AGENT JACKIE - Hollywood Movie - Jackie Chan & Amber Valletta - Action Comedy Full Movie In English
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00🎵
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00:00:20I'm bleeding my underwear!
00:00:23🎵
00:00:27Peek-a-poo, peek-a-poo, peek-a-poo.
00:00:29Tuffle!
00:00:30Mom, before she starts, there isn't a shred of evidence to support her allegations.
00:00:34Jillian, your son is a psycho.
00:00:36He booby-trapped my hairdryer.
00:00:38Nice hypothesis, but you can't prove it.
00:00:41Yeah, but I can hurt you.
00:00:43Mom! Mom!
00:00:44She needs to be medicated!
00:00:46Come on, Tuffle.
00:00:48Ugh!
00:00:49I hate this family!
00:00:51Come here!
00:00:53Tuffle, you're getting a time-out!
00:00:56♪♪
00:01:02Ha ha.
00:01:03♪♪
00:01:06Aah!
00:01:08Come on, guys.
00:01:10Backpack.
00:01:12♪♪
00:01:15Uh-uh.
00:01:16What? It's in style.
00:01:17It's inappropriate.
00:01:19Go put on some jeans.
00:01:22And spit out the gum.
00:01:25So, what color do you want to wear today?
00:01:28Red?
00:01:29Blue?
00:01:30Purple?
00:01:32Pink, Mama, pink.
00:01:34Baron?
00:01:36What? You said jeans.
00:01:38I meant in your size.
00:01:40♪♪
00:01:42Come on, guys.
00:01:44Come on, we don't want to be late.
00:01:46Here we go.
00:01:47♪♪
00:01:49Ha ha ha.
00:01:51Come on, sweetie.
00:01:52♪♪
00:01:56No!
00:01:57Ow!
00:01:58♪♪
00:02:00No fighting.
00:02:02♪♪
00:02:04Oh.
00:02:06♪♪
00:02:14Allow me.
00:02:16Hi.
00:02:17Hi.
00:02:18Are we still on for dinner?
00:02:19I'll be there.
00:02:21We have an audience.
00:02:23Yuck, I'm gonna vomit.
00:02:25He is such a loser.
00:02:27I like Bob.
00:02:28He's nice.
00:02:29He's a boring pen importer.
00:02:30He does the same routine every day.
00:02:32He's like a robot.
00:02:33That's because he is a robot.
00:02:35A cyborg.
00:02:36It's everyone's future to destroy humanity.
00:02:38Starting with us.
00:02:44Well, it's been three months.
00:02:46Happy anniversary.
00:02:49Oh.
00:02:54What is it?
00:02:58I have to tell you about my job.
00:03:02This might shock you.
00:03:04But you should know everything
00:03:06before this relationship goes further.
00:03:09Don't, Bob.
00:03:11Why?
00:03:13I'm very happy when I'm with you.
00:03:16No one's ever made me laugh like you do.
00:03:19And if I were a single woman,
00:03:20I could see a real future for us.
00:03:22But I'm a package deal.
00:03:25What do you mean?
00:03:27My kids are my priority,
00:03:29and how can I put this gently?
00:03:32They hate me.
00:03:34Yeah.
00:03:35I can make them like me.
00:03:37Oh, see?
00:03:38You can't make kids like you.
00:03:40Not mine or anyone's.
00:03:44My kids have been through a lot,
00:03:46and I don't think we should take the next step
00:03:49until they warm up to you.
00:03:52Doesn't your happiness count?
00:03:57Excuse me.
00:04:02Sorry, I gotta go.
00:04:04Emergency at work.
00:04:06No ink?
00:04:07It's much bigger.
00:04:09Sorry, really.
00:04:11I'll explain everything tomorrow.
00:04:14Okay.
00:04:15I'll see you tomorrow.
00:04:36What took you so long to get here?
00:04:3760 minutes.
00:04:38You stopped for a latte?
00:04:39Oh, I get it.
00:04:40You're, uh...
00:04:41What's the expression?
00:04:42Chopping my bust.
00:04:43Close enough.
00:04:44Poldark and a couple other rooskies
00:04:45just went in the refinery.
00:04:48Dan, I was right.
00:04:50He's planning something.
00:04:51Maybe they just want to fill up their gas tanks for free.
00:04:54I couldn't blame them.
00:04:55No, that man's so crooked,
00:04:56he could eat nails and poop corkscrews.
00:04:58You're the world's foremost authority on Poldark.
00:05:00What do you think he's up to?
00:05:01If his mission is to sabotage the world's oil reserves,
00:05:04why would he care about some two-bit refinery like this one?
00:05:07I'll make sure you get a chance to ask him.
00:05:25How the heck you gonna get in there?
00:05:27Jetpack?
00:05:28It's in the shop.
00:05:38Wait for my signal.
00:05:47Yuri.
00:05:50What's this?
00:05:51C4.
00:05:52When we are done here,
00:05:53I want you to blow this place to smithereens.
00:05:57You got it.
00:05:58You got it.
00:05:59You got it.
00:06:00You got it.
00:06:01You got it.
00:06:02You got it.
00:06:03You got it.
00:06:04You got it.
00:06:05You got it.
00:06:06Oh.
00:06:37Oh.
00:06:43Hurry up.
00:06:44They don't have all day.
00:06:45There is no overtime in here.
00:07:07Get him.
00:07:10Arm hold.
00:07:25I would love to chat,
00:07:27but I gotta go.
00:07:36Come on.
00:08:06Come on.
00:08:20That was fun.
00:08:22A good aerobic workout.
00:08:25We should do this again sometime.
00:08:28Okay, Polo.
00:08:29Let's go.
00:08:36Look on Hodak's face, man.
00:08:41Brilliant work, Bob.
00:08:42Unbelievable.
00:08:43I really hate to see you go home.
00:08:45You're the best agent I've ever had.
00:08:47Hey.
00:08:48You know, I'm standing right here.
00:08:49Maybe I can get your government to loan you to me
00:08:51just a little bit longer.
00:08:52No.
00:08:53This was my last assignment.
00:08:55I'm retiring.
00:08:57Don't tell me because of Jillian.
00:08:59I want a normal life.
00:09:01I want to get married.
00:09:03Oh, heck, man.
00:09:04Don't get married.
00:09:05Find some woman that you're gonna hate in five years
00:09:07and give her your house.
00:09:10Keep the watch.
00:09:12A memento, compliments of the CIA.
00:09:15So, Jillian,
00:09:16is that the woman that lives next door to your cover house?
00:09:18Yeah, they've been, uh, stepping out.
00:09:20I could never give up this life for a woman.
00:09:22We're spies, man.
00:09:23Every little boy wants to be a spy.
00:09:25It's the life.
00:09:26All the hours you spend sitting alone
00:09:27in a little room like this,
00:09:28eating cold takeout food
00:09:29in the back of a surveillance van,
00:09:31getting shot at all the time,
00:09:32learning how to pee in a bottle in a moving vehicle.
00:09:35You're doing the right thing.
00:09:37Only problem is that her kids hate me.
00:09:41You the man.
00:09:43I'm really gonna miss you, home.
00:09:44Good luck with those kids.
00:09:45I brought down dictators.
00:09:47How tough can three kids be?
00:09:51Come on, Ringo.
00:09:52Come on, Ringo.
00:09:53Come on, Ringo.
00:09:54Don't worry.
00:09:55Come on, Ringo.
00:09:56Right here, Ringo.
00:09:58Come on, Ringo.
00:09:59Hi, kids.
00:10:05I'm sorry about running out last night.
00:10:08It's all right.
00:10:09It's your job.
00:10:10No, it was rude.
00:10:11I promise it will never happen again.
00:10:14Aw.
00:10:15Mom, what about Ringo?
00:10:17Aw.
00:10:18We tried everything, sweetheart.
00:10:20He'll come down when he's ready.
00:10:24You wanna see what I've been working on?
00:10:25Sure.
00:10:26Let's go.
00:10:29Ringo, Ringo.
00:10:31Come on, kitty.
00:10:32It's not that far.
00:10:34Please, please, please, Ringo.
00:10:44There you go.
00:10:57So, what do you think?
00:10:59Well, um, wow.
00:11:03It's a work in progress.
00:11:05Sadly, I didn't have any time to work on it today.
00:11:07Cat was on the roof.
00:11:08Satellite's broken again.
00:11:10I spent two hours on hold trying to get a repairman out here.
00:11:13And I can't stop thinking about last night.
00:11:16So, are we okay?
00:11:20I understand.
00:11:23I understand.
00:11:25If a man marries you, he marries off all of you.
00:11:29Don't forget the pig, the cat, and the turtle.
00:11:34So, do you really like it?
00:11:37It frightens me.
00:11:40Sometimes I think I found the last honest man left in the world.
00:11:53I brought you all cookies.
00:11:59Yes?
00:12:00Is it true you're going to marry Bob?
00:12:02What? Whoa, calm down.
00:12:04You can't do this, Jillian.
00:12:05You're, like, so far above him.
00:12:07What she means is he's boring.
00:12:09He's a geek.
00:12:10He's a very nice man who treats me very well.
00:12:13He's a pen importer.
00:12:15He's a cyborg.
00:12:18You all don't know him like I do.
00:12:21He's very passionate about the world and about my art.
00:12:24He likes to talk about history, science, and politics.
00:12:28I see what you mean about him not being boring.
00:12:34Were you all called boring?
00:12:36I called dependable.
00:12:38For once, I'd like a man who goes to work every day at the same time
00:12:41and who comes home every single night.
00:12:43A man who doesn't lie or cheat
00:12:46or leave his family the first time some...
00:12:52...
00:12:58My happiness counts, too.
00:13:03I hate it when old people have feelings.
00:13:07We got a deep six, Bob.
00:13:22What's the story here?
00:13:24They hit Poldark's prison transport caravan at the edge of town.
00:13:27Tell me he didn't get away.
00:13:29Oh, he's as gone as rum cake at an AA meeting.
00:13:32I'm telling you, this whole thing was a set-up.
00:13:34They knew he was coming.
00:13:37Are you saying there's a mole in the agency?
00:13:39I'm not saying anything except he got away.
00:13:51Welcome back.
00:14:05Good job.
00:14:07You can imagine what it's like in there.
00:14:10The oppressive dark side of life.
00:14:13You can't even imagine what it's like.
00:14:17You can imagine what it's like in there.
00:14:19The oppressive darkness and the torture of empty days stretching for years.
00:14:24Prison is hell.
00:14:26You were in there for four hours.
00:14:29Enough tearful reunion.
00:14:33I need a new batch of the formula as soon as possible.
00:14:38We run another test in two days.
00:14:42I need a change of clothes.
00:14:44Something current and fashionable.
00:14:46And something to eat that does not come with a toy.
00:15:14Come on, let's go.
00:15:44Honey, we're getting ready to carve pumpkins downstairs.
00:15:47You want to join us?
00:15:48Absolutely, because I'm a loser and I have no life.
00:15:52Did I mention we're going to toast the pumpkin seeds?
00:15:56Come on.
00:15:58I want you to join the family.
00:16:00And I want some privacy.
00:16:02Don't get fresh with me.
00:16:03I'll use whatever tone of voice I want to use with you.
00:16:05Farron, I want you downstairs.
00:16:07And I want you downstairs.
00:16:09And I want you downstairs.
00:16:11I'll use whatever tone of voice I want to use with you.
00:16:13Farron, I want you downstairs.
00:16:15I'm not going to come downstairs right now. Get out.
00:16:17Farron, this is my house. You will listen to me.
00:16:19You don't owe me. Get out.
00:16:20I said get out, Jillian. Get out.
00:16:22Downstairs in five minutes.
00:16:24I hate this house. I hate this family. Get out.
00:16:28No, she won't hear me. I'm on the roof.
00:16:31It's like the only place I can get any privacy in this loony bin.
00:16:36I can't let Jillian marry this guy.
00:16:39No, it's not that. I mean, you're right.
00:16:41He is a total drone, but that's not the issue.
00:16:44What's going to happen when my dad comes for me?
00:16:46I don't know.
00:16:48I don't know.
00:16:50I don't know.
00:16:52I don't know.
00:16:54I don't know.
00:16:56What's going to happen when my dad comes back?
00:16:59He won't just leave me here alone. He'll be back.
00:17:02And if she's married, what happens then?
00:17:05I don't know.
00:17:15Mom, Ant's feeding Duffel bacon.
00:17:18Okay, that's just wrong.
00:17:20Why is it wrong?
00:17:27I don't know.
00:17:37Hey, so how's it going with those kids?
00:17:40I'm taking Jillian and the children on a picnic.
00:17:42I'm going to force those kids to like me.
00:17:44Force them?
00:17:46You know, you might as well try scratching your ear with your elbow.
00:17:49Guess what?
00:17:51Poldark escaped.
00:17:54No longer my problem.
00:17:56Yeah, I know.
00:17:58But, uh, we recovered a file.
00:18:00Seems to be an entry portal to a website.
00:18:02But we can't crack it.
00:18:04I thought maybe you could take a look at it.
00:18:06Hey, if you can figure it out, great.
00:18:08If you can't, no harm, no foul.
00:18:10As a favor to you, send it to my home computer.
00:18:14Already did.
00:18:16Oh, while I'm thinking about it,
00:18:18they suspect there may be a mole at the agency.
00:18:21They suspect me?
00:18:23No.
00:18:25You know, Glaze thinks you're the sharpest barb on the wire.
00:18:28I have no idea what that means.
00:18:30Hey, listen, man, have fun on your picnic.
00:18:33And just shoot me back when you check out that file.
00:18:35Thanks.
00:18:52I saw your encryption.
00:18:54Let's see what you've got.
00:19:11Is it noon already?
00:19:13No, I have bad news.
00:19:16My father's in the hospital.
00:19:18Oh, that's terrible.
00:19:20He plays senior softball and he slid into third,
00:19:22and now he's having his hip replaced.
00:19:24That's terrible.
00:19:26I have to leave the kids in flight at Denver to take care of Dad.
00:19:30That's great.
00:19:32What are you talking about?
00:19:34Let me watch the kids.
00:19:36It will give us a chance to get to know each other.
00:19:38No, Bob.
00:19:40You, them, I don't know.
00:19:43My aunt's flying in from San Antonio.
00:19:45She's very good with the kids.
00:19:47She was in the military.
00:19:49Julia, this could be just what we need.
00:19:51You really think you can handle that kind of pressure?
00:19:54The driving, the schoolwork, and then there's Halloween,
00:19:57getting their costumes, finishing decorating the house.
00:20:00No problem. Halloween is my favorite.
00:20:03You have nothing to worry about.
00:20:05They'll be perfectly safe with me.
00:20:07It's not them I'm worried about.
00:20:12You can't be serious.
00:20:14Isn't there any other option?
00:20:16Foster care? Juvenile home?
00:20:22Love you guys.
00:20:26I'm going to miss you.
00:20:28Yeah, it's proven by this total abandonment.
00:20:30You'll survive.
00:20:32I'll buy you something from the hospital gift shop.
00:20:34Bye. Love you.
00:20:36See you later. Bye.
00:20:42So, is this exciting or what?
00:20:47Well, I'll just pack a few things,
00:20:50and we'll go to your house, okay?
00:21:04Slobey! I knew he cut his own hair.
00:21:07Nothing telling in his DVD collection.
00:21:09Standard action movies, mainstream comedies,
00:21:12no sci-fi, and nothing about PG-13.
00:21:16Hey, his computer. Let's check it out.
00:21:19Good idea. There's got to be some dirt on there.
00:21:24Oh, wow. Fashion Armageddon.
00:21:27I haven't forgotten, Colton.
00:21:29I will look at the file.
00:21:31But this is important.
00:21:33What is Halloween?
00:21:37Whoa, Farron, do you realize what this is?
00:21:40It's got you all worked up.
00:21:42It's got you all worked up?
00:21:44Let me guess. A Klingon dictionary?
00:21:46You have me confused with an entirely different class of geek.
00:21:49Stockholm GBH.
00:21:51Grievous Bodily Harm.
00:21:53Live in Stockholm.
00:21:55This is one of the rarest bootleg concerts in the world.
00:21:58Why does Bob have it?
00:22:00Who cares? I'm gonna download it.
00:22:04This is my ticket to Coolsville.
00:22:13This is what you bring me to wear?
00:22:17You said you wanted current.
00:22:20I look like the first prince of Belarus.
00:22:23Send someone out to get me something elegant.
00:22:26What is this problem you found?
00:22:28I went on to download the formula
00:22:31and found this site being accessed by third party.
00:22:34If the United States or China has the formula,
00:22:37they can develop antibody for it.
00:22:39I'm tracing the ISP, but it's heavily encrypted.
00:22:41It will take me a while to track it down.
00:22:43Find whoever downloaded my formula.
00:22:46Retrieve it.
00:22:48And?
00:22:50Kill them.
00:23:00What's up with you?
00:23:02I'm gonna kill you!
00:23:04What? I'm gonna kill you!
00:23:06Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!
00:23:08He's hurting me!
00:23:11Hey, stop!
00:23:13What's going on here?
00:23:15She threw a stink bomb in my room.
00:23:17What? That's so not true!
00:23:19Oh, so what? You're saying I threw a stink bomb in my own room?
00:23:22Just to get you in trouble?
00:23:24Sad. So sad.
00:23:28Baron, I'm very disappointed in you.
00:23:31You two should be in bed by now.
00:23:34Well, if we finish our homework in time,
00:23:36Jillian lets us stay up till midnight.
00:23:40She also likes us to watch Adult Swim.
00:23:42It's kind of a tradition.
00:23:45I didn't really think this one through.
00:23:57Nora!
00:23:59Let's get ready for bed!
00:24:01I don't wanna go to bed!
00:24:04Only my mummy can catch me!
00:24:11Here I come!
00:24:14Hey, come back!
00:24:16Now I've got you!
00:24:19Come back!
00:24:24I've got you!
00:24:26Come back!
00:24:28I've got you!
00:24:30Come back!
00:24:35Nora!
00:24:37Come on!
00:24:40Only my mummy can catch me!
00:24:42Only my mummy can catch me!
00:24:46Mummy's catching me!
00:24:49You!
00:24:52No!
00:24:57Can your mummy do that?
00:24:59Sleep.
00:25:21Get out!
00:25:31Hello?
00:25:32You're alive. That's a good sign.
00:25:35How are the kids?
00:25:37We had a great night. Easy as pie.
00:25:40Really? You're with my kids, right?
00:25:44Bob?
00:25:46The other night, it just didn't feel right.
00:25:50The other night at dinner, you were gonna say something about your job,
00:25:54and I cut you off.
00:25:56You wanna tell me now?
00:25:59It can wait until you get back.
00:26:03I really think this was a good idea.
00:26:06I'm sure the worst is behind us.
00:26:19Just a second.
00:26:50I got it!
00:26:53Fire!
00:27:08Everything will be fine.
00:27:10All meals ready.
00:27:13Jack-gun, it's not your day.
00:27:16You sure your mother lets you go to school like that?
00:27:19Duh, Bob.
00:27:21Duh, Bob.
00:27:35Well, you guys have a nice day.
00:27:39So, what do you do all day?
00:27:42Nothing. I'm full.
00:27:50You're full of it?
00:27:52Yeah, full of it.
00:27:54I'm telling you, I downloaded it yesterday.
00:27:57Really?
00:27:59Yeah.
00:28:01I'm telling you, I downloaded it yesterday.
00:28:04Really?
00:28:06I downloaded it yesterday.
00:28:08Really? If you really had that, that'd be pretty cool.
00:28:10Yeah, pretty cool.
00:28:12Let's hear it, then.
00:28:18Trying to pop our ears is nothing but a bunch of static.
00:28:21I don't get it.
00:28:23I get it. You're a pathetic little nerd and a liar.
00:28:25Let's get him.
00:28:27No!
00:28:29Put me down!
00:28:31Put me down!
00:28:33Okay, you asked for it.
00:28:37You guys are going to hear from me and my lawyer.
00:28:40Oh, you people! Each and every one of you!
00:28:51So, tell me more about Halloween.
00:28:54It's the best.
00:28:56You get candy.
00:28:58Everyone pretends to be someone else.
00:29:00And nobody knows who you really are.
00:29:03Sounds familiar.
00:29:06So, what do you want to be?
00:29:08A Frankenstein?
00:29:10A zombie?
00:29:12Sweetie, do you want to be a princess?
00:29:15Yeah.
00:29:22Okay.
00:29:24Princess.
00:29:29Nora.
00:29:32Not really.
00:29:34Princess. Princess.
00:29:38Princess.
00:29:42Ta-da!
00:29:44Pink.
00:29:46Pink?
00:30:02Ah!
00:30:08Ta-da! Princess.
00:30:10It's too big.
00:30:12Too big?
00:30:15Okay.
00:30:18Nora?
00:30:20Nora?
00:30:24Nora?
00:30:29Nora?
00:30:47Nora?
00:30:53Nora?
00:30:59Nora?
00:31:01Sorry. Sorry.
00:31:08Nora?
00:31:17Nora?
00:31:31Nora!
00:31:33Please don't run Nora over again.
00:31:35I'm sorry, Bob.
00:31:37Let's go pay for your costume.
00:31:41Yo, it's Ho.
00:31:45Just hold him till I get there.
00:31:54Can I just say before we begin
00:31:56that only in the current distressed condition
00:31:58of the American public school system
00:32:00could I be deposited headfirst into a garbage can
00:32:04and yet I'm the one who winds up responsible for it.
00:32:07Into a garbage can and yet I'm the one
00:32:09who winds up receiving disciplinary action.
00:32:13Who exactly are you?
00:32:15Oh, I'm his mother's, uh, uh...
00:32:19Neighbor.
00:32:21Neighbor. I'm watching him for a few days.
00:32:24Well, this is not the first time Ian has been in trouble.
00:32:27He gets in fights, he lies.
00:32:29Hey, I don't lie.
00:32:31You told everyone you invited Selena Gomez to the spring dance.
00:32:35Her appearance for you was an obstacle.
00:32:37You said you spent New Year's Eve at the Playboy Mansion.
00:32:40Hey, pay-per-view high def. I felt like I was there.
00:32:49I'm telling you, lying is a dangerous game.
00:32:52Bob, you sell pens. What do you...
00:32:55Oh, no, that's them.
00:32:57Who?
00:32:59The future felons put me in the trash can.
00:33:01Hey, geek boy, we got detention because of you.
00:33:04You're going to pay for that.
00:33:06Gentlemen, we don't want trouble.
00:33:08Who's this? Your mom?
00:33:10You wish. He's my bodyguard. I hired him.
00:33:13You better watch out.
00:33:15That true?
00:33:16No, he's joking. I'm the babysitter.
00:33:19What are you going to do?
00:33:21Ask you politely to allow us to pass.
00:33:25Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:33:30Here.
00:33:35How humiliating.
00:33:37Why didn't you do something?
00:33:39Why did you tell them I was your bodyguard?
00:33:42You're right. I guess it was too big a stretch.
00:33:59Hey, how you doing?
00:34:01How you doing? I'm Ian.
00:34:03I told you you had a beautiful body.
00:34:05You hold it against me.
00:34:07Ew.
00:34:10At least you're not shy.
00:34:12I wanted to talk to her in the worst way.
00:34:15Mission accomplished.
00:34:21Come here.
00:34:23You look so pretty.
00:34:26Farron, I didn't know you did gymnastics.
00:34:29Why would you? You don't know anything about me.
00:34:32You come over to hang out with Jillian,
00:34:34and you never even talk to us.
00:34:36Come on, let's go.
00:34:40The woman's got a point.
00:34:48We don't know who you are sending out to buy my clothes,
00:34:52but I want them killed.
00:34:55You could go yourself.
00:34:57I'm the most wanted man in America.
00:35:00I cannot exactly browse the racks of J.C. Penney's.
00:35:04Just give me something double-blending,
00:35:06something extremely American.
00:35:08Sir, we are ready to run the test.
00:35:22Oh!
00:35:42Magnificent.
00:35:45Oh!
00:35:50Oh!
00:35:53She must have plastic in her shoes.
00:35:55It will eat any petroleum product.
00:36:00We're working on that.
00:36:07What happened to the bacteria?
00:36:09They live as long as they feed.
00:36:11Once the oil is gone, they disappear.
00:36:13Just like my Jimmy Choo's.
00:36:24Come in.
00:36:31Listen about today.
00:36:32You could have stood up for me, you know.
00:36:34I have to face those guys.
00:36:36So face them.
00:36:38Unless you want to spend the rest of your life
00:36:40with your head in the trash can.
00:36:42Thanks for the advice, Pop.
00:36:44All my problems are solved.
00:36:54They assign this in middle school?
00:36:56No, that's my pleasure reading.
00:37:02You're smart.
00:37:04You have a lot going for you.
00:37:06Why do you make things up?
00:37:08Girls aren't exactly impressed by astrophysics.
00:37:11Given the resources,
00:37:13I could design, build, and launch a rocket
00:37:15that would accurately circumscribe
00:37:17an orbit of the moon.
00:37:19But other guys can, you know,
00:37:22throw a ball through a hoop.
00:37:26I don't want you to get in trouble.
00:37:29I'll make you a deal.
00:37:31If you try to tell the truth from now on,
00:37:33I won't tell your mother about today.
00:37:35Really?
00:37:37Dude, that's almost cool.
00:37:40You mean for a guy who sells pens?
00:37:49Come on, kids. Time for bed.
00:37:52Come on. One more spoonful.
00:38:10Nora.
00:38:15When the tree breaks,
00:38:17the baby falling out
00:38:19and relaying on the ground.
00:38:22When the baby...
00:38:28When the tree breaks,
00:38:30the baby falling out
00:38:32and relaying on the ground.
00:38:34When the baby...
00:38:39This one.
00:38:41I learned it in China when I was young.
00:39:09It's me.
00:39:11I need your help.
00:39:40I had to make up one heck of a yarn
00:39:42to get all this stuff.
00:39:44What did you tell them?
00:39:46Well, let's just say if I don't find
00:39:48some weapons-grade uranium by dawn,
00:39:50I'm in trouble.
00:39:52What do you need all this for?
00:39:54Get the kids ready for school.
00:39:56Well, that's like my mom always used to say
00:39:58when she was stationed over in East Berlin.
00:40:00She'd say, it's fine. It's easy.
00:40:02Parenting's hard.
00:40:04Good luck.
00:40:10I'm calling the police.
00:40:21Bring it on!
00:40:23Dad, we're in there all morning.
00:40:25Let me in!
00:40:27Dad, we're running.
00:40:29Dad!
00:40:32Let me in!
00:40:35Dad, we're in there all morning.
00:40:36Let me in!
00:40:38Hey! Guess it's my turn.
00:40:45And Farron, please put on the longer skirt.
00:40:51This means war.
00:40:58One way or another, I'm gonna find ya.
00:41:02I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya.
00:41:04One way or another, I'm gonna win ya.
00:41:08I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya.
00:41:10One way or another, I'm gonna see ya.
00:41:14I wanna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya one day.
00:41:17Maybe next week, I'm gonna meet ya.
00:41:20I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya.
00:41:22I will drive past your house
00:41:28And if the lights are all down
00:41:34Stay with Bob.
00:41:40One way or another, I'm gonna see ya.
00:41:44I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya one day.
00:41:47Maybe next week, I'm gonna meet ya.
00:41:50I'll meet ya.
00:41:52And if the lights are all out
00:41:58I'll follow your bus downtown
00:42:03See you hanging out.
00:42:17Where is he?
00:42:18Hiding.
00:42:19He's probably gonna trick us and open the door.
00:42:22Help me put these away.
00:42:30One way or another, I'm gonna lose ya.
00:42:34I'm gonna give you the slip.
00:42:36Here.
00:42:37You know the rules.
00:42:39No soda upstairs.
00:42:41What?
00:42:42How did you know?
00:42:44I'm gonna lose ya.
00:42:46I'm gonna trick ya, trick ya, trick ya, trick ya one way.
00:42:49Or another, I'm gonna lose ya.
00:42:52I'm gonna give you the slip.
00:42:58I'm gonna lose ya.
00:43:06Breakfast is served.
00:43:12All right, I'm going back.
00:43:16Ah!
00:43:27Night-night.
00:43:32It's a school night. You should be asleep.
00:43:35How did you find me?
00:43:37Call it a hunch.
00:43:46Why do you call your mother Jillian instead of Mom?
00:43:50She's not my mom.
00:43:53What do you mean?
00:43:55My father was married before.
00:43:57And my real mom died when I was little.
00:43:59Jillian is just my stepmother.
00:44:01And Ian Nora, just my half-brother and sister.
00:44:04I'm like the freak of the family.
00:44:07He must have hurt your feelings when he left you.
00:44:12He must have hurt your feelings when he left.
00:44:15He'll be back for me.
00:44:17I know he's not the greatest dad in the world, but he loves me.
00:44:20And he's not gonna leave me here alone.
00:44:28Anyway, you should not climb the roof like this.
00:44:31It's not safe.
00:44:33Please don't tell me I can't come up here.
00:44:35It's like the only place I can chill.
00:44:38Actually, I was going to offer to build you a railing.
00:44:42Are you trying to bribe me into liking you?
00:44:45I just want you to be safe.
00:44:53Mind if I chill with you?
00:44:56It's a free country.
00:45:09Good news.
00:45:11We got an address.
00:45:16Good.
00:45:18Take some men.
00:45:20Get the Donald back.
00:45:22Ta-ta.
00:45:26I'm sorry.
00:45:28I'm sorry.
00:45:30I'm sorry.
00:45:32I'm sorry.
00:45:34I'm sorry.
00:45:36Good job.
00:45:40No survivors.
00:45:45Hey, boss, you like?
00:45:53No like?
00:46:02May I make a couple of fashion suggestions?
00:46:05Women don't like the shiitake.
00:46:08Mess up your hair.
00:46:10You know about fashion?
00:46:12No, but I know women.
00:46:15Wear it like this.
00:46:17It's cool. I saw it in the movie.
00:46:20What movie? Octopussy?
00:46:22This isn't 1985.
00:46:24I almost forgot.
00:46:26What's this?
00:46:28Icky Pop and David Bowie in Shanghai.
00:46:30What?
00:46:31This is only about the hardest concert to find in the world.
00:46:34I guarantee no one else in the school district has it.
00:46:37You downloaded this for me?
00:46:39Don't worry. I paid for it.
00:46:41How did you even know about it?
00:46:43Easy. I was there.
00:46:54Bob, you're getting too efficient.
00:46:56We're half an hour early.
00:46:58You're welcome.
00:47:01Have a great day.
00:47:05Hey, cool look, Aaron.
00:47:07Thanks. It's Ian.
00:47:09Whatever.
00:47:35Have a great day.
00:47:37Look, the talk on the roof the other night doesn't mean we're friends.
00:47:41God forbid.
00:48:05Yeah, we're here.
00:48:07There is nobody around.
00:48:09I found the computer,
00:48:11but the file was downloaded to an external storage device.
00:48:14I can't find that.
00:48:17Oh my God.
00:48:19I think I just figured out who lives here.
00:48:22Idiot.
00:48:35Hello.
00:48:37You must stop shooting things, Antosha.
00:48:40I said it would be bad if the CIA or Chinese had it,
00:48:44but he's both.
00:48:46Find him, but keep him alive.
00:48:49I need to know who else he sold this to.
00:48:57Listen up, now.
00:48:59Everyone, in here.
00:49:05We must locate Chinese intelligence agent Bob Hope.
00:49:09He's very tricky.
00:49:11The best at what he does.
00:49:13He won't be easy to find.
00:49:15Um, Ms. Creel...
00:49:17No, no. Imagine you are Chinese.
00:49:19Highly trained, and you want to disappear.
00:49:22I see him climbing with a bunch of skulls and a rope.
00:49:25Oh, yeah. He's not gonna be a barbarian.
00:49:28Good try, though.
00:49:30No, I see him. There!
00:49:35Go! Go!
00:49:38Get him up! Get him up! Get up!
00:49:40Don't kill him yet! We need information!
00:49:47Get him up! Get him up!
00:49:55No, Bob, no! No, Bob, no!
00:49:57No, Bob, no!
00:49:59Come here, sweetheart.
00:50:01Get back here!
00:50:05Are you here?
00:50:15Let go!
00:50:20Get back, ladybug!
00:50:22Let go!
00:50:23Did you hurt my turtle?
00:50:25Not now.
00:50:34Yay, more!
00:50:38You will pay for that little American princess!
00:50:58Again! Again! Again!
00:51:01Okay.
00:51:08Why did you pull us out of school?
00:51:10Who cares? We're out.
00:51:12Why are you in the front seat anyway? It's my day.
00:51:14No, it isn't. It's my day!
00:51:16No, it's not your day! You're a liar!
00:51:18Today is my day!
00:51:20No! No!
00:51:22You've been in there three days in a row!
00:51:24Quiet!
00:51:26I'm still hungry.
00:51:31It doesn't look like they have chicken tenders here.
00:51:35Wait inside. I have to make a call.
00:51:45This is Firefly.
00:51:47This is Bob Ho. I need help.
00:51:52Yeah, so I get pretty good grades at this university.
00:51:55And top of the class.
00:51:57So I get pretty good grades at this university.
00:51:59And top of the class. I don't like to brag, but you know.
00:52:02Bob, this is Larry.
00:52:04Pleased to meet you, sir.
00:52:06Let's get some food.
00:52:08He goes to the university. He's a poet. Isn't it cool?
00:52:14He's rad. He's awesome.
00:52:16This is chicken for sushi. It's bomb.
00:52:21Let's go.
00:52:23Hey!
00:52:25How embarrassing.
00:52:27You know, most people don't like me when they first meet me.
00:52:30But Larry did.
00:52:34I have two words for you, Larry.
00:52:37Thirteen.
00:52:55I have to go.
00:52:57All right, Nora.
00:52:59Come on.
00:53:01You two stay at the table.
00:53:07No, no, no.
00:53:09I can't go in there.
00:53:21Where's your peers?
00:53:26Careful.
00:53:38And the lion jumped on me.
00:53:40And I killed him with my bare hands.
00:53:42And I saved the colonel's life.
00:53:44You're brave.
00:53:46Thanks.
00:53:48How about this, Bob?
00:53:50The whole restaurant and the waitress sat Larry here.
00:53:52Isn't it great?
00:53:54It's like it's made or something.
00:53:56Really, sir, we're just goofing around.
00:53:58Hey, Nora. Knock, knock.
00:54:00Who's there?
00:54:02Irish stew.
00:54:04Irish stew who?
00:54:06Irish stew in the name of the law.
00:54:10Larry was telling me all about the university.
00:54:12It sounds great.
00:54:14I'd be glad to give you a tour sometime.
00:54:16It's not up to you. You're not my dad.
00:54:18No, but I know that your mother hasn't completely lost her mind.
00:54:22It's just a tour, Bob.
00:54:24It's not like he's asking me out on a date or anything.
00:54:26Are you?
00:54:28No, it's just a friendly offer.
00:54:30Even if it was a date,
00:54:32you still couldn't stop me.
00:54:39What's your major, Larry?
00:54:41English Lit.
00:54:43Would you pass the soy sauce?
00:54:46That way I get a background in the classics.
00:54:51You're welcome.
00:54:54You speak Russian, Larry?
00:54:57What's going on?
00:54:59Go, go, go.
00:55:18This is going to be painful.
00:55:20You're right about that.
00:55:25Go, go, go.
00:55:29Go, go, go.
00:55:35Maybe you're right about this.
00:55:47Goodbye, Larry.
00:55:59Bye.
00:56:05Fine, he's too old for me.
00:56:07Bob, I don't want to be a princess anymore.
00:56:09I want to be a cyborg.
00:56:11How did he find us so fast?
00:56:13It doesn't make sense.
00:56:15Bob, what's going on?
00:56:17Please, quiet. I'm trying to think.
00:56:21All right, all right, fine, fine.
00:56:25I am international spy on loan to the CIA
00:56:27from the Chinese intelligence service.
00:56:29Someone wants me dead.
00:56:31And Larry was a Russian operative, okay?
00:56:33Fine, don't tell us.
00:56:37Cool.
00:56:43Why we come alone?
00:56:47Stay here.
00:56:51Where are the kids?
00:56:53Inside.
00:56:55Nothing else matters until these kids are safe.
00:56:57Nothing. Of course.
00:56:59Colton sent up that safe house form like you requested.
00:57:01Wait, got that file on you?
00:57:03What file?
00:57:05The one Colton linked you to from Poldark's computer.
00:57:07Your download. I didn't download it.
00:57:09I never even got it open.
00:57:11Don't BS me, Bob.
00:57:13It's classified material. I need all copies.
00:57:15Why would you think I downloaded it?
00:57:17Unless someone told you I had.
00:57:19Someone who wanted it back.
00:57:21Let's not make this thing harder than it has to be.
00:57:23You're a Korea officer.
00:57:25Why do this?
00:57:27I want out, same as you. We're both leaving for love.
00:57:29Only I love money.
00:57:31And Anton Poldark is Match.com. The file!
00:57:35Hey.
00:57:37Easy.
00:57:45Good work.
00:57:47No.
00:57:53Can I just say you are by far the coolest guy
00:57:55my mom has ever dated.
00:57:59At least now I know how the kid Larry
00:58:01found us so fast.
00:58:03How?
00:58:05The watch. Grace told me to keep the watch.
00:58:07It must have a tracking device.
00:58:09Wow.
00:58:11You really are a spy.
00:58:13Jillian is totally gonna freak.
00:58:23What are you doing?
00:58:25There's iron in these rocks.
00:58:27It will hide the signal.
00:58:29Watch, please.
00:58:31You realize if I told anyone at school this story,
00:58:33I'd get detention for a year for lying.
00:58:39Hey.
00:58:41Hey.
00:58:43Hey.
00:58:45Hey.
00:58:47Hey.
00:58:49Hey.
00:58:51Hey.
00:58:57Yes?
00:58:59Hey, partner. Where you at?
00:59:01Why do you ask?
00:59:03I needed to pick up that file I sent you.
00:59:06You know the one I want you to open for me?
00:59:09Bob?
00:59:11You there?
00:59:13Coley.
00:59:15I never thought you would sold out to Product.
00:59:17Hey, that's crazy, man.
00:59:19Something's wrong.
00:59:21Nice try. Bob?
00:59:24Bob?
00:59:32We'll be safe here, I promise.
00:59:35This is your plan? Hide out in a hotel?
00:59:38Doesn't look like they have chicken tenders here either.
00:59:52This is awesome!
00:59:55Can we order room service?
00:59:57Are you crazy? I'm going home.
00:59:59No. The only place you're safe is with me.
01:00:02Safe with you? Everybody's trying to kill you.
01:00:05I know. Isn't it cool?
01:00:07Hey Bob, if you want to marry my mom, I'll personally write the invitations.
01:00:14Bob?
01:00:18Bob?
01:00:20Bob?
01:00:46Love you, Bob.
01:00:50Is that your plan?
01:01:02Be realistic, Bob.
01:01:09Hello. Hi, Jillian.
01:01:11Hi, sweetheart.
01:01:13Yeah, Grandpa just fell asleep. I was gonna call you guys.
01:01:16I have to tell you something.
01:01:18I know this is going to hurt you, but I have to tell you.
01:01:21Are you alright?
01:01:23I'm fine. It's about Bob.
01:01:26What about him?
01:01:28He's not who you think he is. He's a spy. A Chinese spy.
01:01:31And these terrorists are trying to kill him, and now the CIA's after him too, and they...
01:01:34Farron, I know you don't like Bob, but come on.
01:01:38I'd expect this from Ian, but not from you.
01:01:41What? No, it's true. He's gonna get us all killed. Don't you even care?
01:01:45Farron, this conversation is over. Put Bob on.
01:01:56Hi, Jillian.
01:01:58Bob, I am so sorry. I don't know what's gotten into her.
01:02:02It's true.
01:02:04What is?
01:02:06Everything she said is all true.
01:02:09Whatever this is, it isn't funny.
01:02:12The kids are safe. I promise I'll give them to you as soon as you get back.
01:02:17You're either telling me the truth, or I've left my kids with a nut job.
01:02:23Either way, you should come and get them.
01:02:43So, you got any other cool spy stuff besides the watch?
01:02:55Don't touch it. It's very sharp.
01:02:59Cool. What else?
01:03:12Cool.
01:03:29Sorry, mister.
01:03:32Airport. Step on it.
01:03:42Bob.
01:03:56Bob, are you awake?
01:03:59Are you kidding?
01:04:01Does he always snore like that?
01:04:04Can't you hear him next door?
01:04:06I always thought it was the pig.
01:04:10It's over with you and Jillian, isn't it?
01:04:15Yes, Farron, it's over.
01:04:18You win.
01:04:20Then why don't I feel like I won?
01:04:23If you really loved her, you wouldn't give up this easily.
01:04:27It's because I love her, and the three of you.
01:04:31Then I'll have to walk away.
01:04:34It's more important that you are safe.
01:04:38I thought I could put my other life behind me, but I can't.
01:04:42Be glad.
01:04:44You're lucky you're not joining this family.
01:04:49You have no idea what it's like to live in a place where you totally don't belong.
01:04:54Don't be so sure.
01:04:56I was an orphan.
01:04:58I was raised in a group home.
01:05:00I never knew my parents, but I had a family.
01:05:03I had dozens of brothers and sisters there,
01:05:07and I wasn't related to any of them.
01:05:10But I loved them all.
01:05:13Family isn't whose blood you carry.
01:05:17It's who you love and who loves you.
01:05:30Jillian!
01:05:33Jillian!
01:05:39Jillian.
01:05:41I'm really sorry about everything.
01:05:49Tell me the truth.
01:05:51Are you really a spy?
01:05:54Yes, I am.
01:05:56I was going to tell you at dinner, but you stopped me.
01:06:00I don't care.
01:06:02You put my children in danger.
01:06:05Just go.
01:06:13Bob.
01:06:15I'm never going to see you again.
01:06:19You're not.
01:06:22Please don't go away.
01:06:24Who's going to send me China songs?
01:06:37You'll be safe. I promise.
01:06:40Stay away from my children.
01:06:45I'm sorry.
01:06:47Stay away from my children.
01:07:17Dear Mom, I am very sorry, but I cannot stay here.
01:07:21My destiny is to be a spy like Bob.
01:07:25Hi-ya!
01:07:27Hi-ya!
01:07:29Hi-ya!
01:07:31Hi-ya!
01:07:33Hi-ya!
01:07:35Hi-ya!
01:07:37Hi-ya!
01:07:39Hi-ya!
01:07:41Hi-ya!
01:07:43Hi-ya!
01:07:46Hi-ya!
01:07:50I'm going with him.
01:07:52Best wishes, your son, Ian.
01:08:16IAN
01:08:18Hospital
01:08:38The whole signal just popped back up.
01:08:40We got him.
01:08:42Let's roll.
01:09:09Bob!
01:09:11Bob!
01:09:13Ian!
01:09:14You left your watch!
01:09:15What are you doing here?
01:09:17Let's go!
01:09:19What do you mean? We just got here.
01:09:32Bob Ho.
01:09:34What a coincidence.
01:09:36Tie them up.
01:09:41Ian.
01:09:43Bob.
01:09:44What are you doing out here?
01:09:46I'm coming with you.
01:09:47I want to be a spy too.
01:09:50Is this the bad guy?
01:09:52I thought he'd be better dressed.
01:09:56How did you find me?
01:09:57I found one of your tracking devices
01:09:59and put it in your pocket when I hugged you goodbye.
01:10:02I'm impressed.
01:10:03Thanks.
01:10:04Can we go back to business?
01:10:06Would you have to mention I'm retired?
01:10:07Retired men don't download secrets.
01:10:09I never download anything.
01:10:11He's lying.
01:10:13Who are you going to believe?
01:10:14Me or the traitor?
01:10:17Someone has been a very naughty boy.
01:10:21He's got cameras and microphones
01:10:23mounted all over the place.
01:10:26Good plan filming us together.
01:10:29How could you turn against your country?
01:10:32It's simple.
01:10:33I'm going to be a billionaire.
01:10:34That file that you didn't download?
01:10:36It's a formula for a growth bacteria hybrid.
01:10:39The stuff literally eats oil.
01:10:42Can you imagine?
01:10:44Overnight, all the world's oil supplies go poof.
01:10:48All except for Russia's.
01:10:50It'll be priceless, right comrade?
01:10:52How did you get Colt to go along with you?
01:10:54Colt?
01:10:55That hillbilly's not part of this.
01:10:57He doesn't know what goes on in the real world.
01:10:59He still thinks wrestling is real.
01:11:01Let the boy go.
01:11:02He has nothing to do with this.
01:11:04Mr. Tichat just laid out our whole plan.
01:11:12We cannot let him go.
01:11:14He will tell.
01:11:15Trust me.
01:11:17No one will believe him.
01:11:19He's right about that.
01:11:23Hey, boss.
01:11:24Look at what I found.
01:11:25Sneaky corrupt.
01:11:26Sorry.
01:11:28Varin?
01:11:29Hi, everybody.
01:11:31Please, have a seat.
01:11:34This can't be happening.
01:11:37Hold on.
01:11:38Let the children go.
01:11:39And I will find this GBH file for you.
01:11:42GBH?
01:11:43Like Stockholm GBH?
01:11:45How do you know that?
01:11:47No freaking way.
01:11:49You're telling me all this is because he downloaded a bootleg concert?
01:11:52He did what?
01:11:54You downloaded it?
01:11:56Wow, these companies take piracy way too seriously.
01:11:59You are messing with my computer.
01:12:01It's private.
01:12:02I just wanted to seem cool.
01:12:04You don't need to.
01:12:06You are cool.
01:12:07You are one of the coolest kids I know.
01:12:10Really?
01:12:11Thanks.
01:12:12Hey, over here.
01:12:14Man with a gun.
01:12:15Wait a minute.
01:12:16I am one of the only kids you know.
01:12:20Where is the file?
01:12:21It's on my iPod on my desk at home.
01:12:24Now, see?
01:12:26You want to be a spy?
01:12:27Never tell the truth to the bad guy.
01:12:30Sorry.
01:12:31I'm new at this.
01:12:32Tatiana.
01:12:33Take some men to the kid's house and find the iPod.
01:12:37What if the family is home?
01:12:41Ever since you dyed your hair blonde.
01:12:43Kill them.
01:12:44No, don't.
01:12:45Go.
01:12:46Bring me that iPod.
01:12:48Come on, go.
01:12:49Go.
01:13:02Now.
01:13:03As for you.
01:13:32Nice.
01:13:37Awesome.
01:13:51Hurry up.
01:13:54Ferran, let's go.
01:13:57I call things out front.
01:13:58Then I pick the radio station.
01:14:00The radio station.
01:14:05Okay, ready?
01:14:09Not good.
01:14:12Hello?
01:14:13Julian, listen to me.
01:14:15Goodbye, Bob.
01:14:25Julian, wait.
01:14:26Don't hang up.
01:14:28Julian.
01:14:30Hang on.
01:14:31We've got to get there before they do.
01:14:39Is there anyone at the agency you can still trust?
01:14:42Someone you can call?
01:14:43Sure, but they tore out my cameras.
01:14:45I have no proof of anything.
01:14:47Accept that.
01:14:48As it happens, I recorded that entire conversation on my cell phone.
01:14:54Way to go, dork.
01:14:58Code.
01:15:01Just listen.
01:15:02I'm going to play you something.
01:15:05A file that you didn't download?
01:15:06It's a formula for a growth bacteria hybrid.
01:15:09The stuff literally eats oil.
01:15:16What is this?
01:15:17It's Halloween.
01:15:18It's Halloween.
01:15:30Happy Halloween.
01:15:35What are you all doing?
01:15:36I thought you were upstairs.
01:15:38Everybody inside.
01:15:40Bob, we need to talk.
01:15:41Mom, this isn't a joke.
01:15:43Do whatever he says.
01:15:45Okay.
01:15:47Get your iPod.
01:15:48His iPod?
01:15:49I demand an explanation.
01:15:50They're coming.
01:15:51Who?
01:15:52The Russians.
01:15:53Russians?
01:16:10I saw them outside.
01:16:11They're coming.
01:16:13Russians?
01:16:14Yes, Jillian. Russians.
01:16:15Let's try and keep up.
01:16:20It's too late.
01:16:21Everybody upstairs.
01:16:22Understand me?
01:16:24Stay there.
01:16:30Where's my stuff?
01:16:31Here, take some of this stuff.
01:16:33What is all this?
01:16:34Protection.
01:16:37Why do you have a lighter?
01:16:38I don't want you playing with fire.
01:16:43No!
01:16:48Okay, maybe just this once.
01:16:49Let's go.
01:16:50Trick or treat!
01:17:13Come on.
01:17:21Hurry.
01:17:22Close it.
01:17:23Oh, so quick.
01:17:24Okay.
01:17:26Come on.
01:17:41We forgot Jeffo!
01:17:42Nora!
01:17:43Nora!
01:17:44Nora!
01:17:47What are you supposed to be?
01:17:48A cyborg sent from the future
01:17:51to blast you away.
01:17:56No!
01:18:01Mommy, Batman can fly!
01:18:26Mom!
01:18:28I can't believe you did this to my family.
01:18:30Endangered my kids.
01:18:32I didn't mean to.
01:18:33I love your kids.
01:18:34I wanted to marry you.
01:18:36All four of you.
01:18:37And I wanted to marry you.
01:18:39But our wedding gifts would have to be opened by the bomb squad.
01:18:42All right, Paul.
01:18:43Enough, Gams.
01:18:46I finally found a normal guy, I thought.
01:18:49Someone who likes to...
01:18:52Can we talk about this later?
01:18:54I finally found a normal guy, I thought.
01:18:56Someone who likes to...
01:18:59Can we talk about this later?
01:19:22You switched belts.
01:19:24Get him!
01:19:35Give me the iPod, kid.
01:19:42Come on.
01:19:43Let's TP to little Geek's house.
01:19:44Yeah.
01:19:45TP.
01:19:54Ah!
01:19:57Hey, guys.
01:20:00Gotta go.
01:20:02Maybe we should just stick to stealing candy from little kids.
01:20:04Yeah, real little kids.
01:20:11This is going to be fun.
01:20:13Hey, Larry.
01:20:14Knock, knock.
01:20:24Come on.
01:20:36Come on, guys.
01:20:37Get in the room and lock the door.
01:20:38Hurry, lock it.
01:20:53Ah!
01:21:00Irish stew in the name of the Lord.
01:21:04Sorry your retirement was so short, Bob.
01:21:10You can kill me.
01:21:11Let the family go.
01:21:12I can't.
01:21:13They've seen too much.
01:21:14But I'll let you go first so you don't have to watch.
01:21:16Hey, mister.
01:21:24Don't think this changes anything.
01:21:27Everybody freeze!
01:21:29It's okay.
01:21:30Gary took good guys.
01:21:36You stinkin' lowlife.
01:21:39Let's go.
01:21:53Hey, loosen these things up.
01:21:54Oh, I'm sorry.
01:21:55What's wrong?
01:21:56Got the handcuffs too tight?
01:21:58I don't know how these things work.
01:21:59I'm just a dumb hillbilly.
01:22:03Everybody okay?
01:22:04Bums and bruises.
01:22:05Ian, this really is the good guy.
01:22:11Hey.
01:22:12What you got there, son?
01:22:15Nice work recording that conversation, partner.
01:22:18This young man might make a heck of a spy someday.
01:22:21Uh-uh.
01:22:30How quickly can you give me orders, Simpson?
01:22:35I'm sorry I suspected you.
01:22:37Don't worry about it, old buddy.
01:22:39Chalk it up to the language barrier.
01:22:52I'm sorry I put you through all this.
01:22:57Goodbye, Jillian.
01:23:01Goodbye, kids.
01:23:05Bob!
01:23:09I'm gonna miss you.
01:23:11I love you, too.
01:23:16I love you, too.
01:23:17I love you, too.
01:23:18I love you, too.
01:23:19I love you, too.
01:23:26Wait.
01:23:29I know we lied.
01:23:31But he did it to protect us.
01:23:32This whole time all he ever wanted to do was protect his mom.
01:23:38Mom...
01:23:44You're never gonna find a man as good as Bob.
01:23:46Never again.
01:23:47I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with Farron.
01:23:59I suppose you have something to say, too.
01:24:01I want Bob to be my daddy.
01:24:18Do you, Jillian, take Bob to be your lawfully wedded husband?
01:24:22I do.
01:24:24And do you, Bob, take Jillian to be your lawfully wedded wife?
01:24:31Jillian, there's one more thing I have to tell you.
01:24:36My name really isn't Bob.
01:24:43It's okay.
01:24:45I do.
01:24:47I now pronounce you man and wife.
01:24:49You may kiss the bride.