Taskmaster AU Season 01 Episode 09
Fabulous Taskmaster Tom Gleeson puts five funny folk to the test, with Julia Morris, Luke McGregor, Jimmy Rees, Nina Oyama and Danielle Walker undergoing a range of ridiculous tasks for our amusement.
Fabulous Taskmaster Tom Gleeson puts five funny folk to the test, with Julia Morris, Luke McGregor, Jimmy Rees, Nina Oyama and Danielle Walker undergoing a range of ridiculous tasks for our amusement.
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FunTranscript
00:00This is the best day of my life.
00:30Yes, hello, welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:39I'm Tom Gleeson and it's my job to watch comedians do things
00:42and decide who is good and who is the opposite of good.
00:45In one week, one of the desperate comedians sitting before me
00:49will take their career to new heights
00:51and win this golden Tom Gleeson-shaped head,
00:54which they get to put in their living rooms
00:56and imagine what it's like to have me come and visit.
01:00Competing for Glory this week and every week,
01:03it's our season one cast.
01:05Daniel Walker.
01:07Jimmy Rees.
01:09Julian Morris.
01:11Luke McGregor.
01:13And Nina Ryama.
01:17It's impossible to Taskmaster alone.
01:20I've got help.
01:21I'm pretty sure there's trouble at home and he lives in the studio.
01:24It's Tom Cashman.
01:25What's our prize pass tonight?
01:30Tonight, our contestants have been requested to bring
01:33what they consider to be the most desirable runny thing.
01:36The best one will receive five points,
01:38second best four points and so on.
01:40And the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five runny things.
01:44Jimmy, what have you brought in?
01:45It is the jam from inside a carnival donut.
01:50Oh, look at it.
01:54Yum.
01:54Oh, OK.
01:55So you're going for the desirableness of it.
01:57Yeah.
01:58Well, it looks quite viscous.
01:59It doesn't seem that runny.
02:00Only, like, on one side it's run out of the donut
02:02and on the other side it's staying put.
02:04Oh, it's a still image.
02:05It's like...
02:06Oh, OK.
02:08It's about to run.
02:09Like, obviously, that side's had a head start.
02:11It's usually hot and runny.
02:14OK.
02:15Nina, what have you got?
02:16Well, I brought in something that's the most desirable runny thing for me,
02:19who's someone that often has IBS and gets constipated.
02:23So I brought in a microlax.
02:26But it was given to me as a gift when I was constipated by Danielle Walker.
02:32That is true.
02:33I'll pack these when I'm going travelling
02:35because on a plane flight I'll eat the food
02:37and then I won't be able to shit.
02:39Where on the plane do you do that?
02:41You don't do that on the plane.
02:42You said you just did.
02:43This isn't my prize task.
02:45I don't have to sell this.
02:46What have you brought in, Danielle?
02:49I brought in the icing that you lick off beaters.
02:52Oh, OK.
02:52Oh, that looks very desirable.
02:55It looks lovely.
02:57But doesn't it set, though?
02:58Not when it's on the beaters.
03:00It sets when you put it in the fridge.
03:01When you're licking it off the beaters,
03:02that is runny as shit.
03:06I think you've brought in a Vienna cream.
03:08And a Vienna cream is quite turgid.
03:11You know, you'll judge this however you want, Tom,
03:12and I'm happy for you to do that.
03:13Really?
03:15Like always.
03:15OK, great.
03:17Julia, what did you bring in?
03:19Last year I had the beef in my eyes cut out.
03:22So not only is the results have been desirable,
03:25the eyelids are now, after the year since the surgery,
03:30they have become quite runny.
03:31So here they are.
03:32It looks like Danielle's icing.
03:35Yeah.
03:36Why did you keep them?
03:37Were you thinking you might have to put them back?
03:38You never know.
03:40Sometimes I'm scared I look too young.
03:41Oh, and you don't want to intimidate the others with you.
03:43Yeah.
03:44No, I can't be hanging around all my other 55-year-old buddies,
03:47you know, looking whatever, 54.
03:49Oh, and you don't want to be hanging around all my other people.
03:51Luke.
03:52Um, I've really misunderstood the task, I think.
03:55Um, I, uh, I brought in runners.
03:59LAUGHTER
04:00Why are they desirable?
04:02They look like they're desirable to you.
04:03Maybe not for me.
04:04You prefer to run without runners?
04:06No, I prefer fashion.
04:08LAUGHTER
04:08Well, I mean, they're pretty, uh...
04:11No.
04:12They're the...
04:12LAUGHTER
04:13LAUGHTER
04:14They are pretty, um, no.
04:20All right, so you want us to accept that they are runny
04:23and that you run in them?
04:25Yeah, yeah, please.
04:26OK, so I'm going to accept the wordplay from Luke.
04:28I think shoes are very runny.
04:29Yes.
04:29But I hated the shoes, so one point.
04:31LAUGHTER
04:31LAUGHTER
04:32Um, it's just purely down to the fact
04:35I find the shoes not desirable at all.
04:37The laxative enema, again, it's very desirable.
04:40No, it's not.
04:41Yes, it is!
04:42LAUGHTER
04:43I'm going to give Nina two points.
04:45Julia, your eyelids themselves aren't that runny.
04:48Not at all.
04:48So I'm going to give you three points.
04:49Danielle, very desirable,
04:51but it wasn't actually that runny in consistency,
04:53whereas Jimmy's was tasty and very runny.
04:55So five points to Jimmy.
04:57LAUGHTER
04:57Four points to Danielle.
04:59That means Jimmy takes an early lead
05:02and now we move from something runny
05:03into something a bit more solid, like a task.
05:05Oh, my God.
05:19Oh, my God.
05:20Tom?
05:22Where art thou, Tom?
05:24Oh, new Tom.
05:27Hi, I'm Joel.
05:29Nice to meet you.
05:30Pleasure.
05:31I'm sorry that Tom must have obviously died
05:33and he's been replaced.
05:35Are you a scientist?
05:36Indeed I am.
05:37You're not just, like, a guy with a lab coat on
05:39that, like, came in from the outside?
05:42This is all real.
05:43And is your American accent real?
05:45Also real.
05:46That says crazy.
05:47Is that kind of a good American accent?
05:49That was awful.
05:50Where are you from in America, Joel?
05:51Minnesota.
05:52What is the defining feature of Minnesota?
05:55Prince.
05:57Like, poor Prince?
05:59Like the artist formerly known as.
06:01Oh.
06:02Prince, Prince.
06:04Make this doctor look like a fool.
06:06You didn't say you were a doctor, Joel.
06:08Dr. Joel.
06:09You may not touch the doctor.
06:12You may not hurt the doctor.
06:14Who's hurting the doctor?
06:15Why would anyone want to hurt you, Joel?
06:18You'd be surprised.
06:19You may ask any question of the doctor.
06:20Except about his personal life.
06:22You have eight minutes.
06:23Most made to look a fool doctor wins.
06:26Your time starts now.
06:30Ooh.
06:31OK.
06:33OK, so they've got to make him look like a fool.
06:36That's right.
06:36He's studied for eight years to make himself a respectable member of society,
06:40and these contestants have eight minutes to ruin it.
06:42OK, let's get into it then.
06:44Jimmy, Danielle and Julia, the doctor, will see you now.
06:47Where's your stethoscope?
06:48I am not that kind of doctor.
06:50Oh, are you a doctor of brainy stuff?
06:51I have a PhD in chemistry.
06:53So that's, like, chemicals.
06:54That is exactly correct.
06:57Name three Australian spreads.
07:01Vegemite, jam, margarine.
07:05Good.
07:06I think there's probably only one tool in the room,
07:08and you are sitting beside it.
07:11Let's talk glowworms.
07:14Glowworms.
07:14How do they become glowing?
07:16Well, it's basically a chemical reaction
07:17where we are exciting an electron to a higher state,
07:20but it has a much lower relaxation than, say, fluorescence,
07:23hence why they can still glow when there is no light source.
07:27So chemical reaction makes photons happen.
07:32Great.
07:33Do you know anything about photosynthesis?
07:35Yeah, I've heard of the concept.
07:37Do you know what all the letters and the numbers and the fractions are?
07:40Relative to what?
07:43CO2 plus H2O, sunlight over chlorophyll,
07:47C6H12O6 plus oxygen O2.
07:51It seems a little foolish that I can remember that,
07:54and you have not retained that.
07:55What is the capital city of Australia?
07:58Canberra.
07:59Mm-hmm.
08:00Science isn't really about knowing things,
08:02it's about learning things.
08:03Yes.
08:04So I wouldn't feel like a fool if I didn't know something,
08:06but if I didn't try to learn it, then I would.
08:08My question to you is, how long is eight minutes?
08:12You have a PhD in chemistry.
08:14Um, in...
08:17I'm going to stick with the Australian things.
08:18What do you know about carnivorous plants?
08:20They're hungry.
08:21What are your favourite types?
08:22The Venus flytrap.
08:23Do you know any others?
08:25Off the top of my head.
08:27Boo.
08:28Never heard of a frickin' sundew, dude.
08:31You ever know of a nepenthes?
08:33Maw, maw.
08:34Name three Australian comedians.
08:40Jimmy.
08:41And their last names...
08:43You look like a Nelson.
08:44Jimmy Nelson.
08:45M.
08:46Tom Cashman.
08:47Debatable.
08:48And I think that's it, actually.
08:50Mm-hmm.
08:51OK.
08:52That's...
08:52OK.
08:53Do you have a pen on you?
08:54So I'm just going to change this a little bit.
08:56You may touch the doctor.
08:58You may hurt the doctor.
08:59I could ask you.
09:00Hey.
09:01Oh, yeah.
09:01Thank God.
09:02What I was going to do is get to the bit where it just says,
09:04make yourself look like a fool.
09:06And if I haven't f***ing nailed that,
09:07I don't know what else I'm doing here.
09:09Jimmy Nelson.
09:10Out.
09:13You're putting a solid effort there,
09:14trying to make them look foolish.
09:16I particularly like Danielle.
09:18You decided to ask how glowworms glow.
09:21That was a very interesting strategy,
09:22asking a chemist about chemistry.
09:26Danielle spent more than 30% of her time
09:28keenly learning about glowworms.
09:30Jimmy, you wanted him to know three Australian comedians.
09:35I figured he would have actually seen three people by then.
09:40I'm pretty sure Luke and Nina were before me
09:42and he didn't name them.
09:43Well, he could have also mentioned some
09:44that were internationally famous, I guess,
09:46like Dame Edna Everidge or Paul Hogan.
09:48Exactly, yeah.
09:48Or even Rolf Harris, just for a bit of spice.
09:52Julia, the task was to make the doctor look like a fool,
09:55but you just spent a lot of time telling him
09:57how you were dumber than him.
09:59Except he didn't know photosynthesis.
10:02Don't you think it's a bit odd
10:03that I knew something grown up and he didn't?
10:06Not really, because you needed to sing a silly song
10:08to remember it.
10:09Well, I can do it for you now without the song.
10:11Oh, OK.
10:11You've got your H2O2 plus H2O,
10:12then you've got your sunlight over your chlorophyll,
10:15then you've got your C6, your H12 and your O6 plus oxygen
10:18is your photosynthesis,
10:20which is your water and your food molecules
10:22moving through the xylem and the phloem of the plant,
10:25feeding the plant normally from an area of a higher concentration
10:29to an area of lower concentration.
10:31Wow.
10:32That's very impressive.
10:33You know what?
10:34He's probably watching at home now
10:39and he's probably feeling really, really foolish.
10:42All right, stethoscope's down.
10:44We're taking a break.
10:45We'll be back with more Doctor Fooling right after this.
10:48Welcome back to Classmaster,
11:01the only show that dares to answer
11:03one of life's unanswerable questions.
11:06Are comedians smarter than doctors?
11:07Tom Cashman, where are we at?
11:09Our contestants are attempting to make a real-life doctor
11:11look like a fool.
11:13I'm ready for more Doctor Fooling.
11:14What have you got?
11:15He's got a PhD.
11:16Can they make it stand for Pretty Huge Dimwit?
11:19It's Luke and Nina.
11:21Can you sit on this, please?
11:23It seems pretty dangerous.
11:24I'll do it.
11:25I'll do it as well.
11:28Can you please do that on yours?
11:30Man, you look so foolish.
11:31Can't see myself losing this challenge.
11:34Knock, knock.
11:34Who's there?
11:36I did up.
11:37I did a poo.
11:38Ew, you did a poo?
11:40Gross.
11:41Knock, knock.
11:42Who's there?
11:44I ate up.
11:45I ate a poo.
11:47You ate a poo?
11:49Gross.
11:50Can you assume like a stretching pose like this?
11:53Once I start talking.
11:55We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a wonderful...
11:58Sarah, would you please stop stretching at the funeral?
12:00Knock, knock.
12:02Who's there?
12:03All I think about is poo.
12:06All I think about is poo?
12:09All you think about is poo?
12:11Like clearly, because you keep bringing it up.
12:15We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a beautiful...
12:18Sarah, would you get that chew off your head, please?
12:20We're at a funeral.
12:21Knock, knock.
12:23Who's there?
12:23Pee-pee-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo.
12:30Pee-pee-poo-poo-poo.
12:31Pee-pee-poo-poo.
12:33Pee-pee-poo-poo.
12:34Pee-pee-poo-poo.
12:35Who?
12:36Sorry, you messed that one up because it ended on a...
12:38Can you just try that one more time?
12:40As I was saying, we mourn the loss of the...
12:43Sarah, would you please don't give me the finger?
12:45I'm trying to do a eulogy here.
12:46Pee-pee-poo-poo.
12:48Pee-pee-poo-poo.
12:50No, no, see, that's why you're wrong.
12:52Guess we're just gonna have to do it again.
12:54Loser.
12:54Sir, please.
12:55We're trying to mourn the loss of someone here.
12:57Do you think I'm funny?
12:58No, trick question.
13:00Pee-pee-poo-poo time.
13:02Poop-ee-poop-ee-poop-ee-poop-ee, yummy-poop-ee, in my tummy-tummy.
13:09I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to talk.
13:11Our task is over, so you're in.
13:12You can, you can, okay.
13:14What do you mean, say?
13:16All day again.
13:20Poo-poo-poo.
13:21She did get with us a hand.
13:27Nanny, you were jumping up and down there, chanting,
13:29poopy, poopy, poopy.
13:30Did you forget you were trying to make him look foolish?
13:32I really feel like since my prize task was poo-related,
13:35and then they showed this task,
13:36that it's gonna show that I have a real fixation on pee-pee and poo-poo.
13:39Well, to be fair, I think you did make him look foolish.
13:41You made a, you know, a professional doctor say over and over again,
13:45pee-pee, pee-pee, poo-pee, poo-pee, poo-pee, and he looked really stupid.
13:48Luke, by making the doctor do an improv scene,
13:50already everyone looked like a fool, so that was a...
13:53The reason I thought of it is because I was at a funeral once,
13:56and a guy, a guy was sitting there like this.
14:01And I'm like, there's gotta be some sort of poses you can't do at funerals,
14:05and that's gotta be one of them.
14:06You wouldn't go up to someone and have your foot on a chair
14:09and go, I'm sorry for your loss.
14:15I think Jimmy's on one point.
14:18Yeah.
14:19OK, cos just, you embarrassed him by making him name
14:22two Australian comedians instead of three.
14:24Daniel's on two.
14:25OK.
14:26Julia, I'm happy to give three points because you did no photosynthesis.
14:29Four points to Luke for making him look like an absolute idiot at a funeral,
14:33and five points to Nina Ayama for making highly qualified doctor
14:37say poopy, poopy, poopy, poopy, poopy, over and over again.
14:40So, with those points added, how's our scoreboard looking after that?
14:44So, we've got a three-way tie with Danielle, Jimmy and Julia
14:47all on six points, but in the lead currently it's Nina with seven points.
14:50What?
14:55OK, have you got any more of those tasks lying around, Tom?
14:57Sure.
14:58This one goes out to all the toddlers.
14:59Oh, hey, fun has arrived.
15:17Hello, Tom.
15:18Hi, Jimmy.
15:19What's happening there?
15:20Oh, my God, it's a baby in a bathtub.
15:23It's pretty fun.
15:24Oh, she's crying.
15:25Why is the water coming out of the baby?
15:28Why would you do this?
15:29It's all right, baby.
15:31Let's open up the box and see what's inside.
15:38Almost forgot to read it out.
15:39I was just reading it in my head.
15:40Throw a tantrum.
15:41Most sensational tantrum wins.
15:43You have 13 minutes to plan.
15:46And execute your tantrum.
15:49Rightio.
15:50What does the last line say?
15:51Your time starts now.
15:53I'm thrilled for the time to start.
15:54But if you keep making fun of me every time, I don't say your time starts.
16:00That's fun, King.
16:01I'm sorry.
16:07So our contestants have to throw a tantrum.
16:09To be clear, our cast threw countless other tantrums during the filming.
16:14But these are the only ones we caught on camera.
16:15Who do you have for us first?
16:17These two love to smile, but can they spew bile?
16:20It's Nina and Jimmy.
16:21I could probably just, you know, freeball a tantrum from scratch, to be honest.
16:25Got a lot of pent-up stuff going on.
16:26I'm really hungry.
16:28Tom?
16:29Tom, can you bring me a snack?
16:30Here's a healthy snack, Nina.
16:32Oh, cheers, mate.
16:33Hi, Jimmy.
16:34Here's some pasta for you.
16:36Special fusilli and macaroni style pasta.
16:40Oh.
16:42Are you trying to poison me?
16:46Where's the penne?
16:47Oh, there's no penne in it on this occasion.
16:50I don't know.
16:51One spirally pasta.
16:52I want the penne.
16:54I want the penne.
16:56I want that.
16:58Are you sure this is edible?
17:00No, no.
17:03Get it out.
17:04Get it out.
17:04Do you have anything?
17:05Not popcorn.
17:09Oh, come on.
17:10What are you whinging about?
17:11No, it's penne.
17:12I want the penne.
17:14Ah, what do you put in it?
17:16What do you put in this, Tom?
17:18This is Molly.
17:18Like, why?
17:20Ah, penne!
17:23There are the...
17:24Penne!
17:26Jimmy, do you?
17:26Penne!
17:26Why do you need two liters of milk, Tom?
17:31You think I can drink two liters of milk?
17:34You think I haven't had me to drink this much...
17:37Lactose?
17:38Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
17:40Penne!
17:41We can all be angry, okay?
17:43Penne!
17:45What is wrong with you?
17:47Penne!
17:47Here's some penne.
17:49Oh.
17:49Why are you doing this to me?
17:52Oh.
17:52It's not cooked!
17:57It's not cooked!
17:59Thanks, mate.
18:00Oh!
18:02I'm quitting a show!
18:04Good job.
18:06See you, Dad.
18:08Oh, okay.
18:10Thank you, everybody.
18:11That was my tantrum.
18:13Bye.
18:15Bye.
18:18I think it's interesting that Jimmy did a tantrum pretending to be a child,
18:21and Nina, you did a tantrum pretending to be yourself.
18:26Were you ever concerned?
18:27Were you ever accidentally drawn into her make-believe world?
18:30I feared for my life.
18:34Now, Jimmy, just how spoiled are your children?
18:36Because I feel like you were drawing on something there.
18:38The penne was a bit too specific.
18:40Is that from your life?
18:41Well, I think every child is specific.
18:43If the plate's blue and not green, or there's a bowl,
18:47or I wanted a fork, not a small fork, not a large fork,
18:50I wanted a teaspoon, but they hide all the teaspoons,
18:53you can have a fine teaspoon,
18:54and they just throw them everywhere,
18:56and you just have to get a big spoon.
18:56I think Jimmy means yes.
19:02Here's something to get really mad about.
19:04We're stopping the show for a few minutes.
19:05Not to worry, we'll be back right away with more Taskmaster.
19:08APPLAUSE
19:09Welcome back to Taskmaster.
19:23Five comedians are head-to-head in a tense battle
19:25to win some cake batter,
19:27but only one lucky licker will get to lick it.
19:30Tom Cashman, how are they going about it?
19:32Our contestants are trying to chuck a tantrum.
19:35Most Sensational Tantrum wins.
19:37You got some more tantrum moves for me?
19:39They seem lovely,
19:40but there's something very dark hiding deep inside them.
19:43At least for their sake, I hope so.
19:44It's Luke and Danielle.
19:46Most Sensational Tantrum wins.
19:48Most Sensational Tantrum wins.
19:50Sensational.
19:51That's, like, so crazy, you can't even believe it.
19:55I'm a pretty cool, calm, classic guy.
19:57I don't know how to throw a tantrum.
19:59I'm going to make this look like you.
20:01OK.
20:01And then I'm going to crack a tantrum
20:03about all your rules and regulations.
20:06We could orchestrate a fight scene.
20:08That's my tantrum.
20:09I've always wanted to choreograph a fight scene.
20:11OK.
20:12Put some evil eyes on him.
20:15OK, so if we need character backstories...
20:17OK.
20:17I'll be the hero, and you're the guy who's a...
20:20He's a shit.
20:21You're the polluter.
20:22Mr. Shit, did you say?
20:23I said piece of shit.
20:24Piece of shit.
20:25I like Mr. Shit.
20:26Mr. Shit?
20:27Well, well, well, Mr. Shit.
20:28Yeah, I can be Mr. Shit.
20:35Ah, you stole my hand like I had a spare.
20:38That'll be the start.
20:39I should throw that down, maybe?
20:40Maybe you rub it on the backside as a sign of disrespect,
20:44and then you litter it.
20:45So I'm like, I'm angry.
20:46I'm missing my third hand,
20:47and it's got bum on it,
20:50and you've littered it.
20:51You've just littered.
20:51Yeah, so that's like the trifecta.
20:53So one, two, three.
20:55And then I'm going to spin around.
20:56And you're going to block it with that one.
20:58Yeah.
20:58And then I'm going to go,
20:58and you go,
20:59and you go,
20:59and then I'll go,
21:03OK, that's good enough, I think.
21:07And then I'll go,
21:07I think that's pretty good.
21:10I think with sound effects,
21:11that's going to look real good.
21:12Well, well, well.
21:16Mr. Shit,
21:18I've heard you've changed your ways.
21:19I have.
21:20And as a show of respect,
21:22I'm going to shake your hand with my favorite hand.
21:25But don't take it off me,
21:26and don't litter,
21:27and do not wipe it on your bum.
21:28I never pollute.
21:33You son of a bitch,
21:35you've done all three things.
21:36Oh, what a productive tantrum.
21:48OK, now we just go get our Oscar.
21:52How much longer do I have?
21:5319 seconds.
21:5419 seconds.
21:55I'm going to be angry at you
21:57for all the rules.
21:59Oh.
22:01Thanks, Danielle.
22:03Well, my time's up.
22:04I thought I had 15 minutes to plan and prepare.
22:06Plan and execute.
22:07Oh, no!
22:09God damn it!
22:11Get some...
22:15Take that, Catherine.
22:17You dog.
22:18God damn it.
22:21Oh, no.
22:23I thought I...
22:24Oh, boy.
22:26Now I am real angry at you.
22:29None of this tantrum counts.
22:31Boy.
22:34That was a great tantrum, Danielle.
22:38It was the best tantrum we've seen so far.
22:41If it was in the competition, it would win.
22:44You said that you were going to rage
22:46against all the rules and regulations.
22:48Would you say the rules and regulations
22:49were victorious?
22:53Not for my mental health, no.
22:56Now, Luke, we all know a big part of a tantrum
22:58is choreographing it beforehand.
22:59It was a very tidy and organised tantrum.
23:04I feel like you didn't actually let go at any point.
23:06Yeah, I did, as the character
23:07against my arch-nemesis, Mr Shit.
23:11OK.
23:12Is there anyone left?
23:14It was the most apprehensive I've been
23:16before shooting any part of this show.
23:18Next, it's Julia Morris.
23:21What can I work my way up into?
23:22It's just been absolutely infuriating me forever.
23:25Mm.
23:26Anything that's unfair.
23:28Mm.
23:29Nothing makes me turn more
23:30than things that are unjust.
23:33I'm ready.
23:35OK.
23:36Here's my tantrum.
23:37I think it's despicable
23:40the way women get paid
23:4230% less
23:44than their male counterparts
23:46when they're working
23:47Doesn't matter which workplace you're in
23:51Women are put right down
23:54They're not allowed to really shine
23:56There's even a little glass ceiling
23:59Where you can't get higher
24:03What makes women less
24:06Than men
24:07I don't know, Tom
24:08What makes women less
24:10It's hard to say
24:11But I can tell you this
24:13That's gonna change
24:15If I had my way
24:16I would just kill all the men
24:19And have women
24:20With the top weight
24:23You wanna know why
24:25We deserve the money
24:27That 30% can help
24:29With all the maintenance
24:30Waxing
24:31Waxing costs
24:34Tanning
24:35That costs money too
24:38We get the hair dye
24:40We get the facials
24:42You have your teeth done
24:44You lift your tits up
24:45It costs money
24:47And it's simply not fair
24:52Anyone who pays us less
25:04Can't get f***ed
25:05So Julia, would this be a bad time
25:15For me to tell you
25:16That you're being paid less
25:17Than me on this production?
25:18I have absolutely no doubt
25:20About that, Tom
25:21Maybe even less
25:23Than Tom Cashner
25:23Okay, well you said
25:26A tantrum to song
25:27Can a tantrum
25:27You know, be a song?
25:29I guess I was focused
25:30On the word sensational
25:31I felt like I was
25:32Having a tantrum
25:34In my words
25:35Yes
25:35But making the entire thing
25:38Rather sensational
25:39Yes
25:40Because who wouldn't want
25:41To see themselves
25:42Like that on the television
25:43Okay, alright
25:45Well I've got to come up
25:46With some scores
25:47Don't I?
25:47Mm-hmm
25:48Straight away
25:48I feel like Danielle
25:49She's not disqualified
25:50You didn't do anything wrong
25:51There was just no tantrum
25:53That occurred in the allotted time
25:54So
25:55Yeah, it was just
25:55Carefully doing crafts
25:57Yes
25:57But I'm going to give you one point
26:00I think I've got to give Luke two
26:01Because even though I enjoyed it
26:03And found it very entertaining
26:03It was a highly organised
26:05Choreographed
26:06Rehearsed tantrum
26:07That lacked a little bit of passion
26:08Then I'm going to give
26:09Three points to Nina
26:10For an unfocused tantrum
26:11Four points to Jimmy
26:12For a very focused tantrum
26:14But I think
26:14The statement about gender equality
26:17Which you take very seriously
26:18I take it very seriously
26:19And the way that
26:20Julia Morris expressed that
26:22By talking about a pubes
26:24In a song
26:25Is to be highly commended
26:27So five points to Julia Morris
26:29Here's something to throw a tantrum about
26:35We're leaving your screens
26:36For a few minutes
26:37Sorry, that's just how television works
26:39See you soon with more Taskmaster
26:41Welcome back to the penultimate episode of Taskmaster
26:55Tom Cashman, is it time for another task?
26:57Damn straight
26:58This one is a bit of a collector's item
27:00Ooh
27:15Okay
27:16That's a lot of buckets
27:19Lovely colours
27:20I hope these are just unrelated
27:22And you're like just moving house or something
27:23Collect one of something
27:29Two of something else
27:31Three of something else
27:32Four of something else
27:34Five of something else
27:35Six of something else
27:36Do you reckon it's going to be
27:36Seven of something else next?
27:39Seven of something else
27:40Eight of something else
27:41Nine of something else
27:42Ten of something else
27:43Eleven of something else
27:43Twelve of something else
27:45Fourteen of something else
27:46So the thirteen is missing
27:47Oh, no, thirteen
27:48Did you expect me to catch that, Tom?
27:51Sixteen of something else
27:52Seven of something else
27:5318 of something else.
27:5419 of something else.
27:5520 of something else.
27:57She must bring all of your things back to the desk.
27:59Fastest wins.
28:00Time starts now.
28:01Oh, wait, wait, wait.
28:04One.
28:08Our contestants will be collecting things,
28:10197 of them to be exact.
28:13OK, and now we'll collect hundreds of thousands of fans
28:16along the way with this riveting television.
28:18Who's first?
28:19It's our three youngest contestants.
28:21Here's Jimmy, Nina, and Danielle.
28:23Oh, well, my one thing is a GoPro.
28:2620 books.
28:27There we go.
28:28There's 19 somethings, so that's 19 something else's.
28:35Oh, I haven't done my two.
28:36What if I did a poop in there?
28:38That's not appropriate.
28:39Why did I say that?
28:40Oh, there's not 13 of something on there.
28:42Don't need that.
28:44There's 20 buckets, so that's that done.
28:46Oh, two hands.
28:47Yeah.
28:48This is like moving day on Taskmaster.
28:5017, Tom.
28:54This is very smart, I think.
28:5612, 18, 16.
28:5914, 15, 17.
29:013, 8, 10 knives, Tom.
29:04I think I've done it.
29:05Stop the time, friend.
29:07Yeah, that's done.
29:09Oh, my God, there's another task?
29:13Oh, no.
29:14Return all of your things to their original location.
29:19Fastest wind.
29:20Your time starts now.
29:22I didn't even get some of this stuff off the shelf.
29:25Oh.
29:26Oh, where did these guys come from?
29:28I think it was over here.
29:29Googly eyes go in there.
29:30Matt just go in there.
29:31God dang it.
29:32What's next?
29:33Ah!
29:34Pistachio.
29:36No.
29:37Text this guy back on the shelf.
29:38That's where they were definitely on the shelf.
29:40Definitely on the shelf.
29:42I've got a pretty good memory, Tom.
29:43Is that where they were?
29:44Yes.
29:45Yes.
29:46You know we took photos.
29:47Good for you.
29:48Old ones here.
29:49Old one.
29:50Just got one there.
29:51100% sure about that.
29:52100% sure?
29:53Yeah, yeah.
29:54We're getting there.
29:55Don't have to put the ones I ate back as well.
29:57I messed this up, I think, Tom.
29:59Done.
30:16So, Danielle, you got a bit clever there and you said the 20 buckets was your 20.
30:23Is that right?
30:24Well, I don't remember.
30:25This was filmed months ago.
30:27We just watched it.
30:29I wasn't listening to myself, I was listening to the other people.
30:32Okay.
30:33Nina, you know how you're not fixated with shit?
30:37In yet another clip, just pulled out of the blue, you mentioned that you were going
30:42to do a number two in the two buckets.
30:44Yeah.
30:45That was a long time ago, guys.
30:46I've reformed.
30:47But you do realise if you did a number two in the two bucket, you'd be putting one thing
30:50in the two bucket?
30:51Not if I cut it in half.
30:56And, Jimmy, I think you were pretty quick at tidying up there, I feel.
30:59I think, yep.
31:00I collected a lot of things, 100 and whatever it was.
31:03Whether I got them back, I'm not quite sure.
31:06There were small discrepancies in where they put it back, but they all pretty much got
31:09it back where they found.
31:10Okay.
31:11Nina spent 32 minutes and 8 seconds.
31:13Danielle, 26 minutes and 27 seconds.
31:17And Jimmy took 18 minutes and 52 seconds.
31:20Ooh.
31:22You got anyone else throwing stuff into a bucket?
31:25They're the two oldest contestants.
31:27Hopefully they don't kick the bucket.
31:28It's Luke and Julia.
31:29Oh, does it have to be the same thing?
31:32All the information you get is in the tiles.
31:34I'm going to go to some of the bigger numbers first.
31:37Seven.
31:38What's that?
31:39What's this?
31:40This is these.
31:41That's...
31:42Everyone knows what this is.
31:43I reckon I can get 16 personal items.
31:45Nine drops of water.
31:47Eight.
31:48Nine.
31:49I'm a genius.
31:50Okay.
31:51That's exactly three cups.
31:52In it goes.
31:53Good job.
31:54Fifteen balloon kisses into a bucket.
31:57One.
31:58Two.
31:59Three.
32:00Four.
32:01Five.
32:02I've seen done this earlier.
32:03Six.
32:04Eleven.
32:05Actually, my favourite number.
32:07So let's fill it with something truly epic.
32:09Seventeen cracked peppers.
32:11One.
32:12Two.
32:13Three.
32:14Four.
32:15Five.
32:16Six.
32:17I'm going to fill it with 11 bits of spit.
32:18Oh, right.
32:19I bet.
32:20Yeah.
32:25Thirteen.
32:26Compliments.
32:27You're gorgeous.
32:28You're the best.
32:29You're a lovely bucket.
32:30I bet you can hold a bunch of stuff.
32:32Well, add a bit of meat in it.
32:34Never seen a bit of bucket than you.
32:37Pink is a great colour.
32:39Oh, God.
32:40I'm running out of bucket.
32:41You're very pretty.
32:42I've never had my head in a better thing.
32:51This is not amusing.
32:54Oh, no.
32:55Return all your things to the original.
32:58Oh.
32:59Well, I'm going to have to start with that while it's still fresh.
33:02Okay.
33:03Here we go.
33:09Oh, last bit.
33:10Is that empty, do you reckon?
33:12Look, there's none, there's no drippies.
33:14Or do you want me to get in there and lick it?
33:16Oh, that's fine.
33:17Okay.
33:18How am I going to put the compliments back?
33:19Eat shit.
33:20You're the worst.
33:21Worst bucket of all time.
33:23You will die alone because no one wants to date a bucket.
33:28I'll never support bucket equality.
33:30I mean, I normally wouldn't carry that much cash but I was just really hoping to score.
33:34Oh, the bucket with all the kisses.
33:35How many kisses were a bit?
33:37Here we go, back in the right spot.
33:43Julia, has it ever occurred to you to not be disgusting?
33:55I just had, you had to do it.
33:57Like, I was there to jump in.
33:59There was not a drip left.
34:01I, I, even the tiny bit of meat.
34:04I, I was, yeah, I was committed.
34:09Luke, that's probably the nicest thing that anyone's ever said about a bucket.
34:12And so you, you put compliments in.
34:15Yeah.
34:16But then when you took them back out, they turned into insults.
34:18That is...
34:19I was, I thought that would cancel them out.
34:20It's like, you know when you poo in the toilet and then you spray air freshener?
34:23Hang on, have you just turned into Nina?
34:25I'd like to point something out here.
34:29As some of the other contestants noticed, uh, it wasn't necessary to do anything with
34:33the number 13.
34:34Oh dear.
34:35Wish you'd told me that on the day.
34:38I really destroyed that bucket's confidence for no reason.
34:41LAUGHTER
34:45Luke took 25 minutes and 31 seconds.
34:48Julia, 32 minutes and 9 seconds.
34:51OK.
34:52That means the overall scores are Julia with one point, Nina with two, Dania with three,
34:59Luke with four and Jimmy wins the task with five points.
35:03OK.
35:04What are you going to put in your shopping bucket when you go to the supermarket?
35:07Why don't you get inspired by watching some ads?
35:10See you soon with more Taskmaster!
35:12Look, I know you're watching it now, but how about watching more later?
35:22Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation of Taskmaster Australia with full episodes
35:27at 10play.com.au or the 10play app.
35:37Welcome back to Taskmaster.
35:38It's the second last episode.
35:40The atmosphere is electric.
35:42Who will get to take home Julia Morris' yummy, yummy eyelids?
35:46Only time will tell.
35:48What's next, Tom?
35:49We don't usually do this, but we're going to sneak in a fourth proper task.
35:52Ooh!
35:53Well, if you've got one.
35:55I sure do, and I don't think you're going to like it.
35:58What's up?
36:14Ooh!
36:15Hello, Tom.
36:16Um, what are we doing?
36:18Yeah.
36:19I've got a locker with my name on it.
36:23Ah!
36:24Okay.
36:25There's some negative film in here.
36:26Just some photos taken of me against my will.
36:27No!
36:28This one's pretty rude.
36:29You're giving me the finger.
36:30Oh, right.
36:31All right.
36:32Take a secret photo of the Taskmaster without them knowing.
36:47You must bring your secret photo to the record of Episode 9.
36:52Most impressive secret photo wins.
36:56How am I going to...?
36:57Ow!
36:58Am I allowed to keep this piece of paper so it reminds me?
37:01Because guess what's going to happen?
37:02It's not going to remember.
37:03What if he catches you?
37:05Didn't say, aren't there?
37:06All the information is in the Task.
37:08All right.
37:09I'm going to get out of here because this is a future me problem.
37:12Okay.
37:13Well, I didn't know about this Task.
37:25I can't tell you this much.
37:26I didn't notice anyone taking my photos.
37:29So this is a little bit unnerving, but I'm cool under pressure so I don't mind, I guess.
37:34All right.
37:35I think we've got Danielle's first.
37:39Oh.
37:40This is Tom Gleeson through the surveillance system.
37:46I snuck in there and Tom moves too fast to catch him in a way that doesn't make him look like an alien.
37:53Did you take the photo?
37:56Well, I took the screenshot of it and then that's technically then a photo.
38:01All right.
38:02What else do you have?
38:03Next up we have Luke's.
38:06So this is Tom in his natural habitat, checking in at the hotel.
38:11We get the car home together.
38:13The whole time we were talking, Tom, I kept having my phone up like this, but I'm like, I was really enjoying our chat.
38:19I didn't want to ruin our friendship by taking a photo of you and then not being able to tell you why.
38:23I think I remember this night.
38:25You're off your nut.
38:29So I've got more of a paparazzi style one behind the bush.
38:33All right.
38:34Who else do we go?
38:35Okay.
38:36Next up we have Jimmy's submission.
38:37This is you in your natural habitat.
38:41And it also answers the age-old question, do the curtains match the drapes?
38:47So the drapes fell out naturally?
38:49This is a renovation.
38:52You do look good in a turtleneck.
38:53Oh, thanks.
38:54It's pretty good.
38:56Are you implying that I went to that waxing salon and got waxed and then walked out and my head was slightly larger than it should be?
39:03I was just across the road with a long lens.
39:07We have Nina's.
39:11There's a part two to this because I thought that you wouldn't like this task that Tom Cashman set up to you.
39:17So can we get the second photo?
39:24Okay.
39:25What else do you have?
39:26Well, we've only got one left and it's Julia's submission.
39:29This actually has a story behind it.
39:30Oh.
39:31So I went onto your Instagram and I realised that you were on tour with Hard Quiz.
39:35Oh.
39:36And about a week after I got the task you were in Tasmania.
39:42Oh.
39:43So I went out to Melbourne Airport and I was like, oh, I wonder if this is Tom.
39:47Oh, no, that's not Tom.
39:48Oh, no, that's not Tom.
39:50I was like, do you know what?
39:51I wonder if this is Tom.
39:53Oh, no, that's not Tom.
39:54Is that Tom?
39:55Oh.
39:56No, that is not Tom.
39:57So then I'm like, well, maybe you've flown the night before and I've missed my opportunity.
40:00So I went through security and then I found him.
40:04Oh, that's me.
40:05Here he goes.
40:07So then, it doesn't end there, my friend.
40:10I then followed you.
40:11Oh, shit.
40:12Oh, no.
40:15Oh.
40:27So this was the look out the front while you were waiting for your car.
40:30Oh, yeah, no, you're not happy.
40:34Your car was taking ages.
40:36I'm like, I am a much bigger star.
40:39Then I followed Tom to his hotel.
40:42What?
40:45There was a lot of adrenaline going on that day.
40:48And I thought, he's up in his room now and I don't want to blow it.
40:51So what I'm going to do is go and take a nice photo of myself with the task outside your theatre, which I did.
40:58Wow.
40:59I asked Julia for some statistics.
41:05She spent more than $950.
41:09She travelled more than 875 kilometres.
41:13There seems to be one that had a bit more effort put into it than the others.
41:19Maybe starting at the bottom, I'm going to say Luke's was pretty feeble.
41:22He just took a photo of me at the hotel.
41:24He could have taken a much more damaging one that other night when we were out on the tiles.
41:27So one point to Luke.
41:29Nina just took a photo in the corridor.
41:31So that's two points to Nina.
41:32Again, Danielle though, three points because it was just a security cam shot.
41:37Jimmy went to a lot of effort with this photo shot.
41:40So I'm giving you four points.
41:42But just for the sheer effort and adventure, it has to be five points to Julia Morris.
41:49What has that done to our episode scoreboard tonight?
41:53The winner at the moment is Jimmy with 19 points.
41:56Oh, okay.
41:58Okay.
41:59Well, this seems like a good point to ask.
42:00What are the scores overall for the whole series?
42:02We have Luke in fifth place on 117 points.
42:05But the current winner is Julia with 144 points.
42:10Alright.
42:12Thanks for that, Tom.
42:13As for me, I'm still reeling.
42:14I have no choice but to punish you all with a live task.
42:18Get on stage!
42:23Tom, I'm deeply intrigued.
42:24What's going on here?
42:25Luke, please read the task.
42:35Bounce or don't bounce on your tramp, or bounce or don't bounce on your step.
42:39If you trick the taskmaster into thinking you're on a tramp instead of step, or on step instead
42:44of tramp, you will progress to the next round.
42:47Last to trick the taskmaster wins, a bonus point will be awarded for the most joyous bouncing.
42:52Taskmaster, please turn around if you may.
42:56Please select your tramp or your step.
42:57Bounce.
42:58Bounce.
42:59Taskmaster, please turn back around and make your first guess.
43:13Yay!
43:14Woo!
43:15I think Luke is on a step.
43:16Incorrect.
43:17I think Danielle is on a step.
43:18Correct.
43:19I think Danielle is on a step.
43:20Correct.
43:21I think Nina is stepping on a step.
43:24Incorrect.
43:25I think Julie is being stationary, kind of on a trampoline, but in a joyful way.
43:32100% correct.
43:33I think Jimmy is pretending to bounce on a step.
43:36Correct.
43:37Taskmaster, could you please turn around?
43:41Bounce.
43:42Bounce.
43:43Yeah!
43:44I think you can't be careful.
43:45I think Jimmy is pretending to bounce on a step.
43:48Correct.
43:49Oooh!
43:50Taskmaster, could you please turn around.
43:52Bounce.
43:53Bounce.
43:54Bounce.
43:55Bounce.
43:56Bounce.
43:57Bounce.
43:58Bounce.
43:59Bounce.
44:00Bounce.
44:01Bounce.
44:02Bounce.
44:03Bounce.
44:04Bounce.
44:05Bounce.
44:06Bounce.
44:07Bounce.
44:08Woo!
44:09Oh, my God, this is fun!
44:12I feel like they might be going for a double bluff here,
44:15so maybe...
44:17I feel like Luke is on a step
44:19and Nina is on a trampoline but pretending it's a step.
44:26You are correct in Nina's case, incorrect in Luke's case.
44:29Luke is the winner.
44:30What?
44:30OK, well, wonderful bouncing or not bouncing.
44:39We'll be back after the break with the final scores.
44:54Welcome back to Taskmaster.
44:56They've painted, they've thrown tantrums, they've bounced,
44:59they've not bounced.
45:00And after all that, only one person can be the winner
45:03and leave with Nina's laxative.
45:07Our live tasks saw Jimmy, Danielle and Julia get one point,
45:11Nina got three points and Luke got five points.
45:17However, there's a joyousness bonus point,
45:20which you now have to choose.
45:22I'm going to give it to Luke.
45:23He was forever joyous when he was bouncing around.
45:26So what's that done to the episode scoreboard?
45:31The winner of the episode is Jimmy with 20 points.
45:33Whoa!
45:35Congratulations, Jimmy.
45:37Five desirable running things are yours.
45:40Get up on that stage, suck them up and take them home.
45:43You're a winner.
45:44Yeah!
45:44We are nine episodes down.
45:50Just one hour of thrilling television separates us
45:53and our first ever Taskmaster Australia winner.
45:56We learned that if you say something nice to a bucket,
45:58it's pretty hard to take it back.
46:01And I personally learned that I need to hire 24-7 personal security
46:06to keep on the lookout for Julia Morris.
46:09But most of all, we learned that our episode nine winner is Jimmy.
46:15Give him the love you believe he deserves.
46:18We'll see you next week for the grand finale of Taskmaster Australia.
46:22Yes, welcome to the season finale of Taskmaster.
46:42I don't want to brag, but I've got a feeling I'm going to be good at this.
46:45No!
46:45Tom, that was your fault.
46:47Please forgive me for being such a big pile of shit.
46:50Yeah!
46:51Who will walk away with my golden head,
46:53the respect of a nation and no money?
46:56LAUGHTER