JAMES and Sarah first got together in high school and have been together for nine years. They appeared like any other couple growing up together, and moving away for college, but that all changed one year ago when Sarah's gay best friend Hunter expressed his feelings for both of them. The group dynamic began as roommates, and Sarah explained how Hunter broached the subject, "We were sitting down packing and he said 'I've got something to tell you guys, I have feelings for you both'. And James went, 'huh?' And I said 'same!' without skipping a beat." For Hunter, joining a formally straight, closed relationship was discombobulating for his identity, given his sexuality, "I knew I was gay, so I was a little confused", he said. Sarah had also been inwardly struggling with her romantic feelings towards Hunter but had questioned herself, thinking, "One, I'm with James, two, he's gay". James had never been with a man before, and it took a while for him to accept his attraction for Hunter too, learning how to be affectionate and open to a man. James and Sarah now define themselves as bi-sexual, and James said he is bi-romantic. Despite finding their groove with each other as a three, and becoming happier for it, many of their loved ones who had seen James and Sarah monogamously together for many years were worried about the sudden change to their status quo. "One of my friends thought it was an April Fools prank, she was weirded out by it", Sarah said. "She was asking if I was okay". Her family questioned if adding a third partner was her choice or James's, saying things like "Is this for you, or is this for him?" The throuple have now been together for a year and are going stronger than ever. James said, "I feel like when we first started out we were worried about how we were perceived and how our friends and family would think about us, but at the end of the day we are just doing what makes us happy and if people want to judge, so be it."
Category
🗞
NewsTranscript
00:00My friend turned my boyfriend by.
00:02My name is James.
00:04My name is Sarah.
00:06My name is Hunter.
00:07James and I have been together since high school.
00:10James, he never was with a guy.
00:12Yeah.
00:13I cared for her a little bit more than a friend,
00:16but at the same time I knew I was gay.
00:18So I was a little confused.
00:20One of my friends, she was weirded out by it.
00:24It was very much a, like, what are you doing?
00:28I think the worst judgment we've gotten is from family.
00:30Is this for you or is it for him?
00:38Okay, so...
00:40I feel like you look at us from, like, an outside perspective.
00:43Majority of the time it just kind of looks like a group of friends.
00:45Yeah.
00:46And then I kiss him and then I kiss him and then...
00:51That's where the confusion comes.
00:53Hi, my name is Sarah.
00:55My name is James.
00:56Hi, my name is Hunter.
00:57I'm bisexual.
00:58I would also say my sexuality is bisexual.
01:02So, my sexuality, I am actually a gay man who is biromantic.
01:09We first got together back in high school.
01:12I met Hunter when we all were trying to find a place to live
01:17after we got done doing college.
01:19We moved in together and we were roommates.
01:26And that's where it all began.
01:28And, you know, one-bedroom apartment and all that.
01:31Yeah, we get pretty close.
01:33Have you ever considered adding a third person to your relationship
01:36before you guys met Hunter?
01:38No, we have never considered having a third...
01:42adding a third person to the relationship before.
01:44I'm a jealous person, I will say that.
01:47So, that was never anything that I had ever, like,
01:51ever crossed my mind in the slightest.
01:53I prefer monogamy, truthfully.
01:55I prefer monogamy until we got into whatever this is, honestly.
02:01That's been going on now for almost a year.
02:04I actually realized that I cared for her a little bit more than a friend,
02:09but at the same time I knew I was gay.
02:11So, I was a little confused myself.
02:13After realizing that, I think that's also kind of when I came to the realization
02:17of, like, do I have feelings for James?
02:20When did you catch on?
02:22I think maybe around the same time?
02:24And I was just kind of like, what?
02:27What?
02:28One, I'm with James.
02:29Two, he's gay.
02:31Like, get that out of your head.
02:32Hello?
02:33What is wrong with you?
02:34And it wasn't like those feelings for you, James, like, ever diminished
02:37or ever, you know, went away in any way, shape, or form.
02:41And we were sitting down packing, he said,
02:45I guess I'm going to tell you guys, I have feelings for you both.
02:49And James went, huh?
02:51And then I said, same, like, without skipping a beat.
02:55And then I went, huh?
02:58And he was just very caught off guard, and me and him kept exchanging looks,
03:02like, did we just break him?
03:03What did we just do?
03:04I would say what I caught feeling, they weren't fully there yet,
03:07but after we decided to try this out, I really started to, like, feel like,
03:10wow, like, I actually really do love and care about him.
03:14Yeah, I think that's the crazy thing.
03:16Like, when we first got into this thruple, James had no intimate feelings for me.
03:21After we got into the thruple, that's when he tried to start exploring.
03:25My feelings for you never diminished either.
03:27We'll just leave that out there.
03:28They were still good and strong.
03:30I came with me outside.
03:31You two were together for eight years.
03:33At the time, you also weren't out either.
03:35That's also true.
03:36So, like, you were, you had feelings for guys,
03:41but you also didn't want to admit it to not just us, but yourself.
03:45I never really fully, like, come to terms with it,
03:48but, like, in the back of my mind, I thought about it,
03:51and over time, it became something that I knew I enjoyed,
03:55and that made me happy.
03:57Who had s**t with who?
03:59Like, what's the deal here?
04:01Okay, so me and James will have s**t.
04:07James and Hunter will have s**t.
04:09Me and Hunter, that's kind of where that gets a little bit complicated
04:12because Hunter, as he said, is a gay man.
04:16But I do still want to please her.
04:19So, in order to do that, I've got an app on my phone,
04:22we use a remote control, things like that.
04:24I can't do anything with my mouth or, like, my downstairs.
04:29I can't do anything with that.
04:30And he's going to stay soft as a caterpillar.
04:34Like, he's chilling. He's chilling.
04:35Now, if James would try the same stuff, we've got to go to another room.
04:38You know what I mean?
04:39Like, we've got to go.
04:40Some examples of doubt that I know I've heard.
04:43You guys don't actually love each other.
04:45This is just fine.
04:46Yeah, it's a phase.
04:47It's a phase.
04:48You'll enjoy yourselves, and then you'll go back to your normal life.
04:52Well, this is normal life for us.
04:55Maybe you guys are just going through a rough patch,
04:57and is this for you or is it for him?
05:01And not thinking that it was a thing that was for both of us.
05:06One of my friends, she thought it was an April Fool's prank.
05:10She was like, you're lying to me.
05:11This is a lie.
05:12She was weirded out by it.
05:15Yeah, I think the worst judgment we've gotten is from family.
05:18It is from family.
05:19And I think yours specifically, one of your family members.
05:23Yeah.
05:24Definitely tore into him a little bit.
05:25Yeah.
05:26No matter what I did to explain it to him, he just wouldn't get it.
05:30Another one of the biggest assumptions, I think,
05:32when it comes to throuples in general is it's always two girls and one guy.
05:37Yeah.
05:38I feel like one of the conceptions people get about bisexual men is that it's –
05:43I feel like a lot of people can never really truly believe
05:45that someone actually can like both, but it is a thing, and it is real.
05:49A lot more questions about how we sleep in the bedroom,
05:53if we sleep in one bed.
05:55That seems to be the number one question.
05:58I was going to – you –
06:00I – you –
06:03We all just sleep in the same bed.
06:05Like we all just kind of take turns.
06:07It'll be me and James switching to be in the middle
06:10because Hunter does not like being in the middle.
06:12So we actually – we share a lot of things.
06:15My boyfriend.
06:16We actually do share.
06:17You're done.
06:18You're not wrong.
06:20We're going to have a video call with my grandma Peggy,
06:23and I'm interested to hear what she has to say about our relationship.
06:26Why did you suspect that we were in a throuple?
06:43Did you have any other worries about our relationship, my mom?
06:57You were happy I just had a backup plan.
07:07Yeah, honorary grandson.
07:18Sarah, I never thought I could love a woman.
07:21I really didn't.
07:23I thought it was a man, and I was going to the grave.
07:27You've definitely changed my perspective on things,
07:29and that's helped me a lot.
07:32And then, of course, James.
07:33You've definitely helped me grow as a person too.
07:35Yeah, overall, you guys have both definitely helped me to grow as a person
07:38and become the best version of myself.
07:40Stepping way out of my comfort zone to do something I never thought possible,
07:44and I'll never be able to thank you both enough for all the love, support.
07:48You truly do make me the happiest guy in the world.
07:51Knowing that you guys love each other and love me just as much as I love both of you,
07:56it makes me so happy.
07:59It's our lives.
08:00We're going to live it the way that we want to live it, honestly.
08:02Just keep your judgment to yourself.
08:04If you really don't like it, don't look.
08:21.