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Short filmTranscript
00:00Yeah, you know what I like, a black dress, that always works
00:29for me. Simple, you're gonna look stunning in it. Just make sure it's not silk. You
00:38know I hate silk. You can get a dress made of anything else in the world, steel
00:43wool, asphalt, concrete, it doesn't matter as long as it's not silk. I hate silk.
00:49Even just saying the word, I swear, it feels like I'm touching it, right? Like
00:54it's catching on my skin, sickening. I want to be with you. I want to be with
01:05you in all the pictures. Actually, you know what, I don't give a fuck about the
01:10pictures, I just want you in my arms. I want to touch you everywhere. I want to
01:16touch your legs. I want to touch your ass. I want to touch your stomach. I want...
01:24Yeah.
01:30Our stomach.
01:39Hey baby, listen, I got a call on the other line. I really should get going, so
01:43No, everything's, everything's the same as it has been, you know, and that's, that's,
01:50that's why I miss you so much. I fucking hate California. LA especially. It's a
01:59city of whores. Stupid city. Stupid, stupid, stupid city.
02:10Yeah, wait, hey, yeah. You know, actually, I think this is a really important call. I
02:18do really need to go, so honey, can you let me go? I, I love you too. You're my
02:28life. Seriously? What? No, I didn't hear anything. Probably a bad connection or
02:36something. Wait, what? I, I can't hear you. What?
02:46What was that?
02:56Wait, you heard that in Washington?
03:01Shit, shit, hey, babe, listen, I gotta go. I gotta make a call. Don't freak out on me,
03:10all right? It's fine. Everyone's safe, okay? Just don't, I have to call you back.
03:15Derek Straff speaking. No, we don't have a comment at this time. We need to ask
03:20that you... No, not now. Look, you're gonna have to call me back, okay? All right, listen, call back
03:25later. What was that? It was the ocean?
03:37Fuck. God damn it.
03:42Kind of in the... Hello? Hello? Yes, yes, yeah, sir, it's me, it's me.
03:50They've been calling, but I haven't told them anything yet, so... What?
03:57I'm sorry, sir, can you repeat that last thing? I couldn't hear you over the noise.
04:05Wow.
04:08Understood.
04:12You can count on me, sir. Absolutely. Yeah, I can be ready in five. Okay, so what are we
04:20telling them? Yeah. Yeah, got it. Yes. Okay, well, in terms of a timeline, how long can
04:33you expect the sound... Hello?
04:42Hello?
05:03Hey, it's fine. Nothing bad is gonna happen, okay?
05:10Not today, not ever. I'm safe.
05:19Have a drink, all right? It'll calm your nerves.
05:23Yeah, hey, listen, you're not gonna believe this. I just got off the phone with my boss,
05:41and he... Stop, stop, all right? Just stop and listen for a second, all right? He told me I'm
05:48gonna be the one to issue the statement to all media outlets at the same time. Yeah,
05:55me. I don't know, because he doesn't want to do it, because he thinks I'm more photogenic.
06:00Who gives a shit why? This is huge for us. Come on.
06:05Hey, calm down. Come on, relax. You're really gonna stress me out right now before the most
06:19important moment of my life? A lot of people have fucking kids, all right? That's not what
06:26this is about. I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna be known by every person in this fucking country.
06:33The ocean is a reliable rising tide containment system. It has protected the entire country for
06:40decades. It's not gonna fail today, baby. I'll be on the first flight to Washington after this.
06:46The sound is a natural occurrence. They told me it'll stop. It just sounds worse because of
06:52how it resonates, you know? It's like we're in the body of an acoustic guitar. So to us, it sounds...
06:58Well, I'm a press agent, not an engineer. So who gives a shit if I know how it works?
07:03Somebody else does. Yeah, I will. I'm gonna be the calming voice of a nation, and you can fuck off.
07:13Jesus.
07:27Hey, Jill, how's it going? Okay, Derek, get ready. Counting down from five. Hey,
07:46wait. What's the word from Washington? How come they're having me make the statement?
07:49I have no idea. It's nuts around here. All the higher-ups left, so now we're all running around
07:53like crazy. Good news is, I think we'll be dead for a race. Ocean has never held
07:58such a major press conference before. They left? Okay, get ready. Five. They all left! All of them!
08:09Jill?
08:23Jill?
08:53Jill?
09:23Jill?
09:53Jill?