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00:00Transcription by ESO. Translation by —
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01:43Madam!
01:45Madam!
01:46Something bad happened!
01:47What happened?
01:48The old man got angry again.
01:51He was beating the young master.
01:54Go and try to persuade him.
02:00uh
02:17what
02:30uh
02:46foreign
03:00foreign
03:13foreign
03:35oh
03:43I heard that you love to eat too much, so I made these dishes especially for you.
04:01How does it taste?
04:04I really don't have an appetite.
04:09I can no longer be filial to my father.
04:13In this world, my mother is my only blood relative.
04:17I really don't want to hear that old saying again.
04:20What old saying?
04:22I can't bear to part with you.
04:33Mother, please eat.
04:38Slow down, slow down.
04:44I can no longer be filial to my father.
04:47Slow down, slow down.
04:50If it's not enough, I'll make more.
04:52Enough, enough, enough.
04:55It seems that you like my cooking.
05:00Yes, yes, I like it.
05:03From now on, I'll make a few dishes every day and eat them with you.
05:07It's considered filial piety.
05:12Shiyang, your father is dead.
05:16You don't have to worry too much.
05:18How about starting today?
05:20You will be in charge of our family.
05:23I will definitely listen to you, okay?
05:34Slow down.
05:35Okay.
05:48This...
05:50Is this really my grandfather's remains?
05:55That's right. And these.
06:00These are the records of the investigation
06:02that Lord Yuwen has been carrying out
06:04against Zhuang Shiyang in secret over the years.
06:06Under the decree of Nanxun Quanzhou,
06:08by the order of the Ministry of Rites,
06:10three cadres were ordered to go down to the Zhuang Clan's ancestral temple in Danzhou
06:14and secretly open the coffin to retrieve Zhuang Hanliang's remains.
06:17Lord Yuwen secretly retrieved these remains.
06:26The skull has a light pink color.
06:28There is no poison in the water.
06:31There is ink in the oil.
06:33The skull has a black spot.
06:35It is inferred that the cause of death is the poison in the body.
06:37But the age is difficult to tell.
06:39It is impossible to determine what poison it is.
06:41This is the autopsy report made by Sun Wu of the Censorate.
06:47It seems that Uncle Yuwen has long suspected
06:49that the death of his grandfather was caused by Zhuang Shiyang's secret poisoning.
06:54There is also this.
06:57Xiwen found that after Zhuang Hanliang died,
07:00Wei Shi was not well.
07:02He did not eat or drink at home.
07:04When he went out in the middle of the night,
07:06he hesitated to build a small kitchen in Yongshou Hall.
07:09He was also suspicious of Zhuang Shiyang.
07:11He was suspicious of Zhuang Shiyang.
07:13Huo knew what was going on inside.
07:15Xiwen did not eat or drink for three days.
07:17He did not say a word.
07:18He only said,
07:20Grandmother knew what was going on inside?
07:23Mr. Yuwen hastily disclosed this matter.
07:25He did not explain the reason in detail.
07:28Their investigation also ended with Wei Shi.
07:31They could not find new evidence and witnesses.
07:34If this matter could be concluded back then,
07:37my mother would not have the intention
07:39of keeping the jade stone in the grave afterwards.
07:42We may be able to continue to investigate
07:44based on these clues.
07:46It's just that Wei Shi...
07:48The day after tomorrow is Grandmother's birthday.
07:50I will go back to the manor.
07:52My mother has not passed away for 30 years.
07:55I will be the 40th.
07:59Are you sure?
08:00I know what my grandmother is most afraid of.
08:03Knowing her weakness is not difficult.
08:09Today's birthday banquet
08:11is not inferior to that of Linjiang Pavilion.
08:13It is a great blessing for the old lady
08:16to have a good daughter-in-law like Mrs. Zhuang.
08:19Touch it.
08:21In my opinion,
08:22Mrs. Zhuang is more fortunate
08:24to have such a daughter.
08:26She was born a princess.
08:28Touch it.
08:29Shan'er can marry into the manor
08:31and be close to the prince.
08:33That is Shan'er's own fortune.
08:44All the ladies are here.
08:46They are all familiar with Young Madam Fu.
08:48Not familiar.
08:50She is very lively.
08:51She just said a few idle words.
08:53I am sorry.
08:55This lady is...
08:57Isn't she just a concubine?
09:00If she can keep her life,
09:01she should burn incense.
09:03She dares to disturb the day of great joy.
09:07Madam is joking.
09:09After all,
09:10she is also the daughter of the Zhuang family.
09:11She also wants to show filial piety to the old lady.
09:14Grandmother...
09:17The master is above.
09:18The enemy is in front.
09:20You don't call yourself mother
09:22and you don't bow.
09:24What kind of etiquette is this?
09:27Today is Grandmother's birthday.
09:30You should be more harmonious.
09:35Harmony?
09:37OK.
09:38I gave Grandmother a whole set
09:40of jewelry.
09:42She doesn't want to throw it away.
09:43I have kept it in the room for generations.
09:47Sister,
09:48why don't you sit down first
09:50and have a cup of tea?
09:52I remember
09:54you like to drink the rest of others' tea the most.
10:03The meal in my plate
10:04is not as good as the one in front of my sister.
10:07It has been eaten by four or five people.
10:09But my sister is still as good as new.
10:13Zhuang Hanyan,
10:14how dare you
10:16slander the prince?
10:17You...
10:18Yushan, Yushan.
10:20You are now the queen.
10:21The royal family is thriving.
10:23You should be jealous.
10:24Let go of me.
10:26Madam.
10:27Yushan, how dare you help him.
10:33Zhuang Yushan,
10:35we are sisters after all.
10:37Let me ask you.
10:38Are you willing to marry
10:40into the royal family
10:43or are you being forced?
10:46What do you mean?
10:47I am willing to marry into the royal family
10:49because I want to be the queen.
10:52If you still have the mind,
10:54you should go to Yao's Mansion
10:56and meet the former queen.
10:57Enough.
10:58Don't pretend to be a good person here.
11:00We are just fighting for our own future.
11:02Zhuang Hanyan, let me tell you.
11:04I just want you to know
11:06that you can be the daughter of the capital.
11:10I, Zhuang Yushan, can do that too.
11:13The daughter of the capital?
11:17I was once bewitched by the word daughter.
11:22The so-called daughter
11:24is not the daughter of gold or silver
11:26or the daughter of the palace.
11:30She is the daughter of character
11:32who is in a secret place
11:34but never gives up.
11:36She is a woman
11:38who dares to break the rules of etiquette
11:40and the rule of courage.
11:44The former queen's name was Yao Wangshu.
11:46She would rather die than be the daughter of the capital.
11:49She risked her life
11:51to escape from the world
11:53and regain her freedom.
11:55She may be called the daughter of the capital,
11:58but you are not.
12:03Stop talking nonsense.
12:05You must drink this tea
12:07or you will never leave the Zhuang family.
12:19Fu Yunxi,
12:20you should bow to me.
12:25Are you all right?
12:26I'm fine.
12:28Drink it.
12:38Catch Hanyan and Fu Yunxi.
12:40I won't let you off.
12:49I wish you good health.
12:51You were shouting outside
12:53and scared me.
12:55Bring me my pill.
12:57If you want to be safe,
12:59you should remove the root of the disease in time.
13:02Remember to let the disease spread
13:04and make it into an antidote.
13:06If I'm not mistaken,
13:08the root of the disease
13:10was caused by the death of my grandfather.
13:14Baochuan, Baoyue,
13:16leave us.
13:27Hanyan,
13:28what do you mean?
13:30My grandfather didn't die of illness.
13:32He died for another reason.
13:34Am I right?
13:36What nonsense are you talking about?
13:38Let's go out.
13:40It's better to pray to the Buddha than to pray to yourself.
13:42If there is a chance
13:44to reveal the truth,
13:46will you be willing to atone for your sins
13:48and pray for peace for the rest of your life?
13:55I'm an old and useless old woman.
13:58I rely on my son to feed me.
14:00All these years,
14:02I've been living a carefree life.
14:04Why do you have to bother me?
14:06I'm an old and useless old woman.
14:08I don't want to talk about it.
14:10I don't dare to force you.
14:15But in the future,
14:17you have to greet me every day
14:19and greet me every moment.
14:21If you and I suddenly get along,
14:23with your father's suspicious temper,
14:25will he suspect us
14:27and continue to
14:30feed you?
14:35Han Yan, I can't help it.
14:37In the Zhuang family,
14:39I have always been a lowly man.
14:41I've been a deaf and mute for so many years.
14:43Now I have a place to live in peace.
14:47For the sake of our love,
14:49please forgive me.
14:51I understand
14:53your concern.
14:55In this house,
14:57you have suffered
14:59too many grievances
15:01and torture.
15:03Don't you want to change your way of living?
15:05Are you willing to be bullied
15:07for the rest of your life?
15:11What way of living
15:13can I change?
15:19I'm your granddaughter.
15:21I can feed you
15:23and let you enjoy your old age
15:25for the rest of your life.
15:27Do you choose to hide behind the evil tiger
15:29and be afraid to be a ghost
15:31every day?
15:33Or do you choose
15:35not to be a mute
15:37and deaf
15:39in the last few years
15:41but to stand up
15:43and be a healthy person?
15:55No, no.
15:57Shiyang and I
15:59are like mother and son.
16:01We won't be provoked by you.
16:03I'll tell Shiyang right now.
16:05In that case,
16:07I won't live long.
16:11What?
16:13You want to kill me?
16:15When Han Yan was organizing
16:17my mother's things,
16:19she left a letter.
16:21The letter was full of words
16:23saying that
16:25the murderer
16:27who killed my grandfather
16:29was actually
16:31the old grandmother
16:33of the Zhuang family.
16:37What are you talking about?
16:39Watch your mouth.
16:41I know my grandmother was wrong.
16:43My mother did make a mistake
16:45when she investigated this case.
16:47She also
16:49asked you about this many times.
16:51Yes.
16:53She did ask me many times.
16:55What do you think
16:57will happen
16:59if Han Yan
17:01hands over the letter to the government?
17:03Zixu and Wuyong
17:05can't blame me for that.
17:07Have you ever thought
17:09if this matter
17:11really gets to the government,
17:13will the murderer
17:15who killed my grandfather
17:17try his best
17:19to get you out?
17:21Or will he
17:23kill you
17:25so that you can take the blame for him?
17:27From then on,
17:29you can live a carefree life
17:31without worries.
17:35Han Yan,
17:37what do you want?
17:39It's simple.
17:41It's just four words.
17:43The murderer will be executed.
17:49Grandmother,
17:51I'll give you three days.
17:53Han Yan is waiting for your decision.
18:11That's all.
18:13But I'm not sure
18:15what your decision will be.
18:19I'll wait.
18:25Young Madam, Master.
18:27Just now,
18:29Grandmother Sun came out from the back door.
18:31She was acting sneaky.
18:33She left without a word
18:35when she gave this to me.
18:37This is
18:39water celery.
18:41She must have been sent by my grandmother.
18:43Young Madam,
18:45it seems that this water celery
18:47Let go!
18:52What is this?
18:58This is no different from a normal water zither.
19:01But there is poison hidden in the root.
19:03This is the evidence that my grandmother hid for many years.
19:17My grandmother, my grandmother.
19:25What's wrong?
19:26My little rabbit ran in.
19:27Help me find it.
19:28Okay, okay.
19:29I'll help you find it.
19:30Let's look for it together.
19:34Grandmother!
19:35What's wrong?
19:36What's wrong?
19:45My son, you clearly have a timid personality.
19:48Why did you commit such a treacherous act?
19:51Since you've already done it, why didn't you do it cleanly?
19:55Why did you make me see it?
20:01Old Madam, Third Miss is here to look for you again.
20:05Why is she here again?
20:16Young Master, what's wrong?
20:18The Court of Judicial Review is impartial.
20:20May Lord Shuang come with us to the Court of Judicial Review.
20:24Why go to the Court of Judicial Review?
20:26Could it be that someone in the manor has committed a crime again?
20:29You will know when you get to the court.
20:32Take him away.
20:33I'll do it myself.
20:37This fish...
20:52Invite the physician here.
20:53Identify which one is poisonous.
20:56Yes.
21:03Lord Yan.
21:21Lord Yan.
21:29Lord Yan.
21:31Why did you do that?
21:32Zhou Shengyang, do you admit to your crime?
21:35What crime did I commit?
21:37Lord Yan, please explain.
21:41Invite the witness, Coronet Sun.
21:48Lord Yan, Lord Fu.
21:50I am the coronet of the Court of Judicial Review, Sun Min.
21:53Mr. Sun, please tell us again about what happened.
21:57Yes.
21:58About three or four years ago,
22:00Lord Yuwen of the Court of Judicial Review
22:02handed over this sea drum to me for investigation.
22:05I found that this sea drum contained an unknown poison.
22:09Later, Lord Yuwen handed over this sea drum to me.
22:13But he never mentioned who this sea drum was.
22:16This sea drum
22:18belonged to Zhuang Hanliang, the great-grandfather of the Zhuangs.
22:28Lord Yan.
22:2917 years ago, my father
22:31gave this sea drum to Zhuang Hanliang, the great-grandfather of the Zhuangs.
22:34Lord Fu.
22:35How could you say that?
22:37Yuwen Chang'an has been investigating this case for many years.
22:39Four years ago, he went to Danzhou
22:42to find Zhuang Hanliang's tomb
22:44and opened the coffin to remove the sea drum.
22:46This is the document recorded in Danzhou.
22:5817 years ago
23:09Lord Zhuang.
23:10Do you know what this is?
23:13Lord Yan.
23:15These are a few water celery.
23:18Lord Yan.
23:19This was found in the kitchen of Zhuang Shiyang's kitchen.
23:23It was planted by Zhuang Shiyang himself.
23:26Its appearance looks like a water celery,
23:29but it is a poisonous water celery.
23:31After investigation,
23:33there is no doubt that this poison was attached to Zhuang Hanliang's sea drum.
23:37He died for no reason that year
23:39because Zhuang Shiyang planted this poison.
23:43Zhuang Shiyang.
23:45Do you plead guilty?
23:47Lord, I am wronged.
23:48I have read the Book of Dreams since I was a child.
23:51How could I do such a despicable thing
23:53and commit such a heinous crime?
23:57Zhuang Hanliang died of poisoning that year.
23:59As his own son,
24:01did you not notice that you planted this poisonous water celery yourself?
24:05In all these years,
24:07there has not been a single mistake.
24:09None of the members of the Zhuang family died because of this.
24:13How do you explain this?
24:18I am wronged.
24:21I am wronged.
24:28So,
24:30you plead guilty?
24:35I have committed a heinous crime.
24:40I, Zhao Ruyi, am the second son of Zhuang Hanliang.
24:52Is this really poisonous?
24:58Yes.
24:59The poisonous water celery is very similar to ordinary celery.
25:02It is extremely difficult to distinguish.
25:03Even if you take a bite, you will die.
25:06Come with me now.
25:08Let's go to Prince Qi's Manor to discuss this matter.
25:10All right.
25:14Hurry up.
25:18You...
25:20Madam Zhuang, please come with us.
25:23Where are we going?
25:24The Court of Judicial Review.
25:26Grand Mama, hurry up and go to Prince Qi's Manor.
25:29Invite Yuzhan to the Court of Judicial Review.
25:30Yes.
25:45I am Zhou Ruyin.
25:47Greetings, Lord Yan.
25:49I have been covering up for you for seventeen years.
25:53Today, I can't hide it anymore.
25:56You should just admit it.
25:58Lord Yan, what do you mean by that?
26:02According to the confession of Zhuang Shiyang,
26:04when Ruan Xiwen was pregnant with Shiyue,
26:07the maids secretly poisoned Zhuang Hanliang
26:10and colluded with Master Duan Tian to pretend to be a ghost
26:13and attempted to frame the fetus in the mother's womb
26:16as an ominous ghost.
26:17Ruyin, you can't escape from my trap.
26:20You'd better admit it.
26:23Then you can be punished.
26:25There were a lot of tricks in my plan back then.
26:30But you didn't do anything wrong.
26:32You even used me and pushed me.
26:34You made a big deal out of it.
26:37It turns out that you had already planned it.
26:39If you can't get out of the trouble in the future,
26:42you can kick me out as a scapegoat.
26:45We are husband and wife.
26:46How can you frame me?
26:49Don't be so hypocritical.
26:51You framed me as a murderer.
26:53What evidence do you have?
26:54Lord Yan, there is another person in the prison of the Court of Judicial Review.
26:58Please help me.
27:00Who?
27:01Master Duan.
27:03Cui A'niu.
27:15This...
27:21Why is it your Zhuang family again?
27:23I was wrong. I regretted it.
27:25Please let me go.
27:27Cui A'niu, do you know this lady?
27:31Concubine Zhou, you are pregnant.
27:36Congratulations.
27:38Your wife is virtuous, kind, virtuous, and graceful.
27:42Congratulations.
27:47Cui A'niu, I want to ask you.
27:4917 years ago, did you collude with Zhou Ruyin
27:52and be instigated by her
27:55to cause trouble in the Zhuang family?
27:57This...
27:59Tell me the truth.
28:01Otherwise, I'll lock you up for ten years.
28:03It's her.
28:04Zhou Ruyin is in a bad situation.
28:07She is good at making trouble.
28:0917 years ago,
28:11when the Zhuang family was in trouble,
28:13I was influenced by her
28:15and instigated by her.
28:17Please investigate it.
28:19When you made the rumor about the Red-tailed Ghost,
28:22did Zhou Ruyin tell you
28:24why Zhuang Hanliang died?
28:27She didn't say that.
28:29But as the saying goes,
28:30there is no difference between righteous and unrighteous.
28:32I'm a bit like her.
28:34When Master Zhuang was crippled,
28:37I noticed
28:39that he was poisoned,
28:41not killed.
28:43In this way,
28:45the one who poisoned him
28:47must be Zhou Ruyin.
28:53Master, please investigate it.
28:55Everyone saw it.
28:57This thief
28:58is good at deceiving people.
29:00What he said is not true.
29:02What's more,
29:04he was just lying.
29:07Master,
29:08Princess Qi wants to see you.
29:26Greetings, Princess Qi.
29:30Don't stand on ceremony.
29:32I've heard
29:34all the rumors.
29:39Please stand up.
29:44Goddess, you're finally here.
29:46Although you were young,
29:48you knew a little about it.
29:50You can testify for me,
29:52right?
29:56Princess,
29:58you also know about it?
30:08Wow, look.
30:10Wuyishan has grown up.
30:12She must be a famous beauty in the capital.
30:14Really?
30:16So beautiful.
30:18Madam, bad news.
30:20Master is having an emergency.
30:22What?
30:24Master has always been healthy.
30:26How can he suddenly get sick?
30:28I don't know.
30:30Madam, go and see.
30:34Don't panic.
30:36Don't panic.
30:37Master has always been healthy.
30:39Maybe it's a good chance
30:41for us.
30:43Madam,
30:45is grandfather going to die?
30:47Don't panic.
30:49This concerns our future.
30:51Let me
30:53think about it.
30:55Wuyishan,
30:57have you forgotten?
30:59When I heard that your grandfather was seriously ill,
31:01I was shocked.
31:03I made a plan in my room
31:05to tell you not to panic.
31:07If I poisoned him secretly,
31:09how could he react like that?
31:11You were young.
31:13I didn't have to pretend in front of you.
31:15So your father slandered me,
31:17right?
31:19Wuyishan,
31:21you know my heart.
31:23How could I
31:25do that?
31:27Wuyishan,
31:29don't believe him.
31:31I've been wrong about him all these years.
31:33He has ruined our family.
31:35Fine.
31:39I admit my fault.
31:41It's all
31:43my fault.
31:45Let me
31:47go to jail.
31:59Mr. Yan,
32:03although
32:05I was young,
32:07I still remember
32:09what happened.
32:11Back then,
32:15I saw it with my own eyes.
32:27Yes,
32:29my mother
32:31poisoned Shuiqin
32:33with her own hands.
32:51Madam,
32:53your plan
32:55failed again.
32:57No.
32:59My plan
33:01finally succeeded.
33:19Wuyishan,
33:21what did you say?
33:23I saw it with my own eyes.
33:25You pulled out
33:27Poison Shuiqin
33:29and poisoned her with your own hands.
33:31Wuyishan,
33:33why did you
33:35fall in love with her?
33:37How could you slander your mother?
33:39I fell in love with her
33:41because of you.
33:43That's why I ended up like this.
33:51Wuyishan,
33:53don't say that.
33:55She is your mother.
33:57She raised you.
33:59It's all my fault.
34:01It's all my fault.
34:03It's all my fault.
34:25It's all my fault.
34:27It's all my fault.
34:29My own daughter
34:31admitted me in court.
34:33So
34:35it's all my fault.
34:37I admit my fault.
34:39I admit my fault.
34:53Mr. Lian,
34:55when the case happened,
34:57Zhuang Wuyishan was still a child.
34:59Her testimony was not enough to prove her innocence.
35:01Moreover, Zhuang Wuyishan and Zhuang Wuyishan
35:03admitted each other at the same time.
35:05At the same time, Zhuang Wuyishan admitted her guilt.
35:07There must be something wrong with it.
35:09Please give me a few more days.
35:11After I find out the truth,
35:13I will ask for a second trial.
35:15There is not enough evidence in this case.
35:17Take her back to re-trial.
35:19Thank you, Mr. Yan.
35:21Thank you, Mr. Yan.
35:29Let's go.
35:37Wuyishan,
35:39this is my father's specialty.
35:41Today,
35:43I made it for you.
35:45Try it.
35:47Mother,
35:49I want to eat plums.
35:51I have told you many times.
35:53I am a concubine.
35:55You are not
35:57a noble girl.
35:59Therefore,
36:01you are the only one I can rely on.
36:03You don't know
36:05what I like to eat
36:07and what I like to cook.
36:11All right.
36:13Eat the plums.
36:15The more you eat,
36:17the happier I will be.
36:19Since I took the oath,
36:21you have reminded me
36:23that everything we enjoy
36:25and everything we get
36:27is given by our father.
36:29Therefore,
36:31we should please our father
36:33and win his favor.
36:35The more we love him,
36:37the more favor we can get.
36:39Miss,
36:41don't cry.
36:43Don't coax her.
36:45Let her be.
36:49It's useless to cry
36:51when you want something.
36:53Do you remember what I said?
36:55You said you wanted to
36:57please our father
36:59and make him happy.
37:01How many days has it been
37:03since he last came here?
37:07Three days.
37:09Did Yushan upset you
37:11so he didn't come?
37:13No, I didn't.
37:15Yushan is fooling around again.
37:17Yushan.
37:21Yushan misses you.
37:23You never came.
37:25Yushan cried.
37:27I'm here now.
37:29Stop crying.
37:31If you cry,
37:33you won't be able to get married.
37:35My mother taught me
37:37that no matter when,
37:39you are my father.
37:41Only when I please him
37:43can I get what I want.
37:45I have to obey my father
37:47and be loyal to him.
37:49Only in this way
37:51can I be happy
37:53and get rid of
37:55all the troubles
37:57and become his daughter.
37:59Yushan, do you like
38:01these jewelry?
38:03Yes.
38:05Thank you, father.
38:07I know you like me the most.
38:09It's just that
38:11my mother
38:13never thought
38:15I'd give her everything
38:17to me.
38:19It's so great.
38:21Yushan.
38:27It's too late.
38:29Isn't it?
38:39Get up, father.
38:43Get up.
38:45I'm going back to Prince Qi's Mansion.
38:47Go back.
39:13Chinese TV Series Exclusive YouTube
39:43He forgets who he is
39:45and becomes a nobleman
39:49The night is deep
39:51and the garden is deep
39:53The fog is heavy
39:57He has entered
39:59this battlefield
40:01and cannot be separated
40:05How much love
40:07and how much hate
40:09need not be questioned
40:13Who is fake?
40:15Who is real?
40:17Does it still need to be identified?
40:21In the midst of fear,
40:23I ask for safety
40:25It's inevitable to be laughed at
40:27for being naïve
40:29The flames are burning
40:31and the horn is blowing
40:33Who can escape?
40:37He is willing to become a stranger
40:39The situation is not right
40:41He is like an ancient city
40:45Even if we meet at the bottom of the road
40:47Our eyes will be full of blood
40:49There will be no regret
40:53The road is deep and the sky is high
40:55I don't want to go back
40:57Please hold my hand
41:01The cold winter is hard to fly
41:03I don't want to be sad
41:05The road is deep and the sky is high
41:07I don't want to be sad
41:11He is willing to become a stranger
41:13The situation is not right
41:15He is like an ancient city
41:19Even if we meet at the bottom of the road
41:21Our eyes will be full of blood
41:23There will be no regret
41:27The road is deep and the sky is high
41:29I don't want to go back
41:31Please hold my hand
41:35The cold winter is hard to fly
41:37I don't want to be sad
41:41The road is deep and the sky is high
41:43I don't want to be sad