Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about bidets this morning after a doctor reported that using toilet paper could cause some health issues.
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00:00doctors are urging us to stop using toilet paper I've stopped already doctors say though wiping
00:12with toilet paper alone is really an ineffectual way of cleaning ourselves you are possibly leaving
00:19feces behind yes and then excessive use could even lead to health issues like anal fissures
00:25and urinary tract infections so he's saying alone meaning you should incorporate some other
00:30techniques get some wipes no they're saying we should be using wipes wipes man we should have
00:35wipes in here we have been a big proponent of ass wipes for a long time their number one is bidets
00:42I have a bidet now I'm in my toilet you know like the fancy kind I've never used a bidet and honestly
00:49it kind of makes me nervous thinking about it I have and it is shocking because like my I have my
00:54pants around my ankles and this blast of water shoots up your butthole yeah and you're supposed
01:00to like kind of wiggle your butt around right and get it out of there I don't know okay I don't know
01:05how do you not get your pants how do you not get your pants away I mean it doesn't splash out of the
01:10toilet oh I've never used an old school bidet yeah so you're you're sitting you're sitting and it's
01:17sealed and but it okay like a wand comes out and shoots up directly out of the b-hole how does it
01:23know right where your butthole is um you can position it yeah there's like a little remote or
01:29something you're like nope there's like front back position you can just move your ass until you
01:35it hits the sweet spot water pressure all of that and then what do you do you hit such a mess with
01:40these things that's what I'm thinking too it's not getting past your ass andy but I feel like the
01:47splash depending on the pressure it's gonna come out under my balls no it's not like it's not like
01:51a fire hose no for god's sake it's not a quarter car wash and like does it go like
01:56it's just a constant stream just one straight stream huh makes me nervous I don't know I just
02:06don't I don't know if it'll do the job yeah I just I need everything probably they said get some
02:12chocolate wipe it on a wooden floor and try and dry it up with dry toilet paper oh there's no
02:17question you'll get chocolate in the cracks that's a weird experiment what are you doing
02:21I definitely have chocolate in the cracks right now don't ask I can tell I don't want to waste
02:26chocolate I know I've got chocolate in the cracks oh god you know um oh god what a horrible thought
02:32and I wish I didn't but what are you supposed to do Chuck's got chocolate in his cracks that's a
02:36dessert I'm gonna pass yeah that's what you say now I just know I'd be nervous to use of a day
02:42I don't think I think I think my time for experimental butthole stuff no I talked about it on the show
02:47years ago when I used it and it was a shocking but you do feel refreshed but it takes a minute
02:52to get used to the whoop I will say this I mean there are times when I've got so much chocolate
02:57in the cracks that I'm like I need to take a shower and it's basically like taking a shower
03:03with just your ass you know I mean I'd love it to shoot some soap on there and then like you know
03:09maybe a bristle brush comes up and gives it up come on a bristle brush your ass yeah you know
03:14like a car wash like a car wash brush one of the nice soft ones no I just don't think if you're if
03:20it's like the pressure of a water fountain is that what it is you can control the pressure so it can
03:25be very light it can be three different it can be soft medium or hard if you need it like a little
03:30bit more but it's not gonna what are you what setting do you like shut up is it like super soaker
03:35I thought you almost got her oh no you like a lot of pressure on your butt
03:40they have like you rascal you are you're a rascal 30 rascal hey I'm opening myself up by talking
03:48about this but I have to because I have one and whatever there's no shame in your game
03:52I love my toilet clean ass up in here I like the grin chuck head as he's the pressure on your butt
04:00I never wanted to poop anywhere more than Lisa Way's house right now it's too bad none of us know
04:06where she lives I know I want to try it out it's in my own personal bathroom so you'll never see it
04:10the guest can't use it Lisa Way's master suite bathroom yeah exactly they use the bidet it's good
04:15and it washes the front bits too right yeah ladies front back okay so what do you like on the front
04:21you like it more powerful and you're able to move it wherever you want that's wild that's wild huh
04:29you're on there all the time just everything's clean I would just sit down on it and just hit
04:34like the Lisa button just to see what she goes through yeah
04:37Lisa let's hold on for
04:42I'm always in the bathroom
04:59sounds refreshing
05:01it's up on my balls a little bit
05:03wow
05:06all right yeah
05:10I see what's happening
05:12Lisa
05:15I don't know
05:16be nervous
05:18I guess most people would for the first time I was definitely for the first time it was an experience
05:23I'd never had before yeah I feel like once water hits my butthole it steams and evaporates
05:28a lot of clouds yeah like dropping it on a hot pan yeah you're
05:33the mirror gets foggy yeah
05:36why is the mirror so foggy
05:39water in my butthole
05:40I'm like dropping water on a hot pan
05:42all of a sudden
05:44I feel like my butthole is like 250 degrees
05:46yeah
05:47celsius
05:48feels like someone just ordered uh
05:50like chicken fajitas
05:52hey
05:52what is that noise
05:54I'll just bidet in my butthole
05:55oh okay
05:56it's 300 degrees celsius
05:57nope my butthole's got the temperature of a star
06:01oh wow
06:04that is
06:05hot
06:07a lot of questions
06:08I need to go to like home depot or something and talk to these
06:11Andy
06:11be like
06:12oh
06:12that's my butthole sizzle
06:14see the water hits it
06:15and it's like a hot pan back there
06:18my butthole runs hot
06:19I mean it is hot
06:21it sounds hot
06:21yeah it is
06:22you could cook fajitas between my cheeks
06:24all right
06:26so bad
06:27Andy's ass fajitas
06:29that's why
06:31a lot of questions
06:32hot
06:36You
06:36can talk to them
06:37you
06:40I
06:41can talk to them
06:43butthole is
06:44I
06:45can't talk to them
06:46to the
06:47island
06:49that probably
06:50could
06:51even
06:51make
06:53nan
06:53out
06:54and
06:54I
06:55can
06:56thank
06:58you
06:58I
06:59didn't
07:00use