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Short filmTranscript
00:00Yeah, you know what I like, a black dress, that always works
00:29for me. Simple, you're gonna look stunning in it. Just make sure it's not silk. You
00:38know I hate silk. You can get a dress made of anything else in the world, steel
00:43wool, asphalt, concrete, it doesn't matter as long as it's not silk. I hate silk.
00:49Even just saying the word, I swear, it feels like I'm touching it, right? Like
00:54it's catching on my skin, sickening. I want to be with you. I want to be with
01:05you in all the pictures. Actually, you know what, I don't give a fuck about the
01:10pictures, I just want you in my arms. I want to touch you everywhere. I want to
01:16touch your legs. I want to touch your ass. I want to touch your stomach. I want...
01:24Yeah.
01:30Our stomach.
01:39Hey baby, listen, I got a call on the other line. I really should get going, so
01:43No, everything's, everything's the same as it has been, you know, and that's, that's,
01:50that's why I miss you so much. I fucking hate California. LA especially. It's a
01:59city of whores. Stupid city. Stupid, stupid, stupid city.
02:10Yeah, wait, hey, yeah. You know, actually, I think this is a really important call. I
02:18do really need to go, so honey, can you let me go? I, I love you too. You're my
02:28life. Seriously? What? No, I didn't hear anything. Probably a bad connection or
02:36something. Wait, what? I, I can't hear you. What?
02:46What was that?
02:56Wait, you heard that in Washington?
03:01Shit, shit, hey, babe, listen, I gotta go. I gotta make a call. Don't freak out on me,
03:10all right? It's fine. Everyone's safe, okay? Just don't, I have to call you back.
03:15Derek Straff speaking. No, we don't have a comment at this time. We need to ask
03:20that you... No, not now. Look, you're gonna have to call me back, okay? All right, listen, call back
03:25later. What was that? It was the ocean?
03:37Fuck. God damn it.
03:42Kind of in the... Hello? Hello? Yes, yes, yeah, sir, it's me, it's me.
03:50They've been calling, but I haven't told them anything yet, so... What?
03:57I'm sorry, sir, can you repeat that last thing? I couldn't hear you over the noise.
04:05Wow.
04:08Understood.
04:12You can count on me, sir. Absolutely. Yeah, I can be ready in five. Okay, so what are we
04:20telling them? Yeah. Yeah, got it. Yes. Okay, well, in terms of a timeline, how long can
04:33you expect the sound... Hello?
04:41No.
05:03Hey, it's fine. Nothing bad is gonna happen, okay?
05:10Not today, not ever. I'm safe.
05:19Have a drink, all right? It'll calm your nerves.
05:36Yeah, hey, listen, you're not gonna believe this. I just got off the phone
05:39with my boss, and he... Stop, stop, all right? Just stop and listen for a second, all right?
05:46He told me I'm gonna be the one to issue the statement to all media outlets at
05:52the same time. Yeah, me. I don't know, because he doesn't want to do it, because
05:59he thinks I'm more photogenic. Who gives a shit why? This is huge for us. Come on.
06:09Hey, calm down. Come on, relax.
06:16You're really gonna stress me out right now before the most important moment of
06:21my life? A lot of people have fucking kids, all right? That's not what this is
06:26about. I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna be known by every person in this
06:31fucking country. Ocean is a reliable rising tide containment system. It has
06:38protected the entire country for decades. It's not gonna fail today, baby. I'll be
06:43on the first flight to Washington after this. The sound is a natural
06:48occurrence. They told me it'll stop. It just sounds worse because of how it
06:53resonates. You know, it's like we're in the body of an acoustic guitar, so to us
06:57it sounds... Well, I'm a press agent, not an engineer, so who gives a shit if I know
07:04how it works? Somebody else does. Yeah, I will. I'm gonna be the calming voice of a
07:12nation, and you can fuck off. Jesus.
07:34Hey, Jill, how's it going?
07:39Okay, Derek, get ready. Counting down from five.
07:41Hey, wait. What's the word from Washington? How come they're having me make the statement?
07:43I have no idea. It's nuts around here. All the higher-ups left, so now we're all running around like crazy.
07:45Good news is, I think we'll be dead or a rave. Ocean has never held such a major press conference before.
07:47They left?
07:49Okay, get ready. Five...
07:51They all left!
07:53I'm gonna be the calming voice of a nation, and you can fuck off.
07:55Okay, Derek, get ready. Counting down from five.
07:57Hey, wait. What's the word from Washington? How come they're having me make the statement?
07:59I have no idea. It's nuts around here. All the higher-ups left, so now we're all running around like crazy.
08:01Okay, get ready. Five...
08:03They all left!
08:05All of them!
08:07Four...
08:09Jill?
08:11Two...
08:31One...
08:33Two...
08:35Three...
08:37Four...
08:39Five...
08:41Six...
08:43Seven...
08:45Eight...
08:47Nine...
08:49Ten...
08:51Eleven...
08:53Twelve...
08:55Thirteen...
08:57Fourteen...
08:59Fifteen...
09:01Sixteen...
09:03Seventeen...
09:05Eighteen...
09:07Nineteen...
09:09Twenty-one...
09:11Twenty-two...
09:13Twenty-three...
09:15Twenty-four...
09:17Twenty-five...
09:19Twenty-six...
09:21Twenty-seven...
09:23Twenty-eight...
09:25Twenty-nine...
09:27Twenty-one...
09:29Twenty-two...
09:31Twenty-one...
09:41Twenty-eight...
09:43Twenty-four...
09:45Twenty-five...
09:47Twenty-six...
09:49Twenty-seven...
09:51Twenty-eight...
09:53Twenty-nine...