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FunTranscript
00:00Here we go.
00:30Yeah, love.
00:37You OK?
00:39Yeah.
00:41Do you want anything else?
00:44No, thanks.
01:00Oh, sorry, we're late, Pauline. We missed the bus.
01:12Well, that's OK.
01:13All those flaming buses.
01:15If you're early, they come late.
01:17And if you're a bit late, they come early.
01:19Yes, now, what do you want us to do first?
01:20Well, nothing, really.
01:21Martin's had his breakfast, and I've vacuumed and dusted and polished.
01:26Oh!
01:27Just look at the floral tribute.
01:29Very nice.
01:30Oh, look.
01:31Oh, look, this one's from Michelle.
01:33Oh, and Vicky, isn't that beautiful?
01:35It says, oh, they really are beautiful.
01:38They're lovely.
01:38I like the red roses, don't you?
01:40Beautiful, yes.
01:41Which one?
01:42Hello, Pauline.
01:43Oh, Auntie Bessie, I wasn't sure you'd come.
01:46Come in.
01:47I had a lot of time for Arthur, you know that.
01:50Yes, of course.
01:51It's just that it's such a long way.
01:53I, I, it was only right I should pay my respects.
01:57Oh, you haven't met Gerald, have you?
01:59Gerald, this is Pauline.
02:01How do?
02:02How do you do?
02:02Gerald drove me here.
02:04I couldn't have faced the couch.
02:06Oh, I see.
02:07I've heard a lot about you.
02:09Oh, my sincere condolences.
02:12Well, um, come on through.
02:13This is Ethel.
02:19Ethel Skinner.
02:20And, of course, you know Auntie Nellie.
02:21Yes.
02:23Er, this is Gerald.
02:24Oh, pleased to meet you, I'm sure.
02:27How'd you do there?
02:28Well, I'll, er, go and put the kettle on.
02:30No, no, you sit yourself down.
02:32I'll do it.
02:33I'll see.
02:34She hasn't changed much.
02:35Is it going to be like this all day?
02:53Like what?
02:54Sitting here in silence.
02:56Well, you tell me.
02:57You're the one that ran off.
02:58I did not run off.
03:00I stayed at Pat's for the night.
03:01Oh, just for the night?
03:02Yeah.
03:03So you ain't come back to collect your stuff or something?
03:05Oh, I know you're being stupid.
03:06Oh, I'm being stupid, am I?
03:07Yes.
03:08We had an argument and I went to stay with a friend.
03:10That's it.
03:10And we do this after every argument, do we?
03:12No.
03:12Well, just this one?
03:13No, I was angry.
03:14So you thought you'd go around Pat's for the night
03:16and slag me off, yeah?
03:17No.
03:17Look, we talked about it.
03:18Of course we did.
03:19But I didn't slag you off.
03:20So I suppose you told her what a great bloke I was, did you?
03:22I just told her we'd had an argument.
03:24That's all.
03:25That is our business, all right?
03:28Look, I'm back now.
03:30Does it matter?
03:31Well, it matters to me, yeah.
03:33All right, Phil.
03:34Well, maybe I shouldn't have left.
03:35But then again, you didn't exactly beg me not to go, did you?
03:37Oh, so now I've got to beg you, have I?
03:39Why do you have to twist everything I say, eh?
03:42Look, can't we just at least be civil to each other?
03:45We have got Arthur's funeral a couple of hours, remember?
03:48Yeah, well, er...
03:50We can get on for Arthur's funeral.
03:53We can get on so we don't upset Ben.
03:56It's just a shame we can't do it for us, innit?
03:58There we go.
04:03There we go.
04:04There was some sugar.
04:05So when are you moving out, then?
04:07Oh, at the weekend.
04:08Must Peggy got to say about him.
04:09Not much, but she ain't got much choice, has she?
04:11Cheers.
04:14You ever notice how old people seem to love furrows?
04:17No.
04:18Oh, they do, don't they?
04:19Look at them.
04:20Just true.
04:20You'd think they'd leave well alone, wouldn't you, what with them being next in line?
04:22This is...
04:23Grant!
04:24Sorry, your thoughts?
04:25Yeah, well, thoughts like that are best kept to yourself.
04:28Yes, mate.
04:29Peggy?
04:30Yes, look.
04:31Some of the blokes are asking for beer.
04:32Well, give them what they want.
04:33Yeah, but I mean, do I charge them or what?
04:35Eh?
04:35With it being funeral?
04:37You announce there's a free bar, darling, and Arthur will have to bury himself.
04:40Oh, no.
04:52What does she think she's playing at, turning up with her gentleman friend?
05:15Well, he seems very nice.
05:16That's not the point, is it?
05:18I mean, what's he got to do with Arthur?
05:19Well, didn't he know him?
05:21Of course he didn't.
05:22He's just the latest in a long line of Betty's fancy men.
05:27You could fill the Albert Hall with her cast-offs.
05:30I wish he'd cast one of them my way.
05:32You wouldn't want the metal.
05:34Not exactly fussy as our Betty never has been.
05:38Fur coat and no drawers, Lou used to call.
05:42All right, ladies.
05:43Hiya.
05:44How we doing?
05:44OK.
05:46Everything's really over the road.
05:47I just thought we'd get enough drink.
05:49I'm sure it'll be fine.
05:51Aren't you Betty?
05:54Hello, love.
05:57How are you?
05:58Oh, are you bearing up?
06:00Try my best, you know.
06:02Aren't you Betty?
06:04This is Ruth.
06:05Hiya.
06:05The new bride.
06:07Well, not exactly new.
06:08He's very naughty, not bringing you down to see me.
06:12We will soon, I promise you.
06:13Well, this is Gerald.
06:15He drove me here.
06:18Gerald, pleased to meet you.
06:18How did you do?
06:19All right.
06:21Where's Mum?
06:22Oh, she went out for a bit of fresh air.
06:24What?
06:25Just a little walk.
06:26Well, someone should have gone with her.
06:27Oh, we did offer her.
06:28She said she wanted to be on her own for a bit.
06:30Cars are going to be here in half an hour.
06:32I did say she shouldn't be left on her own.
06:35Only after she'd gone.
06:37Now, she'll be okay.
06:38She's good.
07:03She's gone.
08:33Let us pray.
09:07For the last week or so,
09:35I've been searching the Bible for something that said everything I wanted to say about Dad.
09:44But I couldn't find anything.
09:49And I was reading through one of Michelle's old textbooks and I found this.
09:55I know who my father was, why he was.
10:03I heard his life beneath me, his pounding heart, his very breath.
10:11Imagine I beseeched thee, a son's head on a father's chest, a giant hand, his crown.
10:21Oh sweet rhythmic rise and fall, I love him, it mattered not what he did.
10:31What glories he achieved, the day he held me as a child is everything I need.
10:41He was my son, my warmth, my light, the thing that gave me life.
10:50I love him now as I loved him then, come sunset like a knife.
10:57And so I saw the day.
10:59And so I saw the memory, before I let you rest, I chose the day.
11:07You took my head and laid it on your chest.
11:13Man born of a woman has but a short time to live.
11:39Like a flower he blossoms and then withers, like a shadow he flees and never stays.
11:49In the midst of life we are in death.
11:52To whom can we turn for help but to you, Lord, who are justly angered by our sins?
11:59We have entrusted our brother Arthur to God's merciful keeping, and we now commit his body
12:07to the earth, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
12:13Ensure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life for our Lord Jesus Christ, who
12:22died, was buried and rose again for us.
12:26Can you go back with Mum and Martin?
12:43What?
12:44I'll see you back at the house.
12:45Oh, what's going on?
12:46Please.
12:47Just do it.
12:48Mark.
12:49I thought you'd see the job through, did you?
12:53No.
12:54No.
12:55No.
12:56No.
12:57No.
12:58No, you don't understand.
13:00I just wanted to pay my respect.
13:02What do you know about respect?
13:04You took a whole family and ate your way through it like a cancer.
13:05Yeah, I know what I've done.
13:06No, you don't.
13:07How can you know what you've destroyed unless you've had it yourself?
13:09But you haven't, have you?
13:10You're just a sad, lonely little man who couldn't get a life, so you thought you'd
13:11take someone else's?
13:12No, it wasn't like that.
13:13My dad was twice the man you are.
13:14How did you ever think you could take someone else's?
13:15How did you ever think you could take someone else's?
13:16No, it wasn't like that.
13:17My dad was twice the man you are.
13:18How did you ever think you could take someone else's life?
13:19No, it wasn't like that.
13:20I didn't think that.
13:21I knew I couldn't take his place.
13:22Look, Mark, I know you must hate me, Rachel.
13:23No, I hate you, all right.
13:24But not because you're the little dick you've always been.
13:25It's because of what you're doing now.
13:26No.
13:27My dad was a good man.
13:28No.
13:29My dad was a good man.
13:30No.
13:31No.
13:32No.
13:33No.
13:34No.
13:35No.
13:36No.
13:37No.
13:38No.
13:39No.
13:40No.
13:41No.
13:42No.
13:43No.
13:44No.
13:45No.
13:46No.
13:47No.
13:48No.
13:49No.
13:50No.
13:51No.
13:52I'm with you in this video.
13:53That was a good time.
13:54Y sunk and義 on a full year of my dad was a good man.
13:55He taught me the difference between right and wrong.
14:00I hate you for making me do this.
14:02Go off.
14:05Oh.
14:07It was a lovely service, Pauline.
14:32You did him proud.
14:33It's just it's all happened so quickly.
14:35Yeah, I don't believe I've had a chance to say goodbye properly.
14:38Well, that's the thing these days.
14:39No hanging about.
14:41That bicker's probably got another one in half an hour.
14:44Roy, why don't you see how the tea's coming on, love?
14:47Oh, yeah, right.
14:49Same with everything these days.
14:51Motorways, telephone banking,
14:53one-hour photo-developing drive-through restaurants.
14:56Everybody's in a hurry.
14:58Talking of which, shouldn't you be setting off soon?
15:01You've got a long drive back.
15:03Oh, no, we've got plenty of time.
15:05We may even stay the night.
15:08I'll never understand it.
15:10What?
15:11Telephone banking.
15:13I mean, how do you put your money in?
15:16She didn't come home?
15:18Not till this morning.
15:19Have you got it sorted now?
15:21Nah, not really.
15:23What, she's still got any up about Ricky and the dodgy motors?
15:25No, no, it ain't just that.
15:27I don't know, she just don't seem interested in anything other than dirty nappies and baby food.
15:32She's obsessed with him.
15:33Well, there's an A for that now.
15:35A?
15:36Postnatal depression.
15:38Nah, she ain't depressed.
15:40It wasn't her I was talking about.
15:42I'll leave off with her.
15:43Well, come on, bro.
15:44You've got to admit, this can't be without a cafe.
15:46I mean, you haven't exactly been yourself lately, have you?
15:48Cheers, bro.
15:49Thanks for your help.
15:50I've been looking for you.
15:51I'm sorry I had a go at you earlier.
15:52It's okay.
15:53You probably deserved it.
15:54No, you didn't.
15:55It was me.
15:56I just get a bit fed up sometimes.
15:57With me?
15:58No, not just with you.
15:59Everything.
16:00Things just get on top of me.
16:01Yeah.
16:02Yeah.
16:03Yeah.
16:04Yeah.
16:05Yeah.
16:06Yeah.
16:07Yeah.
16:08Yeah.
16:09Yeah.
16:10Yeah.
16:11Yeah.
16:12Yeah.
16:13Yeah.
16:14Yeah.
16:15Yeah.
16:16Yeah.
16:17Yeah.
16:18Things just get on top of me, that's all.
16:20So what do you want to do, then?
16:22Do?
16:23Well, do you want to get away for a while or go see your mum again?
16:27No.
16:28Well, what, then?
16:30I don't know.
16:38You okay?
16:39Yeah.
16:40So what was all that about?
16:42She's just a bit unhappy at the moment.
16:45What's she got to be unhappy about?
16:47Made a row last night.
16:48What about this time?
16:50She's lucky she's got a man who does what you do.
16:53I think we're just stuck in a row.
16:56You sure it's not something else?
16:58Like what?
16:59Oh, she's up for old tricks again, is she?
17:01No!
17:02You're sure?
17:03Yes!
17:04I think she just wants us to spend more time together.
17:08What's wrong with that?
17:09Nothing.
17:10That's all it is.
17:11It's a piece of set.
17:12Come to town.
17:13Come to town.
17:14It's a piece of, er...
17:16It's a piece of, er...
17:18It's a piece of...
17:20It's a piece of...
17:22Come to town.
17:30Where are you?
17:32What's Grant Mitchell doing here?
17:34Leave it, Mark.
17:36Not a day.
17:38Oh, how's it going here?
17:40Yeah, fine. Look, everyone's been asking for you.
17:42Where have you been?
17:44I just needed a few minutes on me own.
17:46Put a few ghosts to rest.
17:48Here, have a drink.
17:50It just seems to have got worse as far as I can see.
17:53I know. Someone should phone the council about it.
17:55It's a disgrace!
17:57I remember when we had a road sweeper every day of the week.
18:01Weekends as well.
18:03I think they should get all the unemployed out there
18:06and refuse them benefit unless they've collected three bags of rubbish on the way.
18:10That's a bit extreme, isn't it?
18:12You think we should pay them for doing nothing, dear?
18:14Unemployment isn't a crime, you know.
18:16It is in my book.
18:17There's plenty of jobs if you look hard enough.
18:19I don't think that's true, you know.
18:21Of course it is.
18:22You've only got to look in the papers.
18:23Pages of them there, huh?
18:24No.
18:25Get them all sweeping the roads.
18:27That's what I say.
18:28It's all they're fit for.
18:29Well, Arthur used to sweep the roads.
18:32He said it made him feel proud to think he was doing something for everyone.
18:39He was a gentleman.
18:42A gentle man.
18:45He saw the good in everyone much more than I ever did.
18:54Do you know, he'd sometimes cry when he was reading the newspapers.
19:00Said he couldn't believe what people did to each other.
19:04And sleep so...
19:06Paul, don't upset yourself.
19:10What am I going to do without him?
19:12Mum?
19:14What's going on here?
19:16Oh, muck, I miss him so much.
19:18I know, Mum.
19:20We all do.
19:22Hey, come here.
19:24Come on.
19:26Come on, now.
19:28So the geezer gets on, chucks the ferret on the table,
19:31and his missus says,
19:32What's that?
19:33And he says,
19:34Never mind.
19:35Just teach her how to cook.
19:36And then go and pack your bags.
19:40Keep it down, boys, please.
19:41Pauline's upset in there.
19:43Is she OK, Pat?
19:44Yeah, Mark's with her.
19:45A fresh cup of tea might help her.
19:47She was doing all right this morning.
19:49Yeah, I think it's called up with her.
19:50Where's Kath?
19:52She's gone over over to Sydney to check on her kids.
19:54Oh.
19:55Do you want me to go and get her?
19:56I thought she could sit with Pauline for a bit.
19:58Tell you what you could do for me, though.
19:59What's that?
20:00Well, you know that geezer that Betty brought?
20:02Gerald or whatever his name is.
20:04Take him off the road or something.
20:05Why? What's he done?
20:06Let's just say if he puts his foot in it,
20:07once again, he'll be limping home.
20:09How are we going to get hold of him, though?
20:10Oh, well, I'll send him in here.
20:11You do the rest.
20:12There you go, Pat.
20:13Thanks, love.
20:19Best thing that, a good cry.
20:21No use bottling it up.
20:23There you go, Paul.
20:24Oh, thanks, Pat.
20:25Sorry if you want.
20:27Don't apologise, love.
20:28Most natural thing in the world.
20:29A wife grieving for her husband.
20:32Gerald, you couldn't do us a favour, could you?
20:34Only the boys are having a spot of trouble in the kitchen.
20:36Trouble?
20:37Yeah, the kettle's blown or something
20:38and none of them seem to know how to fix it.
20:40Have they tried it in another socket?
20:42Check the fuse?
20:43No.
20:44No, I don't think so.
20:45Check the simple things first.
20:46Process of elimination.
20:48I won't be long.
20:49What did you have to bring him for?
20:53I beg your pardon?
20:55He's done nothing but shoot his big mouth off ever since he got here.
20:58Well, at least I've got a man, which is more than could be said for some.
21:02Don't you think we should stay at the house?
21:03No, no.
21:04It's a family tradition.
21:05The menfolk always go for a few pints after the sausage rolls.
21:17Look, if you've got something on your mind, Cathy, I'd rather you just tell me what it was.
21:28What?
21:29Well, you haven't said a word to me since we left Mark's.
21:31So?
21:32Well, even Ted was embarrassed.
21:33He must be ignoring me for a reason.
21:35So why don't you just share it with me, eh?
21:36Just leave it, eh, Cindy.
21:37Now's not the time.
21:38No!
21:39If you've got a problem, I'd like to know what it is.
21:40You wouldn't?
21:41Yes, I would.
21:44All right.
21:46You asked for it.
21:49I think that you are a selfish, ungrateful bitch.
21:52What?
21:53Ian is working his things with a bum for you and the kids, and all you care about is yourself.
21:57Has he been talking to you?
21:58No.
21:59So where has all this come from then?
22:01Oh, I'm not blind.
22:02I can see what you're doing.
22:03Have you any idea how lucky you are?
22:04How many other men do you think will do what Ian does, eh?
22:07Looking off the kids all the time, always putting you first.
22:09I know what he does.
22:10No, you don't.
22:11Cos if you did, you wouldn't treat him like this.
22:12Oh, and what is it you think I'm doing?
22:13Making my son's life a misery.
22:15Oh, and he's told you that, has he?
22:16Well, he doesn't have to.
22:17And what right have you got to stick your nose in anywhere?
22:19What happened to him?
22:20Me and Ian's got nothing to do with you.
22:21He's my son.
22:22Yes, well, he's my husband.
22:23Well, perhaps you need reminding of that.
22:24I don't.
22:25And what is that supposed to mean?
22:27You weren't?
22:28Come on, Cindy.
22:29What is it now?
22:30Getting bored at home?
22:31Grass-looking greener on the other side?
22:32Is it that's par for the course for you, innit?
22:33I don't believe we're having this conversation.
22:34Well, you better believe it.
22:35Or you could fool everyone else, Cindy.
22:37But I know you've old, remember?
22:38I've seen the signs before.
22:39You being moody, Ian not knowing why.
22:41You're sick.
22:42Maybe.
22:43But I'm not stupid.
22:44Ian found you in the gutter, and I told him that's where you belong.
22:47But he wouldn't have it.
22:48So now I'm telling you, if history repeats itself, it won't be Ian you have to worry about.
22:53It'll be me.
23:00Does anyone want to end now, Steve?
23:02No, thanks.
23:03Not for me, no.
23:04It was a lovely spread.
23:05I must thank Ian again.
23:06Where have all the men gone?
23:07I think they've popped over the road.
23:09Typical.
23:10Oh, they're probably better off there.
23:12That's where my Arthur would have been.
23:14Loved his pint.
23:15My Gerald doesn't drink.
23:17Not to excess, anyway.
23:19So where is he now, then?
23:20If Gerald's gone, it was just to be sociable.
23:23Oh, yes.
23:24I remember my William getting so sociable, he couldn't walk up the stairs.
23:32He was a good man, too.
23:35Just about the same age as Arthur when he died.
23:39You cope.
23:40Only the good die young.
23:42Oh, that doesn't say much for me, does it?
23:46I remember my Arthur when we started courting.
23:50Just 21, he was.
23:52There was nothing of him.
23:53He's like a young Frank Sinatra.
23:56Jet black hair and a smile that would make you go all goose pimply.
24:01He was a clumsy devil, though.
24:04He was always tripping or falling over something and everything.
24:07Used to get all embarrassed.
24:09Just made me love him more.
24:12You know, I like you, Lord.
24:16I like you, too, George.
24:18Gerald.
24:19Nigel.
24:20Pleases me.
24:21He's supposed to be driving overnight.
24:22We're putting him up here, aren't we?
24:23What about his other arm?
24:24Pat can sort it out.
24:25This was our idea.
24:26Hey.
24:27Talk with the devil.
24:28There it is.
24:29Can I offer you a little lighter?
24:30Gerald!
24:31What have you done to him?
24:32Disgusting.
24:33And at a funeral as well.
24:34How are we going to get home?
24:35It's all right.
24:36It's all right.
24:37It's all been sorted.
24:38We're putting you up here tonight and you can go home in the morning.
24:39What's happening over here, anyway?
24:40I was all finished.
24:41Pauline wanted a bit of time to herself.
24:42Let's hope she doesn't come in here and see this.
24:43How long do you intend to keep this up?
24:44Now, don't you two start, please.
24:45It's not me.
24:46You've done nothing but criticise me since I arrived.
24:47For...
24:48Can I offer you a little lighter?
24:49Gerald!
24:50What have you done to him?
24:51Disgusting.
24:52And at a funeral as well.
24:53How are we going to get home?
24:54It's all right.
24:55It's all right.
24:56It's all right, sir.
24:57Now, don't you two start, please.
24:58It's not me.
24:59You've done nothing but criticise me since I arrived.
25:01It's the cab fits.
25:02Why don't you just come out and say it?
25:04Say what?
25:05Charlie O'Brien.
25:06Never heard of him.
25:07It was Charlie O'Brien.
25:09He finished with her to go out with me.
25:11I think you'd better listen to this, Gilbert.
25:13Rubbish.
25:14He's never forgiven me.
25:15Ladies, ladies, I don't think this is the time.
25:17Everyone knows why he went off with you.
25:19Yes, because I gave him something he wanted.
25:22Yes, and you gave it to everyone else as well.
25:25What if I did?
25:27There was a war on.
25:28It was the only thing that wasn't Russian.
25:30You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
25:32What's going on?
25:33She started it.
25:34You silly old cow.
25:35No wonder you ended up on your own.
25:37Yeah, and look what you ended up with.
25:40Now, that's enough.
25:41I don't think you ought to think about Pauline.
25:43That's the reason we're here, innit?
25:44That's right.
25:45If you two can't get on, then stay away from each other.
25:47Don't worry.
25:48I intend to.
25:50Gerald.
25:53Look.
25:54I really don't think you should be on your own.
25:55No, honestly, Mark, it's what I want.
25:56Just a couple of hours.
25:57And anyway, I've got to pack for tomorrow, if you don't mind having Martin.
25:58Of course not, but Ruth can do that.
25:59Why don't I come back with you?
26:00No, Mark, please.
26:01OK.
26:02You come over if you need me, yeah?
26:03Thank you for everything you've done today.
26:04I would have been lost without you.
26:05Look.
26:06Look.
26:07Look.
26:08Look.
26:09Look.
26:10Look.
26:11Look.
26:12Look.
26:13Look.
26:14Look.
26:15Look.
26:16You're mad.
26:17I can't do that.
26:18Why don't I come back with you?
26:19No, Mark, please.
26:20OK.
26:21You come over if you need me, yeah?
26:22Thank you for everything you've done today.
26:23I would have been lost without you.
26:24I want something out of running.
26:54Bye, darling.
26:56Bye, darling.
27:26Bye, darling.