Disney's newest attempt to make a live action adaptation of a beloved animated classic.....Here's my review for DISNEY'S SNOW WHITE!
#SnowWhite
#SnowWhite
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00:00It's what you would expect from a live-action remake.
00:02Take a beloved animated classic, make it live-action,
00:05and if they're really lucky, capture 10% of the magic.
00:14So Snow White's the newest Disney live-action adaptation.
00:17This is directed by Mark Webb, stars Rachel Zegler as Snow White.
00:21As this movie was building in the first act, I was like...
00:24Maybe it's not as bad as it looked.
00:26It seemed to be doing what a live-action remake in this capacity should do.
00:31Stick to the spirit of the thing,
00:32flesh some things out that maybe the original animation kind of fast-tracked.
00:37You get that in the beginning with Snow White,
00:39the story of her parents, how the evil queen rose to power.
00:41As Snow White flees into the woods,
00:43she stumbles across a magical land called the Uncanny Valley
00:46where she hangs out with seven cartoon characters we're supposed to pass off as live-action.
00:51Gonna stop here and address some of the positives in this film up to this point.
00:55As you can tell in the second half, it kind of takes a turn.
00:58But honestly, out the gate, I thought Rachel Zegler was good as Snow White.
01:02Setting aside the tragedy of the fact that Disney learned far too late
01:06to not give her a microphone when she's doing press for this film,
01:09I actually make the argument that her version of what the film was,
01:14per her explanation, it's not actually the film.
01:17Nah, love interest guy, poison apple, true love's kiss, it's all in here.
01:21Does she carry the film?
01:22I mean, between her, seven cartoon dwarves, and Gal Gadot,
01:26I kind of say Dopey has the best moments of heart.
01:29She might win by default alone right there.
01:31It's not really a good basis for comparison.
01:34However, the stronger argument is the fact that Rachel Zegler had to play a character
01:38who was so likable that humans as well as animals both loved her.
01:42Had to have been very difficult for her.
01:43But I thought she was good as Snow White.
01:44If for nothing else, she has a really good voice.
01:46It's a musical you do want as Snow White who can belt them out when the music hits.
01:51Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, didn't the internet love her at one point?
01:56Internet critics, everyone was like, she is Wonder Woman.
01:59It's like now she's just kind of hated by everybody.
02:02That said, I get what she's doing in here.
02:04She's trying to ham it up in that villain way.
02:07It's almost like she saw Raul Julia in Street Fighter and said,
02:11I'm gonna do that.
02:13However difficult to do, many try, few succeed.
02:16Came across more as Uma Thurman from Batman and Robin at times.
02:20However, on the other hand, I felt it worked for her villain song.
02:23Because those Disney villain songs, they are hammed up, but they're still villainous.
02:28I felt it worked for that.
02:29And pretty much that alone.
02:31The music is true Disney live-action remake adaptation
02:35where it's music you either recognize and that's your attachment to it,
02:40and that's why it's better than the rest.
02:41Or it's original new music for this, in which it's trash.
02:45Seriously, the first song went down and I was like,
02:46and the music's just gonna suck ass in here.
02:49All right, I'm now prepared.
02:51I guess that's why the Gal Gadot one stands out
02:53because at least her campiness and cheesiness fed into the enjoyment aspect.
02:57But all in all, now we're talking about music enjoyment
03:00in which just get the soundtrack or the original soundtrack.
03:03And by soundtrack, I mean stream it, I guess.
03:06Then after she's done being the dwarves therapist,
03:09which again did work for, I felt was a touching moment for Dopey.
03:13She leaves the dwarves.
03:15Okay, you remember that picture in which it was like,
03:18hey, here are the substitutes for the seven dwarves
03:21that aren't gonna be seven dwarves.
03:22But the internet, and I'm paraphrasing here,
03:25internet said, how about not?
03:27Much to my surprise, those folks are still in this film.
03:30She runs across these bandits.
03:32Those are the bandits.
03:33She hangs out with them for a bit and now I'm in a completely different film.
03:36This movie, it kind of felt like DLC.
03:39It felt like Snow White DLC.
03:41You know when you get a new game,
03:42DLC being downloadable content, gamerspeak.
03:45But you know when you get the new game
03:46and maybe you get the DLC for free.
03:48Maybe it's day one DLC.
03:50Maybe it's pre-order DLC.
03:52Maybe it was on sale.
03:53But the DLC is now in the game as you're doing the main campaign.
03:56Then you accidentally jump tracks to the DLC.
04:00And now you're on this really involved side quest
04:02that feels nothing like the original game you were just playing.
04:05Yeah, it's kind of like that, but for Snow White.
04:07You're hanging out with these bandits you don't know, you don't care about.
04:10Granted, they do mingle with the dwarves for a spell,
04:14but you can't help but see it.
04:16Two possible options going down here, my friends.
04:18One, initially there were going to be no dwarves in this Snow White film.
04:22The bandits were going to be the substitute for the dwarves.
04:26The internet, again, paraphrasing, said,
04:29how about not?
04:30Studio panicked, refilmed scenes with the dwarves,
04:33and now you have two different versions of this film just colliding head-on.
04:38Or this film as it stands, dwarves and bandits both being in here
04:42was always how it was planned to be.
04:44But they released this picture to fabricate internet outrage
04:47because internet's going to do what internet does,
04:50and no press is bad press.
04:51I don't know, I'll probably never know,
04:53but you can't help but see that Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
04:56and Snow White and the Seven Bandits
04:59are two different feeling films that are almost in competition on screen.
05:03I mean, the bandits don't have any real character.
05:06They're just there.
05:07And you feel like that's not supposed to be the case
05:09because one bandit references another bandit by name,
05:13and you're just like, I don't know who that is.
05:15And the way it's executed, you said that like I'm supposed to,
05:19like the movie was filmed to tell me who that was,
05:23like I'm supposed to know who these people are,
05:25or give half a shi-
05:26But I, you know, didn't.
05:28Also, recut and relayered with the love story
05:31because that feels half-assed as well.
05:32Granted, in the original animation, that-
05:34I've always felt that comes out of nowhere.
05:36True Love's Kiss, are you sure- did you know her that well?
05:39Difference is, this movie takes a half an hour longer to get there,
05:42and I still feel like-
05:43True Love's Kiss, are you sure- did you know her that well?
05:46And boiled down, that's what this movie is.
05:48It does flesh some things out,
05:50which a live-action remake in this capacity should do, I feel.
05:53In the case of this film, it's bookended both at the beginning and the end,
05:57and I like that.
05:57But that doesn't justify it being as long as it is.
06:01It's about, I believe, a half an hour longer than the original animation.
06:05Should've taken 10-15 minutes.
06:07I get it's made for children, not chromogenous adults like myself,
06:11and I did hear a kid or two chuckling in the theater.
06:14Once or twice.
06:15Then they felt oddly silent, probably because they became bored.
06:19Even they were probably like,
06:20in my four years of experience in this life,
06:23why does this movie feel like it's two separate films clashing?
06:27In the end, for the whole experience,
06:28just a movie I'm not gonna remember in T-minus one day.
06:30Yeah, just watch the original, I guess.
06:33You know what's funny? The whole Magic Mirror thing.
06:35Doesn't make any sense.
06:36Because the whole Magic Mirror who's the fairest of them all thing was always,
06:40by implication, external beauty.
06:42It's a vanity thing.
06:43But now we're talking about what's in here, you know, the internal beauty,
06:47as asked by a lady called the Evil Queen.
06:50How would that conversation even go down?
06:53Well, lady called the Evil Queen, since we're talking about internal beauty,
06:58you're pretty much the worst.
07:00Think you'll have to wipe out every woman in the land in order to be
07:05the fairest of them all.
07:07Except for Karen.
07:08She yelled at the butcher's boy.
07:09Said, I'd like to speak to your manager now.
07:11She is just awful.
07:13But other than that, you're pretty screwed.
07:15Or maybe it is just external beauty,
07:17in which this would be the shortest film ever.
07:19Who is the fairest of them all?
07:21What, you mean between you and the girl with the Lord Farquaad wig?
07:24Pretty sure you're the biggest smoke show in the land.
07:26You got nothing to worry about.
07:28Rest easy.
07:29All right, so the Disney live action Snow White, have you seen it?
07:36What did you think about it?
07:37Or what's a good Disney live action adaptation, that you really liked?
07:41Whatever it is, whatever you think, comment below, let me know.
07:43And as always, if you like what you've seen here and you want to see more,
07:45click right here to see more.