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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30You
00:01:00But
00:01:08We live in a permissive society
00:01:10Not on this street. We don't everybody's at it not with me. They're not
00:01:16Girls are supposed to be crying out for it
00:01:20I'm the silent majority
00:01:22It's only manners these days total strangers do it now instead of shaking hands. God is love
00:01:30Jesus
00:01:32We've never seen him in real life though, and he's picturing the papers. Oh, come on, Sally
00:02:02Let's go
00:02:06But he might come in a minute
00:02:17Let's go. Oh
00:02:23No, I told you so didn't I feel all right to it now I don't fancy yours
00:02:29Which is mine any except the blonde. Oh
00:02:35Good
00:02:41Don't fancy yours
00:02:45Which is mine any except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs
00:02:52Thanks, neither do I
00:02:56Fancy the one with the twitch
00:03:00About as much as Mao Tse Tung's granddad with all due respect to his granddad
00:03:06Ask him if they do it
00:03:08you I
00:03:09Thought we were giving sex up. There's a protest at never getting any
00:03:13ignore them
00:03:22Hi, hi, hi. Hi
00:03:30Hi
00:03:32Peace man
00:03:34Were you hoping to see George your best? He's in Mallorca
00:03:39Come on, then. We only get an hour for lunch
00:03:43It's a discotheque in Albert Square
00:03:52Come on I thought we were going for tights
00:03:56It's our lunch hour, it's ours we were going for lunch
00:04:05Shall I tell you something pretty mind-blowing about Mallorca. It's one place. I've never been
00:04:12Pardon
00:04:14I'm Jeffrey. I don't have to be attached. I'm Beryl. I don't happen to be surprised
00:04:26You
00:04:41Don't you worry
00:04:44Love and rainy weather may sound funny, but they go together fine
00:04:56Every single time
00:05:01First you're up there
00:05:05Another plane and then you're no where and the tears are raining down
00:05:15It's a runaround
00:05:21Rainy weather
00:05:23Oh
00:05:32I'm going twisting tonight then
00:05:38That's the modern name for it isn't it what cutting a rug
00:05:44Pardon
00:05:45Grooving Mildred. It's called grooving nowadays grooving and or freaking right what I'm not doing tonight, right?
00:05:54Right on you stay in tonight then tonight tomorrow night every night
00:06:01I might sell me a coat life's not all pleasure. You know
00:06:06Mildred don't hassle the lad hustle
00:06:11It's a different world today Mildred
00:06:13We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this Finney had he cost they do their own thing
00:06:19the usual
00:06:211,300 weight
00:06:24Now that's the new world that we work for and fought for full-page advert for contraception, it's his birthright
00:06:35I'm not hungry. What's that supposed to mean? It's a hip way cool people say I'm not hungry
00:06:53I
00:07:00Enjoy staying in chatting of an evening
00:07:03Find it fantastic
00:07:06No, really, I really do some people don't I
00:07:12Do
00:07:14Beryl, please take my word for it Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell and invite you to the pictures
00:07:19Paul McCartney who he doesn't know you've been faithful to him ever since our day's night
00:07:24And please don't say Paul McCartney who I sacrificed too much for your six all levels
00:07:34Touched you terrific self-control
00:07:41What did you say your name was
00:07:50I
00:08:02Mind you just a weekend to do with you Paul not a dirty weekend a disgusting one
00:08:13Night night Percy filth
00:08:19I
00:08:24Have you always been insatiable
00:08:28It's not my fault it's just that I don't like blondes
00:08:36It's psychosomatic
00:08:40I'm sorry
00:08:49I
00:09:05Has almost blonde in this light
00:09:11What's wrong
00:09:14Just being brave
00:09:16What about?
00:09:17ending it all
00:09:20Before we hurt each other too much
00:09:23It's our first date
00:09:27Probably wasted your entire evening. Haven't I yet? What's if your parents aren't back till midnight?
00:09:37Don't you think you're too old for this sort of thing
00:09:41Straight from Stanley Matthews to Bridget Bardot you went overnight
00:09:46That was when you were too young for this sort of thing, it's artistic mother like you're Tutankhamen butter dish
00:10:03What got it got what
00:10:06You now ask if I never want to see you again. I say I do
00:10:11You then stop crying quick as a flash and say something like how about Sunday half seven outside Central Library? No, I don't
00:10:19Tomorrow off seven outside Central Library
00:10:23Then when I say okay does your zip miraculously undo it does not
00:10:29Thought it did not to give unfasten the press stud I
00:10:33I
00:10:36Can see her doing your irony and cooking and cleaning you wouldn't need to book for the Christmas pantomime
00:10:41I don't intend to marry a mother
00:10:44Guess it interferes with my career
00:10:46We're just good friends
00:10:48Good night
00:10:50I
00:11:02Miss Bardot
00:11:05Marry me
00:11:09You know what they say once you've had a Manchester lad you never touch anything else
00:11:20I
00:11:38Do satisfied I saved him for a change
00:11:47Did you
00:11:51Did you know that raping princess Anne was a capital offense not that I have done paid him for a change instead
00:11:58I
00:12:19Ain't got me ticket already see behind the girl
00:12:28I
00:12:40Well night's beauty sleeps done nothing for her snooty old bag
00:12:50Trendy crimson shoes with bottle green socks
00:12:54Must be going steady with a set of traffic lights
00:12:57Still who else would have him anyway, they're all the same in the dark
00:13:11Different girl every night. It's all the time
00:13:15Probably an omen seeing her before the match
00:13:18Bet we lose 3-1
00:13:21Well, I'm certainly not making the first move. At least I've got me proud
00:13:26Oh
00:13:29Hi didn't see you know me
00:13:34You're going that way yeah
00:13:36Not especially no
00:13:38You're going that
00:13:40Yeah, well
00:13:41No
00:13:44Going to the football match are you shopping?
00:13:47I
00:13:54Probably go into the pictures tonight. I am which which you any I am
00:14:06See you then tonight. Oh, all right, then, right
00:14:17Oh
00:14:19Super socks
00:14:24Did you see that they're all on drugs a lot of them
00:14:28Oh
00:14:46Let's go losing 3-1
00:14:58I
00:15:17Excuse me, I
00:15:22Only go to restaurants with deaf waiters
00:15:29Hi
00:15:31Hello mate
00:15:33Peace man surprise surprise
00:15:35Surprise in any way controversial pictures the boyfriend
00:15:40She's slim. I'm just going to the oh
00:15:46Are you in Berlin, you know
00:15:51Yeah
00:15:58Would you would you sort of reckon she's a
00:16:03Fair sort of bird
00:16:06She's all right
00:16:10I mean look it's sensational obviously Jeffrey. She's a bird
00:16:19You having a coffee with us no, thanks kid Neville's rabbiness
00:16:22Oh, of course, yeah, sorry
00:16:29Trying to do by implication
00:16:31Probably by implication was to allow the images to provoke a moral response from our own aesthetic judgment. You say
00:16:38Yes
00:16:41Was he the errand boy
00:16:43Yes, he was the errand boy. He was the errand boy. He was the errand boy
00:16:47He was the errand boy. He was the errand boy. He was the errand boy
00:16:51Was he the errand boy?
00:16:53Can thinking he directed it? Oh, yes. I
00:17:00Was probably thinking of Andy Warhol
00:17:03probably
00:17:07You're not like other boys at all, are you
00:17:11Well, probably a little more mature that's all it's over 200 yards from the cinema and you talk to me the whole way like a person
00:17:21All the boys seem to have one-track minds these days sex marriage
00:17:29The number of boys that asked me to marry them a
00:17:32Couple of dates and how they want to get married. I want to live a bit before I get married
00:17:37I suppose I just don't have a hang-up about it
00:17:41Get married. Hmm
00:17:44No
00:17:48Actually, I find girls and most girls it is
00:17:52They're obsessed these days not marriage no sex
00:18:03Sex that's what I said. Oh
00:18:07Well, I'm not like that
00:18:09Not passive-fold motivated
00:18:27Did you want to say any more about Andy Warhol Ken Russell, yeah
00:18:39I
00:18:52Won't come in with it being our first date. No
00:18:56Anyway, my mom's gone to bed would be on our own
00:18:59Is that a reason for me not coming in though?
00:19:10Mm-hmm nice house. Thank you 25-year mortgage
00:19:23Well, thanks for seeing me home
00:19:27Me and it first date with some
00:19:31It always leads to one of three things
00:19:34either nothing
00:19:36or something
00:19:40Or everything
00:19:43Don't think about Percy filth at this stage barrel
00:19:48No, I'm not
00:19:51Night night. God bless
00:20:04I won't give you me phone number in case you think I'm one of those scheming females. What is it?
00:20:10327 double 4 2 1
00:20:11The easy way to remember it is the 3 and the 2 make 5 which is 2 less than 7 then 2 4s and half of 4
00:20:17Which is 2 and half of 2 which is 1?
00:20:20But you mustn't ring me if you don't want no, but you can if you do
00:20:24Do you want me to not if you'd rather not?
00:20:273 2 7 double 4 2 1
00:20:39Oh
00:21:01Well, hello mrs. Battersby barrels brought you up a cup of tea all of a past life flash before me then
00:21:10I
00:21:11Can't be Mother's Day. You'd have forgotten
00:21:15Has there been any clips mom? I want the benefit of your experience
00:21:22What you think of Andy Warhol
00:21:24See Jeffrey has this theory that by implication
00:21:28Jeffrey of course Jeffrey knows about these things. Oh
00:21:31these things
00:21:33Everything who's Jeffrey he's fantastically intelligent see Jeffrey's idea Beryl who's Jeffrey
00:21:47No one special
00:21:53His name's Jeffrey
00:21:59And this barrel bird turn out last night then barrel bird
00:22:03I told him did she yeah
00:22:06Did she yeah?
00:22:08What?
00:22:12Wow
00:22:15She doesn't then you don't listen dear I said about Sandra
00:22:27Chips
00:22:34I've not seen him tonight then
00:22:40Who
00:22:45I'd rather better things to do. Thank you
00:22:55Said he was no one special got a phone here boy
00:23:03They haven't have they
00:23:05Do you want to get some looky lined up or something?
00:23:08If I did do you think I'd be playing darts with you to look are you fed up here?
00:23:13Are you well split after this game anything you say and go for a few of the Kingshead great
00:23:21And that ends our probe well Monday tomorrow
00:23:25Yeah, I
00:23:27Don't know what you're paying for that phone, but whatever it is. You're being done
00:23:31Good night
00:24:01Morning
00:24:10John for Pope long may reign amen
00:24:15What's going on pounds up again? Oh?
00:24:18God
00:24:20Today's special bloody travelers Jackson. Yeah
00:24:24Suddenly everyone's going on holiday except those
00:24:28Enjoy yourself while you young
00:24:31I
00:24:46Why do we always do that 93 times a day we never see anything
00:25:01I
00:25:12Heard the maiden singing
00:25:16My typing not disturbing you're singing a hope see Jeffrey on Sunday. Oh
00:25:23Jeffrey that Neville's the greatest
00:25:27Is he dishy or is he dishy
00:25:33I'm considering back in Jeffrey in
00:25:37One day it was enough why?
00:25:40He's cancer, and I'm Libra that bad hopeless
00:25:46Actually, I'm slightly off the male gender at the moment
00:25:56I
00:26:13See the Spanish police are throwing your lot out of Ibiza
00:26:17bank clocks
00:26:18your lot
00:26:20football supporters
00:26:22hippies oh
00:26:24My lot
00:26:40That's it then fate all over by 723 precisely
00:26:48So what plenty more where she came from
00:26:55Is that the speaking clock is that barrel yes, yes
00:27:05Hi
00:27:24It's terrifically exciting isn't it fantastic
00:27:32I want to know all about you. That's what it's all about
00:27:39For example with things in common already definitely
00:27:45But what
00:27:48We normally
00:27:52Right
00:27:55And we're both from Manchester
00:28:00Have you ever been abroad no
00:28:04Have you know
00:28:07Unless you count Istanbul mr.. Was it beyond belief. I don't know
00:28:17I
00:28:24Do
00:28:29No just just sometimes
00:28:35Yes, I do
00:28:39Such a lot
00:28:42In getting to know
00:28:48He
00:28:49Was live and easy limbed his stride quietly casual
00:28:54His eyes clear and confident and his strong mouth ready to break into a relaxed assured
00:29:02lopsided grin
00:29:06You know Jeffrey you have a really lopsided grin really you know lopsided I
00:29:13I
00:29:15Don't think I have it's in the eye of the beholder
00:29:21See
00:29:23Jeffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot he holds it down with his little finger
00:29:30It must be marvelous being a man
00:29:33It's okay. I suppose men can do anything
00:29:37Conquer Everest do heart transplants become leader of the opposition
00:29:44Anything
00:29:53Jeffrey no spells no
00:29:56It's good for your circulation barrel read any women's magazine. It's good for theirs, too
00:30:01Not sure they recommend Percy filth on Tuesdays
00:30:04I only see on Tuesdays and Saturdays all Saturdays
00:30:14Oh
00:30:20Oh
00:30:22Are you all right? What exactly happened? Don't tell me I just had a sharper chuck of dramatic irony
00:30:34Come back the best it's better. I'm okay
00:30:43It's not
00:30:51It's only the angels crying I
00:30:55Know how they feel
00:30:57Well, don't blame me. I haven't done anything. That's true
00:31:02That's not true barrel. I have apologized
00:31:06Going down on me knees when I'm talking to you
00:31:09Independent observers think I'm training to be a Cossack dancer
00:31:12It must be a bad line. I can't hear you. You better apologize again. I
00:31:18Apologize again
00:31:20Gosh this lousy line
00:31:28Pardon pardon
00:31:31Is that who I think it is no dear
00:31:45Well, isn't this nice
00:31:51Sardine sandwich the old sardine. Yeah, she got her own trawler
00:32:01I
00:32:03Isn't it awful what I was speaking to Jeffrey what's happening in the world? I blame the politicians
00:32:12For what's happening in the world
00:32:23Tasty very loyal
00:32:31The bread is extremely wholesome why up this little baker down the road he does something with a bleach
00:32:40Yes
00:32:47Can't do long conversations about sardines sandwiches
00:33:01All that never honestly number of arts he must have broken every girl in Manchester nearly
00:33:09Jeffrey definitely has probably even more
00:33:13air hostesses
00:33:15all sorts
00:33:18Tell me about your terrible past Jeffrey. I haven't had one yet
00:33:22White man speak with forked tongue
00:33:24Actually, I was hoping more for a terrible future
00:33:31Wow
00:33:33Wow, is that the time but this moment in time what I've done is never the insanely jealous type right in the slightest
00:33:42You're lucky. Why is Jeffrey?
00:33:45Wow
00:33:46You're not jealous of all my ex flames. Are you of course not? Why should I be please stop interrogating me Jeffrey forget it
00:33:55That's all in the past
00:33:58Then nothing to be jealous about
00:34:03Who needs drama
00:34:06So I shouted back at her no shop assistant shots at me I shouted in the end never nearly bolted me for swearing
00:34:13He thought you
00:34:16What up to one? No, I said nearly
00:34:20You
00:34:23Never thump me will ya like Neville does Sandra she adores it
00:34:31No
00:34:34Jeffrey Percy filth isn't the only thing in life didn't even one of the things in mine used to talk to me
00:34:40All right, let's talk
00:34:42Jeffrey I've just had the most super idea. Why is your mum going out?
00:34:48May as well pack in really
00:34:52Why
00:34:54Why not
00:34:57Good thinking
00:35:05Thanks for stimulating few weeks
00:35:08You too, it was real psychedelic
00:35:11You can keep me grateful dead LP was scratched anyway
00:35:15It's been a gasp
00:35:17Groovy I
00:35:19Won't wave from the window. Oh, but look back anyway good
00:35:24It's been a gasp. You've said that once
00:35:38You're well read barrel, there's plenty more fish in the sea
00:35:43About three very lonely sardines
00:35:48Mother please don't try raising one eyebrow at me. You know, you can't do it
00:35:59I
00:36:02Just had the most super I
00:36:05Just had the most super I
00:36:12That
00:36:15Sandra Sandra your Sandra mine
00:36:23Two months two months nine days
00:36:28Is she positive the test was what you're gonna do
00:36:34She'll think of something Sandra. It's stupendous
00:36:40Congratulations, I hope you both be very happy. Oh, thanks kid
00:36:44Sandra I don't know how you do it
00:36:48Often
00:37:04I
00:37:34John
00:37:42Pope
00:37:50Aren't you? Yeah
00:37:55And you're that's right
00:37:59Going somewhere incredible I'm meeting my parents taking them to see fiddler on the roof
00:38:04That's pretty incredible
00:38:05Your mummy and daddy. Oh
00:38:10Hell no, that's tomorrow if I'm in the mood
00:38:16Where you up depends where you take me
00:38:20I
00:38:31Was saying about your friend with the glasses
00:38:34Is that I found him intellectually unaware and psychologically incredibly boring it's not bad at snooker
00:38:43And how are you in little barrel
00:38:46Didn't you tell you I packed her in
00:38:58Did she tell you
00:39:06I'm really loved see one you see them all
00:39:10Oh
00:39:23It must be my birthday
00:39:28Boys aren't the only thing in life barrel. I do wish you'd find one
00:39:37They aren't all after Percy Phil's
00:39:40Yes, they are
00:39:42Mm-hmm. Oh, you were terrific
00:39:46Wasn't mm-hmm
00:39:50Terrific self-control
00:39:53Joan of Arc never married yet. She led a full and happy life. What am I thinking of someone else?
00:39:59Mother I don't happen to be interested in boys
00:40:01I happen to be interested in having early nights and writing poetry in bed with me. Mo felt it pen
00:40:06It's run out of ink. I used it for me laundry list. I
00:40:10Got your generation's got a few things to answer for
00:40:18Please you can't ravish your girl in her own doorstep
00:40:24Let's go inside then
00:40:26smooth-talking bastard
00:40:28I
00:40:40Don't believe that question you used to be crazy about him. I
00:40:45Was 11 years old. He used to let me choke on his tortoise
00:40:59Oh
00:41:19What's your name again, what's yours rock that's not your real name
00:41:26No, that's Steven
00:41:29God that turns me on
00:41:37When I first met you in the street, I thought just a quiet drink and a chat shows you the art of conversation in dead
00:41:49Don't move a muscle however gorgeous
00:41:59I
00:42:19Testing testing Oh Jeffrey mini app returns of the day. I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself
00:42:29I
00:42:42Fed up
00:42:45Who are you oh
00:42:49What you fed up about
00:42:51Teachers don't have to do homework
00:42:54No, they just market
00:42:57Anyone can market they've got the answers
00:43:05Do you know it's after two o'clock what's he doing here then
00:43:12Well, this is your uncle Steven this is my revolting brother Jeremy
00:43:20How'd you do
00:43:22Dummy moment dad. No, he's here Jeremy bed. I could always wake him up and tell him Jeremy
00:43:29Little boys need sleep
00:43:33Even big astronauts, do you know where babies come from?
00:43:39Do you
00:43:41Say no, no, I don't
00:43:44No, I don't
00:43:46Shall I tell you he knows
00:43:48The man has this male organ and some blood cells and erectile glands
00:43:53And there's these 500 million spermatozoa's in these testes that he has as well
00:43:58And it goes through his male organ into the female uterus at the lady house
00:44:03Who told you that then they go to the fallopian tubes after that one of them fertilizes with the female egg
00:44:09The others don't bother
00:44:11Anyway, that's what you have to do then you have a baby
00:44:17Teach you that at school. They don't would work in the next class
00:44:21People can only make babies at certain times of the year, but animals like dogs and cats
00:44:26Oh, yes, I think do it all the time
00:44:31No, that's people what is
00:44:38Well people do it all the time
00:44:42You
00:44:44Whenever they feel like it
00:44:50In the next class you do better work if you don't like would work
00:44:55Good night, Jeremy
00:44:5825p 50
00:45:0250
00:45:12Good night uncle Steven
00:45:29Would you care for a government health warning
00:45:34Hey Veronica
00:45:35Yes, who the hell's uncle Steven at 10 past 2 in the morning a friend of Jeremy's he's going now
00:45:44Good night, love
00:45:49And how
00:45:55Can you anyway do you good going without for a change
00:46:05Another day tomorrow tomorrow's another day
00:46:15Well, I'm joining the rains for three years
00:46:20What Rennes the Royal Navy's
00:46:26This time tomorrow, I'll be in barracks with about 50 other girls and 30,000 sailors. I hope I like it
00:46:36Well, thanks, thanks for nearly everything
00:46:40We definitely would have done one way
00:46:44As good as dead in a way really almost just keep telling yourself
00:46:54Job
00:47:06I
00:47:17Morning previous generation
00:47:26What's for breakfast
00:47:29You
00:47:31Knew it was your mother's birthday
00:47:33Now what we'd like to know is where were you while we were fiddling on the flaming roof? I'm sorry mom
00:47:39I'll take you out another night something cropped up like what?
00:47:43Dad you understand I
00:47:47Don't Jeffrey
00:47:49We always say you do
00:47:51Jeffrey you're at it every night
00:47:53Yes, dad, and we don't complain last night was different I knew you'd understand
00:48:23I
00:48:30Chant the Pope on me around
00:48:33What's going on pounds down again up and down like a pair of knickers you should know or me
00:48:42Not me
00:48:44What a night a
00:48:48Lot
00:48:50Including action replays in slow motion
00:48:56Hey lads, I picked up a bit of spare last night who didn't know it's true
00:49:03Yes, it is yes Jeffrey
00:49:12Bloody is
00:49:14Poor
00:49:16Jeffrey Beryl, please. It's Neville's engagement party as well. You had to invite him. You'll see me. It's cruel
00:49:25See other girls
00:49:27shan't take him back Sandra I
00:49:30Shant he's been two weeks. He may have got over you by now
00:49:36Don't know much about men do you love
00:49:45You
00:50:02It was doing him a kindness really finally splitting up he only had one ambition in life
00:50:10Send my knickers to Oxfam
00:50:15A
00:50:16Good job. She hasn't joined the rent the entire Navy gone strike. I
00:50:21Expect you. Sorry now. I
00:50:24Won't even consider taking him back if he isn't
00:50:27She might change the polls
00:50:30If she has I might let her have the odd orgy now and again
00:50:33He's got to accept. We finally split up. Otherwise, I definitely won't take him back
00:50:38And
00:50:42I'm certainly not making the first move. He's still got me pride
00:50:48Beryl baby. Oh, hi didn't see it. No, no me
00:50:54And how's Manchester City doing without me cheering them on then United we're winning every game now
00:51:01Good and what's new with Jeffrey then?
00:51:09I asked you what was new
00:51:16Did you need I say more
00:51:20How's Beryl baby getting on
00:51:24Jeffrey I'm not all that ecstatic about you calling me Beryl baby. It isn't like you
00:51:30Beryl baby
00:51:33What's your name handsome
00:51:36You'll laugh everybody laughs it's a story of my life you tell it like it is Chuck
00:51:50She's put on an act what do you care I don't
00:52:02Is she going to get into bed with him now
00:52:06Probably
00:52:10Jeffrey always looks out for sleep these days. Well, it's very exhausting
00:52:16It is
00:52:19Working in a bank
00:52:27And this bad scene decided to split
00:52:32So I cut out
00:52:39This cat gets it together where he's at
00:52:44Lots of beautiful bag, baby. So if you want a piece of the action don't pull it
00:52:53Big
00:52:58Sorry, I know understand English
00:53:01I
00:53:09Thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one
00:53:13She has and which is her husband neither
00:53:31Great beat isn't it great to dance to
00:53:40Do you agree that life's an onion
00:53:44If so, what's death
00:53:52Yes, I expect it is when you think about it you read Schopenhauer's concept of existence
00:54:02No, but I've seen the film you married
00:54:07No, grab yourself an adage marriage is a cabbage
00:54:16Never ask the questions ask the answers
00:54:22To any manager Martin Spencer's
00:54:25I
00:54:28Really dirty now, he's taking his clothes off
00:54:34What's an ITV this what's on BBC
00:54:43Cutting over what's that like this?
00:54:48Let's get this what's what let's get it clear. Let's get down to the real nitty-gritties Phil, okay?
00:55:05Women's lip is not about burning bras papers. Yeah
00:55:11What papers?
00:55:13Let's be basic about this evening all girls want marriage and a white really base you want to be really basic
00:55:21utterly basic balls
00:55:26Enid when Sandra says every girl she means most girls like herself not me of course because I incredibly value my independence
00:55:34I'm a woman. I'm a woman. I'm a woman. I'm a woman
00:55:39Like herself not me, of course because I incredibly value my independence, but most girls definitely want all
00:55:47If you can't conduct an intelligent conversation without recourse to recourse into anything, I'm maybe telling you what girls want
00:55:57Would you please stop saying that
00:56:00Free love right wrong. I believe in free everything freedom from all male chauvinist pig domination
00:56:07Honestly, don't you understand excuse me?
00:56:12Excuse me excuse me
00:56:21It's pleasure grass Jeffrey you've not I said don't you not to smoke it
00:56:38Wow
00:56:39We're as liberated as you eat it. We've equal importance as individuals neither of us is boss just doesn't arise
00:56:50You see what we now
00:56:55You see I can see there's only one way to get through
00:57:01I
00:57:06Think everybody's fire
00:57:11Learn my bra
00:57:16Right finished the end full stop
00:57:22We finally split up Neville Sandra wants you I should imagine
00:57:29Sad isn't it
00:57:32Pathetic
00:57:38Well, I can't follow plays these days, it's just showing real life, that's all
00:57:48Once thought I'd found a
00:57:51Perfect girl
00:57:53Red hair not too skinny
00:57:57Very gentle and shy
00:58:02Passionate when roused
00:58:06She popped me in for picking my teeth with a matchstick you're very sweet
00:58:12I've always thought you were
00:58:17Did you know you're very nearly have a lopsided grin it's just I'm a bit tired no, it's nice
00:58:31I
00:58:48Don't think I've washed that one
00:58:54Do you know what she can ask me anything
00:58:57Do you know where Jeffrey's got to he's upstairs I think
00:59:11Is it to the John they're old
00:59:23Trouble but I think I'm dying
00:59:27She said I shouldn't smoke it
00:59:38Jeffrey
00:59:45Sorry
00:59:52Jeffrey
00:59:58Jeffrey put your legs
01:00:05It's because it's your first time isn't it
01:00:13Call dr. Wise quillm slow road
01:00:21It wasn't marijuana, you know
01:00:24What was it then grass
01:00:27Grass is marijuana
01:00:30This glass wasn't
01:00:33It was the real thing
01:00:36From the front lawn
01:00:46That you barrel
01:00:54I
01:00:55Don't know his time
01:00:57Even though it's three o'clock in the morning
01:01:00Not that I mind if you've had a nice time
01:01:03Even though I've been in bed since 10 having a good night's worry
01:01:08Did you see Jeffrey
01:01:12That's good
01:01:23You
01:01:32Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard I
01:01:37Didn't try at all gave me to rest
01:01:44I'm right off birds. I am I am
01:01:49For good
01:01:51Me too and me
01:02:13The folly your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel
01:02:21I
01:02:51Oh
01:03:16Jeffrey
01:03:19Can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you Oh
01:03:24Bell Oh
01:03:29Jeffrey Oh God
01:03:43Hello
01:03:46Will you be required in the room again sir, because we're thinking of taking bookings for the next pop festival
01:04:04Hello
01:04:06Who my god that's symbolic Oh, hello barrel. I'm just ringing to tell you I never want to see you again
01:04:15Because I shan't be in tonight or any other night anyway tonight, I'm helping me mum at the school jumble sale
01:04:46A
01:04:48Small world
01:04:52Good evening, mrs. Battersby. I was looking for a nice lampshade. Oh
01:04:59Probably this one
01:05:01Definitely magic in satin. Oh
01:05:05Who's here in his nice crimson shoes
01:05:07You'd like some nice fancy wrapping paper, wouldn't you I'm a child of the universe barrel have a right to be here
01:05:20I'm afraid we don't sell marijuana on Sundays. Try the co-op, but if you can smell burning
01:05:24It's just the Vic has been around burning his jockstrap. Oh, listen
01:05:27Have you got that in another color? No, madam. I'll leave it then
01:05:38I
01:05:40Listen to what for heaven's sake
01:05:43Don't matter what doesn't you wouldn't anyway wouldn't what?
01:05:49Go to the match with me on Saturday
01:05:52Me a football match with 40,000 skinheads and you
01:05:58told you
01:06:00How are they playing
01:06:02I
01:06:06Just feel town in the car. I've always wanted to watch how to spill town
01:06:16The fourth from the bottom shows you
01:06:23Away from home the one three drawn five and lost twelve
01:06:32So, what do you think I think I nearly love you
01:07:02I thought he said you nearly loved me
01:07:15I don't recall Grace Kelly enticing Prince Rainier by going to watch United. I may be wrong
01:07:23We live in a permissive society barrel read any color supplement mother you're supposed to be my mother
01:07:29I am love and it wasn't through going to football matches
01:07:34You are the same mother that makes me took me skirt down every time I stand up even if he's only on the phone
01:07:38Yes, so well
01:07:40Boys are very safe and I am your mother. That's what I said. I
01:07:47Don't mean permissive permissive
01:07:52Romantic
01:07:55Pardon kissing cuddling
01:07:58Things of that nature
01:08:02Well, we do do what what you just said good
01:08:07Not too much. I hope Oh God boys are very funny the novices compared to mothers
01:08:18Did I tell you that two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains Oh
01:08:23No
01:08:27Two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains
01:08:32Fantastic
01:08:37The cowgills
01:08:40Mr. And mrs. Cowgill married couple
01:08:45Newlyweds not long married
01:08:48You go bald doing that doing what?
01:08:53I
01:09:04Tell you 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains living in sin
01:09:13Can you say one single sentence without the word marriage in it
01:09:16If
01:09:21I said to you do you think Cassius Clay would have beaten Rocky Marciano?
01:09:25Would you say what's it matter so long as they're happily married? I
01:09:28Don't think so
01:09:31Beryl would
01:09:35Giving you a bad time. Is she I wouldn't say that. I
01:09:41I
01:09:43Haven't even mentioned the word what word
01:09:47Goodness me a single person can have a relationship with another single person without everyone thinking. She's automatically. I never said you were think it
01:09:55All right, Jeffrey I hereby promise never to utter the word again
01:10:01Marriage never
01:10:05Well until I am if I ever do which I fervently hope I never will
01:10:11I
01:10:15I
01:10:17I
01:10:19I
01:10:21I
01:10:23Will someone who's not uttering something when's your LP coming out?
01:10:31No two people have a divine right to happiness Jeffrey you mustn't feel guilty about me
01:10:38Sorry
01:10:40No one can say you've completely ruined me life not yet
01:10:53Oh
01:10:56You all right son terrific, why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat then your mother's theory is you're overworking
01:11:04Hmm my theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird. Oh
01:11:09What's your theory indigestion Oh
01:11:14What's your Sundance
01:11:17I
01:11:17Think he said anything at all. Yeah, I said one thing. Oh, what's that?
01:11:21It's got it meant sardines to be in oil it had given them dipsticks. All right
01:11:27The weeks and months dragged by and with neither side willing to compromise we still have deadlocked
01:11:34Her Majesty's government have consistently tried to find a way out of this dilemma
01:11:39Another wild night learning what I know spells and how many of her school pals are getting married and what I know spells
01:11:46and what I know spells great I
01:11:49Might as well go bald and open me a monastery and so society that you and me says
01:11:55End this dispute
01:11:58End it now
01:12:00Good night area
01:12:02Good one day
01:12:04terrific
01:12:05Especially when he said good night
01:12:08We're just enjoying ourselves
01:12:12Just having fun
01:12:16Take two a day after meals and one if you find yourself crying hard out again in the middle of a zebra crossing for no
01:12:23reason at all
01:12:26You're sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend absolutely positive
01:12:33That was the first film we ever saw together
01:12:37Make that three a day after meals
01:12:47Oh
01:12:49Beryl how's this for a peace plan?
01:12:52You join a marriage bureau and I'll get a job on the stage twice nightly in Denmark. Then we'll both be happy right?
01:13:00right
01:13:01Good Jesus Christ superstar. Amen. Oh
01:13:07Thumbs up again. See you tomorrow. Do you think you're good?
01:13:17Jeffrey I'll get the side. It's important
01:13:21What is I
01:13:24Keep asking you what is
01:13:28What is
01:13:30To be on our own
01:13:34So as we can talk
01:13:36What
01:13:42Had a whole speech worked out on the bus this morning
01:13:47The only bit I can remember is and that's what I think
01:13:51Last night. I dreamt I was in goal for Manchester United and Grace Kelly kicked nine goals past me
01:13:56Grace ooh, she was playing for United as well
01:13:59Weird, isn't it?
01:14:07The main thing is we do communicate
01:14:27No, you mine wasn't important her mom wasn't
01:14:37You
01:14:41Beryl
01:14:45Are you
01:14:48Happy of course
01:14:50very I
01:14:53Am no one is every second of every minute of every day
01:15:01No, I'm not
01:15:07Do you think it's because we love each other do you think
01:15:17Probably not actually said the words often not in so many words mostly in words to that effect
01:15:37Is there anything you don't love about me
01:15:42No, I don't think so honestly now
01:15:45Nothing if there is there isn't you just tell me and I'll stop doing it. There isn't anything honest good
01:15:54It wouldn't upset me it should just make me a better human being to deserve your love
01:16:03Like you know
01:16:06Crimson shoes and bottle green socks
01:16:10Well, you don't wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks bow if I did I'd stop to please you
01:16:20See
01:16:25It's no need to be sensitive Jeffrey in a meaningful relationship you must like even what you don't
01:16:30Your mother
01:16:32I like your mother. Please don't sulk Jeffrey and a lampshades sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person
01:16:40Well, you ought to know you've almost made it an art form
01:16:43Anything else at random you got 24 hours to spare after all I'm no Bridget Bardot
01:16:49According to reliable sources in Santa Pesce
01:16:51She's under than five next birthday over 98% of the male population of Manchester and Salford can tell the difference between Bridget Bardot and Beryl
01:16:57Batters big ask any opinion pole. I'm much fatter for a start. You're not all that fat Beryl
01:17:02I am start slimming men like something to get hold of if they're allowed to get hold of it
01:17:08You always succeed in getting back to Percy filthy in the end. Don't you always no, I don't barrel you do
01:17:14I always fail. Do you know what some girls find extremely likable the extremely likable way some boys stare at every girl
01:17:20They see boys like it when girls tell them what I know spells especially for the six hundred and twenty-five year old
01:17:26Especially for the six hundred time that they really dig
01:17:29You never say dig I did then
01:17:33Your passion unrequited love for eleven boring men kicking a ball about that's really lovable. I never knew you thought that
01:17:44Do now though
01:17:46You
01:17:53Used to say dig for I met you
01:17:59You say all sorts of things
01:18:05There's a lot about me I can't even remember
01:18:16You
01:18:29Thinking what I'm thinking
01:18:33Thanks, sir, we just don't like each other at all
01:18:46Oh
01:18:54Good luck piece man
01:19:00St. Anne's Square St. Anne's Square, please
01:19:03Oh
01:19:13So that just leaves a cot two matinee coats two romper suits
01:19:19And what else do I need? Oh
01:19:22Yes a ring TV ring
01:19:26wedding ring oh
01:19:29They have gorgeous prams in the shops these days no wonder everyone's at it. Oh
01:19:35Sorry
01:19:37What about skip it?
01:19:40About time to which is sympathy not that I need any actually I've never been as happy in my life
01:19:47She doesn't know that
01:19:49If I'm looking miserable Sandra, it's because I'm feeling happy for you. Yeah
01:19:58We know what you must be thinking of course we do how to pop the pink without going in off
01:20:08Ace she used to wear pink, you know, I won't tell you where
01:20:17The hell of a lot more where I came from Wow
01:20:20Did you want the chalk Jeffrey I know spells
01:20:30Super day for it. Hmm sin being inside a day like this
01:20:36Well Sandra
01:20:38This is it. Yep, the big day. Yeah come into the crotch crunch. I
01:20:46Dare say it'll hardly break me heart in the slightest seen him again
01:20:50You mustn't think I'll be crying inside because I most definitely won't be
01:20:55And what's more? No one will know that I am because I shan't
01:20:59truly
01:21:02Sandra please you've enough to think of
01:21:08It's a big day for you as well really
01:21:15And now one of the bride and groom on their own
01:21:18If you mind stepping back sir, they're fine
01:21:23Yeah about there lovely
01:21:25You can kiss the bride on this one, sir. Wow official permission to actually kiss her
01:21:33Oh, sorry, that's right
01:21:43Funny I remember the Friday lunch time they first met
01:21:48How have you been absolutely great you never better ever
01:21:58It's all over now by the salmon salad
01:22:04It's life
01:22:06I
01:22:12See president Nixon went to China
01:22:15That's before we ever met
01:22:18Why something happened about it no no to trouble you for the salad cream, please
01:22:27Speaking personally, I think there are enough problems to sort out on earth without going to the moon
01:22:33Nixon
01:22:36No the astronauts, oh
01:22:41So I've been sweethearts, I feel sorry for
01:22:46We never really talked did we about things that matter
01:22:50Good in it shows with friends now that we know we don't like each other
01:22:55Everybody thinks we're broken-hearted
01:22:58I
01:23:01Have really grown up, aren't we?
01:23:03My mother's convinced herself was split up because we had too much Percy filth
01:23:07I'm right off it myself
01:23:09I've been able to walk off buses perfectly normally for the past few weeks. Oh
01:23:13I expect it's only temporary. I hope not. It's marvelous
01:23:18good I
01:23:19Don't fancy you in the slightest now. Thank you love
01:23:22I
01:23:26Still off the food I noticed
01:23:32And we've learned a fantastic amount for the future
01:23:35Fantastic for example say I finally did marry someone like you only someone. I love I bet
01:23:41I'd now let him wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks every night
01:23:46In bed a bear
01:23:48And
01:23:51You'll probably meet some little fatty who's never even heard of Kenny Warhol and marry a three days later
01:23:58We probably won't see each other at all now with pals
01:24:02Expect you going to the match this afternoon. Oh, yeah, I'm helping Sandra Packer going away case. Where's she going hospital?
01:24:13Well, we'll bump into each other sometime
01:24:18I
01:24:48I
01:24:57Hello mrs. Battersby, yeah, you won't remember me
01:25:05Is this barrel there, please
01:25:12There is no football it's cricket now, well, it's the same thing, isn't it
01:25:18Oh
01:25:39Hi
01:25:42That's the kickoff
01:25:44In about three months
01:25:47Football season's over now barrel. Oh, what on earth did you want to come for?
01:25:52Forgot I'm not all that interested these days
01:25:58Where we go now then
01:26:04Could always go inside and practice booing for next season
01:26:10Well you
01:26:11Might go and get a new pair of tights
01:26:14Hey, it's like the countryside, it's it when it's empty
01:26:18fanciest stroll in the country
01:26:19There's well if you like don't mind why not
01:26:24Just as friends. Oh, I meant just as friends. Yeah, I did
01:26:35Wish we had a ball
01:26:38I'll play shooting in
01:26:41You could go in goal
01:26:49Amazing how people change, isn't it?
01:27:10You
01:27:17Well, we're certainly much happier without each other
01:27:22We'll be even happier with someone else anyone really
01:27:34There's millions to choose from
01:27:37All nearly exactly right for us
01:27:41You'll find someone Jeffrey
01:27:44You will barrel
01:27:46Just a matter of keeping your eyes open really
01:27:49Picking one out of the crowd
01:28:10And
01:28:30You'll find sometimes
01:28:34Rainy weather can turn outside
01:28:37Getting wet together
01:29:07You