you have 30 minutes
19:08transformation goes back to the start you we transform no we transformation wins time starts
19:15watch his finger watch what he does oh he controls how can we not how can we not now
19:21i'm already getting improv troupe vibes from one of the teams and i don't care for it
19:32we'll watch those teams transform right after this show temporarily transforms into a vessel
19:37for brands to flog their wares see you after the ad
19:41welcome back to taskmaster as five top-tier comedians battle to win a treasure map that leads to no money
20:00tom cashman vibe check oh the vibes are pretty good
20:04basically the task is to transform into twins or triplets and the best transformation wins
20:10okay which team is transforming for us first it's julia and danielle
20:15come on i think i need a wig i reckon there we go yeah yeah that's good i mean actually we got to do
20:26that thing where you like finish each other's sentences yeah yes exactly exactly exactly perfect
20:32and do you know what what i'm loving just having the same thoughts at all times oh yeah can you prove
20:38that you're having the same thought well um what i'm thinking about now is um golden retrievers yes
20:45and you were both thinking that you were both thinking about and you're not just saying that
20:49because she said golden retrievers well how are we supposed to aggressive and it's accusational okay
20:54so i just wanted to apologize but i'd love to stand in front like a family snap do you know what
20:59i mean put his hand like it's a dad with his hand like that's he's our dad he's got his butt he's got
21:08we must be running out of time oh i love it when he does the whistle i'm not gonna lie
21:12yeah do you think you twinned well um i think we're the very essence of twins
21:22so beautiful beautiful i'm just imagining you as my twins i think i'd be quite proud
21:27yeah i think you did a great job what do you think we're lovely girls we looked identical dream
21:32boat dream boat i don't know what else you're looking for well if you were my twins i'd know
21:36which one was my favorite um i'll leave that unsaid is it fair to say twins are born minutes apart not
21:43decades we're talking multiple decades okay well i think they did a great job and it's a great photo at
21:51the end uh let's birth our triplet shall we here's luke nina and jimmy the other team's probably doing
21:58the same thing we are which is like we wear the same outfit what's a little twist we can put on it
22:03we could become a triplet as in like the musical notes triplet like a triplet with this three
22:10of those yes with a line on the top let's do that let's do that let's get the instruments
22:14what if we hold an egg up to our face like like this like the egg is our face the egg have three
22:19egg heads and then we make like tom solver riddle we are the eggs three oh yeah sorry oh my blanket's
22:26fallen off and my eggs and i am the scrambled we are the eggs three you must answer these three riddles
22:40first riddle what is your name uh tom thank you you have passed the first test second riddle how many
22:58times has the moon had an aneurysm uh zero times
23:10oh he's correct again we've got a brainiac over here third riddle final riddle who did
23:19the time who did the what who did the time who did the time who did the time who did the time who did
23:27the time who did the time god
23:34correct i mean correct correct get out of the den
23:40oh see ya thank you for everything
23:49it was going so well and then the sheet fell off and that really wrecked it
23:52uh what was that uh isn't it obvious that was the famous eggs three um from from legend so if you
24:02use danielle's map that's where you get led to so i think it's pretty clear it was
24:08can you tell us in detail why should we describe why it's bad with one word each like the triplet
24:15yeah it was oh bad because it sucked
24:25couldn't think in triplet form
24:31god oh it's happening again i think the three of you demonstrated what happens if you're too supportive
24:37of each other and you're in a group where there's no bad ideas it means that they're all bad ideas
24:44okay time for some scores oh before we move on to the scores there's one other component to this
24:49task that i think we should see oh yes the most convincing transformation wins you have 30 minutes
24:55also you must choreograph a beautiful dance to perform at the end of every team task you have
25:02five additional minutes for your beautiful dance choreography five six seven and a one two three
25:22plump oh i love it
25:28looking forward to seeing our one yeah i think your one's going to be amazing oh there's no one for the
25:32other team what yeah it's just an extra treat for us there's no points given for that that's just
25:42that's so rude there are more team tasks coming up too so let's just say that's not the last
25:46beautiful macarena we're going to be seeing oh that's so bad i can't believe you did that to us
25:52i can all right time for some scores the triplets were shit the twins were good
25:58so the triplets get one each okay and the twins get five each all right you've all got a few minutes
26:11to choreograph a lovely little dance of your own at home don't film it don't send it to me we'll be
26:16back with more taskmaster right after this
26:29welcome back to taskmaster where five comedians are battling it out to win jimmy reese phone
26:35tom cashman are we ready for another task for this one it's cricket time
26:52yeah oh sorry it's me
26:55tom jimmy i'm ready to to task where is it uh oh there it is oh look at this
27:05cricket ball classic six stitcher a classic what six stitcher all right okay perform the most
27:12passionate cricket appeal most passionate cricket appeal wins you have 20 minutes to prepare your appeal
27:19your appeal starts when the ball hits the pads your time starts now i have a problem which is i don't
27:29know what cricket appeal is is it like the most sexy cricketer like the most appealing cricketer
27:40to any viewers who are worried because you don't know much about cricket
27:44do not be concerned you are not alone how's that
27:54i don't get it this is going to go down well with the australian public you got some cricket
28:00appeals to show me then i won't make a cricket joke because she wouldn't understand it here's danielle
28:05walker what's a cricket appeal an appeal is the act of a player on the fielding team
28:13asking an umpire for a decision regarding whether a batter is out or not batter is out or not so
28:18you've got to be angry that the batter's done something wrong i saw something behind the shed
28:21what did you see behind the shed a big thing that you wouldn't be able to use if you were a batter
28:26my nana's gonna be so disappointed she loves cricket so i throw this at you and then and then i'll try
28:33and hit hit it with this yeah can we superimpose my head over the top of me be then i'll be you okay
28:39pretending i'm angry about him if you can move your hands like you're arguing and then we
28:43superimpose my face onto you again okay yeah
28:55dude ref that's so naughty you can't hit with that big bat that's that's illegal that bad it's not used
29:01for this game that's a big circus freak game get him off this is proper christmas cricket
29:09the big bash the test get it off the it's not allowed that bad it's illegal um
29:18get it out of here the appeal's done get him off
29:23who's the most famous australian cricketer of all time oh that man he died when i was in school
29:33and um everybody loved him it was his name b b bob bob bob bob bob what's you know him bob
29:39they called him the green the green hat the green the floppy green the floppy the baggy the baggy
29:46green what's his name don bradman that's it it's not bob it's don oh yeah i got it
29:53who couldn't forget that australian legend the green hat
30:02bob bob bob bradman i knew it said with three letters you know i looked it up yeah and don bradman
30:07when he was born his name before he changed it before he got famous was robert bob for short
30:13really no
30:21that's rude okay i think you didn't know what an appeal was because your appeal
30:26was over the batsman using the wrong bat that's what you're upset about yeah i think tom said that
30:32a fieldsman gets angry when the batter does something yes and so i figured well if i was a
30:37i'd be pretty angry yeah they had all that surface area but in a game of cricket you wouldn't have to
30:44go how's that and then the umpire would go that's not a cricket bat they could tell as soon as they
30:49walked out onto the pitch that's a giant croquet mallet go back to the pavilion all right who's running
30:56in next i'm still not tempted to make a cricket reference she's even less familiar with it than
31:01danielle it's nina oyama okay in cricket how far is a batter out how far is the batter yeah like if
31:10someone were to stand in like out zone can someone hold this bat and stand next to the tree this like
31:16perfect little tree over here i feel like all of australia is going to be mad at me for not knowing
31:22cricket yes umpire tom have you made your decision as to whether the batter is in or out
31:34what if i do this and this and this have you made a decision as to whether the batter is in or out
31:43yet no excuse me mr umpire i'm passionately making a plea an appeal to your heart have you
31:52made a decision as to whether the batter is in or out yet yes the batter is out
32:00and why is he out he's over there he's over there and c
32:11um why do you have sunnies on now because i'm scared
32:16well it's a lot to take in well i did make an appeal to the cricket master or whatever
32:22that's the term is in the cricket world okay who's next tom cashman it's not this guy's first
32:29time playing the field here is luke mcgregor what are you thinking i feel like i don't know like i need
32:36like someone to say how's that too otherwise it's just me and pants this guy's the bird so this guy
32:42can be the wicker keeper okay i guess so now i need some fielders um and i've had a thought
32:48okay now i need some uh rope or string rope or string yeah oh the bats part of the string yeah because
32:58he's gonna have a swing at it and then he's gonna dive to try and catch it the fielder dives between
33:02the bowler and the batsman one of the beauties of sport is that it's unpredictable 100 yeah
33:12no but i hit the starts the appeal starts when the ball hits the pads oh the ball hits the pads
33:28okay uh where's the where's the ball it's okay i've got an idea okay i've got it yeah i've got a pair
33:34how's that yeah suck it
33:50hang on so how you play cricket is you get a giraffe and a knight and then you pull a bit of string to be
33:56fair nina i don't think you've earned the right to be sarcastic about someone else's attempt to play
34:00cricket luke uh what what were you attempting there well i thought if i tied all the string to the to
34:08the knight and the giraffe the bat would move and then it would hit the pad and then the giraffe would
34:13look like the giraffe was going for the catch what actually happened is i got tangled up in the string
34:19and then got and then we ran out of time okay yeah so why'd you kick over the giraffe i was angry at
34:26it for not participating at least it was starting to resemble cricket i suppose so i think the thing
34:33with luke's is there's a lot of extraneous stuff and the passion of the appeal was what we need to
34:37be measuring so i've actually prepared a shorter video that just shows the passion of the appeal
34:42we probably don't have time for that i think here it is how's that
34:47really fires you up doesn't it time for me to make an appeal to our audience at home please come
34:58back pretend that streaming doesn't exist we're taking a break see you soon with more terrible
35:04cricket on class master look i know you're watching it now but how about watching more later catch
35:16every moment of triumph and utter humiliation of taskmaster australia with full episodes at 10
35:21play dot com dot au or the temp welcome back to class master we're not far away from knowing
35:32who will walk away with a big pile of worms and we're trying to find out by playing australia's
35:38favorite game that's right we're talking cricket our task is to do the most passionate appeal forget
35:44jimmy cricket it's jimmy playing cricket are you a cricket fan i do like cricket yeah i was not good
35:52at it i played it when i was younger until about 14 and then there was some behemoth it was probably
35:57brett lee showed up one week and i was next in to bat the next week and i said to dad i'm not playing
36:03anymore you didn't go i didn't go the next week and he would have been 25 foot tall david and goliath
36:09is what it is if david didn't show up to the battle if if david just ran which there's a valid
36:15point next into bat is 14 year old behemoth man from jimmy's past
36:32might not remember me but i remember you
36:39oh you may run from a fight and live a long and prosperous life
36:50but revenge is way sweeter and stuff i'm gonna count it now i don't know why you're holding on to this
36:57golden ducky yes come on next into bat actual brett lee damn
37:15jimmy that was very disorienting having you knowing how to play cricket after all we've been through
37:20but i've got to say that was amazing i mean it had everything you played cricket uh you actually
37:27got someone out you had a traumatic back story the appeal was full of passion it was for a legitimate
37:34reason i can't fault it there was there was no giraffe
37:40what would you say to behemoth boy if he's watching the show now well i'd say look who's grown a
37:46pair now all right who've we got next i find this contestant a little bit intimidating nothing to
37:54do with cricket but it's true here's julia morris perform the most passionate cricket appeal so by
38:01appeal are you talking about fundraiser your appeal starts when the ball hits the pads i mean
38:09is that the time starting now just hit the pads or do you want me to bowl it your appeal has begun the
38:13ball has hit the pads oh i'm in it oh gosh hi i'm julian morris i think it's really suffering right
38:20now what would be really nice is for all of these really highly paid athletes just to get paid a
38:24little bit more especially the female cricketers who are obviously going to be ah a lot less
38:30please ring the number now on your screen and give as much as you can cricket needs it please give generously
38:38that's how you do it when you don't have any knowledge of cricket oh but sir i have much
38:46knowledge of cricket i grew up in a big cricket house well i think it was like uh a great use of
38:52the word appeal but unfortunately i think you approach the appeal with all the passion you've
38:55approached all your other commercial endorsements you kind of phoned it in no that's it absolutely
39:00it's a signature move i know you just like you just went straight into presenter mode and did the
39:05bare minimum i'm happy to forgo the fact that a lot of you did not know about cricket and just base
39:11it purely on passion uh so nina's on one because you're it was the whole thing was all over the
39:17shot but you just were like hello can you please make the person out luke your appeal wasn't very
39:23passionate and then julia i liked what you did but it had all the passion of a paid for presentation so
39:28three danielle you're on four because there was heaps of passion but a bit too much cgi but uh on five
39:35is jimmy reese what has that done to our episode scoreboard tonight winning the episode currently
39:44it's danielle with 15 points all right everything to play for off your bums and up on the stage it's
39:54time for a live task oh it's as intriguing a setup as i've ever seen uh what's going on julia could
40:05you please read the task convince the task master that you deserve five points you must use a method
40:13from one of the paddles when you are finished convincing place your paddle in the paddling pool
40:19the least convincing contestant in each round is eliminated you will have 10 seconds each per round
40:27the last player standing wins nina i'm gonna do this one in a foreign language taskmaster san uh five
40:36points kurasai arigato casually mention uh yeah yeah that's interesting also if you've got five
40:44points right around i'll i'll take him but you know what if i don't care if you don't what it wouldn't
40:52simmy in character as the taskmaster's wife i know all the funny business all right i know you
40:59you bring home the bacon all right but i'll be having the five points okay you're the stupid guy
41:03but i get i get the points all right we know who wears the pants hey taskmaster
41:10julia has chosen seductively
41:15that was supposed to
41:22puppy dog eyes
41:32danielle you're done
41:39nina passionately plea using words that start with p please pimp p five points
41:46i would really appreciate pimp
41:54degrade yourself i'm a real piece of i don't deserve five points
42:01i should even be here i don't even i don't think i'm even holding this sign very well uh
42:07in song one two three four five give me the points and you feel you're alive yeah
42:19in the morning and even in the evening and even right now on the taskmaster seat yeah
42:26making a promise you must then keep taskmaster um i've got friends that know your family so
42:32if i don't know if i don't get the five points i'm gonna drive my vehicle
42:38in the pool in the pool so nina you're done
42:44you're done
42:45you're done
42:47Silently suggest.
42:54I went to whisper and then I realised it's silently.
42:58I can't say anything.
42:59Yeah.
42:59So I just stood there next to Tom and panicked.
43:03Politely asked.
43:04Why'd it take so long for someone to choose that one?
43:07Hello Tom Gleeson, Taskmaster, standing right in front of me.
43:10Could I please have five points?
43:13Cool, calm and collected.
43:15I haven't actually asked for the five points in any of the ones so far
43:18because I can't work out what ten seconds is.
43:20So I'd really love the points if there's a possibility.
43:25Give me a start.
43:27Don't milk it, sit down.
43:29Firmly demand.
43:30Tom, you piece of shit, give me five points.
43:36Julia has one panel remaining and it says desperately beg.
43:41Tom, I'm going to die before all these people.
43:45It's quite as easy as all the five points.
43:48That will give me a lot of self-esteem that I've lost since my divorce.
43:57It's tricky to split the two.
43:59Julia was very convincing,
44:00but I feel like Julia was acting within her specialty,
44:03whereas I think Luke actually asserting himself
44:06was way outside his comfort zone.
44:08So I'm making Luke the winner of that task.
44:15All right, well, for the most part,
44:16I didn't really appreciate being spoken to that way.
44:18Let's come back after the break and see the final scores.
44:20Welcome back to Taskmaster,
44:34the best show on Network 10 since whatever was on before it.
44:38How's it looking, Tom?
44:39Well, our live task saw Danielle take home one point,
44:42Nina two, Jimmy three, Julia four,
44:45and the winner of the live task was Luke with five points.
44:50Which means the winner of this episode
44:52is Julia Morris with 18 points.
44:58Congratulations to Julia.
45:01You'll rest easy for eternity
45:03knowing you're buried with five very desirable items.
45:06A shovel, a phone and some worms are coming your way.
45:10Get on stage and take them to your grave.
45:17And that's us, another episode down.
45:20Tonight we learnt that thongs, for the most part,
45:23are bound to the earth by the laws of physics.
45:25We learnt the answers to three of the most complex riddles
45:28ever devised by three eggs.
45:31And we didn't learn a single thing
45:33about the actual rules of cricket.
45:35Most importantly, however,
45:37we learnt our episode three winner is Julia.
45:40Tell them that you deserve it.
45:43Peace and love to all.
45:45We'll be back next week.
45:47Look it up.
46:02We're going in.
46:03I don't think the show's going to get much hornier than that.
46:12Tom, am I moving in the right direction?
46:16Tom?
46:16We're going in.
46:17We're going in.
46:18We'll be right back next week.