Doctor Odyssey - Season 1 Episode 4 -
Wellness Week,
Doctor Odyssey S01E04
Wellness Week,
Doctor Odyssey S01E04
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01We've constructed a paradise here, but the world is still the world.
00:07Defib!
00:08I don't have a pulse.
00:09Max, he's gone.
00:12I spoke to the captain, and if you wanted, if you decided that you would like to be an MD, he will support you for a full scholarship.
00:20It was never real. I was never in love with Avery to begin with.
00:24I think I just heard you give me your inherent blessing. Is it a bad idea?
00:29Sleeping with a subordinate?
00:32All right, you scallywags. The heat's on.
00:36Bets are in. Let's draw.
00:40If this were sellers of Catan, I'm telling you, whole different story.
00:45I'll trade two.
00:46Two, please, Kat.
00:48So, we all jazzed for Wellness Week with Bethany Wells.
00:51I had to Zoom with her two weeks ago. Bethany asked me, the head of housekeeping, to personally wash all the linens in her own special detergent made from pickled cucumber prime.
01:00Aren't pickled cucumbers just pickles?
01:02This woman is a wellness celebrity. She has no idea about what we do, and yet, for a week, we give her the keys to the kingdom.
01:09Like putting a toddler behind a Mack truck and saying, happy trails.
01:13Why on earth would we give this woman that much power?
01:16Oh, naive little Dr. Odyssey, there are exactly 10.2 million reasons why.
01:22Instagram followers.
01:24Her company sponsors this Wellness Week, and it's a very public, very big deal, so we kind of have a little balancing act here.
01:33We do our jobs while simultaneously tolerating Bethany's wackadoodle quirks.
01:40Last year, she tried to get me to use corn ethanol to power the ship.
01:45Corn.
01:46I tell you, this whole global warming crap is just so overblown.
01:51Global warming is overblown?
01:53Just this week, we're rerouting around a major tropical depression off the coast of Baja.
01:57Tell me, when have we ever had tropical depressions in this time of year?
02:00Well, if the Earth's getting so hot, then you just explain to me why there's eight feet of flipping snow last Christmas in my hometown of Doha Jack, Michigan.
02:07Rosie, I'm gonna tell you, you're the best damn engineer that a captain could ever ask for.
02:12And nobody knows this Odyssey better than you.
02:16But on this point, you're dead wrong.
02:18I've been on the seas for the better part of my life, and sailed every ocean in every condition.
02:24And I can tell you, from my experience, this isn't right.
02:30These storms are stronger, and the hurricane seasons last months longer than they used to.
02:36But speaking of disasters, it's time for the rest of you fools to lose your clothing.
02:42Who's still in?
02:44I'm out like Ellen.
02:49Rosie, you can smell that thing in Buena Ventura.
02:53Uh, yeah. I'm out, Cap. You got me too.
02:58Fold. But, well, the joke's on you.
03:02I'm an exhibitionist.
03:05There he is.
03:07Look, first I want to just say thank you for inviting me to the boys and butchers card game and buys.
03:13Sorry, boys, butchers, and buys.
03:15And in that spirit of inclusion, I would like to say I'm in.
03:20Really?
03:21Really.
03:22Okay.
03:24Three cowboys.
03:29How rude.
03:30Is the catchphrase of Stephanie Tanner on my favorite sitcom.
03:36Come on, foolhouse.
03:41Okay.
03:49Why not the hat always stays on?
03:54Well, that's game for me.
03:56Remember, this week, chin's up.
03:58We can navigate around any rough waters, and we can navigate around the peculiarities of Bethany Wells.
04:04So, no tropical depressions, either atmospheric or emotional, are going to darken our days.
04:10I forecast smiles and smooth sailing and sunny skies.
04:16Good night, y'all.
04:18Good night, Cap.
04:30Are we still on course?
04:32Clearly maintaining.
04:34All right, team.
04:36We're entering the first draw.
04:40All right.
04:41Brace for impact.
04:43Brace!
04:55So, I got a letter yesterday, and, uh, well, I got it.
05:02I got the scholarship.
05:04Yeah.
05:05That's amazing.
05:07Oh, congratulations.
05:08Thanks.
05:09You're going to be a doctor.
05:11You're going to med school.
05:12You're leaving.
05:13Yeah.
05:14Yeah, I guess so.
05:15Wow.
05:16Man, I'm so happy for you.
05:17That's great.
05:19That is great.
05:20Thank you so much.
05:21Yeah.
05:24Hey, should we?
05:25Well, I just wanted to check in and make sure if you wanted to talk about what happened.
05:29Uh, I mean, no, I don't have to talk about what happened.
05:31Do you want to talk about what happened?
05:32No, no, no.
05:33I'm good.
05:34If you're good, I'm good.
05:35Okay.
05:36Okay.
05:37We're good.
05:38Yeah, yeah.
05:39That's good.
05:40Congratulations.
05:41I'm really happy for you.
06:00Oh, my God.
06:01Oh, my God.
06:02That's Agnes Simpkin.
06:03She's an acupuncturist and a psychic.
06:04She's helped thousands of people diagnose chronic conditions.
06:05Unbelievable.
06:06Why rely on the scientific method when you can just read your patient's palm?
06:07You both really think Western medicine has everything figured out?
06:08All I know is that when I get sick, I go to a doctor for some pills, not a witch for some
06:09toadstools.
06:10Taxus brevifolia, a.k.a. the Pacific yew tree.
06:11Its bark contains paxilotax.
06:12I'll better not tell you.
06:13It's a very dangerous plant.
06:14It can kill you.
06:15It can kill you.
06:16It can kill you.
06:17It can kill you.
06:18It can kill you.
06:19It can kill you.
06:20It can kill you.
06:21It can kill you.
06:22It can kill you.
06:23It can kill you.
06:24It can kill you.
06:25It can kill you.
06:26It can kill you.
06:27It can kill you.
06:28It can kill you.
06:29It can kill you.
06:30It can kill you.
06:31It can kill you.
06:32It can kill you.
06:33It can kill you.
06:34It can kill you.
06:35It can kill you.
06:36It can kill you.
06:37It can kill you.
06:38It can kill you.
06:39It can kill you.
06:40It can kill you.
06:41It can kill you.
06:42It can kill you.
06:43It can kill you.
06:44It can kill you.
06:45It can kill you.
06:46It can kill you.
06:47It can kill you.
06:48It can kill you.
06:49It can kill you.
06:50It can kill you.
06:57Mi Capitan,—
06:58Buenos dÃas.
07:00Muy bueno to be back.
07:02Bienvenida, Bethany.
07:04Todo es bien.
07:05Look at those sapphire eyes.
07:07You're just so handsome.
07:08I came bearing gifts.
07:10That's so nice.
07:13Give me the prize and you get a prize.
07:14Give me a prize and you and Captain.
07:16I'm sorry, excuse me one second.
07:20Do you know what this is?
07:23Ozone therapy.
07:25Where does that tube go?
07:27It's for reptile application.
07:29Wellness culture. It's my agony, it's my ecstasy. Sue me!
07:32Avery, my radiant daughter! Look at you!
07:37You know, it's time to cut that thing out of your life, and I know you know what I'm talking about.
07:42Yes, yes.
07:44Later, buddy. You must be the doctor!
07:47Oh, your aura. It's a crimson, bloody shadow.
07:52Hi. Hi.
07:54Sorry. Hi, I'm Kathy. I'm from Cedar Rapids.
07:58I can't believe it's really you. I'm crying.
08:01Oh, bless you. May our tears as carriers of truth flow ceaselessly.
08:08Can I get a selfie?
08:09You better post it, right? Okay.
08:12Rowan, rapido.
08:16Tag B-Well's Health and Beauty for 10% off on our onboard store.
08:19Oh, the ship has called to me like a great spirit.
08:48Great spirit beckoning.
08:50May she nestle you securely in her mighty bosom.
08:53Oh, everyone, I'd like you to meet my dear, dear friend, Vivian Montgomery, whom you may recognize if you own a television.
09:01That's right. Viv is a two-time winner of Red Hot Chef, and she will be overseeing our cuisine this week.
09:08Oh, her liver carpaccio is to die for.
09:11Personal chef to a bunch of smoothie drinkers. Sweet gig.
09:16Is this coming from a candy stripe on a cruise ship?
09:20Um, Bethany, what's all this?
09:22Oh, did I forget to tell you? Oops.
09:25Might I wrangle the doctor for just a squig?
09:28I just have some tiny micro details to go over just for pesky insurance purposes.
09:33Wrangle away.
09:34You're the best.
09:36My lawyer is a nervous ninny.
09:38He's the man that a doctor signed off on some of my cuisine choices.
09:41You know, liability, yada, yada, yada.
09:43You know, I've been on this incredible diet for the past six months, and I've never felt better.
09:47Viv, tell them all about it.
09:49It's organ meats. Nature's multivitamin.
09:52They're rich in iron, copper, vitamins A, B, low in cholesterol, and full of protein.
09:58Try it.
09:59This is goat liver. The flavor is smooth, delicate, and it's easily digestible.
10:04Are you asking me to eat that?
10:05Obviously.
10:06No. Raw meat is filled with bacteria, pathogens, parasites. Why don't we cook it first?
10:12No, you'll ruin it. That's the food of our ancestors.
10:15You know, they didn't have expensive flambe pans or fancy polyurethane sous vide bags.
10:21No, they took a raw bite, they chewed, they swallowed, and they thrived.
10:24And they lived to the ripe old age of 22.
10:26You eat sushi, right? What's the difference?
10:29Come on, Doc. What are you afraid of?
10:32I'll eat it.
10:34Justin, so nice of you to join us.
10:35Shh. Happy to help.
10:39Wow. That looks... looks lovely.
10:45See? Nothing to be afraid of.
10:47I'm having Vivian include a special course with tonight's dinner. With your go-ahead, Doctor.
10:52I don't see the harm. What say you, Doc?
10:56Sure. But I want a member of my team to oversee the food prep process.
11:00I don't want there to be any cross-contamination.
11:02Justin, you seem to have taken a keen interest.
11:04Yeah, whatever you say.
11:06You hear that?
11:08You're mine.
11:12Daring me.
11:18How y'all doing? I'm Judy Riva, the smoothie diva.
11:22And I'm joined today by healer extraordinaire, Agnes Simpkin.
11:28Now, organic ingredients mixed properly.
11:31This is nature's medicine.
11:33So I put all the good stuff in one powder, Diva Dust.
11:36Now, this is my proprietary blend of superfoods, minerals, and pre- and probiotics.
11:42And what's in it? She won't tell me. She never has.
11:46Well, I can't tell you. If I tell you that, my lawyers will have you walk the gangplank.
11:51I have a crazy legal team as well.
11:53What I can tell you is that this mixture literally erased my son's dyslexia.
11:59And for me, it cured a terrible case of chronic hiccups.
12:03You know, three years ago, Judy came to me and she said,
12:06eat my dust, in that very brash tone of hers.
12:09But I have to say, I'm so glad that I did, really.
12:11Because I start every morning with a Diva Dust smoothie.
12:14And I know it's hard to tell in this tunic, but I'm quite thin.
12:17So the proof is in the pudding, as they say.
12:20Yes, the proof is in the dust.
12:23I have, along with Diva Dust, a couple of incredible ingredients
12:27which are not even legal in the U.S., including bitter almonds.
12:33These guys have twice the nutrients and way more flavor
12:36than the regular old ones at the supermarket.
12:49Excuse me, can we get a picture with you?
12:51Of course, my loves.
12:54Miss Simpkin?
12:56Hi, I'm Avery. I'm a nurse here on the Odyssey.
13:00And I just wanted to say, I'm a huge fan.
13:03It's a shame to see such a young and promising woman working for the enemy.
13:09Big Pharma? The Sickness Industrial Complex?
13:12Doctors and nurses, like yourself, have a vested interest in keeping people sick.
13:17True wellness comes from within, not without.
13:20I don't think that's fair at all, actually.
13:24I swore an oath to help people that I take very seriously.
13:31Are you okay?
13:36I'm fine, sweetie. I'm an empath.
13:38I probably picked up on a rogue emotion of yours.
13:41Perhaps guilt.
13:45Miss Simpkin!
13:4710-27 on the pool deck. We need a stretcher stat.
13:51What the hell was in that smoothie?
13:56Let's get her cuffed up.
13:58No, no tech. I'm tech adverse. No, good at all.
14:04Prep five grams of hydroxycobalamin.
14:06Poisoned by bitter almonds? That's impossible. They're organic.
14:09Yeah, so is arsenic.
14:11Bitter almonds contain amygdalin, which breaks down into hydrogen cyanide when ingested in high doses.
14:15Have you ever heard to initiate ACLS procedures?
14:17If I'm going to be subjected to this western medical torture, I at least need to be able to breathe.
14:21I'm going to get you some oxygen right now.
14:22No, no, sweetie, no.
14:24My body to breathe.
14:30Doctor?
14:32Spider angiomas.
14:39Avery, this isn't cyanide poisoning. It's not the almonds.
14:41Well, I hate to say I told you so.
14:44What else is in those smoothies?
14:45I can't tell you that. That's proprietary.
14:48I mean, that's like telling you the recipe for Coca-Cola.
14:52She's seizing. Let's get her oxygen now.
14:55It's just a thickener. Ashwagandha root. B-complex vitamins. A taro powder base.
15:01Taro powder.
15:04Prep for emergency dialysis now.
15:15Prep the machine. We're aiming for a bicarbonate dialysate.
15:18Start at a flow rate of 300 milliliters a minute.
15:20Got it. Monitoring for disequilibrium syndrome.
15:25Taro powder. How did you know what that was?
15:27When I was working for doctors without borders in Peru,
15:29we would get cases of kids who were accidentally eating the seed pods from the taro tree,
15:32which is toxic to the liver, and they also bind to proteins,
15:35making it impossible for the body to absorb them.
15:37She'll be fine in a few days.
15:38Explains why people who drink the smoothies feel full but still lose weight.
15:41Explains why people who drink the smoothies feel full but still lose weight.
15:44They're developing malnutrition. Nice.
15:48Hey, gents. Captain.
15:50Say what you will about her, Bethany Wells puts together a hell of a gift bag.
15:53Care for a saltwater taffy? Made with Indian Ocean saltwater.
15:57Monroe, when I was 18 years old, I worked a clam trawler out of Atlantic City.
16:02And ever since then, that taffy tastes like broken heart and permanent sunburn.
16:08Tell me about this tropical depression.
16:10She's taking a usual route up the coast, northwest to west-northwest.
16:13They would say the course was shown encountering the Outer Bands.
16:16Shouldn't get much choppier than this.
16:17All right, good.
16:19I'm still going to want some up-to-minute reports from the National Hurricane Center.
16:22Give me some bridge-to-bridge comms and forecasting models from OWS and GFS.
16:27Anything changes, we'll just turn this puppy around and make Port and Baja.
16:32Meanwhile, let's smooth this damn ride out.
16:35Sir.
16:37Bridge to control room. Activate stabilizers.
16:39Control room copies. Activating stabilization system.
16:48Folks, this is your captain coming to you from the bridge.
16:52Now, out on the ocean, as in life, it's not a question of when you're going to encounter waves.
16:57It's what do you do when they come up.
17:00And here on the Odyssey, when the waves come a-rockin', we start rockin' and rollin'.
17:10Boom.
17:18Not so much.
17:25You call that the Julianne?
17:28I call that a cara.
17:29Cara.
17:37You're hopeless.
17:38Oh, yeah.
17:50Back to work?
17:54Yes, Chad.
18:00Hey, Bethany. Is everything okay?
18:02Absolutely not. My beef hearts taste like organ meat. Something is off.
18:09I'm so sorry to hear that.
18:11Meat is fresh, it's emulsified with capers, shallots, anchovy paste. It's the same as always.
18:15Listie, the ingredients doesn't help, Viv. Clearly, we made a mistake.
18:19You know, you're a talented cook, but it takes a lot of work.
18:22I know.
18:23Listie, the ingredients doesn't help, Viv. Clearly, we made a mistake.
18:27You know, you're a talented cook, but it takes a real brilliant chef to work at this scale.
18:32All right? Just get rid of it.
18:34Take it away and do that thing I like with the spam and the mozzarella and mix it up so it looks like tartare.
18:38Okay? Can you do that? That's cooking 101.
18:41Of course.
18:53What? We're friends.
18:56Friends? I thought you were trying to not do this.
19:00Do what?
19:01I support whatever you're doing or not doing. She's talented, successful. Maybe this thing has legs.
19:06It's got legs. Long ones. Her food is awful. I can eat this.
19:11For whatever it's worth, my liver mousse is really tasty.
19:13Yeah, well, it's making me nauseous.
19:14Then go have a Hot Pocket in your cabin.
19:17You know what? I think I will.
19:24No. Nope, we're not doing this again. No more drama in the infirmary. Go quash whatever that is, right now.
19:40Looks like we're on the other side of that storm system.
19:44Yeah, maybe.
19:45Hey.
19:48What is your problem? Aren't you jealous or something?
19:51Of you? No, babe. I'm not jealous.
19:56You rejected me. And now that I'm moving on and I found someone that I actually like, it's making you crazy.
20:05What? She's nice. And she's smart. She's an extremely good cook.
20:09She literally doesn't cook. That's her whole thing. She's a talking Cuisinart.
20:12Hey, guys.
20:14Ah.
20:15Imagine. Coming out onto the deck, only to find people talking about you. Not cool.
20:22I'm going to bed. I feel sick.
20:24Have a bit too much Zinfandel?
20:26No, actually, I had a lot of whatever you made tonight.
20:28Hey, cut it out. Knock it off over there.
20:30We got bigger fish to fry. We're not on the other side of this storm. We're in the eye of it. Damn thing must have built up around us.
20:38Brandon, we are walking.
20:44Captain Massey to the bridge. Monroe, what's it look like on the Doppler?
20:52First Officer Monroe, come in.
20:56First Officer Monroe, come in.
21:14Psilocybin.
21:16Wow. Beautiful.
21:20What? What's going on, Cap?
21:23Well, Monroe, what's going on is you're higher than Snoop D-O-double-G.
21:28And we're in the middle of a hurricane, maybe one of the worst I've ever seen in this part of the Pacific.
21:34Hi.
21:35Yeah.
21:36What?
21:37Yeah. You all right? You didn't get into that, did you?
21:41No, sir.
21:42That's one in a row.
21:49Folks, this is your captain calling from the bridge deck with an update.
21:55Well, it appears that Mother Nature has decided to come along for the ride this week.
22:00And as calm as it may seem right now, we are actually in the eye of a hurricane.
22:06The worst of the storm could hit in a few hours or a day. Remain calm and await further announcements.
22:12I told you there was something wrong with that food.
22:22Avery, you in there?
22:24You okay?
22:27I'm not leaving until I see whatever ingenious thing you fashioned into a barf bucket.
22:32It's from the nursery.
22:35It's for sand castles.
22:37Not anymore.
22:39Okay, infirmary, come on, let's go.
22:41I have food poisoning. Just let me cocoon in privacy.
22:44How do you know it's food poisoning?
22:46Because I am a very good nurse, Maxwell.
22:49Abdominal pain, vomiting, and oh, yeah, eating.
22:53And I'm a very good nurse, too.
22:54How do you know it's food poisoning?
22:56Because I am a very good nurse, Maxwell.
22:59Abdominal pain, vomiting, and oh, yeah, eating a plate full of raw meat.
23:03Is it a broad pain or a sharp, persistent pain?
23:06You are a sharp, persistent pain.
23:08We don't self-diagnose. Them's the rules.
23:11Infirmary, come on.
23:13No, I can hardly stand. How do you expect me to walk to the infirmary?
23:21No.
23:24Purify the space.
23:26Purify the space.
23:28Purify the space.
23:30Put it on your face.
23:32I leave for five minutes.
23:34Are you burning sage?
23:36Purify the space.
23:38Create a better place.
23:40Purify the space.
23:42Hey, Tristan. You call that in to the bridge.
23:44Make sure they know there's nothing on fire down here.
23:46She just showed up and started babbling about healing rituals.
23:49I need a hand over here with Avery.
23:51I need her vitals and put her on...
23:52I need a 100 ml saline bag, 4 mg of dancetron for nausea.
23:55My guy, the pain?
23:57I wouldn't say tore at all, but...
23:59She's inhaling the ozone.
24:01Bethany, no, no, no, no, no.
24:03Do not inhale the ozone.
24:05That's toxic.
24:07Okay, hi, Bethany. Hi, hi, hi.
24:09I'm going to need to take your vitals, okay?
24:11Stick with me for one sec.
24:13Hey, Tristan.
24:15I need a CBC and a tox screen.
24:17I think she might have ingested something.
24:19Yeah, a spoonful of bath salts, maybe?
24:20Carbon stuff. Carbon stuff.
24:22Hi, Bethany. Hi, hi. How you doing?
24:24Deep breaths. One breath. Two breaths.
24:26Three deep breaths.
24:28Sleep well. Be well.
24:32Let's get her in some straps, just in case.
24:43We're back with you.
24:45What happens when you palpate your right side?
24:48Rebound pain.
24:50Okay. It's not food poisoning.
24:52It's either a mosquito stones diverticulitis...
24:54Or appendicitis.
24:56Appendicitis? Do we have time to do tests?
24:58A CT scan?
25:00No, but we don't need to. Are you familiar with RPO procedure?
25:02There are three checks.
25:04One, pain in the lower right quadrant. You already exhibited that.
25:06Two, pain when the right leg is flexed.
25:08Check. Three, pain when the hip is put into interior rotation.
25:11Check, check, check. Ding, ding, ding.
25:13Max, I think you're going to have to operate.
25:15Oh, it feels like it's going to rupture.
25:17Yeah, I told you. I told you.
25:18I told you it wasn't food poisoning.
25:20Why won't you listen to me, Aves?
25:23All guests, please return to your cabins.
25:26All guests, please return to your cabins.
25:36Well, we've outrun her about as long as we can.
25:41Rosie, set speed to 120 RPMs.
25:45Helmsman?
25:46Adjust your heading to 045 degrees.
25:50Set condition Zebra.
25:52All hands, prepare for heavy weather.
25:55Secure all openings.
25:57I want this hip drier than Rosie's stories about growing up in Doisac.
26:01Roger that, but you live for my stories, Cap. Don't lie.
26:04Engage healing pumps on starboard to counteract porcine lists.
26:07Good idea, Tim. Larry, did you get that, Rosie?
26:10Heard it and on it.
26:12Folks, this is the captain coming from the bridge deck.
26:15Well, it's a funny thing about being surrounded on all sides.
26:19The only way out is through.
26:21Go to your cabins, secure your belongings, and brace for rough water.
26:26Confirm we're to bridge, Cap. You there?
26:31Yeah, Max. What do you need?
26:34Honestly, I need a miracle.
26:36It's Avery. Her appendix is about to burst.
26:38We need to do a miracle.
26:39It's Avery. Her appendix is about to burst.
26:41We need to do emergency surgery.
26:43I need twenty minutes of calm waters.
26:47Is that twenty consecutive minutes?
26:50I'll take them how I can get them.
26:52All right, stay calm.
26:54Avery's in good hands with you and Tristan,
26:56and you're in good hands with me and the bridge crew up here.
26:58I'm going to get you that twenty minutes,
27:00but it's not going to be all at once.
27:02It's going to take the better part of the next hour.
27:04I've got an idea. It's an old Siemens maneuver.
27:06It violates about fifty nautical laws, but we'll deal with that later.
27:10The only thing you have to do is stay calm
27:12and follow my instructions to the letter. Can you do it?
27:16Yes, sir. We can do it.
27:23All right. This is how trough riding works.
27:27We're going to navigate this storm in a big zigzag pattern.
27:30I'm going to position the ship in the trough of a wave,
27:33and that should carry us along for a couple of minutes.
27:36When we absolutely have to, I'll give warning,
27:39and we'll make a hard ninety degree turn,
27:42thrust through the wave and into the next trough,
27:45which should buy us a couple more minutes.
27:47So instead of steady rocking, we'll have moments of calm,
27:49followed by, whoa, mama, hang on to your hat.
27:51That's exactly right, Rosie.
27:53Guys, the life of one of our owners is on the line down there.
27:58The only way this works is if we stay in constant contact and communication.
28:02Copy? Yes, sir. Copy that.
28:07How am I supposed to pull this off, huh?
28:10Without you bossing me around.
28:12Just remember, if you kill me,
28:14my ghost is going to come crop dust you every time you're alone with a girl.
28:28I'm debating now.
28:30All right, team. We're entering the first trough.
28:36Heading along the McBarney line now.
28:39Access?
28:46Locating the appendix.
28:49Got it.
28:51Time's up. I gotta make the turn.
28:54One sec, Cap.
28:56Don't have it. Brace now.
28:57Brace now.
29:05Watch it.
29:07If those hit the ground, they're useless.
29:16There it is. I got it.
29:20Sam?
29:25Sam?
29:28Sam?
29:36Brace for impact. Brace.
29:43Sir, the wind is changing direction on us.
29:47We got a rogue wave coming.
29:49Get ready. Brace yourself now.
29:58Fuck.
30:03Ligatures are loose. I got uncontrolled bleeding.
30:05I need visualization. Stat.
30:17Okay. We're good.
30:20We're okay, Cap. We lost you there.
30:23But we're okay. All three of us.
30:25Well, I'm glad to hear it.
30:27It's not over yet, but I think we're through the worst of it.
30:37It's still too shaky. I can't get the sutures to stick.
30:40Can I?
30:50What?
30:52The cool is,
30:54they're cruise ship knot.
30:56It's the same as a square knot,
30:58but you double the back loops.
31:01You see?
31:03Scissors.
31:05That's actually very smart.
31:10I do know some things, Doc.
31:19Yeah, baby.
31:21That was fun. Want to do it again?
31:23Woo! That's what I'm talking about, baby.
31:34Hey, Tristan.
31:36You know a lot more than some things.
31:39That was incredible work.
31:41I wouldn't have wanted anybody else in there with me.
31:52That blood pressure's dropping, Hoppy. It's irregular.
31:55Looks like she vomited during the storm.
31:57Let's get her on her side so she doesn't have a sprain.
31:59Ready? One, two, three.
32:01Do you think it's shrugs?
32:03Hallucinating therapy?
32:05I'm not so sure. Look at her wrists.
32:07Got swelling, yellowing at the fingernails.
32:10A jaundice. Something to do with her liver.
32:16I'm not sure.
32:18I'm not sure.
32:19I'm not sure.
32:24Such negative auras.
32:30That's what she said to me when we first met.
32:32I had a crimson aura.
32:36Bingo.
32:38Kaiser Flasher rings.
32:40What?
32:42It's copper poisoning.
32:44You see the rust-colored rings around her iris?
32:46That's why she's seeing auras. Her vision's clattered.
32:47It also explains the neurological symptoms and the ataxia.
32:50Organ meat.
32:52Extremely high in heavy metals.
32:54And liver is high in copper.
32:56She needs chelation therapy.
32:58We need the detox system. Let's get her on an IV of penicillin.
33:00Yeah.
33:01Ondansetron for nausea.
33:03Also, let's put her on a normal saline bolus to flush out her system.
33:05I got it.
33:18Energy meridians run like streams through the body.
33:20Strong emotions muddy the waters, pollute the soul.
33:22Agnes, are you sure you're ready to do this?
33:24I mean, I thought I killed you.
33:26Sweetie, it's going to take more than a smoothie to get rid of me.
33:29I'm closing up shop.
33:31I've blended my last bebita.
33:33Judy, sweetie, you're a healer, for God's sake.
33:35You can't quit that easy.
33:37I'm not a healer.
33:39I'm not a healer.
33:41I'm not a healer.
33:43I'm not a healer.
33:45I'm not a healer.
33:47You're a healer, Judy.
33:49Did I ever tell you about that pro golfer's shoulder I was working on?
33:51I can't say who he is, of course.
33:53But let's just say he was a real big cat if you catch my drift.
33:56It was Tiger Woods, yeah.
33:57I was tapping his Yun Min, the Cloud Gate.
33:59But I was a millimeter off.
34:01He lost sensation in his whole arm a week before the Masters.
34:04Gradually, over the next 6 days, sensation returned,
34:07and that weekend, he shot 18 below par.
34:09Took on the green jacket.
34:12It's amazing what miracles can happen with catastrophes.
34:13It's amazing what miracles can happen with catastrophe.
34:17Hmm. Sensing a real imbalance right here in your tian lao.
34:22Inhale deeply for me.
34:28Oh, that one felt kind of funny.
34:31Oh, yeah. That's toxicity leaving the body.
34:34Now exhale all that negativity.
34:37Ah!
34:47Judy, does it hurt when you breathe?
34:49Yes.
34:50Her lips are turning blue. Central cyanosis.
34:52O2 saturation at 88%. She needs oxygen.
34:54How long are these needles?
34:56They range. The black ones are 100 millimeters.
34:58100 millimeters.
35:01The intrapleural space is 25 millimeters.
35:04So what you've done here is punctured her lung.
35:06Now all the air is rusting out into her chest cavity.
35:08It's crushing her hardened lungs.
35:09O2 saturation at 70.
35:11Prep for a thoracostomy. I'm going to get these needles out now.
35:13No. No, no, no. Are you crazy?
35:14If you interrupt her treatment now, you could permanently alter her energy pathways.
35:17What she needs is to breathe through this.
35:20The only way she's breathing through this is through a chest tube.
35:22Judy, when I tell you, I'm going to need you to breathe out all the air in your lungs and hold it. Okay?
35:28Okay.
35:37Scalpel.
35:39Ready?
35:41Okay. Now.
35:51This is going to hurt a little.
35:58No.
36:02Drape.
36:03Okay.
36:04Finish dressing the wound. Monitor her vitals.
36:06I'm going to go check on Avery.
36:07She's fine. She's better than ever, actually.
36:08Excuse me.
36:09She needed this. She needed this.
36:20You.
36:22Me.
36:25I must say, this is feeling very Gift of the Magi.
36:31Is that that story about the poor husband and wife who tried to buy each other the perfect Christmas present?
36:40She sells her hair to buy him a watch chain. He sells his watch to buy her a comb.
36:46Two people with the purest of intentions ensnared by the cruelest circumstances.
36:51Are you trying to turn this into some kind of...
36:53Sh, sh, sh.
36:54Sweetie, sweetie. I could intuit what you're thinking.
36:56Okay.
36:57And I forgive you.
36:59You nearly killed me, you carnival act frog.
37:03Help! Help! Help!
37:05Stop! Break it up! Stop!
37:07She's crossing boundaries!
37:10I am thrilled to announce the launch of our new product, B Wells Detox.
37:15A high-quality at-home chelation system that will help remove heavy toxic metals from our systems.
37:22Pollutants she put there.
37:25Stay super sweet. Really beautiful, Jess.
37:29Any whoozle, I'm very excited to say that I'll be partnering with a fabulous Purdue Pharma.
37:36Can we do another one, Rowan?
37:39I am ending up with some ceremonial-grade lip balm.
37:42As am I.
37:43Oh.
37:45Big bet.
37:46Big time.
37:47Wait a minute.
37:48Are you gambling with precious B Wells products?
37:51And losing quite badly, I might add.
37:53I would happily trade all the serums and balms in the world.
37:56You never have to do a wellness week ever again.
37:59Hear, hear.
38:00Cap, please?
38:02No, we can't.
38:03I'm one step ahead of you whiners, as usual.
38:06I spoke to Lenore this morning.
38:08We are not renewing with B Wells.
38:11Didn't hurt that Lenore had broken out in hives from one of the sunless tanners that Bethany had given her.
38:17Well, from now on, when it comes to wellness, stick to the classics.
38:21Eat your veggies, take the stairs, drink water.
38:24And regular checkups.
38:25And maybe a colonic.
38:28Hi. Soup.
38:30It's cooked, I promise.
38:33Is this an olive brunch?
38:36Well, it's my chicken cassoulet with basil oil and white truffle.
38:41All of that raw meat stuff, that was Bethany.
38:44This is more me.
38:47Oh, wow.
38:49That's, um...
38:51That's incredible.
38:52There's more where that came from.
38:54Reminds me.
38:55Chef Rick Mora has suddenly made an abrupt departure from the Odyssey.
39:00Something crazy, like a newborn baby girl or something.
39:04So, Vivian has graciously agreed to stay with us for the rest of the season.
39:09Oh, wait, you quit your job with Bethany?
39:12Congrats.
39:13Yeah, she gave a whole new meaning to toxic work environment.
39:17I'm looking forward to cooking for people who are actually sane.
39:22Well, let me know when you find those people.
39:27Okay.
39:28Well, that's my cue.
39:29This week, I give you three permission to stay below deck while we manage the disembarkment.
39:37Come with?
39:38Yeah, I'll see you around.
39:39Yeah, yeah, okay. I will catch you on the port side.
39:43Really, Tristan?
39:45Real talk.
39:47I almost died last night, didn't I?
39:49What? No.
39:50Once you were out, there were hardly any waves.
39:52Honestly. We breezed right through it. It was simple.
39:55Hmm, yeah. Okay, go on. Get out of here.
39:58You only get two days before the next cruise. You don't want to waste them here.
40:03Roller skating on the boardwalk or play whack-a-mole or whatever it is you do in your free time.
40:08What are you doing?
40:09I was never any good at roller skating.
40:11I don't play whack-a-mole because of ethical issues. Animal cruelty.
40:17Now, if you're not going to eat that soup, I have a delicious new recipe.
40:20It's pizza rolls, but you don't cook them. You eat them raw.
40:23Yes, we pluck them from the pepperoni tree, just like our ancestors used to.
40:28Ah, idiots. Both of you.
40:30If I bust these sutures, you're fixing them.
40:34Okay, deal me a hand. I think I'm getting the hang of this.
40:37Ceremonial grade lip balm. What kind of ceremony needs lip balm?
40:41Oh, wouldn't you love to know.
40:45Ow, ow, ow.
40:47Ow. Ow.
40:49That's right, being a filthy ass.
40:51Stop it.
41:30You