Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an aggressive goose that is attacking people in a New Jersey diner parking lot when they get too close to his mate and babies.
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00:00I love this story right here because this goose has impeccable taste as where he's shopping.
00:11So there's a goose in New Jersey that's causing problems because he's attacking everybody in
00:16the parking lot of the Coles. On the attack, a goose has been dive-bombing anyone who gets
00:23too close. New Jersey reporter Anthony Johnson found out why he's in such a grumpy mood.
00:28This is not a video game. This is the true definition of an angry bird. And there he is.
00:35All you have to do is start to walk a little bit closer to the nest and he starts to pay
00:39attention. He's watching over his mate for life. Don't get caught getting too close to a nesting
00:45mother goose because dad is in a fighting mood and he watches over his moon. Male Canada geese are
00:52known to be aggressive this time of year because they're protecting their eggs. He's like,
00:57a guy doing that.
00:59They'll clam on you and you'll have a black and blue mark that will last for a month or so.
01:05Look at this guy.
01:05The male is always on watch, always on the prowl. Some people like to test fate, but there
01:11is no backing down for this waterfowl. He keeps a focus on his future and is ready to attack
01:17at a moment's notice. Just like, like us.
01:20He's got a gold chain and a mustache. He's kind of an expert.
01:22I'm the local Jersey goose expert.
01:24And we would do anything in our power to protect them. It's the same thing.
01:26Over the weekend, this male protector knocked one man down when he inadvertently came too
01:32close to the nest. The bird started pecking away at his face and left the victim with bruise
01:37marks. I can't even imagine.
01:38The people there, they protect the guy because they're making a lot of damage. Wait a sec.
01:45I got to go back because I don't even know what was even said.
01:48He was speaking English.
01:49I don't even know. Wait a sec.
01:51I don't even know.
01:52There's another guy with a mustache. They found the owner of a greek restaurant or something.
01:56Let's see what you have to say.
01:58With bruise marks.
01:59Good thing the people there, they protect the guy because they're making a lot of damage
02:06to him.
02:07They can do a lot of damage to him.
02:09And so he will watch over...
02:10The bottom line is I think that man's very upset that the goose is in the parking lot
02:14of the restaurant.
02:16Some of these dudes, like that guy's right from the old counter. He's like,
02:19Just let me chop its head to clean off. I've got the bigger giant cleave. I don't want
02:23to cook it up.
02:24People worry about this goose.
02:26Kill it.
02:27Snap neck, grab and make a swing.
02:31Let's just put it out of its top of misery.
02:34Which could run anywhere from 20 to 25 years.
02:37The male doesn't stray too far away.
02:39Get out of there, old man!
02:41Help! Help!
02:43Help!
02:45It looked like Barry's...
02:47It looked like Bernie Sanders!
02:50Hold on, go back.
02:52Hold on.
02:53That looked like Bernie Sanders.
02:55Oh no!
02:56I dropped my slacks!
02:58Oh my...
03:00Here he comes, here he comes.
03:02Here he comes.
03:03Stop it!
03:04I just want to get to my Subaru!
03:14Please!
03:15Oh my god!
03:16I'm not as quick as I was!
03:18I just wanted to buy some maroon shirts!
03:21I just wanted to go to Kohl's!
03:22I just wanted to go to Kohl's!
03:23I just wanted to get some snacks!
03:24Let the old man go buy some novelty tees and comfortable pants!
03:28Look at that getting novelty tees there!
03:29There's a loose...
03:30Bernie Rod Mike!
03:31It's so funny because it looks so much like Bernie Sanders!
03:32It really does!
03:33It really does!
03:34It really does!
03:35It really does!
03:36It really does!
03:37What is he doing in Jersey at Kohl's?
03:38I don't know!
03:39I'm here to remind you not to mess with upset aggressive geese!
03:43Oh my god!
03:44Jersey goose!
03:45You just wanted comfortable slacks!
03:47My favorite is they always keep shooting to the female goose there and she's like get
03:56him baby!
03:57Oh yeah!
03:58Yeah!
03:59She's got a tough one!
04:00She's got like a tough one!
04:01That old guy did a cartoonish escape!
04:04Help!
04:05Help!
04:06Were they doing this for the news?
04:07I think they were!
04:08They just set them up!
04:09They're like hey man!
04:10Can you run through this?
04:11It seems like it!
04:12Even the first guy!
04:13Hey you go over to that corner over there and see what happens!
04:15Imagine if they just put something down on the ground and they're like excuse me sir!
04:23Can you go over there and grab that paper?
04:26Oh yeah!
04:27The $5 bill over there!
04:28Oh $5 bill!
04:29Yeah you can keep it!
04:30You can keep it if you grab it and you can use it at Kohl's!
04:35I got a coupon!
04:36Kohl's coupon!
04:37Kohl's cash!
04:38They got the Kohl's cash!
04:39They got the Kohl's cash!
04:42And he almost dies!
04:44Yeah!
04:45I thought that they had just set it up and that he was like going about his old man business
04:49and they were just secretly watching this guy do what the news!
04:52They might be doing that!
04:53I don't know!
04:54If you want to see Bernie Sanders get attacked by the goose!
04:56Not really Bernie Sanders!
04:57But it's Doppelganger!
04:58You can find the video posted over at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com