Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a survey that asked people to rank noises they like and dislike hearing in the bedroom.
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00:00Apparently, when you lie there silent and perfectly still during sex, it's not a turn-on.
00:10So adjust your technique, if that's your thing.
00:13They had men and women rank the seven most common noises you can make during sex.
00:18From seven to one. Worst to best.
00:21Okay.
00:22Silence.
00:24Silence is the worst. Seven.
00:25Silence is the worst noise you can make during sex. No noise at all.
00:28Yep.
00:29Squeaking is next.
00:31Oh, this is the Asian style.
00:32Yeah.
00:33Oh, right. I know what you're saying. I was trying to say, I'm squeaking.
00:36I know what you're saying now.
00:37Yeah. There's a squeaking.
00:38There's a squeaking. I can see the Asian chicks. Well, I mean, you know.
00:42Yeah, you dated one.
00:43I know what you're talking about.
00:4528% of men and 15% of women like it, but it's still one of the least liked noises.
00:51I don't want my man to squeak.
00:52Yeah, like a man squeaking.
00:54A man?
00:54I can't even imagine a man squeak.
01:00I don't think there is.
01:01I mean, probably is.
01:0315% of women like it. Hopefully they like it on themselves. Not on a man.
01:07I don't, I, I don't know.
01:10I don't know.
01:10No. God.
01:12Okay. All right, man squeaks.
01:14Enough with the man squeaks, Andy.
01:17Andy's man squeaks.
01:17Oh, that was Chuck.
01:18Yeah, that was Chuck.
01:19Oh, wow.
01:20I thought it came from over there.
01:22Andy and Chuck's man squeaks are bad.
01:24After my voice at Andy.
01:26He did.
01:28That was funny.
01:35Yeah, so yeah, squeaking, no.
01:37No.
01:38Screaming.
01:40I don't like screaming.
01:4251% of men like it.
01:45Only 36% of women like it.
01:47Again, man screaming.
01:48Yeah.
01:49Is not a sexy, masculine.
01:53That's crazy, but there's some dudes like that are in.
01:56Yeah.
01:57Yeah, there's some dudes in form.
01:58To me, that's more of a grunt.
02:00Yeah.
02:00That's, I think there's a difference.
02:02I may have been guilty of sex grunting, but not sex screaming.
02:06I grunt.
02:07There's like a, there's like one dude, there's like one dude who's like.
02:15I swear to God.
02:16God.
02:17Is that Marzan?
02:18You have to stop right there.
02:19Lex Steele.
02:22Know who the guy is.
02:25Lexington Steele.
02:26You can't listen to him.
02:27You can't.
02:29But he screams.
02:31What a turn off.
02:35He's a big black guy?
02:36Yeah.
02:38Yes, he is.
02:39Whoa.
02:40Whoa.
02:41Yeah, like that's a search.
02:44That's funny.
02:45Maybe these ones wouldn't be.
02:46Oh no.
02:48They can't be on there.
02:49They can't be on there.
02:49They can't be on there.
02:50They can't be on there.
02:50I know.
02:50It's like we can't listen to it.
02:53I really want to.
02:54Just one quick second.
02:56No.
02:56Just one quick second.
02:57You really can't.
02:58Just one quick second.
02:58Hold on.
02:59Hold on.
03:04We'll try to do another quick second.
03:05Keep going.
03:06Hold on.
03:08Nope.
03:10Nope.
03:11Hold on.
03:12A millisecond of Lexington Steel's scream is one of the funniest things on the planet.
03:25Who knew?
03:26Do we hear any more?
03:27One more quick.
03:27One quick.
03:28Sure.
03:28Ready.
03:29Ready?
03:31No.
03:31No.
03:31Just hold on.
03:32Hold on.
03:32Okay.
03:33Okay.
03:33Let's go in the middle.
03:34Okay.
03:34Let's go in the middle.
03:34Can't do that one.
03:48But no, but he is as crazy as he gets.
03:54Oh, yeah.
03:55What an exciting game this is.
03:58Is it still going?
04:01Is it still going?
04:01Yeah, it's still going.
04:08We're getting in the wrong territory.
04:10I can't do that anymore.
04:11We're done with Lexington's sex scream.
04:13We're playing with fire.
04:15Hot, screamy fire.
04:16We really were.
04:18No one heard any of it.
04:19Who knows what's next?
04:21Heavy breathing.
04:23Fine.
04:2460% of men like it.
04:2646% of women like it.
04:28Most women don't.
04:29The majority of women don't like heavy.
04:30What's wrong with it?
04:31Well, because if you're a guy, you think, do I need to call my mom?
04:35Well, and you do.
04:37That's me.
04:38You would have to.
04:40Because, hit my medical word.
04:43Seriously.
04:44Well, I sit there and be like, I can't.
04:45Well, yeah.
04:46Get a breath.
04:46Or like, I don't know.
04:48I think it's very similar.
04:50It can be very similar dying and actually doing it.
04:54I think so.
04:55I've pushed it to the limit.
04:56I'm telling you.
04:58I probably could.
04:59You'd probably hear a gargle.
05:01So, that's funny.
05:02Death gargle.
05:03We think a woman.
05:04It's sexy.
05:04Obviously, she's enjoying it.
05:05Women think, is he dying?
05:07Yeah.
05:07Yeah.
05:08That's different.
05:09It's weird.
05:09It's a weird one with the guy.
05:10Yeah, it is.
05:11And then the number one thing.
05:13More men do like it than women.
05:16But the number one best noise to make during sex.
05:19Moaning.
05:21Yeah.
05:21Ninety-one percent of men like a moan.
05:23Who are the nine percent that don't?
05:25It's the same choice, probably.
05:27But only 77 percent of women like it.
05:29There's a large group of women that don't like moaning.
05:31Man moaning.
05:32Well, because men...
05:33Us doing anything's a real...
05:34We're creepy.
05:35Yeah, that's just...
05:36You mind if I get some of this sensual tension out through my voice?
05:47You think...
05:48We don't sound like Bubble O'Bill when we sound.
05:53Some of us do.
05:54Some people do.
05:56I think that's what happens.
05:57Oh.
05:58Oh.
06:00Wow.
06:03God, I hope I don't sound like that when I man...
06:05You never know.
06:05You'd have to tape it and play it on the show.
06:08No, stop it.
06:09I just try to make every noise I make, like I hit my elbow on something.
06:13Like...
06:14That's like a manly grunt.
06:17Yeah.
06:17Yeah, like I'm moving wood, which I am.
06:20You're chopping.
06:21Chopping.
06:22Chopping firewood.
06:23Yeah.
06:23Yeah.