Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to call-in and share their stories about when sex had an unhappy ending.
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FunTranscript
00:00so what was your unhappy ending that was
00:07theirs you tell us when things didn't go
00:09the way you had planned some text coming
00:11in my buddy had a devil's threesome with
00:12his girlfriend the other guy had a much
00:15longer unit than him and before he knew
00:19it ended up turning into a cuckold
00:21situation complete with small penis
00:24humiliation that's not what you hope
00:27no that's a bummer last night was a real
00:33bummer my lady I didn't particularly care
00:37for the penis humiliation oh poor bastard
00:41that's no good nor did I say I wanted to
00:44involve myself in a cuckold poor little guy
00:48you got some relationship issues yeah
00:49this one said the wife went to visit the
00:52prostate and it was
00:54oh I'm like I went to visit the prostate
00:57it'd be nice if you greeted it that way
01:00hello
01:00I brought you a casserole
01:03thank you
01:06you're welcome prostate
01:08hello
01:10yeah it wasn't that friendly
01:13um I guess he said I was on the opaloids
01:17oh and didn't realize how backed up I was
01:22oh oh no and didn't properly prepare for
01:26this oh it ended up with poop on her and we
01:31both learned to prep before that and I will
01:35not do opaloids before it again step one get
01:38off those pesky opaloids it's so hard to get
01:40off them you know they're they're having
01:43for me yeah at least uh his side effect was
01:46alleviated yeah true it was but not how you
01:50want it to be alleviated I think if she was
01:53visiting yeah she will not return there
01:56again that'll put an end to that um oh some
02:01of them are way too graphic there's a lot of
02:04bad things that have happened like devastating
02:06injuries very graphic or very full of poo
02:09poo and pee pee yeah what a polite way to put
02:13it James
02:13poo and pee pee I'm trying to come up with a
02:17variety of texts to put on the screen for you but
02:18it's all she pooped I pooped we both pooped we
02:23peed I peed she peed we all peed that sums it up
02:28huh wow yeah poop and pee pee
02:31happens quite a bit I guess uh well there is this
02:35one that made it through here uh I was I had a
02:38woman on top she did finish so hard that she
02:42pooped
02:43jeez my god he says to make things worse or
02:47better
02:47I had my hand wrapped around her ass at the
02:51time and it come on the turd literally landed in
02:54my palm you caught it huh so I just ran and threw it in
02:58touchdown I hope you spiked it like a football this is a super bowl dance
03:03how does this happen to people it's a gift how does this really happen to people is this
03:08reality this really happens to people we hear about it so much how could it not be
03:12I know I'm not gonna catch your deuce I'm not gonna catch your deuce it's gonna be real weird it's gonna be such weird
03:19weird moments after that after you poop
03:23it's all about where your hand is I guess
03:28I guess
03:29I'll go throw this away m'lady
03:33you can't hold it
03:40shall I dispose of your feces
03:42don't you I can't listen
03:44might as well
03:44she's the pooping bitch but you gotta feel a bit bad for her too right she didn't obviously ever
03:49intend to poop on her man
03:50well she's gotta take care of that she's a she's the last line of defense with her own butthole you know
03:55yep first and last
03:58first and last is like the marines
04:01yep but I mean the upside of catching it it could have been much messier
04:05I know at least I know but
04:07it's so disgusting
04:08I'm sure glad I caught your deuce
04:10could have been way worse
04:13but I mean it could have been
04:15just let it land
04:17don't catch it
04:20I can't even
04:21I'd rather catch it
04:23that's so gross
04:24like a slippery fish
04:25why would catching it be the best case scenario here
04:27no but just then Lisa then it's all over everything
04:29if I got it in my hands
04:31you just touched it
04:32I don't have to change the sheets
04:33it's not on my legs
04:34it's not on my bed
04:35it's not on her
04:36it's just right there
04:37I got one
04:37it'd be better on her
04:38on the bed and the sheets
04:39it's just down my
04:39it's down my forearm
04:41and in my palm
04:42it's not the best case scenario
04:44you gotta tie it
04:45I think it's best case scenario
04:46no
04:47I do
04:48I've caught it
04:48no
04:49and it hasn't made a
04:51a bunch of other things
04:53it's in your hand
04:54a disaster
04:54it's yours though
04:55but you can take the sheets
04:56and take them
04:57and throw them away
04:58you could throw them away
04:59no
05:00just throw them outside
05:01luckily I caught your dirt
05:02I don't have enough sheets
05:03to be thrown away
05:05willy nilly
05:06I'm catching it like soft shoes
05:12you throw those sheets away
05:13what if they're your favorite sheets though
05:15I don't care
05:16you can get new sheets
05:18oh my god
05:19you can't get rid of those sheets
05:20we gotta put that in your washing machine
05:21it's covered in feces
05:23fecal bacteria
05:24burn it
05:25laundry mat
05:26the laundromat
05:29no
05:29you're not going to the laundromat
05:31no way
05:32throw it away
05:34yeah
05:34okay
05:35we will agree to disagree
05:37poop hands
05:37Dave talk to me
05:38if you ever have poop
05:39in your hands from your woman
05:40I'll get my god
05:41oh my god
05:42you tell me
05:43if that's the best case scenario
05:44I don't think so
05:46I just think
05:47Lisa
05:47okay my two options are
05:48I catch her deuce
05:50and I'm able to
05:50toss it in the toilet
05:52or I'm covered in it
05:53and she's covered in it
05:55and we've got it
05:55then we're a disaster
05:56how's the toilet that close
05:58it's not
06:00you gotta run
06:00I gotta get up
06:01and go
06:01yeah
06:02you had to run
06:02and he
06:03like you're trying
06:04to score a touchdown
06:05he did as fast as he can
06:07oh this is crazy
06:09do you keep your hand there
06:10until they're done
06:11oh my god
06:12oh well
06:13if I've already caught it
06:14that's I mean
06:15like he started
06:15it seems like this fella did
06:16like he's like
06:17oh
06:17he was like
06:17something's hap
06:18keep going
06:19like the ATM's
06:20no I hope it was fast
06:21keep going
06:22oh my god
06:27squeeze
06:28the ATM machine's broken
06:29it just keeps kicking out
06:30turds
06:31oh my god
06:35so many people
06:36have pooped on each other
06:37god damn
06:38what's wrong with you people
06:39clear things out
06:40yeah I can't believe
06:43how much that happens
06:44it's incredible
06:46one involved
06:48a fan was on
06:49so it
06:49come on
06:51it blew places
06:52crap hit the fan
06:53literally
06:54one of those like
06:55square fans
06:56you know
06:57she had diarrhea
06:59they cleaned it up
07:01and turned the fan on
07:02so that the smell
07:03would blow
07:04oh
07:04and then they continued
07:06that's beautiful
07:09maybe light a candle
07:09or something
07:10nothing stops
07:10real love
07:11nothing
07:12nothing does
07:13you guys
07:13diarrhea on a fan
07:15and the light
07:15came down
07:16diarrhea everywhere
07:19tried to catch it
07:22but
07:23it did not work
07:24yeah
07:25catching diarrhea
07:28in your hands
07:29hard
07:29oh my god
07:30you got that right
07:32you gotta cup your
07:34changes the whole story
07:35yeah
07:35it sure does
07:36you gotta creep like a pool
07:37it's a bad night for everybody
07:39there you go
07:40you need two hands
07:40that's how you do it
07:41about
07:43how you do it
07:44you
07:44you
07:47you
07:55you
07:57you
07:58you
07:58you
07:58you
08:00you