Sister Wives S9 Episode 12 - Put Your House in Order
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Previously on Sister Wives...
00:02I came because we have this property.
00:05Mm-hmm.
00:06I'm gonna suggest to you
00:08that you protect your interest in it.
00:10Would Cody and Robin really go into this
00:13thinking, maybe we should get all of the property?
00:16Don't you think that we have each other's backs
00:18as far as that goes?
00:19Um, no. I really don't.
00:21It's just one heartbreak after another.
00:27It's just too much.
00:29Maddie and Caleb and I,
00:31we actually found a place in North Carolina.
00:33It's a big change. This is huge.
00:35This is Janelle finding land.
00:38I haven't said anything to him about North Carolina.
00:40I don't really feel like I need to share that with him.
00:42He's not gonna be part of that life.
00:44If you marry again and everything like that...
00:46Would you be the flower girl?
00:48No, I'd get a walker down the aisle.
00:52It's just different now.
00:54It's the end of an era.
00:56It didn't have to be this way.
01:00Christine's gone for sure and for good.
01:03Janelle is most likely.
01:07And it's like this is the final nail
01:10in the coffin of our dream.
01:26♪♪♪
01:36♪♪♪
01:41♪♪♪
01:51♪♪♪
02:02Oh.
02:13Thanks for being cool.
02:19Guess we can be best friends now,
02:20but you have to get in line behind him.
02:22I'm sorry, she's not taking applications.
02:24Out you go. Goodbye. See ya.
02:26This moment with Mary is me moving from the anger
02:30to just this moment of grief
02:34and just trying to be safe in it,
02:36sit in it, own it, feel it,
02:40and begin healing.
02:44Nice of you to take the emotional ex-lax.
02:47Hmm.
02:50It's more like a...
02:53permission to move on.
02:55We have divorced.
02:57We'll have a friendship, I hope.
02:59We'll get along.
03:01But this is the end of this family,
03:04right here, right now.
03:10Oh.
03:11So this teary goodbye for me
03:15didn't just confuse Mary.
03:18Nathan, I think, was confused a little bit, too,
03:20because when we get in my car and we drive off,
03:23he just touches me, he says,
03:26You know that I'm not one to push, but are you sure?
03:31I was like, brother,
03:34if you don't understand now,
03:36I don't know how I'm gonna be able to make you understand.
03:43I'm not questioning whether we're doing the right thing.
03:46I know that Mary and I can't be married.
03:49And I'm not questioning, you know, our experience,
03:53because it's great memory.
03:55It's just the end.
04:03Are you okay?
04:04That was really weird.
04:06I don't understand his emotions.
04:13I am so confused.
04:15Part of me was like,
04:17Oh, s***, what have I done?
04:19Maybe I did the wrong thing.
04:24Like, it doesn't make any sense to me.
04:27That was unexpected.
04:32It's like, if you're so clear on the fact
04:35that you don't ever want to be married to me,
04:38oh, and you're also saying things like you never loved me,
04:42but you're sitting here sobbing about an end of an era
04:48and that we had something special,
04:50like, which is it?
04:54I mean, it's been a long time coming.
04:57It's been, like, eight years coming.
04:59For you.
05:00Like, I think he's been all over the place.
05:02Maybe that's why he's feeling like this.
05:05The reality hit him.
05:07I mean, it's been, well, you know...
05:10You said seven years. Sorry for the seven years.
05:12I know. Eight. It's been eight now.
05:15Yesterday would have been our 33rd anniversary.
05:23You guys moved. Here we go.
05:27So I met Mary when I lived in Vegas,
05:30and they lived in Vegas as well.
05:32I saw the family a lot for different reasons, and, you know...
05:39It always seemed like he spent the majority of his time
05:42at Robin's house.
05:44I saw it even then, and so did my husband.
05:46Like, we saw that he favoured one over the others,
05:51and it sucked.
05:53You've had time to process it and to mourn it.
05:56Like, we've done this for a year.
05:58I'm still mourning it. I would...
06:00If he... No.
06:04That opens yourself up so much.
06:06I mean, it's... I'm not, like...
06:08I know.
06:10It's not like I'm running back to him or anything like that.
06:12Like, that's not going to happen.
06:14It's just that...
06:18Like, is he really sad about it?
06:20Like, I do. I question. I think that's normal.
06:22Like, when you have a split, you question,
06:24wait, did I do the right thing?
06:36Maybe it'd be easier if he was just mean and a jerk.
06:39It'd be so much easier if he'd be stupid.
06:42But usually he is.
06:44He really is. Yeah.
06:46Maybe, yeah, I'll just plan on him being stupid again so I can...
06:49If only he would've, like, dropped the dresser.
06:52He just needed to do something dumb.
06:54For being nice.
06:57I don't think it's any one thing that broke up the family.
07:00Things changed. Things changed so much for them.
07:03Flagstaff really divided the family.
07:05I think because physically they were farther away,
07:08it was a whole lot easier for every one of them
07:11to just go about living separate lives.
07:13And COVID really...
07:16That was the final straw.
07:20But for Mary, I think...
07:23She continued to try.
07:25She moved to Arizona to continue to try.
07:28And I think, over time,
07:31just seeing him consistently fell to follow through on his promises
07:35was her end, for her specifically.
07:39The majority of the responsibility in this case
07:42lands on the husband.
07:44He wanted to have four wives.
07:46He has to figure out how to make four relationships work.
07:49I couldn't do it.
07:51Okay, here I am.
07:53Should we start, like, getting you, like, organized?
07:55We live in the same town again.
07:56Finally!
07:57It's been so long!
07:59This town is in for it.
08:01It's gonna be busy. We're gonna be busy.
08:05It's just confusing.
08:06Like, it's really just confusing.
08:08But the thing is, I know where I am.
08:10I'm at peace with our decision to terminate the marriage.
08:16When Cody said that he plans on walking Mary down the aisle,
08:21that is definitely not happening.
08:23If anyone is walking Mary down the aisle, it's me.
08:26Not Cody.
08:29That is all.
08:40Savannah's graduating from high school,
08:42and Janelle asked me if we could actually do a party here at my house.
08:46Most of Janelle's kids are here.
08:48Most of my kids are here.
08:50I'd like a party.
08:53Throughout the years, we've always had these big graduation parties for the kids.
08:57We would all work together and throw them a big party.
09:00A lot of times, a lot of people came.
09:02So it'll be different than the other graduation parties,
09:05but we're gonna still do something to really mark the occasion.
09:09This is the only picture I have of Savannah when she was brand new.
09:11Look at how fat her cheeks were.
09:13That was really cute.
09:15I wouldn't have expected to be invited.
09:17Janelle and I aren't in a good place,
09:19and Christina and I aren't in a good place.
09:22I do not interact with Cody and Robin or their kids.
09:25Savannah doesn't really have much to do with them,
09:27so it'd be super awkward, and no, I'm not gonna invite them.
09:31They were calling him Grandpa David earlier.
09:33Who was calling him Grandpa David?
09:35Axel and Evie.
09:36Axel and Evie.
09:37Axel and Evie?
09:38Axel and Evie.
09:39They call him Grandpa Dave, and I have to go, it's David.
09:41Why do they call him Grandpa Dave? Why do they shorten it?
09:44It was Uncle Dave for a long time, and I'm like, he's not your uncle.
09:48David and I lived together for two months.
09:52He and Truly are great.
09:54Things are going really, really smooth,
09:57and it's lovely to just settle.
10:00It's just settling.
10:03So, we're finally getting this property in Flagstaff paid off.
10:07It is to the wire.
10:08Like, I think we have maybe like five days, ten days.
10:11So, I don't know what Cody's doing.
10:13He's talking about gathering up all the money.
10:16I'm like, I'm just gonna wire mine, you guys do what you want,
10:18but please just make sure it's there by the freaking deadline.
10:22And now, I've got to talk to Maddie and Caleb.
10:24We can finally move forward,
10:26because we can buy this land in North Carolina
10:28and launch our next dream.
10:30So, we have the lot that we're looking at in North Carolina.
10:33Yeah.
10:35We want to attain that one,
10:37and then you want to start looking at selling this one,
10:39or what do you want to do?
10:40I've got to still fight to bring this subdivision to fruition.
10:45Okay.
10:46And I don't know how long that's going to take.
10:48If you drive that, will it happen?
10:50Maybe.
10:51The property is a little bit complicated,
10:53because even though we have these four lots,
10:56our names are not all on title for these four lots.
10:58So, if we sold them now,
11:00it would be up to somebody's magnanimous generosity to be fair, right?
11:04And I suspect that will happen, but I have no guarantee.
11:07So, in anticipation that I may have to fight
11:10for my fair part of this property,
11:13I have retained a lawyer.
11:15Okay, and you're entitled to?
11:17Well, it's going to be the piece that we've talked about,
11:20the four acres.
11:22Of 14?
11:24That's okay, because it has to divide four ways.
11:27I don't, whatever it's turned out like it was going to be for,
11:31I don't, whatever, Maddie, at this point.
11:33That's fine.
11:34I just don't care, because it's like, four acres is enough for me,
11:38for my piece, because I don't want to go toe-to-toe
11:43with whatever crazy logic they have.
11:45Fine, fair.
11:46Well, I would get, let's push to get it subdivided
11:48so you can sell it and be done.
11:50And then you can settle with us in North Carolina.
11:52Look, Maddie's frustrated here, because it's,
11:54I don't really have any way to move forward.
11:56He's not responding when I ask him about the property.
11:59He's proposing a split that doesn't make any sense to me.
12:01I'm just trying to move it along.
12:03However, that is just so we can all get our fair share,
12:06but nothing is happening.
12:08Okay, I'm excited.
12:09It's going to be a lot of work.
12:11Maddie and I have called each other the last month and a half.
12:13Every day we're like, okay.
12:15At 3 a.m., I was freaking out a little bit,
12:17because it's like, oh, my gosh, it's going to be so much work.
12:20It is. I'm excited.
12:22I'm so proud of you. I'm excited for you.
12:24I mean, I definitely am all in on this.
12:26Like, I'm putting all my financial resources into this.
12:29But Maddie and Caleb are, too.
12:31So we both have this dream.
12:33We're all contributing. We're all in.
12:35All of us are all in, so...
12:40That was always a big deal for us in Las Vegas.
12:43We always had a big graduation party for each kid,
12:46and that's not how it went this time.
12:48This situation sucks to high...
12:51I've got this whole other side of the family
12:53that have decided that they're still a family,
12:56and we're out.
13:08So I am in London.
13:10I'm standing in front of the Buckingham Palace.
13:13Oh, my gosh.
13:16Oh, my gosh.
13:18I have never been to London before.
13:20This is seriously just kind of a defining moment.
13:24I mean, the world is my oyster.
13:26Okay, day three in London.
13:31My goodness, it has been amazing.
13:35So many good things here.
13:37So many amazing places that we've seen.
13:41Whoo!
13:43So good.
13:45Making this trip
13:47and doing it solo,
13:51I mean, it's empowering.
13:54Stonehenge, England.
14:04I literally cannot believe I'm here.
14:09Oh, my gosh.
14:11This is something that I have wanted to do
14:15for probably the majority of my life,
14:17and so actually being here right now
14:20is kind of blowing my mind.
14:24Stonehenge has fascinated me for years and years and years.
14:28I remember one night staying up really late
14:31watching this documentary about Stonehenge,
14:34and it made me even that much more fascinated
14:38I am truly in awe of this place.
14:42It felt like, what the heck?
14:45I didn't even know these emotions.
14:48It was really interesting,
14:50because after we made the decision to split,
14:54I feel free.
14:58Not in a way that I felt like I was being forced to stay,
15:02and I didn't feel stuck, necessarily.
15:07But it's interesting how free I feel.
15:11Okay.
15:13It is my last evening here in London.
15:16It has been an epic, an amazing, a beautiful trip.
15:21I'm very glad I came.
15:24I came at a really good time in my life, so...
15:28The official ending of my marriage to Cody,
15:32I'm very at peace.
15:36With that decision.
15:39Honestly, this is just the beginning of something amazing.
15:44And I'm super excited about what is to come.
15:49I think I'm making good strides.
15:51I think this is a very good thing.
15:58Look at her smile at you.
16:02We wanted to do a flash mob for Savannah.
16:05And so I sent out this dance for everybody to do.
16:08Super easy, just learn the steps.
16:10And nobody did it.
16:12Nobody did it.
16:14So Maddie instead sent out this video,
16:16and she goes, this is what we're doing.
16:18And Maddie decided that she wanted to start it.
16:21What? What? Why am I needed?
16:25This is what we're doing.
16:27cut up the bass
16:46Savannah's like...
16:57That was it.
16:58Yay!
16:59Kind of fell.
17:00It was chaos.
17:02Yeah, it was a lot of different things that came
17:04together that didn't work.
17:06It's fine.
17:07It's fine.
17:08OK.
17:09Did you like it?
17:09Yeah.
17:10The Harlem Shake?
17:12Well, I'd like to be able to be part of Savannah's life.
17:15But it's like they're in this collusion that
17:18seems to hate Robin.
17:20And I don't know why, other than, well, they're jealous.
17:27So Cody has this idea that somehow, if he leaves Robin
17:30home, he's going to be able to come to these family gatherings.
17:32And that's so far from the truth.
17:34Cody is alienated from 90% to 95% of his children.
17:39He is not really wanted at events.
17:42He's not coming, regardless of who he brings
17:45or doesn't bring with him.
17:471, 2, 3.
17:51That was always a big deal for us in Las Vegas.
17:53We always had a big graduation party for each kid.
17:57And it's just really sad that that's
18:00not how it went this time.
18:01All right, guys.
18:02Let's do three final cheers to congratulate Savannah.
18:06Hip, hip.
18:07Hooray!
18:08Hip, hip.
18:09Hooray!
18:10Hip, hip, hip.
18:11Hooray!
18:12Woo!
18:12Hip, hip, hip.
18:13Hooray!
18:15The situation sucks to high-
18:16Shit.
18:17It just sucks.
18:20I've got this whole other side of the family
18:22that have decided that they're still a family and we're out.
18:26Now, they'll let me in that club as long
18:29as I leave Robin behind.
18:31I can't do that.
18:37I've been looking forward to this for so long.
18:40We're finally paying off this property.
18:42Well, I know Janelle had come to me.
18:45I was just like, make sure that you protect yourself.
18:52I'm just going to say Janelle does not
18:54like Mary or care for her.
19:07So I drove back into Flagstaff today
19:09so that I could write this check for Cody
19:11so that he can take it over to the title company
19:14and we can get this property paid off.
19:16Each of us are going to be contributing
19:17to get the last part of this paid off.
19:19So it will be done.
19:21It will be paid off.
19:22It will be one less headache to have to worry about.
19:29Today will be a lot of relief.
19:31You know, I'm like, it's a happy day
19:33that we're getting Coyote Pass paid off.
19:35But there's a deep awareness that we're no longer family.
19:42How are you?
19:43Good.
19:44Good.
19:45Good, good.
19:45Happy to be doing this today.
19:48I've been looking forward to this for so long.
19:51We're finally paying off this property.
19:53That's good.
19:54That's good stuff, you know?
19:56Hey, Mary.
19:57How's it going?
19:58Good.
19:58How are you?
19:59Good.
20:00How have your travels been?
20:01So good.
20:02How is London?
20:04Go ahead and have a seat.
20:05So good.
20:05So good?
20:06So good.
20:07I've always wanted to go.
20:08Oh my gosh.
20:09I mean, Stonehenge is a place that I've
20:11wanted to go for years, you know?
20:15I've been obsessed with it for years.
20:17So it was just awesome to be there.
20:19That is so cool.
20:20Stonehenge?
20:21There's got to be other places that were cool.
20:25That's pretty cool.
20:26I guess.
20:27I mean, I've only talked about it and obsessed
20:29about it for 25 years, you know what I mean?
20:34Like, it's just, it's interesting,
20:37you know, when you realize that something
20:40was so meaningful that your partner really had no idea
20:44and really could care less.
20:47Remember when we used to be married?
20:49And remember when we used to, like,
20:51be interested in each other?
20:53And remember when, how I've been obsessed with Stonehenge?
20:59Should I leave?
21:00No.
21:01No.
21:03Remember when I used to be, like, really obsessed
21:07with Stonehenge and you knew this?
21:08I said you didn't have to leave.
21:10Oh, no, no.
21:11I'm just getting something.
21:11There's a sticky spot.
21:12Did you not know that I'm obsessed with Stonehenge
21:16and how important this was to me?
21:21I honestly have found Cody will forget things
21:24that are important to me that I've been talking about
21:26unless he's interested in it or he can use it as somehow
21:30leverage to say, you need to do this and we can do this.
21:34You need to do this so we can go to Ireland.
21:36If you wanted to do things with Cody,
21:38you really had to live in his world
21:40and do things in his world and what he was interested in
21:44and what you were interested in, not so much.
21:47Not really.
21:48Oh, gosh.
21:49I'm a guy.
21:50There are certain things I'm just going to remember
21:53and there are certain things that just
21:55aren't going to matter to me, even if they do matter to you.
21:59Sometimes it's just selective memory.
22:04I'm so excited to be doing this.
22:07You excited to be doing this?
22:09So I wired, we figured out what a fourth was.
22:13I sent my fourth into the title company.
22:15So there's a huge weight that's come off my shoulder
22:17with the final payment on this property
22:19because the way the contract was written,
22:21we could have potentially lost all of it
22:23because it was all collateralized in the loan.
22:26So once this is done, then we start discussing,
22:33dividing it up to four equal or semi-equal parcels.
22:40I've spoken with Janelle and because there's
22:45woods on our section, on the three lots that we've got,
22:49I said, do you want to do a appraisal
22:55or are you happy with your four acres?
22:58And Mary and I split in the other six acres.
23:02Now that Christine's out and she's given the property
23:03over to us, it's just me, Mary, Robin,
23:06and Janelle that are owners on it.
23:09So there would be Robin's four acres
23:11and then Janelle's four acres.
23:13And then Mary would have a lot and I would have a lot.
23:16And then Mary and I share a lot.
23:18The reason I want to do this is because, you know,
23:20we get the fifth lot, the kids are able to inherit
23:22something special for themselves,
23:24but mostly it was just like getting all the value
23:26we could out of the land.
23:28It's just an idea.
23:30She says, I'm fine with that.
23:31I think that's fair.
23:32You guys got the woods.
23:33So it'd be three acres each, basically.
23:34I still think it would be a really wise idea.
23:37I want to know for me, because I think it's,
23:40I think it would be fair for all four of us
23:42to know really like what the lots are worth.
23:46I think it's fair and valid that we get an appraisal
23:51on the full property rather than just somebody guessing
23:55that, oh, well, there's trees.
23:57So it must mean that it's more valuable.
24:00Maybe it does, but wouldn't we want to know
24:03exactly how much more valuable?
24:05Because-
24:06We can do that.
24:07Or, I can't remember if it was a developer
24:09or a contractor might want to buy the entire thing.
24:13And if they bought the entire thing,
24:14then we would just split it four ways.
24:17Is that something you want to do?
24:18I know you really want that property.
24:20Yeah, so I don't know.
24:22So I'm bringing it to you as just an idea.
24:24I don't want to sell.
24:26I don't know that I want to sell.
24:28Okay.
24:29I still want to bail on Coyote Pass.
24:32I hope that Mary builds a home out there.
24:34I know that she probably won't live there full time,
24:36but where she's around and she's there.
24:38And I really hope that Janelle builds out there too.
24:41So right now we're kind of in this no man's land.
24:44Like I have a lawyer, Cody's not really talking to me
24:47about what he wants to do.
24:49He's not acting excited or enthused
24:51or even like wanting to move forward with this.
24:54And I would just as soon he buy me out,
24:56but I just want to get this resolved and sold.
25:00And split four ways.
25:01Well, I know Janelle had come to me not,
25:05I don't know, a little while ago.
25:06I can't remember.
25:07I was just like, make sure that you protect yourself.
25:15I know that when Janelle came over to my house,
25:18she was very concerned about how it was going to go down.
25:22And having these conversations with Cody,
25:24he has explained that when we divide up the property,
25:28we're each going to have an equal part.
25:30Him, Robin, me, and Janelle
25:33will each have an equal part of the property.
25:35And I'm like-
25:36Protect yourself?
25:37Yeah, I think she was just concerned that,
25:39I don't, I don't know.
25:41I don't know.
25:42You know, even though Mary and I
25:43really don't have a real relationship,
25:45my conscience really, really dictated
25:47that I went and spoke with her about the property.
25:50It wasn't to create drama.
25:51It was just to make sure she was aware
25:54and could be educated going into the situation.
25:57She doesn't trust me because she would screw me
25:59if she could, that's what I believe.
26:02Okay, and I'll be honest, I've thought about screwing her.
26:06Okay, so I'm being honest, but I won't.
26:10My wife with a conscience won't let me.
26:13Like just making sure that we're all covered
26:18and in the property situation.
26:20I'm like, well, your name is on the property.
26:24Like my name is on less property than hers.
26:27I'm only legally a third owner of one of the four parcels.
26:35So I own the least amount of property.
26:39I don't understand why the property
26:40got divided the way that it did.
26:42I was not involved in that process.
26:44I was just told about it after the fact.
26:47The names on the properties were just temporary
26:49until we paid it off.
26:51And like nobody made that decision except for Cody.
26:55And we were just told about it later.
26:57And I was like, why did you do it that way?
26:59And he was just like,
27:00I just had to make a decision really quickly.
27:02I was just trying to, I don't even know.
27:07I know that Cody's name is on every single property.
27:09And I know Robyn's is on, I think three.
27:13So they own the monopoly.
27:15And I hope that they will be fair
27:18and I hope that they will be honest.
27:21And I hope that it doesn't get ugly.
27:25I believe that Cody is resistant getting an appraisal
27:33because he knows he's making out like a bandit now.
27:37Is there a problem?
27:38I don't understand.
27:39I don't know.
27:40I don't want to put more money.
27:42I don't want to talk to lawyers about it.
27:44I'm not interested in doing anything.
27:46I'm not married to Cody anymore.
27:49I have to look out for myself.
27:51What are you gonna do?
27:53Are you gonna drop it off at the office?
27:55Okay. Are you mailing these?
27:58Are you gonna drop it off at the office?
28:01I'm actually gonna do a certified letter.
28:04So we're finally paying off this dang property in Flagstaff.
28:08But now there's this big fight about how do we divide it?
28:13I don't know what to expect from Cody.
28:15He's been kind of an ass about the property.
28:17So he might be an ass about it as we go move forward,
28:20Who knows?
28:21I do think that it would be fair for us
28:23to really know what, before we make any decisions,
28:26before I make a decision, I think
28:28it would be fair for me to know and all of us
28:32to know what the property is worth,
28:34like different parts of it.
28:35Oh, my gosh, that's, I mean, we have to have somebody
28:40who's a land appraiser.
28:42No, I'm sure they have those in Flagstaff.
28:46Yeah.
28:47When Mary first started saying we should get it appraised,
28:50I had no problem with it.
28:51I was like, yeah, let's make sure.
28:53I don't want to just sit here and guess.
28:55Let's make sure it's fair.
28:58Is there a problem?
28:59I don't understand.
28:59I don't know.
29:00OK.
29:01I mean, we've got four partners that are,
29:04that all have different goals with the property.
29:08OK.
29:09Well, we still need to know, don't we?
29:12Instead of just guessing.
29:14It's OK.
29:21I believe that Cody is resistant getting appraisal because he
29:25knows he's making out like a bandit now.
29:27He wants us to add trust that he knows
29:30what he's talking about with the values of the property.
29:33It's like I look out there, and it's sort
29:35of a source of pain in a way.
29:37And I'm like, I don't want to put more money.
29:40I don't want to do appraisals.
29:42Maybe I have to.
29:43I don't want to talk to lawyers about it.
29:45I don't, I just, it's like, I don't know what to do.
29:49I'm not interested in doing anything.
29:51This is weird.
29:52Like, I'm having mixed emotions.
29:53Like, I keep going, yay, yay, we're paying off the property.
29:56Oh, wait.
29:58I mean, paying off the land meant the family
30:01would be back together.
30:03We were all going to build our homes out there.
30:06And it just meant we were out there, all of us,
30:10that we were going to get our cul-de-sac space back.
30:12You know, we just had this really great experience
30:15and situation with the cul-de-sac in Vegas.
30:17And so now it's like, you know, that, like, what does it mean?
30:22And what's it going to look like?
30:23And, you know.
30:26Is Janelle thinking of building?
30:28Or do you even know?
30:30She's told me she's planning on, she keeps suggesting we sell it.
30:35And she keeps suggesting we sell it together.
30:37Oh, but you guys want to build out there still?
30:41OK, I got mixed emotions on it.
30:43I, yeah, I'm definitely interested in building there.
30:47Janelle needs some healing before I'd
30:50be willing to live next to her out on Coyote Pass.
30:53So if she builds, I would probably
30:59tell Robin that we're selling.
31:02Robin might just say, like Robin does,
31:05well, why don't we just find a way
31:06to be good neighbors with her?
31:09You know, I have talked to Cody about building.
31:12That was a long time ago.
31:13I asked him to buy me out last winter.
31:14He said he didn't have the money.
31:16I don't know what my options are in order to preserve
31:19my part of the investment.
31:21But if I have to build out there,
31:22I don't really want to live next to them.
31:25I don't know.
31:25Big fences, be a bad neighbor, maybe
31:28they'll go somewhere else.
31:29I don't know.
31:30This house has a lot of pain for me.
31:33Not because of anything between us,
31:36but because of the experience I've
31:38lived through here in this house for the past three years.
31:41Unless we sell this, we don't have the money to build there.
31:45It's, it's.
31:48I know a house for rent.
31:53If Mary built out there, hell yeah.
31:56Like, yeah, Mary, I'll sweep your,
31:57I'll get the snow off your driveway.
32:00I have no intention of building out on Coyote Pass.
32:04There's nothing holding me to Flagstaff,
32:06so there's no reason for me to want to build there.
32:10That's a you thing.
32:15What do you mean?
32:16What do you mean?
32:17I don't have to be involved in that.
32:19In what?
32:21Your decision on what you guys do out there.
32:27Why is that confusing?
32:31How soon you forget.
32:36So regarding the property, we're going
32:38to have to start talking about how we're going to divide it
32:41up, and I don't know how or when that conversation is going to go.
32:48I'm not married to Cody anymore.
32:51I'm not part of Cody and Robin's unit.
32:54I have to look out for myself.
32:58I talk about it like Cody's all in charge
33:01of the whole property.
33:02It's because he really has a monopoly on it.
33:05His name is on every single piece of property.
33:07If it gets to the point that I would need an attorney,
33:13I would do that.
33:14I hope that it doesn't get there,
33:16but I would do that if I need to.
33:25I'm on my way to Las Vegas to meet my brothers.
33:28It's kind of like a man trip, I guess.
33:30There is something extremely nostalgic in me
33:34about Las Vegas.
33:37But my family breaks up, and I'm going,
33:43maybe this is the way it was always supposed to be.
33:45It's like, fine, move on.
33:47Just stop blaming Robin.
34:03I'm on my way to Las Vegas to meet my brothers.
34:06Basically, it's a Christmas present
34:08that we sort of give each other.
34:10It's kind of like a man trip, I guess.
34:12We won't be doing any debauchery.
34:14We won't be gambling.
34:16Like, the naughtiest thing we're going to do
34:17is probably swear a lot.
34:19It's sad leaving Robin and the kids at home,
34:23but I'm going to really enjoy the man trip.
34:29They used to do it a lot more in Vegas
34:32and then stop for a while.
34:34I'm glad he's going, because I know that this
34:37will be healing for him.
34:41Oh, God.
34:42Waiting for Cody.
34:44He's probably doing his hair.
34:46Yeah, probably is.
34:53Scott's the oldest brother.
34:56Scott is in a plural marriage, and he's still very closely
34:59attached to our old church.
35:02Michael's not in plural marriage,
35:03probably won't be in plural marriage,
35:05and is no longer really, to my knowledge,
35:08affiliated with our old church.
35:11Everybody always wants to give me crap about my hair,
35:15but I have to do a lot of work to take care of this hair.
35:18Wow.
35:19Listen, if I don't dry it right, the curls don't happen.
35:26His hair.
35:27His hair has always been important to him.
35:29Don't be jealous.
35:31It's a lot of work.
35:32The grayer I get, it's all colored.
35:35You know, I just, I need it to be pretty.
35:37And then the hair net helps the curls.
35:39You know, if I don't want to spend
35:40the entire time blow drying, it's a little cheesy,
35:45but it works.
35:46All right, let's get out of here.
35:47Whoa, where are we going?
35:49We're going to where we used to live, the old cul-de-sac.
35:52There is something extremely nostalgic in me
35:56and about Las Vegas, because personally, I
35:58feel like Las Vegas was the one place in my life I felt safe.
36:02Cheers.
36:03Cheers.
36:03We were accepted.
36:04We were tolerated.
36:05We made friends in Las Vegas.
36:07We had our family together in a cul-de-sac.
36:10We had this amazing experience in Las Vegas.
36:15And so I want to go to see the cul-de-sac,
36:18because this is nostalgia for me.
36:20This is a special place.
36:24Man, it's so bizarre being back here.
36:29Such good memories.
36:31Dude, so many memories.
36:35It's almost heartbreaking.
36:38We did our recommitment celebration.
36:41We did our family mission statement.
36:43We did that all living in the cul-de-sac.
36:49It was the closest thing I ever had to the dream.
36:52And I don't know if I ever did plural marriage correctly, ever.
36:55But this was the place where it was beautiful,
37:00at least as beautiful as my experience ever had it.
37:04And I tend to remember the best parts of things.
37:07And so I loved this place.
37:10So you're, you're, uh.
37:11They've done some more landscaping.
37:12Your houses were down at that end, right?
37:14Yeah, yeah.
37:16I came by once a year ago and hit a point
37:19where I was just weeping out of, I don't know,
37:25nostalgia or some feeling of loss.
37:29You know, this is, of course, after Christine's left
37:31and after my problems with Janelle
37:33and Mary's problems started while we were here.
37:37But it was just like my memory still has us together in this space.
37:42And it's, it's a relatively warm memory for me.
37:47Is there any hope to reconcile with Janelle?
37:51I keep asking Janelle to reconcile with me.
37:53I keep asking her.
37:54She just says, no, I just, I enjoy my life without you.
37:59I didn't know I was that big a pain in the butt.
38:01But I, she's, she's free.
38:03And I'm insulted by her expressions, like her just being, I'm done.
38:08I don't want it.
38:09But I'll be honest with you.
38:12It's really easy to sit here and be in a place with Robin
38:16in that, that intimacy and that safety and that wholeness
38:21in that divine relationship and not worry about the others.
38:28And it's liberating.
38:31I was building a family.
38:32I wasn't whether I was in love.
38:34I loved them.
38:36Was I in love with them?
38:38Did I have the same experience with each one?
38:40No, never.
38:42That's a hard confession to make when I was working really
38:45hard to hide what Robin and I had while I'm
38:49trying to promote everything else.
38:54The problem that I'm struggling with is Christine and Janelle
38:57are both like, hey, listen, let's just move on, you know, kind of thing.
39:01But then they trash talk me behind my back.
39:07I'm bugged to no end by that.
39:09It's like, fine, move on.
39:11Just stop blaming Robin.
39:15Right.
39:16There's a little fault that I have.
39:18And it's not a fault with a big family,
39:20but it's a fault when I'm a monogamist, OK?
39:23I'm still trying to partner with Janelle, who has rejected
39:28our marriage and our partnership.
39:30And Mary calls me, and I answer the phone, and I jump.
39:33Hey, I got to go see Mary.
39:34That's been a weird space.
39:36I've been trying to work with these women.
39:38I've been working so hard to get them to agree.
39:42I'm still trying to do it.
39:43And the real point is Robin's the only woman
39:46I have to get to agree with me now.
39:49So now I'm essentially a monogamist.
39:53And I'm in this different world, because it's not this big thing.
39:59There's not all this energy behind it.
40:01But I do feel like it's right for me.
40:07So my family breaks up.
40:10And I'm going, maybe this is the way
40:13it was always supposed to be.
40:15And that's hard to say when you've got all the children
40:19and all the experience and all the memories.
40:21But yet, I don't know what else to do besides say,
40:24this is what's happening, so this is where we're at.
40:27And so you'll never take on another wife?
40:30I never want to marry again.
40:32Never again.
40:33So I'm very happy with the idea of just
40:38growing old together with Robin.
40:41In fact, it sounds romantic.
40:45Riding off into the sunset with Robin.
40:48There you go.
40:51I've just been through three divorces.
40:53I shuddered at the idea of marrying again.
40:58The pain that it put me through, the pain
40:59that it put Robin through.
41:00I'm not interested in this right now.
41:03It's just been a really difficult three years.
41:08All right, I want to just get one last look here.
41:12And it's almost heartbreaking.
41:16That's just the way it is.
41:18All right, let's get out of here, ma'am.
41:21I would never want to do polygamy again.
41:23The realization I've had since I talked to my brothers
41:26was that polygamy kills emotional intimacy.
41:30It makes everybody defensive.
41:32I really want an emotionally vulnerable,
41:36intimate relationship with a woman.
41:38And you're not going to get that in polygamy.
41:46Next time on Sister Wives.
41:48I'm going to get a wedding dress.
41:50Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
41:57Her first wedding dress was not sexy, not elegant,
42:01and did not fit her well.
42:04I want to start dating guys who kind of believe the same thing
42:08and have the same, like, life goal as me.
42:11I know that they're interested in dating,
42:14but I'm like, hey, that's not, shouldn't be the reason
42:16why you're at a church.
42:18Ever since he has married Robin, he
42:20has wanted nobody else or you.
42:25I think that there is a way that Cody
42:27and I could have figured out our relationship and our marriage.